That horrible momment when you miss so much unreal character till the point you get depressed a little
fan art by jongparksin :)
My my! This is so cute!!! 😊
taylor price
Show & Tell

shark vs the universe
Monterey Bay Aquarium

PR's Tumblrdome

★

Origami Around
sheepfilms
Misplaced Lens Cap

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Product Placement

pixel skylines
h

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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titsay
almost home
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Sweet Seals For You, Always
DEAR READER
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@coldheartedyouman
That horrible momment when you miss so much unreal character till the point you get depressed a little
fan art by jongparksin :)
My my! This is so cute!!! 😊
He Drove All Night - Part 2
Hello my lovlies. Thanks to everyone that made such wonderful comments on the first part; he-drove-all-night.
I apologise if this is a bit tense, I’m a bit miserable and had to release it onto the page:-
He Drove All Night - Part 2
He gnawed his lip and gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles went white for the long drive in the darkness. He had to wind the window down an inch on both driver and passenger sides so the winter breeze would keep him alert.
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He Drove All Night
Hello my lovlies, here’s a little shortie that just fell out of my brain.
He Drove All Night
He was awake when the call came. He was always awake; ever since that day he let Katie wotsit press her lips against his. He knew he fucked up and things would never be right again.
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Stranger Things (2016)
honestly what year is it
I HATE THIS FUCKING WEBSITE
Took my a solid minute.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH OMFG
Hi guys! I hope you enjoy this one-shot! I got the au from right HERE :) tis #18
Forever tag list: @nemo-miraclegrow-blog grow @areyousad8118 @thisissomefreshbullshit @luckyemcee @mmfdiaryfan @murderyoursoul @kristicallahan @irish-girl-84 @sey77 @bebelievelive @justagirlnamedkayla @i-love-mmfd @anitavalija @stephlostctrl @milymargot @busstop @pink-royaute @lolflash @youmehellofarollercoasterride @curvygirlonabudget @mellamoaiko @inneedofamoralcompass @paleasalabaster @mmfdfanfic @mallyallyandra @lethallylauren @finnleysraemundo @pissingonursoul @losingpudge @bitchy-broken @fuckintentshop @audisodd @darlingdiver @fantasticab @celestev31 @rinncincin @tinakegg @ducky17 @katywright340 @bitcheslovebeck @raernundo @nutinanutshell @cant-getno-sleep @courtkismet @omgbananasnailus @i-dream-of-emus @guyoverboard @anglophileyoungblood @swooningfangirl @bitchesbecrazy89 @chrryblsms @girlwithafoxhat @annemarieted @sammylbc @sarahlouise88ni @how-ardently @idontliketalkingtoanybody @mmfdblog @phoenixflow @penguinsandbowties @fizzezlikecherrycola @fangirlwithoutshame @africancreativity @alyssaloca @llexis @thatfunnygirllauren @cheersmedear @14000romances @rred87 @nirvanalove27 @takenbyatree @im-an-emu @shashaaussi @mirandasmadeofstone @lililuvlight @flxwxry @slitherouter @saracasm25 @becauseyouarestrong @malvaloca93 @happyfrasers @vmellow @scumothaearff @wandering-soul-7 @hewittgolightly @emmatationsforall @ninjarunningzico @arcticoasisboy @milllott @rafaellabnery @endemictoearth @blackfeministagenda @queenasfuccck @lilaviolet @dianasaurousrexxx @kathhumphreysx @eighty-sixcharlie @flirtmcgirt @nenita1978 @crystalgiddings1993 @girl-looking-out-window @facephase @blobwithagob @freyasfrench @luly310 @borntochaos @likeashootingstarfades @isthistherightwayround @toseeyou-again @emu4ever @carpe-libris @voodoomarie @keisernerosmom @you-are-world-class-i-mean-that @cosiquellocheora @protectfinnnelson @stinemarine @rhi3915 @lovinglifeandlivinglove @caitlinmaddyx @lizzylizard84 @redprairielily @look-how-they-shine-love @annaplantain @everythingilove-blog @lau-vm @absolutelynotnico @mmfdftw @kingbeeyonce @chelsealorine @jackiewalsh2013 @karinskyme @spreadsomepositivity @justthegoodgirlsreject @tipsylou84 @towongfu2 @lily-pop-2 @fuck-sewing-machine as always please let me know if you would like to be added or removed :D
broken, but not beyond repair
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Spin the bottle
a/n- So like…. IDK.
They’re good at ignoring each other.
It’s not a craft Fiin wants to be proficient in but she broke his heart like it was no big deal and he’s not about to let her see him in shambles. So they twist and turn around each other at college and stake claims on opposite sides of the bar and on their friends’ time. If she goes to a party, he doesn’t. If he goes, she knows to stay away.
He should have known it wouldn’t last forever.
Archie told him she wasn’t coming and Chloe told her he wasn’t coming but now they’re sitting across from each other during a game of spin the bottle. He’s torn between wanting to stubbornly hang in there and desperately wanting to run away because his heart is still aching no matter how fiercely he denies it and if he was to sit there and watch her kiss another guy like it’s not big deal (with that same air of nonchalance she used to destroy him), he’ll explode or worse yet, cry.
But they manage a few rounds without the bottle landing on either of them.
“Alright, time to get the party really going!” Barney raises his eyebrows suggestively. “Next pair heads to the closet for a little 7 Minutes in Heaven!”
And the bottle lands on Rae.
Finn is on pins and needles when Barney spins it again. Archer’s in the game which wouldn’t be so bad because he and Rae are just friends and Archie wouldn’t do that to him. But then there’s that Liam guy she’s been hanging out with and he’s not sure what’s going on between them but he can’t stand the thought of them alone in that closet and before he loses his nerve (or his mind), he leans forward and catches the bottle with his fingertips so that it stops on him.
There’s a chorus of cat calls and Barney shouts above the noise “That’s cheating!”
Finn shrugs and stand up, waiting for Rae to do the same. She looks at Liam who motions for her to go on which sends Finn into a mood he’s unsure of (but he knows he wants to punch Liam in his stupid, smug face).
He doesn’t look at her until the door is closed behind them and when he does, he regrets it. She’s beautiful and wonderful and terrible and complete and utter heartbreaker. He’s torn between wanting to kiss her and wanting to ask her what he did that was so awful, but he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to feel anything for or about her (he does, though, and it hurts in a way that nearly cripples him). There are a million things he wants to say, but all that comes out is “Surprised your boyfriend let you come in.”
Her eyes never meet his and she mumbles, “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“Can we not do this, please?”
He’s madder than ever, face flushing as his blood boils. It’s not fair how she never gives him an explanation for anything. “What’d I do, Rae? I thought things were good between us. I… I didn’t mean to get so drunk and I-”
“It’s not you, Finn.”
“Then what is it? Another guy?” He thinks of that twat Liam sitting out there so smug and his temperature bumps up another notch.
Rae laughs and shakes her head and he catches a sarcastic edge when she says, “No, it’s not another guy.”
“Then what?” His voice is starting to sound desperate and he’s losing his grip on the tiny wall around his heart but he’s too far gone to care. “Rae, please. I… you don’t understand how much I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, Finn. But this-” she motions between them. “It’s not right.”
“What’s not right about us?”
She looks at him carefully before slipping her wallet out of the front pocket of her jacket. She pulls something out of it and unfolds it, hands it to him. “That…. that right there is what’s not right about us.”
It’s a picture of them and Finn is floundering because he’s not sure what wrong he’s supposed to be seeing. “I give up. What’s wrong with this?”
“That’s you. Finn Nelson. Fittest lad in college. And there’s me. Rae Earl, fattest girl in college. That’s what’s wrong.”
He cringes and pulls the picture closer to him when she tries to snatch it away. She tries again and he catches her wrist, pulling her flush against him as he tucks the picture into his back pocket.
“That’s mine,” she tells him.
“If you want it back, you’re going to have to take more because I’m claiming this one.” It’s the closest they’ve been in weeks and he feels a little weak and dazed at the scent of her skin.
“We don’t look right together, Finn.”
“You have fucked vision, then.” She tries to pull away but he won’t let her because he’s tired of not having her and he’s tired of chasing her. “Because when I look at that picture, I see you looking beautiful and me looking like some happy, love sick sap. If you don’t see the same then we need to figure out why and fix it. But we can’t do that if you keep running away from me.”
“It’s not just that! People look at us and think-”
“Tell me who’s looking. I’ll knock ‘em out.”
“It’s… there are other things, Finn. I can’t… we…” She loses her breath trying not to cry.
He’s not sure how his heart knows what she’s trying to say but his thumb brushes a tear off her cheek and he tells her, “I just want to kiss you, Rae. No pressure.”
“I’m too much, don’t you get it? I’m too fat, too mental, too-”
“You’re just right for me.”
(And when their 7 minutes are up, Finn keeps one hand on the door and one tangled in her hair because he’s just found heaven and he’s never coming back.)
mmfd meme: [3/5] scenes
One of the things you guys don't mention during the spin the bottle scene is just how quickly Finn jumps up after he's been picked...
Eager much? ;)
The Cupboard of Lust
Finn sat sulking next to Rae, Anna throwing him a playful wink across the room. He couldn’t muster up a reaction, feeling glum beyond words over the shitty way Rae was treating him. Spin the bottle was usually fun, a laugh, a bit juvenile, but that was part of the appeal. Finn would usually be joining in with the frivolity, not tied down by anyone or anything, free to kiss who he pleased without it feeling wrong somehow. Nothing had changed - he was still single, still game for a laugh, still a hot blooded 17 year old lad who was popular with most of the young ladies of Stamford, but at the same time, everything had changed. A girl had entered his life, well, more like stampeded into it, knocking him out of sorts and making him feel things that he’d never felt before. He suddenly missed the days where he wasn’t so confused all the time, the days when he could define every emotion within him and act on them as he pleased. Now, he didn’t know where he was, finding himself desperately longing for the approval of this girl who seemed to despise him. She was a tricky one, was Rae…she’d let him believe there was a chance for them, an open window in her life for him to step into, a place in her heart for him to occupy. She let him believe it with the look of grateful admiration she threw him before they headed off to Knebworth, the playful grin spread across her face as Finn teased her.
She grated on him when he was first getting to know her, and he wasn’t sure what to make of this new arrival. His group of friends were an exclusive bunch and he was very picky over the people he associated with. In his mind, there was only room for one leather clad music elitist in Lincolnshire, a title he didn’t want to share with anyone else. Yet the realisation that Rae was in fact female started to spread within him like roots growing in soil, and with that came a growing attraction to this loud, brash, forceful creature that only seemed to rear its head when somebody else got their hands on her - especially when that somebody else was a good mate of his.
His constant need to simplify things so his already turbulent adolescent life ran as smoothly as possible, lead him to the conclusion that he, above all else, wanted to be Rae’s friend. He’d been relieved that Rae had accepted his apology over how he treated her at the beginning, assuming it would just be plain sailing from there. How wrong he’d been.
He’d confront her later on, he told himself, keen to get to the bottom of her sudden shift in mood. Rae didn’t turn hot and cold with any of their other friends, despite the rare outburst, so Finn was annoyed that she seemed to be singling him out.
If things couldn’t get any worse for him at that moment, his feelings for Rae sprang to the service once more as the bottle slowly spun to a halt, pointing towards her. He hated feeling this way, truly hated it. He hated how his stomach dipped and his pulse quickened, hated how his eyes stung and his skin burned, the hairs on the back of his neck standing to attention. He hated how the bottle seemed to spin for an eternity, hated how he instinctively sized up the ‘competition’ as the evil voice in his head deemed them, glancing from Chop, to Tyler, to Archie, the thought of any of them snogging her like a big rusty nail piercing his brain.
He tried to take a deep breath and compose himself, moving his gaze from the bottle to his hands, trying to force the horrible thoughts from his mind, yet when the bottle finally stopped spinning, his throat felt like it was closing up as he saw it pointing to Tyler, his friends jeering and whistling around them. Finn tried to keep his cool now more than ever, glad that nobody was looking at him at that moment. He used the opportunity to glare at Tyler, who seemed to look uncomfortable, of all things. Despite the majority of Finn’s brain being consumed by the throws of jealousy, he couldn’t stop a little voice from speaking up: 'What are you doing, you wanker? Do you realise that you could be kissing Rae right now? Do you understand how lucky you are?’
This part of Finn became more infuriated by Rae saying sympathetically:
“It’s alright, mate, you don’t have to do it.” Finn chancing a glance at her as she smiled kindly at Tyler, as if doing him a massive favour by 'letting him off’.
“Woah woah woah, nobody’s backing outta this!” Chop began to yell, and Finn wanted to stuff that stupid hat in his gob to shut him up.
Tyler smiled warmly at Rae. “C'mon Rae, let’s go.” he said, holding out his hand after he stood up. Everybody resumed their cooing, a small stab of pain hitting Finn’s chest as he watched Rae’s hand fall into Tyler’s, a small smile on her lips as she stood up. Finn had to look away then, his eyes starting to water. He didn’t notice Rae glance back at him as they left the room, a flash of disappointment in her eyes. He was too busy staring at the bottle he wanted to smash into a million pieces.
“Finn, let us know when it gets to a minute, will ya?” Chop asked over to him, but he barely heard, his fists clenching over his knees.
“Finn…what’s up?” he heard Chloe say to him from his other side, her voice barely an echo as his thoughts tormented him with images of Tyler and Rae together, Tyler holding Rae close, his tongue in her mouth, his hands running through her hair…
He couldn’t take it any more, the anger within him reaching an all new peak. He drank the rest of his can of lager in one gulp, throwing the empty can to the ground as he stood, walking through the gap Tyler previously occupied to stalk to the cupboard, hearing Chop protest behind him amongst a few outbursts of “What the fuck?” and “What’s he doing?”, Finn barely registering any of it as all rational thought left him.
Finn opened the door, the half a second it took for Tyler’s lips to leave Rae’s burning into Finn’s memory as if it took a lifetime.
“Finn!” Rae exclaimed in the darkness, completely shocked. Finn glanced at her, face pained before he looked at Tyler, grabbing the sleeve of his hoody and roughly yanking him out of the cupboard into the hallway.
“What the fuck, Finn?” Tyler shouted, face contorted in confused anger. The other spin the bottle players stood at the door, watching them as Tyler grabbed Finn’s wrist, trying to get Finn to release him. Finn came to himself slightly, letting Tyler go once he was a good enough distance away from Rae. Finn looked at his friends, some of the boys standing to attention just in case something kicked off.
Finn chanced one last look at Rae, the hurt on his face melting slightly into embarrassment. Rae walked out of the darkness, her eyes wide, a look reminiscent of her reaction after Finn chased off Big G in the street a few days ago. Without saying a word, Finn walked quickly away, down the stairs and out the front door, grabbing his jacket on the way. He ignored Rae as she called after him, not wanting to face up to his actions just yet. Slamming the door behind him, he walked quickly away from Rae’s house, resisting the urge to run. He wish he could do the same with his feelings - he wish he could just let it all go, let go of the petty jealousy and kill the angry monster inside him that wanted Rae all to himself.
“Finn! Wait a minute!” He’d nearly got to the end of Rae’s street before he heard her call to him.
“Just leave me alone, Rae, alright?” Finn called back, still walking.
“Please, Finn…” She broke into a run behind him, trying her best to catch up.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Finn continued.
“Bollocks isn’t here!” he heard Rae say, out of breath. He rolled his eyes, cursing himself for stopping. He turned, waiting for Rae to get to him, inexplicably glad that she was at least talking to him now, even if the circumstances weren’t ideal.
“What was that all about?” Rae said, her tone softening slightly as she came to a halt, pulling her hair out of her mouth and tucking it behind her ear.
“What happened in there, Finn? Why did you do that?” Rae continued after Finn only glanced to the side, shaking his head and looking at the pavement.
Looking up, he snarked “Why should I explain myself to ya when you haven’t even been nice to me at all today?” Finn not wanting to leave the war path he was currently sprinting across.
Rae suddenly look embarrassed, guilt evident in her eyes.
“I’m…I’m sorry. I’ve been really stupid.” she said, lowering her gaze sadly.
“I don’t deserve it, Rae - I haven’t done anything. Have I done somethin’ to annoy ya?” he asked, face still flushed with the remnants of his outburst.
“No!” Rae said desperately, shaking her head.
“Then why have you been mugging me off all day?”
“Finn…” Rae began, suddenly more confident. “…if that’s what’s been botherin’ ya, you didn’t have to take it out on that Tyler guy."
Finn’s face twinged with embarrassment once more, before he shook his head, responding quietly as he looked at the floor again:
"That’s not why I did it…” The sentence trailed off, Rae sighing in growing frustration. A fuse had been lit ever since Finn burst into that cupboard, and despite Rae finding it impossible to believe that somebody like Finn Nelson could ever see her that way, his actions seemed to scream the opposite. They both knew it, and Finn couldn’t retract what he’d done now, no matter how much he wanted to.
“Why don’t you like me, Rae?” Finn’s sudden question caught her off guard. Before she could answer, he carried on:
“Loadsa girls like me, ya know…in fact, most girls I know have at least fancied me at some point.” He kept his eyes fixed on Rae, being more matter of fact than boastful.
Rae rolled her eyes, annoyed: “Well, good for you! Do you want a medal or something?”
Finn’s jaw clenched in annoyance, rocking on his feet.
“That’s not what I mean- fuck Rae, I don’t know what to say to ya!” he yelled, frustrated, his voice echoing in the night air.
Rae’s expression softened once more, not wanting Finn to blow up again.
“Why do you even care if I like you or not? Why do you care whether or not I…fancy ya?” Rae asked, annoyed with herself for not being brave enough to just tell him that she likes him more than any other girl ever has, she would predict.
Finn sighed, eyes down. “I just do alright, and not because I’m the vain bastard you think I am, I just…I care what you think about me.” He glanced up at Rae, uncomfortably.
“I don’t think you’re a vain bastard.” she said, shaking her head.
Silence fell between them, only the sound of the distant traffic and the music pumping from Rae’s house accompanying them as they stood in front of each other, a million unspoken words floating between them.
“I know I was out of order back there, you should be able to kiss anyone ya want…” Finn said, quietly, clenching his fist and looking down at his knuckles.
“I didn’t even want to kiss him, Finn!” Rae found herself saying, a little louder than intended.
“That’s not what it looked like from where I was sitting.” Finn threw back, moodily.
“Well, you seemed to be enjoying yourself with that Anna girl or whatever her name is.” Rae threw back, wondering why the hell they were arguing like a married couple when they didn’t seem to even have their friendship sorted.
Finn looked up at Rae, the corners of his mouth pulling up slightly in the beginning of a smirk.
“What’s so bloody funny?” Rae asked, brow furrowed, making Finn’s face shoot back instantly into its previous severity.
“You’re so frustrating, Rae! I don’t know where the fuck I am with ya!"
Rae sighed before staring up at the heavens, thinking about the big bag of bullshit she was still debating whether or not to unload. The look on Finn’s face as he saw her and Tyler in the cupboard was something she didn’t ever want to see again, the so called advice Danny Two Hats offering her only making things worse. Even if her hopeful suspicions turned out to be false, and Finn somehow didn’t storm into that cupboard because he was jealous, even if she told him everything and he didn’t feel the same…what’s the worst that could happen? As Finn had said, loads of girls fancied him, it wasn’t a rarity, so Rae would just be one of many…but the way she felt about him…she didn’t just fancy him…
"You wanna know what I think about ya?” she started, still riled up. “I do like ya…I really like ya actually; in fact, I think I kinda…love ya. You happy now?”
'You happy now’ came out in a quiver on the tail end of an otherwise aggressive spiel, such tender declarations oddly misplaced in her frustrated tone. Her 'deer caught in headlights’ expression melted into something utterly awkward, her arms dangling uselessly by her sides.
Finn stared back at her, surprise snaking into his tender expression.
“You mean it?” he said, voice low, looking Rae up and down.
Rae nodded, looking down at her hands as she lifted them slightly, eyeing the tips of her fingers.
Finn stepped forward, slowly, Rae allowing herself to glance at his face as he did so.
“Rae…” he began, making her look up at his face as he gazed at her, eyes brighter than before but still a little conflicted.
“I pulled Tyler away from ya tonight because…I hated that he was kissing ya. I don’t like the thought of anybody kissing ya.” he said in a near whisper.
“Oh right.” Rae said, mirroring his quiet tone.
Finn lifted his hand slowly to gently touch Rae’s cheek, looking at her as if she was a gem he’d found buried in a patch of earth.
He moved his head forward, meeting her lips with his own, wanting to erase any trace of Tyler and Archie from them, wanting to claim them as his, for however long she’d let him. The kiss was soft and brief, Finn moving back to look at Rae once more. The pain he’d been feeling all night was extinguished instantly by the bright happiness he found in her eyes and the flush in her cheeks as she smiled at him.
Truth or Dare
Anonymous asked: Ooo could you do one where there is a sexy party and spin the bottle is being played, Finn gets pissed off when the bottle lands on Rae (after they’ve got together?) then maybe some make up sex? thanks love xxxx
Dear Anon, apologies for the delay in writing a little something for you. This is not as long as I would like but as I am currently without laptop it is the best I could manage on the computer I commandeered for a little while
To everyone else out there, I have seen the call for smut, (and as Nico has basically given it the green light now (his ‘hot and saucy’ youtube interview)) I have a little something in mind for the next time I am with keyboard and machine x
________________________________________________________________
The vibration of the bass line in the music worked its way through my body from where I was sitting on the floor. I clutched at my can of beer, swigging from it feeling the cool nectar run down my throat. My mood was dark though, not in keeping with the merriment going on around me. This is complete bollocks. I sat watching the bottle spin round and round, the group of people encircling it all whooping and jeering as they waited for it to finish revolving. My heart felt like it must have dropped ten storeys as the inevitability of the situation hit me like a tonne of bricks. I didn’t even know who the guy was, some mate of Chops I guessed. Chants of Rae and Stainy rippled round the group. Whoever he was I hated him with the power of a thousand suns. I glanced at Rae as she stood up next to me, obviously a little unsteady on her feet. Jesus Christ, did she just lick her lips? She could as least pretend like she didn’t want to do this. I could feel the dark mist rolling in and resolved to keep my eyes steadfastly looking forward. But of course they immediately betrayed me, straying to watch as Rae leant in for the kiss. One elephant. Two elephant. I counted. Three elephant. Four… too long; too long; too long.
In one swift movement I was on my feet, I had to get away now before I fucking punched somebody, maybe the guy, or Chop for suggesting we played the stupid game of truth or dare in the first place. Behind me I could hear people shouting my name above the noise of the music. I ignored them, not stopping until I had hit the fresh cool air outside the house. I leant back against the wall there, and shakily lit a cigarette, closing my eyes I inhaled deeply.
“Finn?” I snapped my eyes back open. There she stood. My Rae. Imploring me with her eyes.
“What the hell Rae?”
“It’s just a game,” she spoke softly as if not to wake an angry beast. Trying to placate me. “It don’t mean anythin’” Try telling that to my insides which felt like they were twisting in on themselves, causing a hot burning acid to rise in my throat.
“Rae, you jus’ kissed another bloke,” I seethed at her.
“It was only a dare; Izzy licked whipped cream off Little Al.”
I could feel the strain in my hands as they balled themselves into tight fists. How could she not understand what seeing her kiss another guy had done to me?
“How’d you like it if it’d bin the other way round?” I demanded
“That’s different,” her voice was even softer, lower, trembling now.
“Bollocks is it different.”
“Every girl in there wants t’ kiss you,” she gestured towards the party.
“You wha’?”
She looked like she was going to say something, and then thought better of it, casting her eyes to the ground “never mind.”
“No c’mon Rae if you’ve got summit to say let’s ‘av it.” I challenged her, “you’re never normally short fer words.” I already knew what she was thinking though; I had tried to alleviate her concerns about other girls liking me enough times before, assure her that her jealously was unwarranted. Well fuck that this time. I wasn’t the one going around kissing other people. Game or no game.
“D’ya think Stainy wanted to kiss me?” she demanded. I wasn’t prepared to listen to her self-pity right now, launching myself from the wall I walked past her back into the house. Grabbing a can of beer I could hear Rae follow me into the house calling my name. I knew I needed to get myself under control. I suppose jealously was a new emotion for me. The darker side of being in love. And right now I didn’t know how to handle it.
I took the stairs two at a time, intent on finding a place to hide. I stumbled into the first room I came across slamming the door behind me, resting my back against it. My whole body felt tense, wound like a spring just ready to uncoil. Rae began to hammer on the other side of the door, demanding entry. With a sigh I heaved my body away from the door flinging it open for her. She shut it firmly behind her as she entered the room.
“Finn,” she spoke through gritted teeth, “it meant nothin’” Her eyes were fiery, her breathing falling heavy from the argument, her cheeks flushed, and the overwhelming urge just to kiss the life out of her hit me like a freight train. She was continuing to talk, to try and explain, “look I’m sorry ok…” But I was no longer focusing on her words, only the way her lips moved. Taking her face in my hands I plunged my tongue into her mouth. She momentarily froze at the shock before reciprocating my kiss with equal vigour. Where this sudden inexplicable desire to be close to her came from I don’t know, but the monumental wave of feelings almost floored me.
I pressed her back against the door, vaguely aware in one corner of my mind, that I didn’t want anybody walking in and disturbing us right now. I had never experienced passion like this before. Previously I had always wanted to show her how much I loved her; with gentle caresses and satisfying kisses, but this was different I felt like I wanted to claim her, brand her with my kisses and my hands. She elicited the sweetest moan I had ever heard, one which shot straight to my groin. I pushed firmly against her, I wanted her to know exactly what she did to me. I pressed my lips to her jaw as I felt her press back against me, her body responding in rhythm to mine.
Agadoo.
Finn’s leavers prom. Smutty sex warning!
—
He found her in the 6th form common room, tucked up in the corner with an open text book on her lap, working away with a frown of concentration. He’d been going out with her for just under a year, yet his heart still fluttered whenever he clocked her. He felt the pleasant warmth expand further in his chest as he approached her, the mere anticipation of seeing and talking to her enough to give him a buzz.
“Rae Rae.” he called as he neared her, Rae looking up, her quizzical expression stretching into a cheery grin.
“Hiya.” she beamed, Finn taking a seat next to her and throwing his arm around her shoulders to gather her to him, landing a kiss on her cheek before pulling away, his arm pressing against hers as they leaned into each other.
“What ya doing?” he asked.
“Bloody French. I’m so bollocks at it it’s unreal.”
Finn huffed out a chuckle, looking down at the pages with a frown of his own. He hadn’t taken any languages, never having a knack for them. Rae had taken French and she was pretty good, but then Finn couldn’t tell the difference. She sounded sexy whenever she spoke it, and sometimes he’d get her to speak the language whenever they were getting hot and heavy. He had no idea what she was saying, but it was probably along the lines of: “I would like to buy a quiche."
"Did ya see the poster on the bulletin board this mornin’? For leavers prom?” he asked, Rae nodding before her eyes widened.
“You’re not going, are ya?” she asked, her mouth quirking in amusement.
“I was thinking about it. Might be a laugh.” Finn shrugged, Rae laughing and shaking her head.
“You’re coming wimme if I do.” Finn continued, deadly serious. Rae laughed harder and Finn fought back a grin.
“What?” Finn asked, his voice high pitched. His repressed grin flashed across his face as he looked at his amused girlfriend, unable to help himself.
“Finn, you do know what 6th form leavers proms at this school are like, don’t ya? I mean, you do know how colossally lame they are…” Rae explained, still smiling incredulously.
“Yeah but…” Finn looked around, before leaning close to Rae and to say something quietly in her ear.
“…me and some of the lads have got somethin’ planned.”
“What?” Rae whispered back.
“You’ll have to wait and see, won’t ya.” Finn said as he pulled away, Rae huffing out a sigh and slouching a bit.
“I don’t have a choice, do I?” she moaned, but Finn could tell by the softness of her eyes that she was secretly happy he’d asked, or demanded, as the case had been. He shook his head slowly with a lopsided grin.
“I know it’ll probably be shit, but, we’ll make it fun. It’s not like year 11 prom, it’s a bit more casual, bit more easy going, I reckon."
"Yeah. Maybe it’ll be alright.” Rae mused, her attention back on her text book. Finn watched as she wrote a few sentences before Rae looked back up, a thought visibly entering her mind.
“Does this mean I’ll have to buy a dress?” she asked.
“Ya don’t have to. I don’t mind what ya wear.” Finn answered, truthfully. She could arrive on his arm in a bin bag for all he cared, just as long as she was there.
“No, I gotta wear a dress. All the girls that go have to wear dresses, and the guys have got to wear suits. Says so on the poster.” she reminded, jerking her head to the bulletin board.
“I can spring for ya dress if that’s what’s bothering ya…”
“No! Don’t be daft. It’s not like I need to get a ridiculous, pouffy ball gown; I’ll just get something simple. Classy.” she pondered, looking up into space as Finn scanned her profile with hidden adoration.
“What colour tie’ll you be wearing?” she asked. He hadn’t even thought about what he was going to wear. He only had one nice suit though, reserved for formal occasions. Suppose the decision would be an easy one.
“Black.” he replied.
“Black dress it is, then.” Rae said with a nod, sharing a smile with Finn before ducking her head once more.
“Right, I’ll let ya get on. You coming to the pub tonight?” Finn asked, moving to stand. Rae nodded with another smile, Finn leaning forward to give her a goodbye peck before standing and moving away.
“Bonjour.” he said, laughing as Rae did.
“It’s ‘au revoir’ you doughnut.” she chuckled out.
“Whatever.” Finn said, grinning. He kept looking back as he made his way out, Rae not moving her amused smile from his retreating form until she was out of view.
—
“Bloody hell, Finn. It’s a good job I’m wearing tights.” Finn heard Rae say from behind him. He’d turned to prop his helmet on the back of his scooter, ready to dismount and make his way to Rae’s front door, but it seemed she’d already come outside when she saw him pull up. He turned to face her, taking a few moments to fully register how gorgeous she looked. She was wearing a black dress, a floaty skirt falling just below her knees. The short sleeves were slightly opaque with a pattern embroidered into them, maybe flowers, and it was low cut enough to make the most of her more than impressive cleavage, much to Finn’s appreciation. She’d curled her hair so it fell on her face in thick ringlets, and as Finn walked closer to her, he noticed she had a bit of make-up on, grey eye shadow and mascara with some light lipstick, subtle enough for him to know Izzy had nothing to do with it.
“You look dead nice.” Finn said, frustrated at his inability to articulate her beauty in more imaginative terms. He wasn’t exactly a poet.
“Not for much longer if you have anything to do with it!” she said, jerking her head towards the scooter. Finn turned to look at it before facing Rae.
“Dad’s using the car…were you expecting a limo or something?”
“God no…” she said with a snarl. “…horse and carriage, obviously!” she joked, Finn beaming in response.
“We’ll do that for your leavers do, yeah?” he said as they moved towards the bike.
“Fine!” she sighed in mock brattishness.
Finn handed Rae her helmet. “Took me ages to do my hair…” she muttered, Finn telling her to shut up teasingly, shaking his head and smiling before putting on his own helmet. Rae hitched her skirt before mounting the scooter, the fabric of her dress gathered in her hands as she wrapped her arms around Finn.
Finn’s scooter was his favourite mode of transportation, and although he felt kind of bad for messing up Rae’s hair, he didn’t see the point of having her next to him in a limo when he could have her arms around him like this, her body pressed flush against his back and her smiling face resting on his shoulder. Nothing could beat it.
Archie wasn’t going to be there, too busy revising for exams, apparently, but Chloe had been asked to go by Davie Thomas, so they’d see her there at some point. Finn would also be meeting up with a few of his mates from P.E, some of whom he’d planned the end of year prank with.
They got to the venue - Blackstones Social Club, which was a dive to say the least. A couple of his mates, Ben and Tom, were waiting outside the building, walking over to the couple and nodding out a hello.
“You guys know Rae, yeah?” Finn said, gesturing to her. The two nodded, saying hello to her as Finn held her hand, Rae throwing them an 'Alright?’
The lads were irked to find Mr Protherow at the door, checking jackets and bags for booze and drugs. Ben and Tom went first, both sighing in annoyance with every bottle the teacher removed from them. Finn could sense Rae eye him nervously, and he squeezed her hand, sharing a smile with her as they neared Mr Jobsworth.
“Nelson, empty your pockets.” he said bluntly as they approached. He did so with his own huff of annoyance, the outer ones at least, but Mr Jobsworth wasn’t having any of it, immediately pulling his blazer open to check his inside pocket. Finn rolled his eyes as he picked out the bottle of vodka he had stashed there. The teacher turned to Rae, who spread her arms out, indicating she didn’t have a bag on her.
“Alright, you can go through. Nelson…I’ve got my eye on you.” he warned, Finn not looking at him as he lead Rae inside. They’d reached the rest of his friends in the function room, all descending into grumpy moaning, immediately.
“It’s bullshit! We’re all 18, we can have a fuckin’ drink if we want. What’s the harm?” Finn’s friend Will moaned.
“Ya need booze to make the night actually good…I mean look at this place. It’s pathetic.” Finn added, his friends murmuring in agreement. He jerked as he felt Rae tug on his arm, watched how she gestured for him to follow her. He let her lead him to a dark corner, giving him a wicked smile before gesturing down to her boobs.
“I’ve got a little present for ya…down there…” she said, eyebrows wiggling as she pointed at her cleavage. Finn felt himself smirk wickedly in response, Rae looking around him to check if the coast was clear before Finn did the same. He pushed his hand down under her dress, Rae continuing to smirk as he felt around, obviously taking his time. He felt something hard and suspiciously bottle shaped in her bra, pulling it out and inspecting it. It was a bottle of vodka, the same as the bottle previously taken from Finn. He couldn’t help but swell with pride amidst his horniness, hoping to convey his admiration in a kiss. Rae smirked against his mouth, Finn grinning as he pulled back.
“It’s just for us, though.” she said with a wink. Finn nodded, slipping it in his jacket and giving Rae one last peck before leading her back to the others. His friends’ dates had joined them, and Finn recognised a couple of them as girls he’d previously got off with. He suddenly felt worried that they’d give Rae a hard time, but then he remembered how far she’d come, how any dirty looks or comments Rae received didn’t even touch her after months of coming to terms with it. He couldn’t help but think, still brimming with pride, that none of the other girls would have thought to stash booze in their bra, or wouldn’t stand with his friends and join in with the banter.
They stood in a small circle, Rae cracking jokes with the others and making the blokes howl, his mates’ girlfriends just standing there uselessly. Finn didn’t only have a girlfriend, he had a best friend, too, the whole package - somebody entertaining and fun, game for a laugh but impossibly sexy at the same time. They had an unspoken agreement that they wouldn’t dance, not with the utter crap that was currently being doled out by a dodgy looking DJ with the mullet and a lazy eye. Finn felt lucky once again as he noticed his friends being dragged to the dance floor, looking less than pleased as they danced with a hidden grimace. Rae simply lead Finn to a the long sofa lining the back of the room, sitting next to him and taking the piss out of the proceedings.
“Look at your mates. You just know what they’re thinking, don’t ya? 'This better get me a shag.’” Rae quipped, Finn laughing as they continued to watch their fellow students.
“I swear to god, if Agadoo comes on, I’m leaving.” Rae continued, crossing her arms.
“Just you wait.” Finn said, reminding Rae about the prank he had planned, Rae smiling in excitement. She let out a laugh, Finn smiling back at her devilishly. They saw Chloe, also on the dance floor with Davie, both of them giving her a wave. She came over to them soon after.
“Didn’t think you two would be seen dead here!” Chloe said.
“Won’t be long until we actually do die, I reckon.” Rae said, and Finn suddenly felt bad. He shifted uncomfortably, looking down at the floor. Rae shuffled closer to him, the pressure of her body against his an assurance, he was sure.
“How’s it going with Davie?” Rae asked.
“S'alright. He’s a bit handsy, but he’s so fit, so I can forgive him.” she said with a wink and a smile. “You should come and have a dance!"
"Fuck no.” Rae and Finn said in unison. Chloe sighed, hands on her hips.
“Right well, I’m not gonna stand here and talk to you grumpy sods, I’m off back to the land of the living.” she said, turning on her heel and rejoining Davie.
“Rae…if you wanna go, just say, yeah? I don’t want-”
“Don’t be daft, I’m alright! I’m with you, aren’t I.” she said, leaning in to peck him. She leaned back, Finn following her and slinging his arm around her shoulder, tangling her hair in his fingers and playing with it gently, relieved that she wasn’t having a completely miserable time of it.
They continued to chat and take the piss, Rae leaving briefly to get them a couple of glasses of coke, Finn sneaking in a snifter of vodka into both before they sat and drank, continuing their easy banter. Finn’s friends came and went, glad of a brief escape. They all commented on how Finn had managed to get away with not dancing, clearly jealous, before eventually being dragged back onto the dance floor.
Suddenly, Rae and Finn both tensed as they heard the start of Babylon Zoo’s 'Spaceman’ start to play before sharing a wide grin.
“Fucking typical.” Rae commented, shaking her head. “Of course he’d have something this dire in his collection.”
“C'mon.” Finn said without hesitation, putting his glass on the table and standing, tugging at Rae’s hand.
“You’ve got to be joking.” Rae said, looking at him wide eyed. Finn shook his head. The dance floor had cleared a bit, people not sure how to dance to something so downbeat, but not slow enough to warrant a slow dance. Finn didn’t even think about it, didn’t care that they might look like knobs - it’d be a laugh.
Rae let out a chuckle before complying, Finn leading her out to the dance floor and taking her to the middle. His hands snaked under her arms, holding her upper back, Rae resting her hands on his waist as they swayed in time for the tempo, Rae grinning in amusement all the while. She shook her head.
“I can’t believe you’re making me dance to this utter toss.” she scolded.
“We can’t not. It’s our song.” Finn said, Rae letting out a hearty laugh.
“Oh god, it is isn’t it.” she said, wincing, Finn chucking before pressing their foreheads together, nuzzling her nose before pulling back, relishing her bashful grin.
“You’ll never be able to live this down, ya know.” she commented, nodding her head to his giggling friends, wolf whistling and taking the piss from the sidelines.
“Like I give a shit. School’s over now, anyway. I’m free."
"Lucky bastard.” she said, although he saw something flash into her eyes, concern, or maybe fear, he wasn’t sure. She’d buried it as soon as it occurred, pulling Finn away from the floor as the song finished, flashing a V at his friends. They sat back in their seats, still chuckling occasionally.
Finn’s attention was distracted by his mate Shaun, who was waving at him from the front door.
“I’ll be back in a sec.” Finn said, leaving Rae and going to see what was happening. It was Shaun and a couple of others who he’d planned the end of year prank with, but he suddenly felt his heart sink as he noticed the apologetic look on Shaun’s face.
“It’s not happening, mate.” he said as Finn reached him.
“Why not?” Finn asked, annoyed.
“I tried to get the goat into the van, but he got spooked and ran off. Rob caught him but he got bitten. It were pretty nasty, actually…”
Finn sighed. “Fuck’s sake. Where’s the goat now?”
Shaun shrugged. “Fuck knows. But listen…I think I’ve got a plan B.”
—
“What’s up?” Rae asked, standing as Finn approached.
“Prank’s off.” Finn mumbled.
“Fuck. What were ya gonna do?” she asked, rubbing his arm comfortingly.
“Mate o’ mine’s Dad’s got a goat. We were going to sneak him in. Sounds a bit shit when you say it out loud…” he admitted, Rae giggling.
“I’m sure it would have been hilarious.” she soothed, Finn wondering if she was being sarcastic.
“Oh fuck’s sake…really?” Finn jumped slightly at Rae’s outburst, suddenly registering that 'Agadoo’ had started to play. The crowd on the dance floor started to cheer as Rae groaned, shaking her head pitifully. Finn locked eyes with Shaun on the other side of the room, giving him a slight nod, figuring now was the perfect time to execute 'plan b’.
Finn quickly lead Rae near the exit.
“Where’re we going?” Rae asked, Finn pausing once they’d reached the door. He beckoned for Rae to look at the dance floor, counting in his mind. Rae continued to look bemused as she watched the dancers, before jolting slightly as she heard a hiss. Finn felt cold water hit him, the dancing sixth formers all screaming and shouting as the water from the fire safety sprinklers hit them. Finn smiled as he watched them panic, the song stopping as the DJ’s already dodgy equipment short circuited. He looked at Rae, who’s face was stretched into an excited grin, her eyes wide.
“Brilliant.” she said, Finn grinning before leading Rae outside before the others followed suit. He heard Mr Protherow shout his name as he made his way to leave.
“Quick!” Rae laughed as they noticed him hot on their heels, the couple running hand in hand to Finn’s scooter and putting their helmets on like lightning, the students all pouring out of the building, soaked to the skin. The livid Mr Protherow had almost reached them before Finn pulled away, the pair laughing hysterically, high on adrenaline.
Finn didn’t want the night to end. It had only just begun in his mind, and he thought of all the places he could take Rae. He wanted to go somewhere private, somewhere secluded…then he remembered, the farm he’d went to when he was looking for a farm animal to 'borrow’ a while ago…there was a hill overlooking a part of Stamford, had quite a nice view from what he could remember. The evening was still light as they were in the middle of summer, so the area was easy enough to rediscover.
There was a wall at the top of the hill, and Finn left his scooter on the side of the road on the adjoining field before leading Rae the rest of the way on foot, reaching it soon enough. Finn had been right; Stamford wasn’t the prettiest of places, granted, but you could see quite a bit of it from where they’d chosen to stop. He could see the social club in the distance, but couldn’t make out anything specific. Despite being high up, they were hidden enough to not be seen by prying eyes, the farmer who owned the land living on the other side of the woods. There wasn’t any live stock nearby, so Finn knew it wasn’t likely they’d be disturbed.
Rae began to shiver as they sat down on the grass, the warm evening air not enough to keep the chill from her. Finn took off his jacket, covering her shoulders with it and rubbing them before sitting down next to her.
“Thanks.” she smiled, resting her back against the wall. Finn followed suit, rolling up his sleeves and loosening his tie, his damp clothes clinging to his skin. Rae’s hair was all over the place, frizzy, some strands clinging to her cheeks and jaw. Her make-up had run, the ink of her mascara spread under her right eye. Finn looked at her cleavage, which was still shining slightly with moisture. He cleared his throat, feeling a throb in his groin at the sight.
“You won’t be able to pull any shit like that when you’re workin’, ya know.” Rae said, still grinning.
“You sound like my Dad.” Finn grumbled, Rae pulling his jacket tighter around her with a chuckle. Rae had asked him what his plans were a couple of months before, and he honestly had none. He had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He enjoyed sport, P.E being his best subject, but he didn’t know if he could feasibly go anywhere with that. His parents had been nagging him to go to Uni, but he didn’t want to do a course just for the sake of it. He wanted to be passionate about the subject, to at least like it if nothing else. Rae hadn’t be pressuring him, which he loved her for. She took him for who he was, not expecting anything from him. He couldn’t help but have an in built need to impress her, though, knowing she was a bright girl. If ever he wanted to prove that he could apply himself, it would be for her, the one person who didn’t demand it from him. Even if he did know what he wanted to do, the thought of leaving her made his throat constrict. He didn’t want to be in a different place to her, a different city. They didn’t spend every waking moment together as it was, but he needed to know that she was there, a few minutes walk away at least. He remembered one particularly heated fight with his parents, where they’d asked him out right if his reluctance to apply to Uni had anything to do with Rae. When he hadn’t answered, his Mum had begun talking about how 'first relationships sometimes don’t work out’ and how 'people lose touch’ and Finn wouldn’t hear any of it. His parents were really fond of Rae, he knew, but sometimes it seemed they didn’t quite comprehend how deep his feelings ran for her, how it wasn’t just some teenage puppy love he was feeling. It was the real thing, he knew it, and he would do everything in his power not to lose the girl beside him.
“It’s lovely up here.” Rae commented, shifting closer to Finn and resting their heads together, reaching out to link her hand with his.
“Sorry tonight was a bust.” Finn said.
“It wasn’t. I had a really great time - sure, the thing itself was a load of bollocks but, you were there so, it was fun.” she reasoned. Finn closed his eyes, listening to Rae’s breathing for a while, their damp hair pressed together.
“What have you got in here…?” Rae began, shifting up and frowning down into the inside pocket of Finn’s suit jacket. She reached her hand in, Finn’s heart skipping a beat as she pulled out a small blue box. He hadn’t forgotten it was there, but he didn’t want to give it to her this way. He supposed her finding it herself wasn’t so bad, as it eradicated the whole 'awkward exchange’ situation that Finn always dreaded.
Rae turned the box in her hands.
“It’s for you. Just a little something.” Finn said, Rae looking up at him tenderly before opening the box, holding her breath. Inside was a silver necklace with a small, simple heart pendant. It had put Finn in mind of her favourite earrings, and he bought it thinking it’d match them.
“I know you’re not too keen on jewellery, but I wanted to get ya something special. I dunno.” Finn said sheepishly, shrugging before looking down at his hands.
“It’s really nice.” Rae said thickly, Finn looking back at her in time to see her well up. He held his breath as she turned the pendant in her hand, noticing something on the back. She brought it closer to her eyes, squinting to get a better look before her face crumpled, a tear spilling out.
“Oh Finn…” she gushed. He’d had the pendant engraved with a simple 'R&F’. He’d bought the necklace after he had the argument with his parents. It had spooked him, he couldn’t deny it, and he wanted to get something for Rae to symbolise that he was serious, that this wasn’t just some casual, passing romance. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew that wherever he went, he wanted Rae at his side. Almost as if Rae had been reading his thoughts, she leaned over to kiss him, love and adoration pulsing from her in waves. They parted, but only slightly, Rae pressing her forehead against his. She whispered against his lips, his head cupped in her hands, her necklace cold against his cheek as he caressed her shoulders.
“I want you to be happy and I want you to do whatever you wanna do, whatever it is…but I also wanna be there. I wanna stay close by, ya know…because the thought of you leaving this town without me…"
She let out a snob, her breath shaky. Finn pulled back to kiss her cheek before pulling her to him completely, holding her close, their heads on each other’s shoulders as they embraced.
"I ain’t going anywhere without ya, Rae. It’s you and me. End of."
"Promise?” she asked wetly, holding him tighter to her. He moved the tip of his finger to the skin exposed at the top of her back, writing 'U + ME’ slowly. She pulled back, kissing him once again before gazing into his eyes, suddenly looking conflicted.
“What?” Finn asked quietly. She kept her eyes on him as she spoke, looking at him like with an expression of far off wonder.
“Sometimes, it scares me…how I feel about you. It freaks me out sometimes, because I love you so much I could just burst. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t be as happy as I am with you, that something has to go wrong, that there has to be a catch.” she shook her head, looking down. Finn knew exactly what she meant, because he felt the same. Maybe it was because he was a natural cynic, but he instinctively assumed that there had to be a downside to loving Rae, a price he had to pay for being happy.
“I know. Sometimes I think that an'all…but maybe we’ll be lucky? Maybe everything’ll be alright.” Finn mused, not having all the answers making him feel impossibly small. Rae looked at him once more, smiling, her cheeks tear streaked.
“I hope so.” she said, looking down at the necklace in her hands and moving to unclasp it. Finn took it from her once she had, kneeling up to put it on her. He stroked the skin of her neck after he did so before leaning forward to plant a kiss where his hand had been. Rae turned her head, Finn meeting her lips with his and kissing her from behind. She followed suit, the pair soon kneeling on the grass, their kiss intensifying along with their hold on one another. Finn noticed Rae’s eyes had darkened in arousal when they surfaced for air, both panting before plunging back into another kiss, Rae’s hands gripping the fabric of Finn’s shirt.
“Do you have…” Rae breathed, Finn nodding quickly before laying her down. He felt Rae unbutton his shirt as they kissed, jumping slightly as her cold hands snaked under the white cotton to caress his body.
“Sorry.” she said, the word muffled against his mouth as she jerked her hands away. He could only grunt in response, pushing her departing hands back into the folds of his shirt, his body warming up soon enough. She moaned as he hitched her dress, hands gliding across her thighs as he pushed the skirt higher and higher. He parted his lips from hers, leaving her breathing heavily as he pressed kisses on her neck and chest, taking in the goosebumped and cold flesh of her exposed cleavage between his lips. Her hands found his hair, her fingers running through it insistently, Finn’s head bobbing as her chest rose with panting breaths. He moved back to retrieve a condom from his wallet, taking the opportunity to look down at Rae, skin red from his lips and hair spread around her on the grass. She kept her eyes fixed on his in-between scanning his body. She licked her lips involuntarily as she took him in, Finn putting the condom on the ground beside them before moving to wedge his fingers underneath the hem of her tights. Rae lifted herself slightly so Finn could pull them down halfway before taking his time to remove them from her completely, stroking the skin of her legs once he had. He locked eyes with Rae before leaning down, kissing her knee, making Rae giggle, before moving to gently kiss some of her scars, his lips wandering to her inner thigh and making her tremble and moan in his grasp. He felt her tug at him, wanting him to meet her lips once more. Her kiss was near punishing, her tongue pushing into his mouth, Finn struggling to keep up momentarily before matching her rhythm, blindly removing her pants before cupping himself, already hard. Rae pressed her hand against his, making to caress him through the fabric of his trousers. Finn moved his hand, locking eyes with Rae as she rubbed him with increasing firmness. He bit his bottom lip, closing his eyes tight at the sensation, his need for her increasing, becoming too much for him to bear. He crashed his hand on top of hers as he continued to buck into her hand, guiding her to caress him firmer still despite the fear that he’d cum in his boxers.
“Rae…” he said, shaky and gruff, his breath coming out ragged, as was hers. Her expression was serious and intense, her eyes hardening. She lifted her head to meet his lips, her other hand on the back of his neck to steady him and keep him in place as she brought him to the edge. He moved his hand between her thighs, wanting to move her along as he knew he wouldn’t last long if Rae continued the way she was going. He pressed his thumb against her clit, Rae letting on a moan immediately at the pressure, pushing into him further. He thought he was going to blow but he stopped Rae’s hand just in time, pushing it above her head and pressing her wrist against the grass as he pushed a finger into her, Rae cursing and tightening around him. He wasn’t sure he could last much longer, and he could see by the need in Rae’s eyes that she wanted him just as much. He moved his hand from her wrist to unzip his trousers, Rae feeling around for the condom beside them before opening the packet, helping pull Finn’s trousers down before slipping it on him, Finn closing his eyes once more as he tried to keep control. He removed his hand from her, Rae guiding him towards her, impatient, Finn’s hands gripping the grass on either side of her head as he entered her, both groaning in unison as they released any hint of restraint. He tried to start slow, but their collective need for each other proved too much, and his pace quickened, encouraged by Rae pushing against him, her eyes practically black as she gazed up at him in unshielded adulation. Finn moved a hand to the top of her thigh, pushing her dress higher before returning his hand to the grass, his moans becoming more desperate and broken as he neared his orgasm.
“Rae…I can't…” he whispered out jaggedly, yanking the grass out of the soil as he gripped it hard. He let out a cry, pushing into her as deep as he could as his climax ripped through him, the sound of the grass ripping deafening as all his senses heightened for a split second, the feel of Rae’s hands caressing his back under his shirt burning his skin, his head flying back before hanging as he caught his breath. Rae hadn’t got there, their foreplay ensuring Finn wouldn’t last long. He pulled out as he moved back, returning his thumb to her exposed clitoris and rubbing it hard as he watched her hungrily, glad to not have any distractions as she bucked and squirmed, moaning in short, shaky bursts.
“Does that feel good, Rae?” Finn asked, still breathless, his voice deep and low. She nodded quickly, looking almost feverish as she writhed on the grass. Finn could feel himself hardening all over again at the sight, licking his lips as he looked down at her.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” he breathed, not sure if Rae heard him. His orgasms always loosened his tongue, and he could better verbalise his feelings when his emotional instincts reached the surface and his inhibitions were dramatically lowered.
Her moans were rising in volume and length, and he could see her physically force herself to open her eyes and look up at him, knowing how much she liked to watch him as she came, just like he loved to watch her. He felt her tighten around his thumb, Rae arching her back as she called out, covering her mouth with her hand. Finn pulled it away with his free hand quick as a flash, linking their fingers together as he leaned over her further, Rae’s grip on him painful as she rode it out. She relaxed onto the grass, Rae’s grip slackening as her cries echoed away, Finn removing his hand and leaning forward to kiss her, Rae cupping his cheeks as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, firmly. He parted from her, moving away and kneeling, removing the condom and tucking himself away, sharing a sheepish smile with Rae, who let out a dazed chuckle, sitting up. She had grass in her hair, which was now wilder still. She stood and pulled up her tights with a groan as Finn buttoned his shirt before sitting back in his previous position. He leaned over to grab his jacket, damp from water and sweat. He breathed it in briefly when Rae was looking away to adjust herself, knowing that any future formal events he attended will be a lot more enjoyable with this memory under his belt. He pulled out his tobacco from his jacket and began rolling a cigarette, Rae sitting down beside him with a contented sigh, linking her arm with his and resting her head on his shoulder. He smiled as he leaned into her, could feel the smile eminating from her despite being unable to see it. Night had fallen fully as they had sex, neither of them noticing. Finn smoked next to Rae, both in silence, just enjoying the post orgasm glow. He could see her adjust the necklace from the corner of his eye before she sighed.
Fuck jobs. Fuck uni. She was what it was all about. Rae made him happy, happier than he’d ever thought possible. He didn’t know where he was headed and he didn’t really care; the only thing he knew was, if Rae was around, he’d be alright.
Finn fanned out the files on the break room table, a pen wedged between his teeth. He’d been trying to quit smoking for what seemed like the hundredth time, always finding himself subconsciously nibbling on something cigarette shaped despite using more patches and chewing more gum than you could shake a stick at. He couldn’t help but be crankier than normal when he was in ‘quit mode,’ - he’d been smoking since he was 14 years old, after all - and his assistant Ash, who was currently making the pair of them some coffee, seemed to be at the brunt of his foul mood swings, mostly. Finn thought it was lucky, in that case, how laid back Ash was - he seemed like a hippy, stoner type with baggy stained clothes, long shaggy hair and a full beard. Finn liked Ash, and he didn’t like many people. Finn’s assistant before him had been very efficient, but it became clear during the few months she worked for him that her interest in Finn was less than professional. After a couple of adamantly rebuffed attempts to seduce him and a friendly warning from Finn’s fiancé (if Rae threatening to “punch her pretty white teeth in” could be considered 'friendly’) she’d been fired, Rae insisting she help Finn pick the next assistant who turned out to be, unsurprisingly, a straight male. Now Finn had about a month of backed up schedules to arrange, the 28 year old working as a freelance recording engineer in the process of tacking a three year contract with Zed One records.
He looked up at the clock with a sigh before turning his attention back to the spread out folders, Ash wandering over, the mugs clinking as he placed them on the table.
“Cheers.” Finn mumbled, removing the pen from his lips and leaning on his knuckles, taking the lid off with one hand and drawing a line through a date error.
“Got nothing special planned tonight then?” Ash asked, opening up a tin of biscuits and sniffing the contents quizzically.
“Nah. I need to stay out'o'the flat tonight, so I thought this would be a good excuse.” Finn said, pulling out a chair and opening one of the folders, looking it over as he sat down. Ash threw a jammy dodger in his mouth before moving to sit opposite Finn, crunching all the while. Finn didn’t know what annoyed him more, the sound or the crumbs in his beard. He glanced up at his assistant, clenching his jaw and throwing him another folder impatiently.
“Why’s that then?” Ash asked, smacking his lips together, completely oblivious to his boss’ aggravation.
“It’s Rae’s hen do. She’s got her mates round for pre drinks as we speak.” Finn said, stifling a sigh.
“You know, she doesn’t strike me as the type of woman who’d want to go on a hen do, with the learner plates and limos and all that bullshit.” Ash commented, Finn easing up a bit now he’d swallowed his biscuit. Maybe the patch was actually starting to work…
“I think she wants to keep it low key, I dunno. But yeah, she’s not into that kind of stuff.” …but Chloe and Izzy had arranged the whole thing, both relishing the thought of arranging a hen do in swanky London. Just as Finn said the words, he had a feeling it’d be just as Ash predicted, complete with a big white limo, tequila slammers, cock straws, a stripper - he’d witnessed enough hen dos when he was doing bar work in his early twenties to know how they went. A vision of Rae licking whipped cream off a muscle man’s six pack entered his mind, making him feel a bit sick. He focussed back on the task at hand, trying to quell his speculations. Corrie Abbott, October 20th-24th, The Valleys, August 15th - 20th…
Rae’s weekend with Tix would have probably been more up her street, Finn thought. She’d gone to visit her for a girl’s night in, just the two of them, as Tix hated London and wasn’t a fan of travelling. Rae had loved it, as did Tix apparently, and Rae hoped Tix would be able to make it to the wedding as it would be held on the outskirts of London as opposed to slap bang in the middle of the city she found so overwhelming.
Finn was brought out of his internal procrastination by the sound of his mobile ringing. He pulled it out of his jeans pocket, checking the caller display with a confused smile before answering.
“Alright?”
“Hiya. Just letting you know we’re off out now. You still at work?” Rae’s voice buzzed, the sound of female chatter accompanying her.
“Yeah. It’ll probably be a late one tonight. You having fun?”
“Yeah! All the girls are here…girls, say hello!” Finn held the phone away from his ear slightly with a wince as the sound of Rae’s friends collective whoops and hollers entered the otherwise silent room. Ash huffed out a chuckle, Finn rolling his eyes with a smile before pressing the phone back against his ear when he was sure it was safe.
“Thanks for that.”
“You on your own?”
“Nah, got Ash wimme.” Without missing a beat, Ash let out a high pitched “Woo!” of his own, Finn and Rae laughing in unison.
“Nice one…don’t keep him up too late. He’s not a sad old man like you.”
“Did you ring me for a reason or did you just want to take the piss?”
“I just wanted to tell you I was off out, that’s all. I don’t know when I’ll be home. Oh, and I guess I wanted to tell ya I love ya, I suppose.” Finn could hear Rae’s teasing smile through the phone, a few of her friends letting out 'Awws’ amidst their giggling banter, overhearing her despite her attempts to hush her voice.
“I love you too. Have a good one, yeah?”
“Thanks. See ya later.”
Finn’s own goodbye was masked by her friends all shouting “Bye Finn!” before he clicked his phone shut with a whistling breath.
“I think you made the right decision to work late.” Ash commented, Finn nodding in agreement.
“Just a bit.”
The two men carried on working in silence, Finn’s lingering amusement fading the more he got stuck in, Ash putting on some music to accompany them. Three hours had passed before Finn got another call, deciding to take it outside so as to not interrupt Ash whilst he was 'in the zone’ as he called it. He went out on the fire escape, bracing himself.
“Alright Rae?”
“Hello?” Rae’s voice was obscured by thumping music, but even though he could barely hear her, he could tell she was merry.
“Rae? Is everything alright?”
“Finn? You there?”
“Yeah I’m here Rae…what ya calling me for?”
“I can’t fuckin’ hear…Finn? Nah Izzy he’s not…I can’t hear-”
“Fuckin’ hell.” Finn mumbled as he was cut off, making his way back inside, trying his best to ignore the fag butts in the ashtray on the windowsill. She called back half an hour later, Finn making his way back outside with a sigh.
“Sorry Ash.” he said, Ash waving his hand dismissively, indicating he was fine.
“Rae?”
“Finn!” she yelled happily, making him smile despite himself, Rae obviously managing to find a quiet place.
“What do ya want?” he chuckled out.
“Just wanted to tell ya that…” The 'that’ was drawn out amidst her slurring and she paused for a few beats afterwards, considering her choice of phrase.
“…you are the sexiest, most gorgeous bastard alive and I don’t give a shit what bloke Chloe’s got lined up for me, he won’t be half as stunning as you, alright?”
Finn laughed, imagining what state Rae was in. She hadn’t eaten a lot during the day, and it was clear she’d made short work of getting pissed.
“Well, thanks for that. Good to know.”
“Don’t worry Finn, the stripper’s for me really, Rae won’t get a look in.” Chloe interjected from over Rae’s shoulder, also slurring a bit.
“I don’t even want him Chloe! You can have him for all I c-care…” Rae hiccoughed, Izzy whooping from somewhere unknown.
“Glad you’re having fun, but listen, I gotta get back to work…”
“Are you working tonight?”
“Chloe? Where’s Rae gone?”
Chloe giggled. “Dunno. Think she needs to piss or something.”
“Jesus Christ…” Finn said under his breath. “Alright well, I’m gonna go now Chloe, ok? Keep an eye on Rae for me, yeah?”
“Will do. Bye.” Chloe chimed, obviously not turning off the phone.
“Chloe…” Finn called, trying to get her attention.
“How the fuck do you work this? Rae! Rae how do you turn-”
Finn clenched his jaw in annoyance, his need for a cigarette increasing as he clicked his phone closed yet again, strongly considering turning it on silent, even though he knew that wasn’t an option. He knew Rae was a big girl who could handle herself, but part of him always worried about her whenever she went out without him. It was only natural, he supposed, and she admitted to worrying about him too. It would be Finn’s stag do the week after. Finn considered calling Rae throughout his own night in revenge, part of him wondering if he’d just end up doing it anyway.
Another hour passed before the phone rang once more, Finn answering at the table as Ash was in the toilet. He was en route back as Finn answered it, putting it on speaker phone so he could 'share the burden.’
The only sound that came through was a song Finn recognised, but couldn’t place the name of. He knew it was a pop tune, and as it was his business to keep track of popular music, no matter how much he couldn’t stand some of it, he couldn’t think who the artist was for the life of him. He threw Ash a withering look, holding the phone limply in his hand.
“♫ Ain’t no other man can stand up next to you, ain’t no other man on the planet knows what to do, you’re the kinda guy a girl finds in a blue moon, you got soul, you got class, you got style, you’re badass… ♪”
“Christina Aguilera. My ex girlfriend was mad about her.” Ash groaned, Finn only furrowing his brow further. It rang a bell…
Ash started to act out 'Genie in a Bottle’ singing parts of it and throwing Finn some Bollywood style dance moves to try and drill the point home. Finn nodded slowly, his memory jogged.
“Promise me you won’t ever do that again?” Finn said, Ash laughing before giving a staunch salute.
The two men jumped as Rae’s voice suddenly boomed over the phone.
“That’s how I feel about you Finn…ain’t no other man but you, baby!” Rae yelled before whooping.
“She wouldn’t be caught dead listening to that if she was sober.” Finn assured.
“…and I tell ya something else, that stripper’s cock was nothing compared to yours-”
Finn scrambled to turn off the speaker phone, his cheeks flushing as Ash raised his eyebrows with a smirk. Rae had nearly finished her disjointed thought by the time Finn pressed the phone to his ear.
“…chuppa chup lolly stick.”
“Rae! Rae can ya hear me?”
“Anyway, look I’m gonna go now because Liv’s just brought over some more shots so I’m gonna drink some of those now…”
“…Rae, put ya tits away you slag!” Izzy chimed in, Rae laughing hysterically with the others.
Finn mentally gauged the distance to the nearest off licence. Just one ciggie, just this once…my wasted fiancé’s fuck knows where with her breasts hanging out…I can at least have one…
It became clear that Rae forgot she was on the phone altogether, resuming her drunken chatter with her friends. Finn hung up, massaging his temples with his thumb and forefinger. He looked at the clock: 1:45am
“When did you start today, Ash?” Finn asked, leaning back and stretching.
“10.” he responded, still looking down
“Jesus Christ! Go home. I can finish this.” Finn said, eyes wide.
“It’s alright, I don’t mind…”
“…nah mate, you’ve done more than enough. Take the day off tomorrow as well, yeah?”
“You sure?”
“Yeah! I think you’re on illegal time now. You need some down time or I’ll get arrested.” Finn joked, Ash nodding.
“Thanks Finn. Good luck with…you know.” Ash said as he stood, gesturing to his abandoned mobile phone with a sympathetic smile. Finn threw him a lopsided grin.
“Cheers. I think I’ll need it.”
Finn managed to refrain from getting any cigarettes as the night rolled on, instead substituting his cravings with drinking his bodyweight in coffee. He was relieved to see he was making progress with the task, despite having several interruptions, but he couldn’t deny that he felt anxiety snake into his system when the clock struck 3. It was probably because he was overtired, the words on the sheets in front of him all blurring together and compressing, but for whatever reason, he suddenly felt the need to see Rae and check if she was alright. He managed to distract himself for another hour - mainly by rearranging the cupboards in the break room and making a toilet roll tower in the bathroom - until his phone rang once again, Finn sagging in instinctive relief as he picked it up. He predicted that Rae would be practically incoherent. He was wrong - it wasn’t Rae at all.
“Finn? You there?”
It was Chloe. Finn felt his throat constrict, suddenly anxious.
“Yeah Chloe, it’s me…is everything ok?”
“I think you better come here…Rae’s asking for ya.” She said, slurring slightly but sounding more sober than she had a few hours before. Finn thought he heard a sob, and it gradually dawned on him that Rae was crying in the background.
“Is she ok? What’s happened?”
“I dunno…we were coming out of Pacha and she just started crying. She wants to see ya.”
Finn could hear Izzy in the background offering wobbly words of comfort amidst her own drunkenness. “Chloe’s on the phone to him now Rae…he’ll be here in-in a little bit…”
Finn managed to glean where they were from Chloe’s less than helpful instructions, (“We’re by loads of water.”) figuring they were somewhere near Pacha. Finn locked up the studio, slinging on his jacket and getting to his motorbike before setting off. When he got to the club, he wandered around for a good ten minutes before spotting a few figures by the side of the River Thames, the three women all wedged on a park bench becoming clearer as Finn approached them.
“Here he is!” Izzy said cheerily next to Rae, Chloe turning to face Finn from the other side of her. All three girls had confetti and glitter in their hair, flashing hearts on springy antennas swaying in the breeze from their heads, all smeared make-up and tutus. Chloe and Izzy moved from either side of Rae, stumbling towards the railings, Chloe bare foot. Finn went to sit next to Rae, who was no longer crying, but staring at an L plate in her hands, expression vacant.
“Rae? I’m here now.” Finn said, Rae sniffing, her face crumpling as she began to cry anew.
“Hey…” Finn began, brow furrowing in concern as he held one of Rae’s hands in his, glancing at the two women leaning over the thames, standing on the ledge and looking at the sights.
“…what’s up with ya? You were 'aving a right laugh earlier on…” Finn continued, Rae’s shoulders shaking as she sobbed, obviously exhausted along with it.
“Did something happen?” Finn tried, Rae shaking her head, eyes clamped shut.
“What if it’s shit?” Rae said suddenly, looking up at Finn, eyelashes soaked and mascara everywhere.
“Wha-…what if what’s shit?” Finn asked, trying to ignore Chloe and Izzy, who had suddenly burst into a rendition of Enrique Iglesias’ 'Hero.’
“This…this right here…what’s about to happen…” Rae said, words coming out slow and spaced out.
“Rae…”
“You haven’t even sold your wild oats!” Rae suddenly exclaimed, eyes wide. Finn suppressed a laugh, the nonsense Rae was coming out with funny despite her distress.
“What’s that got to do with anything?” Finn asked, not bothering to correct her error.
“It’s got everything to do with everything!” she declared, flapping her limbs before wiping her cheeks roughly, smearing her make-up more. She addressed the rest of her rant to the space in front of her, only glancing at Finn a few times with glazed eyes.
“…and…and…what if the sex becomes bad? That can sometimes happen, ya know. People get hitched all the time and then suddenly the sex just…” Rae made a raspberry noise, frowning in concentration as she formed a thumbs down, Finn unable to suppress his chuckle.
“It’s not funny! What if we stop shagging altogether? What if you can’t get ya thing up anymore?” she asked, pointing vaguely at Finn’s crotch, Finn unable to control his rapidly increasing hysterics.
“Stop laughing ya twat! Sex with you is like…” she stuck her tongue out, frowning at her outstretched hands as she visibly counted her fingers.
“…the third most favourite thing I like doing w'ya! I don’t want it to go away!”
“What’s the first two?” Finn asked through his amused grin, surprised it didn’t hit the number one spot. Rae shook her head, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. When it became clear Rae wasn’t going to say anything more, Finn sighed, sidling up to her, still smiling. He slung an arm around her, Rae leaning into him slowly with another sniff.
“I tell ya what, I promise that the sex will never stop - even if I have to start popping back viagra like they’re Skittles, we’ll still be at it for a long time, so don’t worry.”
Rae only hummed in response, and Finn thought she might have been falling asleep on his chest. He shook her gently, Rae coming to herself, but not by much.
“Is she alright now?” Izzy asked, bouncing over.
“Yeah she’s alright. Needs sleep.” Finn responded, pulling out his mobile to call a cab. Afterwards, he stood, propping Rae up in his arms, her head lolling back. He slowly lead her to the nearest road, Chloe and Izzy following them, Chloe holding her stilettos.
“I don’t know what brought it on. She seemed to be having so much fun all night, didn’t she Chlo.” Izzy assured, Chloe nodding slowly.
“She’s just pissed is all.” Finn said, speculating that stress might have had something to do with it too. Finn wondered what she’d meant by “You haven’t even sewn your wild oats!” having a sneaking suspicion that this had been the reason she’d started crying. He longed to question her, but knew she’d probably forgotten all about her outburst as she stood limply on the kerb, drooling on Finn’s shoulder.
The cab arrived, all four of them piling in, Chloe and Izzy trying to help load Rae in as best they can, but both of them being pretty useless between them. Izzy started chatting animatedly to the cab driver whilst Chloe phoned her boyfriend, Rae starting to snore as Chloe put on her best sickly sweet voice, doling out all the saccharin slush that turned Finn’s stomach. “I love you so much…yeah I know it’s 5 in the morning but I wanted to hear your voice…thought you had work as 6 anyway?”
Before long, the cab pulled up to Chloe and Izzy’s hotel. The two women both kissed Rae goodbye before they left the cab.
“Thank you girls…I love ya…” Rae mumbled, eyes practically closed as she attempted to sit upright. Chloe and Izzy murmured their 'I love you’s,’ both kissing Finn’s cheeks afterwards, leaving lipstick marks there. Finn watched as they stumbled towards the hotel reception arm in arm, Rae’s head lolling back on his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his, snuggling closer to him.
“When’s the big day then?” the cab driver asked.
“In two weeks.” Finn replied, gently leaning Rae’s head back as it lolled forward, her grip on him slackening as she fell further into sleep.
“Not long now then. You nervous?”
“Not really. I know it’s expected for the groom to be bricking it but…I feel pretty calm.” Rae seemed to be freaking out more than he was, if anything.
“Just you wait. It hasn’t sunk in for you yet. I remember the night before my first wedding, I was climbing the walls.”
“First wedding?” Finn asked, Rae grumbling next to him, completely oblivious to their conversation.
“That’s right. Been married three times, if ya can believe it.” he said.
“Jesus.” Finn mumbled, Rae jolting out of place as they went over a speed bump. Finn held her steady, cupping her face in his hand as he resettled her. She seemed out of it.
“Yeah. Never again. Something changes once you tie the knot…I can’t describe what it is, but it does. It’s like, everything you thought was so great about the girl at first just seems a bit…I dunno, crap once you’ve shackled yaself to her. I guess it’s cos you lose a bit of your freedom or something. It’s almost…what’s the word…paranormal, when it happens.”
“That’s good to know.” Finn drawled sarcastically, praying for the ride to be over as soon as humanly possible. What the fuck’s this guy’s deal, telling an engaged couple about how shit marriage is?
When his prayers were answered, the cab driver helped Finn get Rae out of the car, the man propping her against her fiancé, Finn resuming his grip on her. He thanked the guy before paying him.
“All the best to ya both.” he chimed before driving off. Don’t need your blessing, thanks mate, not with your track record.
Getting Rae up the stairs to their flat was the trickiest part, Finn having to practically drag her at points. She would no doubt wake up to find carpet burns on her legs. He got her up the last few steps with a groan, Rae singing softly as Finn moved her across their living room towards their bedroom.
“♫ Ain’t no other man…grand stand…on next to you, ain’t no other man, on plan…knows what you do…you’re the kinda guy a girl fires in ugly ooo…♪”
The springs on the bed squeaked as Finn dropped her onto the mattress. He took off her shoes before pulling the hair out of her mouth, tucking it behind her ear and covering her with the duvet. He nipped to the kitchen to get their big salad bowl, bringing it into the bedroom and putting it on the floor next to the bed. Just in case.
As he moved away, Rae reached out and made a lazy grab at his wrist. Finn caught her hand, kneeling beside her and placing his other hand on her head, stroking her hair gently as her eyes opened slightly.
“I don’t think I’m gonna vomit tonight.” she whispered.
“Good, but if you do feel like you’re gonna go, tell me, yeah?”
Rae nodded slowly against the pillow before closing her eyes once more. Finn leaned in to kiss her nose, Rae crinkling it with a lazy smile.
“Night then.” Finn whispered.
“Night.” Rae replied, her breathing becoming deeper. As Finn looked at his fiancé, her face illuminated by the light blue of the dawn coming through their window, he couldn’t imagine loving her any more than he did at that moment. He’d been in love with her for over a decade, yet he couldn’t keep Rae’s slurred fears out of his mind, as well as the unsettling omen from their cab driver. He looked at her left hand, tucked under her chest and resting on the mattress by her neck. He imagined a silver band joining the engagement ring already on her ring finger. Would things really change? Would his feelings for her diminish suddenly…he couldn’t see it himself, but what if she fell out of love with him? What if their union proved to be the final nail in their coffin? He wasn’t sure he could handle losing Rae, to have her stop loving him.
Finn felt his chest constrict, his breathing becoming shallower. The rational part of his brain kept telling him he was tired and stressed from work, the eventful evening doing a lot to warp his mind…yet the rational part of his brain wasn’t the most prominent. Fuck it.
He shot up, pacing to the living room before kneeling on the floor in front of the sofa. Looking underneath it, he reached in and felt around blindly, finally making purchase on a small cardboard box, already feeling calmer at the mere feel of it in his hand. Ripping it from the bottom of her sofa (it had been cellotaped underneath) he walked to the kitchen, opening the windows before turning on the stove, lighting his cigarette and inhaling deeply, his eyes closing in ecstasy. That’s what it’s all about. With each savoured drag, he felt his anxiety lessen, his erratic thoughts slowing down and beginning to streamline. As the paper burned and the ash fell away, his fears decreased and reason won out. Their story, his and Rae’s, it wasn’t like any other story. They’d been together for years, were meant for each other, a fact obvious to everyone including them. Above everything else, Finn wanted to make Rae his wife, to be able to refer to her as such to the people he met, to claim her for his own and to become hers by the same token. He wasn’t about to let the unfounded, drunken fears of his fiancé and the tale of woe from a complete stranger make him lose it.
If this was his bout of wedding jitters, he was a jammy sod, because it lasted all of 5 minutes. He thought the cigarette had done a lot to keep it at bay, but then he wondered if the fears would reemerge nearer to the big moment. He shook his head, stubbing out his cigarette before closing the windows, the sun already peaking out on the horizon. He walked to the bedroom, taking off his shirt en route and unbuckling his trousers. Stripping down to his boxers, he slipped under the duvet behind the sleeping Rae, who was practically falling off her side of the bed. He gently pulled her towards him, wrapping his arm around his waist. He buried his nose in her hair, which smelled like cigarette smoke, dry ice and perfume. She writhed in his arms slightly, backing herself into him further. Finn couldn’t predict the future…neither of them could. They just needed to take things day by day, one step at a time. Step 1: Sleep until 2pm. Step 2: Shower (together) - wash Rae’s hair, suffer her hungover wrath. Step 3: Fry up and painkillers…
Take things as they come and ignore the neigh sayers; a philosophy Finn could definitely work with.
TW: Sexy happenings.
—
Summer may have been coming to a close, but it didn’t stop the boys from wanting to head to Uffington and swim in the river there. There was fuck all to do in Stamford, and they were getting tired of always being inside, or just sitting around Rutland or the local parks. It was Chop who suggested it at first, eager to get back into the water since Chloe’s pool party. He was also eager to get Izzy back into a bikini, sure to appreciate the sight all the more now she was his girlfriend.
“I’m not swimming though, you can forget it. It’s so manky in that water.” she said with a grimace when Chop pitched it to the gang in the pub.
“Don’t be a fanny! It’s good for ya! Builds up ya immune system; I read it in a text book.” Chop reasoned, Izzy only rolling her eyes.
“C'mon Chop, Izzy’s right. That river’s so shit high they’ll be classifying it as a danger zone any day now. The only people who swim in it are tramps and dead bodies.” Rae agreed, the gang chuckling.
“It’s not that bad, Rae. We used to swim in there all'time when we were kids.” Finn said from beside her.
“Glad you don’t have any weird deformities in that case.” she said with a grin. Finn glanced around at his friends before pulling Rae to him, pressing his lips to her ear.
“You haven’t seen everything yet.” he whispered, Rae flushing.
“What did he say?” Chloe asked, Rae shaking her head.
“Nothing.” but she couldn’t hide the smirk from appearing on her face, Finn grinning wickedly at her side.
Whether the girls liked it or not, it had been decided, and the next day they all headed down there, Chop, Izzy, Archie and Chloe in Chop’s car, Finn and Rae on Finn’s scooter. The gang all had loose fitting clothes on with their swimsuits underneath, Rae wearing long shorts, her Aunt Jackie’s old shell suit jacket and a vest, the air ballooning the silky material of the jacket as they rode, blowing up around her arms like a parachute. The rest of the gang were already there when the pair arrived, Chop able to drive near a secluded spot by the riverbank next to the adjoining woods, Finn parking alongside him.
“Race ya in!” Chop yelled after he’d exited the car, ripping off his shirt and pulling down his trackies, Finn giving Rae a quick peck on the cheek before following suit. They could have been little boys in that moment, their youth pulsing from them as Finn pulled Chop back mid run, the two teens wrestling and laughing, Chop slipping across the mud on the bank onto his back and pulling on Finn’s ankle from the floor, making him stumble and curse through his laughter. The girls and Archie looked on amused, Finn managing to break free and leap in first, Chop scrambling up and cannon balling in his wake.
“You not going in?” Rae asked Archie, who suddenly looked uncomfortable.
“Er, maybe later. ” he said dismissively.
“Don’t feel like ya have to. You don’t have to try and impress us or anything.” Rae said with a kind smile.
“Well, in that case, I ain’t going in there if ya paid me.” he said with a grin, Rae laughing.
“It doesn’t look that bad.” Izzy commented, moving closer to the edge and looking into the water, the ripples from Chop and Finn reaching the bank as they swam a few laps.
“Is that a dead rat?” Rae joked, Izzy squealing and running towards back towards the car, her shoulders pressed against her ears.
“What’s happened?” Chop shouted, making to swim towards them.
“Nothing! I just made a bad joke.” Rae called back, Izzy still shivering as Chloe gave her an end of the tartan blanket she’d brought to spread out on the grass.
“Impossible m'dear.” Chop responded with a grin, Rae blowing him a kiss, laughing as Chop caught it.
Archie grabbed Chop’s brother’s boom box from the boot, placing it on the blanket and putting on some music, Rae passing everyone a beer from the cooler they’d brought before sitting down, Izzy and Chloe already in their bikinis, rubbing sun cream on themselves. It was a hot day despite spring being close by, Rae feeling brave enough to take off her shell suit jacket, the vest she had on the furthest she was willing to go in terms of revealing clothes. Her shorts reached just below her knees, and she’d hoped to catch some sun on her shins.
Rae couldn’t keep her eyes off Finn, the muscles in his back contracting as he swam, his wet skin glistening under the sun. Chloe said something she didn’t quite hear, Archie pressing up underneath Rae’s chin to close her gaping mouth. Only then did she snap out of it.
“What?” she sniped with an annoyed frown, Archie laughing and jerking her head towards Chloe, Rae turning her attention to her, expression unmoving.
“I was trying to talk to ya, gawm.” she said, taking a sip of beer.
“Sorry. I was distracted.” Rae said with a smirk, leaning back on her hands and returning her attention to Finn, who was laughing with Chop over something unknown. Chloe rolled her eyes.
“Don’t be one of those girls, Rae.”
“What do you mean by those girls?” Rae asked, frowning.
“Yaknow the types, the ones who get a boyfriend and suddenly their friends might as well not exist.” Chloe responded, adjusting her bikini strap.
Rae physically shook under the effort of holding in the ultimate scoff. Chloe’s hypocrisy was earth shattering at times, Rae knowing from experience how she’d take a back seat whenever Chloe hooked up with someone. Sometimes she wouldn’t even be in the car at all. She hoped her silence would make her drop her line of thought, but whether it did or not was irrelevant, because Finn and Chop were pulling themselves out and moving to join them, Rae getting a towel ready for Finn and relishing the sight of him approaching. It could have been playing in slow motion.
Finn took the towel from Rae with a mumbled thanks, sitting beside her and drying himself off, Archie handing him a beer. Finn glanced at the girls as they put sun cream on each other’s backs. Rae followed his gaze.
“Can I have that after you’ve done with it, Iz?” she asked, Izzy nodding and handing her the bottle. Rae got to work with rubbing the cream over her arms, Finn leaning back and watching her, Rae oblivious as she chatted to the other three. He particularly enjoyed the sight of her rubbing scream on her chest, Rae catching on to him as she did so, meeting his not so subtle gaze and feeling her face flush. They shared a smile, Finn wordlessly taking the bottle from her and moving to kneel behind her, Rae trying hard to keep her cool as Finn squeezed some sun cream into his hand before rubbing it on her back and shoulders, massaging it in and taking his time. Rae let the others do the talking for a while, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end and her body riddled with goosebumps, despite the heat. Finn fought a smirk, never getting tired of his effect on her. He put some cream on his own body afterwards and it was Rae’s turn to watch him, glad of the gang ceasing their conversation for a little while.
“D'ya mind?” Finn asked, his eyebrow quirking as he handed Rae the bottle. She wanted to make a joke, but the urge was buried by her heart skipping. He laid down in front of her after she’d shook her head, resting his head on his folded arms as Rae straddled him. Finn wriggled slightly, praying he didn’t get a boner. He tried not to visualise how she was looking right then, tried to keep his mind off the fact her crotch was now pressed down against the back of his thighs.
“All this display needs is 1970s porn music.” Archie quipped, Finn turning his head to face him before flipping him the bird, Rae huffing out a laugh. Rae loved Finn’s back, relished the feel of his muscles underneath her fingers, the muscles she’d been admiring mere minutes before. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to the thrill touching him gave her, the knowledge that he was her boyfriend a novelty that she doubted would ever diminish. If the cream hadn’t have ran out, Rae would have happily stayed in that position for the rest of the day, as would have Finn. After she’d got off him, he sat back next to her, the gang chatting and drinking the afternoon away. Chop and Finn made to head back into the river after a couple of hours, both of them trying to persuade Archie to join them.
“C'mon, ya pussy! There’s nout wrong wi'it!” Chop declared, Archie raising his hands in front of him as he refused. Big mistake. Finn and Chop both grabbed an arm each, yanking him upwards and wrestling to grab a leg each before running towards the river, Archie thrashing and yelling whilst the girls laughed hysterically at the sight.
After chatting to the girls for a while longer, Rae left them to wander to the edge of the lake. She didn’t want to go in entirely, but she didn’t see the harm in just dipping her feet in. She sat herself down on the edge, submerging her legs and kicking them slightly, swirling the cool water with her shins. Chop had got out to sit next to Izzy, Finn following him for a while before spotting Rae. He swam towards her, pulling himself up and wrapping his arms around her waist, bobbing up and down slightly between her open legs. An unspoken veil of tension fell between them, as his face was very near to her crotch. He kept looking up at her, the self imposted restraint to not glance down apparent in his expression. She tried to break the tension with a forced cough, fighting it more with a smile, which he mirrored.
“Having fun?” she asked, stroking his shoulders.
“Would be more fun if you came in.” he said, Rae shaking her head, giggling as Finn pouted.
“I’d much rather sit on the side lines and enjoy the view, if it’s all the same to ya.” she said.
“Why only look when you can sample the goods?” Finn said, raising his eyebrows with a cheeky grin. Rae threw her head back, her laugh echoing around the trees.
“You daft sod.” she smiled, suddenly tensing as Finn landed an adoring kiss on her belly. She’d not quite got used to his attention there, Finn only recently beginning to feel comfortable enough to stroke her stomach as they made out or cuddled. Rae couldn’t hide her grimace at first, finding it difficult to imagine how he could hold her fat flesh in his hands and still be turned on, but he’d persevered despite her protests. In Finn’s mind, her stomach was a part of her, and everything about Rae was gorgeous to him. He didn’t even think about it until he saw her reaction. She would just have to get used to it, he figured, because he wasn’t going to avoid it altogether. He didn’t want to avoid anything to do with Rae. He wanted all of her, every little bit, if she was willing to give it to him.
“Rae…can you hold my glasses?” Archie asked, swimming towards them and holding his spectacles aloft.
“Course.” she smiled, taking them from him. Finn kissed Rae’s knee before swimming away, rejoining Chop.
“It’s not bad in here, yaknow. Hardly any sewage.” Archie said with a grin, Rae laughing.
“Well, if my gorgeous slice of a boyfriend can’t persuade me to come in, you’ve got no chance.” she said, Archie scoffing.
“How’s that going, by the way?” he asked.
“Heavenly!” she gushed, pressing her shoulders against her ears.
“Alright, alright, don’t rub it in.” Archie moaned, Rae giggling before checking her friends were far enough away to properly continue the conversation.
“So er…I take it things didn’t go very well with that Phil guy, then?” she asked, Archie pulling himself up to sit next to her and grimacing.
“It was like snogging a goldfish.” he said, before melting into his best impression of one. He shivered dramatically as she laughed, before giving him a sympathetic smile.
“Sorry.” she offered, Archie sighing.
“It’d just be nice to…you know, have a boyfriend to show off, out in the open.” Archie lamented, Rae shifting closer to him and pressing her shoulder against his comfortingly.
“You will, eventually. When you’re ready to tell everyone the truth.” she assured, Archie smiling appreciatively.
“I think Chloe’s feeling the same - we’re like the third and fourth wheel, she and I.” he sighed, kicking the water.
“Yeah well, I’m not going to start feeling guilty now I’m finally happy w'someone, you know?” Rae said, quoting Kester from her last session. Just enjoy it, Rae. You’ve got enough on your plate about without worrying about how Chloe feels about you and Finn. She’ll get used to it, so you just need to carry on doing what feels natural.
“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, Rae. I’m happy you’re happy, honest…and as for Finn, I can’t remember seeing him this happy before. It’s really nice.” Archie observed. Rae felt her chest sear, her stomach tickling pleasantly.
“Anyway, I better head back in. Might find myself a hot merman or something…”
“…and there’s me thinking you’ve had your fill of fishy men this week.” Rae quipped, Archie laughing as he pushed himself back into the river. Rae watched him swim away, still smiling fondly before standing, moving to give Izzy Archie’s glasses.
Something caught her eye, and she wandered over to a nearby tree, spotting a bird she recognised and watching it build its nest for a while. Finn snuck up behind her, unnoticed.
“Finn!” Rae squealed as he shook his wet hair all over her.
“You’re getting in that water, even if I have to drag you in.” he said with a smile, eyebrows raised.
“Fuck am I.” Rae laughed, Finn making to tickle her. She squirmed away, running around the tree as Finn began to chase her.
“C'mon…get your kit off…” he laughed, tugging at her vest.
“I swear to god if you don’t back off I’m gonna punch you in the bollocks.” Rae warned, trying to sound serious but failing, a delighted grin still tugging at her lips.
“Finn…Finn!” she kept shouting when he didn’t let up, the couple lapping around the tree twice before Rae ran into the woods. She kept looking behind her, Finn still smiling as he chased her, Rae letting out another squeal as she ducked and dived through the trees, Finn laughing, getting nearer and nearer. She didn’t know where she was going, wasn’t really thinking much of anything. The beer saw to that, her body warm and fuzzy. She felt like she was floating, like she was running through thin air.
“Gotcha!” Finn shouted, Rae jolting in shock as Finn wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pressing a hard kiss on her neck. He turned her in his arms, planting another kiss on her smiling lips, both panting. He stepped away, taking her hand before looking around, the tips of Rae’s hair damp from where his cheek had been pressed, her t-shirt speckled with water.
“Where the fuck are we?” Rae wheezed, letting out another chuckle, Finn shrugging as he lead her forward a few paces. If he couldn’t get her into the river, he figured they could indulge in an activity even more fun, the opportunity presenting itself now they were alone. He found a clean patch of grass underneath a tree, sitting down and pulling his girlfriend down with him. He didn’t even have to initiate anything, Rae lunging for him a mere second after her bum hit the ground, merry and carefree. Finn chuckled into her mouth before the kiss deepened, hands gathered in her hair and gently stroking her shoulders and arms, Rae’s hands resting on his waist.
“Your skin is so soft…” Finn whispered, his lips ghosting hers as he gently trailed the tips of his fingers over her collar bone, making her shiver. She swallowed, her eyes fixed on his and her breathing laboured, but this time not from exhaustion. His hand travelled upwards, cupping her jaw as he moved his lips to her neck. Rae closed her eyes as Finn tucked her hair behind her back before pressing his lips against her for a few seconds, landing a long kiss on the pale skin before moving his position slightly to land another on an area nearby.
“Are you tryin’ to give me a love bite or something?” Rae giggled, Finn pausing just below her earlobe.
“D'ya want one?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t mind really.” Rae said, trying to sound nonchalant but failing. She’d always eye Chloe’s jealously throughout secondary school, always wondering what it would be like to have one, to have a boy actually want to suck on her skin until it was bruised. Now was her chance, and despite her neutral response, she hoped Finn would go for it with all her heart. He pressed his lips against her neck once more, this time gathering some flesh in-between them and pressing his lips together, hard. He began to suck, a moan rumbling in Rae’s throat.
“Am I hurting ya?” Finn asked, pulling back with a slurp and meeting her gaze, which was initially far off and defocussed. She shook her head, her eyes dark and her chest heaving. At her reassurance, he returned his lips to the same area, his cheeks hollowing once more as he resumed his sucking, Rae closing her eyes and letting herself ease into the moment entirely, one of her hands finding his before she interlocked their fingers together, the pressure of his grip mirroring the suction on her skin.
“That should do it.” he said gruffly, Rae moving back and placing a hand on the area his lips had just left. Finn kissed her again, waiting for the evidence of his handiwork to form.
“How’s it look?” Rae said, voice low, tilting her head to the side.
When he inspected the evidence he found it’d been the neatest he’d ever given, and the darkest.
“Looks alright.” he said with a nod, gently trailing his thumb over it, the statement shedding no light on his true emotions.
He always found giving love bites a bit boring, but with Rae it was different. It was an excuse to feel her skin on his lips, to taste her, to feel the bobbing of her throat and the pulse of her heartbeat in his mouth. It was also an excuse to hold her, to press her against him and for her to hold him in in return. He never knew the potential enjoyment to be had from an act originally thought to be trivial. As he gazed at it and her in turn, he also loved how it’d be a temporary symbol of his presence. She was his girlfriend and only his, nobody else’s - he was the only boy who could do this to her, who she’d let kiss her and hold her like this. He’d never felt the thrill he was feeling at that moment before, the purple circle high enough to be difficult to hide, unless she decided to start wearing turtlenecks.
Finn lifted the tip of his finger to the bruise, Rae closing her eyes as she tried to decipher the word he gently wrote upon it.
M-I-N-E
She opened her eyes to meet his, smiling adoringly at the bashful quirk of his lips, her eyes ladened with dark intensity, contrasting the tenderness. She nodded, Finn capturing her lips in his once again, the pair making out for a minute more before Rae pulled away.
“I want to…can I…?” she asked, her eyes widening. He nodded when he caught on, tilting his head to expose more of his neck to her. She hesitated momentarily.
“I might be really shit.” she said. Finn shook his head slowly, dark eyes sparkling.
“It’s not hard. Ya just have to keeping sucking. Don’t worry about hurting me or anything.” he assured, shifting closer. Rae nodded, starting as Finn did by pressing a gentle kiss on his neck, Finn biting his bottom lip and closing his eyes as she took more of his skin into her mouth, her teeth grazing him. A wicked thought suddenly found its way into Finn’s head involving Rae sucking something else, and he felt himself hardening as Rae increased the pressure. He found his breath coming out ragged. Rae held Finn closer to her, loving the feel of his skin on her lips, her tongue lapping out momentarily to taste him. He jerked when she did so, Rae pulling away, a groan of disappointment bubbling in Finn’s throat.
“Was that alright?” she asked, Finn nodding, managing to compose himself.
“Yeah.” he said simply, following Rae’s gaze as it flicked down to his crotch. It was obvious he was hard, the thin material of his trunks straining against it.
“Sorry…” he said bashfully, Rae turning paler and averting her gaze. Finn shifted on the floor before half rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He wasn’t going to apologise for Rae turning him on - she was his girlfriend, for crying out loud. He had an idea - well, more of an impulse. She’d got him going and now he craved a release, but he wanted Rae to help him. Yet he knew they were taking small steps, which he didn’t mind, and he didn’t want to expose himself to her or make her do anything she wasn’t ready for.
“Rae…can I ask you something?” he requested, Rae freezing slightly but managing to look at him.
“Yeah?"
"Do you think I could…” he trailed off, gesturing to his erection before looking back up at Rae, hoping to convey the rest with his expression.
“Do you want me to…” Rae asked, but Finn could tell she felt uncomfortable, her light dimmed.
“I just wanted to sort myself out but, it would be cool if you stayed…you don’t have to do anything…maybe just snog me while I…” he gestured to the area again, before clenching his fists and looking away.
“I’m sorry Rae. Just forget it-"
"I can do that, if you want me to.” Rae interrupted, the old her returning amidst her relief and - she couldn’t deny - growing excitement. Finn looked back at her, eyes brightening, a smile pulling at his lips.
“Ya sure?” he asked, Rae nodding with a smile of her own. She shifted closer to him, gently taking his face in her hands and bringing his lips to hers, Finn resting his hand on her back whilst slipping the other into his damp trunks, holding himself. Rae was shivering, her blood stream rushing with adrenaline and nerves. Finn’s heart was racing, breathing becoming heavier as he tugged, wanting to take things slow but the dim fear of one of their friends, or somebody else entirely finding them quashed the inclination. Having Rae there made the experience all the sweeter, as he often thought about her when he masturbated anyway. To have her there, to have her kiss him like this was exciting, even if she wasn’t touching or even looking at his cock. Thoughts went through his head of all the things he’d hoped to do with her eventually, which was a lot. He wanted her to touch him soon, to touch her intimately too. As he thought this, he moved his hand from her back and cupped her breast, the warmth in his groin building. His groans vibrated against Rae’s lips, releasing more as she pulled away to give them both a breather.
Unable to help it, she pulled back further to look into his eyes, which scanned her face hungrily, heavy and dark as he licked his lips. She shivered harder under his scrutiny, his raw sexiness making her ache with want. She felt the impulse to touch him, to finish him off herself, but something stopped her. She reasoned that he was probably nearly done anyway, the thought interrupted by Finn pulling at her, wanting her to kiss him again. He snaked his hand into her hair, panting into her mouth, his whole body rocking as he quickened his pace. He sat up more, his back straightening and muscles tensing as he felt himself get close. He groaned hard in surprise as Rae gently trailed her fingertips across his abs, ghosting the skin underneath his belly button. Her hands were so tantalisingly close to his own moving fist, the sensation of her soft skin married with the friction he afforded himself exhilarating. He had to pull his lips away, eyes closed tight and brow sweaty.
“Rae…” he growled, opening his eyes, dazed, before pulling her towards him needily. He pressed their foreheads together, Rae stroking his back as he choked out harsh breaths. Rae felt overwhelmed herself, never seeing a boy do this before, let alone this close…and knowing she was helping it along made her feel indescribable. She didn’t feel anxious or scared, her trust in Finn a constant balm of safety. She felt horny herself, and if she would have been ready at that time for Finn to see her naked, she’d have asked him to kiss her whilst she touched herself, the memory of the current goings on a sure fire way of getting her off.
Finn knew he’d blow at any second, holding Rae to him with one arm, hugging her tight as he bucked into the last few strokes. Suddenly he convulsed, gasping harshly as he came. Rae peppered kisses on his shoulder as he rode it out, the fabric of her vest gathered in his fist.
“Fuckin’ ‘ell.” Finn exclaimed, sagging limply as his head lolled back against the tree behind him. He caught his breath, Rae resuming his seat beside him, seeing Finn wipe his hand on the inside of his trunks out of the corner of her eye before he swung his head towards her slightly.
“Thanks.” he said, Rae meeting his gaze.
“S'alright.” she smiled, her cheeks pink.
“We better head back, I guess.” Finn said after he’d caught his breath, Rae nodding.
“Alright.”
They stood, Rae brushing herself off before Finn grabbed her hand, leading her back in the direction they ran from.
“It’s not come out half bad, actually.” Rae said proudly from beside him, Finn almost forgetting the love bite she’d given him. He touched it gently with a grin, throwing it at Rae as they neared their friends, who looked like they were packing away.
“There they are.” Archie informed the others. Finn walked to the lake to clean himself off, dunking himself in waist high as Rae walked towards the others, Chloe and Izzy giggling amongst themselves before Chloe adopted a mock scolding demeanour, clearing her throat pointedly.
“Er, what do you call this then?” she teased, tapping her neck.
“You of all people should know; you’ve had enough of 'em in your time.” Rae threw back, Izzy laughing and Chop wolf whistling as Archie packed away the boom box.
“Yeah, when I was 14. You grow out of certain things.” she snarked back, Rae not rising to it, not wanting Chloe to bring her down.
“We’re heading off anyway. You coming?” she continued when Rae simply helped Izzy with the blanket. Rae looked over at Finn, who was making his way to get out of the river.
“Finn - they’re going back. You staying or going?” Rae called, Finn walking towards his friends and pushing his wet hair back from his face.
“We could stick around for a bit, if ya want?” Finn offered, Rae nodding.
“Alright, cool.” she smiled, the couple helping their friends pack the kit into Chop’s boot. They said their goodbyes, Rae and Chloe easing up on each other just before she headed off, Chloe even given her a hug, their way of mutually apologising. Izzy was quite burned, so wasn’t in the best of moods, but she hugged Rae regardless before walking gingerly to Chop’s car.
After they drove off, Rae laid herself down on her back, using Finn’s leather jacket as a pillow. Finn wrapped himself in a towel before joining her, following suit and using her stomach as his own pillow. Rae didn’t tense at the contact this time, feeling utterly relaxed as the sun began to set. She placed a hand on his chest, the other reaching down to stroke and fiddle with his hair. He shifted onto his front after a few minutes laying in that position, the couple conversing lazily every now and then but mostly laying there in silence. He rested his cheek on her stomach and closed his eyes, the rise and fall of her warm skin comforting him. Rae smiled, happy butterflies forming in her stomach, their easy intimacy one of the keenest pleasures in Rae’s life. It was unclear who fell asleep first, but when they both woke up they realised, after Finn scrabbled around in the darkness for his discarded watch, that it was early morning.
“My Mum’ll be freaking out.” Rae commented as she rubbed her eye sleepily. Finn stood before stretching with a yawn of his own, walking closer to the river. He knew his parents would probably be worried too, but he figured if they were already late, they might as well stay out for a little longer. He wasn’t ready to go home yet. He looked up at the stars before looking back at Rae, who stood. He reached out his hand, Rae walking towards him and taking it, his fingers linking with hers as they both stared out into the water.
“We should go in.” Finn said, tone steady and serious.
“Did you not hear what I just said? Mum’s probably sending out a search party as we speak.” Rae declared, trying to hammer it home.
Finn didn’t look at her, only stared into the dark blue in a daze, the light of the moon and a few distant street lamps illuminating the space.
“Finn?” Rae tried, shaking his arm in her grasp. He unlinked his fingers before pulling down his swimming trunks in one swift movement, Rae’s breath catching in her throat as Finn stood next to her stark bollock naked. She caught a glimpse of his penis before averting her eyes, Finn not giving her a chance to come to her senses - Why am I looking away? He’s my boyfriend…I’m going to see it eventually. Might as well be now. - as he walked towards the river, Rae looking at his naked bum, which was even more gorgeous than she could have imagined, from what she could see in the darkness. He didn’t jump in this time, but instead sat on the bank before lowering himself in, swimming out a bit before turning and looking up at her.
Rae suddenly felt a wave of fear hit her, and she desperately hoped he wasn’t expecting her to strip off as well. She no longer hid her feelings from Finn, who insisted on her being honest with him at all times ever since they’d got together, so she went for the truth again in this case.
“I’m not ready to…” she said meekly, looking down at her body.
“I’m not expecting you to Rae. Just come in wimme for a bit…please.” he asked, Rae softening at his pleading tone. She wasn’t going to resist any longer - the river didn’t look as bad as she initially thought, and she was hardly going to turn down the opportunity to swim with her naked boyfriend. Her heart had been pounding ever since he first stripped off, and it continued to pound as she walked to the edge of the bank and lowered herself in, fully clothed. Finn swam towards her, meaning to help her, but as she didn’t need it he swam away again, Rae following him. The pair bobbed for a while, Finn moving slowly towards Rae and kissing her softly.
“I’ve had such an amazing day.” Rae sighed with a smile as they continued to look at each other. “…even if Mum is going to ground me for a week. It was worth it.” she continued, her voice quivering, struggling to suppress her nerves.
Finn’s expression remained unchanged, although he furrowed his brow slightly, Rae catching his conflicted expression even in the dim light.
“What is it?” she whispered, suddenly concerned. He swallowed.
“I wanted ya to…” he began, Rae tensing as her brain treated her to a relentless barrage of thoughts as to how he was going to finish that sentence. She managed to hide it, watching him with open patience as she always did when he struggled to speak.
“I wanted…I wanted to show you myself. Just now…when…” he looked at the bank, jerking his head towards his discarded trunks, Rae looking with him. She caught on, feeling her cheeks burn.
“I see.” she whispered. They carried on bobbing in heavy silence, not meeting each other’s eyes.
“No deformities, then.” Rae said, Finn looking at her with another frown. She looked back at him with a lopsided grin, Finn’s expression softening as he broke into a laugh. Rae chuckled too, moving forward to kiss Finn’s smiling lips, feeling him wrap an arm around her. They kissed for a few minutes more before the warmth left them, the cold of the water driving the couple back onto land.
Rae thought about how her Mum would react when she got home in the early hours, damp with a love bite on her neck. She didn’t think she’d take it too well, somehow.
Warning kids: BIT'O'SMUT
—
“We on this then?” Chop asked, eyes wide, standing on his usual imaginary stage in front of the gang’s table in the pub.
“I am!” Izzy beamed, Chop giving her a grin and throwing her a “That’s m'girl!” before scurrying over to peck her. He looked at the rest of his friends afterwards, taking a seat to hear the other verdicts.
“I suppose I’m free. It’s this Friday night, yeah?” Archie asked, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.
“Yes indeedio! How about you Raemundo? You game?”
“I dunno…last time I went to the carnival I got food poisoning after eating a dodgy hot dog.” she said with a grimace, Archie and Chop laughing as Izzy gave her a sympathetic look.
“Don’t eat the hot dogs then.” Finn said from beside her, Rae turning to him with a withering look.
“Thanks Sherlock. I’ll keep that in mind.” she drawled, Finn smirking down at his pint.
“Wait a minute…didn’t we go to the carnival together last time?” Chloe asked Rae.
“Yeah, but you were off snogging Reggie Clayton on the ferris wheel whilst I was blowing chunks behind the Walzers.” she responded, Chloe gazing off into space, her expression softening as she remembered.
“Oh yeah. He was so fit.” she sighed, Rae rolling her eyes. Classic Chloe.
“C'mon Rae! I’m sure the food’ll be better this time!” Izzy persuaded, Rae turning to Finn.
“You going?” she asked, Finn giving her a nod.
“Chlo?” Rae checked, Chloe visibly surprised that she was a factor in her decision.
“Er, yeah! Why not. Although it’s a bit depressing going when you’re single. I mean - who’ll go in the Tunnel of Love with me?” she moaned, glancing at Archie who tensed before sharing a concerned look with Rae, who fought the urge to laugh.
“I’m sure you’ll find someone Chloe. You’ve got a few days.” Rae reasoned.
“Suppose.” Chloe said before taking a sip of her alco pop.
“That’s settled then! We’ll meet here for a bevy at 6 before heading down there.” Chop declared, rubbing his hands together, mission accomplished.
When the night arrived, Chloe hadn’t managed to find anyone to go with, a fact Archie was more concerned about than she was.
“If only you weren’t with Finn. You could pretend to be my girlfriend then, keep her at bay!” Archie moaned when they were alone at the bar, Rae chuckling.
“What makes you think I’d be your patsy even if I was single?” she teased in mock offence.
“Because you love me and you think I’m cute.” he responded with a sweet smile, Rae shaking her head with an amused smirk. “Twat.” she said under her breath, Archie laughing as they both rejoined their friends.
After a few drinks, they set off, all chatting in the evening light as they walked to the field, the lights of the carnival visible from a mile off.
They all got stuck in once they’d entered the grounds, Chop immediately running towards the Strongman Striker, eager to impress Izzy with his skill. They all had a go, Chop annoyed that Finn got the weight up further than he did, before both boys became collectively shocked (and oddly turned on, in Finn’s case) when Rae got it higher than both of them.
“Who’s the Daddy?” she called out, Izzy and Archie clapping in delight as Chop and Finn looked at her warily. Rae leapt into a victory dance, making her friends all laugh, including the emasculated boys in question. Finn wasn’t having any of it, pulling off his t-shirt and taking the hammer from his now silently transfixed girlfriend before handing her the shirt, making a spectacle of flexing his muscles before he brought the hammer down, the ring of the bell a good metaphor for the female orgasm.
“You ain’t having this back.” Rae teased as he approached her smugly, her face falling as she cought a few girls eyeing him up hungrily as they walked past.
“Second thoughts…” she countered with a sigh, chucking him the shirt.
They all moved onto the other carnival games soon after, pacing themselves before going on the big rides. Chop won Izzy a toy Bag Puss on the Space Shooter, the red head kissing him adoringly in thanks. The cute boy at the stand began flirting with Chloe, Rae catching him as he told her his shift would be over in a couple of hours. Chloe threw a wink at Rae after their exchange, seemingly finding an ideal candidate for her Tunnel of Love companion. Rae could practically feel Archie’s immense relief pulse off him.
When the gang arrived at the Waltzers, Finn began teasing Rae immediately.
“Where abouts were ya sick then, Rae?” he grinned, the gang laughing as she pinched his arm. He jerked away with a laugh.
“You’ve not eaten any gone off hot dogs today, have ya?” Archie joined with a chuckle of his own.
“Yeah, Raemundo’s had her fill of dodgy sausage, ay Finn?” Chop quipped. The gang all exploded into peels of laughter, Rae blushing.
“There ain’t nothing dodgy about my sausage, alright?” Finn threw back, the girls gasping in unison before Rae shielded her face with an embarrassed “Oh my god.” Chop and Archie were almost doubled over.
The gang continued to make the rounds, stumbling dizzily from the Walzers to the Energizer, their screams echoing into the night. The boys had a field day in the Haunted House, all conspiring to scare the girls, Finn and Chop already knowing the place inside out from when they were kids. It was all fun and games before Chop startled Chloe so bad she instinctively shoved him away, making him break clean through the plywood coffin behind him. They were subsequently chucked off, Chop nursing a throbbing arm as the rest of the gang, all except the still thoroughly not amused Chloe, laughed their heads off.
They all headed to the ferris wheel, Archie jumping into Rae’s compartment quickly so he wasn’t left alone with Chloe, who he still didn’t trust despite her already making alternative arrangements. He threw an irked Finn an apologetic look, Izzy pulling Finn away before he could protest. “C'mon Finn! You can share w'me.” she beamed, Finn smiling despite himself. Rae grinned at the pair of them, Chop and Chloe getting into the compartment below Finn and Izzy.
Rae linked her arm around Archie’s, the pair chatting and looking up at the stars. They wondered if Chop and Chloe had made their peace, their theory proved right as they heard Chloe’s laugh echo around them.
“Nobody can stay mad at Chopper for long.” Rae pointed out, Archie nodding in agreement.
After they all disembarked, they decided it was time to go on the most exciting ride of the lot. They all queued up for the big dipper, Chop’s arms draped over Izzy’s shoulders as she chatted to Rae and Chloe, Chop talking to Finn and Archie over her head. Chop was momentarily distracted by somebody at the front of the queue.
“Ere, Finn…ain’t that Shelly Parker?” Chop asked, jerking his head forward. Finn looked behind him at the familiar face standing by the ride entrance before turning back, eyeing Rae awkwardly before facing Chop once again.
“Yeah. Guess she works here.” he mumbled, Rae looking at him curiously.
“Who’s Shelly Parker, then?” she asked, trying to sound playful but not quite hitting it. Her voice quivered as she asked it, but she fought hard to keep her cool.
“Finn went out with her couple'a'years back.” Chop responded, Finn glaring at him as Rae looked at the floor with a quiet “Oh.” Chop met Finn’s icy stare before trying to back track.
“Only for a few months, mind! Wasn’t even that serious. She were crap in the sack, weren’t she Finn?"
"Oi!” Izzy scolded, elbowing him in the ribs, saving Finn the job of smacking him one. Rae tried to keep smiling but struggled, glancing behind her at Finn’s ex, not being able to help herself. She was blonde and skinny, had a Zoe Ball vibe about her, Rae thought. Finn shifted closer to Rae instinctively, his grip on her hand tightening before he met her gaze. She came to herself a bit then, her last attempt to smile a success as they shared a silent exchange. The queue shifted forward and Rae couldn’t help but feel her chest tightening further and further in anxiety as the proximity to Shelly shortened. It was too late to leave, the gang already slap bang in the middle of the queue. She distracted herself by talking to Archie, Finn listening in as Chop continued to rub his ribs sheepishly.
When it was their turn to get on, Rae’s hope that Shelly wouldn’t spot Finn turned out to be in vain. She stepped out in front of the couple, giving Finn a flirtatious hello before looking down at Rae and Finn’s joined hands, her brow furrowing briefly before she returned her sultry gaze to Finn, who mumbled out an “Alright.” moving to lead Rae to the seats.
“I’m afraid she can’t get on.” Shelly said bluntly, staying Finn’s shoulder before jerking her head towards Rae.
Finn eyed her incredulously before throwing her a baffled: “Y'what?”
“She won’t fit I’m afraid.” she continued, before throwing Rae a thoroughly insincere “Sorry.”
Rae wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation, so she moved to let go of Finn’s hand, not wishing to drag out the spectacle for any longer than needed. She mainly just wanted to get away from Finn’s ex girlfriend, as she had done ever since she was first spotted. Finn was having none of it, pulling Rae back towards him, still looking at Shelly with a frown, Chloe, Izzy, Chop and Archie watching the confrontation from the seats.
“She has a name, actually. It’s Rae.” Chloe shouted over, Rae appreciating the gesture but throwing Chloe a silent “Leave it.” across the space between them before turning back to Finn, who gave Chloe an encouraging nod. Rae felt her face burn in embarrassment, wanting the hellish exchange to be over.
“Look, it’s alright Finn…you go on. I’ll wait out the fron-"
"No, Rae! This is bullshit.” he declared, Shelly suppressing a smirk as Finn returned his angry glare to her.
“Don’t blame me! It’s not my fault that the ride wasn’t built for girls with a…fuller figure.” Shelly said, giving Rae a patronising once over, Rae raising her eyebrow and putting her hand on her hip, Finn’s reluctance to let her go leaving her with no other option but to give as good as she got.
Finn suddenly adopted a condescending demeanour of his own, raising his eyebrows and speaking slowly, as if talking to an imbecile:
“I think you’ll find my girlfriend can fit on there, actually. Shall we go over there and see?"
He gave Shelly a sarcastic smile before leading Rae to the seats with a purpose, Rae saying his name under her breath en route.
"Trust me Rae.” he assured quietly, Rae sitting down on a seat next to Chloe and preparing to suck in. She was thoroughly surprised and relieved to find the bar fixed over her with ease, Finn looking back at Shelly.
“Well would you look at that! You should really check your facts, Shell. Get your eyes tested while you’re at it, yeah?” he called over as he sat himself down, the rest of the gang laughing as Shelly’s haughty expression faltered, her eyes scanning over the gang before she returned her attention to the queue.
Rae felt a rush of affection expand in her chest, her friends’ support warming her. She resisted the urge to thank them, knowing there was none needed.
“Christ…talk about a gamble. How much of a knob would you have looked if I didn’t fit?” Rae said, leaning forward to look Finn in the eye. Finn rolled his eyes with a sigh, leaning forward himself.
“Look, I worked a summer at Drayton Manor when I were 15. I know who can fit in what. She was just being an awkward cow. Thank fuck I dumped her s'all I can say.” Finn said as he settled back into his seat, Rae smirking to herself.
The ride set off soon after, the gang screaming in delight with the others as they plunged down, their arms in the air. After they disembarked, Finn pulled a grinning Rae towards him for a kiss, her hair all over the place. Rae wondered if he knew Shelly was eyeing them moodily as he did so, but as he didn’t so much as glance in her direction as he lead Rae away, she came to the conclusion that he didn’t.
They six of them went for some food afterwards, finding a spot on the grass to sit and eat after queuing for burgers, figuring it was now safe to do so after they’d been on all the fast rides. Rae sniffed her burger suspiciously.
“It’s fine, Rae. I saw him cook it myself - nothing wrong with it.” Finn assured, Rae still not looking completely convinced as she took a bite. Her expression softened. It seemed sound enough.
The boy from Space Shooter found them after a while, Chloe glad she’d finished her burger, not wanting any potential snog to witness her eat a hunk of cow smothered in ketchup. He sat and chatted with them for a bit before Chloe moved to head off with him, telling her friends she’d see them later.
“Have I got any ketchup on my face?” she whispered to Rae subtly before she stood, Rae shaking her head quickly.
“Right, are you going to take me on the Tunnel of Love or what?” Izzy asked Chop as Chloe and Space Shooter boy walked off, Izzy squeezing his arm in both of hers, making him wince. She jerked away, apologising before kissing his bicep.
“You’re such a pussy.” Finn jibed, shaking his head.
“Yeah well, this pussy’s about to take his girl on the Tunnel of Love, so I’ll see you wankers later.” Chop signed off, aiming a kick at Finn before pulling Izzy away by the hand, Izzy seemingly too lost in excitement to bother saying goodbye.
Rae and Finn chatted with Archie for a while longer before he made to go home.
“Gotta get up early for a revision group. Just as well, because I certainly am not getting laid tonight.” he sighed, dejected. The couple said their goodbyes, Archie kissing Rae on the cheek. Finn suppressed a snarl, old habits dying hard despite his trust in Rae being firmly in tact after nearly 9 months of dating her.
He decided to buy some candy floss for them to share, the pair moving to a nearby bench, watching the goings on and taking the piss. The night was drawing to a close, which they could tell from the thinned out crowds, a few rides still and dark. Rae noticed Finn eye her intently after a while, Rae meeting his probing gaze uncomfortably.
“What?” she asked. Finn glanced at her cheek.
“You’ve got some sugar on your cheek.” he informed, leaning forward as he said so and enveloping the sweetened skin between his lips, Rae giggling as Finn pulled back.
“Don’t anymore.” he joined, Rae looking at her knees coyly before meeting his eyes, Finn smiling at her. He moved to stand, taking Rae’s hand in his once more. He threw the candy floss stick in the bin as he walked the route Rae was familiar with, only the last time she’d walked it she was clutching her stomach, her mouth filling with bile and digested sausage.
Finn’s hand was sticky in hers, a few wisps of pink caught on his shirt. The Tunnel of Love came into view, and Rae couldn’t help but grin in amusement as Finn walked towards it, throwing her a smirk over his shoulder.
“You’re never gonna live this down, y'know.” Rae quipped as they passed the very tired looking ticket man, Finn wrapping his arm around Rae immediately after they sat down in the gaudily decorated carriage.
“Are those spunk stains?” Rae exclaimed, pointing at the fabric of the hot pink seat they were sitting on.
“You really know how to get a bloke in the mood, don’t ya.” Finn teased through chuckles, the couple plunging into darkness as they creaked into the tunnel. He was about to eat his sarcastic slight, because after a few moments, Rae lifted his hand to her lips, slowly licking the sticky sugar from each of his fingers before taking his index finger into her mouth, sucking on it as Finn’s breath became shallow, the pink lights around them blurring.
“Fuck…” he whispered, gulping. He could see Rae’s eyes meet his, not waiting much longer before kissing her hard, any thoughts of it being a playful, light hearted grope long forgotten. His minx of a girlfriend had seen to that.
“How long does the ride last for?” Rae whispered against his lips after pulling away with a slurp .
“Not long enough.” Finn grunted out before resuming the make out session, a small moan from Rae vibrating against his lips, driving him insane. She pulled him closer, gripping the fabric of his t-shirt as he groped a boob with one hand, his arm still wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The carriage creaked as Finn leaned Rae further over, running away with his enthusiasm. He thought he might end up swallowing her face whole, his jaws aching sweetly, her tongue caressing his. The unwelcome feeling of the night air hitting them came all too soon, and Finn reluctantly pulled away, flustered and hard. It was Rae’s turn to lead him, the pair stepping out of the carriage before she pulled Finn towards the now closed down Haunted House. Stepping behind it, the pair checked the coast was clear before kissing once again, Finn moving his lips downwards to suck on Rae’s neck, Rae undoing his belt and unzipping his jeans. She knelt on the grass, pulling down his jeans so they were pooled around his ankles. She took him into her mouth soon after, Finn grunting and plunging his hands into her hair, holding her head as it bobbed slowly. He closed his eyes tight, a shaky breath leaving him before he bit down on his bottom lip. Rae held his thighs firmly as she took more and more of him into her mouth with every dip of her head, moving back from time to time to lap her tongue against his tip, Finn beginning to moan with increasing desperation. He ran his hands through her hair, the feel of the soft strands under his fingers coupled with the sensation Rae’s mouth around him ensuring all cognitive thought was lost. His whole body shuddered as he hit the back of her throat, Rae humming as she pulled back, making him hiss through his teeth before cursing. Rae gently stroked the skin of his calves, the trail she left burning him as his muscles tensed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to last much longer.
“Rae…Rae…I’m gonna…” he warned through his panting, his eyes still closed. He gripped Rae’s hair tight as she moved back slightly, Finn trying his best to stifle his groaning as he came, almost losing his footing as his whole body shook under the force of it. He held onto the frame of the Haunted House behind them to steady himself, breathing hard as Rae knelt back, wiping her mouth as she swallowed.
She stood, looking around her once more before checking around the corner as Finn gingerly pulled his jeans up, still vibrating. She moved back towards him, Finn still looking quite dazed. She gathered the fabric of his t-shirt in her hand, gently shaking it with an amused “Earth to Finn.” Finn meeting her eyes before huffing out a fatigued chuckle. As they emerged from behind the ride, they both tensed as they heard somebody let out a long wolf whistle nearby, both turning to see two men having a smoke, sitting on the front step of the Haunted House.
“Oh Christ.” Rae exclaimed, sharing a mortified look with Finn.
“…and on that note, let’s go home, shall we?” she said, Finn nodding quickly.
Archie’s voice is a distant echo as she looks out at the bustling dance floor. Her heart is sinking fast and her face starts to burn in intense jealousy and sadness as she watches Finn and Chloe clinch, swaying slowly, all over each other. They seem to have a whole stage to themselves, a space surrounding them, the other dancers jumping and whooping on the seats of the arena. She feels sick, shaking her head and chanting: “No!” in disbelief. It is real though - it’s happening and it’s horrible. She can’t look at them anymore, has to get away, run away - she needs air, she needs space - she needs the ground to open up and swallow her. She settles for running out of the place, turning on her heel away from the snoggers, the other rave goers a sweeping blur as she quickly feels her way to the door.
Before she knows it her back’s against the scratchy leaves of the maze, the air cold as she sucks it into her lungs, eyes clamped shut as she tries to purge the image from her mind, the knowledge that her two best mates - not only that, her best and oldest friend and her Finn were currently eating each other’s pie munchers. Archie chased after her for a while but he’s gone now, too wasted to properly keep pace. Rae had been dreading this moment, but she somehow knew it was coming. Even in the throws of jealousy and pain, the cruel voice in her head still wins out: “Why would Finn choose you over Chloe? Get real.” Now they’d probably get together, will flaunt their relationship in front of Rae and the rest of the gang, will be all over each other in the pub and the chippy…
Rae’ll be the one who’ll have to hear about Chloe’s first time with him, all the details of what he’s like in bed, how good of a kisser he is…Rae thinks she might throw up, her eyes stinging with the threat of frustrated tears.
She spots Kendo looking at her from the mansion wall a few feet away. Chop had pulled her away from his advances earlier that night. Rae was glad of it at the time - but right now, she’s hurt, confused, reckless and fucked. It’s nice to feel wanted, for once - even if it’s a scumbag drug dealer from Dalehead who wants her, for whatever reason. She doesn’t question it, heading towards him instead, trying to keep her footing steady but failing. He gives her a sly grin when she reaches him, taking a last drag of his cigarette before tossing it on the ground.
“Where did you fuck off to?” he asks, standing up fully and facing her. Rae wobbles on her feet before steadying herself against the brick wall, the effects of the second pill ensuring her surfaced sass is still present. She gives him a flirtatious “Does it matter? I’m back now, aren’t I.” before stepping forward. Kendo doesn’t waste time, holding the back of her neck in the same vice like grip he had done an hour before. He goes in, and this time Rae doesn’t shove him away. He’s not as soft and patient as Archie - he’s all tongue and teeth and gums, but Rae’s too fuzzy to care, and she tries her best to keep up and keep control of her limbs enough to hold him. She clasps the back of his jacket, more to stop from falling over than anything, this desperate attempt to forget not working in the slightest.
—
She’s kissing him - she’s actually kissing him and she’s LOVING it. His lips really are luscious now she’s got hers wrapped around them. She’d spent many a minute secretly staring at those pouting beauties, trying her best to imagine what it’d be like if he snogged the living daylights out of her with them, and now it’s happening it feels even better than any of her mad fantasies. She isn’t playing it coy - she may not have taken the pill Chop offered (wanting to impress Finn with her willpower, obviously) but even sober she lets her inhibitions go and makes the most of it, wrapping her arms around his neck as he gently clutches at the fabric of her shirt, their tongues touching as their lips part in unison. She can feel his pecs press against her, his fit body hot against her skin as they sway slowly on the dance floor, the music only a dim thump around them. She can still feel the pulse of the beat in her chest, however, and it seems to be doing a good job of masking her erratic heartbeat. He tastes so good, she thinks, and she can barely get enough of him. She almost lets out a groan of disappointment as Finn pulls away, his grip on her loosening as he steps back. She looks at him confused - she knows she’s a good kisser, at least, she hopes she is - she hadn’t had any complaints before. She furrows her brow at his conflicted expression, and she wonders with a sear in her chest as he moves to speak in her ear if he’s going to take her somewhere for ‘something more’ and her breath catches in her throat, both in excitement and apprehension
“Can we talk? Somewhere quiet.” he shouts, Chloe nodding with what she hopes is a sultry smile, but Finn still looks a bit stricken as he leads Chloe out. She thinks that he could at least hold her hand or something, but he doesn’t, and she suddenly feels cold as she follows him out of the building with no aid of physical contact. He turns to her just as they step outside, sidling up to the wall by the door. The thought passes her mind to try and kiss him again, but she isn’t stupid. She realises gradually, with ever increasing disappointment that he hadn’t lead her out there for that. She’s just managed to put a name to the emotion plaguing his features; it’s guilt. She leans against the wall, biting the corner of her bottom lip as she waits. He sighs, mouth closed before looking at the ground. She follows his gaze as it yo-yos back to her.
“Look Chloe…I can’t do this. It ain’t right.” he states. She shrugs, shaking her head slightly.
“Why not?”
He clenches his jaw. He makes to speak again but she cuts him off.
“Do you like somebody else?” She’d predicted as much and had voiced it to Rae earlier on. Her oldest friend hadn’t been of much help. Despite her closeness to Finn, she didn’t have any goss as to the mystery girl Finn had the hots for.
Finn looks a bit angry all of a sudden, a wave of bitterness passing over his face before he buries it.
“Yeah. She doesn’t like me but, I don’t want to lead you on, ya know? Plus, we’re mates aren’t we. I wouldn’t wanna mess that up or anything.”
It was all the same recycled clichés that Chloe certainly wasn’t used to hearing. She feels a rush of irritation hit her, her pride inevitably hurt. She shakes it off, bounces back.
“It’s just a kiss, Finn. Chill out.” she assures with an incredulous smirk. She forces out a chuckle before standing up, Finn nodding with a small smile. She’s fooled him, she hopes. He’s hopefully none the wiser to the misery bubbling in her stomach and the tears burning at the edge of her eyes.
“Have a good night anyway, Finn. Might see ya on the dance floor.” she says with what she hopes is a cheery disposition before sauntering back inside, hoping to find Chop so she can take that pill she’d refused earlier on.
—
Chloe disappears from view and Finn feels a bit better - only a bit, mind, because he’s been feeling worse than horse shit ever since he saw Rae and Archie kissing on the dance floor. The sight had been a punch in the chest for him, his worst fear coming to fruition. He tries not the remember the horrid moment but his brain hates him, so naturally it’s all he can see as he breathes in the night air, aggravated beyond belief. He at least has his honour in tact - that’s something. He could have got his revenge on Rae, in his mind, but as he kissed Chloe it didn’t feel right. Maybe if he was a little bit more fucked he’d have gone through with it, but he hadn’t drunk hardly anything and hadn’t taken that crappy pill Chop offered. He was sober enough to realise that he didn’t want to lead Chloe on. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right, especially considering the object of Finn’s affections is Chloe’s 'bessie’ as she calls her. She didn’t seem bothered, though, and Finn’s relieved that Chloe only saw the kiss as a casual thing.
His thoughts are stopped in their tracks when he catches the familiar gold glint of Rae’s sequinned jacket in the distance. He feels his chest constrict once more, especially when he notices the scumbag currently attached to her lips, which makes the horrible burn of jealousy more powerful, somehow. Yet 'Rae’s best mate Finn’ is fighting for dominance within him and he feels concern for Rae win out over his hurt. He knows Kendo well enough to know he’s taking advantage of a drunk girl right now, and Finn hopes with some long buried optimism that Rae wouldn’t be caught dead snogging Kendo if she was sober. Just as he thinks it a little voice jibes: How the fuck do you know? You don’t even know the girl well enough to know what she would and wouldn’t do…clearly.
He can’t just leave them there - Rae stumbles a bit on her feet and it’s enough for Finn to spring into action. He’s over there in less than five long strides, a plan of action forming in his head.
“Rae! What the fuck are you playing at?” He’s shouting a lot louder than he’d meant to, and he tugs at her jacket hard, the two parting with a slurp.
“Finn?” She looks fuzzy but clearly confused. She blinks twice hard, a shade of anger suddenly appearing as she glances from Kendo to Finn, her jaw clenching. Finn turns his attention to Kendo, who’s currently looking down at him, dangerous and irked.
“Can we help ya?” he offers, Finn sucking in a breath, puffing out his chest. Chop might have been scared of this scumbag but he certainly wasn’t.
“Yeah, do you mind taking your paws off this girl and fucking off?”
Rae lets out an annoyed scoff, but Kendo steps back, letting her go. Rae doesn’t seem to care too much to be fair, but she still seems mad as hell.
Kendo suddenly eases up, nodding his head slowly with a knowing smile. He looks from Rae to Finn, before pointing a lazy finger at Rae. “This ya girl?”
Finn doesn’t answer, hoping his silence will hint to a confirmation. Rae has other ideas though, taking a few seconds to register before exploding with a livid: “No I fucking ain’t!”
She keeps twisting the knife, Finn thinks, and the anger within him bubbles up. Yeah, I get it Rae - the thought of us together clearly repulses you. You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.
“You naughty girl.” Kendo teases, backing off and raising his hands defensively when his eyes sweep over Finn, who’s now sharing and angry glare with Rae, his fists clenching. He doesn’t even register Kendo leaving, and despite Rae’s anger she doesn’t protest.
“What the fuck did you do that for?!” Rae shouts and slurs all at once, eyes alight.
“I’m stopping ya from being taken advantage of by a dickhead, Rae!”
Rae lets out another scoff and walks off out onto the wider expanse of grass, the light dimming more and more as Finn follows her.
“Well next time, mind your own! I can kiss whoever I want!” she calls back. She’s being infuriating. Finn has experience at being annoyed beyond belief by this impossible girl who he can’t for the life of him figure out, but this anger he’s feeling towards her now is laced with concern, and instead of coming from a place of cautious indifference, it’s now coming from a place of love, which makes it all the more powerful.
“You’re clearly wasted! I know you’d regret snogging Kendo in the morning, and who knows how far he’d have took things.” Finn dreads to think, a shiver passing over him. Rae turns then, the grass squelching and squeaking under her feet. She seems to soften a bit, her eyes passing over Finn as she shifts her weight, her damp hair stuck all over her face. She looks impossibly small then - lost in an expanse of black, and Finn longs to hug her all of a sudden, to keep her safe. He continues, his own countenance softening.
“This isn’t you, Rae…none of this. You’re better than a shit faced fumble with a two bit drug dealer, I know that much.”
“Well there’s a lotta stuff you don’t know about me, isn’t there!” she responds, anger flaring up once more. She really is fucked, Finn thinks, and he wishes he could just shake her and get the normal Rae back, the Rae that was all sense and thoughtfulness. What Finn really wanted was a Rae with nobody else after her, a Rae who liked him as much as he liked her, but he couldn’t have that. Her eyes dance wildly in the dim blue light, and a boy with a zebra mask starts to take a piss nearby. Finn ignores it, as does Rae, the former standing there helplessly as Rae begins her yelled tirade. He isn’t prepared for what’s about to hit him.
“You think I’m normal, well…I’m not normal, not at all. I’m weird, Finn, I'm…I’m mad.” she exclaims, her voice breaking as tears spring to her eyes. She sways on her feet and Finn tenses in preparation to ease her fall should it happen, but she stays upright and she isn’t finished.
“I’ve been keeping a secret from everyone…and…and considering you’re so pissed off w'me I guess I might as well tell ya, as you don’t wanna be friends w'me no more…” she really is mad if she thinks that, Finn notes, but she’s not talking sense, he reminds himself. He’d put her straight in the morning, but all he can do at that moment is stand there, mouth agog.
“First of all…” she starts, her voice strong and her confidence suddenly brimming as her face hardens. She takes two long strides forward and holds Finn’s head firm in her hands, pushing her lips against his firmly in a closed mouth kiss. Finn’s too stunned to react, and all too soon she’s gone, stepping back wide eyed and unsteady. His heart is pounding and he can still feel the pressure of her lips as the realisation of what she’s just done passes over her eyes briefly. They harden again before she continues, serious and shaky: “…I like ya. I really like ya…I fucking love you, actually. I know you could never like me like that but it’s the truth…”
“Rae…” Finn begins, but he’s cut off once again.
“I’m ugly, Finn - I know that. I’m fat and I’m ugly…boys don’t like me and…and…fuck…” the curse is forced out in a frustrated growl as she succumbs to tears. Finn has no time to process anything, has no time to register her words because they’re released in a flurry of anger and hurt. He steps forward holds her shoulders to keep her upright.
“I’m alright…I’m alright…” she tries to tell him, trying to wriggle from his hold. She lifts her gloved hand to her nose and wipes it as Finn releases her tentatively.
“It’s not just that though.” she continues, now quiet as a mouse. Finn waits, his hands hanging uselessly at his side. He doesn’t know what to say, just like always, so he waits.
“Before I met ya I was…I’d spent a few months in the local mental ward after…” her voice keeps trailing off and Finn feels his heart pound once again. He’s losing her, her confession melting away as she closes herself off. Finn makes to touch her again, to reassure her with the contact, but she steps back, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry Finn. I’m sorry for how I am…I’m such a mess, just a fat, ugly mess and you’d be better off without me.” She deflates completely then, turning on the spot and making to move away. Finn grabs her arm, not planning on losing her in the nearby maze, having a horrible feeling that’s where she’d be headed. She tries to shake herself away from his grasp but he silences her with the words he’s suddenly found.
“Rae, I’m taking ya home, ok? You need to sleep this off, cos you ain’t talkin’ any sense.” he states, Rae’s shoulders shaking as she sobs. He feels his chest constrict as she leads her away, glad she’s following, albeit reluctantly. She’s in no fit state to get on his scooter, so he looks for Chop, leaving her outside with a staunch: “Don’t go anywhere, Rae. I’m serious alright - don’t move.” before finding Chop snogging some girl by the DJ. It’s only when he steps closer and taps on his shoulder that he notices the fairy wings and the wand in the girls hand wrapped around his back. Chop pulls away from his clinch with Izzy, Finn too worried about Rae to offer any jovial congratulations. He grins at his friend, Izzy stepping back and dancing, dazed and grinning as Finn shouts in Chop’s ear.
“Can I borrow your car if I give ya my scooter? Rae’s fucked and I need to take her home.”
Chop throws Finn a lazy grin, eyes closed with a nod and a shoulder pat before fishing in his pocket for his keys, Finn doing the same. They trade, Finn managing a small smile of thanks before heading off, leaving the love birds to it. He’s relieved to find the thoroughly miserable Rae hasn’t moved, and he takes her arm once more, pulling her back towards their vehicles.
“Where are we going?” she asks weakly, fatigued.
“I told ya, Rae…I’m taking you back t'mine. You’re stayin’ wimme right now, remember?”
He turns back briefly, but Rae doesn’t do anything, only keeps her sad, wet eyes on the grass as they wade through it. It’ll be better in the morning, he thinks. She’ll be hungover to shit, but at least he can pick her brains over what she’d been saying, unless…would she forget everything? Would she even remember kissing him? Remember the beginning of her confession? Her words swirl around Finn’s brain: “I spent a few months in a local mental ward…”
He itches to know what she meant, but now isn’t the time. The answers would come, he hopes, the time to pick her brains and decipher her drunken outburst. He hopes that she truly meant what she said about loving him, because god knows he loves her. Loves her so much that any secret she had lined up for him wouldn’t affect his feelings, he knows.
She still doesn’t look at him as they get into the car, doesn’t meet his eye as he leans over to put on her seatbelt. She smells like spirits and wet grass, and Finn is reminded of her lips on his once more, the phantom pressure returning. She’d kissed three blokes that night - Finn the last and the one she feels strongest for, apparently. He hopes so, anyway…he bloody hopes so.
“What about Chloe?” Rae says suddenly, looking down at her hands. Finn turns on the ignition.
“What about Chloe?” Finn mirrors, buoyed once more by the inadvertent confirmation of her feelings. She HAD to have been telling the truth, right?
“You two going out now?” she slurs, Finn straining to hear her at first but catching it after a beat.
“No. We’re just mates. I don’t like her like that.” I like you, you soft girl.
They pull away, Rae half nodding, too knackered to express any more emotion. As they make their way down the forest path, she suddenly wants Finn to stop the car.
“I’m gonna go…I’m gonna…” she urges, Finn hitting the breaks before Rae opens the door, practically falling out of the car as she blows chunks on the road. Finn pulls on her coat so she doesn’t fall all the way, Rae wretching loudly. She sits back up after it’s all gone, pale as death, and Finn gently takes off her glove and wipes her mouth with it.
“Better now?” he asks, Rae clamping her eyes shut.
“This is such a nightmare.” she whispers. If Finn could wave Izzy’s magic wand and make her feel better he would, obviously. She’s right - it is a fucking nightmare. The night had been a mess, riddled with mistakes and close calls. Now Rae’s spiralling further and further into misery and Finn can’t do anything to get through to her. He reaches over and closes the door, driving off again as her head lolls back against the seat. He doesn’t turn towards home - he might be going a bit loopy himself, but he suddenly decides he doesn’t want to go back to the house, so he drives up a hill, stopping at a nearby overlook. He checks his watch: it’s nearly 3am. He doesn’t want to wake his parents, he rationalises, and he’d certainly wake them with the task of shifting a half conscious Rae up to the spare bedroom. He figures he needed to stop driving to gather his thoughts, too and he feels himself become hopelessly frustrated at having no way of venting his feelings. Rae’s falling asleep beside him, and he flattens the passenger seat, Rae turning on her side. He scrabbles around for a blanket, finding a tartan one on the back seat. He drapes it over her before running the tips of his fingers over her moist forehead. She’s out cold - passed out, probably.
Finn doesn’t sleep much himself - he slips in and out, dozes more than anything. He moves the driver’s seat down, using some of the tartan blanket for himself. He lays there cocooned with the sleeping Rae, looking at her every now and then to check she’s still breathing. He feels a bit of a knob, but he’s heard a few horror stories about first time pill droppers, and he’s so tired his fears, however irrational, cause him to jolt awake instinctively and listen out for the slow breathing and eye the slow rise and fall of her chest. Soon enough he sees the sun poke out from behind the clouds, and the car is bathed in a bluey pink dawn. He wakes Rae with the squeak of his seat as he readjusts it, the thoughts and fears he’d had a few hours before not far from him. Rae turns, slowly opening her eyes and focussing on Finn. He looks down at her, trying desperately to form some kind of plan. He hadn’t thought about what he’d say before now, had only been concerned with making sure Rae was alright. Now the moment had arrived, and Finn didn’t really know how to proceed.
Rae jolts up and instantly regrets it, croaking out an 'Ow!’ and holding her forehead in her hand with a groan as she returns to her horizontal position.
“You ok?” Finn checks.
“Wouldn’t say that but…I’m only half dead, which is something."
It’s now or never, Finn thinks - he can’t wait any longer. He wants the answers now whilst the questions are still fresh in his mind. He start things slow, and he words his first question as casually as he can.
"Do you remember anything from last night?”
He holds his breath and waiting to hear the answer he’s already predicting as the fog visibly clears from her.
“A little.” she mutters groggily. Please remember. Please remember.
“Do you remember what you said t'me last night?” he probes, surprised at his impatience and lack of tact despite his seemingly patient start. Rae groans and shifts, trying to sit up. Finn helps her, propping her up and pulling up the seat to support her. She squints at him, her gaze flickering over him as she tries to collect the memories, supping them up from some hidden vault in her mind. A flicker of recognition appears, and Finn’s heart leaps a bit.
“You kissed Chloe.” she says simply, and his heart sinks as quickly as it leaps. He’s tired and groggy, too, so his response comes out sharp and sarky.
“You kissed Archie.” Only a beat has passed. “…and Kendo.” Finn says, quieter as Rae looks away, visibly remembering and holding her head in her hand. …and me! But he doesn’t add that.
“Fuckin’ 'ell.” Rae moans to herself, weakly pulling down the sun visor and sinking. Finn sighs, his jaw clenching as he looks out at the morning. It’s a beautiful sight, one that he’s sure they’d both appreciate more if Rae wasn’t half dead with a hangover and he wasn’t frustrated to shit about the predicament he’s in. The silence passes between them, only the sound of Rae opening her window accompanying them. She’s looking away from him completely, Finn ignoring the painted picture in front of him to fix his eyes on the steering wheel. He’d spent all night wondering, going through all the different scenarios in his head, being tormented by stabs of hope and dread in equal bursts. He dimly wonders if Rae even has the ability to keep in line with their conversation, but he figures she started this exchange with her blunt accusation. Maybe she wants to have it out as much as he does, despite her fragile state. Finn throws her a side glance, still can’t look at her.
“Yeah I did kiss Chloe - but I stopped it.”
“Why?” Rae asks, looking back at Finn, bemusement evident in her expression.
“I told her…” Finn begins, and he has a feeling as to where he’s headed with this train of conversation, because frankly his need to vent had reached a peak.
“…I told her I couldn’t kiss 'er because…I like somebody else…which is true…” He manages to look at Rae for a few seconds before looking away once more, down at his legs this time, biting his bottom lip bashfully. He can feel the colour rise in his cheeks and can see Rae continue to frown at him from the corner of his eye. She sounds a little fearful as she asks
“Who?”
Finn fears he might draw blood as he continues to bite down on his bottom lip. He has no idea how to form the words, has no clue as to how he’s going to confess what he’s been wanting to all night long. A memory forms of the pair of them in their room a few days ago, standing in front of his record player as he made his shaky confession. He reaches out and grabs her hand before he loses his nerve.
He opens her palm, which is a little clammy, not that he cares because his are too. He feels himself sweat as he had done a few days ago, can feel the beads break out onto his forehead. He’s keeping things simple as his heart pounds like a freight train, figuring somewhere in the onslaught of erratic thoughts that Rae won’t be able to comprehend much in her current state. He doesn’t breathe as he goes for it. He writes three letters. A simple answer to a simple question. He only exhales after a few eternity long moments of silence pass between them, Rae breaking it with a whispered:
“Bullshit."
He looks up at her then, a frown pulling at his forehead. What does that mean?
"It’s true.” he confirms, voice hard.
“I don’t believe ya.” she whispers, shaking her head slightly.
“I don’t care if you don’t believe me Rae. Look, you said something to me last night…you…you kissed me and you…you said ya loved me.” He can’t look her in the eye as he stutters out the words, his need to convince her helping his inability to form coherent sentences. Even though he’s not looking at her he can tell she’s trying to think back. It doesn’t seem to be getting through, and Finn feels his throat constrict and his chest sear in fear. He looks back at her in time to see her clamp her eyes shut.
“Do…do you remember?” Finn probes, voice quieter now. She nods before shaking her head with an equally quiet: “I’m so sorry. You poor bastard.” her eyes opening but still not returning to him. Finn’s made his confession and feels braver for it - the first hurdle had been faced and leapt over - now he’s facing the second hurdle, and he isn’t about to let Rae go without getting all the answers, whatever they may be.
“Rae, I know you probably feel like twice boiled shit right now but you need to listen to me, alright?” Finn shifts in his seat to face her more head on, the seat squeaking. “Look at me.” She does, still looking pained, embarrassed and much to Finn’s aggravation, sympathetic, like she’d pissed on him or something.
“I ain’t a fuckin’ liar, alright? I’m not messin’ with ya…I mean it. But if you didn’t mean what you said last night…what you did then…” He sighs again, glancing at the floor before forcing his gaze back up, willing himself to keep his cool.
“…just tell me now. I can take it. Do you like me or not?” He’s proud beyond belief that he’s keeping eye contact. She bites her lip, briefly looking away before focussing again, and he wonders if she’s got the same inner dialogue running in her head as he does in his own. One breath, two breaths…he can hear a crow screech in the distance. Just tell me Rae.
She nods slowly. “Yeah…it’s true. I do."
The exchange is hopelessly drowned in unnecessary dread and lumbering miscommunications, so the happiness hits Finn unexpectedly. He feels a smile tug at his lips, his cheeks warming.
"Alright. Well…there it is then.” He resists the urge to beep the horn and go mental, not wanting to cause the girl next to him any more pain. He wonders if Rae still has her severe face on, but he feels his smile grow larger when he notices her fighting a fatigued grin of her own, her head pressed back against the head of the seat as she looks out in front of her at the morning light.
Finn wants to say something else, but he can’t. The moment just hangs there, not being touched by either of them, through choice and circumstance respectively. He turns on the ignition and pulls away, turning the radio on low. Champagne Supernova is playing - perfect tune for a hangover, he thinks.
—
If Rae didn’t feel like hammered shit, she’d have ran out of the car and leapt around the surrounding forestry screaming her tits off in happiness. Part of her thinks she could have dreamt what just happened, has to throw Finn a sneaky glance and subtly pinch herself every now and then as they drive through the streets towards home. She never thought when she woke up beside him that the conversation would go like that, and she suddenly feels a bit sad that the confession she’d been craving for so long had to occur whilst her brains were spilling out of her ears. She can’t help but feel happy though, despite feeling rougher than a farmer’s scrotum.
She suddenly remembers throwing up the night before, and Finn…oh, poor Finn, wiping her mouth with her glove. She wants to turn to him to apologise, but she doesn’t want to drag it all up and remind him. Maybe he’d remember and change his mind?
“Actually Rae - I know I said I liked you and that, but just the reminder of you blowing chunks is making me think twice.”
She catches him looking at the road, his expression no longer weighed down by confusion and moody annoyance. He looks cheerful, at ease, and the sight alone calms her. She doesn’t want to close her eyes but the throbbing in her skull has other ideas.
—
Rae’s fallen asleep again as they pull up, and Finn finds himself watching her for a minute, relishing the pleasant flutter in his chest as it warms him. She doesn’t exactly look like a sleeping angel - she looks rough as rats, but she’s refreshingly real and that’s all that matters to him. He’d been admiring her from afar for a good while, coming to the conclusion that she is indeed sex on legs, and now it had become apparent that she was telling the truth the night before, that her high as a kite outburst reflects her true feelings even in the light of day. He knows she still has a lot to tell him, knows as soon as she’s lucid, maybe even later that day, she’d hopefully spill the beans. She seemed really eager to, and he now knows the gist. He’s ready to know it all, he thinks as Rae slowly stirs, but only time will tell as to how he’ll react. All he knows at that moment is he hopes that as soon as Rae gets whatever it is off her chest they can move forward. He hopes Rae will finally be his girlfriend. Maybe she already is, he couldn’t be sure - they’d confessed their feelings for each other - that means they’re together, right? All would be made clear in due time, after a few hours sleep and a full english. He takes back his rough as rats statement - when her tired eyes flutter open and she stretches, the morning sun dappling across her face, she looks anything but. Finn feels himself beaming like an idiot, and is surprised that Rae manages to smile back at him with almost as much enthusiasm despite her current state.
“Alright?” she offers, her voice gravelly. Fuckin’ over the moon, thanks.
“Y'alright. We’re back at yours."
Rae eyes defocus as she clocks her house behind Finn. She looks a bit stricken, maybe nervous. Finn knows why.
"I think it’ll be alright, Rae. Your Mum’s probably cooled off b'now.” he says comfortingly. Rae looks at him tenderly, as tenderly as she can through her pained squint.
“Thanks for looking after me.” Her voice is smoother now and as tender as her expression.
“No problem. I’d do anything for you.” He looks down at his knees bashfully then, surprised at his sentimental outburst. He can hear Rae’s breath catch in her throat and he dares to look up, finding her clammy pale cheeks are now a vivid shade of pink.
“Me too. For you, I mean.” They sheepishly chuckle in unison, and Finn knows Rae’s trying to break the awkwardness when she forcefully snaps herself out of the romantic zone with a crass: “I tell ya what, my head’s banging.”
Finn’s not ready to let her out of the woods yet, he decides. He looks around briefly, not really giving a shit if anyone’s watching so he doesn’t know why. He unclips his seatbelt and scoots over, Rae’s eyes widening slightly as she tenses. She doesn’t move, however. Finn can feel his heart pound again as he gathers her in his arms, placing his lips against her temple. She falls into it a bit, loosening up as he places warm, long kisses across her forehead. He can feel her index finger link over the neckline of his vest, the sequins of her jacket rough against his arms and open hands. He can feel the hard pound of a heart and he wonders if it’s his or hers, concentrating more and finding that he can feel both his and Rae’s beat almost at the same time. When he’s travelled the width of her head he moves his lips to her closed eyelids, careful not to add too much pressure as he kisses the skin of her right before moving to give her left eye the same attention. He moves back and releases her with it, Rae taking a few moments to come to herself before throwing him another tender smile.
“I’ll see you later on, yeah?” she says, her voice barely there. She coughs to clear her throat, sitting up more as she snaps out of her obvious daze. Finn nods, still reeling himself.
“Yeah.” He isn’t a wordsmith, and he hopes his actions are enough to put across his feelings. The love struck grin Rae carries as she slips out of the car is enough to tell him he’s hit his mark, and the grin doesn’t leave his own face as he watches her wander to her door after she gets her bag from the boot, happy but still very much hungover. She looks back at him and gives him a wave before she steps up into the house. He thinks about the evening ahead - her Mum’s wedding reception. He may not have danced with her at the rave, but maybe they could have a dance at the party, depending on how good it’s going to be. All else fails, if it’s a night of the maca-fuckin’-rana and Wet Wet Wet, they can sit on the sidelines taking the piss. He doesn’t mind which one. When he realises he’s been sitting outside Rae’s house for two minutes just staring at her doorway like a knob head he revs up the engine, slapping on the radio and speeding off, wondering if Chop’s as happy as he is right now.