*burps loudly*

🔴She/it🔴 I am so cool

[finder-plus]

[queen-zigzag]

[kaylmao]

op must have been on meatloaf and mashed potatoes when they posted this

[ewaneneollav]

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

[funeralcity]

(bashfully) so ive been growing little men in tubes...

[winged-void]

You've reached the omorashi hotline. Please Hold

[cutecipher]

sir please calm down i didnt "edit" crash bandicoot into your wedding pictures he was an invited guest

[commanderchr1st]

i went on the scooby doo diet where I just eat giant subs and processed biscuits and I gotta say im not feeling to

[s-leary]

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

"I'd say she knows a little more about sci-fi than you do, pal, BECAUSE SHE INVENTED IT!"

[paintedhen]

nobody makes spamton say hyperlink blocked in fanart anymore now they only make him say tenna im pregnant and it’s yours

[clumsypuppy]

what rhe fuck

[clumsypuppy]

oh my bad. continue

[hamthefunnyfish]

top 10 queen line i gotta say

[sunburnt-brian]

[sunburnt-brian]

[ornerycrab]

Go Mewtwo! Psychic Womb Attack Now!

[pattern-recognition]

if you choose to pay-in-5 a $80 Turkish 12g they might as well ship it with a single shell because it’s not going to be used twice

[pattern-recognition]

with a crisp $20 you could get the PSA suicide special and still have enough left over for the Del Taco kill yourself meal

[nanoraydx]

Sonic porn ground zero