‘To Be So Lonely’ is literally the saddest and loudest Larry song and here’s why
First of all, all of this was fueled by this post on tiktok by @finelinemegs (thats her tiktok handle idk if she’s on tumblr or anything) so the credit really goes to her.
Ok so basically the groundbreaking realization that she unveils is how the background guitar trilling is supposed to be mimicking the phone line ringing when you’re calling someone and waiting to leave a voicemail - and really once you hear that, it’s all over.
The theory is, when the guitar is trilling in the background, imagine that as the voicemail being left by a drunk Louis during a fight right? (probably a pretty big one by the looks of it but we’ll get to that later). When the guitar is not trilling in the background, that’s what Harry’s feeling as he’s listening to the voicemail (if you’ve ever gotten a drunk VM from an ex [or anyone you were in a fight with really] you know the feeling of mentally responding to whatever they’re saying as you’re listening to the VM for the first time - H has done a really good job capturing that whole rollercoaster of emotions here)
[additionally, the reason we know its a vm that he received and not left for someone is because who the hell would remember the content of a drunken voicemail that they left for someone well enough to write a whole song about it, using what appears to be a lot of direct quotes? Not me that’s for sure, I can hardly remember the content of the voicemails I leave for people when I’m sober, but maybe that’s just a me problem]
Knowing this, the lyric “And I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry” makes SO much more sense, and it makes INFINITELY more sense why Harry thinks it’s SO hilarious that that is the line that everyone’s obsessed with and giggles almost every time he sings it (see here, here, here, here, and I’m sure plenty more times but it’s late and I need to get up early tomorrow). AND knowing that he’s the recipient of the voicemail that that line seems to be a direct quote from, we KNOW at the VERY LEAST that the voicemail was left by a man because we know Harry’s not the type to change pronouns just for the sake of singing it from the “right POV” (girl crush? juice? anyone? anyways).
So now that we’ve established that TBSL is a voicemail and response between Harry and Louis, lets get into the nitty gritty of the lyrics shall we? (we shall)
Don't blame me for fallin' I was just a little boy
Right off the bat we’ve got a reference to the x factor days. Even without being all 💙💚about it, who else could it be about? Who else would have had a relationship with since that person was a little boy? (or if you’re not past Harry saying at the Forum performance “why is it that when you think i’m calling myself an ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ that you sing the loudest?” and you think he’s singing it from his POV as the caller, who has he been in a relationship since he was a little boy?) The answer is Louis. It’s always Lou (hehe)
Don't blame the drunk caller Wasn't ready for it all You can't blame me, darling Not even a little bit I was away
And I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch Who can't admit when he's sorry
Next, we establish the POV of the caller (we’ve pretty much established this to be Louis right? or do I need to prove it further? no? ok good) aka associate the trilling of the guitar “line ringing” with the caller, and the absence of the guitar “line ringing” as something else. Then you have wasn’t ready for it all which is strangely reminiscent of what is said in too young, which we KNOW is written from Louis’ perspective about falling someone when you’re too young (perhaps just a little boy anyone?). Then there’s i was away - a reference to the strain of distance being the issue in the relationship? which is a common theme from songs/interviews from the early one direction days up to now.
Don't call me "baby" again You got your reasons I know that you're tryna be friends I know you mean it But don't call me "baby" again It's hard for me to go home and be so lonely
Next we have the entire tone shift of the song that suggests we’re switching from the caller to the recipient of the VM. You have the initial reaction of anger followed by the exacerbation of someone who’s been through this argument too many times already with someone who they’re very intimate with - they call the recipient “baby” multiple times but clearly the recipient (I’m just gonna say Harry and Louis from now on I know y’all get the picture) is not in the mood for pet names. Pet names, by the way, that we know Harry and Louis use with each other. Next we have the line that truly breaks my heart: we all know the association Larry have with the term home and everything it means to them (and if you don’t here’s an incredibly detailed post which has been posted on the @larryreceiptsproof blog as well as my own humble analysis just of the song here). Harry saying “its hard for me to go home and be so lonely” is HEARTBREAKING and has the same exact vibes as always you’s “I went from LAX to Heathrow, walked through my door, but it felt nothing like home, 'cause you're not home, waiting to wrap your legs around me”
I just hope you see me In a little better light Do you think it's easy Being of the jealous kind? 'Cause I miss the shape of your lips Your wit It's just a trick And this is it, so I'm sorry
This part is *chef’s kiss*. First of all, during the instrumental before the lyrics start (here) you hear the lighting of the match and then the flame being blown out in the background VERY faintly and then that’s followed by “i just hope you see me in a little better light”?? The SYMBOLISM!!! Does him blowing out the match/flame/light mean that his response is going to be that there’s no chance at Harry seeing Louis in a better light after what he’s done? Is it just him trying to bring attention to that line?? For what purpose?? why??? Next we have a reference to jealousy that we ALL know is a VERY common theme in the Larry discourse (if you don’t know, pls see this vid originally by @freddiesmyqueen ) Then we get to the shape of your lips which! we know Harry has VERY unique and pluSH lips (thank you to @dreamboaths for supplying most of those posts). The “your wit, its just a trick” line does confuse me a bit because Louis is generally known as the wittier one, but we do know that Harry does have his knack for stand up and maybe it being a ‘trick’ is a reference to its more of something he hides behind or something he can use to hide his true emotions?
Anyways the rest of the song continues on repeating the same lyrics I’ve already analyzed so no need for me to be redundant. BUT if anything, this will probably change the entire way you listen to this song and for that I apologize because I really used to be able to listen to it and not even think and now I’m probably gonna cry every time.
