[colorsofmars]

my colors are not mine anymore

they belong to the world i used

to live in

they belong to the ones who

stole them

i used to be bright golden

now im silenced

in dark black.

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[colorsofmars]

[colorsofmars]

i tried to be special

i tried to be unique

so i caged myself

and painted my hands

with less blue

and brush my hair

with my fingers

to be natural i said.

it is not easy to love a narcissist

i walk everyday with my wounds open

until this haunt become something

beautiful again.

[colorsofmars]

how many nights do i wonder

how you feel about me

if you ever think of me

at least for one second

how many days do i wish

i could spend with you

laughing

and crying

because our love is destiny

to be a tragedy.

[colorsofmars]

I wish I were louder outside my body and pretend I don't care.

Does anyone care? It feels weird when you read my words, knowing every morning I'll be someone different.

[colorsofmars]

Crimson, maroon.

Every red she grabbed.

Sun is in Leo.

[colorsofmars]

words slips out

of your tongue, silkfully

hurts inwards.

[colorsofmars]

i dodged another demon

as I reshaped myself

because life is merciless

we go from one mistake

to another

and let that big black bird

sing the same song

all over again.

[colorsofmars]

[colorsofmars]

coffee, frozen stares

how many wonderful things the world has

but i can see none

maybe if i rise from the pile of mistakes

and turn every silent moon into

laughter

i learn a little bit about loving myself.

[colorsofmars]

[colorsofmars]

mercury is in

retrograde while i

crave to exist.

[colorsofmars]

may i stay or leave

things i can do

but not love myself

[colorsofmars]

heal to start

and spread ashes

to your future.

[colorsofmars]

my body is just an extention

of a legion past lives

and different journeys

my body is a sunflower in motion

a hand full of ethnicities

a palette of ambiguities

who am i to prove that my heritage

matters.

[colorsofmars]

I hide inside a zaphire building while

my city is fighting against toxic smoke,

while my mind is in a crisis,

while my summer feels like a rainy day,

while my prescription is unfinished.

But what is madness if it comes

from the root of an exhausted heart.

Every now and then I think about you

and how you doing

especially in rush hour,

I wonder if you whispered my name into oblivion.

This loneliness feels really different,

I begin to practice meditations

and breathing

yes,

even with all the smoke

I feel I can carry on.

[colorsofmars]

In this endless possibilites

of living in all directions.

I have to give up to

the different parts of me

that still loves me.

I’m in a jail thinking about

reincarnation,

a new life that is full of linen smells,

a new life without hell

a new life without the taste

of your own blood.

The parts that belong to me

are still incomplete

and the hard work

of living in one direction

feels almost like dying.