Things Sam Plans To Cook

[surroundedbybooks]

Which occasioned the following conversation on my Discord.

This will either delight @copperbadge or be seen as an act of war against taste buds and common decency.

.... sorry...?

[copperbadge]

MALORT AIOLI I NEED TO MAKE IT

I made malort butter the other day. This is achievable. In fact it might be achievable using the Malort butter. Or I'm going to need to make some Malolive oil.

The other day @aerialsquid asked, "Why do you keep infusing Malort into things," and I truthfully replied, "People keep provoking me."

[surroundedbybooks]

Target audience achieved!

Looking forward to the results of the experiment.

Are you going to make Hodag try it too?

(Have you ever made Malort cookies?)

[isitasandwich]

Woven Pretzel Hotdogs.

No, it is not a sandwich.

[copperbadge]

It is however AMAZING I WANT TO MAKE ONE. 

[tigerlilypurr]

Schlissel challah (for the first Shabbat after Passover)

[clockworkcanary]

Bf is packing up ingredients to make cookies for his onsite meeting.

He usually ends up with a suite with a kitchen for these onsite things and he wants to surprise his coworkers and present them with something they have not encountered before.

(I immediately thought of @ copperbadge and #foodieverse and the cookies with poprocks in them, and he said, “yes! If I had poprocks I would do that!”

Anyways, this is what he’s preparing to make:

Gochujang Caramel Cookies

These gochujang caramel cookies, adapted from a sugar cookie marbled with Korean chili paste and invented by cookie genius Eric Kim of the N

[worse-homes-and-gardens]

[mizjoely]

This is just…all sorts of WRONG, right, @maeskitchen?

[the-rainbow-jen]

Thoughts, @copperbadge ?

[copperbadge]

I…I’m not sure what that thing in the lower left is, maybe a porkchop? It’s very medieval, glazing meat with a fruit sauce, I could be down with that. I’m picturing the flavor of raisins on a cheeseburger and I’m not happy about it, but after all, tomato is a fruit. 

The only one I can’t figure out is the raisins in baked beans. I may need to cook it. Just to satisfy my curiosity. 

[d1nosaurpower]

Honestly I am impressed there is no pie that involves turkey and pumpkin in US

Here is a pretty good shumush recipe

Shumush is a pie from Azov Greek culture, widespread in Donetsk region of Ukraine Cook time: 1.5h (1 h 15 minutes if you are pro grater or have enough friends) You will need: 1 small pumpkin OR butternut squash 1.8 kg/4lb ground turkey Oil/butter Puff pastry Egg Small onion (perfectly white or yellow) Garlic cloves (I used 4) Salt Spices-wise, I advice to go with cumin/smoked paprika/coriander/pepper OR ajika seasoning OR what you may find suitable (feel free to experiment) 1. Grate pumpkin and smash and dice garlic 2. Dice onion 3. Fry onion on pan until nearly transparent 4. Add grated pumpkin and garlic, keep frying and mixing until you are content/pumpkin shavinggs are soft 5. Blend in turkey and spices. (and salt) Do not fry anymore 6. Roll out puff pastry sheet in a ceramic/glass baking container 7. Place turkey and pumpkin blend on top 8. Fold puff pastry on top in style of envelope. Also you can place another sheet of pastry over and clamp edges. Be creative. 9. Blend egg and smear it over to give pie golden hue 10. Bake for 1 hour on 180 C/355 F 11. All done :)

[theahole]

Sally Lunn!

You would not believe how good this bread smells.

[theahole]

Stronger Sally Lunn (batter bread)

1/4 cup warm water (105-115° F) 1 package active dry yeast (1/4 ounce) 1 cup warm milk 1/2 cup (1 stick) softened butter 1/4 cup sugar 2 tsps salt 3 jumbo eggs, well beaten at room temperature 5 1/2 to 6 cups bread flour

Measure warm water into warm bowl. Sprinkle yeast over water, stir until dissolved.

In large bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Gradually mix in salt and eggs (add a little, mix in, add more, mix in, etc). Add one cup of flour to your mixture. Gradually mix in the milk. Add another cup of flour to the mixture. Gradually mix in the yeast/water mixture, then another cup of flour. Stir vigorously for about a minute. Stir in enough of the remaining flour to make a soft dough. Cover with a wet dish towel and let rise in a warm place, free from drafts, until doubled in bulk, about 1 1/2 hours.

Stir the mixture until it's deflated a bit, then spoon into 2 9x5x3-inch loaf pans lined with parchment paper. Cover again and let rise for another 1 1/2 hours.

Bake at 375° F for about 30 minutes. Remove from pan & cool on wire racks.

[theahole]

I just made this from my version of the recipe, so it's revised now. Please use this version. Also, even if you think you know what you're doing, testing your own recipes is important.

[archiemcphee]

[archiemcphee]

This is your friendly reminder that Octopizza is a thing that exists and it is awesome.

archiemcphee

Yep, this edible beauty is an octopus pizza and we couldn’t be more excited about it. Instructables user donedirtcheap created this mouthwateringly awesome “Octopizza Pie” and then took the time to provide step-by-step instructions so we can all make our own cephalopod pizzas.

We would just add one little detail: surely the best way to eat such a tentacular pizza is while wearing Finger Tentacles.

[via That’s Nerdalicious!]

[rineechan]

This is something I want @copperbadge to know of, just for the sake of it.

[copperbadge]

OCTOPIZZA

I GOTTA MAKE ONE

[copperbadge]

Apropos pasta recipes: the Food Of Our People (Jewish, in this case from Rome), broccoli ripassati, makes for an excellent pasta sauce/accompaniment. Here is a recipe that already plans for the pasta: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/03/twice-cooked-broccoli-repassati-recipe-rachel-roddy . A couple of anchovies added to the olive oil will make this even better, if you eat those.

Oh man...it looks so good except for....the broccoli :D broccoli is unfortunately a hard no for me, it's so bitter I can't even eat it smothered in sauce. That said, I really like the recipe, it's both simple and appealing, so I'm thinking possibly I could do it with one of the few plants I do eat, like spinach or perhaps cabbage. Next time I pick up some spinach for something I might give it a swing!

[copperbadge]

This is only technically edible.

Okay. So, I was browsing my Twitter feed and. Well. See.

I had to tell someone.

GUYS.

[ID: A photograph of boxes of “Kraft Macaroni & Cheese” branded gummies; seen through a window in the boxes, the gummies are the same size and vibrant bright orange color as Kraft Mac & Cheese noodles.]

Honestly I'd love to find some and try them, but I feel like I can just IMAGINE how they'd taste. Like cold Kraft mac'n'cheese with the texture of of a gummy worm. Sometimes the imagination conjures better magic than reality possibly could. :D

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! I can’t remember if cinnamon is a flavor you like or not…but we are having a Fiesta Friday at school tomorrow, and I made Churro Chex Mix!

1 box Rice Chex + 2 cups or so of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churro cereal

Churro Sauce

1½ cups packed light brown sugar

1½ sticks butter

6 tbsp light corn syrup

½ tsp baking soda

½ tsp salt

Churro Topping

1½ cups granulated sugar

6 tsp ground cinnamon

Melt the butter, add the brown sugar & corn syrup. Cook & stir until thick and barely bubbling. Stir in baking soda & salt. Cook 1 more minute.

Pour the Rice Chex in a pan lined with aluminum foil & sprayed with Pam. ( or cheat like I did and use a throw away pan) When the sauce is finished pour over the Chex cereal. Sprinkle with 1 cup of the cinnamon sugar. Bake in a 350 oven for 5 minutes, stir and bake 5 more minutes. When you remove it from the oven, add 2+cups of cinnamon crunch churro cereal and the rest of the cinnamon sugar mix. (This is definitely not diet friendly lol) I think it would be good with pecans, almonds, or cashews as well, but I know not everyone can enjoy nuts.

I'm extremely sensitive to cinnamon so for me a little goes a long way, but I love cinnamon toast crunch AND churros and this looks fucking BRILLIANT. Especially since Rice Chex is the superior of all the Chexes. I'm making a note to reblog this to Cookerbadge so that I make it at some point!

[benjhawkins]

As I was going through Charles Benson’s 1864 journal I came across a recipe for gingerbread that he had written down. It’s rare to come across a historical recipe written by a Black person that hasn’t been rewritten for white audiences. This is definitely a working man’s recipe for other working men. Compare it to any other gingerbread recipe you might be familiar with, or here’s a comparable 1868 recipe from “Mrs. Winslow”.

I halved the recipe but otherwise made it as Mr. Benson had written it. Molasses was the main sweetener for most working-class households in New England, and is the only sweetener in this cake. The lard is the only fat, and the leavening agents here are the sour milk (buttermilk) and (baking) soda. I baked it in a pie pan for about 40 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. It made for a very tender, lightly sweet and lightly spiced cake with a crispy top— very delicious!

[Transcription:

Ginger Bread

4 cups flour

2 “” molasses

1 “” sour milk

1 tablespoonfull of ginger

1/2 cup of Lard

1 teaspoonfull of soda]

[cookerbadge]

I checked the notes and didn’t see any discussion of how to combine the ingredients, so I thought I’d reblog with my procedure, both for reference and if people want it. I also halved the recipe. 

1/4 cup of lard

1 cup of molasses

1/2 cup buttermilk

Beat lard and molasses together until mostly incorporated, then add buttermilk; I didn’t have any buttermilk so I substituted a half cup of skim milk with a teaspoon of cream of tartar stirred into it. This mixture is a very runny light-brown concoction with small grains in it (the not-entirely-incorporated lard). 

2 cups flour

1 1/2 tsp ginger

1/2 tsp baking soda

Mix or sift dry ingredients; I didn’t have straight ginger, so I used cake spice (which contains ginger as well as cinnamon, star anise, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves). Add to molasses mixture in three additions, scraping down the bowl after each addition. If I’d been thinking about it I might have alternated adding the flour mixture and the buttermilk, which I’ve seen done, but it came out fine as-is.

The end result is a silky, thick batter that was very recognizable as cake batter. I poured it into a metal pie tin lined with parchment and baked in a convection oven at 350F (so actually at 325F) for 40 minutes. 

I haven’t tasted it yet -- the batter was a little porky, and I might use a mix of vegetable shortening and butter instead of lard next time -- but it smells and looks amazing. 

[passmustard]

Spiced Apple Honey Mustard

Enjoy this delicious Spiced Apple Honey Mustard recipe from Perdue.

Perdue has put out a new “thanksgiving” recipe for spiced apple honey mustard; they’ll be giving away bottles of their version if you buy their “thanksnuggets” going on sale later this week, but since those sold out in minutes last year, I’m just gonna DIY my mustard and be happy. 

[passmustard]

Don't let the name throw you off--these are hauntingly good cookies.

[cookerbadge]

Franks and Apples

From @nissus

From The Joy of Cooking by Irma S. Rombauer 1943 edition Frankfurters and Apples with Cheese 4 Servings Place in a baking dish:    8 frankfurters Spread them lightly with:    Mustard Cover them with:    3 tart apples peeled and very thinly sliced Sprinkle them with:    ¼ cup sugar, white or brown Bake them in a moderate oven 350° for about 20 minutes. Sprinkle the top with:    ½ cup grated cheese Bake or broil the dish until the cheese is melted. How we make it (differently from as stated in recipe): 1. Cut up the hot dogs into bite-size chunks and make a single layer on the bottom of the casserole dish. Can also use smoked sausage instead of hot dogs, still cut into chunks, is nice if they are browned in a fry pan first, but perhaps not totally necessary. 2. We normally use yellow mustard, but sweet-hot mustard is also good. 3. Any apples you like are fine, just peel, core, and slice. We usually use granny smith, but other kinds are good too. 4. Always brown sugar, and maybe not that much. Splenda-brown sugar mix is ok. 5. We use sliced cheese, usually American, but sometimes sharp cheddar. 6. We put the whole thing together at once including the cheese, then bake for about 30 minutes. Maybe with a lid on at first, and take it off towards the end.