on this day in 1953 shirley jackson sent this to an unhappy reader
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@renaissancegoddess
on this day in 1953 shirley jackson sent this to an unhappy reader
in the club asking people if they prefer paperback or hardcover books
eddie literally lets buck do whatever he wants because he has big boobs and big blue eyes and a sweet smile even if it pisses him offffffff god bless your mattress and bedsheets eddie diaz its going to know a state of saturation unknown by most
you can tell a lot about a person by who their first fictional crush was. it also explains every fictional crush they’ve had since
who was yours? i’ll go first: mine was batman :x
I need everyone to STICK WITH ME ON THIS ONE
In an alternate universe:
Ilya Rozanov: Marley I have something really important to tell you. I have hidden a secret about myself for a long time. You are one of my closest friends, and I hope that knowing this doesn’t change anything…I’m bisexual
Cliff Marlow: (visibly confused) yeah…I know that???
Ilya: what? How did you know???
Marlow: Dude you don’t exactly hide it
Ilya: What are you talking about????
Marlow: yeah dude you speak Russian all the time. You have an accent. It’s not that crazy
Ilya:…
Marlow:…
Ilya:…
Marlow:…
Ilya: THAT IS BILINGUAL YOU IDIOT-
*after explaining to his Idiot bestie what bisexuality really is*
Marlow: ooohhh so that’s what that thing with Hollander is
Ilya: ??????!!??!??????!?!???
College AU Russian studies major Shane Hollander forgets to tell the fuckbuddy he met through his speaking tutor Svetlana Vetrova that he is fluent in Russian and that he understands phrases like "you're so fucking perfect" and "you have ruined me" and "you look like a sexy librarian you perfect slut"
Ilya, whiny voice: come back to bed hollander i want to fuck you
Shane: can't i really need to finish this essay
Ilya: whats it on maybe i can help you
Shane, sweating staring at 2k words on modern russian pop culture: haha probably not no it's boring
op don't let these die in the tags
Clifford H. Marleau. The H stands for Hellyeahbrother.
shane in the beginning of their official relationship being unsure of how to do casual intimacy because he’s used to only get it if it’s during sex or with the intent of turning into sex but now they’re boyfriends and he doesn’t always know how to navigate that so sometimes he will just 🧍🏻♂️ in the middle of the room because he wants a smooch but he’s unsure of how to progress and he feels weird asking for it before eventually realizing that ilya is more than happy to indulge
the eleventh hour promise cliff marleau makes where he says Roz listen to me man Listen if it goes tits up in canada because you uprooted your life for some bitch i’ve never met—and nobody has ever met by the way—no don’t walk away. tell you what dude we’ll both trade to florida. Alright? you have an escape hatch you’re not trapped brother you say the fucking word and we are back on line together coronas in hand. fucking call whenever and i’m there i’ve got my agent on it let me know and i’ll pull trig
MY LIEGE I HAVE MADE THE GRAVE MISTAKE OF INJURING THINE PRIMARY CONCUBINE. I UNDERSTAND AND ANTICIPATE THAT THE PUNISHMENT FOR SUCH A TRANSGRESSION DOES INCLUDE THE END OF THIS PORTION OF MY IMMORTAL LIFE AT THY HAND. PLEASE ACCEPT MY MOST HUMBLE PRAYERS THAT THE CONCUBINE HOLLANDER RECOVERS WITH ALACRITY. IF I MAY HAVE ONE PARTING REQUEST, MY LIEGE, THAT MY MANY YEARS OF SERVICE MIGHT HAVE EARNED ME: TAKE THIS VESSEL QUICKLY. SWING THY SWORD WITH ACCURACY. I WILL FOLLOW YOU AS ALWAYS INTO THE NEXT LIFE. EXPRESS MY DEEPEST REGRET TO THINE WARRIOR LOVER.
Ilya, the next morning: Marley feels really bad about hurting you.
Okay but what if, stay with me here, Cliff is the dude NHL players hook up with if they want to try some ‘gay shit’ but don’t want to be outed
Cliff’s been doing it for years he knows what signs point to someone potentially interested in dick and after the rookie awards he meets an upset Shane and they talk a bit in the elevator before both awkwardly getting out on the same floor.
And Shane is just tipsy enough to ask what Cliff’s plans for the night are.
“Nothing, just probably gonna watch a movie. Order room service. Probably jerk it before bed,” he says
“Well if you want company, my plans fell through. So,” Shane finds himself saying awkwardly.
And before he can even take it back, Cliff’s nodding, throwing an arm over Shane’s shoulders and dragging him down the opposite end of the hallway to his room.
That’s how Shane finds himself without his suit jacket, propped up against the headboard sitting next to Cliff fucking Marleau as they watch some god awful Nicolas Cage movie.
They talk about through the movie, but Cliff’s got a hand down his boxers, just relaxed, and Shane is hyperfocused on it the whole damn movie but he needs to get out cause even though the alcohol is wearing off he’s still pleasantly buzzed and realized just how good looking Marleau is.
The movie finishes and Shane stands up, grabbing his jacket, “thanks for the movie but I should probably get going..”
“Going? We didn’t even order room service or jerk off yet.”
And there’s no way Cliff Marleau said that out loud. Shane is hearing things. He must’ve been drugged at the party cause there’s no fucking way…
“What? I-I’m not—“
Cliff eyes him and stands up, slowly, like he knows any quick movement will startle Shane. And Shane can’t help but take a step back with each step forward Cliff takes, until he’s backed up against the wall.
“Listen, offer’s there. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little curiosity. Seeing if it’s something you like.”
“Curious?” Shane asks, and can’t help but hear Rozanov’s voice in his head.
“Yeah. Some of the guys in the league, not gonna name any names, but they come to me when they wanna see if they like dick,” he says with a shrug, like he didn’t just drop a bombshell on Shane.
“What? So you’re—?”
“I’m…” Cliff rests his arm on the wall right by Shane’s head and leans in, “an equal opportunist.
“Listen, Hollander,” and oh, Marlaeu’s voice is softer, gentler, “if I got it wrong, or you’re not interested, no harm done. You can go about your night and enjoy your win, and we don’t say a word about this. But…if you want…”
Cliff looks down at the hard on Shane’s been trying, and failing, to will down since he found himself up against the wall.
There’s a beat. Shane can hear his own heartbeat in his ears. He can hear his own sweat trickling down his forehead.
This is such a bad idea…
“I want…” he whispers.
Cliff smiles, his free hand comes up and cups Shane’s chin, lifting his head so their eyes meet.
When their lips touch, Shane’s first thought is to compare it how Rozanov kisses. But then after a couple minutes a large hand is cupping his clothed dick and he bucks up into the hand. His own hands find themselves on Marleau’s neck, pulling him down and deepening the kiss.
They don’t do anal, but Shane learns how to take a dick down his throat. He also learns he can come from sucking dick even after he’s already come within the hour.
The next day when he’s on a plane back to Montreal he’s dazed about last night and staring at Marleau’s number in his phone.
I need to write Ilya’s just NASTY stoopid texts to Cliff and Bood just the absolutely most dumb shit like that post where they send dick picks back and forth to rate them and when they score a goal ‘bricked up 🥵’ it’s so stupid and hilarious to me please we need more fics of that shit I would consume them all
Hutsul woman wearing traditional clothing from Kosiv area, undated.
I know that when Ilya finally finds out that Shane had put on a suit before their first hook up he's gonna be insufferable about it he'll be like "Shane, kotenok, it's time to suit up we're gonna have sex"
Every time they go to have sex for the next ten weeks, Ilya pauses and Shane gets concerned by the look on his face until Ilya just says ‘uh. Shouldn’t you be wearing your suit’ and Shane nearly gets up and leaves the room (as a bit)
today's heated rivalry thought that won't leave my head:
at the bar where shane meets rose, and he tries to order a ginger ale, and the bartender is surprised
not even judgmental! just surprised. he even says they do have it, and i think goes to grab some for shane.
but his little moment of surprise makes shane remember that you're not supposed to order ginger ale at a bar, that that's weird, and he doesn't really understand why that is
he knows that being weird is not allowed, though. so he asks for a beer, whatever beer, because he knows that's the normalest thing he could possibly do, that's what Men Like To Drink.
it's just such a small detail. and we see it happen more than once to shane. it happens also with the waiter at the restaurant when he's having lunch with his parents who's visibly surprised and a little snobby when he asks for a ginger ale and offers sparkling water instead. and again shane just says it's fine.
everywhere shane goes, he gets these little signals that the things that he wants aren't allowed because they're not normal. and it's obvious that he doesn't understand why, which makes sense because there's no fucking logic to why it's okay to order a coke but not a ginger ale. but he's learned to deal with it by just accepting that he must have missed something, he must have done something wrong, and he should just ignore what he wants, maybe decide he doesn't want it at all, so that no one knows that he's breaking the rule of normal even though the rule of normal is arbitrary and stupid and often applies to things that matter as little as what kind of drink you want to order at a bar. even when the signal is just a little bit of surprise from some guy behind a bar. even when it's about a fucking ginger ale.
this is a post about autism.
Why is there a diarrhea parasite outbreak in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to disease prevention and control.
Why is measles back in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including RFK Jr, cut vaccine and measles prevention funding and programs.
Why is the New World Screwworm infecting cattle in Texas, when it had previously been eliminated from the area?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Elon Musk, cut USAID funding, which in part worked to monitor and prevent screwworm outbreaks.
Why was there a flu outbreak in our armed forces?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Pete Hegseth, cut vaccination requirements for our armed forces, putting all of them at risk alongside our military readiness.
What contributed to the Covid outbreak?
Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to a pandemic prevention program in his first term because Barack Obama had created it.
“America first” sends its regards. Trump voters, please learn your lesson. And if you don’t, it’ll be taught to you again with yet another diarrhea outbreak.