I’m profoundly baffled by people who say Trump is a “religious person” just because he wants more people to say Merry Christmas. I saw this comment today on his Facebook page.
“Regardless if you agree with everything Trump does, it’s nice to see a president be sincere and open about his religious beliefs.”
This man has only been “religious” in times where it benefited him. I have not seen any indication that he takes his Christianity seriously. Nor do I think he is anything close to a “good Christian.”
Gluttony: His favorite meal is burnt steak with ketchup. His body is a temple.
Lust: Grab them by the pussy!
Greed: Gold plated toilets.
Pride: “Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest–and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault”
Sloth: Days after the crisis in Puerto Rico, Trump spent his weekend playing golf instead of working.
Wrath: “…when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch off the field right now, out, he’s fired! He’s fired!’”
Envy: President Obama had one of the biggest inauguration audiences ever seen. Trump… not so much. Despite this, Trump’s press secretary declared, “That was the largest audience to witness an inauguration, period. Both in person and around the globe."
Are these the lies of an envious man? I invite you to judge for yourself.
So we have the deadly sins covered. How about the commandments?
1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
A bit philosophical, but I would say Trump worships money and power before any deity.
2. You shall not make false idols.
Trump is his own idol. Evidenced by the fake framed Time magazines with him photoshopped onto the cover posted proudly in his golf resorts.
Many experts have claimed he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
"President Donald Trump says the Navy should ditch longstanding plans for electro-magnetic catapults for its aircraft carriers and go back to goddamned steam."
Ah yes, goddamned steam. The devil’s energy source.
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Instead of attending any kind of church, here is a lovely picture of Trump golfing… on a Sunday.
5. Honor your father and your mother.
He has honored his father by accepting a small loan of a million dollars, building up a fortune, making horrible business decisions, and eventually declaring bankruptcy six times. Some might say he tarnished the family name.
He has honored his mother by never really talking about her and pretending she barely exists.
"In Donald Trump’s first 7 months as President, we tracked 1,196 alleged incidents in which we assess at least 2,819-4,529 civilians died.”
He is on pace to out-drone Obama in his very first year.
7. You shall not commit adultery.
Sorry. I couldn’t contain myself on that one.
During divorce proceedings, Trump pleaded the fifth 97 times to avoid admitting to adultery. In his infamous Access Hollywood audio recordings he said, “I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married.”
He clearly takes marital bonds very seriously considering he has tied the knot 3 times
Trump stole $258,000 from his own charities to help settle legal disputes. He also took over his son’s charity for sick kids with cancer and used it to make profit.
He literally stole from kids with cancer.
9. You shall not bear false witness.
On average, Trump lies about 5 times per day. In his first seven months in office, he tallied a total of 1,057 false or misleading statements.
This commandment used to be about your neighbor’s house and his super cool donkey that was far better than your crappy ass. I’m not sure that applies to modern day coveting. For this commandment I decided to return to Time magazine. Trump has coveted being Time’s “Person of the Year” for quite some time. Some might say he is obsessed with it.
It all started back in 2012.
“I knew last year that @TIME Magazine lost all credibility when they didn’t include me in their Top 100.”
“The Time Magazine list of the 100 Most Influential People is a joke and stunt of a magazine that will, like Newsweek, soon be dead. Bad list!”
In 2015 they finally did put him on the cover. He seemed to change his tune a bit.
“On the cover of @TIME Magazine—a great honor!”
But then he changed his mind again.
“I told you @TIME Magazine would never pick me as person of the year despite being the big favorite. They picked person who is ruining Germany.”
His fellow super religious and non-creepy friend, Bill O'Reilly, backed him up.
“Thank you @oreillyfactor for your wonderful editorial as to why I should have been @TIME Magazine’s Person of the Year. You should run Time!”
After the 2016 election, Time finally gave in and named him “Person of the Year."
"Thank you to Time Magazine and Financial Times for naming me "Person of the Year” - a great honor!“
(Fun fact: Hitler also won in 1938!)
And that brings us to now, where Trump decides to "low-key” covet this “great honor.” Apparently he is much too busy getting people to say Merry Christmas to accept the award.
“Time Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named ‘Man (Person) of the Year,’ like last year, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!”
*cough* Bullshit! *cough*
And that is Donald J. Trump… impressive Christian role model.
In the spirit of Trump’s Christmas crusade, I invite you to look upon this hellscape beautiful Christmas scene with his lovely wife, Melania.
