I never understand how some men can show kindness, gentleness, and compassion to the world outside but wear a completely different face at home.
The worst kind of man is the one who appears righteous to the public, yet is a harsh tyrant with his own family. Aren’t your wife and children the ones most deserving of your warmth, mercy, and patience?
Masculinity is not about being cold, distant, or harsh. Qawwama (being a maintainer and protector) does not mean ruling with an iron fist.
A real man knows balance — to provide, to protect, to show mercy, and to be gentle with his family — while also standing firm when necessary. He plays with his family without losing respect. And when the time comes to make serious decisions, he is decisive and firm, not oppressive.
Balance is knowing when to press the gas and when to apply the brake — and when you do put your foot down, your family knows your decision is made with wisdom, not ego.
It was narrated by Ibraaheem ibn Daazeel, from Abu Huthayfah, from Ath-Thawri, from his father, from Ibraaheem At-Tameemi, that ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
“A man should be like a child with his wife, but when he is needed (to be serious), he must act like a man.”
(Al-Mujaalasah wa Jawaahir Al-‘Ilm — Ad-Deenawari, the Maliki scholar).
Recentemente vi um documentário sobre a febre dos Doramas Coreanos onde mulheres se enganam com essa visão construída de que os homens coreanos são idealizados a ponto de serem um retrato da novela e acabam se ferrando quando vão tirar a prova. Esse texto acabou por me lembrar disso, vale a reflexão.
