Beeo @complainsalot - Tumblr Blog

Had a player take 2 skeletons through a town to an inn. One skeleton succeeded in going about without sound. The other sounded like a normal skeleton walking around.

Random commoner: Excuse me but why does that man sound that way?

Player: He has arthritis

Random commoner rolls a 10

Player rolls an 18

Random commoner: I’m sorry about that sir

yourplayersaidwhat

DM: The skeleton stares at you without saying a word.

ROGUE: I see you’re not much of a conventiona– conversio… conver–

ARTIFICER: Conversationalist.

PALADIN: Conservation–

ARTIFICER: Conversationalist.

DM: Conservative?

BARBARIAN: NOT MUCH OF A TALKER ARE YOU

yourplayersaidwhat

Wizard: I want my owl to help in this fight but don’t know how…

Cleric: make her poop on them.

Wizard: what? No. She’s not even real! She’s a fey owl!

Paladin: ok, then make her poop fake fairy dust as a distraction.

And it was from that point onward, our wizard regularly commanded his owl to assist in combats by “crop dusting” enemies. We remain undefeated.

squiddleward-deactivated2019032

IT’S FALL

THAT MEANS I CAN POST SQUIDWARD AND HIS PUMPKIN

weaver-z

Every time I close my eyes I see this one cat that won second place in the Cat Fancier's Association kitten category

weaver-z

Good Lird.....

yourplayersaidwhat

"FUCK I DROPPED MY PLUSHIE, SHIT FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK"

-My warforged warlock after accidentally dropping her plushie (which is also a familiar) in mud

yourplayersaidwhat

"these hands were made for holding three things. my holy symbol, my boyfriend's tits, and shiny objects."

-my aasimar cleric, with the criminal background

tsunamiwavesurfing

dandraco

This is… the exact opposite of that dark souls gif

rhymeswithgurt

I don’t think it’s possible to adequately state how fucking ballsy and skilled this player is considering the EXTREMELY specific timing of that dodge and catching the spear attack WHILE TAUNTING BETWEEN EACH THROW

I’m wheezing

Big Dick Energy

🖤🌹🌙

[This is a commission work, please do not use!]

Commissioned by @/emisweetdesigns on insta, this design will be available as an enamel pin on their store~

HE IS HERE!!

OOOohh HE IS COMING

WHO?

H I M

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

wizzardhat

shutupmerlin

Hello @staff I would like to make a formal complaint that my tumblr ads are no longer funny and nonsensical, but annoyingly frequent and boring. I demand you bring back the frog with a knife. I want to pour vinegar on bread.