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@corneliuswinterbourne-blog
Zeros and Ones.
We were born in a time that allowed us to watch technology, phones and the internet flourish. Then people always tell us to get off our phones and talk. But when we talk about our social issues they say "another member of the entitled generation". No wonder we don't talk to you, you don't want to listen.
The world is still, Though the sounds are loud, A bird sings, To drown the engines around.
I 100% shouldn't have done that.
I shouldn't have read my year 12 year book. I should have stopped. Especially before I read H's message Flooding me with regret.
If ever you are concerned with mankind's importance. Remember, we cannot see the wind yet it can still knock us over. If ever you're struggling remember also, the winds strength is not in the breeze but the hurricane.
The meteor shower.
I look at the stars and they shone with such brightness. The world slowed to a stop. Every breath became louder. Every thought became jarring. As the lights began to streak, For the meteor shower. I broke away from those eyes and realised - It was all lies.
I miss the sense of belonging.
I didn't want to be with you like that, and I had to let you move on; but I do miss that as your friend I felt I belonged - that I was ok.
I have nothing to say, but I feel I should.
There she was, Legs touching, closer than ever, But feeling further away. He closes his swag, And imagines a day, When her arms are back around him.
Tucking himself in tight at night, So something feels close.
"Honey, I'm home" he cried, As his words echoed, And he realised he was desperately alone. Cornelius Winterbourne
college kids be likeā¦
More like highschool kids be likeā¦.
Full time workers be like...
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for more relationships pictures, go to: http://relationshipsblogs.tumblr.com
3AM
These moments are weird, you just can't sleep. Lie with your thoughts and see what you meet. I feel strange lately. Like something of me is lost. I don't know if I'm sad, I don't think so, or lonely. The truth is at this point in my life I have more friends than I've had for a long time. So it can't be loneliness. Surely. Travelling changed me. I was at ease and enjoying myself. Even in those moments though there were days when I just felt, different. Like it didn't matter where I was, my brain didn't want me to enjoy it. I did. I truly did enjoy every day, some days were just more than others. The concept of more in this context can only be described as flow. The days that were more felt like water rolling down a slope, it was easy, there was no effort involved. That was more. The days that weren't more were like a hexagonal wheel, it moved and rolled but needed a lot more effort to get it going and a lot less to stop it. I like the more days a lot. Now I'm home and these last two days have been less days. I'm going away on the weekend and I've lost my spark, my excitement. It's 3AM and I'm awake. The oddest thing is, I could generally pick my thoughts on these days, it was the lack of her in my life that triggered it, but this time it's not. This time has no trigger, no thought process, no easy bridge to cross. I think I need to go hiking and camping somewhere. Take my camera, my paper, my pen and my mind and take some time reconnecting and thinking. I want my more back.
This morning I saw a post about a young boy of 11 who was having "friendship issues" at school and developed depression. Which got me thinking about this quote from Andy Warhol I saw while perusing one of his exhibitions the other day and dissecting the words a little. Ultimately, the sentiment is true if everyone liked everyone, the world would be a happier place. Is that possible though? People are different, personalities chafe, we all have failed relationships and friendships attesting to that. So maybe everyone can't like everyone. Sad, but potentially true. Although what if we change the way in which we like, or even the meaning we apply to the word 'like' a little. Like is a way to compare traditionally, not necessarily feel. We generally like people when they share our ideals, humour, or lifestyle and are therefor comparable. What if we made like into a more respectful meaning than an endearing one. (That's not to say people who share nothing in common with us can't be liked by us. Sometimes the differences create that of endearment.) That way friendships and liking don't necessarily bundle into the same party. You could like someone, respecting their place in the present time, day, place, yet realise you don't have comparable qualities and your lives probably won't intersect again. Shoot them a smile. Send them a pleasantry and be on your way. I used to think that faking pleasantries to people you didn't like was false and pointless but as I've grown that view has changed. As I grew I removed the word hate from my serious vocabulary (it slips out sometimes but infrequently). Hate has serious connotations and a lot of negativity, it takes everything from you to hate something, as apposed to loving something which generally gives you everything back. Hate takes away and love replaces in a simple and common understanding. So what if I see someone I don't like, or even someone I don't know. If I shoot them a smile, a good morning or a wave. No one has lost anything there but the potential gain is great. So liking isn't about being friends. Liking for me is beginning to feel like an understanding not an emotional situation as such. Another saying that seems to fly around, "everyone is fighting their own battles", my battles and yours aren't the same, but when I truly allow myself to understand you have your own, my ability and want to be at the least amicable if not open to getting to know you better, grows. I am not innocent in this. I've made off the cuff comments that could be taken as mean, I've judged and said things that I feel so glad they didn't overhear them. So this will be my goal, to work towards making my life transparent. Get rid of the negative things and replace them with positive things and see how much better my world feels, then maybe if we all did, everyone world may feel a little bit better. A little bit brighter. Just a little more lovely. So like everyone, it doesn't mean you'll know each other forever, but you may change their life (or yours) the same amount in a second as great friends do in a lifetime.
Her.
I find myself awake in the morning, too early. Haunted with thoughts of you. Thereās something in the way I feel. When trapped between dream and reality. As if Iām at the top of a roller coaster. Such intense happiness and excitement. But then I wake and the roller coaster, has stopped. And Iām lying here alone in the dark.
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