Hey idk who needs this but helpful reminder that "virgin blood" in any witchcraft shit that requires that means "virgin" in the same sense as "virgin hair" means hair that hasn't been dyed or processed in any way, natural in the default sense. So no, "virgin blood" doesn't mean blood from a virgin, just blood that hasn't been used for any other kind of witchy shit earlier.
Whether nor not someone has fucked before is completely irrelevant. Any act of fucking doesn't instantly make someone contaminated or un-magic any of their shit. You're just not supposed to re-use blood for blood magic. That's just not. Just do not. Like that's just weird who does that.
Unles you've like, poured out ALL OF YOUR BLOOD, used it for a spell, and then somehow SIPHONED THE WHOLE THING BACK IN, that doesn't mean the blood on the inside of you is also used. And even then, if you'd had your sacrifical blood IV'd back into your body-
actually nevermind, I need to draw a graph to illustrate:
"Would you love me if I was a worm?" The second it passed Jabber's lips Zanka paused. The raider's smile grew wider as each second passed, holding back snickers as Zanka's face shifted between various stages of confusion. He swung his foot carelessly, sitting on the edge of the fallen wall with Jabber leaning annoyingly against him. Out in the wastes, just the two of them, no one else to hear that stupid question.
"Yes." Zanka said simply. Jabber grinned, but his boyfriend had an oddly serious look on his face. "I think I would."
"You think?"
"Well, It would be interesting to see a worm with your bloodlust. After all, worms are fairly docile. It would be kinda cute to see you try and bite me." Zanka smiled. As he went on, Jabber's amusement dwindled to a humble disbelief. "Plus, you'd be easy to keep since you'd be so small. I could make a little tank for you. Of course, I would need water in there to keep you hydrated... The only downside I can think of is that wouldn't be able to be... intimate anymore. But, that's a good trade off for you being silent." Zanka shrugged. When he looked back at Jabber he was just staring at him, almost mindlessly. "...Why? Were you planning on becoming a worm anytime soon."
"...Uh... Nah... not really."
"Idiot." The cleaner scoffed. "What about you? Would you love me if I was a worm?"
"Huh oh... sure. I'd just keep you in my pocket-"
"I'd die in there."
"I'll pour some water in there sometimes I guess-"
"You could have just said no."
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"Would you love me if I lost all my teeth?" Jabber asked, leaning back in Zanka's desk chair. He was waiting for Zanka to finish his nightly routine with Lovely Assistaff. He looked at him, a hopeful look in his eyes. Zanka continued to oil his staff, glancing over at Jabber with a light smile.
"...It would be nice to get head from you and NOT worry about you biting my dick off. So, that's a major plus already." The second Zanka began weighing the pros and cons Jabber got more excited. He listened intently, his eyes big. "You'd have a harder time talking, also a good thing... but you'd be limited in what you eat and while that doesn't effect me too much I would miss how excited you get when we get wings... plus you couldn't eat the bones anymore like a wild animal and honestly I've... always thought it was kind of adorable when you do that."
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah, I don't know... I used to be put off by it but it grew on me..."
"Huh..."
"Plus, I guess if you had no teeth that means no more love bites... and... I like those too much to part with them. But... if I'd still have you then that's okay..." Zanka admitted, red in the face. Jabber let out a loving sigh. "What about you? Would you love me if I had no teeth?"
"...Hmm I don't know... You'd look weird-"
"Good to know that's your line-"
"Nah, I'm joking. I would. Promise." Zanka couldn't help but smile hearing that. Jabber let him finish his routine uninterrupted.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"Would you kiss someone else for 10 million Galla?"
"Yes." When Zanka answered Jabber felt his eye twitch. Zanka wasn't even looking at him. They were lying on the ground, bruised and bloody after a fun night. They were staring at the sky, catching their breath after that workout. "Easily-"
"Easily?" Jabber sneered, turning his head to glare at his boyfriend. Zanka still didn't look at him. "You'd really kiss someone else for money?"
"Yeah. I get 10 million and get to watch my possessive boyfriend go crazy on somebody." Zanka tried to laugh but the pain in his stomach kept him from being too gleeful. That explanation started to calm the raider. "I... I've never told you this before... but I kind like that crazy look in your eye you get when you get jealous." Jabber was speechless, looking over at Zanka. "It makes me feel... wanted, I guess. The idea that you would tear through anyone and anything for me... of all people... it's comforting, I guess." Jabber still didn't know what to say, embarrassed at how out of control his heart was. "What about you? Would you kiss someone else for 10 million Galla?"
"...No... I got everything I want... but if you promise to go just as crazy on whoever I kiss, that would be pretty fun to watch."
"I would. No worries."
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"If I was in your ex's body and they were in mine, who would you kiss first?"
"Oh, that's a tough one," Zanka tapped his chin, thinking it over. He had raised the spoon to his mouth but the broth was pouring out of it as he was lost in thought. Jabber waited patiently, ignoring his own food as he did so. "Uh... I don't know. Genuinely. How do I switch you back?"
"Let's say you can't."
"Fuck... uh.. I guess I'd take you with my ex's body I guess... I don't want to but I fell for your personality so..."
"Aww really?"
"Yeah, it shocks me too, but I did." Zanka's little jab got the raider to laugh. The cleaner smiled, always warmed by that sound. "You'd probably enjoy having boobs, so you wouldn't mind the switch too much."
"...That does sound nice... Are they big?"
"Nah, not really." Zanka shook his head. "...Damn, but I'd miss sleeping with you. This is the worst one you've ever asked me.... What about you? What if I swapped with your ex?"
"Threesome-"
"Damn, why didn't I think of that?" Zanka dropped his spoon back in his bowl and Jabber's rampant laughter followed.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"If we were trapped somewhere and you died first would you let me eat you?"
"...Yes..." Zanka pondered that one, leaning on his hand as he began to mull it over. Jabber snickered about it, snuggling up to Zanka's chest. In the afterglow, the raider was always rather affectionate, kissing at Zanka's chest . "Sure. Yeah, go for it."
"Really?"
"I mean... if I died, I think I'd be okay with that... if it kept you alive for a little longer..."
"Aw, babe," Jabber playfully bit Zanka's shoulder, forcing a laugh from the cleaner. He had to keep it quiet though, not wanting to wake anyone around HQ. "I'll keep that in mind~"
"You're going to eat me dick first, aren't you?"
"Well... See, I don't know," Jabber laid his head on his chest, making the cleaner snort. He could hear his heartbeat. "I wanna... but also, I kinda want to save it for last so I can use it-"
"What the fu- With what bloodflow, idiot?"
"Oh, you know what, you're right. Yeah, then I'd eat it first." Zanka's snickering had Jabber bouncing on his chest. He loved it, clinging to the cleaner.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"If I got into a really weird kink, would you try it for me-"
"That's our whole relationship, Jabber." That response got the raider to howl, his laughter filling the area. The only louder sound was the rain. Their walk was interrupted by it, the two seeking shelter under a little abandoned shack. "Do you really think I was getting stabbed during handjobs in my last relationship?"
"I mean like, REALLY weird shit."
"I choke you, sometimes-"
"Think weirder."
"You're into blood play, Jabs-"
"Like WAY WEIRDER."
"Weirder than when I step on your-"
"YES. Weirder!"
"...Like what?" Zanka was afraid when Jabber leaned over. He whispered in his ear. Zanka's confusion bloomed into disgust and horror and back to disgust. Jabber's giggling in between wasn't helping either. "Wh-Wait- NO, NO! No way!"
"Really, No?"
"NO!"
"Not even for me~?"
"Absolutely not!"
"I've found your limit," Jabber teased, feeling proud of himself as he leaned back on his hands. Zanka looked at him, his brows knitted. Jabber enjoyed his victory... for a moment.
"...Once." Jabber thought he didn't hear that for a second. He looked over, his breath caught in his throat as he looked at the resignation on Zanka's face. "...For you... I might... try once."
"...Wait, really?" Jabber's voice was soft, a mix of touched and in disbelief. "For me?"
"Yeah... I mean... I do a lot of things with you I never thought I'd do so... what's one more?" Jabber couldn't help but just stare at him, a harsh blush taking over his face. Zanka chuckled weakly, seeing the effect that had on the raider. "...Everything alright?"
"...I love you."
"Love you too... So uh... enough with the dumb ass questions, okay?"
Dick: wait- does this mean that the og JL is just one big family at this point?
Bruce: ... what?
Dick: I mean- I married Wally, who's now leaglly Barry's and Hal's, which makes them your in-law. Jason married Roy, which makes Oliver your in-law, and the rest of you are dating a Super, I feel like that does make the JL a family business
Batboys who, when they’ve upset someone in their lives who they care about, just buy them copious amounts of things they like because that’s how Bruce tries to rectify his small mistakes with his children
Wally: Hey, Dick? Did you order basketball tickets?
Dick: Oh, yeah. Last week. I ate your leftovers and you were upset about it, so I got you tickets for your favorite team in apology.
Wally: …thank you? Weren’t these expensive though? It’s the finals.
Dick: :)
Roy: Hey, Jaybird, did you get a new toolbox?
Jason: It has your name engraved on it.
Roy: I saw that.
Jason: Apology for when I forgot to lock the bedroom door when you asked, and Lian walked in on us
Roy: That was, like, a month ago? And I wasn’t even mad?
Jason: Engraving takes a long time.
Tim: To make up for missing our last date due to work, I made reservations and laid out outfits for both of you on the bed.
Bernard (in the bedroom with Kon): I don’t remember these being in our closet?
Kon: Since when did you have that necklace?
Bernard: And you those earrings? Shit, is that diamond?
Kon: Oh, I see what’s happening. Tim does this when he feels guilty.
Bernard: I hate rich people so much.
Damian: Hello.
Jon (jumping): Oh…hey? How did you get here? And when? I thought you said you were busy today and couldn’t hang out.
Damian: Irrelevant. I have a gift.
Jon: Oh my god! Is that a signed guitar?
Damian: …do you like it?
Jon: Yes, duh. But, how? Why? When?
Damian (climbing out the bedroom): Bye.
Clark (walking into Jon’s room): Oh, you and Damian made up?
Jon: WE WERE FIGHTING?
(Bonus SuperBat)
Clark (to his mom on the phone, walking into his Daily Planet office): Me and B were in a bit of a fight last night. Nothing big, but I feel bad about it. He slept in the guest room- holy shit.
Martha: What? You ok?
Clark: Yeah, yeah. I just walked into my office and…like everything’s been upgraded?
Martha: …what?”
Clark: There’s a really nice keyboard and computer and one of those fancy desk chairs and…oh. Hey, B.
Bruce (in the corner of the room): Good?
Clark: Uhhh…yes?
Bruce: :)
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