When you’re on Chopped and Ted announces that you have 5 minutes left
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When you’re on Chopped and Ted announces that you have 5 minutes left
I’ve always thought of going back to a place where you can drink tea and sit on the carpet. I’ve been fortunate enough to do that. All that time…you’ve just reminded me of it. I thought it was good fun. - Syd Barrett (1971)
i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me
I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.
At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee
a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and whispered “count olaf”
once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”
A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.
Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.
Girls are a fucking gift don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
this picture is actually one of the most terrifying things i’ve ever seen
what are they planning
Wow it’s almost like most of human history has been about controlling women… or something…
then again
the more things change….
The people making these memes obviously have never seen some of the weird ass shit in old-timey photos. A quick Google and:
Humans are basically a giant jumble of weirdos that try to belittle other weirdos…
That’s the most accurate and poignant description of human nature I’ve ever read
they know what they’ve done
What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like
“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.” “Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”
“Are you still up?” “Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”
“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.” “Like what?” “I dunno. Pizza rolls?”
“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”
“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”
“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”
“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?” “…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”
“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”
“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”
“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”
“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”
“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”
Someone write this or I will.
1966
Bob Eggleton
notkatniss:
when u work a job together and one of u just misses the point
how do u literally star in a novel adaptation about rebelling against a fascist government in a dystopian future and miss the point this bad
UNBELIEVABLE
I can’t stop watching this. he’s a Chaotic Neutral demigod.
OMFGGGGG
HOLY FUCK BLESS HIM
Nirvana, 1991
SAVE US MRS OBAMA