And I'm speechless, starin' at you, standin' there, in that dress. || Zammy
WHO: @zachwilde, @corimmy
WHERE: Immy's house
WHEN: The 14th of November
WHY: Immy comes home with a present for Zach, and they have some big talks with Malea
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence.
Immy CortesImmy couldn't even express how proud she was of Zach for the news about his show. It was obvious to anyone who had seen it that it deserved to be made into a show and then some, but she beamed with pride whenever she thought about it, and thought about them. Her partner, her person, her love, and he was so incredible. She'd stopped on her way home from work to buy them a gift, though she didn't know how they'd feel about it. They'd discussed on Halloween how Zach wanted a little black dress, and Immy figured they'd want to pick one out for themselves, but as she drove by a little boutique, she couldn't quite stop herself, deciding that if they wanted to pick out their own, they could have two.
Walking in through the front door, she gave Malea a kiss, then Han a scratch on the head, before taking Zach's hand, "Come with me," She whispered, placing a kiss on their lips as well, before tugging them towards the bedroom. "I have something for you." She said, holding the wrapped box out to them once they were alone. She'd had the lady at the store wrap it in the prettiest gold wrapping paper she'd ever seen, with a giant, and intricate, hand tied bow in light pink ribbon around it. "If you don't like it, that's okay. I just saw it and I couldn't resist and I just wanted to get you something to celebrate you and how amazing you are and your amazing news. And I just-" She cut herself off, kissing him again, "I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you, of your work, and of who you are, and I just hope you know that."
zach wildeZach was thrilled when Immy pulled him into their bedroom, and even more so when she held out a present for him. The wrapping was done beautifully, and he grinned as he took it from her. He was about to ask what he'd done to deserve a present, but then she started talking. Love bloomed in his chest, and he couldn't help the fact that he already felt like crying. Whatever the present may be, he knew he would be crying soon. "Baby.." he smiled, immediately setting it on the bed so he could carefully open it, not wanting to mess up the wrapping at all.
When they finally opened it, they found a black dress inside. Zach gasped, and immediately held it up to look at it. Tears filled their eyes, and they just held it against their chest for a moment. They'd wanted a dress for awhile now, but had just been too afraid to buy one. They also had this fear that Immy wouldn't want to see him in a dress - which was ridiculous but an anxiety of theirs nonetheless. "I don't know what to say," Zach breathed out, laughing happily as tears fell down their cheeks. They wrapped their arms around Immy, holding her close and then kissing her several times. "God, I love you. You're fucking perfect, you know that? I don't deserve you, or this. This is so thoughtful, Im.." They couldn't help their smile as they lifted it up again. "Should I try it on?"
Immy CortesShe watched him, her hand on her face to try to contain her smile. She stepped closer, letting them pull her in before wiping their tears away. “You deserve the world, baby. You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted, and all of the things that you haven’t even thought to want yet. When I said that I’m so proud of you, I mean it. I am so proud of everything single piece of who are, and I am so proud that I get to call you mine, and that you trust me enough to tell me things like how you’ve always wanted a dress.” She sat on the bed in front of them, “I am so in awe of you, or who are you, despite everything. I love you so much.”
She nodded when they asked if they should try it on, “Yeah, I mean I’d be a little offended if you didn’t. But if you don’t like the style or anything, that’s okay! I wasn’t really sure what your style is and I figured if you didn’t like this one we could return it and go together so you can pick out one that you do like. “
zach wildeZach immediately started taking off his clothes, ready to try on the dress already. He couldn't stop grinning as he slipped into the dress, already feeling a sense of euphoria that he couldn't quite explain. It felt good. He let out an excited laugh, but felt somewhat nervous to turn towards Immy to show her. Zach turned slowly anyway, blush hot on his cheeks. "How do I look?" He asked quietly, hoping that even though she had bought this for him, that she would like how he looked in it.
They walked over towards the mirror to look at themselves, and they were taken aback. Their muscles stood out against the dress, and it really made their arms look big. The thing was, though, looking the way they did in a dress was exactly what made them feel euphoric. "Holy shit, I'm hot, aren't I?"
Immy CortesImmy stayed quiet as Zach changed into the dress, wanting to see their reaction before giving her own, she didn’t want to influence the way they felt in anyway. It was hard to keep her reaction neutral when they asked how they looked, but as Zach walked to the mirror, Immy couldn’t help her own tears from escaping her.
Coming up behind them, she reached out for Zach’s hand, not wanting to invade the image in the mirror so he could fully enjoy it but just so he knew she was there. “You look incredible,” she finally said, wiping her tears away with her free hand. “And you look happy, and definitely hot.” Finally she stepped closer, one hand cupping their cheek as she kissed them. “I’m so in love with you.”
zach wildeZach felt a range of emotions, but the one that he was most focused on was how much he loved Immy. It was such an incredible thing to be loved by her - she saw him, and not many people had. Thinking back to his past relationships, none of them had ever held a candle to this. He was sure that no one had ever loved him like this, and he felt like the luckiest man alive because of it. There were more tears falling, and when she kissed him, he completely leaned into it. Zach smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her as close as possible.
"Halloween felt good, but this is... different. This is more me. I don't know if I'll be confident enough to wear this out of the house yet, but... Fuck, babe. I love you so much. Do you know what this means to me?" They asked her, tears filling their eyes once again. Zach turned towards the mirror, Immy standing next to them now. It felt empowering to see them standing there together like that, and they couldn't help the grin on their face. "This is the happiest I've felt in a really long time, I hope you know that."
Immy CortesImmy just let Zach talk, she didn’t want to interrupt, just wanted them to process their emotions. She’d never been in a position like this to know how they were feeling, but she wanted to be as supportive as possible. Immy gave them one more kiss before moving towards the closet, “A dress like that needs accessories,” she said, opening her jewelry box and pulling out a few different necklaces for Zach to choose from. “I don’t think I have any rings or bracelets that will fit you, but we can always buy some.” She said before stepping further into the closet and coming back with a sheer black shawl the go over his shoulders.
Stepping back into the view of the mirror she held the necklaces up, choosing one with a longer chain, and a pendant with white and black diamonds that would land a couple inches above the neckline of the dress. She walked behind them, clasping the necklace on, and then wrapping the shawl around his arms just below his shoulders. “We’ll have to get you some shoes, too.” Immy stood on her toes so she could place a kiss against their bare shoulder. “You like this dress was made for you, baby. And if you don’t want to wear it out of the house yet, or ever, that’s okay. And if you do want to wear it out of the house, then I’ll be so proud to stand next to you while you do.” She hoped she was assuring them that they had nothing to be ashamed of, if Aaron’s voice was running through head right now that he was dead wrong. “Should we show Malea?” She asked, biting her lip, “Or are you not ready for that yet? It’s totally up to you, baby.”
zach wildeZach had never had a safe space like Immy. Sure, she was a person, but she was his safe place. There was nowhere else that Zach had felt like he could truly and completely be himself other than with Immy by his side. She started adorning him with different accessories, and he just sat there as if he was a doll and was more than happy to just let her do what she thought was best with the dress. He finally looked at himself with everything that Immy had added and grinned. "This definitely makes the whole outfit. If it weren't for you, I would've just worn the dress. Actually, if it weren't for you.. I would've never gotten the dress." He let out a shiver when she kissed his shoulder. He wondered what would happen if Aaron would ever see him like this -- he knew that he would beat him bloody, to the point where no one would recognize him. Honestly, Zach was sure that he'd kill him. He shook himself out of his thoughts, realizing that throughout this whole thing he'd been rather quiet. He was taking in this feeling and enjoying every single second of it. Aaron didn't need to be on his mind, not at all.
At the mention of Malea, Zach perked up. All thoughts of not being good enough, not looking good enough in the dress and Aaron dissipated. "God, I've love to show her, are you kidding?" Before they left the room, though, they wrapped their arms around Immy and kissed her. They let it linger, just holding her close. "I'm so in love with you. I hope you know that. I've never felt more myself with anyone in my entire life. I feel.. god," Zach laughed, blushing a bit. "Beautiful. That might sound stupid."
He made his way out of the room, going towards the living room where Malea had been playing. "Wanna see something crazy?" Zach asked, and she finally looked up and took in his appearance. He felt more confident around her, and so he did a spin and started posing for her. "Your mommy got me a dress. I feel so pretty. What do you think about it?"
Immy Cortes
She kissed him back happily, wanting nothing more than them to feel this happy every day. It was what she wanted more than anything, was Zach - and Malea of course - to spend the rest of their lives happy. “It doesn’t sound stupid. You look beautiful, and even more than that, you are beautiful, inside and out, you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.”
Immy followed behind Zach quietly to the living room, grinning at Malea when she looked up. Malea narrowed her eyes at Zach, more in confusion than anything, and without a hint of malice in her voice she giggled. “You look so pretty, Zachy! I didn’t know boys could wear dresses, though!” She shrugged, looking at Immy, “How come boys never wear dresses to school?” She asked.
Immy made her way to Malea sat on the floor and slid down next to her. “Well, boys can wear dresses if they want, but sometimes some people don’t like when boys wear dresses. Those people are stinky and we don’t like them.” Immy scrunched up her nose, “Everyone should be able to wear whatever they want as long as they’re covering all of their private parts.” Immy let out a sigh, pulling Malea into her lap, hoping that Malea would understand the conversation they were about to have, and hoping Zach would jump in if Immy said anything wrong.
Immy took two pieces of Maleas coloring paper and laid them out in front of them, leaving a large space between them. “But you know what, Zach isn’t really just a boy, did you know that?” And Malea rolled her eyes, “I know, because he’s a grown up so he’s a man.” Immy let out a soft laugh and nodded, “You’re right but that’s not really what I mean. See there are girls,” she said, plopping some of the crayons Malea had been using down on one piece of paper, and then some more on the other “And there are boys. And when we’re born we get put into or the other, but sometimes when we get older, we start to realize that maybe girl or boy isn’t what feels right for us. So sometimes people who were out in the girl category realize that actually they feel more like a boy, or sometimes boys will realize they feel more like girls. And sometimes some people feel like they’re more in the middle somewhere.” Immy moved crayons back and forth on the papers as she explained, now laying a few throughout the space in the center. “Some people feel like they’re a boy and a girl, or maybe that they’re neither, or maybe that they’re mostly a boy but some parts of being a girl make more sense to them.” She looked down to make sure Malea was following as she tried to simplify it as much as possible. “Zachy was told he was a boy when he was born but sometimes he feels like more in the middle. So boys can wear dresses, and sometimes people who feel in the middle wear dresses, too.”
Immy stopped there, trying to let Malea take it in before she continued. Malea looked up at Zach, her head tilted to one side as she tried to understand everything Immy had just said. “But you said that if I wanted you to be my Daddy that you would be, but you can’t be my Daddy if you’re not a boy, can you?”
zach wildeZach had been grateful that Immy had taken the lead with answering the questions first. He listened intently to all the questions Malea had asked, and even moreso when Immy had answered them. He stood there, falling more in love with her than he ever thought that he could. He watched as she used crayons to explain gender, and smiled as he saw Malea take in all the information. Everything that Immy had said was perfect. When Malea finally directed a question at him, he slowly went to his knees so that he could sit with them on the floor. He wasn't used to moving around in a dress and he had no idea how to sit properly.
"I can always be your Daddy," Zach told her, reaching out so they could move the hair out of her face. "Everyone's different. Maybe someone who felt like me wouldn't want to be called Daddy, but I would. I would like that a lot, actually." The fact that she asked had meant a lot to them - they wondered if it was something that possibly was on Malea's mind lately. "For me, I feel mostly like a boy. But also a little bit of the middle, like your mommy said. And sometimes I just want to wear a pretty dress. Like now," they gestured to themselves, smiling. "Do you have any other questions for me, sweetheart?"
Immy CortesImmy could only hope that what she said to Malea was right, and was grateful when Zach spoke. Malea nodded at Zach’s answer, seeming satisfied that she could still call them her dad if she wanted. She shrugged when asked if she had any other questions, “I think you look pretty in a dress.” She said, though it wasn’t a question, Immy smiled, giving her a kiss on the top of her head. “Wait!” She shouted, standing quickly from Immy’s lap and running down the hall to her room. Immy watched after her, curious when she’d be back.
Immy scooted closer to Zach, kissing them deeply and hoping they were still feeling just as confident in their dress now as they did looking in the mirror. Malea came stumbling back into her room with a tiara and big clip on dress up earrings, “If you want to look pretty you have to go all out.” Immy couldn’t help but laugh at how similar Malea sounded to herself just a few minutes before. Malea placed the tiara on Zach’s head and then added the earrings.
“That’s very nice of you, Malea. Zach looks great, don’t they?” And Malea nodded, sitting back in Immy’s lap now. “Hey, can I ask you something, Malea?” She asked, one hand reaching out to squeeze Zach’s hand now. “Why did you ask if you could still call Zach your daddy if you wanted to? Is that what you want to call him Daddy instead of Zachy?” Malea looked from Immy to Zach and back at Immy again. “Well, I do want him to be my Daddy, but I also like that you’re my Zachy, but I always wanted a Daddy, and Zachy is the best and would be the best Daddy.”
zach wildeZach just sat there as Malea adorned him with a tiara and clip-on earrings, the grin on his face starting to make his cheeks feel sore. His mind was still on the fact that she asked if he could still be his Daddy, but he chuckled anyway. "Thank you, sweetie. I look much better now. Maybe you can do my make up and nails one day?" He offered, and when Immy reached out to hold his hand, he intertwined their fingers together, tugging her a little bit closer to him. He was thankful that Immy had brought it up again, but wasn't expecting Malea's answer. She wanted him to her Daddy. He let go of Immy's hand and scooped Malea into his arms, giving her the biggest hug in the world. He laughed at her confusion, but he didn't care.
Finally, Zach put her down and then kissed the top of her head. "Malea, there's nothing more that I want than to be your Daddy. You know, I'll always be your Zachy even when I'm your Daddy. That's never going to change, okay?" Zach looked over at Immy, hoping that they were saying the correct things. "You can call me both. Daddy and Zachy. Even Daddy Zachy if you like that. How does that sound, baby?" There were tears in their eyes, and their voice was a little wobbly, but they hoped that Malea didn't notice. Everything in their life was so perfect, and they couldn't ask for anything more - this right here, this was what Zach had always wanted.
Immy CortesImmy watched in silence as Zach spoke to Malea, pulling her knees up to chest and hugging herself to try and keep from crying. There was no one in the world that would make a better father than Zach, to anyone. And this was a thing that Immy almost never even let herself dream of, finding someone who loved Malea as much as she did, but Zach absolutely did. He loved her from the moment he met her, and Immy felt like deep down she knew Zach was meant to be Malea’s father.
Still, the decision was Malea’s, and while she’d prompted her by asking, she wasn’t going to encourage her one way or another, she only wanted Malea to be comfortable. Malea seemed to be thinking for a while after Zach spoke. “Hey bug, there’s no wrong answer, okay. You can call Zachy whatever feels right to you, okay?” Malea nodded, her eyes darting between Immy and Zach. “I just think that I just only want to call you Daddy. I still want you to be my Zachy but I don’t want to call you Zachy. Is that okay?”
zach wildeZach couldn't help himself, and the tears immediately started falling. She wanted to call him Daddy. Just Daddy. He nodded, outwardly crying. "I'm sorry, honey. These are happy tears. You can call me daddy and I'll still be your Zachy. Whatever you want, okay?" He wiped away the tears, and brought her in for another hug. He wrapped his arms around her, and then motioned Immy to join them in a group hug. "Family group hug," Zach said, a wide smile on his face. He held both of his girls close, knowing that nothing else in the world could make him this happy. He had already viewed Malea as a daughter, but her accepting him as a dad - that meant the world to him. More than anything.
Immy CortesImmy didn’t hesitate to join the hug, wrapping her arms around both of them. She hadn’t expected tonight to go this way, but who could have expected this? It was beyond her wildest dream. Twice night she’d seen a look on Zach’s face of pure happiness, and she would do anything she could to keep seeing them look like that. She gave Zach a kiss, before kissing Malea on the top of her head. “This is the perfect family.” She whispered, resting her head against Zach’s shoulder, unwilling to pull away from either of them just yet.
You deserve a calm relationship that's good for your mental health, heart, and nervous system. A lover who's your bestie, your safe space, and soothes your soul during stressful situations. Life is tough enough – you deserve someone who brings you peace, not problems.
Well finally I have finished the first draft of the final book of my series, the relief but fear of that being done. I can't believe my first ever book series is almost complete. I honestly am going to miss writing this series because it has been a dream.
What is something productive everyone has done recently? Also random and unrelated what is on your Christmas lists?
I had the weirdest dream. Something about a haunted mansion and cults and witches. That's enough coffee before bed for me. Did anyone else have any fucked up post Halloween dreams, or just me?
I didn't have any messed up post Halloween dreams, but that does sound kind of fitting for the season. Was it a scary dream, because I could see that being scary or kind of fun, depending on the vibe.
Okay, I think it's time we address the elephant in the room... How and why do you all think I'm most likely to be a surprise killer?! What kind of killer energy do I give off? I would love to know the logic.
All the Priv individuals are posing for a sexy calendar. Which person would you want to be the pinup for your birth month?
I want every month to be a picture of Zach. And I actually don't care that every question I get like this makes me sound like a sappy, love struck, clingy girlfriend. Keep sending them, I'll make it worse. @zachwilde
I didn't... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to doubt anyone. Just doesn't feel like a warm welcome. But then again I did disappear for so long without a word, so that's on me. Thanks Immy.
I meaaaaan you're cool too. Love u, never change. But yeah I'm talking about Malea. I wanna teach her how to do a cartwheel then buy her a sundae bigger than her face then send her home to you, what do u think?
I think it sounds like you two will have a great night and I'll be needing some wine after bedtime. But yes, Jax is coming for dinner tomorrow, I think, but you could come, too, then take her for ice cream, or she can be all yours on Sunday, you tell me.
Perfect. I leave my house enough during the day, if I can not leave it in my downtime and get you here, it's a win-win. Also perfect. It's okay, it's your thing to tell to whoever and whenever you want to. I don't know what they looked like as a teenager so I can't speak on that, but definitely hot now. Does Malea like him? That determines whether I like him for you or not.
Malea loves him, like wants to spend all of her time with them, talks about them when they're not around, would probably choose to save him over me if there was a fire.
Okay, so what I'm hearing is that technically Zach got her a dog and that's a lot of brownie points for them in my book. Im you could not keep me away from dinner if you tried, what time do you want me to come over, and should I bring dessert? I miss you both too, like so much, I can't wait to see you!
Zach got themself a dog, and now they're sharing him. But yeah, he gets all the brownie points, from me and Malea, and you too, I guess. What about tomorrow night? 6:30? Dessert would be great, whatever you think Malea will be shove her face into.
JAX: Yeah, okay, fair enough
JAX: I... I don't know. I'd say sympathy, but lbr it was a dumbass impulsive idea and I deserve to be mocked and shamed for it
JAX: Amazing!!! I really hope they can make it, but I'll be so excited to see any and all of you even if they can't
JAX: I hope so, I'm delightful
Immy, I can't imagine what it's like to have an entire child to be responsible for, let alone everything else you have to do. I have so much respect for you and your brain.
@corimmy replied to your post “What's your biggest fear in a relationship?”:
And you don't have to worry about a single one of those things now. I know that that won't make you stop worrying, but eventually, hopefully, you'll be able to stop worrying.
I'm gonna get there, babe. It's gonna take a lot of work, but I will. Don't worry, though, this is the most steady and sure I've ever felt in my entire life.
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