sassy pants night 2 opening for gracie abrams
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Kaledo Art
almost home
Three Goblin Art
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Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
YOU ARE THE REASON

shark vs the universe

#extradirty

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Fai_Ryy
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi

Love Begins
Misplaced Lens Cap

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
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wallacepolsom

oozey mess

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Paraguay
seen from Paraguay

seen from United Kingdom
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seen from United States
seen from Chile
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seen from Russia

seen from Mexico
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@compass-genius
sassy pants night 2 opening for gracie abrams
djo interview before playing glastonbury
i need to die.
oh my god spencer calls u angel like he's been waiting his whole life to use the term. he calls u angel like its your legal government name and no other term makes sense. he calls u angel like there's a gun to his head asking for a single descriptive word to refer to you as. it's compulsive and it's not a term of endearment it's a Way of Life
spencer reid in 7.21
white noise | s.r
a/n: don't look at me i'm nervous for this
summary: spencer x reader -- a situationship defined by white noise; a metaphor for how we pacify ourselves and make stupid decisions to experience comfort, even when it hurts
word count: 1.2k (shut up okay)
masterlist
As you roll over in his bed, the soft white noise of feathers settling in down pillows and sheets crumpling up under your body echoes through your head. This white noise, his white noise, the sound of jersey sheets and an old ceiling fan and his heartbeat under your ear and him, which you've learned to fall asleep to more often than not.
It's cold in his room, but the still bed radiates warmth. There's a domestic quality to the way his fingertips trail up and down your arm, tracing lines over your shoulder absentmindedly. It's possessive somehow, in a way that says Iâve been here before, Iâll be here again.Â
There's a trait to Spencer that you can't quite put your finger on. It's familiar. It's falling asleep with your back against his stomach, his breathing pattern long engraved in your physiology. Its the thrum of the engine in his shitty old Volvo when he picks you up from work when you're too tired to walk. It's forehead kisses and whispered things that replay in your mind when you're struggling to put together all of the pieces.
Spencer is white noise.Â
You could be upset about it. You should, in fact. Spencerâs commitment to non-commitment haunts you more often than not. The domesticity of your situation sneaks up on you sometimes, in the form of remembered coffee orders, the lingering touch of his hand on your hip when you go out together. Heâs perfected all the things to make you feel like you belong to him, but he just canât find the words to make it true. Still, youâve become so used to him that youâre not sure you can quit despite your feelings.
Sunlight just barely makes its way through his blinds by the time heâs awake. It's morning, earlier than you'd like it to be, but you always wake up with him when you're here.Â
Your eyes flutter open and closed a few times before they focus, the room filled with the warm light emanating from the sconces. Light that hardens edges and raises new questions and drives a wedge between you, literally. This time of day has long become the bane of your existence.Â
âMorning,â he murmurs. He brushes the hair out of your eyes with the softest touch you've ever felt. You instinctively scrunch your face, too close to sleep to process, and you don't realize what he's doing until he presses a kiss to your forehead.
Your only response is an inaudible mumble. He doesn't need words to know what you're saying. It's come back to bed, it's I'm so tired, and it's too early,
âCoffeeâs on,â he says.Â
âHm,â you hum.Â
And so it goes as it does every day. A mugâyour mugâ, filled with coffee made to your liking left on the kitchen counter for you. A toothbrush left in the holder in your favorite color. You both get ready in silence, a practiced ritual, making space for each other with lingering touches where needed.Â
âLock the door when you leave?â He asks. You can hear the sound of his bag being shucked over his shoulder, and in an instant heâs behind you, warm hands on your hips and a soft kiss to your shoulder.Â
You spend the day waiting, as you always do, for him to invite you back in. You know its pathetic, that you should be better than this. You think of all the advice youâve ever received about love and relationships and what not to do. How not to be desperate. The second his message crosses your screen, any semblance of logic fades. it doesnât matter.Â
When you finally stumble through the entryway to his apartment, the day drops to your feet like shattered glass, shoes and bags and jackets left on the floor, discarded, forgotten, because youâre here. You can go back to pretending for just a little bit longer.Â
Its 11pm when you find yourself right back where you started. In his bed, wearing clothes that live in his drawers, the ceiling fan set to your preferred speed. Youâre half asleep on the side of the bed that youâve claimed as your own, at least for 5 nights a week, your cheek pressed into his chest, the rhythmic beating of his heart continuing to etch itself into your memory.Â
The day weighs heavy on you as it always does. Almost as heavy as the weight of all the things left unspoken, which youâve been carrying around as long as youâve known him.
âSpencer?â You murmur, fingertips idlying toying at the fabric of his shirt.Â
âHm?â
You pause to listen to the sound of your fingers running over the fabric of his shirt. Theres the gentle hum of the heater, the flickering of a TV left on somewhere. Thereâs comfort to how things are. Asking the question in your mind could disrupt that.Â
âDo you think,â you swallow, adjusting your head against him to look up at him. âThat youâll change your mind?â
âAbout us?â
âYeah.â
He sighs, and your head bobs with the rise and fall of his chest. âI donât know. Maybe one day.â
Silence lingers between you for a moment. It swells within every corner of your being.
âOne day.â
âMaybe,â he corrects. Itâs not biting or mean, but it's a deflection. âI donât know, baby.â
It takes a lot to avoid the temptation to press him. Heâs a hypocrite, at minimum. You could tell him all sorts of things about how heâs wrong, and how he doesnât get it. That itâs not fair that he gets you in every form; asleep, awake, happy, sad, in bed, at work, and you get nothing to show for it. You could give him shit for being exactly how he is, but you donât. Instead you choose to hold on to maybe. Maybe â an empty promise, but one youâll accept in exchange for whatever time he will give you.
Instead you sigh, scooting closer. He tucks your head right into position, the same way you sleep every night, with practiced ease. His hands find their home against your skin, leaving warm spots on your back that lull you halfway to sleep before you try again.Â
âIâm waiting for you,â you mumble. The words slip out before you can think about the weight of them. Itâs an admission, a request, a plea. Itâs stupid. It makes you feel sick in more ways than one, but itâs the truth.
âGo to sleep,â he replies.
Itâs an open ended question. Its a chance to pick a fight, to force him to make up his mind. Its an opportunity to tell him off. Tonight, though, you donât bother thinking about how his words lack substance. How he dances around every question. You donât have time to notice just how upset you really are before he presses another kiss to your forehead.Â
Tonight, you choose this. White noise; the illusion of belonging, his heartbeat under your cheek, hands running across bare skin, the quiet comfort of him â his home, his space. Him.Â
You choose white noise, static, empty promises, the comfort of being here as compared to anywhere else. Maybe tomorrow it will all matter. But not tonight.
still trying to drag this one back to your home page because I like it
7.11
o⌠hiiiiiii :]]]]]
lonely hearts club
You kiss her forehead and pull Steve up from the couch, putting your jacket on and tossing him his. âOur Valentineâs day wouldnât be the same without someone crying or throwing up. Weâre going. Dinner can wait.â Steve wraps an arm around your waist. âSheâs right. This is just tradition for us. A sacred thing we look forward to every year.â âYou two confuse me so much.â Nancy laughs wetly, overwhelmed by your kindness. âWe get that a lot.â Steve kisses your temple. âCâmon, angelface. The lesbians need us.â
Summary: ten valentines days with steve. some years it's romantic, some years it's heartbreaking, but for better or worse, he's your forever valentine.
Rating: general, some swearing
Warnings: swearing, fem!reader, use of y/n, mentions of vomit, pregnancy, cheating (steve doesnt cheat)
Words: 11.9k
Before you swing in: happy valentines day !! is this a day late ? sure. but we're going to ignore that ! heres a cute little fic of valentines day with steve throughout the years. joe touring really influenced this because i made steve a rockstar but honestly it fit tbh. anyways, hope you enjoy !
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Somehow itâs always Steve who you spend Valentineâs day with.
In high school itâs because of academic obligations. Youâre student body president and Steve is the president of the key club. Each year when February rolls around, the two of you are responsible for hanging pink streamers in the gym and selling enough tickets to afford a decent DJ.
Thanks to the infectious Valentineâs day yearning for love and potential makeouts under the bleachers, the Lonely Hearts dance always manages to draw in a crowd. That, and Steve promises that anyone who buys a ticket is guaranteed a dance with him.
Itâs gross and highly exploitative. And also quite brilliant.Â
You never cash in your ticket, though. While Steve spends the night spinning around girls dressed in pinks and reds and whites, youâre manning the punch bowl to make sure no one spikes it.
Each year, Steve finds a way to sneak gin into the cherry liquid behind your back.
âIâd stop serving little Benny there that punch of yours.â Steve slides next to you, dressed in all black with a rose pinned to his ribbed vest. He reeks, a terrible concoction of every perfume worn by the girls heâs spent all night with.Â
Benny, a small, frail fourteen year old with eyes too big for his comically small glasses, hiccups. His hand is extended towards you, empty cup waiting for more. His face is flushed and he sways ever so slightly.
You sigh. âHow much gin did you pour in this time, Harrington?â
âAn entire bottle.â
âI hate you, you know.â
Steve laughs. âNot my fault that you never catch me.â
Pinching the bridge of your nose, you glare at him. âI still hate you.â Then, remembering that a severely intoxicated Benny is still waiting for his drink, you gently tap the kidâs arm. âWhy donât you go sit in a corner, buddy?â
Benny hiccups again and stumbles away. Steve snickers, but his laughter turns into a yelp of pain when you kick him in the shin. âDonât you have girls to dance with?â
âNot if you keep kicking me like that,â he winces, rubbing his quickly bruising injury. âJesus, are those heels made of steel?â
âWhy are you still talking to me?â
âCanât a guy talk to his most consistent girl?âÂ
A snort masks the reddening of your cheeks. âReal flattering, Harrington.â
âIâm serious!â Steve nudges his shoulder against yours. Heâs smiling wide at you, charming as ever. âYou realize this is like, our third year spending Valentineâs day together, right?â
You roll your eyes. âWeâre only spending it together for a school dance.â
âStill makes you my longest running Valentine, Y/N.â He winks, smug, and you want to stain his pretty face with the cherry red of the punch before you. Heâs close to you now, close enough that you can smell his expensive cologne under all the perfume that taints it.
Suddenly your mouth goes dry. You look up at him and find that heâs already staring down at you. He doesnât move, doesnât shy away from the proximity that only seems to be growing smaller and smaller between you.
âSteve!â Heather Morgan stomps over, the ruffles of her lilac dress swishing with her forceful steps. She stops in front of you and him, though she doesnât bother to acknowledge you. âI thought I was guaranteed a dance?â
Three Valentineâs days with Steve Harrington, countless prom committee meetings and club organization conferences, shared lunch periods and classes, all have led to the intimate knowledge of the lines of his face and how every miniscule twinge of muscle reveals everything heâs feeling.
The forced smile that he gives Heather, eyebrows drawn together and eyes dim, is nothing like the bright and overwhelming smile he gave you only moments ago.
âYouâre absolutely right.â Steve holds his hand out to the girl and walks towards her. âWith all the hard work Y/N put into this dance, itâd be a shame if I let it go to waste and not abide by my promise.â
Your cheeks burn at the indirect compliment and Heather simply rolls her eyes. She yanks Steveâs arm and he gives you one last weary, yet shy and gentle, smile thatâs etched alongside his freckles and moles.Â
â
After graduating and moving to Chicago for college, you figure that maybe your first Valentineâs day in a big city will be spent with someone who doesnât get freshmen drunk and dance with demanding girls.Â
Then, your first week in intro to philosophy, you meet Oliver.Â
He enters five minutes late, out of breath and frantic, and blindly throws himself into the first seat he finds. In his rush, he doesnât see you until heâs thrown his jacket off and hears your quiet, âouch.â
âOh, my god.â His blue eyes are wide as he stares at you in horror, taking in the scene before him. Heâs completely thrown his jacket on top of you. âI-I am so sorry!â
His British accent nearly sends your brain reeling. Oliver is tall, his black hair makes his skin appear almost luminescent, and thereâs a dimple in his cheek that softens the harshness of his accented vowels.Â
âItâs fine,â you shrug the jacket off, too shy to say much else. Heâs arguably the most perfect man youâve ever met and itâs eight in the morning and youâre not quite sure if this is a dream. âJust⌠caught me by surprise?â
âChrist, Iâm genuinely so sorry.â He runs a hand through his hair. âI-I overslept and I only just switched into this class quite literally twelve hours ago andââ
âTop row,â your professor clears her throat, glaring at you and Oliver. âIs Aristotle really so interesting to you that you decide to interrupt my class in glee?â
Youâre beet red, frozen in shame and fear, but Oliver simply laughs and ducks in head. âMy apologies, Miss. Please, continue.â
Even the professor is charmed by his accent, and she shakes her head with a slight chuckle. She carries on with the lecture and Oliver is quiet next to you. You donât speak for the rest of class, but during the last five minutes, a note slides across your desk.
Coffee?Â
â Oliver (the dunce who threw his jacket on you)
A second coffee date follows the first. Then a third. A fourth. A fifth and sixth until they slowly turn into dinner dates. Sneaking into each otherâs apartments when your roommates arenât home. Kissing as you lazily study together in bed.Â
Late January comes and you think that youâve finally, finally, found someone to spend Valentineâs day with. Someone real and yours and lovely.Â
Oliver tells you to meet him at his apartment at 7:30 for dinner. Heâs promised you homemade roast, a recipe from his mother. Valentineâs day will be a quiet dinner with only candlelight as your company. No streamers or spiked punch; itâs everything you couldâve ever wanted.
âThe potatoes need a few more minutes, then we can eat.â Oliver kisses your forehead as he wipes his hands with a towel. The kitchen is warm, the smell of herbs and garlic infiltrate the air. On the counter the beef is resting, its aroma enough to make your mouth water.
You take a sip of wine. âThank god.â
âHungry, are we?â
âA home cooked meal by my hot boyfriend?â You raise your glass. âOf course Iâm hungry!â
Oliver laughs, kissing you again. âWell, good thing I have all night to feed youââ
The front door slams, startling the two of you, and someone calls out, âSorry! Sorry, please ignore me!â
Your fingers tighten around the stem of your wine glass hearing their voice.
Oliver groans, âone second, babe.â He leaves your side, but you donât follow, too afraid to face whatâs waiting for you on the other side of the wall.
âI thought I told you I had the apartment tonight?â You hear Oliver hiss at the intruder.
âYou did! I just-I kinda left my guitar here and Robin will kill me if Iââ
âHurry up!â
âWhat, your date canât wait five seconds?â A laugh, pleased with his own joke. You close your eyes, imagining the scrunch of his nose and tilt of his lips; you havenât forgotten the details of his face, even after months of not seeing him.Â
Oliver mumbles something and you strain your ears to listen. He sounds upset, anxious, arguing with the other person in the room, and something akin to unease creeps into your stomach.Â
âRelax, man. Just go finish that bizarre British dinner for Bianca.â
Silence.Â
You set down the wineglass and finally walk into the living room. The click of your heels is the only evidence of life within the apartment. Oliver stands near the door. His eyes are closed, he doesnât want to face you just yet.
Steveâs back is turned to you. His posture is relaxed, natural. He isnât aware of what heâs just undone.Â
âLong time no see, Harrington.â Your arms are crossed, shielding yourself from whatâs to come. Your voice sounds more confident than you feel. âI guess youâre the roommate I never got to meet.â
He spins around quickly, almost falling over, recognizing your voice immediately. His childish stumbling tells you that he almost doesnât want to believe it. When Steveâs eyes land on you, they soften, warm brown filling with fondness once more.Â
âY/N!âÂ
Steve steps forward as if to hug you, but then seems to remember where he is, what he had previously been talking about with Oliver. He stops, the fondness in his eyes diminishing to confusion, then slowly to anger.Â
âYouâre⌠not Bianca.âÂ
âEvidently not.â Your laugh is bitter.Â
Steve narrows his eyes at Oliver. âWhat the hell, man? You told me you were dating some chic named Bianca.â He points a bewildered finger at you. âThis is Y/N.â
âIn my defense,â Oliver sighs tiredly, clapping his hands together in a defeated manner. âI didnât think youâd know either one of them, so. This is just brilliant.â
âAre you dating them both?â Steveâs eyes bulge out of his head. If you werenât on the brink of crying and throwing up, youâd laugh at his poor state of shock.Â
âThatâs how cheating works, Steve.â You say weakly.
Oliver tries to say something, but heâs drowned out by Steveâs yelling. âAre you fucking serious?â
âSteveââ He tries again.
âNo! I-I was unknowingly an accomplice in your cheating?â
âI did try to hide them both from youââ
âYouâre such a jackass! I thought the British were supposed to be posh and all that-that bloody bullshit!â
You touch the back of Steveâs elbow. Youâre mortified and embarrassed and you really want to cry right now. No words come out. Your mouth wonât open. All you can do is hope that your touch is enough.
Immediately Steve stops yelling. He tugs you against his chest, understanding everything the touch meant. He doesnât care that itâs been six months since heâs seen you or that you were never particularly close in the first place. He wipes the tears that have started to fall from your eyes with a tenderness you didnât know was innate within him.Â
âIâm taking you home,â he says, voice barely above a whisper. âGo get your things, alright?â
Weak and numb, you do as youâre told.
âY/N, waitââ Oliver tries to reach out for you.
Steve steps between you. The look on his face is violent, almost frightening. Youâve never seen him like this. âDonât.â
Oliver stumbles back. Itâs enough of a distraction for you to quickly grab your purse and keys, vision blurry from tears as your body shakes. Every nerve, every fiber of your skeletal body is screaming at you to run.Â
When youâre ready, Steve uses his body to prevent Oliver from looking at you. His hands are gentle as he guides you to his car. He whispers reassurances, rubs circles into your back, and allows you to cry the entire way home.Â
It doesnât surprise you when Steve doesnât leave after parking in front of your apartment. It also doesnât surprise you when he walks you to your door and lets himself in.Â
âStay here,â he all but shoves you onto the couch before making his way to your kitchen. He walks through the apartment as if heâs done so his entire life. âIâll be right back.â
âWhat are youââ
âLess talking, more crying!â
You curl yourself into a small ball, too tired to argue with Steve. While you have no idea what the hell heâs doing, youâre relieved that your roommate, Jane, is out with her boyfriend for the night.
At least someone is having a happy Valentineâs day.
Steve returns with two pints of ice cream and spoons. Heâs already opened one of them and hands it to you as he plops onto the couch. âFigured youâd have a stash.â
The ice cream he hands you is your favorite flavor. You donât remember ever telling him this. âHow did youââ
âThis is our fourth Valentineâs day in a row, Y/N,â Steve pokes your side. âWhen are you gonna stop questioning my loyalty to our sacred tradition?â
Mouth cold from ice cream and face hot from crying, Steve manages to pull a laugh out of you. Itâs feeble and small and more of a grimace than something joyous, but itâs more than you ever thought was possible.
Steve laughs with you, knocking his own pint of ice cream against yours. âTo Valentine's day, angelface.â
âTo Valentineâs day,â you sniff, laughing again. The moment is bizarre and not at all how you envisioned spending the day, but somehow itâs wonderful and reminiscent of the years before. Thereâs only one thing missing. âI miss the pink streamers.â
âIâll hang some up next year.â Steve promises, winking at you as he always seems to do, falling back in familiarity.Â
You rest your head against the couch, warm, and hum thoughtfully. Steve always keeps his promises, and you can almost envision the messily strewn up streamers and tacky holiday decorations he would find and insist on using. The apartment would be full of light and warmth, and the thought makes you smile. Â
âIâd like that.â
âÂ
Inexplicably, Steve becomes your best friend.
He all but declares Oliver dead to him and refuses to step foot in their apartment unless itâs to eat or sleep. He cuts off all contact with the guy without even blinking. You try telling Steve that he doesnât have to jeopardize his relationship with his roommate and he scoffs at you.
âIâm giving that motherfucker the coldest shoulder known to man, Y/N. Whether you like it or not.â
And there isnât anything else to talk about, really.Â
Slowly Steve starts spending all his time at your apartment to avoid his, and you find yourself actually enjoying his company. He doesnât stray far from your room and he always brings over extra napkins from the restaurant he works at, saving you an extra five dollars a week in household supplies.
Plus, Steve introduces you to his coworker Robin, and sheâs so enthralling and chaotic and vibrant that itâs only natural that when she becomes your best friend, Steve does, too.Â
Spring semester ends and Jane announces that sheâs moving out to live with her boyfriend come summer. The first person you call is Steve. He moves in a week later.Â
âHave you looked over the sheet music yet?â Robin has her legs tossed over your lap as the two of you sit on the couch. Steve sits on the floor, leaning his head against the couch, his hair tickling the bare skin of your leg.Â
Youâre watching some movie that Steve had been dying to see. Itâs Valentineâs day and heâs begged you to let him watch some cheesy romance movie he saw an ad for. He claims itâs to get into the holiday spirit, but you know itâs because he has a crush on Patrick Swayze.
Robin tagged along because she has a crush on Jennifer Grey.
âHey, doofus!â She throws popcorn at Steveâs head when he doesnât respond to her question.Â
âCan you at least aim for my face?â He flicks the popcorn out of his hair, cringing. âThe butter makes my hair feel gross.â
You ruffle the locks, shaking his head in the process and he swats you away, albeit without any cruelty or malice. âCould be from all that hairspray you drown it in.â
âIâm with Y/N on this one,â Robin leans forward, invading Steveâs space with ease. âAnyways, did you read the music or not? Kelly wants your opinion before our gig tonight.â
âWhy does she care what I think?â
âBecause youâre the lead singer?â Robin looks at you. âDo you think all that hairspray has rotted his brain?â
You shrug. âProbably.â
Steve flips the both of you off and you giggle together at his annoyance. Ever since meeting Robin, making Steveâs life as miserable as possible has become your favorite thing to do together.Â
Robin then asks again about the song and she and Steve fall into a conversation about Kelly and her obsession with their other bandmate Connor and whether or not the song is actually good or if itâs just another attempt for her to win him over.Â
You watch them talk with a lazy smile. They become so animated when they discuss music, and you admire how well they work together. It doesnât surprise you that they formed a band together after only being friends for two days. They take music seriously, obsess over it in a way you donât think youâll ever quite understand, but that you will always admire.
âYouâre coming to our gig tonight, right?â Steve suddenly turns to you, eyes pleading and hopeful.Â
âWhere is it again?â
âThe Vexture. We go on at ten.â
Robin has turned her hopeful eyes to you as well and you shift uncomfortably. The Vexture is a grungy club thatâs always packed with people looking for someone to call their own, and given the fact that itâs currently Valentineâs day, itâll only be worse.
The thought makes you nauseous.Â
Steve sees you grimace and he immediately throws himself into your lap. âNo. Absolutely not. You have to come.â
âI havenât even said anythingââ
âYou were going to bail!â
âIâI wasnât!âÂ
Robin pinches your cheek. âYouâre a terrible liar, dear.â
You try to argue but Steve covers your mouth. You thrash underneath him, completely opposed to his body weight on you and his grimy hands covering your mouth, but heâs freakishly strong and Robin is a traitor who helps him hold you down.
âLook, Y/N.â Steveâs hair falls in your face. âWe all know that last year was rough.â
âFuck Oliver!â Robin shouts, wringing her hands together as if envisioning choking him.Â
âWhat she said. Anyways, you took a hard hit. Itâs understandable. But I refuse to let you spend Valentineâs day all alone, alright? You havenât dated anyone in months. Youâre coming tonight.â
You want to bite him, to kick him off and pinch his skin, but you know heâs right. Deflating, you cross your arms and reluctantly nod.Â
Steve and Robin cheer, jostling you around, and despite the annoyance and fear youâre feeling, you canât help but laugh at their childish joy.Â
âLove the enthusiasm, but can you guys get off me now?â You croak out in between laughs.Â
They scramble off the couch and Robin helps you up. She fixes your hair and kisses the tip of your nose. âWe have three hours to make you irresistible tonight.â
âIâm not dressing upââ
âYou have no free will when it comes to me.â Robin smiles wickedly and grabs your hand, pulling you to your room, having long forgotten about the movie thatâs still playing in the background.
âCan I join?â Steve calls after the two of you.
Robin slams the door in his face.
The Vexture is loud and overflowing with people by the time you get there. The lights are dimmed and Robin has to hold your hand as she guides you through the crowd. Since theyâre performing, theyâre allowed to cut the long lines and are able to get you the best seats in the house: backstage.
âYou made it!â Kelly throws her long and lithe arms around you. She smells of vanilla and honey and her hair is tied in loose knots. Glitter adorns her eyelids and pink hearts dot her cheeks.Â
âIâm being held against my will,â you shout into her ear, hugging her tightly. âBut Iâm here.â
Connor pats your back and chuckles. Heâs matching Kellyâs heart theme with a pink heart painted on his own cheek. âWell, at least youâll have a good time!â
Steve hands him a guitar and checks his hair in the mirror. Robin dressed him in a white button down and demanded that he leave the first four buttons undone. The exposed strip of skin from the base of his neck to the swell of his chest burns your lips.Â
âWe ready?â Steve pulls you by the waist, flush against him, and winks at his bandmates.Â
Kelly and Robin cheer and Connor slams his drumsticks together. A cheer of your own tumbles from your lips, allowing your body to lean against Steveâs, and his fingers dig into your side as his chest rumbles with pleasure.Â
The crowd erupts when they get on stage. They all get into their places. Robin with her keyboard. Kelly and the bass. Connor behind his drum set. And Steve, front and center of the stage, smiling into the mic as his fingers pick at his guitar.Â
âHowâs everyone doing tonight?â Heâs a natural on stage. People scream his name and he plays into it with such confidence and charm. Steve smirks, knowing he has the audience in the palm of his hand. âThatâs what I like to hear!â
He plays the first few notes of the song theyâre starting with tonight. Easy and light. Heâs setting the audience up, tempting them, leaving them wanting more.Â
Steve grabs the base of the microphone and tilts his head at the crowd. âWhoâs here with their Valentine tonight?â
Almost everyone cheers and whistles. Hands get thrown into the air and lovers kiss the smiles off each otherâs face.Â
âHell yeah!â Steve laughs, high on the energy in the room. He plays a few more notes, turns his head away from the crowd as he does so. You watch him, curious, and find that heâs looking at you.Â
When he has your attention, Steve laughs again and goes back to the mic. Heâs smiling wide, cheeks pink. âYou know, Iâm also here with a Valentine tonight.â
The audience gasps and cheers and claps for him. Robin wolf whistles, loud and obnoxious, teasing eyes looking only at you. Kelly snickers and Connor points one of his drum sticks at you, clutching his heart dramatically.
The apples of your cheeks pinch together a glorious red and Steve canât take his eyes off you. His eyes, soft as they always are when he looks at you, are like molten earth. He smiles into the mic again, unable to look away from you.
âThis is our fifth Valentineâs day together,â he tells the crowd, smiling so much heâs almost slurring his words. âI kinda hope that this angelface will always be my Valentine.â
Robin whistles again and the roar of the Vexture is so loud now that you canât hear anything besides the blood rushing in your head. Steve screams along with the crowd and Connor counts the band in and thereâs music all around you and dancing and Steveâs sweat drips down his chest and thereâs a burning deep within your stomach.
Heâs beautiful.Â
You hope that heâll always be your Valentine, too.
âÂ
Sophia enters your life early junior year. You find her in your kitchen one morning wearing one of Steveâs old t-shirts, and you make her a cup of coffee.
Sheâs nice. Her hair is bronzy and she has incredible green eyes and an angelic laugh. She studies English and sheâs the only other person besides your classmates who has read Plato, so youâre honestly quite fond of her, and you can see how Steve falls for her hard and fast.Â
Robin, however, has other thoughts.
âI donât trust her.â She says one day in January. Steve is at Sophiaâs, so you invited Robin over to bake cookies and watch the latest episode of a show you both enjoy.Â
You frown at her. âWhy not? I think Sophia is nice.â
âEver notice how the only way we can all collectively describe her as is nice?â Robin shivers. âWhat kind of psycho only has one personality trait?â
Well. There isnât a lot you can argue with there. Sure, everyone who has met Sophia has liked her, but when you think about it, Robinâs right. Theyâve all described her as nice, maybe quiet, but always nice.
âI think youâre just overprotective of Steve.â You try to defend. You like Sophia. Sheâs become a very loose, very distant, acquaintance. âJust give her some time.â
âTheyâve been dating for months now, Y/N. She creeps me out.â
âSophia isnât some off putting creature, Robinââ
âGuys!â Steve barrels through the front door. You and Robin both scream, but he ignores your terror and throws himself at the two of you. âHow much do you guys love me?â
Robin responds with, âhow much money do you want?â while you reply, âdepends on the day.â
Steve breathes heavily, grasping your hand. âI need you guys to please, please do me the biggest favor.â
âDid you kill someone?â You pull your hand away, weary of the scene before you.
âWhat? No! I justââ Steve inhales sharply. âItâs Sophia.â
âI knew it!â Robins screeches, but you jump and cover her mouth. She tries to scream through your silencing, but her words are muffled and jumbled.Â
You smile at Steve awkwardly. âDonât mind her. Whatâs going on with Sophia?â
âShe wants to go on a double date for Valentineâs day.â You and Robin stare at him as if heâs insane, and Steve groans. âLook, I know it sounds crazy, alright? But she-uh. I guess sheâs had some shitty Valentineâs days in the past and thought itâd be better if we had other people with us? As a safeguard?â
âThatâsâŚâ Concerning, you want to say, but Steve is staring at you, pleading, and you really donât feel like dealing with his anxious monologues. âInteresting.â
He rubs his face. âItâs insane, I know, but I just⌠I really like this girl, you know? So if one of you could justââ
âIâm out.â Robin raises her hands and you shoot her an incredulous look. âIâm sorry, Y/N, but I actually have plans this year and I really donât feel like spending them with Steve.â
âAnd you think I donât have plans?â You ask them, offended, and Steve looks at the ground and Robin suddenly finds the tile very interesting. âOkay. At least pretend that I have some dignity.â
âIâm sure you have a lot of dignity, angelface.â Steve tries to amend. âAnd youâd have even more dignity if you went on a double date with me and Sophia. Iâll even find someone to be your date!â
In theory, it sounds like your worst nightmare. Spending a night with a loved up Steve and Sophia while youâre with some guy you met only hours ago. All because Steveâs girlfriend doesnât feel comfortable enough spending Valentineâs day alone with him.
But Steve has had to hold your hand through a nasty breakup and other horrific dating exploits since then. Heâs held your hair up when youâve been sick. Makes you your favorite snacks during busy exam seasons. He cleans your room when he knows youâre exhausted.Â
Steve is your best friend. The least you can do is this.Â
âFine,â you finally give in. âBut the guy better be hot.â
The guy Steve finds you is, in fact, incredibly hot. His name is Max and he meets you and Steve outside the restaurant dressed in a well tailored suit.Â
âWhereâd you find this guy?â You whisper to Steve while Max isnât looking.
âHe knew Connor in high school.â He whispers back. âMakes a lot of money. Works in finance.â
Your mouth drops, but you quickly cover it up when Max opens the door for you and Steve. Heâs a perfect gentleman and rests his hand on the small of your back. âYou guys been to this restaurant before?â
âA few times together, but I donât think my girlfriend Sophia has been here yet.â Steve sits down and grabs a menu before checking his watch. âActually, she should be here by now.â
Maxâs face twists slightly. âHer name is Sophia?â
âMax?â Sophia, rushing towards your table, stops and gasps out his name as if sheâs been stabbed.
âOh, dear.â You set down your menu. Something tells you that there wonât be any eating tonight.
âSophia?â Max nearly falls to his knees in front of her, eyes shining at the girl as if sheâs hung all the moon and stars with her delicate fingers.
They stare at one another, neither moving, and Steve looks between them with a bitter taste in his mouth. âSo⌠you guys know each other?â
Sophia winces and Max coughs.
You grab your purse. âSteve, why donât we head homeââ
âWhatâs going on here?â His voice is strained. He looks at Sophia and you see the upset he tries to suppress. The clench of his jaw and the furrow of his brow. âSoph, who is this guy?â
âHeâs no one, I promiseââ
Max steps forward. âWe dated for a few years.â
âYears?â Steve exclaims.
âBroke up on Valentineâs day last year, actually.â He looks at Sophia with a pained expression. âI⌠I missed you.â
Steve falls against his seat in disbelief. Sophia holds the base of her throat in a weak attempt to soothe herself.
âYouâre really not helping, Max.â You glare at him, rubbing your friendâs shoulder as he sits at the table, mourning. Steveâs mouth doesnât seem to be able to close and heâs looking at Sophia as if trying to silently plead with her to tell him that none of this is real.
Except is it, and Sophia closes her eyes. âI-I canât do this, Steve.â
Her apology sends the chair flying back as he stands abruptly, desperately reaching for her in the crowded restaurant while you and Max remain silent. âWait, canât we justââ
âI should go.â Sheâs crying and the green of her eyes are a startling shade of brilliance. She really is quite lovely; the beauty breaks your heart. Steve calls after her as she leaves.Â
You hold him back. He screams at you to let him go, but you know that this time you have to be the one to break his fall. To catch him as he caught you the year Oliver broke your heart. There are tears in his eyes and his hoarse voice begs the girl to stay, but sheâs long gone.Â
Max stands there in the wreckage. He doesnât know what to do or who to follow.Â
âJust go,â you tell him, pulling Steve back down to sit. He collapses into your side, too ashamed to cry and too exhausted to care. Heâs weak against you and your arms encase him. Max doesnât move, and your voice raises before you can stop it. âGo!â
He listens, and the other patrons in the restaurant watch as yet another person runs from your table. A waitress gives you a pitying smile that you donât reciprocate.
Steve hides his face in your neck and you gently cup his cheek to make him look at you. âHey,â you say when his eyes finally focus on you. âLetâs get you a drink, okay?â
He drops his head on the table with a defeated sigh. âGive me whatever liquor they got.â
âThe stronger the better?â
âYes.â
âComing right up.â You wave a waiter down and order four shots and two beers. Steve doesnât say anything while you order, but he does shift closer to you once the waiter is gone.
The buzz of the restaurant is low, though full of laughter and conversation. You sit with Steve, fingers stroking through his hair as his head remains on the table. He lost all sense of pride the moment he begged Sophia to stay, so he allows your nails to scratch his scalp.
Drinks get set on the table and Steve throws both of his shots back before you can even pick one of yours up. He wipes his mouth and cringes at the taste. You stare at him, slightly concerned. âAlright over there?â
âNeed more liquor.â
You stroke his cheek. âHow cute. You think Iâm going to let you drink your sorrows away.â
He bats your hand away. âI donât know if youâre all caught up, but I just got dumped on Valentineâs day, Y/N.â
âAnd?â You laugh at him. âThat happened to me too, buddy. Youâre officially a part of the lonely hearts club. Howâs it feel?â
Steve drops his head back onto the table. âIt feels like weâre fucking cursed.â
âIâll drink to that,â you clink your beer against his. âCheers.â
Itâs quiet for a while. You finish your shots and sip slowly at your beer. Steve remains hidden away at the table, refusing to sit up and face the reality of heartbreak. You allow him to take all the time he needs, replenishing his drinks when he runs low. Heâs quiet, but he knocks his knee against yours every time you squeeze his hand.Â
Iâm here.
Thank you.
The chatter in the restaurant dies down and you pay the tab and help carry Steve home. Heâs significantly more drunk than you are, and youâre relieved that you chose to eat somewhere close enough to walk. He stumbles the entire way home and you have to cling onto his hand so that he doesnât fall.
Steve drags your body onto the couch the second you open the apartment door. He collapses on top of you. His arms hold your waist and his nose presses against your neck. You bring your hands to his hair and sync your breathing with his.Â
âThink itâll always be like this?â Steve murmurs after a while. âYou and me and goddamn Valentineâs day?â
Six years of sharing the holiday together. Six years of being each otherâs person to spend the day with and draw cheesy cards for. Six years of laughter and tears and secret glances and inside jokes.Â
Six years, and yet it still doesnât feel like enough.
âWeâre best friends, Steve.â You whisper into his ear, lips brushing skin. âOf course itâll always be like this.â
He shivers at the sensation of your lips. Alcohol burns through his system. He finds himself upset that he drank tonight. He wonders what wouldâve happened had he not met Sophia. If he had taken you to the restaurant alone and left sober.
Steve wonders if he wouldâve kissed you then. If you wouldâve let him.
But he had met Sophia. Heâd taken you to the restaurant to have dinner with her. He got drunk tonight to forget the way she tasted. You walked him home because you couldnât trust him to take care of himself. And now heâs too afraid to kiss you because he knows it could ruin everything heâs so carefully built with you.
He falls asleep to your heartbeat.
âÂ
âWho gets married on Valentineâs day?â Robin tugs at her dress in disgust. âI mean, that should just be illegal.â
You help her fix her dress and shrug. âI donât know. I think itâs sweet.â
âThatâs because Steveâs walking you down the aisle tonight. Youâre biased.â
âHeâs the best man and Iâm the maid of honor,â you poke her stomach. âItâs quite literally tradition to walk down the aisle as a pair.â
Kelly, who has been fixing her makeup the entire conversation, peeks her head from behind the mirror. âTo be honest, Connor and I did intentionally plan for Steve to walk you down the aisle.â
Your jaw drops. âKelly!â
âThe two of you are just so cute!â She laughs. âYouâre two of our closest friends. We want whatâs best for you, so Connor and I figured weâd just give you guys a little push.â
Robin rolls her eyes. âBelieve me. Iâve been trying to get them together for years now. What is this, your eighth year of being each otherâs Valentineâs?â
Your head whips to her. âItâs only our seventh. And what do you mean youâve been trying for years?â
âIâm practically the reason Steve moved in with you. He wanted to live with me months before you asked him to move in. Naturally, Iâm a prophet, and I told him no. Now here you guys are, walking down the aisle together. Tada!â
âOh my god.â
âI mean, it worked!â Robin frowns. âWell. Sort of.â
Youâre speechless and Kelly takes pity on you. She walks over and rests a gentle hand on your shoulder. âY/N, I love you. Connor and Robin love you. Steve loves you. You know that, right?â
âIâŚâ Youâd be a liar if you said the thought never crossed your mind. Especially after the breakup with Sophia. Youâve always been close with Steve, but in the last year thereâs been this shift that you havenât been able to describe.
Thereâs coffee waiting for you every morning. He holds your hand and strokes his thumb against your palm. Steve ends up falling asleep in your bed most nights now, wrapped around you as his breath warms your skin. His own room has slowly been turned into a makeshift studio for his music.Â
Sometimes you catch Steve staring at you, and sometimes the heat of his gaze doesnât scare you.Â
But sometimes it does.
âWhy are we even talking about this?â You deflect, setting your eyes on Kelly and her gorgeous veil. âYouâre getting married in less than an hour. Canât we talk about that?â
âBabe, all Iâve done for the last year is talk about this goddamn wedding. Iâm the bride and right now I demand that we gossip.â
Robin laughs at you and youâre about to make up some excuse about needing to go organize the roses again when the brideâs door opens. Kelly yelps and covers her dress as you and Robin step in front of her to block the intruderâs view.
âRelax,â Steve holds his hands up. âItâs just me. Unfortunately, Iâm not the groom.â
Kelly shakes his head at him fondly. âWhat do you want, Steve?â
âConnor sent me here because apparently I lack the ability to shut the fuck up and it was stressing him out.â
You snort and Robin hunches over as she giggles. Kelly smirks. âYeah. I believe that.â
Steve sticks his tongue out at the three of you, and the conversation from earlier gets dropped. He helps you and Robin with the rest of Kellyâs makeup. He irons her dress, showers her with compliments, and your heart constricts every time he touches the edge of your silk dress with childlike wonder.Â
âYou look beautiful, Y/N.â He whispers when itâs just the two of you. The door to the aisle hasnât opened yet. The rest of the wedding party stands behind you, waiting.Â
A blush coats your cheeks. You loop your arm through his and bask in his fondness. âThank you,â your hand rests on his chest. âYou look quite handsome yourself.â
And he does. Steve is cruelly beautiful in his suit. His tie matches the lace of your dress and you want to pull the end of it and bring his lips to yours. He stares down at your lips and you wonder if heâs thinking about yours, before the music starts.
The door opens. Down the long, carpeted length of the church stands Connor. There are flowers everywhere and Steve grabs the hand that rests against his forearm. He squeezes it, takes a deep breath, and together you walk down the aisle.Â
During the wedding Robin cries. The vows are exchanged and she has to cover her mouth to contain the sobs that spill from her. Steve catches your eye from across the pew and the two of you smile at your friend, your love for her forming into one.Â
Sometime late into the night Steve finds you. He hands you a drink before promptly dragging you to the dancefloor. You protest, shy, but he doesnât listen.
âI told myself Iâd dance with the prettiest girl at this wedding, angelface. And it just so happens that that girl is you.â
You laugh at him, following his hands as he guides you through the motions of dancing. âDonât let Kelly hear you, otherwise sheâll strangle you.â
âLet her,â Steve spins you, eliciting more giggles to fall from your pretty lips. âIâll die a happy man now that Iâve danced with you.â
âThat was disgusting.â
âAnd charming. Donât forget charming.â He spins you again before bringing your bodies even closer together. âYou know what this reminds me of?â
You gaze up at Steve. âWhat?â
âThe Lonely Hearts dance.â
Exasperated laughter follows his confession. âYouâre really thinking about our high school dance right now?â
âWhy wouldnât I? Every year I was dying to dance with you.â Steveâs thumbs stroke up and down the sides of your waist. His grip on you tightens. His voice lowers and you recognize the adoration that paints his brown eyes. The air between you stills. Steve dips his head, his forehead brushes yours. âAnd now I finally got that dance.â
You donât breathe. If you do, youâre afraid that the exhale would shatter the fragility of this moment.Â
âWas it worth it?â You donât recognize your own voice and the breathy way it comes out. Your hands move up Steveâs chest and snake around his neck. His head knocks against yours, your noses centimeters apart, lips separated by inches.
You feel Steveâs smile more than you really see it. âYou tell me.â
He kisses you, cradling your body as if it were made to fit into the crevices of his palms. Lips move against lips and your skin hums at the sensation of finally welcoming him home. His skin greets you with a soft tenderness and your lips coat his mouth with sugary sweetness.
âGet a room!â Robin throws a napkin at the two of you, forcing you apart, and when you come up for air you see the biggest smile on her face.Â
You hide in Steveâs neck, embarrassed, though not enough to not leave small, fluttery kisses on every mole your lips can find. Youâre already addicted to feeling him shiver beneath you.
âSeems we have a wedding to plan for next year!â Connor raises his beer and points at you and Steve, cackling loudly.Â
Kelly is next to him and she kisses her husbandâs cheek and beams at him. âIt took âem long enough!â
âDo you guys mind?â Steve pulls you away from the dancefloor, glaring at his closest friends who all love him endlessly and whom he loves even more, and basks in your giggling as he whisks you away. âIâm trying to kiss Y/N here!â
âUse protection!â Robin calls out while Connor and Kelly whistle and cat call.Â
Steve finds an empty closet and no one can find you for the rest of the night. Kelly never lets you live it down, Connor commends you for the bravery, and Robin has to wipe away her tears.
âÂ
Your first semester of senior year, Steve and Robinâs band gets signed. The record label is apparently legendary because they collapse onto the ground screaming when they get the phone call. Twenty minutes later, Connor and Kelly are at your apartment screaming alongside them.
Two weeks later they book tickets to New York and you help Steve pack his bags. Everything happens so quickly and itâs almost nauseating trying to keep up.
âWeâre in the studio from nine to five every weekday, so Iâll call you every day at six.â Steve folds a pair of jeans and hands them for you to place in his suitcase. âWeekends Iâll call you at five so that we can eat dinner together.â
You give him an odd look. âDonât you want to go explore the city while youâre there?â
âI mean, sure. But I can do that during the day. The moment the clock strikes five or six, itâs my girlâs time.â
âSteveâŚâ Youâre so stupidly in love with him sometimes. âI donât want you worrying about me while youâre there. This is a huge opportunity for you.â
âWho said anything about worrying about you?â Steve walks up behind you and kisses your neck. âAngelface, Iâm worried I might die after the first week without you.â
Your hands brush through his hair. âYouâll be fine, Stevie. I guarantee that in five days tops youâll be having too much fun to miss me.â
âWrong. I will be talking everyoneâs ears off about you and will probably get banned from a lot of bars because of it.â
Sighing, you turn and face him, pressing a soft kiss to his brow. âSteve, itâs only for a few months. Each day weâre apart will be one day closer to being together.â
âHow about no days apart and every day together?â
You kiss him, slowly and drawn out, as if time is on your side and youâre in excess of it. Steve hums against you, tightening his arms in a lazy hug, and you know that youâll miss him forever.
The first few weeks are hard without Steve. Youâve never lived on your own before and youâve never really spent a day without him since you were eighteen. Now youâre twenty-one and thereâs no one to kiss you awake or make faces in the mirror with you as you brush your teeth.
Whatâs worse is that Robin is gone, too. And Kelly. And Connor.
Their absence makes you realize that you direly need other friends who arenât in a literal band together.Â
Steve keeps his promise and calls you every day. He always asks about how your day has been, he tells you every detail about his. He tells you that heâs started writing all his thoughts down in a notebook that he wants to tell you so that he doesnât forget, and it makes you ache even more.Â
The months pass by slowly. December drips into January and then February greets you with her winterâs kiss. Thereâs snow in Chicago and even more to come, and you know Steve will be excited to see it when he gets back.
Which coincidentally happens to be Valentineâs day.Â
And also the day you get violent food poisoning.Â
After months of being apart, the first time Steve sees you again is with your head in the toilet bowl, hacking up your lungs and dying.Â
âOh, Jesus.â He drops his bags and comes running over, immediately gathering your hair so that you donât get it dirty as yet another wave of nausea hits you.
âWelcome home.â you say in between bouts of bile. Truly, you think this is a new low that youâve reached. Here you are, deathly ill and incredibly sweaty, while your lovely boyfriend has just arrived home after months of missing each other. âSorry that you have to see this.â
Steve rubs your back and sits with you on the ground. âDonât be ridiculous. Even spilling your guts out I think youâre hot.â
âThatâs sweet,â you throw up again. âWould you be a dear and kill me now?â
He laughs, massaging your tender body, and doesnât once leave your side. He flushes the toilet for you when needed. He gets a rag and soaks it in cold water and rubs it across your forehead to help regulate your fever. He hums to you when your stomach twists in pain.Â
Eventually the nausea settles enough for you to ask Steve to carry you to bed. He does, and he sets you down gently before crawling in next to you. He fits your body against his, hand on your stomach as if he himself can ease its ache.Â
âIâm sorry,â your voice is raspy, the acidic bile still lingering. âIâm sure this isnât the grand reunion and Valentineâs day that you had in mind.â
âIâm laying in bed with you and you love me.â Steve kisses your overheated forehead. âThatâs all I ever want for Valentineâs day.â
Your eyes fall shut and you exhale shakily. âI just⌠I wanted our first Valentineâs to be special. I had it all planned out. I rented your favorite movie and bought all the ingredients to make the gnocchi you love so much, and then as I was folding the laundry I just-I died.â
âFood poisoning. Americaâs silent killer.â Your laugh rings in Steveâs ears and he smiles, kissing your face again and again and again. He runs his nose down your chin, brushes the hair out of your face. âBesides, this isnât our first Valentineâs. Iâm counting all the ones we spent together single and lonely whether you like it or not.â
âThe fifth one wasnât so bad,â you muse. You still remember the roar of the Vexture as Steve announced that you were his Valentine. âYou were annoyingly charming that night.â
âThat was me declaring my love for you, you know.â
You turn to him, startled. âPlease tell me youâre joking.â
âNope.â Steve clutches his chest. âThere I was, telling the love of my life that I wanted her to be my Valentine forever, and then in the end she friendzones me. Truly brutal stuff.â
âBut that was years ago! We were nineteen, thereâs no way in hell you were actually in love with me.â
He grabs your hand and kisses it. âY/N, Iâve been in love with you since we were fifteen. I was just waiting for you to like me back.â
The idea of Steve being in love with you since you were kids nearly sends you back to throwing up. Youâre overwhelmed by it. By the idea that someone couldâve loved you for as long as he has. That he still loves you now. For nearly a decade.
âY/N? You got all quiet over there. You alive?â Steve pokes your cheek and itâs then that you know that there was never anyone else for you. You were his from the moment he walked into student council and demanded cleaner mirrors in the menâs bathroom.
âI love you.â You tell him. Theyâre the only words created for what you have.Â
Steve scrunches his face in an endearing manner. âI love you, too.â
âNow tell me all about New York.â
And he does.
âÂ
Robin tells you that tour life is romanticized and that within the first week youâll strangle her and Steve to death, but you donât believe her. When you see the size of the bus the five of you will be staying in for months on end, you start to second guess what sheâs said.Â
âItâs⌠cozy?â
Connor huffs at you. âThatâs one way to look at it.â
âItâll be fun, guys!â You try again to make light of the situation, though really you also donât believe what youâre saying. âI mean, think about how much closer weâll be after this.â
âWerenât you a philosophy major?â Connor looks at you skeptically. âIsnât the whole schtick of those old white dudes pessimism?âÂ
Steve throws an arm around you. âShe graduated top of her class, actually. And yes. Those old white dudes loved being bitter bitches.â
âI think Y/Nâs right.â Kelly joins in now. âWeâre a family. It canât be that bad.â
âFamous last words.â Robin mutters.
They are, in fact, famous last words.Â
Connor learns that he gets car sick easily on day two. Kelly learns that she has a fear of car sickness on day three. Robin leaves her keyboard at one of the venues they play at the second week and doesnât realize it until youâre already at the next venue an entire state away. Steve loses his voice after the sixth show and spends the entire bus ride to the next venue sulking.
You, however, are honestly having a great time. You didnât get to travel with the band last year due to school, and now that youâve graduated, youâre enamored with seeing places that arenât native to Illinois or Indiana.Â
âSteve, if you gargle salt water in my ear one more time, I will shave your head in your sleep.â Robin threatens during week four. Her eye is twitching and you truly do believe that she has a razor hidden somewhere.
âI have to protect my voice.â He argues, pouring more warm water into a cup before mixing salt in. âI canât lose it again!â
âThat was a pretty rough show.â Connor says from his bunk. Being nearly 6â4, he barely even fits in it. His legs hang off awkwardly and heâs been complaining about his back for weeks now.
âI thought Robin sang pretty well.â Nancy, the bandâs tour photographer, says quietly from the makeshift kitchenette. She joined during the third show and you think Robinâs been in love with her since the fourth one.Â
âUh, thanks. I guess.â She squeaks out, hiding behind you in a not so subtle manner. You pat her hand, sympathetic.Â
Steve gargles and spits the water into the sink. âRobin has an incredible voice, I agree. But thatâs besides the point. Weâre on the clock full time, even if we donât have a show tonight.â
âAnd tell me, my dear wife, why we donât have a show tonight?â Connor sings to Kelly.
âWhy, my dear husband, I do believe itâs because itâs Valentineâs day and Stevie over here demanded the night off so that he can court our beloved Y/N.â
Steve rolls his eyes at them and you laugh. âIn our defense, we havenât exactly had a normal Valentineâs day together. Weâre in dire need of one normal night.â
Nancy tilts her head at you. âBut arenât you guys together?âÂ
âYeah, but we werenât for a while.â
âOne Valentineâs day Y/N found out her boyfriend was cheating on her, who also just so happened to be my roommate.âÂ
Robin throws her head back and shouts, âFuck Oliver!â And Connor and Kelly join.
âThanks, guys.â Steve turns back to Nancy. âAnother year I made Y/N go on a blind double date with me and a girl I was dating at the time. Turns out, the guy I brought for Y/N was also the ex boyfriend of my girlfriend. So that was fun.â
âOne year we actually walked down the aisle together. Before we were even dating.â Nancyâs eyes widen and you shrug at her. âWe were in the same wedding party.â
âHappy anniversary, babe.â Connor blows a kiss to Kelly and she catches it, blowing him one back.
âAnd last year I got horrendous food poisoning and Steve had to drive me to the hospital since I was so dehydrated. He cried filling out my paperwork.â
âI did.â
Nancy looks between you and Steve. âAnd this year, you guys willâŚ?â
âIâm taking Y/N out to a nice, totally normal and totally romantic dinner. Iâm going to wine and dine my girl and then weâre going to cuddle in our way too small bunk bed and sleep.â
You beam at everyone. âItâs a pretty good plan.â
Except you and Steve donât even make it to your reservation. Later that night, right before you call a taxi, Nancy bursts through the bus door with a frantic look in her eyes. You drop the phone and rush to her. âWoah, hey. Whatâs going on?â
âHave you seen Robin?â There are tear stains on her delicate face.Â
Steveâs body tenses. âLast time we saw her was when she left with you guys, why?â
âIââ A broken sob prevents Nancy from telling him anything else, and you take her into your arms.
You soothe her, your own worry for your friend setting your body on edge. Steve shares a look with you, both wondering what the hell is happening. Robin left with Nancy and the others hours ago to go check out some local bar, and now here Nancy is, crying in your arms, with Robin nowhere to be found.
âNance,â drying the girlâs tears, you try to get her to calm down enough to speak. âI need you to breathe with me, okay? Take a deep breath and then let it out slowly.â
You inhale, so does she, and after several seconds you exhale long and slow. Nancyâs breath stutters and her tears soak the white blouse she looks so delicate in, but still she breathes.
Steve stands over the two of you, arms crossed with his eyebrows pinched together in worry. He taps his foot and you know itâs taking everything within him not to tear down the entire town to find his best friend.
âWhat happened with Robin, Nance?â Steve gently asks her, crouching down to her eye level. âIs she okay? Are you okay?â
Nancy wipes her face and sniffs. She canât look at you or Steve. Her eyes face only the ground as she picks at her nails. âWe⌠We kissed.â
âThatâsâŚâ Steve looks at you, silently asking if he should be elated or concerned, and all you can do is shrug helplessly at him. âThatâs-thatâs great, right? I mean, you two were totally love at first sight. Like, Romeo and Juliet but without the, you know. Death. I mean, at least I hope thereâs no death, but seeing as youâre currently crying Iâm a little nervousââ
âWhat my boyfriend is trying to say is that weâre happy for you guys, but also a little concerned.â You interrupt Steveâs ramble. âWhat happened after the kiss?â
Nancy continues picking at her nails. Her crying has subsided but her face remains broken and anguished. Her eyebrows knit together and her mouth draws into a thin line. âI-I kissed her, and then she just⌠She ran.â
âShit,â you sigh, dropping your head.
Steve throws his own head back and curses as well. âAnother category five.â
âYup.â
Nancy turns to you. âCategory five? What the hell is that supposed to mean?â
You wince, grabbing her hand in hopes of quelling her sudden anger. âLook, Robin isâŚâ
âA gem.â Steve finishes for you, and you nod at him.
âSheâs my best friend, and sheâs incredibly brave and charismatic and bold. Iâve seen her punch men five times her size. She always speaks her mind and never takes no for an answer, but sheâs also vulnerable. She hides a lot behind her humor.â
âWhen I first met Robin, she was going through a pretty rough breakup.â Steve sits next to you and Nancy now. âAnd since then sheâs become the worst person imaginable when it comes to dating. She always freaks out and leaves the relationship before they can leave her. And a category five freakout is⌠bad.â
âWeâve only seen it once before with some girl she met at a gig a few years back. They kissed and Robin locked herself in the bathroom and refused to leave until the girl was gone.â You tuck Nancyâs hair behind her ear. âWe arenât telling you this to scare you, weâre telling you this because you clearly love Robin, and she loves you. Sheâs just⌠sheâs been hurt before.â
Nancy slouches on the couch. âBut I donât want to hurt her! I didnât even mean to kiss her, but she looked so pretty under the purple lighting and was laughing at some stupid joke I made and-and suddenly we were kissing and it was incredible and thenââ
âCategory five.â Steve mimes an explosion with his hands. You glare at him.
âHow about this, weâll find Robin for you and bring her back here. I think the two of you just really need to talk about this.â
Steve raises his hand. âI personally think they just need to makeout.â You elbow his side and he groans in pain. âYeah, okay. That was fair.â
âI canât ask you guys to do that.â Nancy sniffs. âYou were so excited for your date tonight and youâve already done enough.â
You kiss her forehead and pull Steve up from the couch, putting your jacket on and tossing him his. âOur Valentineâs day wouldnât be the same without someone crying or throwing up. Weâre going. Dinner can wait.â
Steve wraps an arm around your waist. âSheâs right. This is just tradition for us. A sacred thing we look forward to every year.â
âYou two confuse me so much.â Nancy laughs wetly, overwhelmed by your kindness.Â
âWe get that a lot.â Steve kisses your temple. âCâmon, angelface. The lesbians need us.â
Nancy nearly chokes on her laughter and you giggle as well. The bus door closes and itâs just open road before you. Youâre in the middle of Wisconsin with nothing but grass and dirt for miles ahead. Wherever Robin ended up running off to, you sincerely hope itâs close.
In the end, you and Steve end up walking nearly two miles to a nearby gas station and find Robin face deep in a pint of ice cream. Her cheeks are smeared in chocolate and her puffy eyes are red. The moment you find her, Steve throws himself into her arms and you hold them both as she starts to cry.
It takes several conversations, many tissues, and a few threats before youâre able to convince Robin to walk back to the bus with you. She freaks out the entire two miles and Steve has to fully pick her up at one point to prevent her from fleeing, but eventually youâre standing in front of the bus door with Robinâs iron grip on your hand.
âI-I canât do this.â She chokes out, short of breath as panic sets in again. âPlease donât make me do this.â
âYou can,â Steve pokes her cheek, though his hand rubs her shoulder with affection. âAnd you will.â
âWhat if she hates me now?â
You hook your chin over Robinâs shoulder, butting your head with hers. âThen weâll be here to catch you, dummy. But we wonât need to, because Nancy is currently pacing the bus waiting to kiss your pretty face again.â
Robinâs body tenses and she gets ready to run, but Steve swoops her into his arms and you yank the door open so that he can throw her inside. She screams, but you slam the door shut and Steve helps you keep it closed as her fists pound against it.
âLet me out!â Robin screeches, throwing her body against the door.
âKiss and make up! Those are the rules!â You scream back, clenching your teeth to keep your footing.Â
Robin screams again and Steve has to throw his entire body weight back to keep her inside, but eventually her anger exhausts her and soon thereâs only silence within the bus. You and Steve press your ears to the door, breaths held so as not to miss anything, and faintly, very faintly, you hear Nancyâs soft voice mixing with Robinâs embarrassed tears.
Stepping back, Steve holds his hand for you to high five, which you gladly accept. âGod, weâre great.â
âThe best matchmakers this town has ever seen.â
Steve tugs you against him and holds you close to his chest, inhaling your scent and humming in content. You melt into him and he holds you for a while, just the two of you, swaying softly together as the gentle February wind dances around you.
âI think year nine went pretty well.â You murmur into Steveâs skin.
He buries his face in your hair. âI have a feeling year ten will be even better.â
â
The bandâs breakout album, Angelface, becomes an instant success. It tops every chart, critics praise it, fans scream along to all the songs, and Steve claims that youâre the reason for it.
âI name an album after you and suddenly it sells a million copies overnight.â He nips at your neck, humming when you writhe beneath him. âYouâre my good luck charm, angelface.â
You want to tease him and call him crazy, but when his hand comes up to massage your breast through its thin fabric, your moans drown out the noise in your mind.Â
Connor and Kelly buy a house with a studio built inside of it. The band rehearses there every day in preparation for their next album. Robin brings Nancy along, the two of them always giggling quietly to themselves in between sessions. Nancy becomes the bandâs official photographer. All the photos are of Robin.Â
Steve surprises you one day with the keys to your own home. He tells you that the second the money from Angelface was his, he went out and bought the house the next day. The home is much bigger than the apartment you once shared together, though small enough to still feel intimate. There are mahogany floors and a bay window in your bedroom and you couldnât be more in love with it.
February comes and Steve sits you down at the kitchen table with a pen and paper in front of him.Â
âAlright,â he says, setting his hands on the table with an air of authority to him. âValentineâs day is approaching. We know what that means.â
âThat disaster is ahead.â You nod solemnly, following along.
âExactly, so hereâs what weâre going to do. Iâm going to make you a fancy dinner without anything that can possibly get you sick. No eggs. No meat. No dairy. Nothing prone to yacking.â
âNot sure what that leaves you with, but Iâm listening.â
Steve writes everything down. âThere will be only electric candles because Iâm now terrified that the only disaster left is a house fire, and I spent a concerning amount of money on this house.â
âI fear the same.â
âPerfect. Iâll get us some wine and a movie to rent. Our landline will be turned off so that absolutely no one can contact us. Weâre going AWOL here, Y/N. Desperate times call for desperate measures.â
You lean forward and place your head in your hand. âWhat if Robin tries calling, though?â
âI love her, but we landed her a girlfriend last year. She owes us this Valentineâs day.â
âTouchĂŠ.âÂ
Steve looks down at his list. âOkay. Am I missing anything?â
You think for a moment. âNo, I think thatâs all, just donât forget I have a doctorâs appointment that day so I wonât be home until a bit later.â
âAlready accounted for that. Iâll be buying undisclosed decorations for the house to surprise you with.â
âUndisclosed? How many spy movies did you watch before this?â
âDonât worry about it.â
True to his word, Steve does decorate the house while youâre gone. You get back from your appointment and your home is an explosion of pinks and reds. There are streamers everywhere and a small disco ball hangs from your living room ceiling. Music from your high school years plays softly in the background and the house smells of acidic tomato and garlic.Â
âSteve?â You call out, breathless as you walk towards the kitchen. Heâs spared no expense. The floor is littered with roses and thereâs wine waiting for you on the table with small electric candles flickering in the darkness.
âDo you like it?â You turn around and find Steve holding a bouquet of roses, dressed in a familiar tuxedo. Itâs all black and his ribbed vest has the same rose pinned to it that it did back when you were in high school trying to stop him from pouring gin into the punch.Â
Your heart beats wildly and an overwhelming mix of emotions simmer in your stomach. âYouâreâŚâ
âThe best boyfriend in the world? I know.â Steve grabs the wine and pops it open, pouring you a glass. He hands it to you with a wink, but you donât accept the drink. He tilts his head in confusion. âI thought you loved red wine?â
âI-I do.â Youâre quick to reassure him. âBut after my doctorâs appointment today, Iâm not so sure I should have any.â
Your heartbeat spikes again and Steve sets the glasses down immediately. Heâs at your side a second later, worry for you written all over his handsome face. âYou said it was just a regular checkup. Are you alright? Are you sick again? I-I can drive you to the hospital, just let me turn off the stove before we actually do have a house fireââ
âSteve,â your voice cracks with love and warmth. He looks up at you, pink lips parted in a small frown that you want to kiss better. âI canât have wine for nine months.â
âNine..? Thatâs an oddly specific number.â His lips turn downwards. âIs it like, some type of allergy now, orâ?â
âNo, Stevie.â You cup his face with a smile. Grabbing his hands, you bring them to your stomach. His palms lay flush against your abdomen, warm, and something in his face shifts. His eyes widen slightly, soft air escapes him, and your face burns from how wide you smile. âIt isnât an allergy.â
âYouâreâ?â He doesnât want to say it, afraid that if he does, that if heâs wrong, his heart would be broken in an irrevocable way.
You nod, brushing his hair back. âIâm about ten weeks along.â
Steve sinks to his knees, dropping his head to your stomach and staring at it with an innocent gaze of love. His eyes fill with wonder, with tears. âY/N.â
He whispers your name like a sacred prayer, lips pressing to the flesh over and over again as your fingers tangle in his hair and your joy coats his skin.Â
âI know weâre young, butâŚâ You whisper down to him. âI want this. I really, really want this.â
âI want this, too.â Steve slides his hands up your body and stands, cradling you in his arms while his face buries itself into your neck. You can feel his tears wet your skin, the slight trembling of his body. âGod, I want this.â
Your lips ghost the shell of his ear, down the veins in his neck, the crest of his collarbones and the lines of his jaw. Steve pulls you, closer and closer and closer, until your skin is his and his breath is yours.Â
âHappy Valentineâs day, Stevie.âÂ
Steve smiles down at you. His face has changed since you first met ten years ago. The lines around his eyes have deepened slightly, his boyish smile is now more charming than endearing, and his jaw has become more defined.
His eyes, however, are the same eyes you fell in love with all those years ago. The toffee brown still reminiscent of the student council meetings you always bickered in. Theyâre still soft when he looks at you, open and lovely as they were at the Lonely Hearts dance.Â
There is still so much love that is embedded in Steveâs hand woven features for you. His hands stroke your stomach and your lips are against his. The excess of love is syrupy thick.Â
All it took was ten Valentineâs days.
-
â writing masterlist
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â please feel free to like, reblog, and comment. i adore hearing from you guys :)
gotta run
via djotimee on Twitter (X)
guess who
via isabellegawkowski on insta
omg post prison Spencer and concussed!shy girlâŚ.I would go feral I fear
âIâm gonna be sick again,â you whine, covering your eyes with both of your hands. The nausea roils and the pain in your head reaches a new crescendo. You moan without thinking about it, worse when someone grabs a hold of you from behind.Â
âDonât bend!â he says, not shouting but not happy with you either. âYou arenât going to be sick again if you stay sat up. I know it hurts, but youâre making it worse.âÂ
Spencerâs strict voice isnât one youâre used to. An embarrassed flush rushes over you, quick to cry âcos youâve wanted to for hours.Â
âSorry,â you mumble tearily, slouching back into your seat with a wince.Â
âOh, angel, please donât cry again.âÂ
âIâm not.â
âIâm not angry with you, I just need you to listen, because being sick like this isnât good for you, and youâre gonna feel sick again if you bend over. Itâs your head, angel. Itâs the inertia.âÂ
You shuffle across the couch to flop against his chest. Itâs a desperate move; if he doesnât hug you, youâre going to start crying for sure, so youâre begging him to hold you without having the courage to say it out loud. âSorry,â you say.Â
âItâs okay.â Hands wrap around you immediately. âDonât be sorry. Just stay like this for a bit, until the nausea stops. Please.âÂ
Youâd love to stay there. You can smell the black coconut soap he uses on his skin, rubbing your nose into his neck and taking obvious breaths.Â
Spencer pats your back, saying, âGood, take a breather.â He sounds surprised, but when you glance up at him he isnât panicking or moving. Heâs closed his eyes. His hand is on the small of your back. Â
You hit your head so hard the very first thing that happened was the wave of vomiting. It just⌠didnât end. And for a while all you could think about was nothing, just being sick and crying and a hand on your back, eventually traded for colder ones, bright white lights and strangers asking how you were feeling. You couldnât not defer to Spencer, not really sure if he was Spencer in a permanent sense but aware intrinsically that he was to be trusted to answer for you.Â
Your brain is shaken, then stirred.Â
âIf I give you a pill, do you think you can keep it down? Itâs okay if you canât. Honest answer,â Spencer murmurs.Â
âI donât know.âÂ
âAn anti nausea pill you need to swallow isnât exactly mankindâs best invention.â He cradles the nape of your neck, then, sounding more on your side than anyone ever has. âI wish I could fix it.âÂ
âYou shouldâve put your brain to work for science,â you say agreeably, âyou can fix anything. Big pharma are lucky you chose to catch the bad guys instead.âÂ
âI meant your concussion.â You can barely hear him, and at the same time, itâs like heâs speaking into your marrow.Â
âYou did fix that,â you say, tipping your head back to see him. âYou took me to the doctor.âÂ
He smiles. âYeah, I did, but youâre still sick and hurting.âÂ
Itâs not that bad in Spencerâs arms. You had dreams like this, daydreams and sleeping, where heâd wrap you up and comfort you after some hurt, but youâre struggling to remember what made it feel as painful as it did at the time. Spencer felt far away. Now heâs right here. You curl your arm behind his neck to be squished together, tight tight tight. Spencer actually groans.Â
âSorry,â you say.Â
âNo, mânot in pain. I canât remember the last time I got to hold you like this for so long.âÂ
âI donât know why.âÂ
âI do, and itâs okay. I know why you get freaked out. Iâll never rush you. I donât mind. But I feel guilty âcos Iâm enjoying this and youâre in pain.â
Itâs a dull throb in the skull. You can barely feel it.Â
âSorry,â he mumbles.Â
âIâm confused.âÂ
âThatâs a common theme tonight.âÂ
âYou feel guilty âcos Iâm hugging you?âÂ
He covers your eyes with his hand. You laugh at first, but itâs oddly nice. Warm, dark. The throbbing pain ebbs a bit.Â
Spencer can feel you relaxing against him. Heâs all warmth and smell and sound under your ear. Exhaling, humming, the sound imbued with a fondness you donât understand. His chest is solid under you, his hair begging to be touched where it flirts with his shoulders, the slopes and lines of him a tactile wonderland for your greedy hands: you want to feel everything. You havenât the faintest clue as to why you werenât allowing yourself the privilege before.Â
âI just need you to get better fast,â he says, breathless. âThatâs all.âÂ
âI am trying my best.âÂ
Spencer rubs a thumb over one of your eyebrows, start to end. âAnd youâre so, so good at it,â he says.Â
You arenât concussed enough to miss the lightly mocking coo of it. But you donât care. Your nose drags up the line of his neck clumsily, in what you hope says tease me more, but more likely says concussive brain injury, second degree.Â
what I wished for with my grapes under the table
heâs disgusting, heâs repulsive, (Iâd fuck him) heâs nasty, heâs not allowed within 20 feet of my property
âThatâs not right, thereâs a person behind those eyesâŚâ
starboy
via freereinmediamusic on insta
Djo Perth Laneway


