just when you think that you're alright @confirmedpsycho - Tumblr Blog

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I was wondering if I could use your stimming gifs in a series of stimming positivity posts I wanna make on the app ifunny. Its obv okay if you dont want me to

Sure go ahead

bob-belcher

foxgirlmigraine

Don’t think any of my followers are German nor do I think my followers actually exist, but spreading for visibility anyways

birdsnestbegone

This is actually a fairly common practice for fascists. Never tear down their propaganda with your bare hands, always use a pocket knife or something

kittenbillie-deactivated2018033

Yeah this has been happening in America too, if you can then I recommend bringing your own anti-nazi stickers to put over the nazi ones

glumshoe

Tarantulas in media: great big vicious monsters, insatiable appetites, super deadly, ultra predators, terrifying soulless beasts

Tarantulas in real life: fragile, soft-bellied, eat your dinner or just fucking molt already it’s not that hard, ‘I’m fasting for religious reasons that I’m not going to explain and your offerings of crickets offend me’, ‘oooh nooo I stepped in my water dish and now my foot’s wet I’m going to climb up the glass to sulk about it and if I fall I might DIE and THEN you’ll be sorry’, will yank out ass hair when angry, arches up on tiptoes to avoid belly being touched by passing cricket, might hurt self on own skeleton, leave scraps of web lying around for no reason, constant maladaptive daydreaming, the stoners of the spider world

glumshoe

‘care guides say I like to burrow but nah, I just like making messy piles with substrate and then knocking them over like a child with sandcastles’

heartoferebor

also featuring: ‘this plant has been with me for ten years, time to have a sudden mood change and spend an entire night ripping it out and destroying it’ and ‘thanks for putting water in my vivarium i will now continue to shovel earth into it at every opportunity’, ‘i am a vicious predator and- oh no is that a woodlouse crawling over my foot oh no ew better go and sit on top of my cave ew’, ‘hello pesky HUMAN can you please take out these old leaves i found i wrapped them up into a nice bundle for you and put them in the corner i dont like them TAKE THEM OUT’ and, my forever favourite: ‘ohhhh this thermometer looks nice. it’s round. it’s pretty. I WILL WRAP ALL MY LEGS AROUND IT WHILST CLIMBING AND- oh. oh im sliding. it’s coming off. oh. WHY AM I ON MY BACK. OH.’

deathtokillian

The worst kinds of people are the abusers who act like the victim.

deathtokillian

The second worst kind is the abusers who don’t think they are abusing you.

colorfulcartoon-deactivated2019

If you’re around 18 and you dont find this nostalgic I feel bad for your childhood

y2k-aesthetic

I had that EXACT Doodle Bear! I actually thrifted it in college back in the late 2000s. I gave it to my young niece.

just-shower-thoughts

The only web developers that enjoy finding bugs are spiders

punkshitposts

I won’t say anything about sharpies and whatnot because personally I write a lot on the walls and bathroom stalls and I’ve had a conversation with our janitor about it, he finds the doodles entertaining. Butttt anyway, it’s not punk to leave school bathrooms a mess. Like don’t leave soap and paper towels and toilet paper all over the floors and counters. It’s just rude to be an ass to your janitor. Make their lives easier and pick up after yourselves.

as someone who was a maid for two years, I support this hardcore. its punk as hell to respect maintenance workers

~Mod Prongs

morganalefays

no offense but im going to get better and im taking all of you up with me

penicillium-pusher

Neurodiversity is the diversity found in the human brain and mind. A neurodiverse person, then, may have PTSD, anxiety, be autistic, etc. These are LGBTQ identities specific to neurodiverse folks.

wanderrlex

The signs I missed

As of last weekend, I ended the second abusive relationship I’ve had in three years. The only two relationships I’ve had in three years. The details of what happened aren’t important now, but I wanted to put down in writing the red flags that I missed. Mainly for me, so that going forward I can avoid men like this, but also for all of you because sometimes when you’re in love with someone; they can be easy to overlook. I couldn’t believe, once I took a step back, that I missed so many red flags when the last guy I dated did so many of the same things.

1. He doesn’t care about getting to know your friends.

This one is huge to me. I think that abusive men tend to realize that your friends aren’t going to like them, and so they show little to no interest in getting to know them; or they trash talk your friends and try to separate you from them. It’s a matter of isolation. If he can isolate you, he can easily control you.

2. He has a history of abuse with girls.

This one seems obvious, but it’s something I wrote off from the beginning because he told me within a week of meeting. And when he told me, he acted like he hated himself for it; like it would never happen again. I saw someone with so much guilt and I just wanted to hold him and make it go away. This is the mask they use, this mask of regret and separation from who they used to be. From what I’ve learned (the hard way) men like this, without major therapeutic intervention, don’t change.

3. He treats his parents poorly/has gotten into physical altercations with them before

Again, a huge sign I overlooked because we both had such hard pasts. When he told me that part of his life was done; I believed him. Even when I heard him verbally disrespecting his parents (who do everything for him), I coached him and thought he could change.

4. He thinks his ideas and ways of doing things are better than anyone else

Narcissism is a huge red flag with guys that should never be written off as confidence. They are not serendipitous. Narcissism is a very dangerous behavioral pattern, because they genuinely don’t tend to see their own wrong doing at all. Don’t believe apologies from narcissists, believe when they start to change. They will play the sad boy, the sorry act, whatever you need to hear to let them off easy. If he speaks as if he is better than anyone, if his ideas are 100% right without question, you should run for it. Narcissists can’t respect other people by default, because they don’t think anyone else deserves it. Everything we did- he called the shots. Every tv show we watched was ones he liked. I think he watched a movie I picked out one time in four months. My opinions and desires weren’t a concern, and that isn’t how love is supposed to be. Love is compromise, not a dictatorship.

5. He starts either controlling you directly or punishing you when you do things he doesn’t approve of

My ex used the punishment tactic a lot. Some things he wouldn’t straight up say I couldn’t do, but he would punish me by silence or lashing out at other little things when I would do them. He started telling me he didn’t want me to see certain people that had observed him disrespecting me and wouldn’t talk to me if I did. He didn’t want me doing photoshoots with other people, so if I tried to schedule one with someone his mood would shift instantly. He would punish me for getting upset when he was disrespectful or abusive, told me I was playing the victim and that me being upset was “me trying to control him”.

6. He withholds you from activities you used to love, again directly or indirectly

This showed up for me in photography. Again, I wasn’t to shoot with anyone but him. But it was also other things, if I wanted to get up early and hike without him it was a fight. If I wanted to go do anything without him it was a fight.

7. His blow ups end with over the top apologies

This started early on. My friends all saw it before I did. When his mask first slipped, it was after I had shot with someone else and we went to dinner with my roommate. He had a total blow up and was so rude to her, and I was confused because I had never seen him act like that. We ended up chasing him around the city in my car until he calmed down. And then he was so overly apologetic to both of us, but after a while he just started acting normal again like nothing had happened. He cheated on me while I was abroad volunteering, and before I got home he had spent close to a thousand dollars at Ikea getting items from my room to try and compensate. It worked. I always ended up accepting his apologies.

8. As time goes on, his blow ups become more frequent and the apologies get shorter or disappear all together

Eventually the blow ups happen more and more; and for more ridiculous reasons. You picking up the wrong socks, you telling him that 9 muscle relaxers is too many, you wanting some of his fries (wish I was kidding), etc. and the apologies start shrinking. Because he isn’t actually sorry for any of it. The apologies are acts to give you reason to stick around. But once he feels like Is he has decent control over you, he doesn’t need the act any more. His apologies stop coming. Suddenly you start to wonder where the guy you fell for went; or if he was ever there at all.

9. He puts his hands on you for any reason, either to stop you from walking away or to make a point

The physical interactions started off with restraining, because I wasn’t allowed to walk away or get space when he was upset. He would tell me that I was, in fact, the one who had assaulted him because I would fight back when he restrained me. I would scratch and kick and bite to get him to let me go, so I was the bad one. I was the abuser, I should have just let him touch me whenever and however he pleased. This of course gave way with time to him hitting, choking, and other things back when I would defend myself. It’s a very, very slippery slope. No man has any reason or right to put his hands on you, for any reason, without consent. Especially not during an argument.

10. He leaves you alone in public

I can’t remember all the times this occurred. Once on a road trip he dropped me off at a gas station in Idaho and drove away. He would leave me alone at the bars, at stores, etc. It became clear my physical safety was a non issue to him.

11. He starts threatening you verbally

Again, if he ever threatens to “beat the shit out of you”, please believe him. Guys without abusive tendencies don’t threaten those things. They just don’t. If he starts threatening you physically, try to get a recording of it (for your own safety going forward if you need a restraining order) and get out.

12. He starts using your biggest insecurities as casual points in arguments

"This is why your friends hate you" “this is why your dad doesn’t Love you” “this is probably why your parents got divorced” “you’re unlovable"

All real things said during arguments. I personally think verbal and emotional abuse is worse than physical, because you never forget these things. And hearing them come out of a different persons mouth only further establishes your belief in them. Please know these things aren’t true. He doesn’t define you or your relationships. He just wants to break you down so that you keep coming back when his true colors show. You can survive without him and you will be happier doing it.

13. Every fight, no matter how trivial, he threatens to leave you

From the beginning this was a huge issue. It never resolved, I was always threatened with being left alone in my worst moments; when I was in the most pain.

14. He pushes you to move in, or get a job near/with him

These things happen during the good times, but being pushed too fast too early is another sign of controlling tendencies. The more he can make your life reliant on him, the more control he has. This is the way abusers create the void in yourself that you feel when they’re gone, they create a physical and practical need to have them in your life– and then they make a home there. I would be cautious of any guy that pushes you to commit too fast. It may come off as him being crazy about you in all the right ways, but it could be the wrong way all together.

13. He starts planting ultimatums early on in the relationship

I was told from the beginning that it I didn’t do _______ with my future, we weren’t going to work. I started entertaining the thought of changing my life goals to incorporate him and his goals. Fuck that. I’ve wanted the same things for 7 years, I’m not changing that for a guy. But I almost did.

14. Your self esteem drops off the deep end

I slowly but surely started to believe all the things being said about me, in both cases. He would threaten to talk to all the girls chasing after him, I would feel inadequate. I wouldn’t be sexually attracted to him because I felt emotionally unsafe with him, he would threaten to out source his sexual needs. He would creep on other girls on Instagram, I would feel ugly or fat or whatever in comparison. Every time a girl approached him at work, at a bar, etc, I was the first to know. There was a constant need to remind me that I was not the only option, and how easy it would be to replace me.

15. He starts holding any nice deeds he has done for you over your head

At the end of the relationship I literally got sent a bill for every dollar he had spent during our time together. Seriously. He would defend any wrong doing on his part by "you owe me money” or “I did _______ for you”; and that’s just the thing, he did those things to control. He did them to have leverage when his true self came out.

16. You find yourself hiding his actions from your friends

I subconsciously omitted information from my friends because I was so afraid of coming across as a hypocrite. I knew they didn’t want me with him. I knew my mom hated it, so I hid the things he would say and do. I was so afraid of them seeing what I was allowing to happen to me, because I wasn’t ready to leave him yet. But finally, when I was, none of them were surprised and they all came rushing to me to support and Love me and prevent me from falling back into the trap.

This list could go on, but I think that these 16 things were the biggest signs I missed. Please, if you feel like you might be in an abusive relationship on any level, reach out. I was scared too. I was terrified of what people would think, of being alone, of him, of everything. It’s been a week, it’s been a really hard week, especially knowing he has been out every night with random girls; but I know I deserve so much more than an abusive emotional black mailer. So do you.

Eventually you have to ask yourself, if your best friend was in this relationship, would you want her to stay? No? Then the same applies for you. Being happy 5% of the time is not enough and not worth it; someone out there is going to make you happier than you’ve ever been and the more time you waste with an abuser is the less time you get to spend happy. I love you guys. Thank you for the continued support over the years. I feel like I owe everyone an apology for falling into the same trap- mainly myself.

marlowelune

Non-binary Presentation Terms

Although words like butch, femme, masc, and fem have been applied to nonbinary folk since their inception, they don’t always meet the needs of non-binary people in comfortably describing the way we look.

So here are a new additional set of options! We’ve considered two different “axes” here – one that relates most closely to the masc—fem scale, and one that considers “effort”, or a level of… drama or ostentation in a look. They can be combined as one pleases or used individually!

Additionally, please apply them at will to yourself based on your own ideas about what it means to dress femininely or dramatically or androgynously etc. These words are not to be held hostage to cissexism or gender roles. These words also describe presentations that are inherently not binary – the only reason we’re using words like “masculine” and “feminine” to describe them at all is for ease of communication. They can and should describe particular looks, including those that people are inclined to gender, without actually gendering them.

Note: These are not coined with the intention of being gender identities. They have nothing inherently to do with gender identity. You can be a demigirl stag, etc. (That said, if someone wants to use them as a gender because you feel it’s tied closely to your presentation, we’re certainly not stopping you.)

Here they are!

Stag: A “masc”, “butch” or “tomcat” equivalent, describing a presentation one considers to be associated with ideas about masculinity, or a presentation others might consider masculine.

Fox: Describing an androgynous, fluid, or combined presentation; can be applied to any presentation a person feels doesn’t resemble the other sides of the spectrum.

Swan: A “femme/fem” or “doe” equivalent, describing a presentation one considers to be associated with ideas about femininity, or a presentation others might consider feminine.

Sparrow: A casual, minimalist, muted or low-effort presentation. For example, for those folks who just roll through their closet and go.

Crow: For presentations that are in-between, combined, or fluid along a scale of effort/ostentation.

Peacock: For presentations that are high effort. Glam, dramatic, flashy, flamboyant, attention-drawing, etc. Dressed to the nines, so to speak!

so anyway tag urself

(chart meant purely to be silly and fun, not to suggest actual criteria or associations. Disregard entirely if you resonate with the terms but not these goofy tidbits.)

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