hazels big tits creamy pasta:
ingredients:
enough onions (2 small ones per servingish)
enough garlic (3 or 4 cloves)
2 spring onions
chillies (whatever you have to hand but enough to survive contact with fuckloads of cream and still be spicy)
bacon (2 rashers per person typically? this is really only here because i like it but could almost certainly be skipped)
double cream (times lots)
blue cheese
pasta
butter (for frying)
recipe:
peel and dice onions roughly, peel crush and mince garlic, peel and slice spring onions into chunks, slice chillies. fry in butter til the onions are starting to brown
cut the bacon into small chunks (i normally use scissors here) add to the pan as you're frying
boil some salty water for your pasta :)
now add the cream to the frying pan bit by bit. reduce til the moisture is gone and it breaks into brown globs of fat and liquid and then add the next lot
while doing this add water from the pasta occasionally (this helps the sauce stick) (thanks starch)
once the pasta is cooked, turn out the heat to the frying pan and add the pasta and blue cheese
serve with pepper, salt, other such things
chef comments:
will this meal actually make your boobs bigger? probably not. Does that matter? no. a girl can dream
you could probably be less extreme about reducing the cream and keep some liquidy but i quite like it all lacking in moisture and it still gives the pasta a smooth texture :)
on veg: i love onions and garlic so put lots in. you could probably do less and still be very happy with the meal i suspect
boobs pasta REVISIONS AND UPDATES:
ingredients:
enough onions (2 small ones per person or like 1 big one)
enough garlic (3 or 4 cloves)
2 spring onions per person ish
chillies (whatever you have to hand but enough to survive contact with fuckloads of cream and still be spicy the way you like it to be. check this while you're cooking !)
bacon (2 rashers per person typically? if you dont have bacon to hand you will want to substitute it with something that can add a similar flavour to the dish)
double cream (times lots) (usually about 150ml per person)
basil (replacing the blue cheese)
pasta
butter (for frying)
splash of vodka (optional) this is because i stopped drinking and then got bought vodka and wanted to use it for something. not sure i notice a difference lol
Step 1)
peel and dice the onions. peel, crush and chop the garlic. rinse and possibly peel the spring onions, removing the top and tail before slicing. top and tail the chillies then slice. I include the pith and seeds because removing them is a) a pain and b) makes them less spicy
Step 2)
cut your bacon into roughly evenly sized chunks. these for me are usually around 2cmx2cm. Fry down the veg in butter till starting to brown and then add the bacon. DO NOT ADD THE BASIL YET but you can add other herbs here
Step 3)
get the kettle on love! <- this is for the pasta which you can measure out now. i usually go for ~100 grams per person. also add salt to the pan you are cooking your pasta in.
Step 4)
once the water is boiling, add your pasta and begin to cook it. by this point the veg and bacon should be cooked. Add the double cream and continue to cook until it is slightly thicker. draw off the heat for now.
Step 5)
Once the pasta is close to done or possibly even finished, add the basil (LOTS) to the sauce. add the pasta to the sauce and turn the heat back on. make sure to add some of the starchy water as this helps the sauce stick to the pasta
Step 6)
once the sauce has reached the right consistency (this is up to you but like. thick and creamy yk), you're ready to serve! i usually go for parmesan and black pepper but like. anything will do ig:)
