Behind The Eyes

A record of our existence.

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Control

sex controls us all but it doesnt have to society tries to make it  but it doesnt have to sex controlled me so much that i thought i needed it to be i would try and get laid every day but thats no way to spend your energy thats no way for a man to be but i was blind and i couldnt see now my eyes are wide open society tries to make us broken they dont want you to see past what they have floating  right in front of your face  its everywhere from the tv to social media  they dont want you to understand that sex sex is meant for love  but it is not love love without sex can be even better then you expect save your sexual energy  use it to help you be who your meant to be use it to overthrow the powers that have been here for centuries  we are sentient beings sent here to live love laugh and change sent here to do things before were sent back to the austral plane  ive seen what society tries to make us and let me tell you you dont wanna see that its never to late to wake up its never to late to make up for lost time  for all the wrong youve done its never to late to make up for not being the god your meant to be for not fullfiling your destiny  the universe watches over us all it tries so hard to make it so we dont fall but when we do theirs always a lesson or two no regrets just lessons thats the most important lesson and if theirs anything you get out of these words its that your in control of it all  and if you dont understand this maybe you need to take another tablet maybe you need to meditate till you understand it break away from what your told  everything you need is in your soul -SMH

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Conform

I’ll cut my hair and trim my face Please put me in my rightful place Allow for me to succeed So I can buy all I need Phones, watches, jewelry All of the essential things Everything you said I need

Now can I be happy?

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Sadistic Hierarchy

I change my shape in hope to please The fucked up mindset of society Dropped 60 pounds and prayed they see How much that they mean to me But still they laugh and mock me About so many trivial things And while I see right through their schemes I continue trying to please The sadistic hierarchy In trust that they will finally see The fucked up person they made me Damn these insecurities…

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Society

We’re just peasants can’t you see This is our society They love to keep us dumb and fat So they can exploit all we have I’m sick of bigots and their lies I’ll jump off now and hope to fly To a place that will show me All of its sincerity

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Sunshine City _02

Episode 2 Ringing… It’s all you hear for days after you get hit it’s amazing how everything changes when you can’t hear. Customers don’t bother you as much when you’re only hearing mumbled orders shit even that annoying prick Brian can’t phase me, and his words just slip by my ears without the slightest sting. But that’s enough about my day job I hate it enough as it is, and I don’t need to give myself any more reasons. What I do at night however is my true calling…. My ultimate release. Most people would call it ‘strange’ but for me it’s just the norm. Most would call me a vigilante, and that’s because people have too much hope. People create heroes out of desperation. We as a society have been conditioned to hope for others to be self-less and that we are all special people, Jesus… the author of Fight Club was dead right about this world we live in, and it’s fucking pathetic…. Others would say that I’m crazy and to be completely honest I don’t necessarily disagree. But aren’t we all a little crazy? Craziness to me is going to a shit job for low pay for 40 years is crazy. Staying married to a spouse that you don’t love and haven’t for a long time is crazy. But then again I am the one wearing a hoodie carrying kitchen knives and a baseball bat. What can I say? I’m looking to release some anger, and trust me it does the job. This city is strange with most cities the daytime is when the city shines and people are out, but here people are like vampires they all come out at night, the ones I’m interested in anyway, the city thrives off pain. People walk the streets as if we live in some suburb of Canada phone in hand not paying attention to the world around them; Those people annoy me the most because they’re the ones who become the victim, and trust me it’s their own damn fault, you can’t walk through the worst parts of town at 2 a.m. displaying your shiny new phone and not expect trouble. I can’t blame them…. people hide behind their phones to help them ignore the terrible crimes that occur in this city. Life is easier to handle when you blindly go through it unfortunately for me I opened my eyes a long time ago, and all I see now is trash. The trash of this city. Rain makes your sense of smell better and trust me when I say it makes this city worse. The sights aren’t much better tall skyscrapers mixed with condemned houses of tragedies past. Bright green and orange neon signs light up the streets like a shitty Christmas tree. I prefer to stick to the ally’s and wait. Wait for a scream or someone running, because that means I get to free myself. TILL NEXT TIME

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Sunshine City _1

Sunshine City This city is cold….. Its darkness gives refuge to the diseased people the ones who wish to do harm. I didn’t grow up here and trust me I’m thankful for that every day. Shit…. It’s all this city provides. The city reeks of it you can’t run from the smell; the smell of failure. Sunshine City *scoff* the name is the biggest joke of it all. It rains 99% of the time… Seattle looks like California to us. I’ve only been here for a couple of months and I already long to go back to Detroit. At least it’s sunny there, and the sports teams are good unlike the sunshine raindrops, another sick joke this city provides they are the worst baseball team in the world, a blind kid with his cane has a better chance of hitting a baseball then everyone else on the team. HELL someone with no arms could do a better job…. I guess you could say I’m condescending, but in today’s world who isn’t? If you say you aren’t you’re a fucking liar, but then again that’s what this city creates… liars. Now the real question is who am I? My answer: does it really matter? My name doesn’t mean shit, but my actions do, and those actions will get me remembered. I won’t tell you my name, but I will tell you what I do. In the daytime I work at a diner, and at night I beat the shit out of assholes who think this city is their personal playground, but let me be honest I love those kind of people. People who think that they can do whatever they want give me the opportunity to show how wrong they really are. Punching someone is the greatest release I’ve found. Alcohol, sex, dancing nothing beats it. Shit heroin isn’t even this good. Letting off steam is important, especially when you’re working a dead-end job dealing with peoples shit who think they’re better than you. For all I know they are, but at least I know that I can beat the shit out off all of them, and that to me makes me better. I’ll leave the final judgement up to you. This is my story but I will take you along for the ride. TILL NEXT TIME….. - J.W

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3/28/15

Better days bring hopeful nights Now I can withstand the fight Stand in the bright warm sun Now my life has begun - J.W

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Mind

My mind is a feeble thing Coming unraveled at the seams It lies to me of what it needs Tells me to hate everything To be so critical and obscene What can't I just be happy?

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Peace

Sleep, School, Work, Drink Sleep, School, Work, Drink Sleep, School, Work, Drink Sleep, School, Work, *BANG* Peace......

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Me

The scars I have are not skin deep They live deep down inside of me They are not cuts upon my wrist  Or needle marks upon my skin They are my insecurities  That people have instilled in me How I'm dumb, ugly, and fat Not worth their time or a kind act They hate how I never act my age Because to me life is a game I loved to play But more and more I do see That the world no longer needs me

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Alone

Alone is what I'll always be I need someones honesty About how they see me In this fucked up reality 

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Say

I can not stand for all this hate It makes my heart a darker place For I just want to be okay All it takes is for you to say.......

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1/1/2015

I don't write to pity myself or bring attention to myself. I write to show others they are not alone that even the happiest people have darkness inside of them and that if you keep it in it will destroy you. So let it out stop acting happy and be yourself if you're sad that day be sad so people will appreciate you when you're at your highest and your lowest.

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Shell

  Why'd I think you'd stay with me I know you think I'm quite obscene Gross and rude, but cant you see? That it is not the real me It is a shell I hide inside To protect my vulnerable mind Which has been hurt so many times Because this world is so unkind  - J.W

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Hesitation and doubt has often gotten the better of me and led to missed opportunities and experience. Constantly weighed down by perceived flaws and insecurities. Let them go. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - K.G

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Christmas Eve

This time of year is full of cheer But yet my heart is full of fear Alone again on Christmas eve No one ever wanting me I wish for someone to see  A man who just wants to believe  That love is out there for me So I don't wander hopelessly

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Are we everything or am I nothing?

- K.G