CosmicPandas

I am a panda..and I am cosmic.

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January 13th

 I don't really have a reason to post today. Nothing is really going on besides finals. And we are so close to finishing Les Miserables. I am very excited to actually be in front of an audience.

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January 7th

  Well! Happy to see you guys again! (well sorta...cant actually see you :P) Haha so i guess a lot has gone down. Well sort of a lot. I don't really know.

  Anyway so my boyfriend went off on my best friend....again. I quite tired of this. Im just glad they didn't involve me this time. Well they both tell me everything about it, but don't include me...which I'm happy about. I just getting really tired of this crap. I worry about things sometimes. 

  Oh my god....ok so this passing Saturday....we had a 12 HOUR rehearsal for Les Miserables! It was ALL DAY! God I was so tired after that! Haha. 

  I have started drawing again. I don't know if I should post anything on her yet because Im not very good. Im OK i guess...but Im not the best.

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NEW YEARS 2015!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!! It's finally 2015! Although I'm happy that i made it through another year without mentally killing myself, there are a few things i need to get off of my chest. 

So i had a few things planned for this weekend before school started again. I was going to hang out with one of my best friend because i missed her birthday party, i was going to go see Into the Woods, go to the flea market and sell things with my friend, and then....rehersals came up. Rehearsals for Les miserables. As much as i love that show with all my heart and soul, i swear...it's going to be the death of me. I have had a break from it for 2 weeks because of Christmas break, and now i have a 12 hour rehearsal on Saturday....and I have had to change or cancel about 3-4 plans because of it. And it makes me over the top angry, i am having to change my WHOLE schedule because of ONE STUPID DAY! Don't get me wrong, I love the drama team, I love the directors and my fellow actors and actresses, but our rehersing schedule shouldn't be like that. It shouldn't be to where they give us a break, then pull us from things we might just have planned for one stupid 12 hour rehearsal that should probably only be maybe 3-5 hours long.

So thats my rant....i think I'm done...yeah, I'm done.

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December 31st

HELLU!!! So I'd have to say....im kinda liking this past year. Excluding all the drama I've been through and all the crap, I think it's finally getting better. We are finally going into the new year and I think things are starting to look up. Although I had the weirdest dream last night. I was hanging out with my best friend and my boyfriend, we were all happy and all giggly, and all of a sudden my boyfriend kisses him (best friend), and I'm off to the side like....what in the hell just happened? Then i woke up. It was weird. Then i was marrying my boyfriend and Vanilla Ice shows up...weird right? I don't know...whatever.

So my grandparents came over to have "Christmas" with us, and i got a HUGE TARDIS! I didn't even see that coming. It has shelfs on the inside and it makes me super happy. I also got a galaxy curtain for my bedroom wall, and we painted the borders in my room. We had fun :). 

I do miss my boyfriend a whole lot though, i haven't seen him in a week and a half and I'm freaking out, because i just want to be with him. I really don't think anyone knows or understands how much i love him. A lot of people say "at least you have love". But when you have it, and it's not around you, you die inside. Its the hardest thing ever. 

ANYWAY thats my story of the week! HAPPY NEW YEAR AND GOODNIGHT!

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Christmas 2014!!!!

 Merry Christmas!!!! Today was.....(you'll never guess!) CHRISTMAS! I had a pretty good day. I mean...i haven't seen my boyfriend in over a week. To be honest, i miss him...ALOT. Not being able to see your boyfriend that you've had for 10 months for a week is too long. Im DYING! So anyway, today my family and I went to my cousins house. I had a pretty good time. I got a buttload of makeup today. It was crazy. First of all...my dad brought home a mac because we have a TOTALLY outdated family computer. Im dead tired. I just got home and now I want to go to sleep, but you know.....thats everyday for me anyway. Theres not much to say. 

  Well actually a few days ago my boyfriend and i got in n argument about my best friend. About me being to clingy. And to be honest....im really not anymore. We actually used to be very clingy, but we've stopped now cuz i have a boyfriend and we never se each other anymore, so my  boyfriend reacted over nothing. Anyway i don't blame him, if I had a boyfriend that extremely clingy to his (girl) friend, id want them to take a step away too. Whatever, i guess it's just a relationship thing. Anyway Goodnight folks, and Merry Christmas!! :D

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December 14th

It's 7 days....yeah (since i last posted). So my parents have no clue that my boyfriend and I are dating. Well because we broke up (but we got back together) and my parents want me to get together with my best friend. They don't want me with my boyfriend. So yeah...thats a bummer. Its gonna be hard to see him over christmas break...i probably won't be able to. I feel very sad. 

 We were texting last night and he brought it to my attention, that we are not compatible whatsoever. And i kind of find that hard to believe because we've been through so much ya know? So yeah I started freaking out. I still love him so much. I just don't understand how we could be so incompatible  and have been together for almost 10 months now. Yes we've had problems. But we didn't let that stop us from being together. So that's why i have a hard time understanding why we could still be so in love with each other yet...be so wrong for each other.

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December 7th

 I need a reminder to do this stuff i swear. Anyway so this week hasn't been so bad...other than the fact that my best friends still upset. My boyfriend has started walking me ALL the way to my 6th period (he usually doesn't). And i don't really want him to because that's the only time of the day i get to talk to my best friend. Now I don't even get to because my boyfriend gets in the way. He has also been bullying my best friend because he knows that he likes me....so i texted him 6th period and told him to stop because I thought he had enough...and after that, the rest of the day he seemed kind of upset. I kinda have  history of taking my best friends side. It's not like I try to hurt him. I just try to think of what it SHOULD happen. Like instead of bullying...just ignore the guy. It's hard enough i have a best friend AND a boyfriend who hate each other. Sometimes things like this just don't work out like i plan.

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December 3rd

 I recently forgot to start posting again. Im not used to picking up habits like keeping up with a blog yet. I just had my braces fixed today and boy do my teeth hurt. My head hurts. And I'm on my time of the month. Can this week get any worse?!?!?

 Ok...so it can. My best friend has been upset all week, and I haven't been able to cheer him up. I have no honest clue what to do. People just drive me insane. I am a pinch away from just running away from all people and all things JUST to get time to myself. I fell asleep in 2nd period today, and on the floor too. There has been testing my classroom so my class has been hanging out in the gym. I have no where to sit because everybody took up all the seats, so I sit on the floor. I got really tired so I just kinda played my head on my backpack and slept on the floor. I actual fell asleep too! And one of my friends kicked my foot to wake me up.  

 Someone just save me from this hell hole. I wanna get out of here NOW!

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November 30th

 Hey guys! I forgot to update yesterday, but I'm doing it today. I was at a tech build for my show "Les Miserables" yesterday building the set. It was a very long day so i forgot to do all of this. Anyway...so today was my lazy day. Yep. I did not do anything what so ever! And I'm very glad that I didn't, because i was hurting today. Physically mostly, but emotionally as well. My boyfriend still hasn't texted me. But at least Ill see him tomorrow. It's been a whole week. I miss him more than anything. But since I just started my TOM, I've been having really bad aches around my whole body...so I mostly stayed in bed all day. I ate in my room,i did everything in my room...just everything was lazified. HAH! It's lame that i laugh at my own jokes, but someone has to do it right?

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November 28th

 WHATS UP WORLD?!?! It's me again! With ANOTHER update. Starting off the day i went to go see Big Hero 6. (really? Why at night?) I don't know...mom's idea. This movie...was SO cute! It was also really sad....i don't wanna spoil it, so I'm not gonna talk about it. Anyway after i got home, i played Alice Madness Returns. I don't know why, i just got the game and I'm already obsessed! I now want Bioshock. I hear my friends talk about it a lot, so i wanna give it a try. It looks and sounds AWESOME!

 So my best friend came over today again, to work on our duet for drama. We ended up watching MORE Doctor Who (he needs to catch up. He kinda started late), and played MORE guitar....because for some reason that's the only thing we do. I don't know.

 My boyfriend didn't text me at all today and Im getting really worried. Ive texted him freaking out about where he is, because he won't respond. So finally he texted me after i got out of the shower, and said that he was fine, he was just in a bit of trouble, i texted him back asking him what he did. He hasn't responded. I want to know whats happened or I'm gonna freak. Oh lord save me now!

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2014!!!!

 Hey! Its Thanksgiving! All that yummy turkey and mash potatoes and....mmmmm gravy. Personally, my favorite is the chocolate. This lady brought some, and it was DELICIOUS! My family is kind of food crazy, not that every other family isn't, but I'm saying my family is....CRAZY! We decided to go to my  cousins house for thanksgiving this year. My cousin brought his girlfriend, and this lady brought her son and daughter and the daughter boyfriend. Let's just say i met a lot of new people. That's usually how it is when we come over. We also brought my dog. I don't think anybody really knows if my dog and my cousins dog ever actually get along. They always seem so mad at each other. 

 Oh and my mom just decides to tell everyone my boyfriend business. She makes me very upset sometimes. 

 So my boyfriend and I were talking and last night he got caught talking to me (his mom didn't know we started talking again). And so he finally told her. She didn't get as upset as i thought she would. Hopefully she doesn't end up threatening me again. In a way, I'm glad she knows now, because we were having to hide everything. Our parents don't actually know that we are dating again though. That's the only thing we have to hide. But....yeah.

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Hello to the very few people who actually care. This blog....it's special. It's so special that nobody even cares. That's how special it is. But you know how life is. This blog is just to get my feelings out. Maybe get some things out there. Talking out things really helps, especially when nobody knows who you actually are. You are just talking to people who dont know you're identity, and it's just wonderful when people actually start to care. Now I'm not saying that hopefully people start to care about this. Its just a venting blog. So i don't care who cares. Its a shit blog...imma admit it. Anyway....my special blog.....my special people...the crazy ones....thanks to the few who actually follow me.