꒰ dollie .ᐟֹ₊꒱

she/her Requests are open!!!

[cinnamondollz]

‧˚꒰🐾୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ navigation!! ˎˊ˗

“ Strange as angels, You're just like a dream ”

she/her :: baker themed ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. EN/ENQ ᝰ.ᐟ

gachiakuta centric blog ❀ contains spoiler

Reqs are closed!!!!

⏔⏔⏔⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔⏔⏔⏔

About the baker. Rules for requests

Masterlist

⏔⏔⏔⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔⏔⏔⏔

@dollzgravesite is my reposting account <3

[cashmakozume]

tattoo artist! iwaizumi hajime x nail artist! reader

oh no! you own the nail salon next to iwaizumi's tattoo shop. what do we do? him!

my masterlist

warnings // reader is female im so sorry it just flowed out of me, swearing, mentions of drunk men, smoking, kys jokes, a gun, mentioned AI once but u need to understand i will never use it

miyako's notes // i shat this out bc i couldn't stop thinking about tattoo artist! iwaizumi but i couldn't sit and outline a whole story for it IM SORRY shoutoutz to @dumdogs and @lilylilylilylilysstuff for enabling me

[cinnamondollz]

Hi! I cant remember if i actually sent a request for this or not(bad memory, if i did i promise im not trying to rush 😭)

But follo who has a sensitive neck and a reader who loves kissing him there to fluster him? Or his hair or something. Just something cute and fluffy if thats ok :) thank you so much!!!

Plz ignore if i already did request this 💔💔

꒰୨୧◞ Follo x over affection reader 。⠀.ᐟ

⤷ ty anon for making the most canon thing to ever canon

I imagine you first discovered this when making out or something. not heated or anything, just laid out on his bed as a movie buzz lowly in the background. You rested over his legs, going from deep seizing kisses to pressing light, feathered pecks all over his face and jaw. reveling in the warmth beneath of follo’s body beneath you.

follo exhaled through his nose— nearly a laugh. He swallowed as he tried to stow away all the nerves that moved restlessly in his chest.

“c’mon… now yer’ just teasing me…” he mumbled sheepishly.

“mhm.” you didn’t stop for a second. continuing in your descent with unrivaled levels of focus, going Lower and lower until you met where his adam’s apple bulged the most. This time lingering on it a little longer than usual.

A sharp, high pitched whined emerged from his throat, Small vibrations running their course throughout his body.

You pull back, eyes slightly widening as you fully asses the damage done. Follo’s Head lolled back, his face painted the prettiest of pinks in the shade of embarrassment.

A silence fell over the two of you. You flickered back and forth from his cornered expression to the blistering red mark. Follo shifted In his seat. nerves whirling wildly in his stomach.

“ Hey…don’t just look at me like that….say something.” He urged. the words come out half choked from the air you’d stolen from his lungs.

Slowly, your lips began to twitch. And from the uncontrollable twitching came devilish grin that made his heart race.

you slowly came closer, head playfully cocking to the side. “…what was that?”

Follo’s mouth fumbled for an explanation but nothing came to, And Any idea of a response vanished the moment you began to close the distance once more. A fire light up behind your pupils. An uncontrollable eagerness.

Your hands landed on either side of him, anchoring yourself to the bed as you leaned In, nearly nose to nose. Follo’s breath hitched at the proximity. Damn it. You could feel your heart pick up speed. You swore he got 10x prettier when he was like this, hair all messy, bangs falling over his eyes in clumps, looking completely stupefied. You bit down on your cheek for a moment, taking in the whole scene before—

“Can you do that again?” You blurted out in hush voice, The words spilling without a second thought.

follo’s eyebrows raised. “Wha…?”

Your grin widened, Small sadistic giggles escaping through your bared teeth. Jesus, you couldn’t even fake an ounce of shame. It’s a little tragic, really.

You press on. “well— I guess the question is can I do it again? I mean…. if you don’t mind of course?”

Follo’s body felt like it was on fire. Mind spinning, reeling from the assault you’d committed; Your words barely register in his pretty little head when he nods in agreement.

Within seconds your mouth was back on his pulse, Pressing long languid kisses into follo’s flushed skin. Reveling in the sweet huffs they coaxed.

You were hooked from that moment. But what really sold it was the morning after.

The dinning hall was empty, just you and follo and the sweet sizzle of batter on the stove. Follo’s head was tilted down, watching the pan carefully. The mark still was there. slightly less vibrant than you’d left it but there none the less. Everytime you looked at it the memory of warm skin would come back full force, Reigniting the excitement that lied dormant in your bones.

It was almost like it was taunting you. Egging you on. Begging you to just plant a few more pretty of those pretty pink splotches on his neck.

And hey! To your credit, you tried. Real hard. His forearms bulged as he gripped the pan, the scrunch of his face , the quiet focus in his service. you could only withstand so much!

You rose up, sneaking behind follo’s hunched over figure. your arms wrapped around his waist. Pulling him in close.

He flinched at the contact, nearly dropping the pan. Though he melted as he found your twinkling eye. Follo let out a relieved sigh. A soft smile forming on his face.

“Woah— hey…I’m gonna be done in a second okay?” He reassured, taking his hand off the pan and rubbing slow circles into the back of your hand.

You hum, dipping your head into the crook of his neck. Taking in the warmth of his body, your perfume and his morning scent mixed together deliciously. Slowly, you started peppering kisses again.

Follo let out another muffled, High pitched sound. He cranes his neck to fully see you, follo’s mouth thinned out to a sheepish smile. “Shit—! …Hey I thought that was a one time thing. Y’know, if I didn’t know any better I would think you’re enjoying my suffering…”

You tilted your head, letting out a soft hum against his neck, sending vibrations through his body. “I just wanna appreciate you.”

Follo playfully rolled his eyes, leaning in and pressing a kiss to your temple. “You do more than enough.”

You pull away from his neck, meeting his scrunched up face. “What That mean? you want me to stop?”

Follo’s lips pressed tightly together at your words, slowly looking away as that familiar shade crept up again. You pressed another kiss to his throat. when he didn’t pull away? That sold you.

Much to follo’s displeasure (overwhelming pleasure) a one time thing transformed into something of routine. Anywhere, anytime your lips would find his neck. Like it was their rightful place. I don’t think follo is the biggest on PDA but when you kiss there he can’t help but let you.

It’s typically quick. So quick you could blink and miss it. Sitting down, watching tv? On him. Waiting in line? Leaving marks up and down his neck. Working out? His arms are gonna be your personal chew toy.

his face is always the same too. bright red, nervous smile like the one he had when you first came his way with your bright smile.

Your favorite way to get a reaction out of him? Lipstick. Or really anything that would stain and leave a horrid mark that would stick around for a day or two.

You’d force him to sit on your bed. buzzing with nerves as you skimmed over the line you’d purchased on a drug store. Dilbertly taking your time picking out the perfect one, doing swatches on the inner side of your wrist. Then dragging against your lips. Then littered all over his neck. Pressing various, bright shades against his reddening skin.

He fisted the sheets, trying his absolute hardest to keep his wits as you did so. Throat continuously bobbing up and down up and down, swallowing his own words. Eventually you have to grip his jaw, forcing him perfectly in place.

“Stay still. ” You grumbled lowly. pulling away from the underside of his jaw, admiring the shade of Neapolitan pink on his tanned skin.

“stay still.” Follo scoffed. “you’re doing this to torture me.”

“Nooo…I’m doing this because I need to see which one’s the best. You see? I have a chart for it and everything!

Follo’s eyes followed your finger to the abandoned little piece of paper you’d brought out,way back when you first coaxed him into the room. Long forgotten with not a single piece of writing on it.

Quickly you pulled him back to you, pressing another one behind his ear. “Now let me work!”

And all he would do is sigh, slumping his shoulders and letting you pepper paint the canvas of his skin.

Don’t think he’s not gonna get you back though. He will find a way. (But that’s just a fiction, a fan fiction!)

[cinnamondollz]

Hiiii! Question are your asks open? I wanted to make sure before I sent one thx!!!

Yes!!! I was taking a little break this past week bc of exam season and I just wanted to write some things I had in my head before diving back in but I’m always accepting requests unless stated otherwise on my pinned post!

[cinnamondollz]

𓏵‧₊˚ ┊Seven minutes in heaven ! ˎˊ˗

⤷ Inexperienced!Zanka x Inexperienced!reader

౨ৎ cw: college au, suggestive, mentions of alcohol!

౨ৎ The closet was a lot smaller than it looked from the outside. A lot hotter too. But if that was due to the copious amount of liquor you and zanka respectively nursed throughout the night, or the claustrophobic small room your friends stowed you away in, is honestly up in the air.

Hot white electricity crackles between you in the darkness of the room. The tension pulled taut.

a silver of light peaks through the small crack in the door, highlighting the biting red hue painting zanka’s cheeks.

His fingers wring over and over as tension eats at him. Tearing and pulling at his weak heart as you both wait for the other to say something.

After a moment the words tumble out your lips in tandem. Rushed apologies.

“Y’know we don’t have to do anything—“

“I’m sorry about all of this— my friends are being ridiculous—“

Both of your mouths snap shut.

Zanka draws a long breath. Starting slower. “We don’t have to do anything y’know…’s just a stupid game…doesn’t mean ‘nuthin.”

You nod feverishly. “totally! they’re just being dumb.”

Zanka hums, letting his gaze drop to the his sneakers. shifting on the balls of his feet.

After a moment he comes back up to your lips. His lips on yours. The thought made him dizzy. he could feel the earths axis sway beneath him. God he wanted that. He needed that. He shouldn’t need that. He should have more self control.

“wouldn’t mean anything if we did either…if we kissed i mean.”

The words rolled off your tongue with a shocking amount of ease.

Zanka sucked in a sharp breath at your words, All movement coming to a screeching halt.

Shit.

his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed down the countless, restless emotions raising in his throat. Causing his voice to strain.

“yer’ right…wouldn’t mean a thing. ‘s just a stupid game.”

Zanka’s stare dragged down even lower. Eying shamefully the way the fabric of your outfit clung to you in all the right places.

The room only grew hotter and hotter like a powder keg about to explode. The stagnancy of everything. The lack of action between either of you was suffocating. Even you doing something as simple as stepping a little closer gave him orgasmic levels of relief.

You chewed the bottom of your lower lip in consideration. Just barely meeting his wavering gaze.

“so…what now? are we playing or…,”

You pause. Letting your eyes roam to his waistband, his sliver of exposed skin that peaked out below his sweater.

“…are we just gonna sit and stare for seven minutes?”

Zanka couldn’t help but snicker. “you say that like it’s a bad thing.”

you shake your head, letting out an awkward chuckle. “no no it’s not not bad…i dunno..”

Zanka’s head tilted slightly. Taking in your expression. His mind clouded by the warm buzz of alcohol, all rational thought thrown to the wind.

his body urged him closer to you. The force magnetizing. All he could focus on is the way your lip poked out, the dip of your cupids bow. So many things clawed at him to say, some less sleazy than others.

Zanka’s voice comes out hushed, a little strained as he slips out the most controlled one.

“I mean…do you wanna play?“

You bite your bottom lip. Gnawing at it in consideration.

“I mean— I wouldn’t mind.” You said half heartedly.

Zanka smiled. “Yeah?”

you nod after a moment, continuing. “yeah….yeah i mean there’s different worst people to makeout with.”

A light scoff escaped him, his smile thinning out into a smirk. “and uh— what is that personality or looks?”

You giggled. The sound coming out so light and warm, like a melody he’d never heard. “Can’t it be both?”

The warmth Zanka was experiencing only spread. He doesn’t think he’d ever been so greatful for the lack of light; he could just imagine the cackle you would have if you saw just how red his face was.

“It can always be both.” Zanka affirmed, voice wavering ever so slightly.

Zanka’s eyes dart to the door for a moment. The neon strobe lights, the indistinct chatter. No one would know. It would live and die here. In this room. The idea made the air feel less oppressive. Him boundless to the shackles of gravity.

He returns back to you, The softness in your features, the plumpness of your lips. The soft shone of your eyes.

He closed his eyes. Letting the ache of want pull back from the shores of his mind for a moment. Letting the tides settle ever so slightly.

He exhaled slowly, facing you once more. “Alright…I’ll let you take them lead then.”

You stilled for a second. An electric current shot through you; the feeling bounced around wildly trapped in your lower stomach.

Your lead. He was all yours. You began to smile so hard your cheeks hurt. You came closer, so close you could see his pools of dark pools of blue shine like diamonds.

Your hands shook. Over come with an inexplicable buzzing sensation. your whole body in an instant became a live wire ready to burst into wild dancing heat.

you, slowly and incredibly unsure wrapped around his neck. Pulling Zanka into your center of gravity. One arm lowered, Finger tips grazing the sensitive skin just below his jaw; cupping it and letting your lips come together.

Two stars, full of energy colliding. Chest to chest. Heart to heart. As your lips press against his, a black hole formed. The obnoxiously loud bass outside, the indistinct chatter. It all faded in an instant. Silence is all you can hear. heat is all you can feel.

Zanka sat there for a minute. completely stunned as the reality of it all smacked him all at once. Zanka’s fingers trembled uselessly at your sides.

His head screamed at him to move. Do something to sweep you off your feet like enjin had suggested to him oh so long ago. Or something sweet like they do in the movies but he can’t do it. He can’t move.

After a moment of your soft ministrations you pull away.

You panted softly. putting a few inches between you. “shit— was that too much? That was way too much wasn’t it? ‘m sorry..”

Zanka started at you a moment. Chest heaving, mind moving at a mile a minute. Darting from your eyes— full of debilitating uncertainty and want—To your parted, slightly swollen lips.

It was too much for him really. The proximity, the rhythmic thumping that shook the door, the strobe lights that have been giving him a splintering headache for the last what— 3 hours? Only enhanced by the liquor he’d been nursing down his throat. and now the most problematic, you. staring at him all half lidded. flushed.

You continued to ramble and spiral on and on. And as horrible as he felt about it, he couldn’t bring himself to listen to any of it. Not with all the distractions in the way.

So after maybe 40 seconds of it, he decided to get rid of the most problematic distraction.

His head dove down with the swiftness vulture. Quickly seizing your lips with such a force that it sent you stumbling back into the wall.

Zanka’s hands shoot out to your hips for a semblance of stability. His fingers take root to the meat of your hips, Small crescent moons forming as they commit the feeling to memory.

“shit—“ He hissed silently. A sting of apologies at the tip of his tongue. Ones that are quickly stepped away as your lips push back.

More confident this time, your arms wrap around his neck, The centers of you two merge as you fully press yourself against him. a black hole takes its place. One that obliterated everything on the otherside of that door.

He could taste the liquor on your lips. The buzz. The taste only intensifying as it meshed with his own drug of lust.

with every gentle minstration His chest drew in tighter and tighter. warmth spread across his body.

The kiss was inexperienced to say the least. messy. But neither of you could bring yourselves to care. Liquor made everything looser. Easier. The idea that time was an illusion had never seemed so plausible as it did now. Everything slowed and sped forward as it pleased.

One minute his lips were on yours, next they were slowly trailing down to your jaw. Pressing hot kisses down all the way to burning pulse. And contrary to how fast he got there, the act seemed to last forever.

Not that you were complaining. definitely not. Especially judging by the whine it was able to pull from you.

God your whines. That’s all he really needed to press into you a little harder. For his breaths to get a little faster.

Zanka snickered against your neck at the noise. “That f’me?”

Your begin to squirm under his scrutiny but before you could break free he pulls you back. A wide toothy grin playing at his lips.

“uh uh, don’t hide from me…c’mon do it again. pretty please? promise i won’t tease ya too hard.”

He didn’t give you the chance to answer. His teeth latch onto the junction of your neck and collarbone; playfully nipping at sensitive skin, illiciting another, slightly louder moan to slip from inbetween your attached mouths.

“your so mean…” You whispered. Your arms tighten their grip around his neck.

“oh i’m mean?” he mocked, the pleasure in his voice unmistakable. overwhelming.

You nod, then the pain races up again as he attacked. Your head lolled back on instinct. Giving him more than enough room to wreak havoc.

Slowly you slid down to the floor, pulling zanka down with you. Not breaking contact once.

Zanka peered up at you. His drunken, half lidded gaze makes your lower stomach vibrate with anticipation.

“c’mon, tell me what you want? i’ll stop if you ask?” His tone was still teasing but just the smallest hint of concern peaked through.

You scoffed before pressing your lips to his mouth.

“I want it…your just mean.”

Zanka snickered as you shifted slightly, straddling his lap.

“and your a brat—“ Your hand grabs his face and pulls him in.

He melts instantly. His hands find their way home at your hips. Slowly traveling up your midriff. Zanka was never one to make grand statements, he thought it was kind of corny. But he was sure in that moment he was in love.

So in love that he couldn’t even register the light slipping through as riyo yanked the door open.

“alright, times up losers!—“ Riyo’s eyes widened at the sight of you two before a devilish smirk crossed her face.

“oh my…”

Riyo started digging her pocket, pulling out her phone. Light flashed, capturing every bite and hickey on your skin. The swollen lips and the overall mess.

To add insult to injury she was cackling too.

“Shit you guys actually did it! wait oh my god i knew it! I knew you two liked each other, hah!”

Overjoyed, Riyo ran off into the crowd, Leaving you both exposed and red in the face.

you looked over at zanka’s mortified face. No doubt he was sobered up now. Jaw completely slacked as reality came crashing down.

You leaned in.

“well…did you…regret it?”

Zanka scoffed, shoving you lightly. “yer’ such an ass….no. i didn’t…”

You grab a hold of his collar, pulling him in for a kiss.

“good.”

A/n: AYYY SUMMERS HERE!!! IM FUCKING FREE, NEW SHIT LATER THIS WEEK!!! (some Sadder them others…why tf did one of my favs get kirked…)

[cinnamondollz]

♯ Gn!Reader x sleeper build!follo .⌇𖦹 ׂ

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ cw: Suggestive!!!

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ All of follo’s clothes, like a lot of the cleaners, are baggy. damn near consuming him with the way the soft material hung off his shoulders.

It made him look skinny, small. like the way a kid does when their parents throw a white sheet with cut out eyes over their head.

I mean sure, you expected some muscle. He trained really hard physically and mentally to become a cleaner worth respecting. But you definitely didn’t expect as much as he had.

The first time you saw him was after the whole information broker thing.

You were curled up on his bed, idly flipping through magazines.

The door creaked open. Your eyes shot up at the sound and you meet the exhausted, half lidded gaze of your boyfriend.

He broke out into a soft grin as your eyes lock.

“Darling you won’t believe what happened.” he groaned. Follo’s left arm reached up, pushing back sweat slicked bangs.

His Hair was tossled. sweat dribbled beneath his bangs, making them to his forehead in such a way that made your chest a little tight. with his uniform slung over his shoulder—

your eyes can’t help but travel a little down south to his clavicular.

His collarbones popped out with every slow inhale. Adams apple bobbing as his throat searched for anything to cool him down.

His chest heaved. Dribbles of sweat falling at the hard curve. Taking your stare along with it.

you landed at his torso. The curve from the small of his waist to where his baggy pants lowly hung off his hips. Down the way was lined with hard muscles that strained against skin in bold strokes. The land riddled in scars and minor bruising.

You feel your cheeks heat up at the sight. An akward little smile plays on your lips as you force your eyes back to his face.

“Oh really?” you finally hum after a moment of ogling.

“torture, i say. Torture.” Follo sighed.

He pushing himself forward off the door. Your breath shortened as you caught the way his forearms flexed as he drew himself closer.

he landed next to you with a soft bounce and began talking. Though the words don’t reach you. Instead it comes out more like the low nonsensical buzzing of a machine.

All you could really focus on was all the details you’d been to blind to see. The veins, the hard line of his shoulder and abs, his biceps—

god his biceps. You kept coming back to those in particular

His best feature is definitely his biceps. The many veins that ran in down to his wrist like rivers.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ from that day forth you were obsessed. You never longed to see something so bad. Any excuse you had to see them, you pulled out.

Granted you tried to be subtle. Asking him to do things such as opening jars and fixing things. And follo, ever so happy to be helpful, would oblige and you would shamelessly ogle.

“follo!” you’d call and he’ll come rushing to see you with a pickle jar in hand. veins popping in your arm as you struggled to pop it open.

As you look across the room to find him you light up and held it up to him.

“can you open this? i swear to god ,it’s made out of super glue or something… “ you would grumbled. Eyebrow furrowing in frustration.

follo fought a small smirk, all most prideful that you immediately thought of him.

He took it from you and setting it down on the counter. You’d watched as the veins popped and muscles twitched. with faux, very very practiced ease (hey! can you blame a guy for wanting to look good?) it would pop open.

A love sick smile tugs at your lips. “woah…look at you superman!” You clapped.

Follo’s cheeks warmed. “‘s not a big deal…’m sure anyone could do it.”

“No i’m serious! you’ve got like— Hercules strength with those muscles!” Too close to the truth you internally scold.

The raw admiration peaks through your tone, as it often does whenever his muscles got brought up.

Follo let out a soft chuckle. He reached around and scratched his neck bashfully, waving you off.

Hell who was he to correct you? Especially when your warm voice made him melt like butter.

The charade definitely doesn’t go on forever though. Follo may be slightly oblivious even when it came to love and attraction but he was way too observant for his own good.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ The first hint he picked up on was the increasing amount of the attention you payed to him.

Well, that sounds a little wrong. You payed attention to him, just not much to his body.

Whenever you hung out, Usually involving you slumped between his legs on your mattress. your fingers would dance along the hard strokes and firm muscle. Rubbing up and down in all the ways the killed him.

poor baby follo would try his hardest to feign like he didn’t notice. Like he was totally unaffected. Though he would eventually break.

“Sweetheart?” He would hum, gently coughing to disguise the way his voice rose in pitch.

“mh.”

“sweetheart.” He tried again. You didn’t look up, not even a quick glance.

Follo sighed. “ you’re not even listening to me are you?

“no no i am…” you insisted half heartedly. Taking the opportunity to “reassuringly” squeeze the fattest, meatiest part of the arm.

And follo wouldn’t press any further, but damn did he notice.

The buzz he felt from your hands on him was like no other. But it would be too foreword wouldn’t it? plus that might’ve just been your thing! You drew stars in his palm too so it was no different right?

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ The second thing that ticked him off was how all of a sudden you became very eager to spot for him.

You were never overly concerned with his workouts, i mean they were fine but you didn’t really care all that much. however, After a week or two of your…fascination, you had his schedule memorized. 

Every Thursday, Friday and saturday after work he’d try and take refuge in the cleaners training room. 

You think you’re soooo sneaky and soooo cool about it (you’re not.) 

you would pass by, walking back and forth, lowly whistling as  you snuck glances into the room. 

You watched as he went about his routine. Lifting weights, push ups, planks, etc. Analyzing the slight crease of his brows and the way his arms shook when he leant down.

You tried to keep your distance. to control yourself. I mean what would follo think if he knew just how much of a freak you were for a little muscle?!

It wasn’t like follo was like a body builder or anything like that. just real lean with a prominent v-line that ran from curve of his hips to where you’d never seen. abs that curved around the cinch of his waist to his belly button. It wasn’t anything to freak out over!

Though your body always held more weight than your mind.

So When you see him drop onto the mat, you couldn’t help but rush over to “help”.

you burst into the room at the sound his body hitting the floor. as you enter you snatch the water bottle at the front counter and looming over him.

“Follo—“ you called.

his head jerked up at your voice.

he looked good. Too fine. He was strung across the floor on his stomach, allowing you to clearly see the low curve of his spine. the broad width of the shoulder, The hill of his ass.  

You almost felt bad for looking at him like that. “You uh— you okay? I thought I heard something…”  you coughed. 

Follo smiled. “Yeah, I just got a little tired as all. No need to worry.” He slowly lifted himself back up with a soft groan.

He pulled his shoulder back, wringing it around in slow circles. “You need something?”  

You scratched behind your ear. Shifting on the balls of your feet. “Ah uh…no…“ 

You should go. You needed to. but you couldn’t leave yet, not when he was right here in front of you! Besides, that would be a waste!

 “But it is late. Maybe i should wait here though? To make sure you don’t trip up again?” The excuse was clunky, but you needed this. Bad.

follo’s lips pursed for a second in consideration and maybe a sprinkle of confusion.

“You really don’t have to do that. It was a one time thing, I don’t usually roll over like that I promise.” he weakly smiled

Your eyebrow twitched. Damnit.

“Yeah but, better safe than sorry right?” You smiled.

“you don’t gotta worry—“

“c’mon just let me stay!!!” you quickly interrupted.

After a moment he broke out into a grin. “you’re so damn sweet to me it’s unfair.”

“sweet” …yeah. that was one word for it.

any excuse to put your hands on him you took.

Your hands would trail down his shoulders with biting electricity. Rubbing circles into his muscles, coaxing out breathy whines and groans. Or you would press down on the elasticity of his abdomen to help him with some work out.

as soon as you got that little piece of premission you had gone haywire. Everyone could see it. and everyone else could see just how bad follo loved the attention

The tips of your fingers set him on fire. the warmth of his body paired with the chill of your hands was criminal (hes nearly came every time)

don’t even get started on if he’s injured and your patching him up. Which is also how you tragically said the unspoken.

Follo was slumped against the hospital wall on the small cot. Legs spread apart where you had taken place.

You gently felt around the gash in side. Antiseptic made the raw irritation of skin burn brighter and brighter against his tanned skin.

You felt around bruised, twitching muscles as best you could.

as soon as the cotton swab loomed dauntingly over the wound he let out a small gasp.

“shit.” Follo hissed. Chest heaving as he sucked in the air around him. His muscles hardened beneath your touch.

You pressed down on the meat, gently rubbing soothing circled into skin.

“sorry sorry…” you winched.

“no no no… keep going, i can take it.” He Huffed in a hurry.

You bit down on your bottom lift as you studied the slash. After a moment of deep consideration and a deep breath, you fully committed the cotton swab to the plunge.

Follo’s head lolled back as he let out another broken whine.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he tried his hardest to hold back. You licked your lips. Your mouth was embarrassingly dry, it was damn near pathetic.

The look on his face made your lower stomach buzz with excitement. You swallowed and forced your head down past the glistening distraction.

“You know…atleast your abs gonna look badass.” You tried to lighten.

He looks down at you, eyebrows raising slightly.

Shit.

You quickly try and salvage. Looking back towards the first aid kit by your side and begin wrapping scratchy gauze around the damage. Pressing down once more, pushing a sharp gasp from his lips as you begin wrapping it around his slutty waist.

“I mean— not that they don’t already look look good— They look amazing. Like i would knaw on them if i could!”

Every word that spills out of your mouth digs your hole deeper and deeper. And when you finally manage to shut up and meet his half gaze you can’t help but feel pinned.

“you pay attention to my abs?” He stammered.

“Huh?” you blinked.

“…you think my abs look nice?”

God he had the worse case of puppy dog eyes ever. The room just got hotter and hotter under his scrutiny.

Your mouth opened and closed stupidly over and over. It was all too much, the proximity of you between his legs, his body heat infecting your own.

“…I…I mean…yeah. Your whole body looks great, it’s like a models.”the admission comes out low it’s barely audible.

“Ah! also how could i not notice i’m literally your spotter— trainer— whatever!” you added quickly.

“….” Follo’s cheeks began to swirl into a pretty pink. His entire body locked up. Rock hard.

You begin to sweat. five months of dating and you still got all nervous and awkward around him.

Follo didn’t say anything. His eyes just darted from yours to the placement of your hands on the cinch of his waist, the blood on your finger tips from your recovery efforts.

“baby…” He started slowly.

Your fingers come to halt. tremoring with nerves with no where to go.

“is this why you offered to help me when i work out?”

Damn it.

“i uh—…maybe?”

“y’know…I wouldn’t mind you looking at me like that, right?” he started slowly. like traveling across a mine field.

Your head snapped up almost instantly.

Follo looked away nervously. his face getting redder by the minute.

“I mean i could start sending you pictures of me flexing or working out whenever you’re not around… really you could do whatever you want with them.”

“…whatever I want?” you slowly repeated. like the words were too good to be true.

“yeah i mean… yeah whatever you want.” He nodded.

“huh…” you couldn’t stop the devilish smirk from forming on your lips.

“shit is that weird? sorry…”

“no no! you’re fine! I just didn’t think you would let me…think of you like that.”

“i mean I get— i mean everyone has their thing right? Plus your hands feel really nice so…”

You tilt your head at that last part. “they feel…nice?”

“Yeah…i mean especially when you’re helping me out. I dunno i just like being close to you i guess.”

Your eyes trail back down to his abdomen. You could feel your mouth begin to water slightly.

You gulped and nodded. “yeah…yeah me too.”

Your gaze flickered back and forth between him and his abdomen a few times. The tension in the air was almost nauseating.

You scooted closer and your hands began to trace over the sensitive bulging buds again. The bruises and cuts. This time your touch a lot less restrained as your wrapped him up.

Follo sucked in a deep breath as your slender fingers slid comfortably around his waist.

follo let out a shakey, high pitched breath. at the squeeze of the bandages around his ribs.

Yeah…you were in love with him and the feeling of his body against yours. You needed this. Therapy.

a/n: erm sorry this is short and a little clunky but some dumbass at my school decided to make finals week the same week i get out for summer??? so im kind of stressed and tired out. Reqs will be up soon tho!!

[cinnamondollz]

Hiii!!! I read one of your stories and I alr love your account ❤️

Can I request a Zanka x Jabbers sister reader? (If requests aren’t being taken ignore this!)

(I’d love for the reader to be black as well I haven’t seen a black reader x Zanka 💔)

Basically Zanka and the reader have been secretly seeing each other behind everyone’s backs bc he’s a cleaner and she’s a raider!!

But one day they get caught meeting up by Jabber!!

Thank you!

(And a tiny bit of info abt the readers vital instrument if you want to somehow add it in!)

Her vital instrument is a phone charger (listen to me) and when she uses it she gets electricity like powers and can use the charger as a rope or lasso.

݁ ˖Ი𐑼⋆ caught .ᐟ

Since zanka met you—the pretty raider who Kidnaped him along with team Akuta and team child—he found himself doing things he never thought he would do.

Things like letting criminals get away with petty crimes. letting her lip through his window. calling for hours on end. wasting time better suited for training. And falling into a consistent routine of slipping out of bed at 12:30.

Scaling the poles of a rickety, steel fire escape. waiting at the broken step a few feet below your window. hanging on only by a loose pipe and pure strength like a kid on the monkey bars as he calls your name, letting it echo off dusty brick into the solemn night. admiring the sound.

within seconds you appeared. face glowing at the sight of him, which in turn made his cheeks flush.

You watched him as he swayed in the wind. eyes trailing down the veins of his forearm that were caught in your light. particularly on the way they bulged from strain.

A small smirk formed on your lips and your hand dramatically drapped over your forehead.

“Oh Zanka, Zanka! whereart thou zanka? Where is my love? my heart!”

He clicked his tounge, looking away sharply. as he felt the heat rush to ears“…Thats not how that line goes and you know it…we really gotta do this everytime?”

“awh, c’mon you know you like it.” You mock. leaning further out the window. “plus, fitting ain’t it? With you scalling up my wall and all?”

Zanka huffs with half hearted exhaustion “tch…c’mon just let me up rupunzal. been waiting all day for this..”

Your eyebrow quirked up in feigned shock. “Oh so you do think about me?”

“You know the answer to that already don’t you? C’mon, know you’ve been thinking ‘bout me too.”

You grumble something about his impatience before letting your cord down. Zanka quickly reaches for it and as soon as contact was made it snuggly tightened itself around his wrist, hoisting him up to your window and bring you two face to face. Noses almost touching.

“Oh! And there he is!” You hum. Leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek just to see how he lights up faster than even he could prevent.

His breath hitched at the soft feeling of warm skin against him. The proximity almost too much for him to bear. He schools himself into a frown in some attempt to save face.

“Here I am indeed…” he mumbled, ignoring the way his throat tightened and voice fought not to waver.

A few more kisses trailed haphazardly up his jaw. Zanka’s muscles surrender under the warmth, allowing himself to slump against the glass and for his legs to part.

You slipped in between. holding his face in your palms as you continued your voyage across his skin, Watching with pleasure as his eyes go all half lidded.

A lazy smirk crossed his face. “ Palm to palm is holy Palmer’s kiss.” He hummed. his southern draw thicking as exhaustion over takes him. Earning a snicker from you.

“Nerd.” You chide.

Zanka let out an incredulous scoff. “You started it.”

“Mmm…but ‘s not the same when you do it.”

“Hater.” He smacked, lacking any real bite.

Zanka’s finger reached up and twirled your twists around his forefinger lazily while he began to return the favor. pressing kiss after kiss across your bronzed cheeks.

You pull him further into your room. loudly stumbling along to your mattress, carelessly bumping into things, suppressing tiny giggles. shushing more yourself than him.

Over the course of your little rendezvous you’ve both have gotten more careless than what was preferred. actually— necessary would be more accurate.

this whole thing had serious consequences. in a sense you were both betraying what you held dear, you knew that. however the world seemed to fade to black whenever you were together, too high off emotion and the gummies stolen from your brother to care.

you two landed on your bed with a bounce. Zanka found himself melting into the soft curve your chest, in between your

that’s how most of your nights were. him slotted between your thighs, listening to you rant and rave about whatever had been inconveniencing you that week. Naturally, he’d do the same but today seemed to be your turn.

“missed you..been bored all week. Zodyl’s busy cooking up something, so now i’m stuck lying around listening to jabber yap all day about random ass bullshit..” you grumbled.

“uh huh.”

“he’s been experimenting with some new stuff lately. now he never shuts up! he could see a bug and now, all of a sudden he could write a whole dissertation about it.”

“okay well how is that different from how he usually is?”

“ the difference is with these—“ you reach down to your side drawer, pulling out a pack of half eaten chocolate. “— he’s actually quieter than usual. like sometime I think he’s up and died.”

zanka’s head tilts to the side. “would that be so bad?”

a sharp giggle erupts from your throat. “c’mon you tripping. he’s not that bad. ya’ll just got off to a bad start that’s all.”

playfully you pinch the side of his arm.

Zanka looks back to you, face all scrunched up in annoyance. “can we be so serious.”

You lean back on your elbows. Tilting your head as you downed a piece of the chocolate. “I’m always serious….want one?”

You extended the rest of it to him.

Zanka scrutinized it long and hard before shaking his head. “one of us gotta be alert.”

“hah? i’m always alert.” you pout.

He scoffed, crossing his arms as he shifted.

“really? because last time i checked i’ve always been the one to hear when someone’s coming, or to remember when it’s time to go.”

Both were facts. Zanka had ears like a hound dog and was a lot more cautious than yourself, not that you really liked to hear it.

in fact your lower lip poked out in a pout every time he did.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re alert, unable to relax and just spend time with me, i hear you. loud and clear.” you rolled your eyes.

Zanka craned his head up, getting a better look of the way your eyebrows furrowed.

“you say that like it’s a bad thing.” He hummed out.

“Just so you know, if i didn’t keep my ears open and let you just— be; we’d be caught. Either by your leader or your mental patient of a brother.” he reminded.

“again, not that bad. Not bad at all and you know it.” you half heartedly defended. You Knew as good as him the type of person your brother was but you couldn’t help but want to see that spark in his eye when he gets started.

Zanka’s jaw ticked. “he’s borderline psychotic. you saw what he did to me.” he grumbled lowly.

you hummed, maniqured fingertips combing through his chocolate and vanilla colored bangs. Whatever rant he was about to go on is quickly forgotten at the sensation. Sucker.

“So what if he don’t feel bad? I didn’t feel bad neither when i saw how he did you. That mean i’m no good either?”

You teased in that honeyed voice of yours.

He hated that. How you knew every trick in the book to make him melt into you.

Zanka’s lips pressed together in mock consideration, trying harder than ever to school his expression. “well, look at you now. Treating me like i’m some kind of pet. i’d say that’s pretty wicked of you.”

As your kisses begin to trail zanka began to shake your head.

“not— not the point though, imagine if he caught us. like this.”

you picked at a piece of zanka’s hair, toying with it between your fingers as you huffed. “don’t think he’d do much to be honest…too lazy for that.”

“okay well— you’re biased so your opinion can’t really be trusted now can it? he’s your brother.”

To seal alway another retort you pushed his bangs back, exposing his forehead and pressed a few languid kisses there.

“look, he won’t find out. And even if he does, if he cares about me he won’t mess with you.”

you could see from the small line formed between his brows that he didn’t quite believe you, But the feeling of your fingers on his scalp were too much for him to call it out.

So instead he melted, head lolled back as you played with his hair; Droning on and on about your week.

the words don’t reach him. only bits and pieces over the low buzz of the world around him. The screeches of cars speeding outside with music blaring out so loud you could hear it from miles; the silent murmurs of scummy raiders only a few feet away from your thin walls.

All of it served as background noise to him while he studied your face, your vasalined lips that shined even brighter under your fluorescent overhead light.

The horrible thing about the night is that there wasn’t any signal on the passage of time. No shades of gray, bright blue, or orange and pink. just a dark, cosmic black.

He was supposed to keep his wits. to be the responsible one. but not tonight, he couldn’t, not in your arms.

but his warm haze came to a screeching halt when loud cackle bursts through the halls.

Zanka immediately sprung up at the noise, putting distance between the two of you before being rendered completely ridged as fear sized his body.

His eyes darted between your door and yourself, who looked almost equally shaken. Eyes widened and mouth gone slack.

Zanka zeroed in on the sound. The stifled giggles, the overly jolly footsteps hitting the worn wood flooring over and over.

shit.

Zanka jumped off the bed and ducked beneath your bed, Holding his breath against the dust that coated the floor. in a matter of seconds your door swung open and hit the wall with a thud.

A voice rang out, maybe one of the worst voices he could’ve heard in that moment— jabbers.

“hey…you didn’t fuck with my supply right?”

Zanka’s face almost dropped for a second in a surprise.

Jabber’s voice didn’t carry the same giddiness or mania that it did in the past. For once he almost seemed completely relaxed. his words came out gruff. slightly strung together but not incoherent.

he could hear the the bed creak as you shifted around.

“What shit? you smoke half of it.”

“how would you know I smoke half of it if you’re not in their consistently?”

There was a beat of silence. He could almost hear the gears churning in your skull.

He could imagine how you craned your neck forward in feigned disbelief as you simply said “How the fuck does that correlate???”

“if you’re not in there, then how do you know?”

“because it’s a friday night and you don’t do anything but make weird shit and nobody trust your weird ass strain of weed so you test it on yourself?”

Jabber smacked his lips. “man that’s some bullshit and you know it. i can’t believe you would even try me like that, i thought we were close.”

“…Im looking at you in right now and you look higher than a kite.”

Jabber didn’t respond. He just rolled his eyes and he just started mumbling under his breathe as he began rummaging through your dresser

“flyer than a kite i get high than rapunzel , keep the snow white i could buy it by the bundle—“

You reached for a pillow and throw it at him.

Before it could slam into the side of his head Jabber caught it and without turning towards you thrusted it full force.

you jerk to the right, the white lump narrowly missing you and instead ramming into your head board, pushing it into the wall with a loud thwack

“Are you good?!” You shouted, the shock and disbelief overwhelming.

“I’m cool! I’m feeling so good! You however, clearly aren’t because why would you would you touch my shit?!”

“I just told yo goofy ass i didn’t touch anything!”

Jabber puts his hands over his ears. “Liar. Liar liar— lalalalala!!! Can’t hear yo lying ass!”

Jabber continued in his search. Anxiety begins to bubble in his gut as Jabber gets closer and closer. Eventually landing Right in front of the bed, his only escape. Blocked off.

there really wasn’t anywhere to run. Jabber was infront of the only window, no doubt he’d be seen. and the bags of braiding hair and the boxes of product behind him were blocking him from crawling out the other side.

Don’t look. For the love of the sphere don’t look.

You hopped out of the bed, trailing right on his heels. Berating him and trying your hardest to get him to turn around.

Jabber shifted through each and every drawer. Every paper. every hair and fashion magazine. looking at each one with meticulous precision and heavenly efficiency.

When he found nothing his eyebrows furrowed.

A small relieved smile formed on your face. “you see? there’s nothing. so just go back to wherever you came from.”

Jabber let out a low groan.

“damn…if you don’t have it…ugh. “ He tilted his head up to meet the low glow of your overhead light.

you crossed your arms. “c’mon, say it. I was right and you were wrong and then we can both just go about our business!”

Jabber took a long pause just staring into the soft glow of your overhead light; not blinking once even as his eyes began to get all bleary.

suddenly his attention snaps to the bed.

A grin formed on his face. “ohhh i get it… damn you got me real good there.”

your eyebrow quaked up in confusion. “…huh?”

jabber dugged into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He crouched on the ground, all fours and flicked the gas on. Coming face to face with wide eyed, petrified zanka.

A heavy, long stretch of silence weighed over you three.

Zanka could feel his soul leave his body. his skin turning a sickly white.

“….No way….no ‘effing way…”

Jabber looked between the both of you. over and over as he tried to figure out the scene in front of him.

Zanka couldn’t move. He couldn’t think, look He couldn’t even tear his eyes away. The sense of was too much. A reaction is what he needed it.

Zanka could see that moment in jabbers eyes when everything connected.

A slow, wicked smile pulled at his lips.

He knew the lay out of your room pretty well, if he moved fast enough he could probably run out the door. Or maybe jump out the window. He waited for it. For the moment Jabber would pounce.

But it never came. Instead Jabber started laughing uncontrollably. tears pricking at his eyes.

“No way! You and mr bad additude?! Jeez you have horrible taste!”

Zanka’s jaw goes slack at that. He couldn’t even respond. All he could let out is just a small “…huh?”

Jabbers smile widened. “c’mon mr Bad attitude! watcha doin’ down there! you ain’t tryna hide from me are ya?”

“what— i— why the hell would i hide from you?”

“i mean…you’re dating my sister behind my back, maybe you were scared of what mankira could do hm?” Jabber chuckled to himself.

You shot Jabber a glare. “hey…”

Jabber threw his hands up in mock surrender. “woah woah! No need to get all ticked off i’m just playin’ i swear! got way bigger fish to fry…wouldn’t hurt your little boy toy over here too badly anyway.”

“Jabber…” You warn.

“i’m kidding jeez…since when where you did you get all sensitive?” Jabber groaned.

Zanka grumbled something incoherent as he pulled himself out of the dark sea of dust and debris.

“Won’t you just get on somewhere? you were looking for your stuff and it wasn’t in here so just go okay?!”

Jabber finally shot off the lighter and got off his knees. He pressed against jabber, far too close for comfort

“nah i’m too invested now! tell me, when did you two fall for each other? was it instant?”

“That’s none of your business…” Zanka sighed.

“uh— yeah it is. can’t have somebody who couldn’t give a rats ass marry my sister now can i? wait— oo! that reminds me, we need to run that fade back! gotta make sure you can defend her too!”

Jabber raised his hand. with a sharp metal shink his claws unsheathed.

You grabbed Jabber’s wrist and began pulling him towards your door. “Bye Jabber.”

“what— no i gotta fight him! he owes me!” Jabber whined in petulance.

“Then do it later when you’re outside and away from me!” you gritted

“c’mon let me stay, let me stay!” he begged

you started to dig in your pocket and hold up the rest of the chocolate you’d eaten earlier. Dangling it in front of him.

Jabbers eyes widened. “Hah! so you did take it!”

“First of all, i didn’t. you gave it to me. And second, i give you this you leave and you don’t tell anyone what you saw today.”

Jabber groaned and looked at it. Eyebrows furrowed and twitching as he thought it over. He snatched the chocolate. turning on his heel.

“Yeah yeah….I’m still getting my fade though. See ya mr bad attitude! don’t get too carried away, stay safe!”

Before Jabber could fully close the door, You hurled another pillow his way. Though it ends up hitting the door.

Jabber stuck his tongue out mockingly

then fully closing the door with a thud.

You let out a heavy sigh. “Sorry about that…he’s not psychotic but he’s definitely annoying.”

Zanka gave an awkward smile. “you don’t say…”

You exhaled, pulling your hair tie out and letting your jade braids fall from their hold. The clacks of barrett’s and beads echo throughout the quiet room.

“Look what he said earlier— i wouldn’t let him seriously hurt you. He’s just talking, you know that right?” You frowned.

Zanka gently grabbed your wrist and pressed his lips to yours. You could feel your face slowly heat up as you felt the plushness against yours. His scent of jasmine and vanilla evading and mixing with yours.

You stayed there for a moment. pressing back gently. Sadly he was the one to break first.

“look…you ain’t gotta apologize for ‘nuthin. i mean…my siblings are kind of crazy too. So your brother doesn’t scare me. I’m here for you y’know?”

You wrap your arms around his neck and give him a peck.

Zanka ended up staying for a few hours past what he was supposed to. But he couldn’t leave you. He was way too deep into. even if you your brother was a nut job.

[cinnamondollz]

Hello!! I hope you're well. I've had this thought ever since I started watching Gachiakuta and made Zanka my favorite character. Could you do a Zanka x Reader oneshot (maybe Chubby!Reader) story with a one-sided rivalry? As if the Reader thinks Zanka hates her because every time she tries to talk to him he's kind of rude and unbothered, but in reality that's just him trying to act nonchalant, and when she leaves he just thinks, "Another completely normal interaction with her.!!💪😤"

ּ֯ . ❥ ּ֯ ┆꒰ it’s too cliche, I won’t say (I’m in love.ᐟ) ꒱

𑣲⋆ paring ˋ°•*⁀➷ Academic rival!Zanka Nijiku x f!reader

𑣲⋆cw ˋ°•*⁀➷ Fluff, rivals to friends, mutual pinning, small miscommunication, reader is implied to also like zanka, modern-ish au where jabber and Zanka go to the same school

𑣲⋆ after being paired together with his rival on a project, zanka is confronted with an awful realization

Zanka couldn’t rest. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat. He couldn’t even pay attention to the lesson in its final minutes. His leg bounced uncontrollably, anxiously waiting for the bell.

When you first moved to the central hell guard training academy, zanka didn’t meet you. not for a long while.

Actually, you wouldn’t even pass each other in the halls till a year after.

You may not have met formally, but by god did he know you. how? well, he knew you from the moment you stepped foot into the school. Hell he knew more than he’d liked to honestly— not by his own volition, of course.

No. he knew you from the endless whispers you’d stirred for “soaring above the rest.”

for how “talented and smart” you were.

for how “charming” you were.

and the ever present comments comparing you to him. The words varied from person to person but the sentiment remained the same.

“she’s great…with her talent, i’d reckon she’d knock even zanka down a few ranks.”

Or worse— the insistence that Zanka and you were in some secret relationship.

It was the one he couldn’t escape, for some inconceivable reason that was the one. It was everywhere, not even at the comfort of his own home could he escape it. That was definitely one downside to having a family who’s so involved with everything.

Zanka shifted in his seat uncomfortably. memories of the night before slowly creeping up on him and seeping into his thoughts.

Per usual it was just kyoka, goka and himself at the dinner table. A familiar silence filling the distance between them. the only sounds being the faint clashing of metal and porcelain.

“Zanka.” Kyoka called lowly. the type of tone that could cause anyone to freeze.

and zanka did as such. eyes widen like a deer in headlights as he slowly lifted his head to meet his sisters gaze.

“hm?” he answers simply. pushing back whatever discomfort her voice brought.

“your grades are slipping.” She says matter a factly. not heated, no room for debate, not even full of disappointment (very very rare).

Zanka’s brows knitted together at her words. Despite himself he couldn’t help the confusion peaking through his tone. “wha?”

kyoka’s lips pressed thinly together. Gears turning behind her eyes before she let out a heavy sigh. “I looked at the ranking—“

“i’m number one.” Zanka immediately added.

“you are.” she hums softly before adding— “but the gap between you and that one girl…cutting it kind of close aren’t you?”

Zanka’s stomach churns at the mention of you. He knew well what she meant, the thought had been plaguing him with every passing day. he almost wanted to scoff, or beg them to let it go even though he knew deep down they wouldn’t.

He shifts slightly. An excuse at the tip of his tongue before kyoka made another remark. “is something distracting you?”

His body moved faster than his mind. He shook his head automatically. “course not.”

But Kyoka wasn’t swayed in the slightest. Her gaze intensified as she pressed forward. “you’re in the same class as her, correct?”

Zanka nods. His gaze fell to his food, shuffling it around in hopes that maybe the conversation would pass. Hell it works every other time.

“yeah uh— we’re both in AP statistics.” He answered in a low mumble.

Kyoka slowly nods. silence stretched over the three of them.

Goka looked between the oldest and youngest, His stare was particularly scrutinizing. judgment ridden all over his face.

“Do you talk?” Goka eventually asked.

Zanka swallowed the bile in his throat. “uhm— occasionally. only when it’s when necessary.”

kyoka’s eyebrows furrowed in the way she usually does when she’s trying to decipher something. as always it only takes her a few milliseconds to catch on. fascinating when observed, horrifying when directed.

A small smile tugs at kyoka’s lips. “she’s pretty isn’t she?”

Zanka swallowed. The question was a dirty trick. he knew it too. You were pretty. soft features, big rosy cheeks, always wearing a kind smile on your lips. you were pretty, but it was a trick. he knew it from the smirk on Kyoka’s face.

the safe thing to do would to lie. Avoid the question entirely but as he opened his mouth the words got lodged in the throat. Like something in him wouldn’t allow him to lie.

So He shut his mouth and quietly against his own will, agreed. “yeah…she’s…pretty.”

He regrets his admission as soon as it leaves him and he catches the glint in his older siblings eyes.

Kyoka presses him some more. “She’s awfully kind too yeah? i heard she does lots for the community.”

Bigmouth strikes again. he should’ve known better than to open his mouth…

zanka sinks in his seat. He could feel Stomach acid bubbling and bursting with every passing second.

In some attempt to correct his error zanka let out a scoff. “oh well i wouldn’t go that far.” He picks up his fork once more, actually eating what was infront of him instead of pushing it around like a child.

Kyoka’s brows snot up playfully. “No? why not?”

Zanka took down his final piece of rice in one big gulp. “well— she has a horrible ego. Patronizing. Snarky. Whatever kindness she has is fake. No doubt about it.

Goka slowly nodded as he finished his own piece of meat. “So…you dislike her?”

Zanka nodded (a little too quickly.) “I hate her.”

“hm.” Goka huffed. Pushing out from the table and taking his place at the sink with his empty dish.

“hm?” Zanka repeated in near disbelief and certain confusion. That easy?

“well—“ Kyoka started. it was always a well with them. He could never win with them could he?

“y’know…there’s an ancient saying. The line between Love and hate is a thin one.”

Zanka froze for a moment. They’re not— no. No way in hell.

He’s snapped out of it when a piece of sausage slipped in his throat.

He loud wrenching sound erupts from deep in his chest. His fist clenched and drummed on his rabid heart, the other gripped onto the table. Small indents forming beneath the pressure.

His fist beat Over and over until it a thick, mangled brown piece flew out. Coated in spit.

“i’m— i’m not—“

“Oh don’t be childish.” Kyoka sighed. “All i’m trying to say is be wary. It’s an old saying but it still holds true. One minute you hate, the next minute you’re in love. What’s important is to—“

“i’m not gonna fall in love.” Zanka cut off. Quickly gathering his plate and putting it beside goka.

“Oh everyone says that. Just be aware okay? You don’t need to fall in love at your age. just focus on school.” Kyoka rose up, dusting herself off. She eyed the chewed up piece that rested by zanka’s foot.

“Goka, Zanka will clean up. Be in bed by 10.” With the turn of her heel she was down the hall and Goka obediently followed.

when you finally came face to face he was dead set on hating you.

but does zanka ever get exactly what he wants?

Bbbbriiingggg!

the school bell announces. slicing through his thoughts and jerks him up from off the wooden desk his head had been laid at for the past half hour.

everyone else was already half way out the door, spilling into the hallway.

He quickly gathers all his things, stuffing them into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

he swiftly slipped into the hall. integrating into the sea of body’s and making his way through. his feet carry him down with an uncanny eagerness in their steps.

he could feel his heart pound against the honey cage of his ribs, The sound of it shaking him so hard it echoed in his ears. He gripped the handle of the door and ripped it open.

His eyes dart around the room for a moment. Finding your eyes faster than he probably should’ve. You sat in the row next to him, leant against the desk as you fumbled with a small egg shaped device in your palms.

You glance up and your eyes meet his. Greeting him with a small polite smile that just radiated warmth. Zanka’s teeth dig into the pink flesh of his gums, holding back a small noise as his chest ached.

He forces the corners of his mouth to sink into a tight lipped frown. Eyes darting away from yours. God how were you so sweet? His mind cursed. The most he gave was a small nod of acknowledgement before making a b-line to his seat.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see your face fall flat, Quietly returning to the toy you were messing with.

It wasn’t long before the rest of your peers seeped into the classroom, filling up the empty desk and replacing the tense air with lively chatter. Including yourself, big smile on your face as you gossiped with a group of girls surrounding your desk. Biggest grin on your face.

Everyone always went on about how charismatic and beautiful you were. All day, everyday. day to dusk. He heard it so much it made him sick but what deepened the feeling was the fact you were all those things and more.

He wasn’t an idiot. Or at least he wasn’t enough of one to the point where he could deny the blatantly obvious. On the flip side though, he was enough of one to let his feelings for you get…convoluted.

“Settle, settle!” The teachers voice boomed throughout the room, shaking its foundation and sending everyone scurrying to their seats. In her hands were a stack of papers, so tall they were practically up to her chin. At the sight the class erupted into small complaints and pre mourning of grades.

“Ah, no use in getting all whiney and boo-hooing! It’s graded people, what’s done is done.” The woman practically sang with a sickening grin, full of delight on her face. She danced down the isles, handing off papers like candy to mostly crushed students.

Except for you of course. You perked up in your seat. A fire burned in the depths of your eyes as she got closer and closer to the two of you.

Face down she places both of your tests on your respective tests simultaneously. Zanka could feel his chest just get tighter and tighter as anticipation rises in his chest. It was ludicrous the amount of nerves buzzing.

He did well. He knows he did well, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind. But did he do better than you? Enough to earn that shining smile? That was the million dollar question.

He wanted to scratch his eyes out. It didn’t matter. He had more important things to do than imagine the look on your stupid face when he scores higher than you. When you’re forced to fully acknowledge him as a peer, not in the same way everyone else in class was. A true peer. An equal.

god if he could wrap his hands around his own throat and strangle himself until he turned blue he would.

It was often Zanka would find himself in this position. schooling himself on things that he should already know. Mostly late at night but he couldn’t help but to notice that annoyingly it’s seeped into midday too.

He glanced over to you as you unfolded the paper, watching as satisfaction painted your pretty face. He could faintly see a 100 and something written out in crimson red ink.

He looked back on his own. carefully peeling open the paper with shaking hands to reveal a clean 100/100.

A smirk stretches across his face at the score. He slowly leaned back in his seat. moving loose brown and blonde locks from out of his line of sight. Scanning through his head for the right words to put together. For the one the least forward and the ones that lacked any true affection.

eventually he settled on one. (though it really did take longer than he’d liked.) He craned his head to the side, calling out your name with a bit of a strain. You whip your head around with a soft hum. Wide rueful eyes trained on him.

God why did you have to look at him like that? Why did you have it out for him so bad?

He could feel himself wilt ever so slightly under you but like hell if he ever lets you see that.

“what ‘cha get?” he hummed. Simple. Easy. The way it should be.

your expression relaxed as a small sigh leaves you. Eyes getting all half lidded and a lazy smirk to go with it.

“why ‘ya so interested in what I got going on? What do you got going on, huh? What's your score?” you hum. Not the same sweet one you gave everyone else, but rather mocking.

Zanka snorted at your tone. “101 out of 100, extra credit.”

you stifle a small laugh. “really?”

“i don’t got a reason to lie to ‘ya do i?” he questions softly.

you don’t say anything. Just another one of your small considerate hums and the small tilt of your head.

Zanka found himself at the edge of his seat. leg bouncing eagerly. “c’mon, I told you, tell me. what is it, a D or something like that?” he teased lightly.

you scoff. “you wish.” you lifted the paper up, dangling it in front of him like a prize.

102/100. of course.

frustration and irreconcilable disappointment builds in the pit of Zanka’s stomach.

he looks away with a slight pout. “congrats.” he gritted out. Every syllable leaving him feels like pulling teeth.

Your expression softened ever so slightly. lowering the paper and placing it back onto your desk.

“relax, it was probably a small thing. c’mon let me see.” you leaned across the isle. eying his paper.

Blood swells under his skin at your proximity. beating and popping against it until he could feel his ears whistle and cheeks grow hot. He forces his eyes away from yours. snatching the paper out of your reach, pressing it close to his chest.

“h-hey back off!” The words are immediate. Firm. Enough to shake you and enough to shock himself.

Shit. He’d almost wished he bit his tongue from the look on your face. It’s subtle. One of those ’blink and you’ll miss it’ type of things, a small look of genuine hurt. Or atleast that’s what he thought, you didn’t give him enough time to properly tell. In a millisecond you went back to your usual snark.

”Okay okay…just trying to help but since you’re just so above help, guess I’m not needed.” You huff. Turning your nose up and away from him.

Zanka’s teeth tear and chew at his bottom lip. A part of him tugged at him, telling him to apologize. To tell you how he didn’t mean to be rude but— you didn’t really look hurt. Just a little rattled at his outburst. Furthermore, you went right back to your cheery self. Talking and laughing and sharing scores with the same group from earlier. Plus plus— he didn’t even like you. God why does that fact keep escaping him? He couldn’t give two shits.

So, instead of speaking up and awkwardly apologizing in front of you and your phony friends, he just slumped in his seat. Finding a clock on the wall and putting all his might into watching its hands jerky movements around the circle until the sound of Ms. Kiyoko’s booming voice came crashing back down like a tidal wave.

“You all got yer’ sobbing and complain’ done right? Good, good. Now, looking through the homework last week you lot didn’t quite get anything I’ve laid down to you. So—I thought of a fun little project for us all.”

The whole class bursted into grins and sighs of relief. Even you were beaming like the whole world went Technicolor.

As Ms. Kiyoko raised her hand she let out a loud disappointed tsk. “Ah, don’t get too excited now. I’m picking your groups.”

At her cruelty, everyone’s excitement morphed back into their usual state of depression. Earning a small wicked smile from the woman. She reached around to a small tin can, filled with thinly tan popsicle sticks. She raised it in front of the class, swirling it around.

“With the exception of our two star students, Zanka and y/n!” She clapped with the tin cup before setting it down in front of you two.

Your eyes both respectively dart between the sticks and each other before eventually you nudged his side. “Your pick.”

His eyebrows knitted together at the jab. He let out a small scoff. “Why? You’re closer.”

”First of all— no im not. It’s about 17.9 centimeters from me while you’re only 16.5.”

He couldn’t even stop his eye from twitching at the absolute bullshit you just threw at him. Add that to the long list of things he couldn’t stand about you. God forbid you didn’t get your way and all of a sudden you’re an actual supercomputer. If he’s honest he’s debated with himself about the actual possibility of that. If the sphere had sent down some lustrous robot to fuck with him.

The itch to make a snarky remark is one that begs for instant relief. Control. That’s what he’s lost around you. Control. He hates you for that too. So in a grand effort he doesn’t say anything particularly harsh, just a small grumble and a grunt calling you a “filthy liar.” Which you were.

He squeezed his eyes tight. Plunging his fingers into the cluster and putting his trust into fate to weave to find a good one.

A silent prayer rings in his mind to the sphere. That maybe whoever he got would be half decent, even if they were lazy. (Then again that may be a little better than the rest. At least he wouldn’t have to re do half assed slides at 2:00 am.) Or maybe he’d get someone pragmatic and not completely annoying.

after a moment he grips on one and slowly picks it out. As he opened his eyes, his blood ran cold. Why did the universe hate him…

When he opens his eyes he’s met with your name scribbled in black ink on the other side of the stick. Curiosity strikes you and a shit eating grin forms on your face.

”c’mon can’t be that bad—“ You lean over his shoulder and the same expression flashes across your face.

”…No way.” You hiss.

Ms.Kiyoko does the same, except her grin is only reinforced tenthfold. “Oh? Oh.” Her hand shoots to cover her mouth.

”Our first pair has been made, Zanka and y/n! Now you two go find a nice desk to sit at, hm?”

Zanka’s moved on autopilot to his seat and you plopped down right beside him. There was no way. No way the universe just did him like that. Everything that followed blended into the background. complete white noise.

The white noise stayed for a long while. Even as ms. Kiyoko began the instructions, he could only faintly hear that it was something about the environment of the Kamuitari District compared to the rest of the ground’s atmosphere and turn it into a graph. But— fuck, that didn’t matter.

He couldn’t fathom it. How could the world completely chew up and spit out his faith like that? What did he do so wrong to outright deny him even the most simple pleasure.

Zanka stared at his desk, recounting every moment in his life that led up to this while you talked at him. All he could do is just nod obediently. Which earned a scowl and a shove from you.

”You’re such a dick, you know that?” You pull out a piece of paper and scribble down your number, sliding it in front of him. The bell rang out and you pushed off from your now shared desk, slinging a bag over your shoulder.

”When your brain grows back, call me.” And with that you disappeared into the swarm of people.

***

Jabber’s laugh crackled through the cafeteria, earning stares from passerby’s and a roiling red faced Zanka.

”It’s not funny goddamn it!” Zanka snapped.

It did nothing to slow down jabber though. “No no you right…It’s fucking hallarious! Getting paired with your crush who hates your guts, i feel sorry for ‘yo ass.”

”She’s not my crush.” Zanka sighed, leaning back against his seat. “She’s too damn bossy, too loud, vapid. Forget having a stick up her ass, she is the stick.”

Jabber nodded, grin still plastered on his face. “So you both have giant sticks rammed up there, see? Match made in heaven!”

Zanka’s face contorted into pure disgust. “Don’t even go there.”

Zanka continued with a scoff, crossing his arms. ”I can barely stand talking to her. Dating her would be hell. I’d bet she’d lecture me on not— kissing right or something. Or maybe not holding her hand tight enough.”

”you’ve thought about kissing her?” Jabber said, that familiar spark lighting in his eye that he always gets whenever he finds an opportunity to tease and to poke and prod.

”Wha—no! No no no. I’m just saying, it is mathematically, biologically impossible for us to ever date.”

”man if you don’t sit the hell down somewhere, no one said anything about y’all dating. All i said was that there is a very thin line between love and hate—“

Zanka clamped his hands over his ears like a petulant child. “No. No. For the thousandth time I do not like her. I do not love her. I am firmly on the side of hate. Holy shit why does everyone keep saying that..”

Jabbers eyebrow quirked up. “Who else said that?”

”My sister and brother of all people. They went on this huge thing about how the gap between us is closer than it should be and how girlfriends and crushes are all distractions. And then why I told them I couldn’t stand her, they said just that.”

”Shiti i mean…one person is whatever, two people is odd, three is definitely a sign friend..”

”Nah fuck that. You people are on bull and you know it. What evidence do you even have? You need evidence for a claim, isn’t that what you science people always say?”

Jabber clasped his hand and sprung up right. “All right since you wanna go there…You talk about her constantly. Whether its about grades, or just her annoying you ergo, she is constantly on your brain. You are pushing yourself to be better than her and when you are you gloat about it, not even about the grade just her and how she looked. Speaking of which— you do pay way too much attention to her face.”

”So, the court concludes that you like her.”

“I don’t— you’re making up evidence.”

Jabber sighed, slumping back into his chair. “For a guy who claims he’s so smart you sure are an idiot.”

”Anywho” Jabber continued on. “What’s the project anyway?”

”look at statistics, make a claim. Didn’t hear much about it though…Damn so I have to call her.” Zanka grumbled plainly as if it was the simplest thing in the world

Jabber nearly choked. A bit of coke spraying from his mouth and dripping onto his shirt. “You have to be kidding me.”

Zanka Grimiced at the sight. “Ew what the fuck Jabber—“

”You have her number?” Jabbers light tone disappeared in an instant. The switch sent a shiver down Zanka’s own spine.

Zanka’s eyebrows knitted together. “…Yeah? She gave me it.”

Jabbers eyes batted like he couldn’t believe the words falling from Zanka’s mouth right now. Squinting his eyes and twisting his head every way like he was trying to make sense of this before finally saying “You are so fucking stupid.”

Zanka huffed. “You are thinking way too deep into this. She doesn’t like me. I don’t like her. It’s all a means to an end.”

Jabber opened his mouth and quickly shut it. ”You know what— sure man. If you truly, genuinely believe that, sure.”

“you know what, why do you even care? Don’t you have someone else to bother? What about that one guy? The short one?

”Fuu? Not here today. So congrats you get to see your best friend!”

Zanka sighed, finally taking a bite out of his cold soup. “Just my luck…”

Jabber’s lips smacked and let out a small giggle. “Awh…don’t be like that. I mean who else is gonna help you and little miss perfect?”

”Nothing to help.” Zanka reminded.

Jabber stuck his tongue out. “You're so boring. So what is your plan ‘hm? For the ‘project” As he said this, Jabber picked a meatball from his plate and haphazardly flicked it at Zanka’s forehead. And much to his dismay Zanka dodged it with ease.

“Asshole.” Zanka mumbled under his breath before continuing. ”I dunno…call her? Make a plan and get an A? Normal stuff that partners do.”

“Right…Well…see ya mr. Bad attitude!" With a huff, jabber sprung off the rickety little bench and started skipping off.

“Wha— wait where the hell are you going?” Zanka stammered.

“I have other things to do and since you don’t want my help, Imma get on somewhere. Plus, it’s not my lunch period anyway.” Jabber hummed.

”…How are you the number 3?”

“Cus’ im smart, later Mr. Bad additiude!”

***

Apart of him really wished he had taken Jabber's advice when he first offered it. Jabber, despite all his odd ways, knew people. Far better than Zanka himself did. If he didn’t know better he would call Jabber. But he did know better and that knowledge told him he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he ended up calling.

Leaving him here. staring between your number and the keypad on his phone. It shouldn’t be this hard. ‘It was the same thing as talking to you in class, just over the phone.’ He scolded himself.

But every time his fingers hovered over the numbers it was like everything he ate from the past two days was gonna come up.

He attempted to swallow it down. It was fine. It’s just business. Just keep it formal and everything would be okay.

With a stupidly shaken hand, he typed in your phone number and watched as it ringed over and over. His throat swelled as the seconds moved at a snail's pace. Thoughts spun at the back of his mind. One’s that didn’t even make a lot of sense considering everything.

Like if the number you gave him was fake, Or maybe you were watching seeing how many times he’ll ring. A way to Make fun of him in some weird way with your phony friends. The logic in it? Non-existent. But it didn’t stop his brain from going haywire.

But it all came to a screeching halt when your sweet voice hummed through the speaker. “Hello?”

Zanka swallowed. God why was his throat getting so dry? “Uh— hey it’s Zanka. You told me to call about the project?”

You were silent for a moment before you let out a small gasp.“Oh yeah! I almost forgot about that, I’m sorry I was gonna call you first but i was—“

”n—nah it’s cool don’t worry.” Zanka awkwardly reached his head and rubbed his neck. Racking his brain on the next thing to say. “Anyway, we should start at the library. I remember seeing a study from the college—“

”Oh I already found those during lunch. That and a history timeline as we know it currently.” He could just hear the smile on your face.

Zanka’s muscles tightened at your words. The lightness. Of course you already found something. While he was sitting around ruminating you were already thinking up everything.

“Right..” He grunts out with the tick of his jaw. “And you’re sure you got the right one?”

You pause. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Zanka very thoughtlessly continued on. ”I mean…You’re kind of low so you might’ve just gotten the one closest to the ground.”

He could just imagine the way your eyebrows furrowed in offense or annoyance. The way your mouth parted slightly in disbelief.

“…You know what I’m gonna ignore that. I got the right one. I checked three times with the librarian. Maybe you should focus on yourself and your thinking,”

Zanka’s lips pressed together thinly. “Why would I ever need to worry about my thinking?”

You scoff. “I mean if I’m recalling correctly you were the one who zoned out earlier. Not me.”

Should’ve saw that one coming. Zanka exhaled. “That’s not a regular thing and you know it.”

Zanka collapsed onto the bed behind him. The intensity that overtook him melting off him as the mattress dipped under his weight.

“Really? I must be blind then because I see it all the time.” Through the receiver he could hear your footsteps gliding across what sounded like wood. And then onto a chair.

“Liar.” He sneered.

”You know what I know you didn’t call me just to argue so what do you want?” You groaned.

”well— I was thinking that we should meet over the weekend to work on the project?”

“The weekend?” You said incerdiously.

Zanka’s sighed. “What’s wrong with the weekend?

”I mean there’s nothing wrong with the weekend but you don’t think it would be wiser to meet sooner?”

He clicked his tongue in consideration. You were right as you usually were but something in him just couldn’t. “…Maybe.” He replied weakly

As seconds passed your light, cheerful tone just got more and more annoyed. He could just see the way your nose scrunched up. ”It’s not, maybe it is.”

”right, right.” He solemnly admitted.

You took a breath. A small bit of your usual lightness returning to your voice. None the less still exasperated. “So when and where did you want to meet?”

And foolishly he said the first thing that came to mind. “My house?”

Your breath hitched slightly, followed by a long pause. “Your house?” You repeated slowly.

And it was times like this he desperately wanted to reach his hands around and choke himself. His head begged to take the words back. To skirt quickly passed it like he’s had dozens of times but as he opened his mouth, his throat constricted the words from coming out. Not only that his heart ached.

And it was times like this he desperately wanted to reach his hands around and choke himself. His head begged to take the words back. To skirt quickly passed it like he’s had dozens of times but as he opened his mouth, his throat constricted the words from coming out. Not only that his heart ached. 

Zanka nodded. “That’s not a problem for you right? C’mon I swear I don’t bite.” He forced out a small chuckle, more to put himself at ease more than anything.

”…Fine.” You relented in an exasperated huff.  “What day?”

Zanka cocked his head to the side. Above his desk, a few inches above a jasmine plant he’d been gifted a few years ago, hung his pale blue calander. His gaze narrowed to find a day without some type of note. Over and over again just to be met with nothing again and again.  Tomorrow there was a student council meeting. the next was tutoring, and the day after was  training with Kiyoka. 

The meeting was sure to be a drag. Other snobbish kids sat at a table talking about things that wouldn’t even matter past graduation. So was tutoring, which he didn’t really need. Kiyoka on the opposite end of the spectrum was very important and needed, so naturally he vetoed that out of the realm of possibilities. He could skip student council but he wouldn’t hear the end of it from everyone involved.

 Leaving… 

“Thursday? Afterschool” His tutoring day. Which honestly made his heart soften ever so slightly.

Your teeth kiss your gums. Before you could pull out an argument , Zanka quickly added. “It’s enough time to gather all our sources, make a conclusion and buy what we need.”

Gears churn in your head. Obnoxiously loud in the silence between you. “Uhhh— yeah that should be fine.”

“Cool, cool…”

Your voice crackled over the receiver again. “So that’s it?” You ask slowly.  Softly.

His stomach panged at that reminder. It was right about now that he should hang up. He’d done his part, made the plan and got you to agree. He should be researching right now, you already got a head start (which he was sure you’d find some way to rub it in his face.) so he would have to work hard too. 

His hums in agreement. “That’s it.”

Zanka pulled his phone out from his ear and in front of him.  thumb hovered over the ‘end call’ button. Muscles twitching. Itching.  But his heart tightened again. His damned heart, always getting in the way of things. Clouding his head. Filling it with the stupidest ideas. Like staying up, listening to you talk far into the night to the suns morning stretch across the sky.

He shook his head.

 You started up again.

”So uh—“ God he could just hear your smile. Feel it’s infectious glow through the grainy microphone. He couldn’t do this. No way in hell he could.

”So uh—I gotta go.” He quickly interrupted. So quick he was sure it came out all mashed together. Clumsy. Lacking all the grace and poise that Kiyoka had drilled into him since he was a boy. 

You come to a screeching halt at his words. signaled by the soft click of your tongue. You force a small polite laugh. “Uhm— yeah. Yeah yeah!…It is kind of late isn’t it?”

“Yeah…So uhm…Bye?” The words come out sharp. Maybe a little condensing too….He really should’ve called Jabber.

“Bye—“ Before you could even finish the whole word Zanka’s thumb slammed onto the red button. In the blink of an eye, the phone shot across the room as if it was hot iron. Zanka’s hand shot out for a pillow and pulled it around his ears like a true coward.

It took a few seconds but his heart was relieved of its painful hold. Breath slowed with every pant.

He’s so screwed. Just what the hell was wrong with him?

***

He’s so screwed. Just what the hell was wrong with him?

That Thought followed him far into the night. His eyes burned as he tried to focus on something, anything to lull him to sleep. But the clock in his room was too loud. Everytime he nestled into scilence it would interrupt again and again. The game went on for hours.

His gaze flickered to the stupid thing. He shuffled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. Zanka’s eyes turned into slits as they strained against the darkness.

12:20

With a huff he reached for the lamp at his bedside.Tugging and swiping at the air until he found the string like structure.

With one pull about a quarter of the room illuminated under the yellowish light. Zanka blinked a couple of times under the blinding light. He stretched across the bed, finger tips feeling the cool metal of his laptop. Both hands grip the sides and with minimal effort pulled it off the cord. Propping it up on his thighs and booting up google. Entering in one simple search

:How do you know when you like someone?

He didn’t know what compelled him. Maybe it was Jabber’s constant insistence or maybe his siblings but he searched it.

Zanka’s results filled with Reddit posts and outdated buzzfeed quizzes from 2015. He scrolled endlessly. Desperately for one that would be deemed satisfactory for his tastes.

He needed to be certain. He needed to know this was all in his head and he was right all along. All it would be was reinforcement that his glances and mysterious heartaches at the sight of you weren’t because of something was intangible as love, but innocent rivalry.

Until finally he stopped at a Reddit post dated to two months ago. He clicks and he reads. 

It was a story about a guy who had mysetrious feelings about a girl. He described her as if she hung the moon and stairs. Lines droned on about her smile, the warmness in voice. The magnetic pull. A lot of the people in the comments called the guy an idiot for doubting himself, encouraging him to go for it. It was all disgustingly sweet. 

Zanka laid back against his pillow, Shut his eyes so tight it stung.

You did have a good smile. He didn’t even have to close his eyes he’s seen it so many times, though never directed at him. He Could see the way your rounded cheeks pushed up as you smiled, the way they made your eyes thin out. Not once had your smiles  ever seemed fake or forced in any way. How could someone ever be so happy and full of life? Especially someone at the top. Well— Jabber was always cheery but he’s a human enigma so he hardly counted.

Your voice had a lightness to it too. Honeyed. Smooth. Sometimes when you said things in presentations it would make his body freeze. Weird. 

He found himself staring at your lips more than he should but that— that didn’t mean anything right? It was a normal part of the face.

he shouldn’t be so resistant. He knew that. but he couldn’t help it the idea was just so inconceivable. 

Suddenly his eye latched onto this one comment.

Been married for twenty-five years, married her after the 5 together. If someone asked me 30 years ago if i would marry my now wife, I honest to good would’ve laughed. I didn’t like her at all, I really did think she was stuck up and full of it since she was pretty popular. We got into arguments all the time, nearly fist fought each other a handful But something weird happened. It was almost like the more I hated her the more I grew to like her. I likes having stupid debates with her and her calling me names. That stupid grin on her face everytime she did so made my chest ache. The minute she gave me a real compliment I could hardly breathe Everything I thought I hated I began to appreciate. Like her smile, her voice. All the things you said in your post.

Love is strange and unusual so I don’t think your stupid, anon, like tons of people have been calling you. The line between love and hate really is a thin one—

His hand flew down and shut his laptop instantly. Nearly smithing it out of existence (hell he would if he could.)

The were a few more lines but he couldn’t bare it. He could hardly take most of it but that last, haunting line he couldn’t take.

Zanka’s hands ran across his face. The digits pressing into his eye sockets, rubbing until he was almost certain that the memory would be scrubbed. But even as he opened them again the text popped right back up in his brain like one of those mole rats at the arcade.

Zanka wondered what did he do. What for he do for the universe to inflict some of the worse horrors onto him. He was in denial but not an idiot. And he had enough brains to understand when it’s time to give up.

He had a crush. That was the long and short of it. He wasn’t in love (god forbid). But he definitely had a crush. 

He thrust his laptop onto the plethora of stuff animals by his side before rolling over onto his stomach. 

As always he was left with way more answers than he started with. Hell he’d gone right back to square one.

What the hell was wrong with him?

***

The next few days he kept his distance. Or as well as someone could when they’re forced to work closely together with someone. Every time his heart tugged at him, he would drag Kyoka’s words to the forefront of his mind. 

Stay focused. Love, relationships, friendships. They’re all distractions, don’t get wound up in emotions.

So he tried his best. Being short with you, brushing off your attempts to get closer and your smile. Your godforsaken smile that was burned into his brain. The way your cheeks were pushed high on your face and the way your blood gleamed beneath the skin. He adverted his gaze always. Tried to catch every waver and inflection in his voice (Most of the time in vain).

But how does he manage that when it was just you and him? No excuse to leave early or act like something more ‘important’ had caught his eye. Or act like he just zoned out. How can he do all of that while having you in his very neat, very organized room that didn’t have many things (if any) to distract him.

With every passing day he wishes trash would come down and crush him. Put him out of his misery. Dealing with you— who was very persistent in trying to get him to open up at least a little— and Jabber— who has laughed at him every damn day without fail at his plight— was gonna give him an aryersum. 

He could cancel. Send a short text apologizing and saying something urgent had come up and he couldn’t do it. No, that was way too obvious.  Oh! What about faking food poising… wouldn’t work.

He sat on the cobblestone steps of the school. Swarms of students filter out every exit of the school, yet you were nowhere in sight. His legs bounced in rhythm with his jack hammer of a heart. The suspense was killing him. The sun shined too bright. Too warm. It seared the back of his head.

His fingers gripped onto his thighs. Small crescents forming even through the fabric. God, where were you? He’d practically sprinted here. Pushed passed people with little regard for their glares and curses. egged on only by his mind's own insistence you would be here because you were perfect and you’d get the joy to laugh in his face. 

And once again he was wrong. Leaving him here. Sitting on the steps, having to bare looks full of disdain, his own embarrassment and autumn’s frayed leaves; that for some reason or another wouldn’t stop pelting him.

He couldn’t even blame you. Like an idiot, He’d  worked up himself up about it, As always his initial  frustration turned to adrenaline pumping through his veins and an instatiable need to win. 

Angirly, he pushed his school bag off his shoulders, placing it in front of him and digging through. pulling out the one of many textbooks he’d shoved into his bag that morning, and his notebook. 

He snapped open his glasses, pushing them up the slope of his nose. 

He followed his thumb across his own messy scribbles at the page. Over and over aimlessly to pass the time till the words blurred together into a meaningless blob. Even then he kept going.

Suddenly, something meaty smacks into his back. Jerking him forward, sending his glasses flying down the steps.

“Oh— hey what are you doing here so early?!” A cheery voice chimed. Your cheery voice. 

He tilted his head up to see you standing above him. Eyes wide like a doe’s with your lips slightly parted in shock.  He could feel his blood vessels swell and his cheeks get painted a pretty pink.

He looked back to his glasses. He lent forward, taking the arms between his indexes and thumbs. Scrutinizing the lenses.

His lips pressed together and  thinned out into a line. Forcing himself to a frown. “What am i doing? Waiting here like we agreed on. Though I guess that must’ve slipped your mind.” He sneered, shoving his glasses into their case and into his school bag. Again, it wasn’t our fault but he couldn’t help himself.

Your head droops to the side, confusion running its course. “Of course I know that dumbass, Why do you think I’m here?”

“Yer late.” 

A scowl plays on your lips. “What? No, school ended 5 minutes ago.”

Zanka craned his neck out. Returning the same scowl to you. “You said once school ends.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah. It takes five minutes to get down. Who the hell gets here on the dot.”

”Well first off, i do. And second—“ Zanka’s scowl quickly turned into something more teasing. “Guess that just means yer a major slowpoke.”

you swat the back of his head. “just shuddup already.” 

Zanka let go of a heavy breath. “What even took you so long—“ unintentionally his gaze flickered down your form. A small yet tragic mistake on his part. 

You were out of the frumpy uniform the academy made everyone wear. Replaced with a light pink and white vertically stripped baby doll top with a lacy sweetheart neckline and white shorts that stopped at the mid thigh that fit a little too snuggly  for him to tear his eyes away from the plumpness.

All the oxygen in Zanka’s body gets cut off instantly. brain dead at the sight. His mouth had found a mind of its own. Opening and shutting, over and over as he tried to string a sentence together. After a beat, Zanka’s head snapped away.

“Don’t tell me…that’s why ‘yer late?!” Zanka choked out weakly.

Your mouth gets pulled into a frown. Eyebrow twitching in irritation. “What about it?…C’mon say it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” He quickly corrected.

  “I just—“ He sneaks another glance towards you, absorbing the details of it all then snapping back to his shoes the moment blood starts to swell. 

 “why?” He hissed. 

Zanka’s questioning does nothing for you except for egging on your annoyance. “Okay well— how about I like it? Is that a good enough reason for you?” 

You huff. Stepping down from above, calf knocked him in the head as he did so. “Now c’mon, I wanna be home by 9.”

A high pitched yelp escaped Zanka. His hand reached up, pawing at his scalp to soothe. With an unintelligible grumble, Zanka  followed you out to the gate.

Zanka’s house wasn’t too far from the Academy. Nor was it particularly hard to find. It stuck out like a sore thumb next to the others in town both in aesthetic and stature. Furthermore it rested atop a small hill.  All in all, it was nearly impossible to miss.

The two of you walked side by side down winding, twisting roads. You slightly in front, quietly sulking. Something that should’ve relieved his overcrowded mind. I mean for the past week you’ve done nothing but drown on and on; But as you both cut through allies and strayed further and further from your starting point, it only piled onto the jumbled mess in his head.

Zanka’s steps widened. A magnetic, otherworldly force pulse him closer. Only rationalized by the thought of that it was the distance. Or maybe even the subtle sway of your hips that was distracting him…but that’s one more intrusive than conscious.The type of thought that pops up once in a while and is shoved to the back of his mind instantly.

Ultimately it did nothing, A couple minutes passed. About 75% of the way through the noise got overwhelming. White static crackled and popped insufferably.

Zanka sighed, his eyes urged him to look back but for once his will was stronger. “You’re sulking too loud.” He points out flatly. 

He can hear your steps slow at his words. But all you do is a small, indifferent hum of acknowledgment.

His tounge kisses his teeth. Silently he spun on his heels and gave into  himself to look at you. “Look—…I’m sorry.” 

He could see in his peripheral your eyes widened. He continued “You look…nice I was just irritated….Now will you talk to me damn it?” The words are like pulling teeth. 

A small, triumphant snicker forms on your lips. “Mmm ... .Y'know that was a half way decent apology.”

Your eyes shot to the opening  to a flea  market in the distance. The corners of your mouth curled even wider. “Wanna make it fully decent?”

Zanka’s eyelids drooped in exhaustion. “Hell no.”

Your arms crossed. 

Like he said days ago to Jabber. Prissy, bossy girl. 

***

Zanka watched as you climbed up the winding steps. 

The stairs were probably the least cared for parts of the house. Vines and foliage seeped through the tiny cracks, crushed beneath your black  soles as they slapped against the worn cobblestone with glee. 

While he, once again, lagged behind. Shackled down by the two shopping bags hung from his wrist, his school bag, and a bubbling, familiar feeling of anxiety; The type he’d grown somewhat accustomed to over the week but never failed to catch him off guard.

He’d mistakenly thought he’d coped with the whole idea of this. You being in his house. In his room. He’d thought about it endlessly, embarrassingly far into the night. Imagined you perched on his bed, scribbling into that light green note book of yours. He thought he was ready but the idea was reinforced 10 fold. Hammered into his mind with every smack of your shoe. The soft glow of your chubby cheeks.

It’s fine. It’s annoying. but it’s like if Jabber came over, sure it would be mortifying, hell it is mortifying. But it’s fine.

The words do very little to soothe. They get diluted in the white noise that is his mind.

And, Frustratingly, you were blissfully unaware of his plight. Your eyes shone in the afternoon's increasingly dim light. Eyes darting from statue to statue. From garden bed to garden bed.

”Woah…I knew you were loaded but damn!” You gasped. At least his head was a little lighter than it was earlier when you were sulky and not…you.

Zanka’s cheeks warmed at the wonder you showed, Quickly he ducked his head and kept his eyes trained at his feet. He shifted on the balls of his feet. “It’s really not that amazing…are you always so easily impressed?”

Your eyes strained in disbelief. “How many other people do you know have garden beds and statues in their lawn?” 

“There are tons.” He retorted.

You guffaw. “Really…name one.”

Zanka opens his mouth for  a long second before shutting it. “Okay you know what. I’m wealthy, fine. But I'm not ‘loaded’. And still— a garden in the lawn is not a super rare mythical thing. You’re just being childish.”

further driving home his point, You twisted around and stuck your tongue out. “Ugh why are you so serious all the time? I swear if I stuck a lump of coal up your ass in two weeks I’d have a diamond.”

Zanka scoffed. “Don’t be crude…And ‘m not overly serious, ‘yer just really childish.” Swiping away at the eroded pebbles beneath him.

”Y’know every time you open your fat mouth I’m reminded why I don’t talk to you.” You pout. 

He rolled his eyes. ”Please, you don’t talk to me either way. I could be the nicest guy around and you still wouldn’t talk to me.”

”Oh that’s not true and you know it.” You grumbled. Hopping onto the last step, then the porch.

Zanka’s legs quivered as he caught up with you. Nearly crumpling like paper beneath his own anxieties. By the time he met you at the door he could hardly stand up right. He dug into his pocket, pulling out his keys and fumbling with the lock.

If he takes into account the normal amount of It should take to get home, and the ridiculous detour he took to the market, it just now should be turning to four. Leaving him with Five hours. Five hours out of his twenty-four hour day. He could do that. Just keep his eyes on the papers. Easy peasy.

Zanka slumped against the door, pushing it open wide enough for you to slip past. 

You gave a small thanks as you took your shoes off and placed them beside the other five shoes in front of the doorway. You turn to him, eyes lighting up the way they always do when a question genuine or not strikes.

“Hey zan-zan—“

“Please don't call me that.” He grunted. Zanka leaned down, letting the bags tumble off his arm and onto the floor.

Your lips smack disapprovingly. “God you’re so boring. Zanka, whose shoes do those belong to?”

He hums, glancing back towards where you stood. Glancing by  your feet. Kyoka and goka. Shit. 

“Kyoka, goka, and my parents.”

You perked up. “oh! are they home? I should introduce myself, wouldn't take long right?”

The door closed with a loud bang. Zanka pried off his shoes, lying them down directly next to yours. With all the calmness he could muster up he hides behind a pillar and peaks inside.

If Kyoka and Goka were here… that may be worse than if Jabber was here. the comments and questions would haunt him for months. They  had already made their (terrifyingly accurate) suspicions of him clear He knew seeing him beat red with you would do nothing for his case.

Much to his pleasure the kitchen where they’d usually be sipping a cup of earl grey was vacant. 

He let out a sigh of relief. He turns back to you. “Maybe later. They’re not home often, especially not my parents. I mean— owning a town and hell gaurd is busy work. It’s better  we get started now, anyway. We don’t need any more distractions.” He smiled. The forced nature of it was obvious but he couldn’t care to correct it.

you slowly nod. “right your parents must be busy, takes work being rich.” you snark half heartedly.

Zanka just made a small noise in response. He rounded back to the front door, picking up your bags back up.

“You have the books and everything right? You didn't leave anything, did you?”

You groaned. Sat down your bag and pried it open, tilting so he could see give or take 6 different books and text books. 

Zanka’s eyes widened for a moment before he schooled his expression back into place. “and those aren’t multiple copies of the same one, or dupes of mine right?”

“…don’t make me throw this shoe at you.”

Zanka couldn’t help but let himself take pleasure in your frustration. A hearty laugh escapes him. “i’m joking, jeez don’t get all tight on me princess.” He mocked through giggles.

“Now c’mon. I don’t got all day, slowpoke.” Zanka turned on his heel and began up the stairs and you quickly stumbled after him.

Zanka’s room was exactly what someone would expect from his personality. Minimalistic. Clean. Soft blues on his bed spread with cream pillows that looked like soft clouds, and deep greens in the small plants that rested on a shelf above his stationary desk. Thick healthy stems and long thin leaves.

 The first thing Zanka did when he opened his door was sit the bags down and rush over to them. murmured curses leave him in soft breaths. He  had been so preoccupied with work (you) he’d hadn’t had a chance to give them proper loving.

“You can make yourself comfortable anywhere just— don’t mess anything up.” He dismissively waved.  Picking up a small watering can sprinkling their slightly patched leaves.

You followed him, leaning over his shoulder in amazement. “Woah…I didn’t know you had a green thumb Zanka!” You pressed closer against his back.

The contact sends a spark up his spine. He shot forward at the contact, nearly bumping into the desk. 

“uh— yeah i guess i do.” Zanka rasped. “S not  Green enough though if i do say so myself.” He attempted to shrug off. Ignoring the way his pulse sped up in his ear.

His muscles tensed  harder onto the handle of the pale. “been so busy, nearly forgot about these little guys.”

“Ah well I couldn't tell. If anything they look pretty healthy to me.” You hummed, finally moving back and looking at anything other than him.

You sat down your bag next to his and observed the rest of his room.  Particularly taking note of his bed and the slew of plushies that accumulated on the side.

You pick up an absurdly large snorlax plush. You grip him by the face and give him a few squishes. 

“y’know you didn’t strike me as a plushie guy.” you teased.

He whips his head around. the loud clang of  him setting down the watering bucket echoes around the room. “wha— hey put that down!l! And I’m not okay. It was a gift from my aunt.”

“Your aunt just happened to buy you what? Over thirty plushies?” You say with the tilt of your head. Your disbelief was clear. 

Zanka rolled his eyes. “Ain’t you the one that said my family was rich? You don’t  believe a rich woman could buy well over thirty plushies?”

You plopped down onto his bed. Lying atop them like a queen on a throne.

“It’s not that I don’t believe that she could, I just think it would be a little odd to buy it for a sixteen year old if he was completely uninterested in it.” 

Zanka made a small annoyed sound. “Get off.”

”You said make myself comfortable though?”

“Do you think that it’s gonna be comfortable or efficient working on the bed? We need to see the board and avoid poked holes.

you grumble. slowly sliding down, taking snorlax with you. “Like I said— major stick up the ass.”

He joined you on the soft carpet “Mind you, I’m letting you into my room. You’re a guest.”

“Okay well first of all, you brung me here. I didn’t ask. I was perfectly content with doing it downstairs.”

God why do you always have something to say. Zanka shakes his head. “Too loud.”

”No ones here?”

”It will be, trust.” He twisted around. Digging into the plastic bags pulling out the tri-fold, the markers, construction paper, lace, popsicles sticks, and environmental magazines. (The lace and the magazines under your insistence of course.)

You pulled out the text books and your personal notebook, flipping through page after page until you found a blank one.

  “Oh by the way— do you mind if I play something? It would be awkward if we just sat in silence right?”  You giggled. God why was your giggle so soft?

He averted his eyes from your own. “Yeah sure, fine if that’s what you want. I pick though, okay?”

You grumbled but don’t object. Instead you simply ask— “What genre?”

”its like— i dunno music? look it doesn’t matter, I’ll just play it real low then it’ll go on auto.” Zanka grabbed his phone and started flicking through his saved albums.

Too poppy. Too emo. Too sad. Too boring.

He eventually landed on Heartbeat, Heartbreak and threw it on.

You pause for a moment. Zanka watched with palatable anticipation as you Let the soft beats and the woman’s voice settle in your ears before you made an executive decision. His answer came in the form of an airy hum emerging from your throat.

“Alright, alright, alright! I’m ready!” 

“Finally.” He shook his head,  pulling out his own notebook flipping through to the same page he did earlier when he waited on the steps for you.

From then the two of you worked harder than you ever had before. You’d ended up corroborating most of the information you had to little to no problem. Your claim ended up being pretty straightforward. Over the last 100 years the grounds atmosphere had become more dastardly due to the increase of trash thrown from the sphere, the sudden uprise making it harder for plants to biologically adapt to the rotten soil. Or more easily— The ground’s toxic environment does affect society by desecrating the crops.

Combined, you both had an endless amount of data. Percentages, graphs, statements from public health. Much to both of your surprises the work wasn’t what spawned the most vitriol, You two got through that with…Slightly less back and forth than usual. zanka was completely enthralled with his work. Completely submerged. Murmuring nonsensically as his thumb dragged across lines read thousands of times. 

 You sat a few feet ahead and off to the side. Carefully placing down  golden and yellow construction paper onto the tri-folds boarders, Mimicking the desert-like biome that spanned outside of kamutari’s walls.  

His murmurs  annoyed you to no end. He could see it in the way your ear twitched in 2 second intervals. He’d never felt so relieved. Your disgust was better than your joy in the long run. Maybe you’d be too bothered at the end of it all and you would never speak to him again, ridding him of his horrible curse. Zanka fought a grin.

He spent minutes like this. Reading line after line even as his eyes drooped lower and lower. The outside world was distant, nearly unreachable. Nearly. Your voice pierced through him in an obnoxious groan.

“You think real loud Y’know that?” You commented while gluing the final piece down where a block of text was sure to be.

Zanka’s eyes fought to look up at you but he wouldn’t allow it. He simply adjusted his glasses. “We’re missing something. We have to be…”

You shook your head. “I checked earlier. We have everything there is to know.”  Zanka heard you shift a few inches. In his peripheral, he could see your hand patting the newly found space next to you.  “Why don’t you help me, hm? ‘Oughta be better than reading the same tired lines.”

Damn it.  Don’t look up. don’t. look. up. Zanka kept his eyes trained on the page. “Just…give me a few minutes, okay. I feel it.”

You called his name. Firm and commanding. He gives up, meeting your unwavering glare. “Just give me five minutes…Please?”

He let out a low huff. Weak. That’s truly what he was. “Damn…bossy much aren’t you?” He snarked, wordlessly he scooted next to you. Closely scrutinizing everything done so far.  The placements  were far from sloppy. not a hint of glue peaking out from beneath  the appliques, each one placed perfectly.  Everything was written in cursive with a dark, inky navy blue.

You noticed his hesitance instantly. He could sense the warm smile that formed on your lips, meant to comfort but did the exact opposite. “Oh don't sulk!  it’s really simple, I hand you one and all you gotta do is place it where I sketched it out.”

 

And you were right. It shouldn’t have taken very long, thirty minutes max. But thirty somehow transformed into 50, and 50 into 90. you both stood over the tri-fold that you had slumped against the wall.  Zanka could feel your stare, watching every one of his shaky  placements while you did yours seamlessly without even looking.

”Put it more to the right.” You commanded. 

Zanka could feel a vein begin to bulge out of his temple. “You said that last time.”

“It’s still off.”

 He grumbled at your words. He followed your instructions. Peeling the magazine image and replacing it a bit further while His other hand reached for a napkin, wiping the glue off quickly. But you had something to say about that too.

”Don’t scrub too hard you’re gonna mess up the paint job.” You chastised before turning your head back to your side. He could feel another vein growing.

The whole hour and a half had been like this. Sure, he could just go back to thumbing through the pages but his pride kept his feet planted. At the same time he could feel himself go crazy every time you spoke ( even if it was confirmation he wasn’t too far gone.) He couldn’t help but make a comment.

”Why don’t you do it then since you got your degree and know everything…” Zanka murmured under his breath.

Your head twisted around so fast he almost heard it snap. “What was that?” 

This was it. He could get rid of this damned thing, you’d hate him, he’d hate you. So, Zanka repeated it louder. “Why don’t you do it yourself? I think it’s ironic im doing it for you, since you’re so perfect and you know everything. Maybe you really are  just an over zealous annoyance…”

Zanka waited for your usual outburst. The back and forth. But nothing happened. Just a heavy silence. He knew he shouldn’t have, he could’ve kept his eyes on the board and he would get over this. But his eyes drags up and meets yours once more; the regret is instant.

Your body had locked up. Never in all the months you had argued and fought have you ever looked so hurt at something he said, it definitely  wasn’t the worst thing he said so why…? Why did you look so hurt? Why did he feel so bad?

”You know what, I don’t get you Zanka. One moment you treat me like a friend, you invite me over and the next moment you act like you can’t stand me.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Huh? Where's this coming from?—“

The corner of your mouth turn into a frown. “How do you feel about me? Every time you make a comment do you actually think that about me or are you joking?”

Zanka’s mouth flopped open and shut uselessly. He wanted to say he was serious. That he hated every moment spent together and he only tolerated you  because he had to. But every time he tried he couldn’t. He couldn’t get it out. Over a thousand things swirled in his mind but not one could manage.

All he could manage is a measly “It’s not…it’s not…I didn’t mean it like that.”

”it’s not like that?” You guffawed. Almost mocking. “So what Did you mean then? Since you didn’t mean  to call me a prissy, over zealous, pain in the ass?” 

”I didn’t…I didn’t say all of that…” He stumbled slowly. god this was embarrassing. He wished a hole would open up beneath him, swallow him and everything else. He felt like a little kid again. Cornered and alone. He swallowed. 

“I mean you— I did think you were annoying at first…” Zanka could feel his whole body rolling to a fever. His hand twitched at his sides. Your eyes were locked onto his, they were like black holes the way they trapped him and sucked him in. 

You let the board drop with a thud. Slowly you got closer, the back of Zanka’s knees hit his bed frame as you get closer and closer. His mouth, mind and heart were all completely different matters. Different entities entirely.

”But—I think that of almost everyone! That doesn’t mean I hate you, I just— it’s complicated…” 

You tilted your head to the side. “What the hell does that mean?”

And then  his heart got to his mouth first.  “I like you okay!” The words come out way too loud. Too bold. As the words reached his ears all the color in his skin drained to a ghost white.  

Everything comes to a screeching halt. It shocked you enough to where the fire and heat  in your pupils are snuffed out to a small  flame.  As the words registered, a small hue shift grows beneath the skin. 

“Wha..?” You questioned breathlessly.

”I—I’ve grown to…like you around me okay?” No. No. No. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He never felt so weak. His whole life he’d been told not to lead with his heart but look at him now… 

“What are you talking about?” You asked.  looked in his eyes intensely, working over time for an explanation.

“I Your presence isn’t…horribly annoying like I thought it was and if we…oh god forbid…had another project I wouldn’t be upset that we have to hang out.”

Idiot. Fucking idiot.

You reminded him of this when you reached around and smacked him in the head. Zanka’s hands flew above him in a futile attempt to defend himself.

”Ow— shit I’m sorry! I said I was sorry!” Your hits just get more brutal and harrowing. Finally sending him onto his bed. 

“You’re such a dick did you know that? You did all of this because you couldn’t say you wanted to be friends?”

Zanka blinked. “Friends…?”

Your lips pursed as you thought over his words for a long moment. ”Isn’t that what you’re saying…you wanna be friends…?”

He couldn’t even reject the notion, he just gritted his teeth and let his head loll to the side for a minute. “That’s not…I’m not a charity case, I don't need friends.”

You lowered the pillow and with a sigh you plopped down on the bed next to him.  “You’re so emo Y’know that?”

Zanka’s  eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “What?”

”You’re always acting like everyone hates you  and you’re a lone wolf. You’re so obsessed with yourself you can’t even see when someone seriously likes you?”

He looks back towards you. Your eyes didn’t hold malice. No traps nor tricks. They were soft, vulnerable. Zanka softened as well but kept quiet. 

“You know…” You began. “I had a good time today. I really wouldn’t mind hanging out with you more… I really wanna be your friend….you don’t have to be mine if you really don’t want to, but I would like that.”

His lip part. His chest ached. He hated this. He hated you and the way you messed with his head.  He hated even more how he couldn’t say no to you. His throat bobbed, and slowly he nodded.

Your eyes lit up. “Huh? Seriously?” 

Zanka’s cheeks went all rosy. He looked away. “Tch…you don’t need me to repeat myself, do you?”

Suddenly you pulled him into a hug. Zanka found himself slowly melting into you with a soft sigh. He closed his eyes. Letting himself just be before opening again and looking at the discarded project.

”…you did really well on the project by the way…you really do have an eye for aesthetics.”

You looked up from the crook of Zanka's neck. “Hey, you helped a lot too. Thanks by the way, I know I was a little harsh.”

He sighed ”It’s fine, we’ll call it even.”

Three things had been solidified that night. 

One:He was an idiot. He had every opportunity to escape. To rid himself of this sickness  called ‘A crush’ and he didn’t.

two:  He was exactly where he  wanted to be (he honestly didn’t know if that scared him or not)

three: There really was a thin line between love and hate.

A/n: They ended up with an A+ with extra credit!!!

Also sorry for slow updates i have like three tests i need to study for plus finals😭 we’re gonna get back on track soon tho trustttt

Reblogs and requests are always welcome ˚₊•𓂅𓏲ʚ🥞ɞ𓂅𓏲•₊˚

[cinnamondollz]

. ⋆｡˚୨ just to waste my time with you୧˚｡⋆ (7.5k, not proof read)

Pt1–> pt2 —> pt3

Sadly for you all, the description of what awaited outside wasn’t wrong or misleading. As soon as you stepped outside you went from one pungent odor to another far more disgusting one.

One that smelled like a butterfly’s ugly cocoon ripe before metamorphosis and burning metal. It was the type that that only intensified under the suns rays.

Your nose scrunched up. the day couldn’t get worse you’d assumed but the sun always seemed to spit the optimism right back at you.

Outside there was the same picket fence painted the same white paint that faded over time. The same gate cocked wide open, this time with a broken lock which had rusted over time. And the same cobblestone steps you took to enter, this time descending down the hill.

You take one feathered step, remembering the potholes that hid in the former. However you weren’t met with a hole in the ground when you let your heel rest fully, instead the ground rumbled beneath you.

“Fuck—“

You stumble forward, the wind almost feeling heavenly beneath you as you teeter off the edge. You’d almost wish you’d finished but zanka had a horrible habit of pulling you back.

His palms were warmer than usual. Slick with sweat.

You flash him a grin. A snarky comment at the tip of your tongue but you’re reminded of the over-looming threat as you see Riyos glance at the two of you.

just as quickly as the smile you flashed him came, it disappeared.

“Thanks.” Your hand gently pulls from his and frustratingly, he doesn’t stop you. He simply nods. staying closer than before.

“The hell was that?” You choke out breathlessly. Whipping your head around to the others behind you.

“Must be the structure settling…” Gris muttered. “Everyone be careful, it’s unstable and we want everyone back in one piece! Hold onto one another if you have to.”He shouted.

You look towards Riyo who was no more than 5 steps above. She wordlessly grabs onto Enjin and Rudo before giving you a smirk and nod by the head towards Zanka.

Zanka offers his hand.

You tug on the inside of your cheek in consideration before shaking your head. “I’m a big girl, I’m good.”

Your legs quake as you walk down every shifting step. With every step that pungent odor only became stronger in concentration as something thick and purple came into view. Bouncing up and down like the sea.

“Fucking disgusting…” Enjin spat, hand shooting out to cover his nose.

“Think that the heat’ll cause for the thing to die by the time we get there?” Follo panted.

Zanka clicked his tongue. “Oh, but where’s the fun in that?”

“Well…won’t have to smell this shit for one.” Riyo adds.

“That part.” you huff.

Suddenly you pause as you look back towards the slope. At the bottom were two slug like piles of trash, slithering at the base coated in something that glistened in the light. Tanned rocks sticking to its rotten underbelly.

“Shit that’s awful…Where’s Tomme at Gris? She would love this thing.” For someone so disgusted Enjin sounded a little too elated.

“Pulled off on a mission for team eager.”

“Bummer.” Enjin sighed.

“Bummer indeed…” Gris looked around briefly out of curtesy before inevitably landing on Follo.

“Follo? It would mean a good deal to me if you could cover for Tomme today. Know it’s not the most fun but, you’re the only one I can really depend on here to do it as well as she could’ve.” Gris gives him a small sad smile, extending him a spare notebook.

Follos lips press together thinly. he stares at it for a moment before taking it. “You can count on me” he smiles

Gris pats his back. “Thank you kid. I knew I could! All you gotta do is write down whatever thing you notice about it and when we get back find Tomme and hand it over. Got it?”

Follo nods.

Enjin clasped his hands together “Now that that’s settled… everyone hold on.”

You all wordlessly crowd around and grip onto him, his coat, umbreaker, etc. Enjin backed up a little and flung himself off the stairs, floating down to the bottom of the hill. Though not by far attributed to the added weight and lack of winds.

As you touched the ground once again the rotten smell crashed back into your nostrils. You and just about everyone else gagged.

The things looked a kin to a slug or a beetle. They moved in tandem in a slow slither across the floor around each other. they were about as big as two double deckers stacked on top of one another and as wide as a house.

“Gotta be kidding me…”

“Well Enjin, got a solution for us?” You ask with the small tilt of your head. Unseething your sword.

Enjin simply hummed. “Nothing too out of the ordinary… Keep hitting till you find a weak spot. Rudo! You’re with Zanka and (reader). Riyo! Come with me and we’ll keep the other one busy!”

Of course…

“Woah? Ain’t he your student? Shouldn’t you be teaching him?” You object.

“Ah—Correction he’s supposed to be able to learn about his jinki from Zanka, so he’s teaching. Plus, it’ll give you all some bonding time, wont you agree.”

You would argue you were already bonded a little too well for your liking but you swallow it.

“But hey, here’s my first lesson to you all— duck!”

Your eyebrow quarks up in confusion. Before you know it, you’re shrouded in darkness. You look up, a tail looms above you like a tidal wave. You quickly snatch Rudo. Tugging him with you as your feet launch to the left. 

The tail cracks down onto the floor. Kicking dust around you transforming the valley into a thick wall featuring shades of brown.

The wind carries off your previous woes with it. Replacing it with a sense of urgency. 

Your eyes strain against the veil. Nothing. Not a shadow, not an outline. Nothing. 

You grip your sword tighter than ever. holding the sword close to your chest.

“Shit— stay close. Wait for an opening.

“Im not a little kid, you don’t have to tell me that.” Rudo mutters out but follows your command.

You fight back a less than polite retort. Focus on the issue at hand.

Wind whistled in your ear as rocks and other debris whipped around you.  You balance on the balls of your feet as your grip gets tighter and tighter.

Focus. you can go home soon, it’s not the worst you’ve dealt with. You soothe.

You look around. Zanka?

Nowhere to be found. A Pitt deepens in your stomach as the worst pops into your head.

No. No. Not possible.

Suddenly, a faint metal clang peaked through the wind. Distant, but too close.

The balls of your feet dig into the sand. “Get ready.”

Faster than you ever could anticipate the big metal lump rushed past you. Clanging like a war drum with every movement. 

…shit.

Rudo’s fists lowered as a dumbfounded look strikes across his face. “ they’re not usually this fast..right?” 

You almost didn’t hear him through the sound of your worst fears. “What….no no..this isn’t—“

Another rumble. You whip your head around. Why were you shaking? You never shake.

Focus. Focus.

The beast circles you . Nearly salivating. It’s stick like legs kicking up more and more dirt as it did so.

Too hot. Too loud.

You could feel the racing of your pulse in your ear. The rush of blood beneath the skin that burned.

Why didn’t you grab both? He could handle himself sure but what if—

The beast screeched at the noise.Before you could  make any attempt to move, it came Rushing over  towards you and Rudo. 

The jaw unhinged with a wet pop as it bared its fangs for feast.

You quickly turned on your heel. Friction creating sparks beneath as you twisted  the sword and place it between its rotting teeth. 

Your chest tighter as the ugly thing sputtered . Thick Saliva cultivating on the shaft of steel.  excess spraying onto your clothes and clung like mucus.

you gripped the handle. Jerking it to the side for retrieval. Rotted yellow teeth shattered into pieces as you do so.

The beast bucked over and over in anger. Retreating back into its previous path of circling around you. Nawing at nothing.

Your chest heaves rapidly. Your muscles twitch but you can’t convince your body to move.

However, the wind carries the familiar, low sound of your name that instantly melted you.

You turn your head. The dirt is still too thick to see, but you know it.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Jesus you scared me” You exclaim as he makes his way over.

“I’m sorry would you prefer me gone?”

You scoffed and slapped his arm.

“Just answer.”

“Other side…Too windy, can’t hear anything unless you’re up close.” He explained.

“Right…You got a plan?”

He smacks his gums. “Nope.”

“Of course…” The words come out bitterly. You look back towards the stampeding beast. Then, something catches your eye.

You whirl your head around and approach Rudo.

“Rudo! when you aim, aim for the stomach!”

“Huh? Why?” 

You point to it. With every movement, the metal stretched and pulled apart from one peace and another. Exposing the filth that lied beneath.

“Get the core, kill the beast. The core’s in the stomach.” Zanka explained flatly.

He continued. “Alright… you know the deal…batter up!”

Without much warning Zanka raised his fist and punched Rudo in the jaw, Just hard enough to make his body jerk backwards and for Zanka to get flung by R3.

“You Jerk— I swear you do that just as an excuse to hit on me!” Rudo yelped, rubbing his cheek that was already blooming into an angry red.

“If it works it works right?!” Zanka called out smugly. 

“Keep it down will you?!” you grit.

Your warning comes out futile. The beast rounds again towards you. You put both hands on the handle, pulling back before slashing it from its face to its side in a jagged line.

Zanka spun from above.  Assistaff cutting through the dusk, and landing onto its back. 

Zanka raises Assistaff above his head. with a heave, her body pierced through the skin of the beast. 

It Lurched  forward, deepening the cut.

You could see Zanka from above, twisting lady in his hand and with an odd elegance ripped her from the monsters body.

As he did so, a custard colored,  mucus-like substance shot out from the wound. The beast bucked and screeched like it did the previous time.

with one last  shrill cry of pain leaves the breast as it returns back to its cycle. 

This time its feet moved faster than before.

In the process you see the gleam of lady falling down along with your favorite blonde.

Your eyes widen. the ground rumbled so hard you were sure it would tear open beneath you.

Move. Move!

You commanded your body but it doesn’t move. Fear seizes it. Suffocating you.

You watched his body fall in the air, almost in slow motion. he looked almost heavenly the way he fell. Like an angel. An angel you couldn’t say how much you loved. You valued. All the feelings you couldn’t express because you were too scared.

You watched as Rudo lunged forward for him helplessly. You watched as his body hit the floor.

You watched, you watched, you watched. Like a complete idiot.

Rudo caught the top half of his body from fully crashing into the dirt but did it matter?

You wanted to hold him, pepper his face in kisses and whisper all the things you never had the time to.

A low hiss rings as the beast approaches.

It’s stupid but— in that moment you had half the mind to resign to the damned thing.

God to die for another. Is that really what it had come to? You’d die for him?

That thought maybe paralyzed you more. The fact you would die for him. no questions asked.

Then another thing hit you— how could you die for him but you couldn’t even tell everyone you love him?

You tilt your head back against the sun. It’s rays peaking through and blurring your vision.

Your body relaxed underneath it. All the tense muscles holding you up went limp, hell even your eyes started to blur.

You fell to the ground with a thud.

The monster looms over you. Let’s out an exhale as powerful as a puff of steam from a volcano.

It moves a few centimeters before collapsing beside you. Its continents spilling out of the gaping wound.

You raise the sword and with one final slash and a whimper, the core was destroyed.

You steal a few breaths from the world. With the minimal strength left you scooted closer and closer to him.

Please be okay please, you silently pray.

As you drag yourself across the ground you can feel your hands scrape against the dirt.

It didn’t take long to reach him. You hands over took his face. His eyes now in slits. Breathe laborerd. Breath.

You gasp. “Shit—“

You peer up at Rudo. “Wha— what did he hit?”

He didn’t do anything, he just stared. Eyes wide.

You didn’t know why but something about it set you off.

It wasn’t Rudo’s fault. You knew he had nothing to do with this but, as he just stares with those same eyes he’s had the whole day, you can’t help but feel something fester. 

“What did he hit?” Your voice raises

“I— I don’t—“

It wasn’t Rudo’s fault. You knew he had nothing to do with this, it was your own

pathetic insecurity infecting you but you can’t help yourself.

Your eyes narrowed. “Why are you just standing there?!”

Rudo’s eyes widened, but much like your own, he still didn’t move.

You scoff and a chuckle emerges from you. “Holy shit is that like— all you do? That’s why everyone’s been singing your praises? So you can stare at people like a damn creep!”

The words spill out before you know what you’re saying yourself.

For once, Rudos eyes weren’t bottomless pits of red stones. At the now formed bottom— or maybe it was there all along— there was an endless swelling and stir of emotions. So many it was impossible to count them all. But the one that arose first was frustration.

Rudo’s fingers turned to clenched fists. “Why am I standing here? Why am I standing here? Are you serious? What the hell are you doing then? Cause it doesn’t look like moving to me. And I’m not a creep!”

Gulit pierces through you. The only thing stopping softening and retracing from the pain was your own pride.

“You are! You’ve been running around stalking us all day and for the record— I can’t leave him, just…find enjin!” You snap.

Rudo opens his mouth but after a moment it snaps shut and he scurries off.

Your attention draws to Zanka once more. You raise your hand and with the last of your strength you lightly smack his face.

“C’mon…you can’t do this to me…you can’t.”

His eyes slowly cracked open. He cracked a crooked smiled. “Hey…”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. Your head falls to his chest.

His hand comes up to your back, Slowly gripping you. His gaze flickers to direction of Rudo’s heavy, clanking footsteps before pressing his lips to your forehead. Your gaze turned half lidded. Vision blurring for a moment before coming to a peaceful black.

***

The first thing you awoke to was the familiar smell of burnt cookies and cheery voices in the distance.

You look up into the orange light above, then around to see the uniquely decorated living room—the old woman’s house.

Your body launches you forward, almost flying to your feet if not weighed down by three or four colorful quilted blankets.

You glance down. Try to lift your hands to inspect them but your met with thick cotton pads and gauze. You move further, but when your fingers moved to bend, pain shoots through you.

You suck on your teeth as you slowly pull at the fabrics. Beneath the heafty it You could faintly see your Right thigh and both knees were also wrapped suffocatingly in gauze.

You wiggle your legs around, shifting around until you’re close enough to slide off the couch using its arm as a crutch.The freezing temperature of the wooden floors bites at your skin.

You stagger closer and closer to the noise at the end of the hall. Leaning onto the pillar, your eyes adjust to the light. In the distance you can see colorful blobs conjugating around each other.

You crane your head out, squinting your eyes together and Slowly the blobs transform into more defined, familiar shapes.

Your legs quake as you push forward. Palm pressed against the walls like a life line.

From there you can clearly see everyone except for Rudo, Zanka, eating and talking to the elderly woman.

Riyou was the first to notice you. When her eyes locked onto you, a thin smirk forming on her lips.

“Hey lover girl! Look, Rudo told her she’d be fine!—“

Her face dropped when she turned to see there was no Rudo.

“Why is he always running off..” She sighed. “Enjin! Have you seen Rudo?”

Enjin was sat a few feet away at the auburn desk everyone was at just a few hours ago. Along with Gris and the old woman. A stack of cards in Enjin’s hand, a jack, a queen, and a four.

You cold only briefly see the Gris’ cards, an ace, a seven and one other out of your line of sight. You couldn’t see the old woman’s had at all, but judging by the glint in her eye she had a pretty good hand. Enjin wasn’t gonna win.

Enjin perks up with a hum. “Huh— uh….thought I saw him go down the hall.”

“Huh..” she said with a tilt of her head.

“Wait wait— slow down, lover girl?” Your eyebrow quarked up in mild confusion.

Her signature smile returned, scanning the room briefly before leaning in.

“Rudo told me….About you and Zanka.”

Your blood ran cold. Exasperation melted from off you and was replaced with once again rage.

Little shit.

“…What?” Your voice is small, nearly breathless.

Riyo throws her hands up. “Hey! Don’t shoot the messenger!…I already knew, just needed someone to confirm it.”

You guffaw. “Are you serious…” You turn on your heel and begun to limp down the hall.

Riyo’s hand shoots out to grab you but ultimately retracts with a sigh. Letting you go down the nearly pitch black hall.

It didn’t take long to find the door in the midst of the others. It was the only one slightly ajar, with an orange light seeping into the dimly lit hallway.

You creep to the light, poking your head in. Your fists clenched so tight that veins popped against skin. The only thing on your mind being confrontation.

But your demeanor softened at the sight of in the corner of the room. Sat on a stool, hunched over a resting figure. His eyes focused on the slow rise and fall of the breath.

You lean against the pillar. The gulit previously felt stabs you again, this time with no deterrent.

You shift on the balls of your feet. All the vitriol previously felt had vanished at the sight. You’d never seen him look so small.

“You told.” You start. Your voice low enough to where you weren’t even sure it left your mouth. The only reassurance you get is the way Rudo jumped at the sound.

His gaze narrowed as his eyebrows knit together. “I did…are you gonna do something about it?”

Ouch.

You guffaw, gaze dropping to your feet as they awkwardly shift roll around on the balls of their feet. “No…no I’m not gonna do nothing.”

“Oh okay…because I can take you.” He says with the upmost certainty.

“What?”

“In a fight. I can absolutely fight you.”

You huff. Wordlessly sauntering over and sitting down on the small bed. Your thumb runs over your bruised and tender knuckles. You glance at Zanka’s sleeping form.

“…You did good earlier. I know it was hard to carry two fools.”

He still doesn’t speak. Instead, he looks away from you, folding his arms over one another.

You kiss your teeth, slowly nodding. What else could you say? What else could mend this?

“….I’m sorry.” The words come out half choked from the depths of your chest. The strongest words to leave you since you woke.

You see his ear twitch. He’s listening, But still no response. You continue.

“I wasn’t— I wasn’t myself…I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“Sorry for what?”

You slowly inhaled. “I’m sorry for snapping at you and calling you useless. You were in shocked and I should’ve been… courteous of that.”

He slowly nods. A long silence fell between you. A light flicker above you in tandem, as a thought visibly pops into his head.

“You know…” Rudo started in a mumbled. “Enjin told me that apologies don’t take away impact.”

Of course…

“Well that’s not…wrong.” You say reluctantly. trying your hardest to stop your eye from twitching.

He nods. Pulling his knees up to his chest before adding “and you also did permanent damage to my retinas too…kind of a harder sell.”

You bite your tongue. In a heavy sigh you mutter your breath. “You spend way too much time with enjin…”

You kiss your teeth. “Uh huh…well what do you need for me to make it up to you?”

Then slowly, you see maybe the most uncanny smile form on his face. He scoots his chair back and duck beneath the bed. You cough at all the dust being kicked up, bit from the dust you see him pull out a ridiculous amount of candy.

He dangles it in front of you. Shaking it. “I need more.”

You tilt your head to the side, head spinning at the absurdity. “You know that’s how people’s teeth fall out? Right?”

He scoffs. “No way. C’mon I need this! And you need this if you ever want me to forgive you and not tell anyone else.”

“You need a whole thing of candy to eat by yourself?” You repeat incredulously. Squinting your eyes like that was really gonna help you see his true intentions.

Rudo rolled his eyes. Swiveling back around in a huff. “I never said it was just for me.” He mumbled but it was just loud enough for you to catch your ear.

The words catch you by surprise. Rudo? And a girl? A small grin forms on your lips. “Oh? Then whose it’s for?”

Rudo stiffens, swiveling his head back around. “None of your business.”

You scoot closer, hand falling over his. “No no— c’mon you can’t just leave me like that tell me!”

“Hell no! Just a few hours ago you insulted me! Called me a creep and all because I looked at you a little too hard!” He spat.

“Speaking of which— why were you watching me huh?”

He paused mouth flapping up and down as he conjured up some response. “I don’t think you’re in the position to ask that…”

“…don’t tell me it’s for me it’s for a girl?” You gasp dramatically, hand slamming over your mouth. The words meaning much more than you intended judging by the wide eyed, beet red look on his face.

The hue spread across his body, from his cheeks all the way down to his hands. You swore there was gonna be smoke blowing out of his ears.

“So what if it was…totally irrelevant to your apology to me.” Rudo grumbled

You smacked your lips and let out a low whistle. “Let this be my way of…making it up to you.”

Rudo pursed his lips. You could almost see the gears in his head turn.

“…..you and zanka suck. Like really fucking suck but…you like each other. Like nobody else. Regto…he didn’t have any girls— that I know of. I thought that maybe…”

“That maybe…?” You coax gently. Though you could already see the direction it was going and the thought of it made gulit’s sharp blade dig deeper into your side.

“That maybe…maybe I could see how to treat a girl.” His face was the color of flowing blood at this point, his mop of silver covering his face as he tried his hardest not to look you in the eye.

“Rudo…” You smile. The pitt of your stomach only deeping at the pure innocence in his tone.

Your arms wrap around him and pull him into you. Rudo makes up a small yelp but he doesn’t pull away.

Your lips press into a thin line for a few seconds before pulling away and continuing.

“Wish you mentioned something earlier…could’ve saved us this whole…mess.”

He cracked a smile, the first genuine, none standoffish one since you walked through the door. Progress. “I couldn’t…and It’s actually more of your fault, you need to learn how to lock doors.”

“hey…thought i apologized for that already…” you sulk lightly.

He hummed, shaking his head back and forth playfully. “Did you…? Because I don’t remember hearing it.”

You cut your eyes at him. “I totally did…”

You lean back against the wall. “So, are you finally gonna tell me who the girl is?”

His eyes flicker around the room. Staring particularly long at the door and Zanka’s resting form. Rudo gets up, and shuts the door with the upmost seriousness suddenly overtaking him. He rounds back to zanka and starts poking and prodding at his face.

“Careful,he’s a light sleeper…Hell guard trained and all.” You warn.

Rudo stops and just stares for a second before finding his place back on the stool. He leans in.

“Amo…”

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “No way.”

“Shut up about ! I can’t let this get out…”

You couldn’t help yourself. A chuckle— much louder than Rudo probably preferred— ripped from your chest.

“Rudo…Rudo…you want a girl to like you? Be yourself. Get her something nice and be honest with her. Tell her you love her.”

Rudo slowly softened at your comfort. “And that’s it?”

“That’s all it takes” You affirm.

“Well why don’t I ever hear you two say I love you?” He questions with a small tilt of his head.

You let out a small amused scoff. “Well contrary to popular belief, It was a secret before you went and told everyone and their mama about it.”

“But—“ you continue “your relationship doesn’t have to look like mine and zanka’s. You don’t have to keep it away from everyone else, you can…love her as loudly and as you want to.”

Rudo slowly nods and his eyebrows knit together. He hangs onto every word that leaves your mouth, studying it. Then he comes up with another question.

“so…why do you and zanka not wanna tell anyone?”

your body goes slightly ridged at the question. your teeth pick at the skin of your lips as you ran through all the reasons but you eventually swallow out that

“thought it would be easier. Felt right at the time. Do what you feel is right for you and amo.” 

You could see another question arise from behind his eyes but he’s stopped at the sound of the  mattress creaking and the subtle shifts of zanka’s body.

you quickly move from on top of him and instead found your place kneeling at the bedside. 

You both watched as his eyes opened and the corner of his mouth twitch as he fought back a smile.

“…’y don’t gotta be so close y’know? acting like i died or something…” 

Zanka grumbled. with a small groan he lifted himself up right. 

you playfully tapped his arm. “would it kill you to say ‘oh my god thank you my beautiful girlfriend and my amazing teammate for being here for me’ ???”

“you know what— yeah it just might.”

you scoff. “you’re a pain… anywho, Rudo has something he would like to say to you—“

“no.”  Rudo interrupted oh so abruptly.

your neck craned out as confusion painted over your previous expression. “what do you mean no?”

“nope.” he turned on his heel and walked out of the room. then a few seconds later he popped his head back in.

“candy bag by sunday.” he reminded before disappearing once more with the echoed click of the door.

Damn…” You curse under your breath.

You turn back around and take Rudo’s place on the stool. You take his hand, pulling it to your face and idly trace circles around his reddened knuckles.

Zanka craned his neck to the side. eyebrows knitting together. “what was that about?”

“Just Rudo being a weird little freak of nature…tell ya about it later.” you wave away with your non occupied hand. 

your gaze falls back to his hand.

”Anything hurt?”  You hum, inspecting every scar and bruise on  his skin.

he shakes his head. “i mean— my side hurts a little but… nothing major.”

“Good…good.” You whispered. 

He’s gaze trails across the room. Staring at the strange abstract painting on the walls, the oddly shaped decoration, the peeling paint.

“We at the old woman’s house?” He croaks out.

You nod. “It’s too late to travel so we’re staying the night and leaving early tomorrow.

He hums softly.  “Well I certainly ain’t got no objections to that one…don’t think I could stand another two hours in the car…specially not with Rudos grumpy ass.”

You snicker. “Yeah…yeah I don’t think I could do that either.”

“The days just been way too much. Need to decompress.” You continue lowly.

Zanka’s hand silently wiggles out of your grasp and slithers to your wrist. From there he pulls your knuckles to his lips. Peppering healing kisses a cross the scars you both shared.

Whatever words were about to come next in your long line of complaints died the second his lips grazed skin. Leaving sparks in its wake.

“You’re so gentle…” you muttered. Your head hung as your body was finally able to surrender. Not from exhaustion like previously, but genuine serenity.

Zanka’s cheeks turned into a pretty pink. His head droops and almost hides behind your arm. “M really not…it’s just you who makes me like this... i don’t know what you do to me. I hate it.”

god your cheeks were starting to burn in tandem with your heart aching.

 the ease of not worrying about anyone else busting in the room for a while since everyone was occupied and was one you hadn’t know for a while. you couldn’t help but laugh.

“hey…what are ‘ya laughing at? Is my pain funny to you?” He snarled, though it lacked much conviction.

“Well—“ you start with a pop. “If it makes you feel any better…don’t exactly like what you do to me either.”

He peers back up at you, the soft icy blue pools devoid of their usual intensity. replaced with a vulnerability that only you were privy to.

“Is that right?” He hummed, tilting his head.

“Mhm.” You parrot. “makes me feel all sweet and such. makes me feel stupid. Do stupid things.”

he lets out a small chuckle, throwing his head back. “so what does that make us? two pairs of fools?”

“two pairs of fools with no freetime.” 

and before you knew it— you both just began to laugh. cackling like hyenas. why? who knows. something about it felt so great, so warm. 

your head dipped into his neck and his arm wrapped around you, pulling you closer.

you couldn’t even stop yourself. Every time you opened your mouth obnoxious giggles poured out.

you were sure that even the sphere’s celestial greatness couldn’t even rival the absolute high you were sent on.

the coolness of his body paired with the soothing scent of vanilla incense dispersed the flame that had been brewing all day. 

Even as zanka’s own giggles wore down, yours persisted. Was this what it meant to love? Is this what Rudo saw in you two? 

“C’mon…yer embarrassing y’know that?” 

yet  his grip on you remained tight. Pulling you fully onto the little bed with him. and that made you giggle even more.

“ridiculous..” he mumbled, not trying at all to stop you from pressing your face into his neck.

 “you know, earlier when you passed out i got so pissed at Rudo.” you finally get through your barrage of giggles.

“really? damn how’d i missed that…I would’ve killed to see that.” Zanka snickered

“sounds funnier than it was. It was weird. I like  actually got pissed.”

you let out a few breath giggles in the midst of your words.

“Didn’t even know why…I’m not even sure I know why even now. Think that’s the stupid part of liking you so much.”

You come up from his neck and take a long look at him. He’s here. Alive. yours. You could touch his face and feel the soft skin he worked hard to take care of. You could feel his pulse race when you got a little too close.

 But the vision of his body, limp. As sand kicked around and buried his body. It wouldn’t leave you.

a tight coils at the bottom of your stomach. The giggly high you experienced coming to its final call as a confession rests at the tip of your tongue. You take a slow inhale and an even slower exhale. 

“do you ever get that way about me?” You say, a small hint of intensity creeping into your voice.

his lips pressed together thinly at the sudden shift in tone. “Yeah…more than i’d like to admit actually.”

you slowly nod. Thoughts and memories spun in your head. memories of sneaking around, chaste kisses. Fleeting moments. The thought of him not being there with you made up a disgusting sickness.

“you kind of scared me earlier by the way…not that it really matters.”

Zanka’s face drops slightly. He presses another soothing kiss, this time to the back of your hand. “Told you I was fine, I’m not easy to break—“

“I know I know…and that’s what I mean by it’s stupid. It’s stupid because I know that you’ll be okay. because you’re always, 98% of the time, okay.”

your tongue flicks out and wets your bottom lip. “I dunno…I dunno why I'm saying this.”

you could feel zanka’s eyes  linger on your expression for a moment before swallowing. “You know…Me getting hurt doesn’t have anything to do with you. There’s no need to beat yourself up over it.”

“I know… but I worry.” You mumble, falling back against the surprisingly well stuffed pillows behind you

.

“Well you don’t need to—“ He begins. 

There’s more to the sentiment that follows but your ears block it out. something about the way he wrote himself off, the upchuck of anxiety that had came and gone throughout the day caused  words to rush out before you could even stop them. 

“I worry That one day something will happen. That you won’t bounce back for once and I regret not spending enough time with you. Or—not saying I love you and making it known to everyone I love you.”

Zanka’s mouth snaps shut. His eyes go wide. Before he could even let out a sound you keep going.

“And it’s stuff like that, that makes me feel really stupid because I know it’s not likely but I don’t know what I would do If you died.”

A heavy Silence over took the room. Air so thick you felt that you would choke if your lungs allowed you to consume any more of it.

The chatter outside the room that seeped In stopped. The rhythmic sound of hearts beating against its respective cages of bone over took it. Along with your own labored breath.

He looks around. Fingers drumming on his thigh as he draws a slow breath.

“…I wasn’t scared per say but…I was a little worried myself.” He confessed. His words so soft you could’ve almost missed it.

“I wanna see you more.” He continued. “I wanna be here for you. always.”

he exhales, his face glows a nice cherry red. The outside of his cheek goes hollow as he tugs on the inside. He fights back the words resting on the tip of his tongue. though it ends up in vein.

“ And when i was lying there. Sand coating my body all I could really think about was you. All the times I thought about holding you today alone and never did.”

his lips tucked inwards as he thought of his words carefully. He was always like that. finding the best way to curate his words. Switching them around wordless in his head.  You could see it now.

“…Zan?” you lean in.

“I thought I never would’ve regret it. But at that moment I was sure. I was sure I  regretted not spending more time with you.” he said in one shaky breath.

You look at him. Closer than you ever had before. God did you love what you see.

“You know what you said earlier? The uh—the joke?” He continued on

Your eyebrow knitted together. Trying  your absolute hardest to remember all the things said in the last twenty-four hours.  God why were there so many? 

“What thing?” You finally ask.

“About how thing would be a whole lot easier if we just gave up the whole “secret”thing” He reminded.

Oh… oh.

“what— no no. I like what we have!” You insist. 

Zanka cocks his head to the side. “Right.”

“I mean I wish we got to spend more time together. But this week— or i guess month…— isn’t like very other month. I can handle it.”

He hums at your words. His gaze flickers down to your  hands. The way they shook. 

For a moment he just rubs your knuckles in soft circular motions. Over and over as you rambled on and on. Were you trying to convince yourself or him? You weren’t sure and he sure as hell wasn’t either.

But eventually he interrupted your spiraling train of thought with one simple question.

“So…if I said today, right now that I wanted to drop the whole secret thing. tell everyone that we were together, would you say no?”

You tugged on the inside of your lip. “…I mean…no. Not exactly.”

He scoffed. “Not exactly?”

You let out a breathy chuckle. “I don’t—“

Zanka looked at you incredulously. “You don’t know? C’mon, Be honest. Is that so much to ask of you?” 

You sucked on your bottom lip before answering. Not a hint of doubt in your tone.

 “No…no I wouldn’t.” you finally admit.

he slowly nods. “I wouldn’t mind being open. I wouldn't mind it at all.”

Your heart ached at his words. Your eyes go wide. Your worries and anxiety melted at the simple words. But the words made such a world of difference in your heart. Your hands shook.Your thoughts ran a mile a minute. All you could really say was.

“Huh?”

Zanka’s hands reached up to your chin, pulling  your  gaze down to his face. Holding you there. Grounding you.

“I said— would you like for me to say out loud to people that you’re my girlfriend? That I love you And for me to kiss you in public and all that sappy stuff?”

Your body responds before your brain  does. You nod, over and over. 

“Yeah…yeah, yeah that sounds really nice.” You sputter.

He releases your chin. A small smile playing on his lips.

“I—I mean that doesn't matter though. Rudo already blabbed to everyone.”  The words slip from your lips before you could even stop them. 

You watched as Rudo’s eyebrows shot up. All the warmth draining from his face in an instant “….’scuse me?”

…shit.

you were knee deep in it now, what was the point of withholding anything?

“that’s uh…that’s what he was supposed to apologize about.”   you stumbled out with a little bit of an awkward grin.

“…yer fucking with me right?”

 His eyes turn to slits, analyzing every muscle in your face. Putting every neuron in his pretty little head to work. But not one muscle let way. Not one gave him the relief of a joke.

You slowly shake your head. “No, wish I was.” 

He throws off the covers that  had kept him comfortably swallowed in for the Past couple of hours. He shimmied  out the bed. A slew of curses flying out of his mouth as he grabbed a hold of lady, who had been resting comfortably at his bed post. And  With her help he moved surprisingly fast for someone with an  injured ankle. So fast you couldn’t help but snicker.

“you’re gonna hurt yourself!” you called out, jumping right out behind him. And following Zanka in his voyage of hobbling  all the way down the hall. 

you could hear him coming from a mile away from the way he stomped through the dark hallway. A hurricane that only got more and more pissed with every step.

“Rudo!” He shouted from the entrance of the kitchen. the noise ripped deep from his chest. “Where are you, you bastard!”

you turned the corner and met the eyes of everyone looking between yourself, Zanka and Rudo. Some being more shameless than others. (cough cough…Enjin, the old woman…cough cough.) while Riyo and Follo just watched from the corner of their eyes.

Rudo  was crouched by the lower cabinets. cheeks fuller than a chipmunks.

“wha?” you could make out through Rudo’s hums.

Zanka hopped over to Rudo. bending down and with a swiftness you only really see in battle he snatched rudo by his collar. Bringing him to his feet. nose to nose.

“What the hell is yer  problem? You couldn’t keep one promise? ‘ya just had to go and tell everyone, didn't you!”

Zanka shook him a little harder. Candies coated in slobber dribbled out of Rudo’s mouth as Zanka did. 

It was a gross sight but it did allow you to hear better. 

Rudo’s face contorted in confusion. “tell everyone what? I don’t know what the hell your talking about— and get off me psycho!”  

Rudo tried to push Zanka away but it only agitated him more. Zanka pulled Rudo even closer. Consequently knocking the two together like bowling pins. A bruise already forming on their foreheads.

“Me and (reader) dating! yer telling me that you never said a word about that? you filthy goddamn liar!” Zanka grunted out a little too loud.

The whole room went silent. Even those who were pretending not to listen couldn’t resist.  their full attention turned onto you and Zanka. You could hear a pin drop.

 

“I only told Riyo though…?” Rudo confessed. Slowly as the silence became louder and louder, the situation Zanka had put himself in occurred to him and soon everyone else in the room.

A devious, shit eating grin forms on Rudo’s face.  

Zanka’s grip on Rudo loosened. With one wiggle, Rudo was released, dropping to his feet with a small grunt.

Mortification paints Zanka’s face a deathly white. He completely freezes in place.

Finally a sound emerged from the anxious crowd. 

“HAH! SUCK IT ENJIN. PAY UP.”  Riyo yelled,  holding out her hand.

“I believe you owe me too young man.” The old woman grinned.  Chuckling lowly.

Enjin sat there at the table. Mouth agape while his hand clutched desperately at his chest.  His eyebrows were knitted together in pure offense.

“Zanka…how could you do this to me? I thought you trusted me?”  Enjin’s eyes slowly turned glossy. Shining like topaz under the lights above.

Zanka slowly turned. Voice shaking with indescribable dread. “Enjin please I didn’t— I was gonna tell you.”

Enjin’s hand ran over his face. “God..they grow up so fast..and he didn’t even want to tell me.” He sniffled.

Gris reaches around Enjin's back. Pulling him into a soothing hug. “C’mon…you knew deep down this was gonna happen. Gotta just be there for ‘em.”

Zanka shot a glare at Rudo. who was now across the room, licking his fingers with not a hint of guilt in his expression. But ultimately didn’t do a thing. He craned his neck back towards you and gave a small sigh.

“Y’know..at least we didn’t have to do the hard part ourselves right?”

“True..” you hum.

Approached him and Infront of everyone, pressed a small kiss to his temple. Allowing for the color to slowly return to his face.

“Love you.”  He whispered.

You smile. “Love you more.

tag list. ঌ ໒꒱ @youseembored @ayeshazadora @sugarapplepiee @phancutie @x3nafix

[cinnamondollz]

◟ `` ⸝⸝⠀˒ who has to know! ◞ ☆ (wc 11.1k , not proof read)

Pt 1—> pt2 —> pt3

The whole point of being a secret was to remove the pressure of prying eyes locked on you and zanka every time you did something together or any other trouble.

But what was the point of sneaking around when it was done so haphazardly? What was the point when Rudo had already walked in on you two and couldn’t keep his cool about it?

A few minutes had passed since Zanka begrudgingly left the warmth of you and trudged down the hall to meet enjin for whatever he needed. Leaving you with a little less than baffled beet faced Rudo. his gaze glued to the wooden floor, doing everything in his power to avoid your gaze. From analyzing every ridge and curve carved into the floor, to shifting heel from heel in an annoying rhythm. All out of sheer embarsement.

You shift yourself. Zanka’s mattress dips and squeaks beneath you, breaking the dense silence in the room. nearly enveloping you inside plush cotton in the process. You pull his covers over yourself from where they formerly pooled at your hips.

“You know…” You start, Rudo’s gaze snaps up with the quickness of a frightened feral cat in an alley at the sound. “You can look at me, it’s not like I’m naked or anything.” You continue with a lightness.

Rudo’s head slowly rises “sorry, sorry i just— “ Rudo stumbles awkwardly A corner of your mouth twitches in amusement. Once then twice before breaking out into a snicker. “Hey hey— no worries. If anything it was our fault, no harm no foul on either end. ‘Kay?”

Rudo’s eyes widen slightly before shaking his head and breaking out into something that should be a smile except it was a little too uncanny in the way that It was way too hard, and definitely forced. The sight almost makes you jerk away from him on instinct. Thankfully, due to Rudo’s lack of reaction you can tell he didn’t notice. (If he did you weren’t sure you could live with yourself.)

A few seconds of silence befell the two of you before Rudo asks quietly, almost muttering “So you and Zanka are…dating…?” Million dollar quesition.

You nod and Rudo lets out a soft ‘Huh’. His head tilting back against the wall as gears turned in his head. Processing the last 15ish minutes. as you watch him you see his face go from awe to furrowed brows and a grimace.

“So…I could’ve avoided all of that?…if someone just told me?” He asks with a trace of bitterness.

“well— first of all. No one was supposed to know. Not you, Riyo,definitely not enjin nor anyone else around here.”

“Why are you hiding it? would’ve saved me from being traumatized” He murmured, his arms folding over one another.

The words make you bristle and causes your stomach to tighten in on its self. Hiding. You weren’t hiding necessarily, you weren’t some big secret or anything like that. You just decided not to be forward about it for the meanwhile. That wasn’t the same thing as hiding you told yourself.

“We’re not— we’re not hiding it..” You sigh. Yet and still Rudo pressed forward.

“I can’t tell anyone and you haven’t told anyone yourself, what else do you call it?” He scoffed.

“Waiting.” You correct.

“And maybe you should learn how to knock, so you don’t get traumatized hm?” you add with a sing songy tone.

Rudo scoffs at that one, muttering something about how gross the two of you were before turning for the door.

Right before he makes his way you call out for him once more. His head turns, finally back to his old self. Attitude and all. You raise your hand, pressing your index to your thumb a few millimeters away from your lips and dragging two fingers over top as if you were zipping up something. Your wrist snaps, putting the invisible key at an angle and flicking your wrist to discard.

“Not a word” You warn. Rudo nods before leaving, slamming the door behind him.

That probably should’ve been the end of it. Rudo swearing himself to secrecy to both you and Zanka. With all of you moving on, the whole situation in a few days time being a faded memory. But nothing ever quite works that way does it? The next following days between you, Zanka and Rudo were tense to say the least.

Three days had passed. Every mission more exhausting than the last, leaving everyone hungier and restless. And you with far less time to sneak around.

You couldn’t even steal him into a supply closet for a few pecks anymore. Nor could you flirt as overtly. Every waking moment was spent in Enjin’s cramped little jeep where no one had nothing else to do but mind everyone else or sleep off the oppressive summers heat.

The kitchen bustled with the smell of pork and sausage and eggs frying on the stove, the rest of the team While the laughing and joking like hyenas. All except for Rudo, whose gaze which was as always trained on you two as you took your pickings of food.

“Eisha really did a good job on this.” You hum, face stuffed full.

“uh huh.” Zanka murmured, His eyes surveying through the crowd of cleaners as he swallowed a piece of his scrambled eggs.

“It’s full, it’s hearty, seasoned.” you continue on, every passing second your words harder to hear from the way you scarfed everything down.

Zanka blinked a few times before properly reregistering the sight. “Hey, chew with your mouth closed will ya?” he huffs. Frustration bleeding into his tone, though it’s clear it’s not directed at you.

You continue talking, picking up a myriad of foods and sauces and butter. Zanka nods, though you can tell he’s only half way listening from the way his gaze keeps lingering out into the sea of other cleaners.

“hey…you’re not listening to me at all are you?” You pout softly, craning your head to look in the same direction.

Eisha, Riyo, there goes Guita too, Tamsy, Bro and dear, Gris, Follo, and—

Rudo. Whose eyes pinned directly where you and Zanka stood. Crimson red eyes piercing through your skull, without shame.

The sight makes your stomach sink in on itself and twist in every way except for natural. You grimace and lean into Zanka.

“…What’s his problem?” you whisper yell, pulling him slightly closer to you. The corner of zanka’s mouth pulls into a frown.

“no clue…” Zanka freezes for a moments before trying to flinch at him as if rudo could even see him from this distance. To which you just stare at him from the corner of your eye.

“He can’t even see you.”

He snaps his head away with a soft scowl as you grow an obnoxious grin.

He continues on in line, collecting food. All while muttering something about how Rudo ‘got the message’. as he turns you can see a faint red hue where his ears should be under the messy clumps of blonde, only widening your grin and making your cheeks sting.

You eventually make your way to the rest of team, even with both of your plates half eaten. (Zanka’s from you picking off his plate when he was busy having a staring contest with Rudo.) You settle inbetween Riyo and Zanka; and zanka between yourself and Rudo.

Rudo’s gaze is averted to his pile of omelette and bread. Nibbling away like a raccoon in the night. Every now and again, you would see Zanka glancing at Rudo as if he was trying to catch him on something.

As breakfast moved along you had almost forgotten the feeling of Rudo’s eyes as you half listened to Riyou’s complaints.

“Why do we have to work?” Riyo whined, a mini fan in hand on max sending strands of licorice colored locks flying.

“I mean— it’s over a thousand degrees outside! hell i’m sure that even the hell gaurd gets a break.” She slumped in her seat as she took a bite of her garlic bread.

Enjin grimaced at the mention of work. He takes a drag of his cigarette. watching the red embers glow and smoke rise and fall out the window he was leaned against.

“problem is there’s too many jobs. We need all the hands we can get to clear ‘em all. So rain or shine, heatwave or drought, we gotta work.” The words roll off his tongue half heartedly. Words meant to motivate lacked and real conviction, nor made any sense coming from enjin of all people.

Riyo rolls her eyes at that, leaning back with a smirk. “Like you do work in the first place.“

Suddenly she turns to you and Zanka. “You agree too right? We deserve a break!”

You let out a soft hum and you nod rapidly. Your mind drags back to three days ago. The memory of his breath tickling your neck as he pressed deep kisses into your skin was still fresh. You feel your cheeks warm at the thought of getting the chance to finish that.

“Ain’t this against child labor laws?” you added “you gotta give us something!”

Enjin’s head reeled back. “Hey hey! don’t try this around on me! ya acting like i have a choice!”

“you had a choice all the other times.” Zanka chimed.

“Okay well— semiu’s gonna do me in if i don’t pitch in so we have to. Speaking of which— we have a job down town to do.”

Enjin’s words was followed by a loud, bellowing chorus of groans.

“look— I don’t wanna either but that’s just how the cookie crumbles, Kay? We’ll be out in 30 minutes”

You lean back in your seat with a small huff. “Unbelievable—“ As the words leave your mouth and you turn to Zanka you see both him and Rudo staring at each other. Complete silence between the two and not a single muscle being moved other than the twitch of Zanka’s split brows.

“Zanka…” You coo. No response. So, you try again a little louder before tugging on him.

“Zanka.” He hums

“Let’s go?”

“Sorry.” He gets up, pulling his sleeves back down to where they warmed him up the most and leaves with you. Just as you two are at the corridor, he looks back and gives Rudo one final look.

“There is no way you’re beefing with a literal fourteen year old…” You sigh, tugging him forward down the hall.

***

Zanka’s room was always remarkably neat. His bed folded perfectly, all corners folded and pillows stacked the way it would be in the clinic a few halls down. Freshly swept floors because the dust always made his nose twitch. The cleaner making his room smell faintly of Lennon, fresh laundry and a distinct flavor of inscence that was unmistakably him.

It was really no wonder you spent most of your time in there.

You sat perched atop zanka’s desk, legs swingy idly to the sharp screeches of lady as he sharpened her. Many of your days before the sudden hoard of jobs were spent like this. The quiet intimacy of his room made you feel softer. Closer.

today wasn’t one of those days. You couldn’t bring yourself to relax, or to simply be. Discontent and unrest was set in your soul and zanka— whose silence was plagued with something you couldn’t put a finger on—wasn’t any help.

A low groan rips through the silence “Kay…what’s up?”

“Hah?”

With a huff you hop off his desk with a rattle. leaving pens and highlighters scurrying down polished wood in distress to plop down beside him with a soft bounce.

“You know what I mean.” You press

Zanka physically tenses up at the proximity. “Nope. No clue” He says, clutching lady closer to his chest like a saving grace. Though it does nothing to stop you from getting closer.

“Why are you acting so weird about Rudo?”

His gaze quickly darts around the room as his lips press together tighter. “ ‘m not” he insists in vein.

You roll your eyes. “Oh okay— so can pigs fly too right?”

He bares his teeth at you in a soft scowl, devoid of any real disdain towards you. “‘Ya calling me a liar?

“I mean—….If the shoe fits…” You press closer, the two of you nearly chest to chest.

“You little—“ The words are cut off with a sudden gasp for air as you fling yourself on top of him. Overcome by your weight pressed against him so hard the only thing he could manage were small chocked noises and gasps.

“Get off me…” he forces out, shuffling beneath you ever so uselessly.

“Or what?” You snicker, not even considering letting him up. you watch as his mouth twitches, thoughts racing through head. Searching hard for his next excuse or empty threat.

Sadly all he could show for his efforts was a small grunt.

“C’mon just tell me! I swear, right hand to the sphere that I won’t tease ya ‘bout it” You say, words laced with a little too much excitement.

As his lips part to respond they are just as quickly seized by your own. The sudden warmth striking him with the swift boldness of thunder and leaving him just as quickly. Leaving his lips just as twitchy as his palms.

“…you don’t ever play fair now do you?” Zanka grumbles, his body finally relenting and settling into yours.

“You tell me and I swear I’ll give you a kiss.” You sing in a low hum. His lips part once more but quickly snaps back shut. You watch as his eyes roam across the hills and valleys of your face with a quiet intensity before sighing.

His head lolls back against the bed, sucking on his bottom lip before muttering, so low it’s barely auditable. “He’s watching me”

“…Huh?” You blink.

“Rudo.”

A moment passed. A moment was all you could hold yourself to before bursting out into laughter.

“I knew it—“ He snapped.

“Hey hey hey— I’m not judging, just a little caught off guard.”You giggled out. Your upper body rose off of his torso as you tried to settle down. Zanka takes the opportunity to shove you softly down beside him.

“i shoulda’ known better than to say anything..” he sighed, looking away from your convulsing figure in shame of his own idiocy to trust you with anything serious.

You ran a hand across your face muffling your own obscenities. “No no no— just gimme a minute won’t ‘cha?”

“It’s really not that funny…”

“No—you’re right it’s not…”

“Then what are you still giggling for? …. Bet lady wouldn’t treat me like this…”

You seriously had half the mind to tease the living hell out of him but restrain yourself. You take a breath, giggles and hick ups still bubbling and raising from the depths of your chest; in tandem with your rise off his bed.

Zanka stares at you, lips poked out in a quiet sulk as you rhythmically pace around the room. Once, then twice. Three, then four. Then with one deep exhale you found yourself back beside him.

“So you think Rudo is..”

Zanka’s eyes flicker away for a moment and then confesses—because he’s an absolute imbecile for you— that

“I think he’s watching us.”

“….care to explain that one a little further?”

His canines tug on the bottom of his lip before answering. “Don’t really know how…it’s pretty straight forward isn’t it? He keeps looking at the both of us all weird.”

You crane your neck to the side in careful consideration of the past 48 hours. You weren’t a complete air head. You had noticed Rudo’s eyes lingering on the two of you longer than what was comfortable. But was he really…?

Your head falls back down to earth to meet the gaze of your boyfriend who seemed to be glued upon you.

“Why would he do that though…i mean— we didn’t traumatize him that bad did we? Sure he’s seen and heard much cruder than enjin”

Despite Zanka and his own commitment to sulk he couldn’t help a small smile breaking through. “C’mon… Enjin has at least a little more common sense than that.”

You snicker incredulously. “You’re not trying to insinuate enjin out of all people has more sense than me and you?”

He gives you a little look before continuing. “Look— i dunno why he’s looking but it’s pissing me off.”

Your lips purse for a minute. Your gaze flickers up to little fan in the center of the room above. Shaking with a little too much vigor for your liking. You don’t think that maybe that… we’re just on edge because of the whole getting caught thing?”

His lips press into a thin line in consideration. “yeah…” he eventually relinquishes, setting lady to the side and falling back onto his mattress with a soft bounce. You’re quick to join him.

“we’re getting sloppy…”he whispered.

“might be easier to confess at this point” the words slip from your tounge before you can catch yourself.

a silence befell the both of you.

You feel your gut sink to your ass.

You can feel him scrutinize you. Every muscle in your face, watching as your expression contort and twitch as you attempt to stomach down buzzing nerves.

It wasn’t something you hadn’t thought of before. Especially as of recent. I mean sure— There was a thrill you could only get from sneaking about into cramped closets, stealing kisses and touches that pricked your skin like sparks of fire. Sadly, thrill didn’t quite knock the effort and stress it took to get there. But you never said it out loud.

Zanka didn’t say anything for what felt like forever. You can feel him scrutinize you. Every muscle in your face, watching as your expression contort and twitch as you attempt to stomach down buzzing nerves.

“Feels like that yeah…” he admits quietly, shifting ever so slightly closer to you.

God— you almost lurch at his words as they do nothing but cause your nerves to get even more violent in their buzzing. Knocking and shoving each other Into the thin lining of your gut. You almost feel sick at all the thoughts stirring up.

*Would he want to go public? Walk down the street hand in hand? I like totally know it goes against our whole agreement of ‘secrecy’ but I would really like that.* sticks out particular.

but you’re sure not to let that slip. Instead you continue with a softer, much less intense, “maybe it’s a sign” 

but even then you still regret the words. It was times like these you thought it was better to slice your tounge out.

You see his shoulders tense up slightly. shit, wrong thing to say…

“only time will tell…” he murmured, shifting in place. 

You can feel the air change around you. It was the type of pressure that makes you feel like you were being close in on.

“you know i wouldn’t—“ He started

“I mean— now wouldn’t be a good time would it? considering that we’re all busy.” you quick stammer out before he could finish. You couldn’t see him, your eyes were glued to your feet as they loomed off the bed. 

the rhythmic stutter of his foot suddenly stops. His heel grinds into the floor as he shifts away.

Zanka’s mouth opens to respond but you’re quicker. “Anywho— we can’t fight thinking about Rudo’s odd little habits, whatever it is i’m sure it’ll pass.” 

Zanka peers up at you for a moment before smiling. — god you hope that meant he’s disregarding that whole conversation— 

“you’re right…” he hums. shoulders slumping ever so slightly but not completely.

“Aren’t I always?” you cheese.

“50/50”

“60/40” you argue.

“if you say so…”

“you’re insufferable” you poke. he turns to face you and remedies this with a soft kiss on the cheek that makes your stomach flip.

“you’re one to talk…”

You search around the room briefly for a clock, eventually landing on the one on his desk. only 10 minutes till departure.

You slither over to him, shoulder to shoulder as you place small pecks behind his ear. 

“we just gotta lay low alright? It’ll pass just like this heat will” You exhale.

Zanka slowly nods, leaning into your touch. “lay low…” he repeats lowly. Tasting the words.

“but you’re kissing me?” he snickers

 you can see the intensity slipping from his body. gradually succumbing under the trail of heat your lips left on icy skin.

“we still have…7 minutes left now..plus enjind always late so if you round up that’s maybe 14 minutes?” You punctuate with another kiss. 

He chuckles, full and bright. And just warm enough to make your stomach stirr up again. 

“You’re not even in uniform.” He points out after flicking over you.

“That’s enough time to kiss you and get dressed and you know it.”

“oh but i know you and i know you’re gonna get all wrapped up in it and then i blink and Riyo is pounding on the door.”

You open your mouth for a retort but it quickly snaps shut.

“plus, he continued. I don’t know if kissing me in my room exactly qualifies as ‘laying low.”

“Smartass.”You huff.

He presses another kiss, this time to your temple. “Also, someone has to hold you to your word.”

“Okay well…my word is that we’ll lay low after I leave.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”You press into the crook of his neck.

It wasn’t a surprise to neither of you when 20 something minutes later you’re scrambling back to your room struggling to put your uniform on.

***

You limp down the hallway. Curse after curse leaving you as you slam your heel down on the floor to push your foot in. Every step a painful reminder to stop by August’s room for a new pair. But, you can’t help but feel that it’s at least slightly warranted considering your very brief conversation. Seriously what the hell was your deal back there?

You had agreed to keep everything a secret. It was for the better. Plus it was fun, sneaking around and all. So Why would it even pop up?

‘Lay low’. The phrase repeats in your head over and over like a mantra. You run your hands over your face. the heels of your palms dig into your eyelids and wipe away the crust. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid. Lay low. Leave it up to you to self sabotage.

The fluorescents that illuminated above you like the heavens did nothing to ease your frustration either.

It was fine. You’re fine. It would pass like the summer heat, the absolute bullshit you just called an agreement would subside. It’ll become fun again. So why was your heart still heavy at the idea of it?

It doesn’t matter. It’s— 

The light flickers above you. you freeze momentarily. 

HQ was old, perhaps older than Corvus and Gris combined. A light flickering was nothing out of the ordinary you reminded yourself. You take a few more steps down the hall. Then another light. this time behind you.

Your head whips around as unease filters in. Your hand wraps around your vital instrument. you swear you can feel your veins bulge and pop against your skin. Your eyes crinkle up into folds as you strain against the light down the hall. 

At the end of the hall, you see a stout tuff of salt and pepper hair sticking out from around the corner. A Ruby eye gleams from beneath in the pale light. 

“….Rudo…?” You call out. Echoes caring the message farther than it would have otherwise. Despite this there’s no movement.

“Rudo!..” You try again. No response. You inch closer.

unsheathing (Insert here later). You snag a few breaths from the world and with an exhale your mind steadies. slow and steady.

“Vital instrument:—“  

A sudden gust of wind blast through you, The words dying in your throat upon impact and Sending you stumbling into the wall. 

your eyes dart around the empty hall. Straining your eyes even further to no avail. No  trace of the figure around anywhere, no hairs, no footsteps, nothing.

“What the hell…” Your mind could hardly comprehend it. There were too many variables, too many things plaguing your mind. 

 That wasn’t rudo…was it?  I mean what other white haired cleaner was there?

 Fuck what if you traumatized him so bad he went crazy?

 You wilt at the thought. I mean it’s silly but anything’s possible right? He did seem pretty disturbed when he discovered you two…Not that you blame him but there’s no way that alone drove him crazy.. Maybe It was rat?

Against your better judgement, You crept towards the corner the figure had originally left. Scrutinizing the area over and over for any trace. However all you see is gray dust near the floor in clumps, wood and—

Candy?

You kneel down and take the brightly colored foil between your fingers and unravel it. Completely empty. You bring it up to your nose and the faint smell of strawberry hits you. You lift your gaze and look a head just to find a huge pile.

*What are you doing? This is how people die in horror movies..* Your left brain chastises. But your body is already creeping forward.

A tiny hill had been formed that contained maybe a hundred half eaten candies and empty wrappers. The sight makes you cringe. For maybe half a second you consider digging through it but quickly decide against it.

*What the fuck.*

It was right about now you wished you bit your tongue when talking to Zanka. It was too much. *Too* much. Too much to think about, too much to even begin to wrap your head around.

Before you can even get knee deep in the pool of thoughts swirling around in your head, the sound of Riyo’s voice calling your name guides you back out.

“c’mon(reader)! Enjin’s getting all pissy!”

You bite the inside of your cheek before rising to your feet and sprinting off towards Riyou. It wasn’t a big deal, It was probably just a coincidence. Or maybe a trick of the eyes.  you reason. But even as you step into the pale morning light, where the rest of the team greeted you, you can’t help but ask—

“hey have any of you seen Rudo?”

Gris was the first to perk up, “Yeah he is… he trails off, gaze flickering around the small group for the stout kid. “Swear he was just here…” He grumbled

Follo came second, swiveling his head back and forth.

“There!” You look over your shoulder to see Rudo jogging up with a pack of sweets he close to his chest. As he gets closer the image of bag begins to look more and more like those little wrappers you found a few short minutes ago.

“Good, thought we lost ya there kid!” Gris grinned, reaching over to pat him on the back.

“So we’re set then?” Enjin hollered from the front seat. Gris’ took a double take, muttering numbers under his breath.

“Yep, time to get this show on the road!” He concluded with the booming sound of his hands clasping together. As Gris rounded the front the rest of you barreled into the back.

Halfway you find your steps slowing. Your gaze pulled back to Zanka’s neck like magnets. searching for any trace of the kisses you had marked his jaw and neck with. When you have nothing to show for it, you feel a sharp, very unwelcome pang in your chest. Your tongue swipes over your bottom lip as you remember your words.

Lay low. It’s not personal or anything like that. You remind yourself. But your eyes stay glued on that exact spot. Your heart swells at the memory of his pulse between your teeth. Almost completely stopping in your tracks as the feeling sinks in.

Was it bad you wanted to do more? Was it bad you wanted to see yourself on him? For him to walk around with pretty pink lipgloss shining in the fluorescents across his face? I mean even if you were public it wouldn’t change anything. He wasn’t that type of person. But still…

in the midst of your thoughts your body suddenly goes ridged. It was a feeling a kin to a spider making its way across your spine. Out of the corner of your eye you see a pair of big red bug eyes lazered focused between you and the dual toned blonde and brunette.

After a few seconds he notices and instead of looking away— which is what most normal people would do— he holds your gaze. That feeling of spiders crawling up your spine only multiplies.

Zanka glanced back over his shoulder. “Hey reader what’s the hold—“ His words trail off as his line of sight descended.

Not a word spoken between you three.

It was at that moment when it hit you that following the terms of ‘lay low’ were gonna be a hell of a lot harder than you initially thought. Further proven by takeoff.

***

The jeep bounced and shook violently down hot asphalt roads.The little AC in enjin’s jeep working overtime to support the needs of everyone in the car. 

Enjin and gris were in the front, talking about something entirely incoherent and irrelevant to you. Riyou slumped against dingy cream car seats. Her head lolled back as she absorbed music that you could only faintly hear under the chorus of loud, bellowing laughter— how enjin and Gris still had energy despite the grueling days was a mystery to you. 

Maybe the high spirts were due to the job assigned that was supposedly simple.

Your brain was too rattled to hear everything properly but what you did hear was that essentially, a relatively small trash beast had been spotted nearby a village a little outside of the east ward that needed to be stopped before it became more of a pain.

Relatively simple if you had a clear Mind, which you didn’t. Every time enjin made a sharp turn and jerked you around a new topic would plague your mind. Zanka, Rudo, Zanka, Rudo, Zanka, Rudo, Zanka. Back and forth, back and forth.

Every prolonged second made you more and more restless. you only had sat here for 20 minutes and if you weren’t having doubts about your own bet, you certainly were now.

You surveyed the lot once more as your hand carefully made its way over to Zanka’s, overtaking his. 

Zanka tenses up at the sudden warmth in his palm— he was constantly cold. Maybe the coldest person you’ve ever met. You were described as the warmest person  you’d ever met. The contrast between your blood always managed to make you both feel like sparks were being left on the other’s skin. 

It was also the only time you could get his composure to break for more than 5 seconds.

Your thumb runs over his palm with the nimbleness and ease of snow pricking and skin. Electricity runs through your blood at the touch. god you were certain there was no other heaven around. Not one comparable anyway. A part of you wonders—Would it be selfish of you to want this all the time? Even at the most mundane moments?

His eyes draw back yours like magnets. “Thought we were keeping it lowkey? y’know to avoid what happened last time?” he said in a strangled little whisper

“yeah but no one’s paying any attention. Enjin’s blabbing, Riyou doesn’t care and—“

“What about stalker guy?” He points to Rudo, who was scarfing down a plethora of candies down his throat.

“Hey don’t point that’s rude!” You hufff and roll your eyes. “Besides, it’s just a coincidence— it’s harmless.”

Zanka makes a low rumbling noise in his chest. “Coincidence.”

He lets out a sigh “Don’t come crying when we get caught”. He mumbles half heartedly. his muscles soften against your touch.

your head sways to the side to lay on his shoulder. “Y’know I won’t.”

At his discretion he doesn’t say anything more. Instead he lets you draw little shapes into his hand wordlessly. As minutes pass you feel his hands warm in yours. You’d almost forgotten how it felt to feel this close to him. This intimate. Any intimacy was fleeting and full of adrenaline. There was never a moment to slow, at least not now a days.

But now, you held that opportunity in your palms. It was like he and you were the only ones who truly mattered. You can feel his pulse pumping, he’s alive. He’s here with you. And he feels wonderful against you. You were certain of it. This was eternal bliss. You’re sure you could live the rest of your life like this, hell— you were sure you could die like this.

Zanka’s gaze is locked onto your finger. Watching it do its gentle ministrations against his skin.

“Hey.” Zanka began slowly and low.

“about what you said earlier…the whole coming forth thing—“

Your finger pauses, but you don’t dare to make eye contact. You just watch his palm. Your mouth moves faster than your own thoughts “don’t worry about that, I didn’t really mean anything by it Y’know?”

He doesn’t say anything for a while. You could imagine the way he attempted to dissect your expression, lips pressed into a thin line as he thought up what to say next.

“Right…well, I was thinking about it and…maybe it’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

You can feel your hands become soggy and sweat condensate at the back of your neck as soon as the words hit your ears. You shouldn’t feel as much pressure as you do. I mean— it really wasn’t a big deal, you’ve thought about it, it was always going to happen. Hell a part of you even wanted it. So why did your hands sweat and why did your ears get so hot?

“What do ya mean?” You try your hardest to keep your voice steady.

“I mean if Rudo of all people found out then…”

“I mean maybe but—“ the words come out half choked, Partially due to your own body failing you in ways it never had before and partially by enjins driving. One sharp turn sends you flying into Zanka.

“Damn it!” He shrieks, quickly grabbing a hold of you and pulling you close enough to his chest to where you can feel the soft thumping in his chest. And you were sure he could hear yours too.

“Enjin!” You could hear Gris shout from the front.

“Shit— It just appeared there, not my fault!” Enjin defended.

While the jeep might have settled your heart certainly didn’t. The day was already too much, you could feel your brain increasingly pounding harder against your skull. You slowly lifted your gaze to meet zanka’s. But, his were glued away from you as the redness of his ears spread and infected the rest of his face.

His grip around your waist was tighter than it had been in the past. The world slowed down as his fingers flexed around the slope. His fingers, that you were sure were made of ice at this point, brought you ever loving peace.

You found yourself wanting to lean in, melt the coldness of him with the heat of your body. And you wanted to do it all the time, with no questions asked, everywhere.

That’s stupid. The more logical side of you chastises. You have to remain at least professional. Plus there’s no way you wouldn’t be spied on just for shits and giggles.

The thought is backed up by the feeling of eyes on you. So, despite how badly you wanted to, havin him wrapped around you or vice versa was virtually impossible.

Against all your body wants or needs, You slowly slip from his grasp. Coaxing him off you with a little too much tenderness for somebody who told everyone who asked that you ‘didn’t see him that way’.

As you return back to your seat you’re already going through the exhausting motions of looking around, making sure nobody was looking at you two funny, etc, etc.

Everyone was mostly to themselves, everyone besides rudo. Who’s ever watchful eye on the two of you. His brows gently furrowed as he scrutinized the sight. 

Your stomach churns. You crane your head slightly, fully looking back at him to see him not even blink. Your lips press together thinly, holding back your own irritation and looking away.

How could he be so blatant? But then again how could you? As soon as you ask yourself that You keep your fingers tucked tightly into your palms and your hands as a unit super glued to your thighs. If you weren’t gonna keep yourself in check that stare certainly would.

The rest of the second hour dragged on. Your mind bounced around aimlessly. the only thing keeping you semi occupied was the rhythmic tapping of your fingers against an old plastic cup.

The heavy silence in the car kept your mind active. Periodically switching between the cup and Rudo, who had finished his snacks a while ago. You could feel him do the same.

Rudo. Cup. Rudo. Cup. Over and over and over again.

He had to be doing this on purpose. There was no way.

You increase the frequency. He had to watching, you could feel it. Your jaw ticks as frustration builds.

Cup, Rudo, cup, Rudo, cup, Rudo.

You snap your head towards him so fast you hear a bone pop. Just to see Rudo not even looking. He had been looking at his gloves. He peeres up at you in confusion.

“…You okay?”he slowly questions.

Your eyebrow twitches but you don’t say a word, just slowly sinking into the seat with a low grumble.

However as soon as Rudo’s gaze falls back to his lap you lean into Zanka once more

“You were right.” You whisper

Zanka barely reacts at first before doing a double take. “Hah?”

“You were right about Rudo.”

He cracks a smile, almost triumphant at the thought of having your stubborn hide admit fault. “Yeah? How’d you figure that one out?”

You scoff. “Oh don’t do that…”

You look back behind you. Rudo’s stare isn’t as obvious now but its domineering nature still remained, just to a lesser degree. You wilt slightly into your seat.

“I think he’s been stalking me...On the way here I saw him just staring and then— he

woosh. rushed right past me”

He slowly nods. “Huh…”

Then he busted out into a full grin. “Hey maybe It’ll help you with the whole ‘laying low’ thing” he snickered

You smack his arm. “Hey last time I checked you were the main one freaked out. C’mon help me out!”

Zanka scoffed. “I was not— ugh…. i mean…it was like you said earlier. It’ll pass.” He continued, a little softer.

“Oh so you do listen to me?” You snicker. He shoves you lightly.

“Shut up…Y’know I always do.”

“Awhhh….” You coo. “So you really do listen— shit!”

You’re jerked forward, the seat belt knocking the wind out of your lungs as it constricts. It forces you back and you slam into it hard enough to where there’s a you shaped print in the cushion.

“We’re here!” Enjin’s voice boomed.

Your head whip your head up and your eyebrows furrowed as you see the village in the distance.

“Wha— wait there’s still a couple of good mile or so left?”

Riyou looked down at your hanging body, held up by the taut belt.

“Intel says they don’t allow vehicles past this point. It’s such a drag…” She sighed at the reminder.

Her thumb reaches around to the buckle and it releases the suffocating thing from around you. You let out a sharp groan of pain as you land on your knees.

You wince, holding your gut as you lift yourself up. Zanka smacked his hand over his mouth, suppressing laughter.

You scowl. “Shut it.”

Zanka lets out another giggle, clicking the door open and grabbing a hold. Of your hand to guide you out into the hell like heat that awaited you outside.

***

On the long list of regrets you had formed since the faithful day Rudo stumbled across you and Zanka getting out enjin’s stupid jeep was definitely up there. Pushing down every one to win first place with every step you took in the grueling heat.

It was as if the sun had reached down and rung all the water out your body. Your eyes were trained on the village just above the horizon. Covered in a haze of dust and bleary with your

A mile and a half wasn’t too long. You could handle it. You’ve handled a hell of a lot more in the past, the heat shouldn’t change that.

You reached your hand Into your satchel. Digging around miscellaneous item until you feel the cold steel on your fingers. pouring a little bit into your hands and splashing it on your face.

You search for rudo in the crowd ahead. Talking with Riyou. Enjin had his stupid umbrella to keep himself cool (lucky bastard) and Gris had his cap to keep himself cool. And Zanka looked— unbelievably hot.

Not— not like that. Like in the sense his face was a ridiculously angry red. Even from far away you could see the back of his neck drenched in sweat.

You slowly jog up to him. Press up against his side.

“Hey.”

He looks down at you through half lidded eyes. His mouth quarks up Slightly

“Hey.”

It takes you a second to process his words. His bangs stuck to his forehead, glued together by sweat. God when were you so easily distracted? Wasn’t even doing anything

“You…good?”

He nods taking a deep breath.

“Yeah— I mean it’s hotter than i expected but— I’m good.” He smiles.

You hands grasp at the fabric on the inside of your pants. You let out a small breath as you glance down at your feet.

“You need water? A snack, anything?” Before he even respond you’re already handing him a water.

You watch his lips stretch into a grin as he takes it “mhm….”

You keep bobbing your head up and down like an idiot.

After a couple of seconds he leans close enough to feel his breath prick at your skin.

“You know…you’re really bad at this whole ‘ I’m not interested’ act.”

When you turn to face him your nose brushes against his. “You’re one to talk, getting on me like this.”

“Mmm, well I’m not as overt about it as you.”

“How am I overt?” You sneer.

He stands back up straight and wordlessly points towards the front. You lift your head to meet the deer in headlights stare belonging to Rudo. You feel your muscle tense up. You’d seen it around 16 times today, yet it never seemed to get easier.

“Shit.”

“Shit indeed.”

You tug on the inner flesh of your lip before leaning in.

“I get free rein later.”

“That’s not very appropriate now is it?”

“No but…when am I ever?”

He grins. “Focus and maybe.”

The soft crunches of gravel under his feet echo throughout the empty desert as he puts distance between the two of you. Each little one making your heart ache. God when did you become so needy?

You look up and you’re a little closer than you were before. Your heart is still heavy. Heavier than it should be for such a mundane thing, but it’s lighter than before knowing what awaited you.

By minute twenty you’re holding onto that shread of hope like a life line. The sensation of Your feet and calves burning only intensified with every step. Fatigue ran down your body. Despite your best efforts you can’t help but lag behind.

Your torso collapses over on itself. Your hands your saving grace as they clung to your thighs.

“Shit…” you hiss.

Your tongue flicks over your bottom lip. The micro instant saliva Coates the scratchy surface you can feel it soak up. Shit.

You glance at the others, Who were ahead by a few feet. You swallow and coax yourself to stand up straight.

“It’ll all be worth it…” you huff.

One, two, three, four, five, six,…seventeen. Seventeen paces is all it took for a good for nothing leg to slip up. A soft pop echoes in your ears and pain shoots up your side. The ground coming closer and closer as you tumble.

Faintly— so faint you almost missed it— you can hear the turning of heels and bits of rock flying upon impact.

“Woah there!” Two voices cry out. In addition Two hands reach for either arm and hoist you to your feet so fast your head could’ve spun right off. It didn’t, luckily but still.

You lift your head to meet the concerned looks of Zanka and Riyou.

Zanka’s eyes are shot wide. mouth agape into the cutest ‘o’ shape. Before you could even realize it your cheeks are stinging, you wouldn’t have even noticed if it wasn’t how his lips pressed together thinly; and for how his lashes fluttered when he looked away and towards Riyou, who just stared in between the two of you.

They both open their mouths, but Zanka’s quicker. “You good?”

Riyou’s brows knit together at that but she stays silent. She looks back at you, eyes turning into slits as she searched for reason.

“Yeah just— tired.”

Riyou smiles. “Hey don’t worry, we’re all on edge yeah?” She turns to Zanka.

“yeah… yeah” He clears his throat, his grip around you loosening.

“Look— Riyou continued, I gotcha girl. Just stick with me.”

Her gaze flickers back over to zanka, a subtle intensity beneath the sea of emerald green. She gives a little smile but it doesn’t quite meet her eyes.

“If…that’s okay with Zanka?” She asks with a small tilt.

He looks between the two of you and relinquishes his grip fully. “Oh uh— yeah, ‘course” He backs up, offering you small smile and jutting off to meet the others.

“Thanks, don’t know what’s up with me today.” you sigh.

“No worries. We’re all a little woozy nowadays, it’ll pass.” She pats your backs, guiding you forward towards the village.

“Y’know it’s just been so hot and we’ve been working like *crazy*—“

“Look i get it. We all get it, take a breather, ‘Kay?”

You nod. “Yeah…yeah… just, don’t get how Zanka does it, Y’know?”

She scoffs. “Zanka’s a fucking workaholic. He’s dying,can’t you see?”

You chuckle, leaning against her.

The wind whistles around you in that few seconds of silence as you watched zanka walk away.

In your peripheral you see Riyou scrutinize you the same way she did earlier. Fast with a silent intensity. As the gears turn in her head you see a fire light in her eyes. The same ones that light when she finds a weakness in a trash beast. The same that makes you wilt and feel pinned.

“Y’know…Zan- Zan keeps looking over here.” Riyou points out a little too casually for your liking. (Technically, it was a casual question but it, along with an ever growing list seemed heavier than it was in reality.)

Your teeth smack against your gums in consideration. Deny? Deflect? Distract?

“Yeah? Wonder why…”

“Wonder why…” she parrots with a snicker.

“You know… I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look after someone so much. How’d you do it?” Riyou prods.

You shake your head, doing your absolute best feigning incredulity. “He doesn’t look after me. We’re just close”

The lies roll off your tongue with a practiced ease. One after another with (what you’d like to believe is) nearly perfect composure. It was one of the things you had to learn, it got you by. So it should—

She gives you a once over from the corner of her eye. Fail. Total fail.

Riyou rolls her eyes. “Bull.” She spat.

“He’s like my brother and he doesn’t even look out for me like that.”

“Well, you don’t need to be looked out for. You’re good all on your own Riyou”

She smiles and softly pokes your cheek. “Oh I’m not bought so easily. *Thank you* though.”

“Not trying to buy you”

“No, but you are trying to buy me out of talking about you and Zanka.”

Shit. How is she damn perceptive about everything?! You look away, letting out a soft huff. “There’s no me and Zanka, no Zanka and I.”

A shit eating grin forms on her face. “So you two aren’t mission partners? You aren’t a duo?”

You pause and let out a soft scoff. “You know that’s not what I meant”

“I dunno what else you *could* be thinking. I mean I know what *I* meant but…” She hums innocently.

The corners of your mouth up turn. “You’re trouble.”

Riyou’s hands shot up. “Hey— just calling things like I see it”

“And you have a real funny way of seeing things.”

“You have a funny relationship with our dearest Zanka.”

It was at that point out it hits you just how pointless it was arguing with some as stubborn, observant and perceptive as your dearest Riyou. If she didn’t know already, it would be a matter of time before the inevitable would hit her.

You look forward. She was right.

Periodically in 2 minute, precise intervals you could see him swivel his head towards the two of you and as quick as a mouse snatching cheese he’d be back looking forward. He moved even faster when he saw you wave.

God how far have you sunk? Can’t even pass off a simple lie anymore? Your teeth sink gently into your gums. Sloppy. Sloppy. Sloppy. Sloppy.

The village finally came into clear view. Not obscured by dust or your own vision.

‘Soon.’ You soothe. Soon.

***

For what it was worth the town was beautiful. Bricks the color of vanilla whipped cream and others like warm candle light.

The aroma of fresh food was a staple in the town. The scent hit you the moment you stepped past sign that read ‘Akkala highlands’ . It was the hottest point of the eastward you quickly found out upon arrival. The roads were made of asphalt the color of

When you entered, street corners were filled with women and men hunched over stoves and presented food that would anyone’s mouth water. Pies nearly made you levitate and fried foods made you salivate.

By the time you reached the halfway point, you wanted to strangle or steal everyone and everything with a hint of shade. Despite the array of baked goods available The most you had been able to conjure up was cool water.

You let out a long exhale as condensation formed and ran down the slope of your nose.

“Enjin.” You groan, frustration rearing its ugly head and peaking through your tone.

“When the fuck are we getting there?”

Umbreaker shut with a hefty clang and slammed into the floor with an even heavier one. Enjin leaned on the handle and huffed.

“You asked that what? 15 times in the last 10 minutes, gimme a break!”

“I’m sorry— you’ve been waltzing around here looking like Mary fucking poppins. With The sun bouncing off of it, news flash I don’t have that so excuse me for being a little pissed here!”

Enjin smacks his teeth. He takes a long inhale.

“Look, i know we’re all pissed but this is the— beacon of light, ‘Kay? The sign from the sphere above that we’ll be done and everything will go right back to normal. One day at a time.”

He digs in seemingly endless pockets (seriously, he struck half his forearm in there and it still looked like he had room) and pulled out a crumpled up map. turning it around and making two red circles.

“This is just about where we are—

he points to one on the upper right.

— and this is where the client is.” Pointing to the one higher, though not by much.

“Think about— think about how far we’ve come, it’ll pass in the blink of an eye. That answer ya question (reader)?”

You half half the mind to snap back with something else. Something scathing to get under his skin. But the thought is nulled by the brush of Zanka’s hand against yours. The coolness of his feeling almost better than water. Your heels dig in the sand and you mutter an apology.

The rest of the team didn’t speak. Although, when you looked around you could see equal frustration in most of them ; besides maybe Gris and Follo who were visibly somewhat okay.

“You…okay?” Zanka whispers.

“Yeah I’m just—…I’m off today…need a good rest.” He slowly nods.

“I’m here, if you need anything…I’m your partner.” His thumb runs over your own. You smile thinly.

“Sap.”

He scoffs. “God forbid I’m nice to you…”

It earns a giggle from you for some ridiculous reason. And zanka gives you his stupid golden boy smile he wore like the badge of honor which— makes you laugh even harder.

“God you’re…so stupid..”

He scoffs and His eyebrows knit together shaking his head. He looks away and towards the group. Your gaze follows his. Falling down and meeting Rudo’s, who looked at you two with the social awareness of an overly observant toddler.

You pull your hand away from his. Your nerves screams beneath your skin in the absence of him. To silence them you dug your nails into your palm, slamming them at your sides rhythmically.

“I’m gonna go fucking crazy by the end of the day.”

“Lay low. Like enjin said, it’ll pass before you know it. We’ll talk to him.” He reassures.

You could see in his features he’s trying to hold himself in the same, indifferent way he normally did. You understood it, of course. You two had done this song and dance maybe a thousand times, it didn’t mean anything.

A more bitter piece of you crawls out of you. A malignant growth that only grows worse under pressure and heat.

“Right…cause that’s all you care about.” You choke out. the words lack any real power. They don’t reach zanka, he keeps moving a few feet ahead. you’re not even sure if they reach the atmosphere. But your muscles do relax. You feel lighter. So you keep moving forward.

The house of the client luckily, stood out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of the town. It stood solemnly atop a hill, With a dark cobblestone staircase leading up to it.

“Damn it…thought you said we were done with the hard part enjin?” Follo grumbled as he reached up for the zipper of his jacket. Tugging it down and off.

“Look— I am so sorry I don’t know every detail of everything people, we can’t al be perfect.”

“You don’t know details of a mission…that you’re in charge of…that semiu tells you specifically…”

“Stop attacking me!” Enjin barked, the words coming out more pathetic than actually stern.

Enjin trudged up the steps in a huff, his heavy steps echoing up the few steps he took before the ground disnergrated beneath. One wrong step and—

“Motherfuck-!” Half of his body tumbled down the steps. The other was stretched out and left dangling as his foot’s trapped beneath the rubble.

He scowls at the sound of stifled snickers. “Laugh it up won’t you…I make a— humble noble sacrifice and this is the thanks I fucking get…”

He reaches towards the rust railing, hoisting himself up. “You— You”

Enjin raises his finger towards Zanka— whose back has been turned away this since the millisecond he hit the floor— and shaking it at him. “…I can’t even”

Before Enjin could endure what he perceived to be another slight, He’s already on his way up. Umbreaker as a guide, poking holes into the weak spots ahead as you all follow along.

You take a few steps. You run your hands across the smooth steel of the railing and dust paints its self across your hand. With every step you could feel the heat cooking your skin more and more, notch by notch.

It’ll all be over. You can lie in the comfort of your love without doing the dumbest run around. You’ll salvage your own sloppy mistakes. It’ll be over.

You feel Riyou’s hand reach for your own. Squeezing it a few times. She echos your own thoughts, a little more earnestly than you did. “C’mon girl, you’re almost there.”

You give her a tight lipped smile. Letting her guide you along with much needed support through pot holes big and small.

At the summit, you could fully see the small house up close. Its walls seemed to be held together with rotting brick and wood. Surrounded by a very dingy white picket fence, pieces of its paint worn off over the years. The fences sharp points of intersection worn over time into a stub. Any life it had seemed to be sucked out of it a long time ago.

“You sure this is the address?” You slip the map from Enjins hands. as you do Rudo, Riyo and Zanka quickly gather around.

You scrutinize the ink as hard as you can, gaze looking back and forth between where you were previously and where you are. You flicker back up over the horizon and back to the map again.

Riyou smirks “Hey If not, then shit maybe we get to go home and sleep.”

“Ah, but no money.” you say with the soft click of your tongue. Folding the map down into a smaller shape and haphazardly stuffing it into your pocket.

“Awh shit why’d you remind me!” Riyou groaned, throwing her head back.

“But isn’t sleep worth more than money?” Rudo perked up.

“If the sphere above was gracious we’d get both” zanka sighed.

Gris turned around. “Shush—come on don’t be rude. You guys know better” He scolded.

Enjin ponded on the door. “Cleaners!….anyone home?”

He waited a few seconds before trying again, the weary wood quaking with every hit with Chunks of splintering wood flying off.

“Are you sure you didn’t—“

“No no— just… give it a minute give it a minute. Third times the charm.”

He knocks again, converting all the strength in his body into that tightly balled fist.

“Maybe they’re scared…” rudo wondered with the small tilt of his head.

Enjin backed up again per routine, tapping his foot rhythmically in the sand as he dug into the depths of his pocket. He pulls out a cigarette and lit it with shaking hands.

As he did, the door slowly creeped open to reveal a pitch black abyss. Only the first couple inches of tan wood exposed by the afternoons light.

Enjin leaned forward, straining his eyes against the seemingly black hole. He fiddles with his cigarette, finding the perfect angle to hold it like a match. From the added light, the vague trace of a figure came into view. Short and stout with a curve. Enjin made a small animalistic sound as he stumbled backwards into Gris.

With the additional space, the figure emerged with a nawreled hand pushing the door wider, exposing a woman with whispy gray hairs and pale spotted skin that stretched and sagged unnaturally around bone. She grimaced at the sight of you all. She attempted to get control her lips, which seemed to have a mind of their own , and gave a small smile.

“Cleaners…? Cleaners!” The old woman practically threw herself into Enjin. His eyes widened but he didn’t say anything, instead he just let his cigarette fall and let the fire die beneath his foot.

“Oh thank goodness! Thank goodness!” She cried, voice quivering.

Enjin let her stay there for a few moments before gently coaxing her off to face him. Once she did, he bent down on one knee. “Mhm, I take it you’re the one who called?”

She nodded profusely. “Please, please come in!” She beckoned with the wave of her hand. she pressed her whole body weight against the door till the point her legs visibly quaked. However quickly enjin takes over, holding his right fist against the door while the left guided her back into the apartment. From there the duty was passed off to Follo.

You and Riyou were the last to enter with the wall and the old woman’s weeping as your only guide. You pause as your hand bumps against a smooth curve. You raise your hand and with one full swipe down on your palm the lights flickered on.

The house was warmer on the inside than it looked outside. Its walls covered in a sunset orange wallpaper that had faded over time, images of a woman with children much younger than her in a yard. Throughout the house blankets and quilts were strung about, lamps of various shapes and sizes.

She lead you all to the kitchen. On the counter rested a cracked sage green tea pot with smoke blowing out the nozzle. Next to it was a batch of cookies, whose smell wafted throughout the house. She sat you all down at a long dinning table covered in a yellow clothe while she grabbed the tray and laid it out on the table.

“So— miss…?”Follo started as he helped her into her seat with a cup of tea.

“Mrs. Messina”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Messina. So…what exactly have you been seeing?”

She wet her lips, mouth opening and closing as she found the words. “Beasts…wild beasts made of trash have been terrorizing the other side of this hill! Sign of the devil I say…sign of the devil…mischief…”

Zanka’s eyebrow quirked up. “Just the other side of the hill?”

She nods. “Thats why i moved up here, they just keep— coming and coming! But they won’t get me no no no.”

He slowly nods. “Right…and what do they look like?”

She put a large amount of space between her hands. “Big…big big larva with an awful stench. With a fat meaty tail that extends for at least a yard or two. Very aggressive, nearly took a hit myself.”

The description made your face twist less than what’s considered to be polite or professional for a consultation. Saliva rolls down your throat as you try to swallow the feeling.

You glance towards Zanka. His muscle twitches involuntarily at her words but keeps composure only slightly better.

“They haven’t hit the town yet?” Follo gently.

“No no, but they will soon and when they do. Oh when they do…” Her bottom lip quivered.

Follo grabbed a hold of her hand. “We hear you, and we promise on the sphere it won’t come to that. You’ll get your life back before you know it.”

Tears welled in Mrs. Messina’s eyes. Falling down her cheek and reviving dry patchy skin. She pulled Follo’s hand down to her own and trapped it between her other.

“Oh thank you, thank you! You’re all such a lovely batch aren’t you? Anything you need, anything at all just ask and it’s yours no questions asked!” She choked out through violent convulsive sobs.

She continued, “I have rooms for you all if you need it, my kids left long ago and so did my husband I truly have more space than i know what to do with. I even have a double room for you and your lady” Her eyes land on yours.

Zanka freezes like a dear in headlights. “Huh— ma’am I don’t have…”

“Ahhhh don’t be modest! I know young love when I see it” she sang weakly through her sniffling.

The absolute certainty threw you through an absolute hoop. You almost feel sick for at the accusation. You feel a pair of eyes shift towards you. You don’t even have to shift to know who’s, but your body betrays you and looks to meet Rudo’s.

There’s almost something expecting in the way his eyes bore into your own.

‘What? What the hell do you want? I apologized so let it be’ you want to scream out.

Your nails dig into the table beneath you in attempt to anchor your thoughts. It’s not that serious. You know it’s not.

Shame rises in your throat like thick mucus. You couldn’t blame him, hell him and the woman don’t even know each other. Unfortunate guess. That’s all it was.

Your mind was all fuzz and static for what feels like minutes on end. The heat had made you deluded. Hell was Rudo even watching? Were you more mad at him or yourself?

Your head pulses at your left temple. You wouldn’t be shocked if a second organ had grown there the way it bulged beneath the skin.

You weren’t out for too long through, as you hear Zanka say with a polite chuckle that

“Oh— we’re just coworkers, nothing more.” Your stomach coils

“Oh! Well my eyes must be going bad aren’t they? How embarrassing…You two just remind me so much of my husband and i…well, nevertheless, my offer stands”

she giggles. Her hands retract from follo’s and pick up the tray of cookies, extending it and presenting it around the table.

“Cookies my dear! Cookies! To fill you up!”

The cookies were flat with a dark char on top that had a pungent Oder coming from it, while the bottom melted against the parchment paper which was stained with grease.

Follo swallowed. You could see the gears in his head turning as he tried to figure out the least offensive way of rejection before eventually landing on—

“Well…actually it’s probably better if we don’t eat just yet, might weigh us down.” The words are like pulling teeth. Especially when her face drops into a frown.

“But— he quickly interjects It’ll good to have after, so they won’t be a waste!”

She smiles and takes his hand and presses her lips against the back of it. “Oh aren’t you so sweet, you can certainly have extra.”

He cracks a small smile “That is very kind of you…Is there anything else you would like to tell us? Anything at all?”

She shakes her head. “No no but please be safe my dearests. God I don’t think I could handle another heartbreak.”

She gets up and beckons you all to the backdoor. “Right down there is where the problem is, i trust all you good people to take care of it, don’t let me down”

Follo rubs her back and everyone gives her their word. Enjin opens the glass door and Everyone followed.

tag list ᯓ★@youseembored @ayeshazadora @sugarapplepiee @phancutie @x3nafix

A/n ᯓ★ wow this took way longer than I thought holy. this is my first long fic so I’m still learning But I hope you all enjoyed I put a lot of time into this and I’m excited to work on new things!

Reblogs and requests are always welcome ˚₊•𓂅𓏲ʚ🥞ɞ𓂅𓏲•₊˚

[cinnamondollz]

I feel like i should update since it’s been like two weeks since i posted, im alive yall!!! schools just a pain in my asshole and i haven’t had a ton of time to work on fics. but i got a lot done today and i have a ton of free time tmrw since im going on a road trip with my family so free reign to work. I also have two requests i need to do but if im honest that’ll probably get done in like april just because of how much shit i have to do. But that’ll be done (and hopefully a zanka x jabber x reader fic i’ve had stuck in limbo since like january…. 👀)

But yeah, hopefully i’ll post something soon i just wanna let you guys know im alive and well and been working!!

Also, thank you guys for 100+ followers??? hello??? you guys have been super kind and supportive so i wanna thank you all for keeping me motivated to write! I wanna do something special but idk what yet…

kk that’s all byeeee!!

[cinnamondollz]

𓏲𑁘: ִ ׄI’ll keep you my dirty little secret ˚ ⭑ ׄ . (Wc 1.4k, not proof read)

Pt1 —> pt2 -> pt3

When you and Zanka began dating you two had agreed on take things slow. Zero pressures, just enjoying the feeling of you and him being together.

One of those pressures being— the cleaners.

You both decided that being forward and out the gate announcing your relationship wouldn’t be the best for two reasons—

1. You two were both on the same team and it would make it awkward to be all lovey dovey in front of them (not that you two were particularly obnoxious or touchy but just in case)

2. No one on team Akuta knew what the hell privacy was and you knew out of spite this would increase tenthfold

You would tell them eventually but indefinitely this would just be your little secret.

Didn’t stop their suspicions though. Even if they weren’t as loud and obnoxious as they were in insisting you two were into each, You could see it in the way enjin stared at the two of you whenever you were together. Or in Riyous snickers.

But for one reason or another, let it be because you would rather die than let enjin revel in his satisfaction or because you liked the privacy, you refused to come out with it. No matter how difficult that was.

HQ for the past few weeks had been busy, long grueling jobs had filled your schedules with zero breaks in between. So By the time the weekend rolled around exhaustion weighed on everyone heavy. and you needed a pick me up immediately.

your legs quaked with every little motion as you made your way towards the source of your salvation.

The most frustrating part about your boyfriend is how hard he works. Every moment he could, he devoted it to pushing himself to his limits. Some part of you hoped that— maybe just maybe with the sudden increase of jobs he’d loosen up atleast a little. But you knew better.

So when you peel the door back to see him training in the soft glow of the sun. sweat beading down from his neck to his spine, you definitely weren’t shocked.

You could see if you strained your eyes against the suns overwhelming light His grip on assistaff was looser than usual. Along with the way his uniform was wrapped around his waist and the soft heaving of his chest were all tell-tell signs of Zanka’s own exhaustion.

“zanka…” You call out in a small rasp.

No response.

You let out a heavy huff of air as your body looses all drive and slumps against the doors wooden frame. Slowly you suck the air in around you, conjuring in all the energy around you like a black hole as you force your vocal cords to make a sound.

“zan!!” You force out a little louder.

It takes him a few seconds for the weak sound to reach him but at the distinct pitch and tone of your voice he turns around.

“hm? What are you doing out here… shouldn’t you be resting?” He hums, his staff twirling idly as he comes closer.

You softly groan as you Push your self off the wooden frame. The world uneven beneath your feet, swaying in whatever way it pleases. After the first few steps Your hand falls limply over your overheated forehead as you thrust yourself into him and he catches you.

“haven’t seen you…you ain’t been avoiding me have you?” murmur against him, dull and lacking any of your usual inflections.

He visibly tenses before averting his gaze.

“course not…”

“so why are you out here instead of with me?”

“I just have to train right now…we can—“ He trails off as The corner of your mouth twitches slightly.

“…oh….oh”

And at that point you couldn’t hold back from laughing. Earning a small, previously withheld scoff from him. His body loosens against yours.

“‘yer such a pain in my ass.” he turned his head away as his cheeks turned a nice rosy pink.

“You love me.” You giggle out at the end of your fit.

“but seriously there’s no way you working. you don’t wanna relax? not even a little?”

“I have to figure out a new technique—“ the argument dies on his tongue as you swiftly pulled him into you, pressing your lips to his.

“every time you go out on a mission that’s practice.” you hum

“that’s not— that’s different—“

Another kiss.

“can you—“ One on his jaw.

“hey i-i said i would—“ your hand shifted his face to the side, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth and cheek.

“g-goddamnit slow down!” and one final kiss to mouth, which had gone slack from your little attack on him, before you quickly slipped away. Giggling and skipping like a school girl.

“Alright i’ll let you get back to your training now!”

You wish you got a picture of him stupefied. His eyes were blown wide like saucers, face flushed and his hair tousled.

“i— you— fuck…Don’t patronize me!” he shouted, and soon he was hot on your trail muttering curses under his breath.

It didn’t take long to catch you at all. Within about 30 seconds he had your wrist in an unyielding grip as he dragged you into his room. without much fight on your part anyway.

His room was surprisingly cool compared to the oppressive heat that lied outside his door. and as you fell back against the mattress with a soft bounce you remembered just how much you loved resting you pretty head on it.

Despite being here more times than you could count on it all felt new, clean. Like coming home from a long getaway, the cherry on top being the warmth of his lips and his body as it sized yours.

Cool hands trailed up your body heat as he pressed peppered a little less than soft kisses over your skin. every little gesture made to make you relent.

“kay! kay! i’m sorry!” Your chest heaves up and down rapidly, the words are barely auditable behind your hysterical laughter.

Zanka breaks out into a small smile against the crook in your neck“nah nah nah…You wanna play games? we’re gonna finish it.” he chuckled, nuzzling in deeper before nipping your pulse where skin bulged slightly.

the small screech you let out in response echos far beyond the thin walls of your lovely boyfriends room. but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when the little competition between the two of you was just rearing up.

Teeth and teeth brushed against each other slightly as you both attempt to complete conquest over the other. loud streaks and soft giggles ringing throwing the room. limbs flailing stupidly in the air and eventually getting tangled with each other.

You found yourself saddled over his waist, peppering his with kisses as the war subsided as Zanka’s hands found their way to the small of your back. Any thoughts of training or exhaustion were set aside by the ease of his lips on yours.

The world was so far from the comfortable safety of your room. So far that any noise, even the noise of the door creeping open was easy to miss. You would’ve missed it if it wasn’t for the color draining out of zanka’s face as he glanced at that very direction.

You turn your head slightly to be met with poor little shocked rudos face. Eyes blown open wide and jaw dropped.

Zanka quickly scrambles from beneath you, fumbling with his covers to cover himself while Rudo slowly connected the dots on what exactly the sight he was seeing was.

“…no way…you two are—“

Zanka shoots from the bed and snatches rudo into the room with one hand as the over clamped over his mouth.

“Rudo. You tell anyone…especially enjin…—“

Rudo violently shakes his head. “I saw nothing!”

“swear on your life.”

“…I swear i won’t tell.”

“swear on your life” He repeats through gritted teeth, jerking him a little by the collar of his shirt.

“Hey go easy on the guy… he’ll stick to his word ain’t that right rudo?” You grin, shooting him a little look.

He nods again and with a small scoff He was released from Zanka’s grip.

“…what did you need?” Zanka grumbled, backing a way and folding his arms over each other.

Rudo swallowed, face still red and keeping his gaze to the floor. He murmured softly that “Enjin needs zanka”

Zanka sighs, throwing in a shirt and leaving.

One member down, four to go

Reblogs and requests are always welcome ˚₊•𓂅𓏲ʚ🥞ɞ𓂅𓏲•₊˚

[cinnamondollz]

Yall! Im not with @lushgaasp anymore I am now with….@cinnamondollz!!!

I considered changing my username for like a month now but now I’m committed I’m in it now

[cinnamondollz]

. ❥ ּ֯ ┆꒰ Pervert Roommate!Follo masterbaiting with your panties while you’re away ּ֯ .ᐟ ꒱. ❥ ּ֯ ┆(Drabble)

The pile of laundry he was supposed to do was discarded next to his bed.

He eyed the door momentarily. Your departure was sudden due to an “emergency” a week ago and you hadn’t been able to finish your normal more mundane tasks. Including your weekly load of laundry. Having Follo, your roommate do it for you wasn’t a big deal. Every other week since the day your moved into your little cramped dorm he’d do it for you, so what was the difference?

difference was— he now had full access to your underwear.

fuck— he felt like such a creep. he was a creep, rummaging through his sweet, trusting roommates dirty laundry like this but…you weren’t due to come home till the next day. You wouldn’t know would you? what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.

So shamelessly, behind his closed door he dug through it. His cock swells and strains against his boxers just at your secent.

His eyes landed on a pair of white and pink lacy striped panties partially obscured with a slew of less important items particularly deep into the large load. His stomach coils slightly at the sight and nervously reached deep to fish it out.

He lets out a slow breath as he sees it in all of its glory. it was adorned in pink pretty bows and blessed with a soft silky texture. Well— except for the middle which is slightly stiff.

His head snaps towards his door. Fuck he was doomed.

It wasn’t like you were home. By the time you were the evidence of his digression against you would be long erased by the washing machine. It wasn’t like you would walk in on him.

His ears burned a harsh red as he slowly opened up the fabric, and pressing it to his nose.

Instant hard on. Eyes almost rolled to back of his pretty little head.

Inside lingered the scent that was distinctly you and your filthy slick. The slick he’d imagined time and time again licking and drinking as if it was a reward bestowed to him by god himself. Without a second thought, his shorts shot down to his ankles and with the soft bounce of his mattress he found himself on his back.

He inhaled your scent once more, his left hand palming and teasing his angry cock head. shit— he was going to hell that was for sure.

A soft whimper escapes him, He could vaguely see the precum spill out his cock and smear his underwear through the thin material before eventually develop into just stroking his length. The rough material stimulating him far better than his hand alone could.

it’s pathetic just how needy he got at the thought of you. All thoughts of what you would say, how you would reacted vanished and were replaced with the idea of your tits in his face. Pebbled nipples staring at him and begging him to give them sweet relief. Or maybe you bent over the edge of his bed, your pretty pussy slick with arousal and throbbing around his slender fingers.

It’s so pathetic in fact he can’t even follow his regular routine of edging himself to make it feel extra good, his cock practically jumps out him cum stained boxers and into his hand. He had to cum. he had to. over and over until he was drooling. Mind completely numb.

follo’s leaky cock twitched as soft lace met sensitive skin. Pearly white beads ruining the nice little peace of cloth. His chest rose and feel in a heavy rhythm. With every exhale the cutest moans and mewls from his mouth.

It’s an angelic sight, really. His brows knitted together, sweat dripping down his forehead and making raven colored strands stick down to it like glue.

All he could think about was you, in his bed, tears pricking at your eyes as he ramed jnto you while mumbling the sweetest little apologies into the crook of your neck.

He could feel the coil in his lower stomach tightening. Cum started to spill over, his fist growing prune as he chased his high. He needed to slow down…He was gonna come too early but the friction spurred him forward.

all his sense were overridden and clouded. So clouded he couldn’t hear the soft click of the door and definitely not the sound of your footsteps as you approach his door.

No. like a completely idiot he only realized when you were actually in the damn room. Even worse, the second you two make eye contact, thick milky ropes shoot up and fall right onto his v-line.

a silence few between the two of you, your eyes blown wide and mouth agape at the sight.

Fuck— how does he explain this. Your panties, around his hard, throbbing cock. With his cum panting his stomach while staring like a little kid who caught his hand in a cookie jar.

His bottom lip quivered as he searched for something, anything to explain the scene before him.

“…Y/N i can explain—“

Slowly you walk forward, your bags dropping behind you with a small thud.

“…Those my panties?” you ask rhetorically with a small tilt of your head like you were completely oblivious. (you weren’t.)

“i didn’t mean to—“ he stuttered as you come even closer.

“knew you liked but i didn’t know you wanted me this bad” you hum, the bed creaking underneath your weight as you sat next to him.

He was stunned in an instant.

…You knew this whole time?

His mouth opens slightly to answer but then you quickly ask without a second thought—

“You need help?”

And the only thing he could muster out was a slow, shaky breath. Then a slow head nod.

His body was boiling hot to the touch. His mind completely blank with the feeling of your pretty, painted acrylics stroking him while whispering the sweetest little words of encouragement in his ear.

“C’mon…almost there baby…” you mumbled as his hips bucked up into your aching hand.

“N—need to…”

“Know you wanna come…gotta earn it first..”

“Thank you— thank you so fucking much pretty girl…” he whines, the words spilling from his mouth stupidly. Selfishly, his hands reach your buttoned white top. Clawing at the fabric.

“Please can I see?— I need it—“

“Need what follo? Use your words.”

“Your tits…need them…need to see ‘em” he pants out, but he’s hardly asking for permission, as soon as you give him that sweet little grin he’s already torn one out and his thumb teases your pebbled nipple.

It’s a little funny in all honesty, a dog in heat was the perfect way to describe your little perv of a roommate. He needed you and he could hardly control himself. Complete putty in your hands.

His bucked his hips, whimpered and moaned more and more every second.

Your tits were his only anchor as he kneaded the loose fat like dough. His grip growing stronger the more you sped up. In half an hour your hand was sticky with his cum yet somehow the fucker still had energy.

His hips twitched and he had long stopped forming full in sentences. Just incoherent babbles and moans mixed with the squelching as you moved your now exhausted wrist.

When his brows furrow it’s your first sign he’s coming towards his release.

The second being the Beads of cum that blossomed from his tip so deliciously. You lean over slightly before flicking out your tounge and slowly dragging it across the angry flushed head to get a taste. ( A little sweet, actually.) and that is what drives him over the edge.

His hand flies to the back of your head in some attempt to stabilize himself, however, all it really did was make sure his thick sweet ropes shot into your mouth. (Not that your really minded)

your eyes widened slightly as the warmth filled your mouth. You slowly pull away, licking your lips and before he stutters out an apology your lips are on his.

“You’re not ready to tap out are you?…I haven’t even come yet… “ :(

Reblogs and requests are always welcome ˚₊•𓂅𓏲ʚ🥞ɞ𓂅𓏲•₊˚

[spherewrite]

thinking of how gentle zanka could be when you're sick.

zanka wraps the blanket over you, as you lie on your back in the comfort of your bed.

he pushed away strands of your hair that were blocking your eyes, and felt your forehead with the back of his hand, convection working overtime as the heat from you transferred to the coldness of his hand.

zanka leaned in and kissed your forehead, all while caressing the softness of your cheek. 

you pushed him away weakly. “you'll catch my cold,” you said, your voice raspy with your itching throat.

zanka flicked your forehead lightly. “don't be stupid. call me if ya need anything, ‘kay?”

“okay.” you pulled the blanket over half of your face, in fear zanka would see how red you've gotten (although, you could probably get away by saying it's just because you're sick).

zanka kissed you again on the forehead.

“stop kissing me, zanks,” your voice muffled under the blanket. “you'll get sick.”

“then, i'll lie down here with ya on yer bed as we heal together.”

“you're so—”

“shut up before i kiss ya again.”

you were going to say cute, and zanka knew you were going to, so he spoke before you could finish.

he then made himself comfortable next to you… you really hope he doesn't catch your sickness after this.

masterlist.

[cinnamondollz]

⋮ ⌗ ┆18 years, 18 kisses ‧˚꒰🐾୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ

ᥫ᭡ synopsis જ⁀➴ You missed his birthday last year and you have a little fun this year to celebrate via teasing.

ᥫ᭡ warnings જ⁀➴ fluff, not proof read, maybe ooc

ᥫ᭡ a/n જ⁀➴ Made this off of caffeine at midnight with a hurt neck and sore legs. Pls have mercy y’all

Divider by @suupersonic !!

Zanka was never big on birthdays. I mean, sure it marked the day he came into the world but what else? Maybe it was how he was raised. Gyoka and Kyoka celebrated with him when he was young while their parents were out defending the ground. He had vague memories of a cake and candles but that tradition was long forgotten as they became adults too. He wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t sting when he would wake up to a desolate house but that was a daily occurrence.

When Zanka joined the cleaners the treasure birthday’s once was for him became less obscure. Every year Enjin was insistent on making his birthdays a public spectacle. Brightly colored Banners were strung around everywhere, balloons, the whole nine. Despite the little scowl on his face from the constant attention, he’d be a liar to say he didn’t somewhat enjoy it. But the one he feared the most was you.

You joined early last year, just missing his birthday by a hair. When you found this out, you made a declaration that you would make it up to him in evert way possible. Something he’d prayed to the high heavens that you’d forgotten about. Hell, as weeks passed he almost foolishly believed you did.

He kept his eye out for any suspicious behavior the two weeks leading up to his birthday . His eyes were trained to see all your tells. That devious grin, a glint in your eyes. But nothing. So he moved onto looking out for any interaction between you and Enjin.

Enjin loved to get everyone together. birthdays were the perfect excuse. He was willing to bet that Enjin thought that the best part about being team captain was that Even when he couldn’t get everyone in HQ to tag along team Akuta was sure to come. Plus, he loved embarrassing Zanka for the hell of it. Making his birthday perfect. So if you were planning anything, you were sure to go to him right? Oh but News flash— You and Enjin weren’t talking much either. Not anymore than usual anyway. He strained his ear against the thin walls, Waiting eagerly almost like a puppy for you two to throw him a bone. But atlas, nothing.

Riyo? You two talked each other’s ears off about any and everything. Food, boys, girls, fighting, Tv shows, magazine’s. Riyo was one to hold a secret under lock and key too. You telling her wouldn’t be a stretch. Zanka really wanted to investigate, hell he needed too. but as he strained his ear outside your dorm he feels guilt churn up and shame becoming upchuck. He’d tried a total of 5 times before giving up.

As the week closed he was half way to crazy town. His obsession over whatever plan he knew you had only grew over the week. The only bone you were willing to throw him was that you were at least thinking about getting him a gift. Which wasn’t anything particularly special. ( a little lie. Anything from you was special. He craved your attention, but he found himself getting greedy. Leading him to this little plight)

The sun had retired half an hour earlier. He laid beside you in your bed as you droned on about some characters in the dumb show you’d sucked him into. Though neither of you payed it much mind. The Tv played at a low buzz. His mind numbed by the feeling of your fingers combing through bleached locks. Nails scratching his scalp. He never talked too much during these moments. His acknowledgment came in soft hums and chuckles.

The show cuts briefly. Whatever telenovela you put on cut short by the grating voice of mymo. Showing off flashy jewelry and miscellaneous items that the sphere had dumped which just happened to be of some value. You lean into him a little. Your voice frustratingly indifferent as you simply ask— “Zan, you want anything?”

He hums, looking up from his lap to you. (as if you didn’t already have his full attention.) He shakes his head. “Nah, nothing really.”

You look at him like he’d just grown a second head. “Hah? God you’re so modest it sickens me.”

He huffs. “Not bein’ modest.”

You jab an accusatory finger to his temple, pushing it against his skull like a toddler. Zanka sighs. “Hey cut it out..” he grumbles.

“Just say it!” You whine. Your arms hook around him and shake him back and forth like a rattle.

“I’m serious!” He fought back, pushing you off with a light shove. You’d beg for maybe another 5 minutes before giving up.

However, Since that day, he’s felt your eyes on him more. Whenever you two traveled downtown, whenever his eyes got caught at something yours would too. Which at least gave him comformation he wasn’t driving himself crazy on something entirely baseless. A step in the right direction he told himself. but days passed and nothing more came of it; and for the first time in a while he actually felt a little..sulky? By the time he was ten Zanka stopped really caring about his birthday being forgotten. (or at least that’s what he coached himself into doing.) But this cut deeper.

February 3rd the clock announced as it strikes twelve. Frustration and brooding fulling his insomnia. Pathetically it had its claws deep in him. Did he seriously over think this? Or maybe you’d forgotten. Hell didn’t he want you to forget? I mean constant interaction was exhausting. He’d be satisfied with just you. He didn’t need some big gesture. So why was this bugging him so much!?

He was so deep in his sulking he’d almost missed the soft pound of your fist against his door. He slipped out from beneath the comfort of Cotten. As he opened the door, he’s instantly met with the feeling of your hands gripping the sides of his face. Pulling him into a soft kiss and pecks that left him baffled and dazed.

“Happy birthday!” You shout, and in a blink of an eye you’re already halfway down the hall and he just stood there. Stunned and flushed. Kiss one, success.

The morning proceeds per usual. Happy birthdays from everyone as everyone gathered in the mess hall. The smell of French vanilla toast and pancakes flowed throughout the room, his two favorites. Thoughts of The early morning lingered like a distant dream. His body demands to see you while his brain went wild not only figuring out what was your game. But what did the kisses mean?

“Riyo” he mumbles, rubbing his eye as the exhaustion hadn’t quite worn off. “You got any idea where (name) is?”

She makes a small annoying ‘Tsk’ sound. “I dunno, she’s your girlfriend.”

Zanka’s eyebrows knit together, a slight scowl on his lips. “Riyo..I don’t have time for you”

Her hands shoot up. “Woahhh chill Mr.Bad attitude. God I’ve never seen someone so pissy on their birthday. Seriously. Don’t know where she is though.”

Zanka sighs. Sitting back down like a petulant child. However his sour mood is quickly soothed as he see’s you come into the room. Stack of pancakes in one hand, French toast in the other with a smile on your face that, if he weren’t sitting he’d tripped over himself. You lean over him slow and careful just as everyone becomes absorbed in their own conversations.

You press another peck behind his ear that almost made him choke and his ear twitch. His neck snaps towards you, his fingers dig into the wood of the table. The urge to pull you close and kiss back overwhelming. Under normal circumstances, he totally would. Except they were in front of everyone, and judging by that cheeky little smile, you knew exactly what you were doing. And little would he know it would drag on for hours.

By the time Enjin had commanded for everyone to stroll downtown and partake in whatever festivities were around and for Zanka to indulge in whatever his spoiled little heart decided. You’d teased Zanka with your sweet lips latching onto him by surprise too many times to count. To make matters worse you’d refused to offer any explanation. So when Enjin lays down the law on going, This time he’s on guard. He refuses to let you be behind him. He walks slower, lagging behind. Shouldn’t be a big deal right? He’s been described as moody and brooding his whole life. No biggie right. Wrong.

“Zanka!” Enjin called out.

“What cha doing all the way back there? It’s your birthday man!” Enjin, pulls him forward. Terror filling his eyes as Enjin unknowingly (to zanka’s knowledge) thrown him to the wolves.

Worse part was that He knew he couldn’t even fight it because he knew Enjin wouldn’t have it. After all, wouldn’t it be awful of Enjin if he didn’t show off his star pupil at every turn? It was time like these where he wished he faded into obscurity.

At every opportunity, every moment where you two were temporarily alone or not being perceived by the rest of the team; he was under your siege. and all he could was give you scathing stares to avoid making a scene in public. They quickly racked up too, two kisses quickly became 12 as the day passed and your group went to store after store. While Enjin asked what color earrings he’d wanted he just mumbled like an idiot. His mind stuck on the warmth your lips left on his skin.

Enjin dragged you two into an antique shop. Stained glass painted a rainbow veil over rickety dull walls. Windmills chimed as warm air flooded in and turns it every which way. As every one echos off wooden halls the hair on the back of his neck prickles knowing you weren’t ever too far behind. Damn your stealth. And damn him for being stupid enough to get distracted by something as silly as incense.

At the back of the store between old lamps and jewelry boxes sat a teal, translucent cup. And inside three packs of lilac incense. The smell pulling him closer hook, line, and sinker. Zanka lets out a small gasp as you press a kiss to the hinge of his jaw.

“Quit it..” he grumbled as you press another kiss to the jugular. Before you can run off again his hand flies out to your wrist and pulling you close.

“Hm?” You bat your lashes like that would somehow undo the damage done to his psyche.

“Hm?” He mocks your dumb little look, cocking his head to the side and blinking rapidly.

“Quit it. I don’t know what your problem is, but if you’re not gonna make it known stop.” The words are supposed to be harsh but instead come out weak, a desperate attempt to hide just how cornered he felt.

Your eyes lit up like fireworks at the sight of his nerves. Your eyes flicker to ears as they glowed a bubbblegum pink. “I didn’t know it was such a problem to kiss my boyfriend.” You pouted at his words, leaning against a display like a child

“Yer’ actin’ weird.” He grumbles out.

He doesn’t say anything, just walking backwards. Like you were an apex predator.

You just snickered, slipping away with a Quick Look back and wink.

Total, 13 kisses

…

The only time you couldn’t attack him was dinner. You’d suggested a nice quiet restaurant, one you’d both went to a few times in the past. For the first time in the last twenty four hours, you attempted to speak to him like an actual person. It honestly pissed him off a little. You acting like everything was okay after your reign of terror on his spirit.

You two sat side by side, zanka slurping down pho and you scarfing down wagyu. Zanka with all his pettiness refusing to look at you. You gazed at him, hand in your palm. A foundness painting over your features as you see him wrapped up in sash, a colorful party hat strapped onto his head tightly under yours and Enjin’s persuasion (pestering).

In a moment of weakness, his eyes trail back over to you and the thing that really caught his eye was the rapid bounce of your leg. Suddenly an undercurrent of your frustration and antsyness became strikingly apparent. Which could be largely considered the best part of his day so far.

“You’re not talking to me..” You whine.

“I’m not?” Zanka hummed, his mouth full. To which you roll your eyes. Your torso sliding on to the table, blanketing your folded over arms with a small huff.

“C’mon what more do you want from me! I bought you multiple gifts and one you hadn’t seen yet.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Woah, really? Because— I haven’t gotten a single gift.”

“My kisses aren’t special enough for you? Wow, ungrateful much.”

Zanka scoffs “Maybe I’d be more grateful if you weren’t so fucking weird.”

“Relax, i got ya something…You just gotta be patient.” You try to lean into one and he makes a small noise a kin to an animal, turning his neck away, exposing his Adam’s apple that bobbed so cutely.

“Heard there’s a birthday boy around!” A server called out, A big cake on a platter decorated with blueberries, raspberries, and blue frosting that made his mouth water.

“You like it? It’s cheesecake.” You grinned.

Zanka’s ears turned to a pretty embarrassed pink at all the attention. The corners of his mouth sucked in a little to reign in the excitement bubbling inside of him. Enjin had jumped to his feet immediately when the woman had called out. Camcorder ready. He raised his right finger, his voice carrying throughout the whole restaurant.

Enjin waved his finger around like the conductor of their little choir. “One! Two! Three!”

Your voices all blended together oddly and out of sync but somehow all fit together perfectly. You coaxed him to his feet, tugging lightly on his sleeve and leading him to the front. Zanka’d eyes were blown up wide like a complete idiot. his pupils dilated and heart pounded and pumped rapidly in his ear. It was all so stupidly simple but in that moment the world seemed it sway on it’s axis. You sat down on an empty chair near by, squeezing his hand and singing along. Enjin, being himself couldn’t let him just die in peace, he started up again, clapping his hands.

“Are you one, are you two, are you three, are you four—“ The server handed you a lighter and you lit the one and the eight. Zanka’s jaw ticked as his palms began to sweat. Not just from how embarrassing (lovely) the whole ordeal was but the fact that you knew. He didn’t even know if this was meant to be a gift or torture at this point. He couldn’t even stop his smile anymore.

“Are you seventeen, are you—“

“I’m eighteen!” He called out, a little louder and a little more enthusiastic than he intended.

Part of him hoped this was the peak of your plan or else he’d be ruined

…

Since the dinner, you’d been oddly dormant. He knew you, very very well and despite how sickeningly tooth rotting the moment was, It couldn’t be the end could it?

He sat in his room, stuffed full of cake and dazed from the amount of times he’s had to move his lips to speak. No time for training or solitude, just people. Gifts put neatly in a pile. But one was missing. Yours. Which made the pile almost unbearable to look at. He felt a little ungrateful for the thought. Everyone picked out something nice, took him out on a day where he just ran wild, buying anything his spoiled little rich heart desired. But he wanted you. Despite all the warfare you enacted on him.

His room echoed at the soft pounding on his door. His lips tug downwards at the thought of interacting with anyone today but the feeling is quickly whisked away at the sight of you. With a small, wicked smile on your lips and a few box’s pressed between your arm and chest. In your other hand an absurdly large bouquet of flowers.

“You didn’t really think I forgot did you—oh!” Zanka, pulled you into a searing kiss. To which you melt very very easily. As he pulls away, you let out a shaken breath. A little “13” slips from you.

Zanka blinked, “hah…?”

You grab his cheeks a kiss him again, his face scrunching up slightly as your nose bumping. You pull away and Before he could even choke out a sentence you were already spitting words out at him.

“14! Now, I know your tired, and I know your super sick of everything but—“ You show off the bouquet of flowers. A mix between real honest to god carnations and some made out of pipe cleaners.

“Tada!” Without a word, he brings the flowers to his nose.

“Where’d ya get these from sweets?” Zanka croaked out, his voice gruff and riddled with exhaustion.

You press your index to your lips. “You don’t ask magicians their secrets now do you?”

“Ya made these for me..?”

“…depends, are you gonna make fun of me?”

He rolls his eyes. “When do I ever?” Which earned a look from you.

You turn around and handed him 3 different boxes in various shapes and sizes. The large one caught his eye, by large, I mean comically large.

You sat down on the edge of his bed, waiting eagerly with your hands clasped together. He almost froze as he sees a flash of enjin when he first joined the cleaners in you. Zanka picked up the largest one.

“Just what the hell is this..” he muttered, his fingers feeling up the thing to finds it a loose peace of tape. He had nearly has to spin around the damn thing to unwrap it.

“Need me?”

“Nope, I got it” he grunted. You could imagine his shock when he’s done to see it’s a plushie.

“Y/n…now why would I need this.”

“Oh so you don’t fuck with it?”

“Never said that…God yer’ so cheesy…” He kisses your forehead , 16. He snaps of one of the pipe cleaner flowers and put’s it behind your ear.

“Wasn’t it worth it tho?”

“No.”

You groan. “You’re such a hater.” You look over at the clock, 11:59. your eyes lock with his. The bed dips as your knee digs into the mattress as you crawl over to him. You press your lips against his, softly. For the first time in twenty four hours not fleeting but just existing in tandem. A clock chimes in the distance, signaling the day’s reset. You pull away.

“happy birthday baby”

Reblogs and requests are always welcome ˚₊•𓂅𓏲ʚ🥞ɞ𓂅𓏲•₊˚

[asieybarbie]

mutha semiu grier

[twodimensionalboyfriend]

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