much of my work consists of complex psychological concepts and at times, dark topics which include ( but are not limited to ) : depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, sexual assault, poverty, traumatic experiences, etc. i write about these topics, not to make light of them, but to bring comfort inclusivity to those who have gone through similar experiences. this is not a space to judge others for their mental/relational struggles, so pleace be mindful in the comments. thank you.
˗ˏˋ⋆˚꩜｡ ⁞ . . . blog status ⤑ active, slow updates
ৎ୭ . . for the time being, requests are closed as i am working on two very long fanfics.
wrote a tamsy fic about a reader who self sabotages and matches tamsy's freak and now im debating writing a tamsy fic with a reader who's self sacrificial (because this is how i cope)
im starting to realize that complex readers are my favorite people to write (because i am one myself 🥀)
tags *ೃ༄ tame angst, nonsexual nudity, brief makeout, yandere tamsy, tamsy is his own warning, manga spoilers for tamsy, reader was kidnapped
summary *ೃ༄ living on the sphere wasn't everything it was cracked up to be now that you were there.
note *ೃ༄ i finished the other tamsy fic i was working on & now i'm just editing it, but that shit ended up being 25k words someone save me <//3 y'all can have this oneshot in the meanwhile :3
masterlist *ೃ༄
It's difficult to get used to living on the Sphere.
Sure, you're confined to a bedroom for most of the day, but even then — it's vastly different to what you're used to. The bedroom can hardly be called a bedroom; It's huge, and inside it lay clean furniture and trinkets you never would have thought if setting your sights on when you were on the ground.
To see the brightness of a clear sky, the blinding sun and the shining moon.. clean, breathable air that made you grateful to have lungs.. it was all so.. new?.
No, it was foreign.
Even if you were a cleaner and were aware of the organization's goal to learn about the Sphere, actually living on it was different than what you thought it would be. It was everything many wished for, but all you could feel was hollow. Like you didn't belong up here.
The steady dripping of a golden faucet reminded you of your reality. It was night on the sphere and here you were taking an impromptu bath to calm your troubled heart. The bath was filled with bubbles and rose petals, real rose petals. . .
"Delmon would be ecstatic. . ." you smile bitterly as you watch a petal float on the soapy water in your hand. The lights were off but you had lit lavender candles instead and with the moonlight pouring in through the window, it was all the light you needed.
You hum a lullaby to comfort you but its of no use. With a tired sigh, you lay your head on your crossed arms at the edge of the tub, looking out through the window. The tub is huge for just one person, but you guess that being the prince's lover will get you things like this. The golden wedding band lays indifferently on the tray that sits on the far end of the bathtub along with a book you'd abandoned.
The dull night and warm atmosphere lulled you to sleep, so when you felt the water slosh around suddenly, you were slowly awoken from your short slumber.
You look over at him blearily, your eyes still riddled with sleep and your cheek smushed against your forearm.
"The water's cold." You don't know whether you mean that as a statement or as a warning but either way, he pays no mind to your delivery.
"And yet, you fell asleep anyway." He smiles warmly — beckoning you over to him with open arms as he settles into the tub. He turns the faucet on again and the warm water slowly returns while the cold water drains out.
You wordlessly move to sit at his side, laying your head on the crook of his neck as his hand settles on your waist, drawing lazy circles on the skin. His touch no longer felt like fire that left a passionate anticipation in its wake, it felt . . hollow.
Even if he claimed to love you, he still barely had any time to see you like he used to when the both of you were on the ground.
"I miss it." you speak quietly.
"Miss what, dear?"
You nuzzle into the crook of his neck to hide yourself, or perhaps you're seeking a comfort you've long been deprived of.
"The ground. ." your husband remained silent, allowing you to continue on with your train of thought. "I miss seeing the kids run around, Rudo and Dear would always be fighting over sweets. . I miss my home. ."
Tamsy parts from you lightly to hold your chin softly in between his index and thumb. His golden eyes don't look as bright as they used to. "This is your home now, with me. . .is that not enough?"
Your lips tremble but you don't have it in you to cry anymore. You'd done enough of that when you first arrived. So instead, you unhook your chin from his fingers and leave his side to resume your position prior to his arrival. He sighs and you glance at him, watching him lay his back against the edge with his arms stretched out over the porcelain edges.
"We've had this conversation before, my love. It simply takes-"
"-time?" You finish for him, your voice tired and worn. "No amount of time is going to erase the fact that I don't. . I don't belong here."
"Here on the sphere, or here with me?"
"You deserve better than me."
"There is no one more suitable for me than yourself, dearest."
"You deserve someone who can love.. all of you. ."
The sound of water swishing reaches your ears and by the time you glance to your side, he's there with that pained expression that makes you feel guilty for even suggesting you couldn't love him wholly. You look away before that heavy feeling can make a home in your stomach.
"But you do love me dearest, do you not?"
You meet his eyes cautiously, "I do. . did. I loved the Tamsy that looked out for me on the field, the Tamsy that respected my space — The one who was gentle and kind.. who loved me."
His hand creeps up your nape as his fingers get aquatinted with the tender skin of your scalp. His nails slightly scratched as if to calm you.
You turned to look at him.
"Darling, i love you so much that I brought you here for your own safety. . You understand that, do you not?"
You look away again, disappointed by his answer.
"I was safe down there, with Enjin and Delmon, with the cleaners-"
"In a place where you could die from breathing the wrong kind of oxygen? I doubt that can be called safety."
You sharply turn to meet his eyes and his hand falls into the water. "It was my home, Tamsy!"
"Was." he asserts.
You stare at him incredulously for a moment before standing and getting out of the tub. You grabbed a towel and dried yourself off as you spat, "Talking to you is pointless when you don't care at all about how I feel. You're selfish."
"You forget that I essentially saved you from dealing with all the strife that plagues those who live on the Ground." he reasons, the sounds of water swishing as he follows after you.
"I would have gladly chosen strife if it meant I could live in a place where I had my friends and my life all figured out — where people cared. I'm tired of being confined to this place like some sort of trophy."
"Do you suggest I allow you to go out? To interact with strangers who barely know you?-"
"No!" you turn, tears finally cascading from your cheeks as you look up at him and grab at his robe tightly as if that'd help him understand.
It doesn't.
"I just want you to take me back! Thats all i want! I want to go home.." Your voice breaks as you lay your forehead against his chest. You can hear shallow, calm breathing; you can feel his warm hands come up to hold you.
You can feel everything except the supposed 'love' he has for you.
"I can't take you back there. ." he whispers softly. "I can't trust them to take care of you down there, don't you understand that much? I love you too much to let you go, my dearest — If that is what you call selfishness, then so be it."
You sob, "You're horrible and unbearable— despicable. i hate you."
And you don't exactly mean that, but you want to hurt him like he's hurting you. You doubt its effectiveness, though.
"Angel," he muses as he lifts your head up, "Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. To hate, you have to have loved."
And as much as you want to do something — anything — that would get you out of his arms and into the familiarity of your old home, you succumb to the temptation of his lips when he leans down to brush against your chapped lips. You reward his venomous kiss with a traitorous swipe of your tongue and in doing so, throw away any dignity that could have been found in your words.
No matter how much your heart wished to go back, your body would betray you every step of the way.
He was your new home, whether you liked it or not, and you'd do well to remember that.
genuinely how it feels to craft a complex reader that doesnt just suck up to tamsy and instead challenges him and his evil ways while still being in love with him to a very toxic degree:
dawg im literally 8k words in and i have YET to write the tension between these two 🥹✌️
genuinely how it feels to craft a complex reader that doesnt just suck up to tamsy and instead challenges him and his evil ways while still being in love with him to a very toxic degree:
dawg im literally 8k words in and i have YET to write the tension between these two 🥹✌️
genuinely how it feels to craft a complex reader that doesnt just suck up to tamsy and instead challenges him and his evil ways while still being in love with him to a very toxic degree:
dawg im literally 8k words in and i have YET to write the tension between these two 🥹✌️
tags : nsfw, breath play, nothing too major but as always, mdni.
.
.
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ . . . despite not going by any labels, you have a way of confusing him.
tamsy isn't the first control-freak you've been with. on the Ground, you've met plenty of egocentric, controlling and possessive men; men so obsessed with power that they'd burn themselves along with the rest of the world as long as they were the ones who lit the match. men of this caliber were always easy to manipulate because of their one-track minds.
but tamsy was .. different.
he was wrong in every way and yet, so right for you.
because for tamsy, his control over others wasn't the power-hungry kind — for him, it was an act of love. looking back now, it was probably the fact that something was deeply wrong with him that you even glanced in his direction.
the coexistence of the tamsy everyone knew at HQ and the tamsy that ravaged you every night — they were two different people cohabiting the same body.
and you couldn't be more turned on by it.
"..i like seeing you this way," you breathe out softly as you loosen the buttons on his white dress shirt. the scars that littered his body seemed more like embellishments on fine jewelry rather than scars the more you gazed upon them.
tamsy smiles lazily, his fingers softly gripping the plump flesh of your hips. "do you, now?"
"mhm," you lean down, grazing your lips against his own, to which he then meets you halfway and closes the gap completely.
in this room, his own actions are the only things he has control over. for so long, he'd believed that those who challenged his nature were incredibly naïve and would meet their end via their own folly soon enough — however, you were anything but.
to you, control was an illusion. a childish game.
the thing that tamsy held over everyone was somehow nonexistent when it came to you. you existed outside of it, even when the pinnacle of it was underneath the softness of your thighs. even when you were at your most vulnerable, he could never exert his own power over you.
and it wasn't because he wouldn't, after all, you know how much he gets off on it.
it was simply because his demands would go in through one ear and out the other.
he learned very quickly that you were a fire he couldn't tame. one he wasn't sure he even wanted to tame for the first time in his life.
the pads of your fingers graze the skin of his chest until they sit comfortable at his throat, carefully pressing on his jugular veins to restrict his breath; the feeling was akin to being high and while he much preferred being the one with his hands around your neck, you had a habit of subverting every single one of his desires.
you pressed tenderly on his neck as you kissed him, as if he were some delicate trinket, while his tongue swirled around your own in languid motions. with you, there was always this balance between raw, lustful desire and the tender illusion of passion.
sex between the two of you was less of an act and more of a conversation.
"nmh.." you sigh as he continues making out with you, toying with the hem of your panties as you methodically begin rubbing yourself against his tented pants. he smiles as he breaks the kiss to suckle on the skin of your breasts; his teeth toying with it and his tongue smoothing out the bite afterwards.
he likes to think that he's letting you get off on the friction his hard-on provides for you, yet forgets completely that his own hands are the ones guiding your hips closer to where he needs you. its slow and torturous, the way the fabric of his pants rub against your clit so deliciously well. leaning down, your teeth find purchase on the skin between his shoulder and his neck while he grinds your hips down on himself.
he's shameless in the way he's breathing into your ear, whispering how needy you are. "weren't we only making out?" he whispers, sending shivers down your spine and causing you to grind deeper onto him.
you kitten-lick the fresh bite on his skin and return his whispers, "who said this was anything else..?"
he could cum right there and then if had hadn't a lick of dignity left. unfortunately for you, you're met with a chuckle and a smile that could fool you into thinking he was an angel.
one of his hands travels up to find its place on your waist as the other tugs your panties to the side, teasingly collecting your slick with his middle digit and slowly rubbing it up and down your slit. he's slow with it because he's testing your patience. despite all the times you guys have made out before, he's never once seen you surrender to him completely.
and in his own twisted way, its the thing he adores most about you.
.
.
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⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ . . . m.list tba
note : i know this was just some over the clothes stuff but i'm trying to get familiar with writing sex scenes soo feedback would be appreciated 🥹🥹
tags *ೃ༄ angst, mentions of canon typical violence, fluff, happy ending, reader and madara end up married, madara and reader have kids
summary *ೃ༄ a continuation of the story of how your relationship with him came to be.
note *ೃ༄ i love him so much in this series...
masterlist *ೃ༄ || series masterlist *ೃ༄
“My dream.. Is for you to be at peace.”
The sun began to set, it bathed the two of you in its soft golden rays as it hid behind the mountains. The fluff of the clouds graced the skies as the wind swept around Madara and you, as if to wrap you up together. Madara always looked calmer when he was with you.
Then again, he supposed it was because he had always been comfortable with you, ever since the two of you were barely fledgelings in the forest.
“For me to be at peace?” Madara looked away from you and to the thriving village being built before him.. And you. His eyes searched for something but you weren’t quite sure what.
“You’re always fighting, even now that the village is being built — You’re still fighting.” you noted.
He glanced at you, who was at his side. He remembered his last altercation with your brother, how you sat at his side ready to heal him once your brother called for it. You were always so considerate of him, it was a quality he used to deem a weakness back when he viewed your clan as his enemy. Now that the two of your clans stood on the same side.. He quite liked that about you.
“Is that so? What makes you say that?” Madara inquired, leaning back on his palms while he sat beside you on the cliff. Of course, he knew he had been dealing with a lot due to the Uchiha growing more distant from him despite him being their clan’s leader. He and his clan had different views and he wasn’t quite sure how to take it.
And as if to shed a light on the problems he kept to himself, you spoke again. “I’ve heard things among the Uchiha..”
He turned to you, his expression placid. Madara sighed, “So you know they do not trust me.”
“I know that you’re doing what you think is best for the clan..” Your voice was one of understanding. There was a softness to it that Madara wasn’t used to. He wasn’t a man of many words and he hated when people hesitated to say what they wanted. He was more accustomed to the yelling and the fighting — maybe that’s why he felt he was incompatible with the peace that had settled between the Uchiha and the Senju. “But the times are changing- Our people are changing. It's hard to adjust after centuries of fighting, but I know that you have the strength to adapt.”
He gazed up at you as you stood from your sitting position, you looked determined from the way your sights were set on the village below. Then, you looked down to him, who was still sitting down. “I won’t let your efforts go to waste. So.. you can’t let them either.”
“Are you asking me or is that an order?” He stood up and smirked, he spoke with a playful edge to his question.
You smiled up at him, “In my life, I have never asked for anything. Not once. So, I trust that you’ll take into consideration what I am asking of you.” His black eyes met yours and for the first time in years, you saw a glimmer of warmth in them. He scoffed and walked past you. Your eyes lingered on him as you watched him walk away, only to stop for a moment.
“..I’ll consider it.”
—
After that conversation on the cliffside with Madara, your brothers started the talk on politics. Hashirama wanted Madara to be named Hokage over the village, but with his image and his past, Tobirama was opposed to it.Things were busier than ever following the end of the war and it stressed you out, sure, but you weren’t going to let Tobirama run the Uchiha name through the mud, not when the both of your clans had made the decision to come together and be at peace.
“It’s not a wise decision to outright make him Hokage just because you want to, brother.” Tobirama sat on the table and looked over some documents. “The village people don’t trust him. I don’t trust him.”
Your arms were crossed. You weren’t pleased with the way Tobirama was talking about them — or him. You never were. ‘There’s always room for improvement. We can’t just assume he’s a danger based on the fact that you don’t trust him, brother.” You weren’t for nor against Madara becoming Konhagakure’s leader. If he had the leadership skills and was able to handle the job, you didn’t mind it one way or the other.
Tobirama sighed, “I’m just trying to say that it would be a better idea to let the people choose.”
Standing up, you decided that that was the best course of action. “It would, That way it’s fair to everyone. If that’s all, I’ll be taking my leave.” Hashirama nodded and bid you goodnight while Tobirama stayed behind with your older brother. Before you left, you turned to smile at them. “-and don’t stay here too late. If we’re trying to establish a government, we need to be well-rested.”
Hashirama chuckled, “We will. There’s no need to worry.” So with one last glance, you walked out of the office and headed out.
You looked around the streets and saw the dim light of shops being built still and a few campsites around the area. It was a work in progress, sure. But it was yours. It was Hashirama’s. It was Madara’s. For the future of the Uchiha, the Senju, the clans that had joined you and the other clans to come. As you walked around, you picked up the scent of freshly cut wood, water and.. Noodles? As you turned the corner, the smell of noodles and broth led you to a small restaurant where some of the other business began to open up.
The kana on the curtains read : ‘Ichiraku’ and you discerned that the aroma was coming from there. So without a moment's hesitation, you parted the curtains and looked around the quaint eatery. The cushioning on the stool was comfortable and the counters were clean — The businessman was clearly doing well for himself from the looks of it.
“Ah! Welcome, welcome! You’re ______ Senju- Hashirama’s sister, right? It’s an honor to see you!” said the young cook. You smiled at the warm welcome, it had dawned on you that people would probably regard you highly, especially since you had helped end the century-long war.
“Please, don’t mind me..!” You straightened up a bit, “The food here smells amazing, are you still open? I understand it’s quite late.”
The young cook waved you off, “Ah, Don’t mind that! Just for you, I have room for one more order, or two.” He chuckled a little and got to work on the noodles. “What would you like to order?” You looked up to the menu and saw various dishes that seemed way too good to eat. You couldn't decide for the life of you, so you told the young cook to give you the first dish he had ever made.
As you waited for your noodles to be served, you heard the ruffling of fabric. When you glanced back, you were surprised to see Madara standing there. He blinked. You blinked.
“What are-”
“What are you-” ..
“You first,” You chuckled.
He smiled a little while taking a seat next to you. “I heard your voice and well, It’s late so I was wondering what you were doing here.”
You nodded in understanding. You opened your mouth to respond but before you could, the young cook placed an appetizing bowl of noodles in front of you. “Here you go! Enjoy them and tell me what you think.”
“Will do.” You offered a smile before bringing the bowl closer and taking some chopsticks from the cup. “Anyway, I was just looking around the shops n’ found this place. The noodles smell good so I thought: ‘why not?’”
Madara rested his chin on his palm while he looked at you. You seemed so eager to have a bite and wondered for a moment what your expression would look like once you tasted the noodles. You raised your chopsticks and wasted no time in taking the first bite. Just as he expected, a bewildered expression graced your features not long after you took a bite.
You noted his gaze on you from the corner of your eye mid-bite. Thinking it weird for him to have his sights so ..set on you, you offered a bite to him. “Do you.. Want some?”
“Huh-? Oh, no it’s fine, i’m fine.” He stammered.
You smiled awkwardly, finding it humorous for a man like him to be stuttering. “You sure? You keep looking at my food…”
“I was looking at you.” he deadpanned.
“Oh?-”
“-cause you looked dumb.” He said, “Like a kid, getting happy over a mere bowl of noodles.. Stupid..” he muttered that last part under his breath.
You, knowing him like the back of your hand, saw his weak defense. There was clearly something more to the way he was looking at you, but you left it alone. You didn’t want to push him.
About an hour later, you were caught up talking the night away with Madara. You’d finished your bowl of noodles about thirty minutes ago, but just speaking and catching up with him after years of not knowing anything about him left you curious. The two of you laughed over the differences between clans, the awkwardness of residing next to one another and finally, the present and near future.
“And how are they reacting? Better I hope..?”
He reluctantly nodded, “Something like that. I think if I continue this overtime, I’ll gain their trust back.”
A warm smile found its way onto your lips upon hearing the news. “I think you will, all we need is time.” You looked up at the moon. It was smack dab in the middle of the sky, evidence that it was way past the time you usually slept at. But for some odd reason, you didn’t feel tired. Walking with him through the dirt roads was therapeutic for you in a way. “I wish my brother understood that..” you sighed.
“Hashirama?”
You shook your head, “The other one.”
Madara sighed heavily, “Ah, Tobirama.. I believe he hates me, he thinks I'm a threat, correct?”
You nodded, “Yeah.. To put it bluntly, I think he’s still caught up in the old ways.. Though I can’t blame him. But still.. I think you’d be a great Hokage, given the chance.”
“Hokage? Me?” Madara chuckled. “Is that what the three of you are trying to decide?”
“We need to establish our leader but I don’t want it to be the three of us deciding that. Tobirama thinks the people should choose — and frankly I agree with him.” You continued walking the dirt roads with him. Amidst these hectic days, the times when you got to see Madara or just speak with him were the times you cherished more.
Around him, you didn’t have to be a political leader or uphold public appearance. WIth him, you could just be.
As the two of you wandered around, white particles around the two of you began to fall. The beginnings of winter, it seemed. “Do you like the snow?” Madara asked you. His demeanor notably softened after your time spent at the restaurant.
“I do, actually. I never got to enjoy it much, though.” You reached out a hand to the snowing sky. It was the end of the month, soon it’d be the start of a new year.
“Why not?”
“Bloodstains.” you said simply. “There was always bloodstains.”
Madara didn’t respond. He just watched as you collected particles of snow on your hands, watching them melt due to the warmth you emitted. You always had a habit of leaving him speechless. “Not this year,” he said. He spoke with such certainty that you grew curious of his thoughts. Did he have faith in this village? Did he think it would work in the long-run?
“You sound so sure of yourself.” You spoke, with a slight smile as you watched the snow turn into tiny water droplets on your palm.
He turned to face you, you were compelled to gaze at him in the same way.
“If there’s one thing you’ve taught me, it’s to have.. Hope.” The word felt foreign on his tongue, but he couldn’t think of a better one. It was true, after all. Since the two of you were kids, you’d always had an inextinguishable hope. One that nobody, not even him in his most regrettable moments, could put out.
“I..” You didn’t know what to say to that. You were proud, of course, but .. It was odd to hear him so optimistic. “Really?”
He nodded, a smile gracing his lips as he looked down at you. “I used to think it was trivial, that it was just some flimsy thought to make yourself better.. I saw how the village only kept thriving, how more and more clans kept joining us and..” The warmth in his eyes was unlike you’d ever seen before. “I realized you and Hashirama were right. We were still able to achieve the peace between clans that we’d always dreamed of, thanks to the two of you.”
“And you.” you nudged him playfully. “You were the one who accepted Hashirama’s offer, so it’s thanks to you too.”
Madara never thought a smile could look as pretty as yours, it was something that remained unchanging.
Even after choosing to marry him years after the establishment of Konoha and even after giving him three children of his own — your smile remained the light in his life. Madara would never forget how happy you looked when you first got to enjoy the snow in the forest, or the countless dates at Ichiraku that you dragged him to simply because it was the first meal the two of you had eaten together.
Now, the two of you were older.. And parents at that. But that only made his love for you increase evermore. He never would have imagined himself to be your husband or the father that you made him, but he wouldn’t exchange it for anything else. You had made his dreams possible and he only hoped that he had made yours possible as well.
As he gazed down at your sleeping form on the day after his birthday, Christmas day, he could only smile and place a chaste kiss on your forehead. To his surprise, you smiled at his gesture, which only served to give you away. “Awake are we?”
You nodded and adjusted your position to lay your head in his lap. “I have been, for a while now actually. I was wondering when you were gonna notice.” Your voice had a playful lilt to it. He had grown accustomed to it by now.
He chuckled at your words. “Oh I noticed alright. I’ve been up longer than you have.”
You smiled playfully and sat up to look at him better. “Liar.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You poked his cheek before getting up to head to the closet. Unbeknownst to your husband, you had made a little present for him and hid it in the closet so he wouldn’t find it. He lifted a brow when he watched you come back and offered a small box to him, wrapped in red gift-wrap and tied with a black ribbon. “What’s the occasion?”
Now it was your turn to laugh. “It’s Christmas, did you forget?”
“Oh.” He accepted your gift and looked at the carefully wrapped box. “No, I didn’t.”
“Alright well, open it!” You sat in front of him, eager to see his reaction. “It may not be the best, but I tried to make it myself instead of just buying it.”
“..?” He carefully lifted the top part of the box and was surprised to see a hair accessory- A handmade hair tie to be exact. “You made this yourself?” He lifted it up to inspect it. The tie was made up of red threads, it felt soft in his hand so he guessed silk. It had accents of black along the ends of it as well.
You nodded, “I did. I wanted it to be a little more special.”
Your thoughtfulness brought a smile to his face. “Do you want to tie it on for me?” With a nod, you made your way to his side and began braiding a bit of his spikey black hair. “A braid?”
“Mhm, I like how they look on you.”
A familiar warmth set in his heart as you watched you carefully braid through his hair. Sometimes, he thought you loved his hair more than him but you always denied it saying that you loved his hair because of him (and that he’d better not cut it off ever because he’d be six feet under before he ever thought of doing such a thing.)
A comfortable silence had settled in between the two of you before Madara broke it.
“Has your dream come true?”
You weaved the strands of hair meticulously. “My dream? About the village?”
He shook his head a little, careful not to disturb your work. “The other one.”
It took you some time to find what dream he was talking about, until the memory flashed in your mind. “The one I told you about back on the cliff?”
Madara nodded, “Has it come true?” As you tied the braid together using the handmade hair tie you’d made for him, you reached out to cup his cheek.
tags *ೃ༄ angst, fluff, slowburn, mentions of war, mentions of suicide, canon-typical violence, mutual pining
summary *ೃ༄ the story of how the madara met his now wife.
note *ೃ༄ i love the reader in this series sm
masterlist *ೃ༄ || series masterlist *ೃ༄
“Do you think this war will continue on forever?” The stars shone upon your heads while the moon bathed the lot of you in its ethereal light.
“.. I dunno.” The boy beside you answered. “I only wish there was a world where we didn’t have to fight all the time.” His spiky black hair tickled your arm but you didn’t say anything. You wanted to etch these moments with him into your memory. You’d live only in your memories if you could.
“So do I.” you sighed and hugged your knees to your chest while you glanced at your brother's friend. You’d met him only recently because the boy had noticed you following Hashirama when he went out to the river to meet with him. Who knew you’d share their beliefs? It was rare to find that nowadays when people just seem to kill each other over differences they had long forgotten.
Whenever your father asked you two if you’d seen anything while you were out, Hashirama and yourself became tight-lipped and said a simple, 'No, father.’
Because the both of you knew.
That a friendship with the member of an enemy clan could never prosper.
“You are but a weak woman, why has Hashirama let you out of his sight?” Madara looked upon you with disdain, as if your very presence here was an offense to him. Your eyes narrowed at him as you assumed a defensive position, “You’ve always been so prideful with your words! Tell me, is it because you’re afraid, Madara?” The words hurt to say as they came out of your mouth, your hands over one of your comrades as you hoped to heal him. The younger version of yourself wouldn’t have been surprised at the fact that the next time you’d meet Madara was on the battlefield.
Hashirama knew this would happen. You knew it too.
The both of you hoped that it wouldn’t come to this, but it did. Your dreams of a war-free world were shattered to oblivion the day your father attempted to ambush Madara while Hashirama had gone to the river that day. Now, Hashirama has become the clan head of the Senju and Madara, the clan head of the Uchiha.
There was no way that there could be reconciliation now, none that you could see at least.
Madara’s younger brother, seeing you in the middle of trying to heal one of your comrades, took this opportunity to come at you. Luckily, Tobirama came in to defend you. As your brothers — and the rest of your clan — fought with the Uchiha, you healed as many fallen shinobi as you could. You were one of the best healers, but that could never stop the bloodshed.
As you looked upon the scores of dead bodies on the battlefield, both Uchiha & Senju alike, you wondered what it was all for. They had been at each other's throats since before the time of your fathers, was there even a reason that the two clans were fighting? Or was it all just blind rage? You kneeled down to the corpse of an Uchiha Shinobi when you saw that her hand had been held into a fist, of course, her grip on it was loosened now that she had been slain.
You felt nothing but sorrow when you opened her hand to see a bracelet with a single crystal on it.
A ruby.
A small tear escaped your eyes as it dawned on you, ‘She was someone’s family..’ You had been part of the war, there was blood on your hands too. You knew that they were just like you. Human beings that had families, just like you. You gripped the bracelet in your hand frustratedly before placing it in the woman’s palm and closing her hand.
This needed to stop.
With the swift slash of a sword, Tobirama made quick work of Madara’s younger brother, Izuna Uchiha.
“Izuna!” Madara sprinted towards his brother, his eyes filled with worry at seeing his brother injured by none other than your elder brother, Tobirama.
“You cannot win against me, Madara..” Hashirama donned an expression that was both determined and anxious. “So, Why don’t we end this.?”
Your eyes widened at your elder brother’s proposal. You knew that Hashirama still believed that peace was achievable between the Uchiha and the Senju — but to ask Madara straight to his face? After his brother had just been injured by your own brother?? Just what was he thinking? Your eyes were fixated on Madara and Izuna, not knowing what their next move would be.
As soon as Hashirama finished talking about his ideas for peace, Izuna spoke up to his elder brother. “No, big brother..” Izuna pleaded, “Do not be deceived by them..” And because a brother’s word is more valuable than the words of an ex friend, Madara heeded his brother's word by throwing a smoke bomb and retreating along with the rest of his clan.
Peace would not be achieved that day.
The days after the encounter, your hope was diminishing more and more. But you couldn’t give up. Your brother wouldn’t either, though Tobirama was more cautious of him. Tobirama understood that Hashirama and you still saw the little boy from the river, but he couldn’t wrap his head around why you two tried so hard to make peace with him. However, as long as his siblings held a hope for peace, Tobirama would support the two of you as much as he could.
.
.
.
Soon enough, the day came when you would meet Madara face to face alongside your brothers. You noticed that Izuna was not among the Uchiha and your heart ached for Madara. He wouldn’t show it, but you knew he was hurting.
You could also tell that there was something different about Madara.. His eyes. They had changed.
“My little brother ended up dying from that day’s wounds..” Madara began to speak, his tone laced with venom. “..Leaving me with powers that will protect the Uchiha!” Faster than you could comprehend his words, a giant blue phantom-like creature made from Madara’s chakra alone, arose from the ground. But this did not shake Hashirama, nor you.
“I sent you a ceasefire agreement!” Hashirama reminded his old friend, “If you truly want to protect the Uchiha, let's stop fighting!” Before you could even say anything, Madara’s voice resounded throughout the battlefield.
“Hashirama! How long will you keep saying such juvenile things?!” His long black hair swished in the air, he was confident that today, he would avenge his people and most importantly, his brother.
Unfortunately for him, the battle ended with his back on the ground, Hashirama kneeled beside him.
“Madara, You’re finished..” Tobirama glared at him, his sword just inches above Madara.
Your eyes widened and you quickly sprinted over to where your brothers were, “Tobirama, Wait!” You worriedly shouted, hoping he’d hear it despite your distance. You didn’t notice Madara’s eyes flickering over to you. Hashirama backed you up saying, “Wait, Tobirama.” But this would not deter your elder brother.
“Why, Elder brother?! This is our chance!” Tobirama spoke passionately, clearly ticked off by the words that came out of your mouths. Why were you so opposed to it? If he just ended Madara right here and now, the fighting would end! Couldn’t the two of you understand??
Hashirama glared up at his younger brother, “No one touches him.” Hashirama had never been one to yell, but at this moment you could tell it was critical. Tobirama lowered his sword, withdrawing upon hearing his brother’s words. He wasn’t shocked to find you kneeling next to Madara, opposite to Hashirama, and waiting for Hashirama's command to begin healing his injuries.
“Hmph, Just get it over with, Hashirama..” said the Uchiha, “It would be an honor.. ..to die by your hand.” His words tore your heart to shreds. He was so ready to give his life up.. Did he really not see any other way? Before you could shed any tears of frustration, Hashirama began to speak.
“Quit the posturing. If I kill the clan head like this, the younger Uchiha who follow you shall run amok again.” Hashirama tried to make a point, but Madara quickly refuted it.
With sorrowful words, Madara spoke, “There isn’t anyone left with such pluck among the Uchiha-”
“No, there is always someone.” Your elder brother’s tone was confident. “Can’t we just skip stones again, like in the olden times? Together..” Your expression softened as you listened to your brother's words. Those days seemed so far and yet, you held them so close to your heart. Just as he did. You looked down at Madara, feeling the strings of your heart pull as you looked upon his tired visage.
“That’s not possible, you and I are no longer the same.” Madara spoke with such finiteness. As if his words were the solid truth and the conversation was to die there. It made you frustrated because you believed in the hope that you pursued alongside your brother for so long. “I don’t have a single brother left.. and I just can’t trust you.” You slightly winced at the mention of his brothers, remembering how he had told you he was one of five.. You’d be a liar to say you didn’t empathize with him since you'd lost two brothers to the war already.
Hashirama looked at his former friend with the last glimmer of hope in his brown eyes, “Is there.. no way I can convince you?” You searched Madara’s face, your expression brightening when he mentioned that there was one way.
But your face fell once you heard his next words.
“Either kill your brother.. Or kill yourself, right now.” Madara looked upon their shocked expressions. He heard your breath hitch and saw how your two brothers froze. “..And then we’ll be even.. I’d be willing to trust your clan.”
You ripped your gaze away from Madara and looked into your brother's eyes anxiously. Of course, you should’ve known by now that he would not kill Tobirama. So the only option was.. To kill himself. So with a smile, your eldest brother got up and began to take off his armor.
“Thank you, Madara. You really are kind hearted.” You were confused, Just what the hell was so kind-hearted about this..?
“Big brother, don’t do this..!” You pleaded. You stood up, worried at what your brother would do.
“Listen Tobirama, _____… Carve into your heart these final words of mine,” Hashirama began as he took out a kunai. “Words that I shall be exchanging with my life. You too, my fellow clan members.” Your heart was racing and you could feel your nails dig into the skin of your palms. You had to hold yourself back or you’d rip the kunai from your brother’s hand.
“After my death, do not kill Madara. I forbid any fighting between Uchiha and Senju.” Your elder brother instructed, “Swear this right now, upon our fathers and yet unborn children!” You met Tobirama’s panicked eyes. It wasn’t often he demonstrated emotions in front of the enemy, but this was different. Hashirama really was going to kill himself. “Farewell!” Your brother said with a smile.
“Brother, No!” You reached out to Hashirama but Tobirama stopped you. “Wha.. What are you doing, Tobirama? He's really going to do it!” You pleaded with your elder brother. It was then that you had seen that he was just as worried as you were yet, he didn’t move an inch to stop him. You saw a single tear escape the eyes of your dear elder brother and you could feel your heart breaking in two as you held onto Tobirama’s sleeve to ground yourself.
This was your brother.
The one who had protected you from enemy clans since your youth. The one who trained you to become stronger so you could fend for yourself. He taught you the ways of a medic ninja and helped you master the art. He was the one who helped you hope for peace when you had none..! Tears flowed from your eyes, you had never imagined a world in which you would live without Hashirama.. And now..?
As your brother moved to plunge the kunai into his heart and end his life, you witnessed Madara spring up and grab onto his hand before Hashirama could end his life. You let out a breath you had been holding in and your grip loosened around Tobirama’s sleeve. What was he doing?
“Enough..” Madara spoke. Hashirama looked just as surprised as you did. “I.. have now seen your tenacity.”
Madara acknowledged your brother for the first time in years. This was a sign of times changing, and for once you realized that peace really was achievable. That for the first time in ages.. The Senju and the Uchiha would be at peace.
There would be no more fighting.
The moments that followed after seemed so surreal to you.
Seeing Madara shake hands with your eldest brother to signify that there would be peace between the two clans gave you an unimaginable sense of peace and satisfaction. This had been the result of years of your shared hope coming to fruition and you couldn’t be more joyful.
Now, both Uchiha and Senju were building homes alongside one another. Uchiha children played along with children of the Senju clan and there was no amnesty between the two of the most powerful clans, but instead peace.
“It’s different, huh?” You walked up to your old friend with a small smile on your face. You hadn’t been able to talk to him much due to all of you being busy with getting Konohagakure established among the other nations, but this afternoon was one of the rare days you were able to get some rest.
“Very.” His long black hair swayed in the wind. You stood next to him upon the cliff where the two of you could see all of Konohagakure. You could see the small village that was beginning to form, nothing but joy could fill your heart at the sight of it.
“How are you? It’s been a while since we last.. Talked.” you spoke calmly.
“...We achieved all that we wanted.” Madara’s words were true but ..something was off.
You snuck a glance at the man beside you, his expression holding too much emotion but none that was visible. “Are you happy?” you asked him genuinely.
“.. I suppose I should be.” Madara let out a sigh, deciding to sit down and watch the sun set before him.
“So you’re not.” You murmured while you knelt down to sit beside him. The leaves on the trees swayed serenely as the wind blew through them.
“Izuna would have..” Madara trailed off. He hated the way his old habit of letting his tongue slip around you had resurfaced so easily. You see, Madara was a man of few words whenever it came to his feelings. But whenever he was around you, it was like his tongue had a mind of its own and began disclosing more about himself than he intended to. “.. I suppose this is what all your hope has led to. Are you happy?”
You let the wind softly caress your face as you contemplated your next words. “I’m happy that Hashirama’s dream has become reality. But..” You smiled to yourself, feeling Madara’s intense gaze on you. “My dream has yet to become reality.”
“Was this not your dream?” Madara asked curiously. You turned to look at him, admiring how despite the both of you growing older, he still resembled the little boy from the river from years ago.
“It was one of them,” You admitted, “But my dream is something a little more selfish.”
Madara gave you a look of confusion. To him, you were anything but selfish. Of course, you weren’t perfect either, you too had killed members of his clan.. But you were more pure than most, he supposed.. “Selfish? How so?”
“I..” You chuckled and hugged your knees to your chest, “It’s embarrassing.” Madara gazed at your form, clearly this time. He remembered how whenever you seemed to have a lot on your mind, you would hug your knees close to you, as if to grant yourself comfort from the chaos in your mind. Old habits die hard, he guessed.
Madara scoffed, “You’ve fought with me on the battlefield fearlessly but you won’t tell me your dream because of a little embarrassment? How laughable,” Madara’s taunts were something you secretly missed. His witty remarks and confidence were something that had not changed throughout the years clearly.
“That’s..!” You sighed, “Do you really want to know that bad?” You rested your chin above your knees and looked out to the settlement in an attempt to distract yourself.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know, now would I?” Madara stole a glance at you, looking at the way the light of the sunset washed upon you. He didn’t know what your next words would be, but he certainly did not expect it to be,
fic type *ೃ༄ one part of a three-part series, 3k+ words
tags *ೃ༄ angst, hurt with comfort, fluff, happy ending, suggestive near the end but nothing explicit, reader and madara are married, reader has kids with madara
summary *ೃ༄ after an argument, things are uneasy around the household.
note *ೃ༄ this is still one of my favorite fics that ive written ngl
masterlist *ೃ༄ || series masterlist *ೃ༄
‘I wish you’d try to communicate with me instead of just telling me not to worry!’
You winced as you recalled your words, the blanket over your frame failing to provide the comfort you needed.
‘Not just for me, but for your children! They need you and you’re always gone — I know you’re busy but the least you could do is tell me what’s going on!’
The moonlight slipped in through the open door of the genkan. Madara hadn’t come home. In fact, your husband hadn’t been home for the last three nights in a row. He’s done this before — take some time for himself after an argument — but he’d usually never let you go to bed feeling anxious or worried. No, usually, Madara would force you to acknowledge his presence — even if you were mad. Sighing, you buried your face into one of his shirts in an attempt to comfort yourself in the absence of the man you loved so much. You let another hour pass by before accepting that he wasn’t returning tonight either and choosing to try to get some sleep.
The sun was the first to greet you when morning came. Its rays bathed everything it touched in its warmth — but it wasn’t comparable to the warmth you had grown attached to. Madara’s warmth was all you wanted, but you had to realize that he wasn’t your entire world anymore, not with your children now in the picture. You had to be strong if Madara was going to be gone for a long time — Sure, it was only four nights that he hadn’t been back home, but you’d be damned if you let his absence affect your kids in any way.
“It’s not the end of the world,” you told yourself in an attempt to lift your spirits, a determined look on your face as you cleaned up the kitchen and prepared to make breakfast.
“What isn’t?” Your eldest, Mahaira, rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he walked into the kitchen.
You froze, turning around and smiling nervously as you put your hands up in defense, “Nothing ! I just realized that we don’t have any pork.”
Mahaira narrowed his eyes at you before yawning and greeting you with a hug, “Do you want me to go buy some later?” he offered, his voice sounding sleepy since he wasn’t really a morning person — Just one more thing he had in common with his father.
“You’re always so helpful,” You squeezed the boy tightly, a bright smile on your face. “But no, you have some studying to do after school today. Your teacher tells me you’ve been skipping class.” You looked down at the thirteen year old, your eyebrow lifted as you saw his guilty expression.
Mahaira frowned, “You found out?!”
You smacked his shoulder playfully and crossed your arms with a smirk on your face, “Of course I did, I’m your mother — I find out everything, eventually.”
Mahaira held his head down in defeat, “.. Are you going to tell dad?” He asked you, worried eyes peering up at you pleadingly. You only chuckled and ruffled his spiky black hair, out of all your kids, Mahaira was the one who resembled Madara the most. But of course, Uchiha genes were nothing to laugh at — They were strong as all hell, so it was no surprise that all your children looked like their father in one way or another.
“No — Not if you catch up on your studying, I won’t.” Mahaira’s face lit up, your heart warming at the sight of it. It was like seeing a mini Madara right in front of you.
“Speaking of dad, where is he?” Mahaira looked around, realizing he hadn’t seen him as of late.
You frowned, “.... He’s busy.” you looked away from your son, not wanting to face him.
However, it seemed that he inherited his fathers sharp intuition. Mahaira’s black eyes narrowed at you before widening in realization. “He still hasn’t come home?? Jeez mom.. You should both just kiss and make up already.” Mahaira shook his head in faux disapproval, even crossing his arms to take it further.
“Kiss and wha-!? Mahaira!” You stared at your son in surprise, heat rushing to your face. “Nevermind that, go wake up your sisters.. !” Mahaira snickered at your embarrassed expression and walked away to his sisters’ room smugly. You turned your attention back to the counter and cracked the eggs you’d brought out beforehand, whisked them in a bowl and poured them over the pan. Truthfully, you’d missed Madara. He’d always wake up before you, but he’d pretend to be asleep when you woke up just so he could feel your hands thread through his hair. Whenever you were cooking, he’d come up behind you and encase you in his arms.. Even if they were small actions, the fact that they came from him was all that mattered.
You, like Madara, grew up in an era where you weren’t even sure you’d see your children unplagued by the stresses of war. Now, you even got to see your kids all in one piece, together. All thanks to him.. Slowly, you found your mind trying to go back to thinking about your husband — But how were you to stop it? He was your husband, the father of your children.. How could you not think about him when he was away? It was an almost impossible task. But you knew you had to go on and wait for him, like you always did. After eating omelets with your kids, you sent Mahaira off to school. His two sisters, Mizuna and Mitsumi, would have to stay with you since they were still too young to go to the academy. If they were anything like their older brother, they’d be a handful once they got older. But you didn’t mind, as long as they grew up to be fine, respectable people.
“Mama, what are you making tonight?” Mizuna looked up at you as you held her and her twin sister by the hand while the three of you walked around the market, a bright smile on their faces.
“Mm.. I was thinking of pork cutlet,” you looked down at the twins, Mizuna’s eyes lighting up as she thought about the savory meal while she looked at the rows of different oils and spices on display. “We just need to get the pork and some oil and we’ll be set, okay?” The twins nodded and stood near the stall while they waited for you to pay for the oil, or at least, they tried to stay near you. However, when they saw the unmistakable mane of long black hair that so obviously belonged to their father, they couldn’t stay still.
“Papa!” The girls called out before running to their father despite the very obvious guilt shown through your expression. Madara’s eyes widened in surprise as he laid his eyes upon you — but only for a short moment before he leaned down and picked up his 6 year old child, perching Mizuna up on his shoulders. His gloved hands rubbed Mitsumi’s back in acknowledgement as she hugged him. You looked away before he could see the pained look on your face and thanked the seller before begrudgingly walking over to the man who’d been occupying your mind for the past week. Mitsumi looked up at you and raised her arms up, her way of signaling for you to pick her up. You smiled and did as she asked, securing her on your hip before facing your husband.
“...”
“...”
“Papa,” Madara glanced at Mitsumi, “Mama said she was gonna make pork cutlet today!” Mitsumi smiled brightly at her father, you could tell that she had missed Madara as much as you had when you saw her face. Madara looked back at you, despite how things were between the two of you, heat still rushed up to your face when his eyes met yours.
“Is that so?” He sounded interested, but maybe that was because he was talking to his daughter and he wanted to hide the way that things were between the two of you. You only nodded in response.
“.. Will you be home for dinner?” you asked the Uchiha as you tried to avoid his oh so beautiful eyes by fixing a piece of Mitsumi’s hair behind her ear.
“Mm.” Madara was observant as ever. Unfortunately for you, he saw the guilt on your face no matter how much you tried to hide it. Madara wished to extinguish such anxiety from your features, but he knew it was probably due to his absence that you even felt that way. It was his fault for disappearing, no, avoiding you for five days in a row — almost a whole week. If you had been looking at him for a bit longer, maybe you would have seen how his gaze softened when he first saw you. “Yes, .. I’ll be home for dinner.” He told you, a small smile tugging at his lips. You looked up at him and you swear you could tear up just hearing those five words. Madara felt his heart warm at the sight of your relieved expression. It took you a while to snap back to reality and register that he was actually going to be home tonight.
“O.. Oh.” You blinked, “Okay, then.. I should get going. You’re probably busy.” You bashfully looked away, putting Mitsumi back down so you could carry her sister after Madara had taken her off his shoulders and given her to you.
Mizuna tugged at her father’s mantle, “Papa you better not be late..!” She warned.
“Yeah! Mama gets really sad!” Mitsumi crossed her arms and looked at her father with determination. Madara blinked, he was surprised by this admission.
You looked down at Mitsumi, embarrassed that Mitsumi just put you in a vulnerable position, “That’s not true- I do not get sad!” You tried to salvage your self-image, but unfortunately your efforts were in vain.
“Do too!” Mizuna chimed in, determined to help her sister prove you wrong.
“Do not!”
“Do too!” They both said at the same time. You could feel your face getting hotter the more Madara witnessed this exchange. But it brought him nothing short of genuine happiness. You continued trying to win the argument with your children ( and failing ) until you heard Madara chuckle at the interaction.
“Does mama really get sad when i’m not around, Mizuna?” He petted his daughter's hair as he asked this, as if to reward her for unknowingly giving this information away.
“Yes!”
“No!” you objected. Madara only laughed some more — It was one of the things you’d missed hearing. If only you knew how much Madara missed you too. He didn’t know why he had been so reluctant to tell you that you were right, but he knew he didn’t want it to damage his marriage. He loved you too much to leave you, he hoped you knew that. You sighed in defeat and rubbed your neck, “You two are horrible liars.”
“Lying is bad, Mama.” Mizuna shook her head in disapproval.
“Yeah, Mama, lying is bad.” Madara repeated, smirking at your defeat. You stared at him unamused, “You better not be late.” You warned, trying to hide a smile before holding Mizuna’s hand. You were going to pick up the bag of groceries that you’d laid at your side before the whole interaction, but Madara took your hand in his — Forcing you to look him in the eye. He came close to you and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“Don’t worry, I won’t keep you waiting anymore.”
“Mom? You seem awfully happy…… What happened?” Mahaira asked as he tied his hair up into a low ponytail and greeted you with a hug and a kiss on your cheek.
You lifted a brow at your son, a sly smirk on your face, “Do I need a reason to be happy?”
“You know that’s not what I meant..” Mahaira protested at your accusation. He could sense you were in better spirits than when he last saw you this morning. However, you only ruffled his hair and snickered. “Nothing happened, Mahaira. Go wash your hands, it’s almost time for dinner.” You sent him out of the kitchen before calling your twin daughters to help you set up the table. It was as soon as Mizuna had placed the last plate that you all heard a knock on the door, your heart beat only got faster. Mahaira walked down the hall and smiled once he saw his father walk through the door. “Dad! You’re here..!” It was as if Madara was a magnet of some sort because as soon as Mahaira said this, Mizuna and Mitsumi raced to the door. You heard a hard Thump! and rushed to see what had happened, chuckling once you had seen what took place.
It was Madara on the floor, tackled by his two twin daughters who were eagerly hugging him. “The Great Madara Uchiha brought down by his own children? Now there’s a sight I never thought I’d see.” You snickered as you looked down at your husband who was now sitting up and holding Mizuna and Mitsumi at his sides. You offered a hand to help him up but yelped once he tugged you forward, causing you to land on top of him. “Hey-! Madara, you- Mmph!” You grunted as you fell on him.
“If I go down, you go down with me.” He snickered as he gazed down at you. Your knees were on either side of his thighs, you were currently holding onto his shoulders so that you wouldn’t completely fall on him again. He couldn’t lie, he missed you being close to him. You always radiated a warmth he didn’t know he needed.
“Is that so?” you lifted a brow at him, a smirk on your face as you giggled when he greeted you with a kiss on your forehead. You were going to kiss him before Mahaira spoke up and interrupted,
“Get a room, you two!” Madara and you looked at each other before laughing at your son’s reaction, deciding to save that kiss for later. You got up off of your husband and offered him a hand to help him up. He followed behind you, a subtle smile on his face as he looked down at his hand in yours, he didn’t fail to notice a chip in the nail polish you wore — He was ever the observant man. During dinner, you two avoided talking about the elephant in the room so as to not give your kids anything to worry about — But you both knew that you had to talk sooner or later. For now, you’d enjoy having your family together once again. Seeing your kids’ interactions with their father just warmed your heart even more, you weren’t sure if you could handle him leaving — If that’s what he wanted to do. Though, you doubted that line of thought since he was actually here, since.. he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t thinking about mending things with you.. Right? You thanked Mahaira for washing his plate and ruffled his hair before sending him off to bed, the twins following suit.
“So..” You tried to begin the conversation, but what were you supposed to say? Madara came up next to you, drying the dishes you washed and putting them in their place. He seemed calm, but when wasn’t he? You rarely ever see him lose his composure now that the Uchiha and the Senju weren’t at war anymore. You tried to find the words, but there wasn’t anything you could really say.
“I’m sorry.”
You blinked a couple times before you turned to your husband. He was already looking at you. “You..” you were at a loss for words. He was sorry? But what for?
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to talk to you sooner.” He clarified. “I needed some time.. To think about what you said-”
“You’re not leaving me?” you interrupted him. He seemed confused at what you had said.
“Leaving you? Why would I leave you?” He crossed his arms as he looked down at you in confusion.
“Well- I thought that you were- uhm..” You felt incredibly stupid just now.
Madara came close to you and cupped your cheek in his calloused hand, “I wouldn’t leave you over a small fight, _____.”
You looked away, avoiding his stare. “You were gone for a week- I thought that you were planning to leave me..” you admitted quietly. Madara was frustrated that this was what his absence had led you to believe. Yes, it was a nasty fight that the two of you got into, but after being with you for fifteen years, he thought that you would know that he wouldn’t leave you over something as small as this. Without so much as a thought, he pulled you close and wrapped his arms around you.
“You’re my wife, and the mother of my children. Don’t you ever think that I would leave you over a petty argument such as that.” He said it as if it was a demand, but he only meant to assure you that He would be with you until the end of time. He felt your hands grip his shirt, his heart breaking when he heard your uneven breathing. You pulled away a little to wipe your eyes, but he beat you to it, a fond smile on his face as he wiped your tears away with his thumb, “You were right about what you said.. I don’t want to miss out on their childhood — I want to be there for them, and for you.” He told you softly — A tone he rarely used with anyone else but you — as he looked you in the eye. “I’ll try to be around more, okay?”
You nodded before sheepishly glancing away from him, “I’m sorry for having yelled at you, by the way..”
“It’s alright, I need that.” He admitted with a small smile, “You deserve to know what’s going on, I shouldn’t have made you worry.”
You smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, “I understand that you find it hard to express yourself — But know that you can rely on me, okay? ..I love you.” You smiled warmly at him, you hated that he kept things to himself, but what else could you do but support him? If he needed someone to wait for him until he was ready, you sure as hell were going to do just that.
“I’ll try to.” He assured you before placing a piece of your hair behind your ear.
“I missed you a lot y’know,” you told him as the both of you walked to your room, hand in hand.
“I missed you as well,” He said with a small smile as he followed after you. “It was a little annoying in actuality, I couldn’t go a minute without thinking about you.”
“How romantic,” You chuckled sarcastically before getting under the sheets. They felt softer now that Madara was with you — if that was even possible. He settled underneath the sheets with you, his arm coming around your figure, making it so that your head rested against his chest. You splayed your arm across his stomach, tracing the scar on his left side as you nuzzled into him. You finally had your husband back, ..he was finally here with you. Right as soon as you were getting comfortable with the position you were in, Madara turned so that he was facing you, kissing your forehead, then your cheeks, your nose, and finally your lips. You giggled at his sudden display of affection, “Jeez, did you really miss me that much?” you teased.
He smirked, “I missed you a lot more actually,” he said before swiftly switching your positions so now you were underneath him, his hands intertwined with yours. You could feel the heat rushing to your face as you looked up at him, his black hair draping around the sides of his face. “Really?” You lifted a brow at him, a playful smirk on your face.
“Of course,” he leaned down and adorned your neck in butterfly kisses. Madara was a rugged man, but he knew just how to make your heart melt. He planted kisses on your jaw before facing you once more. “Care to make up for lost time?”
tags *ೃ༄ reader is blind, comfort, fluff, descriptions of a panic attack near the end
summary *ೃ༄ tobirama comforts you when you're overwhelmed.
note *ೃ༄ writing this was fun :)
masterlist *ೃ༄
It was because you were blind that your other senses seemed to pick up the slack and gradually improved because of the absence of your sight. Due to this, you were essentially a master at sensing different people’s chakra to differentiate who was who.
Since you’d spent years with Tobirama, his chakra was the easiest to sense, it was second nature at this point. His chakra was calming to you because whenever he was around, you felt safe around him. You didn’t have to be on guard when he was with you.
“You’re home.” You walked up to Tobirama with a smile, greeting him with a hug after he had come in through the door.
“How did you know it was me?” He smiled a little to himself as he returned your hug.
“I sensed your chakra nearby.” Even though you couldn’t see it, the expression on his face was tender, the only reason you knew was because of the way his thumb softly rubbed small circles on your back.
Of course, there were also moments where you felt overwhelmed.
Whenever you went outside to do errands with Tobirama, you’d have people greeting the both of you left and right out of respect and admiration since Tobirama was the Second Hokage and he didn’t mind being open with his relationship with you. This didn’t bother you at first because you thought it was nice of the village people to want to interact with the both of you.
But it did become an inconvenience whenever they tried to talk to you and Tobirama while you two were in the middle of doing something important. Be it while you were training with him or trying to determine what you should pick up from the market so he could help you make something for dinner, it bothered you when people could clearly see that the two of you were busy and were still trying to talk to you.
It wasn’t because the people themselves were annoying, but because they were filling your senses.
You had someone talking your ear off while the seller was trying to answer the questions that you had asked about the items you’d picked up for dinner. You didn’t want to be mean but the stimulation made you feel overwhelmed.
Your grip on the plastic grocery bag in your hand was tightening as you tried to comprehend what the seller was trying to tell you. Unfortunately, the person next to you didn’t seem to care and kept trying to tell you how they admired you and how they thought Tobirama and yourself were a cute couple. But you could care less in this moment, all you knew was that you felt suffocated.
But just before you opened your mouth to say something to the inconsiderate person next to you, you sensed Tobirama’s Chakra coming closer. In relief, you let out a small sigh and smiled to yourself when Tobirama was eventually at your side again, telling the villager that they were in a hurry and really would’ve liked to talk more but couldn’t. Of course, you knew this was a white lie but you didn’t want to correct him. You just wanted to breathe.
“Are you alright?” He asked you, clearly concerned about you since he could tell that you were in an uneasy state.
“..Yeah. M’okay,” you breathed out steadily, regulating your breathing. Tobirama’s being there with you eased you because you never really had to explain anything to him.
tags *ೃ༄ fluff, comfort, mentions of blood and violence at the beginning ( not by tobirama ), insecurity ( reader )
summary *ೃ༄ you get hurt on a mission, causing you to lose your sight. luckily, you have Tobirama to help you.
note *ೃ༄ this was requested :)
masterlist *ೃ༄
It happened all too fast.
One second you were fighting spy shinobi from the hidden sound, the next — you couldn’t see anything, only being able to feel the stinging pain of a kunai slash your face. The only thing your teammates heard after the devastating blow were your screams and cries that you couldn’t see anything. After your teammates had eliminated the enemy, one of them carried you on their back to bring you to the village hospital so that a medical ninja could treat you.
When an Anbu Black Ops member — one of the four on your team to be exact — appeared before Tobirama, he knew that the news he would be receiving would not only be a report on how the mission went.
“They’re in the hospital, Lord Second.” The shinobi replied to him after he had been asked for your whereabouts. Tobirama grunted as he got up from his desk and walked to the door, hesitating to open it.
“Did the shinobi who attacked them get away?” His tone was sharp, demanding.
“No, Lord Second.”
“You’re dismissed,” Tobirama said before leaving his office and heading to the hospital to see the condition you were in.
After a few hours of the treatment by the medical ninja, they had broken the news to you. The cut on your face would be able to heal, only leaving a scar in its wake, but you would never again be able to see. ‘You would never again be able to see..’ ..The words rang in your head, you didn’t know what to feel after hearing the news. You couldn’t open your eyes due to the injury being wrapped with gauze, but it’s not like having your eyes open or not would make a difference — You still wouldn’t be able to see.
“What do you mean I can’t go in?” Tobirama’s brows furrowed at what one of the nurses in charge of your room had told him.
“They’ve asked that no one come into their room, Lord second,” The poor nurse seemed conflicted, “Not even yourself..” The man huffed, staring at your door before walking out again.
If he couldn’t go in through the door, then he’d go in through the window. Nothing — no one — could keep him from seeing you.
Not even you.
Your head hung low as you wondered what you looked like, although you had a good idea of what the scar would look like, since you could still feel the dull pain of the slash across your face.
“_____.”
You picked your head up, recognizing the familiar voice that had called your name. “.. Tobi?” Your head darted from side to side, trying to listen for any clues of where he was. “I didn’t hear the door open, where did you-”
“Why did you tell them not to let me in?” Tobirama was never one to beat around the bush, always facing things head-on. You stayed silent, fidgeting with your fingers. “_____. ..Why?”
You sighed, “I didn’t.. want you to see me.” That was only the simple explanation. The truth was, you felt horrible at the fact that you would never be able to see him again, you wouldn’t be able to experience the world with him in the same way as before. You could hear his voice and feel his touch but you would never be able to see him again. You felt the mattress dip next to you and a warm hand — his hand — hold your anxious ones.
“What did the medics say? ..about your condition, I mean.” Tobirama asked, straight to the point as always.
“..They said..” You could feel tears pour from your closed eyes as you tried to force the words out of your lips. “They said.. I wouldn’t be able to see anymore.”
“So.. you’re not in critical condition? You’ll be okay?” He asked, an unfamiliar sound of worry subtly evident in his voice, feeling his thumb brush away your tears afterwards.
“I’ll be fine, it’s just.. My sight– Or well, my lack of it.” You didn’t sound happy, at all. Tobirama could tell that much, but all he cared about was the fact that you were going to live.
Truthfully, Tobirama could care less if you could see or not, as long as he had you beside him. Suddenly, you could feel strong arms encase you in a warm and comforting embrace, a warm vanilla scent emitting from Tobirama as he hugged you. You hesitated to hug him back but did so after a while. You were confused — was he not.. disappointed after hearing the news? After a few moments, you pulled back from him. “..You’re not disappointed?”
A puzzled look washed over his face — not that you could see it though. “Disappointed? Why would I be disappointed?”
“Well.. my blindness is permanent so..”
“What does that have to do with anything?” It was a serious question. Did you really think he would just leave you because of your new disability? As if.
“I won’t be able to experience the world in the same way as you, Tobirama..” You somehow felt even sadder after saying it outloud. Guilty even, because you knew you would cause him an inconvenience. You would have to learn to read differently and you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the warm mornings when you woke up with him in the same way anymore. Things would be different now that you had lost your sight.
“Maybe,” He said, “But you’ll still be by my side — and that’s all I need.” He said it with passion because he meant it. He wouldn’t be leaving you anytime soon.
“..I’ll be a burden to you.” You stated it as if it was to be a fact — which was farther from the truth in Tobirama’s mind.
“You won’t. I once told you I'd be with you through the hard times and I am a man of my word. You of all people should know this best, _____.” His words were serious, but you could tell there was an underlying tone of tenderness to them.
This man loved you- Truly loved you.
.
.
.
Things were different after you had lost your sight.
You couldn’t see people’s expressions, not their happy ones, nor their annoyed ones. You couldn’t read people’s emotions as you used to do before the incident. And you surely couldn’t navigate your own home the way you used to. It was humiliating, at first. You felt like a child that needed help to just survive, help that you certainly didn’t need at first. You never thought that you’d ever have to rely on Tobirama so much as you did now.
But it was getting easier.
Though your sight was completely gone — Your other senses stepped up, as if wanting to make up for the lack of it. You could hear even the subtlest of sounds and this was no doubt thanks to your lover. Tobirama had proposed — after about a month that you had spent healing — that he help you hone your other senses through training with him. You had agreed to it, thinking that it’d help you feel less helpless (which it did). But not only did it improve your self-esteem, your other senses had become more sensitive to stimuli. Over time, your kinesthetic sense also improved. You became more aware of the layout of your home, no longer needing Tobirama’s help around the house whenever you wanted to do something (except for cooking, you were currently taking a break from that after you almost burned the house down).
Currently, you were in the middle of training with your now fiancé. You could feel a bead of sweat drip down the side of your face as you tried to anticipate where he would come from. Your ears picked up on the rustling of leaves and you turned your head to face in that direction. You were about to throw a kunai in its direction before you felt a large, calloused hand rest on your shoulder, “I win, again.”
You groaned, “That’s not fair! I’m handicapped.” You crossed your arms, you’d roll your eyes if you could, too.
“That can’t be your excuse all the time, you know. Not if you wanna be sent out on missions again.” There was a small smirk on his face as his arms circled around your waist, pulling you close to him.
“I know, but still.” you pouted and sighed before leaning into him, resting the back of your head on his shoulder. “I appreciate you doing this for me, Tobi.” A smile graced your features, something that Tobirama had missed dearly. Since the incident, your smiles became scarce — Though you seemed to be smiling more lately.
“I would do anything for you.” He spoke into your ear before he planted a chaste kiss on your jaw.
“Anything?” you chimed.
“Anything.” He confirmed before he kissed your lips lovingly.
tags *ೃ༄ reader is married to tobirama, slice of life, fluff
summary *ೃ༄ what being his wife would be like.
note *ೃ༄ did this for funzies cuz i love the founders </3
masterlist *ೃ༄
being married to tobirama would include..
Soft mornings in which he usually wakes up earlier than you and watches your eyelashes flutter while you sleep. He likes to relish in the calm and domesticity of it all. Just hearing you breathe steadily in the mornings brings him peace of mind.
Not too much PDA. He wouldn’t full on make out with you in public- but he will hold your hand and give you a peck on the cheek every once in a while !!
Hearing his soft sighs of relief when you give his shoulders a massage after a long day of sitting in the Hokage’s office all day. (He’s old, give him a break) He’ll pretend that your massages weren’t that beneficial but when you threaten that you won’t give him any more massages, he’s a pouty mess of a man.
Having to deal with his stubbornness whenever you try to tell him that there are different ways to do things (he won’t listen) (he’s senile). On that note, the man probably gets into a lot of arguments with you over small things due to his stubbornness.
“Doing it that way takes more time, if you just use hot water then the grease just melts right off.” You told him as you demonstrated how the leftover oil on the pan easily washed off due to the hot water.
Tobirama looked down at you, unamused. “Just let me do it the way I want to do it, It gets the same end result anyway.”
You sighed and shook your head, “Fine, do it your way then.”
On that note, whenever you two have those lover’s spats, he’ll be the first to recognize he was wrong and apologize to you because he hates getting the silent treatment.
You stirred the soup in the pot, getting dinner ready for night as you pretended not to see your husband walking up to you. “Do you know where my kunai went? It was on the table a second ago.” your husband stood next to you, his arms crossed as he waited for your answer. Unfortunately — it never came.
“Hey.” he tried to get your attention, unable to bear the listless expression on your face. Tobirama stood there, hoping you’d at least turn to look at him, but you moved around the kitchen and didn’t acknowledge his presence once.
“Fine then, be childish.” He felt a small pang of guilt but decided to just leave the kitchen.
Later that night, he saw you taking your pillows over to the couch. "Are you serious?” He asked you in disbelief that you would go as far as to make him sleep alone. Again, you didn’t say a word and closed the door once you’d grabbed a spare blanket from the closet. The white-haired male got up and followed you to the couch, determined to get you to talk to him. “Okay, I yield. I’m sorry.”
You raised a brow at him. “Sorry for what?”
“I’m sorry for saying that you were too weak to go on that mission by yourself.” He avoided your piercing look, reluctant to even admit that he was wrong.
Nonetheless, he was happy he have done it when you brought your pillow back and were sleeping by his side again that night.
Despite his stubborn nature, he is willing to see things from other perspectives. Conversations with him usually end up with you learning about the way he thinks. Your deepest conversations with him usually happen when the both of you are in bed about to go to sleep for the night.
Mans will also not let you vent in peace, if you have a problem then he’s giving you advice for it. You have to shush him multiple times just to complain to him about your day in peace. He doesn’t get the whole concept of telling him about a problem you have if you didn’t want a solution to it.
“Why didn’t you just tell her you felt that way?” He lifted a brow at you.
“That’s not the point.” you shot him an unamused look.
“Well if you told her then maybe she wouldn’t have done what she did, am I wrong?” Tobirama just stood there as you stared at him with a bored look on your face. “Forget I said anything.”
He’s secretly very clingy behind closed doors because he doesn’t want anyone else to see how vulnerable and soft you make him. I’m tellin’ you koala type grip whenever you two wake up, he will make you stay in bed with him all morning if he doesn’t wanna get up — Unless you have a job. He respects your schedule since he himself is someone who likes to stick to routines.
Overall, he’s a very caring husband and does his best to both protect and be there for you.
tags *ೃ༄ takes place a few years after the war arc, fluff, comfort ( this was 100% copium for me when it was first posted like a year ago lmao)
summary *ೃ༄ you lose a hairpin he gave you.
notes *ೃ༄ Inspired by the Sasuke figurine that somebody stole from me, I havent gotten it back to this day <////3
masterlist *ೃ༄
A cold sweat ran down your back after not feeling it there.
You turned and inspected the floor. ‘Had it fallen?’ You bit your bottom lip anxiously as you looked around. Setting your tote bag down, you retraced your steps with hopeful eyes glancing over every blade of grass. You couldn’t have lost it, he just gave it to you three hours ago!
“Hn..” You groaned under your breath worriedly as you inspected every step you’d taken before coming home, not finding it anywhere. Maybe tomorrow you’d go back to the shop and ask if they’d seen something like it before you left?
You hoped that they did..
.
.
.
“No, I’m sorry, _____. I haven’t come across anything like it, if i saw it I would’ve told you..” Ino frowned slightly, empathizing with your situation.
“Damn.. Alright, thanks anyway, Ino ..!” You waved her goodbye and left her flower shop, biting your bottom lip anxiously. Sasuke would probably get irritated that you lost it so quickly.. But it wasn’t like you wanted that to happen! You were so sure you’d had it on.. As you walked back to your home you thought of the events of yesterday. You had it on when you walked into her shop but it wasn’t in your hair when you came home.. And it couldn’t have fallen since you would’ve found it when you retraced your steps last night.
You felt a pit settle in your stomach, disappointed in how easily you’d lost it. Especially after getting it on the same day! Sighing, you decided to bake some cookies to take some of the stress off. You’d felt incredibly guilty, especially since you knew that it was a gift that he had given to you with much thought. You couldn’t believe that you’d lost it and frankly, you were worried that he’d be upset if he found out.
You let out a small sigh as you mixed the cookie batter in the bowl, “Could someone have swiped it off of me? Did it fall ..?” All these questions filled your mind, ruining the calm environment you were seeking through baking cookies. Soon enough, the sun started to go down and the evening greeted the sky. Sasuke was off on a mission so you didn’t know how long he’d be away, you just hoped you could find it before he came home.
As you popped the cookies in the oven to bake, you decided to pick up that book that Kakashi sensei had recommended to you. You’d been trying to read it but it seemed like whenever you found it, it went missing as soon as you turned away..
.
.
.
Sasuke let out a sigh of relief once he stepped into the Uchiha Compound, he was glad he was home now and wondered if you were there yet — It was quite late after all. When your husband opened the door, he was met with the pleasing aroma of sweet, chocolate chip cookies. Sasuke wasn’t a fan of sweet things but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t smell good.
“I’m home,” He announced, wondering where you were since usually you would greet him at the door.
After he took off his shoes at the genkan, he wandered into the living room to find you sleeping soundly on the couch and a batch of freshly baked cookies on the kitchen table. Were you tired? It was late so maybe you just decided to sleep here? Though.. The way you were mumbling things and knitting your brows in your sleep didn’t seem good.
Sasuke came close to you and leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead, your expression seemed to relax after his simple gesture. Your lover glanced down, seeing one of Kakashi’s books in your hand. ‘Were you trying to read Icha-Icha again?’ he sighed as he took the book from your hands. ‘I thought I'd hidden it..’ Sasuke thought to himself, freezing in his tracks once you began to shift in your sleep.
“Sa..suke?” your eyebrows furrowed a little as you rubbed your eyes from the sleep. “You’re home?” Your husband nodded and sat next to you after you sat up and greeted him with a hug. “When did you come home?”
“Not too long ago,” he answered you as he softly smiled, hiding the book within his cloak. “You made cookies?”
You nodded, reminded of why you’d started baking cookies…. Now you were face to face with him, you could only hope he wouldn’t notice that it was gone. You shifted nervously, “Uhm.. So, do you want me to run you a bath-?”
“You were talking in your sleep.” Sasuke cut you off, abruptly changing the conversation. This made you even more anxious than you had been in the entire day.
“Was I? I Didn’t say anything embarrassing, did I?” You sheepishly brought a finger to your lower lip — A gesture you usually did when you were nervous — This, Sasuke took notice of. It was both a blessing and a curse that you had married one of the most observant shinobi to exist, because there was no way that Sasuke wouldn’t notice that the hairpin he had given you yesterday was missing. You haven't been wearing it since you were sleeping.. And it wasn’t on the table.. So the only conclusion he could come up with was that it was missing.
Sasuke shook his head, “You didn’t.. Although, you were mumbling my name.” You could feel the heat rise up to your cheeks and avoided his gaze. Sasuke was the only one who could make you feel so bashful under his tender gaze.
The night wasn’t too eventful, you were just glad to be spending time with him after about two weeks of him being gone. ‘Maybe the hairpin conversation could wait..’ you thought to yourself as you laid in bed beside him. Your lover had been tired, so he fell asleep pretty fast, but all your worries had kept you up. You sighed as you shifted and looked up at the ceiling, you knew you’d have to tell him soon.. But..
“Stop worrying.” Sasuke mumbled, his eyes closed and his black hair in his face.
“..I’m not..”
Your husband chuckled, “you bite your lip any more and you’ll draw blood,” he warned. You turned to face him, an unamused and slightly sheepish expression on your face.
“I hate that you know me so well.”
“If only that were true,” He chimed as he welcomed you when you snuggled up to his side. “Now go to sleep..” You reluctantly complied after giving him a kiss on the cheek and let yourself succumb to slumber. You slept the rest of the night like a baby, Sasuke made sure not to wake you up when he got up early in the morning to search for the pin.
Needless to say, when you got up, there was a certain book missing, but the hairpin was on your bedside table.
