your world is precious

kt. she/her. 26. minors dni. sideblog.

[cowboydk]

kt. 26. she/her

about me. masterlist. fic recs.

i write for ateez & seventeen! i also reblog fic recs here! my main blog (stephaniesdrake) is where i follow/like from! (i also reblog kpop on there!)

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(divider credit.)

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | two.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 4.3k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, very much giving slow burn till chapter 5 (sawwie hehe but san/oc drop more hints in ch 3-4), mingi tryna be matchmaker but san's mind is elseeewhere (which will add a lil more spice to the spice thats already planned lol), flashback scene that involves crying & hints of infidelity

"Wow, there's a lot more people here than I expected." You tippy-toe to look over the crowd, falling in line to get your freebies at the entrance of the winter quarter welcome event.

"Do you know where the boys are at?"

"They said they were coming?" Eunchae says, also looking around and over the crowd. The line inches quickly, bringing you closer to the free university-branded hats and water bottles they were giving out. Today's event was not only to set the tone for the quarter, but to showcase all the student groups, benefits, and wellness programs available for everyone. As soon as you grab your freebies, you, Eunchae and Jurin completely forget about the boys making their way over and start walking around to grab more. You find that one of the student groups is handing out reusable bags, which you gladly take one in order to walk around comfortably. You, Jurin and Eunchae also participate in a few small games and raffles, taking pictures at the photobooths set up. Some university staff snap photos of you three while you wait in line to cash in your free lunch voucher at one of the food trucks. 

Once you've grabbed your food and settled down, the three of you find a good space on the lawn near the stage to slowly indulge in your food and the dessert. Namjoon is getting ready to start his speech for the event, while the other professors set to give a small talk are hovering off to the side engaging in conversation.

"Yo! Is anyone listening?" Professor Kim Namjoon, department chair of bioengineering, taps the mic a few times as he steps on the stage. He slowly paces around with a hand in his pocket, giving off a smile while he waits for everyone near the stage to quiet down and listen to his little speech. "Nice, nice. I'm grabbing attention, I still got it." He chuckles to himself. "Anyway, they had me come up here to kick off the welcome event. There's a good lineup of talks coming up, so please stick around for that. I promise it'll be worthwhile." Namjoon points to San. "Choi San is on the lineup. Kang Yeosang. Just to name a few. I know ya'll wanted to hear that in particular." He jokes. The crowd laughs when he gives everyone a certain look, scanning the crowd to read their expressions. "Alright, so another quarter—" Is how he starts his speech off, giving himself two minutes to give a heartwarming welcome to all the students, faculty and staff. The next session kicks off shortly after, with a few faculty members talking about their early days in their departments and what they're focusing on now. 

After Namjoon wraps it up, he introduces San and kicks it off for him— giving him a big, warm smile as he greets him on the stage and hands him the mic. He's dressed in a thick, black half-zip sweater, black slacks and boots. You briefly glance around the crowd, all eyes glued to Professor Choi; lots of people looking at him in pure admiration just like you and your friends. His talk flows well, and he easily transitions from talking about his early career days to where he is now and what his focus is. He speaks with so much poise and grace, it's obvious he's incredibly passionate about what he does. He has a softness to him, a certain glint in his eyes while he slowly paces the stage and maintains contact with his crowd. 

"He's so fucking dreamy, are you kidding?" Eunchae mumbles. You giggle and gently nudge her before returning your attention to the stage. Your eyes glance over to the side, smiling to yourself as Namjoon plays around with everyone around him. Professor Lee Iseul stands off to the side next to her husband, and they quietly remain to themselves. She watches as San does his talk, arms folded tightly against her chest and she couldn't look any more disinterested. You clearly don't know the full story, and it's definitely none of your business. But, you can't help but be a little curious as to what happened between her and Professor Choi and why she acts the way she does around him.

"Aye." Felix plops down next to you. "Where have you been, loca?" You snort, pushing him and causing him to almost fall to the side. "Ouch. We've been calling and texting!"

"Next time, don't be late." Jiung plops down next to him.

"We were trying to find the free smoothies and acai bowls!"

"Excuse me?" Jurin looks at Jiung. "Why didn't I know about this?!"

"Maybe cause you were too busy drooling over Professor Choi and his friends." Jurin sticks her tongue out at him. "It's over there. We just didn't get to it before coming to the lawn."

"I'm definitely going as soon as these talks are over." 

"I want some, too!" Eunchae adds.

"We can go." You chime in.

"We're gonna lose you guys again!" Felix slightly whines.

"You won't! You can just sit here and save our spot." Eunchae smiles with some sass. "That way, we have our spots and you won't lose us."

"Fine." Felix clicks his teeth before returning his attention to the stage. The rest of the talks also go well— Yeosang taking the stage next after San, with a few other professors. Iseul does a talk, and although San doesn't care much for it, he at least tries his best to show some support in front of the crowd and be the bigger person.

He does it to just keep the peace. Mainly for Namjoon. San knows he did a lot to try and bury all the mess that went down, even got in trouble for trying to do so. Namjoon cares about San and his other friends, he'd do anything to protect them. But yes, there is no denying that it was a shit show. 

Once all the talks have concluded, you, Eunchae and Jurin scurry off to the smoothie and acai booth, taking the boys' orders to kill two birds with one stone. The lawn and surrounding areas are back to being loud and chaotic with everyone trying to go around and finish grabbing freebies and samples, and participate in other games. You and your friends fall in line and wait for about 15 minutes before they've taken your orders, another 10 minutes before they've given you your drinks.

"Oh shit, this is good." Jurin sips on her drink as it sits in the carrier with Felix's and Jiung's. 

"It is. The boys finally have a good eye." You snort.

"Leave them be."

"What! It's true! I didn't think they'd care much for the stuff here at the event, but here they are, putting on their favorite girls to free smoothies." You laugh, sipping on your own matcha smoothie. Once Eunchae has gotten her drink, the three of you start to make your way back towards the boys on the lawn.

"Oop—" You let out a small squeal, damn near coming face to face with Professor's Choi's chest when you turn. He's about to grab his own smoothie from the worker when you quite literally almost run into him trying to keep up with Eunchae and Jurin. "Oh, I'm sorry Professor Choi." You feel the heat rise to your cheeks even though you didn't do anything wrong.

"No worries. Good morning, ladies." Professor Choi flashes you, Eunchae and Jurin that 100-watt, dimpled smile that everyone is crazy head over heels for. He does a curt bow to acknowledge you and your friends properly, Eunchae and Jurin biting on their bottom lips to prevent themselves from smiling too big and giggling too loud. "How are you doing?"

"Good. Really good. Great talk, by the way!" Eunchae says, making him chuckle at her reaction. "How are you doing?"

"Aw, thanks. I'm good, can't complain. You guys having a good start to the quarter already?"

"I'd say so, yeah. Can't complain either." Jurin adds, holding onto the drink tray tightly. He nods, but turns his direct attention to you with a small smile. "Y/N. Excited to meet next week and talk about projects."

"I am, too." His eyes linger on yours for a little longer and Eunchae doesn't miss it. She gives your arm a good, subtle [but hard] squeeze— one that has you slightly squirming in her grip while trying to maintain eye contact with Professor Choi. He furrows his brows a bit when he catches it, trying his best not to chuckle at the way you and your friends are acting around him.

"Yo!" Mingi says, patting San's shoulder. His eyes go from him to the three girls in front, still lingering around. "Beautiful morning, ladies! Hope you're enjoying the event." 

"Hi Professor Song." You all say dreamily, watching as the taller man chuckles and bounces to the music playing. 

"Sorry to have to do this, but mind if I steal Professor Choi from you?"

"Go for it!" You respond. "See you next week, Professor Choi." You smile sweetly at him and he swears he feels his knees buckle a bit. He watches as the three of you turn and squeal, definitely talking about them as you continue to walk away and find other things to distract yourselves with.

"What's new?" Mingi laughs, making San chuckle.

"Stop it. They're just enjoying themselves." Mingi gives him a look that screams 'sure, whatever you say,' but he keeps it professional. Doesn't make any side comments and keeps it at bay, even though he enjoys the eye candy himself. They're still young. Although work and keeping up with their labs is tough, they're finally out of school— which their days only consisted of science, publishing papers, graduating ASAP and launching their own careers. Of course, they've had their shares in relationships, one night stands, situationships; whatever you wanna call it, all clearly not working out because of all the work they've had to put in. The attention they've had to put into their education, early careers. It has become such a norm for them that a relationship isn't even in their minds right now. Not because they don't want to, but because they're afraid. Afraid of not having enough time while they're still balancing their loads, afraid they'll accidentally put their relationships on a backburner. Afraid of things just falling out terribly. Mingi can honestly say he's afraid because of how San's marriage unfolded. Of course, all experiences are unique, but it still doesn't mean he can't be afraid of his own. 

Once they've gotten a better hang of things, then maybe. Right now, everything seems risky. Everything.

"Mmkay." Mingi snorts. "Good talk earlier."

"Thanks, my guy." San smiles. "They asked me to do it last minute because someone else dropped the ball."

"That was a nice impromptu talk then." Mingi and San start walking down the path, greeting other faculty and students that pass them by. "How is your progress report going?"

"Almost done now that I've gotten my class schedule out of the way."

"You have two TAs this semester, right?"

"Mhm. Alex is actually doing a bulk of the classes, then the TAs. I'm teaching 8 classes this entire quarter."

"That's nice." 

"What about you?"

"Around the same. I've got Doyun helping take over most lectures, along with the TAs."

"Can't believe it's another quarter."

"Time just flies." He nods towards another group of professors. "By the way, have you met the new Applied Physics professor? Zara?"

"What's her last name?"

"Cho."

"Oh." San nods. "Yeah, heard of her. I saw the announcement about her starting, but that's it."

"Let's go say hi." Mingi smirks, causing San to furrow his brows in confusion.

"Why?"

"Don't we like meeting new people?"

"For good reason, yeah. Not yours."

"Hey, mine is a good reason. Who says it isn't?" Mingi smiles. "You know, just making her feel welcomed." He lazily hangs his arm over her shoulder. "Discussing potential collaborations, joint advising." San rolls his eyes, shaking his head just as they approach the group. 

"Yeah, let's keep it there." 

"Maybe—" Mingi suddenly shifts his attention to the group as soon as they face him and greet the both of them. Phew, San thinks. Now he doesn't have to hear the stupid shit bound to come out of his mouth. "Hey!"

"I was looking for you two." Namjoon has hands dug deep into his pockets with that usual Namjoon smile of his, Yeosang on his free side. "Wanted to introduce you to Zara Cho." He looks down at her and gestures at the two. "Zara, this is Mingi and San. Both under bioengineering with me, Mingi in Biology by courtesy, too."

"Oh, I've heard all about you two." She smiles. She's got a beautiful smile, and San notices the way her eyes glaze over him the most. She's attractive, and she's softspoken; has a certain grace that she upholds. Her hair is in a pretty bob that comes right below her jawline, and it fits her well. "It's an honor, truly." She says, shaking their hands.

"So, how's it been on campus so far?" San asks.

"It's been alright, I think. Settling in well and trying to get a hang of things."

"Thats good! Taking it day by day." She nods in agreement with a small giggle. "How's getting the lab situated going?" Mingi chimes in.

"Ah, it's tough but I at least have a post-doc and grad student onboard." She shrugs.

"It's a start. Sooner or later, it'll be overflowing with them." She giggles and nods.

"Yeah, that's the hope." She fully turns to San again. "Now that I'm a bit settled, I was hoping we could chat a bit more, San." Mingi shoots him this certain Mingi look before slowly nodding with a smirk.

"Yeah, that'd be great."

"Don't you have a free schedule in the afternoon?" Mingi instigates, making San furrow his brows in confusion.

"Uh yeah, but I was hoping to—" Mingi nudges him.

"Sure you can make a few minutes, yeah?" Namjoon chuckles. San doesn't mean to shrug her off or anything. Truthfully, he can get pretty shy and he is aware of the work she does. He just doesn't wanna make a fool out of himself, and he wants to make sure their conversation is productive; as with any he has.

"We can meet any time, no worries." 

"No, they're right. Later is good. My office is at the Harvey Center."

"I can stop by later in the afternoon if you're around? 4:30 or 5?"

"4:30 is good."

"Cool." She looks around before checking her watch. "Hate to cut this short, but I have to head back for a meeting." She gives everyone a curt bow. "See you all around?" Everyone says bye in their own ways before Namjoon and Yeosang close the gap in between them, Mingi and San.

"I knew I couldn't trust your reasoning." San glares at Mingi and he chuckles.

"Bruh, I told you. Collaborations and co-advisorships are in the works." Namjoon laughs.

"He's not entirely wrong but, she seemed to be a big fan of your work. Thought it'd be good to chat with her anyway."

"I don't trust you guys." Yeosang snorts.

"Just have a good productive meeting." Yeosang pauses. "And if it ever flourishes into anything, we'll be right there to support—"

"I knew it. I'm heading back to my office." San starts to walk away from the group, sipping on this smoothie.

"Just want you happy!" Namjoon yells.

"I am already!" San smirks before saluting at the three and heading back to the Harvey Center. He greets people on the way over to his office, checking in on a few of his lab members before shutting himself away in his office. San likes to think he's happy. He feels happy. He doesn't think he's lacking anywhere even though for the longest time, he felt like he was after his marriage fell apart. It took him a long time to get to where he is now, and he hopes he'll never go back to feeling that way. Feeling hurt, lost. Betrayed.

—FLASHBACK

"Hey." Jongho looks at San with concern, stepping aside to let him into his home. San gives him a forced, tiny smile, but doesn't say much— immediately making his way to Jongho's couch. Jongho can tell it's been a rough couple of days, San looking more exhausted than he's ever seen him. His eyes are red. Hair's a mess. He can tell San hasn't had a proper meal or sleep, yet he's still coming into work like he's okay. 

He can only imagine how difficult it is. To have someone go from being your world— to absolutely nothing. Your bestfriend being the most trusted person on earth— to nothing.

"What's going on?" Jongho feels like it's such a stupid question, but he isn't sure how to break the silence right now and he needs to. He watches San sink into the couch and just let out a sigh, and it's clear he's about to release everything he's been holding in. "What happened?" Jongho repeats in a different form.

"Where the fuck did I go wrong?" Jongho sees his bottom lip trembling before he buries his head into his hands and starts sobbing. It breaks his heart to see his bestfriend like this; he wishes he could tell him everything will be okay because he knows it will, even though it feels like miles away right now. He wishes that'll be enough. He wishes he could just take the pain away and shove it somewhere else. Because someone like San, someone who loves hard and deep, someone who is loyal until the very end, doesn't deserve this.

"You didn't go wrong anywhere. It was never you, San."

"Why would they do this to me? Why didn't she just talk to m-me about everything? How could she do that so easily?" He continues to mumble as he cries, Jongho rubbing a hand down his back. He truly hates this. He has never seen San so defeated.

Destroyed.

"Because they're both immature and didn't care. I know this is a lot easier said than done but this isn't worth it. You don't need her. You don't need him. They don't deserve you and you'll find someone who'll truly love you for you and who wouldn't even dare do this to you. I'm sorry it had to happen to you, but I promise you'll find someone better. Worth everything. Let yourself feel this out and process it, but once you do, brush it off and continue to move on." San doesn't say anything because Jongho is right; he still needs to process this, and he still needs to feel this out in order to properly move on. 

"Jongho, I don't even know how I'll make it past this. I really don't know how I can."

"You will. Give yourself some time, but in the end, you'll come out stronger and you'll realize why all of this was never meant for you in the first place. There's always a reason, one being that something way better is in the works." San doesn't say anything, but he continues to cry. He continues to wallow in his sadness, what's left of his heart crumbling to pieces and shattering. He knows this is only temporary— but that light, the 'better' that Jongho speaks of, seemed so, so far away.

Unreachable.

—END

San shakes off the thoughts and continues to power through his work, getting through other emails and lab financials he needs to sort through. He's also skimming over his class schedule and hopping into a quick kick-off call with his TAs and lecturers this quarter. 

Sooner or later, time flies on by and he's wrapping things up, getting ready to meet with Zara. He realizes he didn't give her any details on how to get to his office, so he grabs his phone and heads upstairs to wait for her. 

"Hi!" She rushes in, heels clicking against the floor. "Sorry, I'm running a few minutes late." San chuckles and shakes his head.

"No, don't even worry about it. I, uh.. just realized I never gave you proper directions to my office and the lab." San digs his hands into his pockets and presses the button to the elevator. "How was the rest of your day?"

"Good, busy. Just feels like it's nonstop." She giggles, stepping in next to him but with some distance. 

"Mm, yeah. I get that feeling all too well." He laughs. "But, it'll settle in due time." Luckily, the elevator ride isn't too awkward and it's quick— prompting San to step out and lead her down the basement hallway. "I can show you around the lab."

"Do you still have lab members lingering around?"

"Oh, always. They're always holed up in a behavior room or doing surgeries. Some of them really just prefer to work late nights so they don't have to share the space and equipment with anybody."

"Makes sense." She smiles up at him and he nods. He continues to show her around, taking her room by room; allowing her to see his wetbench lab space, his behavior rooms, laser rooms and the mice. She's impressed by how tidy and kept together the lab is despite so many people running around and being together in one space. It's bound to get messy and chaotic, and it does, sometimes. He explains that he tries really hard to keep his space clean and organized, emphasizing it to his lab members so much that they do actually listen especially when it's time for them to go and start their own careers. He's never had a problem with anyone leaving mess behind. He always tells people it's a space for another person to grow and they take that to heart. It's the least they could do after San has been nothing but supportive of them during their time in the lab.

Afterwards, he takes her into his office and she compliments him on all his awards. He rubs at his chin to brush off the heat rising to his cheeks, sitting onto computer chair to talk to her a little more about her plans. She even turns to him for advice about how to keep things steady once they get going, how to tour the labs with donors properly, how to successfully snag grants and funding for the future. The conversation turns out to be a long, productive one, even though San doesn't feel like he's qualified enough to give great advice. Yes, he's done most of it on his own but a lot of it was through Namjoon's guidance. He does slip that in there, giving her a nudge to talk to him a bit further about the perfect grants to go for at this stage, things to do to keep recruiting great postdocs and lab students, funding in the meantime. She appreciates all the guidance and help— so much that the conversation continues even as San packs up and heads out of the office with her.

He does enjoy their conversation, but he definitely could tell you he wouldn't take this anywhere even if his friends tried to push him into doing so. He respects her, he respects her work and he respects her as a colleague.

"Look, look, look!" Eunchae grabs your arm and pulls you aside. She stops in her tracks and nods towards the other side of the street, spotting San speaking to Zara. "He's talking to the new applied physics professor. Professor Cho or something."

"I heard a bit about her work. She's really smart."

"And pretty." You nod in agreement. "He's legit walking her to her car and everything. What if they're into each other already?! Or, do you think it's a tap and dash thing? Do you think Professor Choi is an undercover hoe?"

"Girl?" You look at her questioningly. "What do I do with you?" You laugh and playfully nudge her. "Professor Choi is probably just trying to be a good colleague to her."

"Yeah, okay. She's definitely interested, though. Look at the way she looks up at him. I mean, who wouldn't be?"

"Definitely can't get anything by you, can I?"

"Nope. I'm excited for your rotation with him."

"Excited for the wrong reasons." You playfully run a hand down her hair. "Get out of your head, missy." She snorts.

"I can only dream and live through you." You laugh and link your arm with hers, carrying onto the gym. Meanwhile, Zara finds her way to her car with San in tow.

"Well, it was great talking to you, San." San smiles and nods, watching as Zara gets into her car in one of the smaller lots near the Harvey Center. "Thanks for showing me around your lab and for all your advice."

"Yeah, of course. Let me know if you need anything else. Happy to help. Maybe I can swing by once your lab is settled and kicking off." She nods. "But, definitely try to catch Namjoon and get that old man's wisdom." She laughs.

"Of course. Will do. Have a good rest of your evening." He gently taps the hood of her car before giving her a small nod.

"You as well, drive safely." He waits until she gets settled in her car and drives off before slowly walking over to his car in the usual lot he parks at. He catches sight of you and Eunchae walking towards the gym, your laughs echoing as you seem to be joking around, playfully pushing each other and in good spirits. Hearing your laugh brings a small smile to his face, remembering the events earlier today.

He can't help but be a little flattered, even a little curious as to what exactly you think about him.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world

[cowboydk]

i took a far too long break from reading fanfic and of course had to start catching back up on professor choi </3 already obsessed w the tension between them i just KNOW this is gonna eat

[seongwars]

away with the wind {masterlist}

Pairing: dragonrider!Seonghwa x ex-dragonrider!Reader AU: dragon rider au | strangers -> lovers Summary: A spinal injury forces you to retire from dragon racing, and with it, the end of your engagement to Song Mingi. Park Seonghwa, a rising star in the world of dragon racing and heir to the prestigious House Park, seeks a new dragon after an unfortunate accident on the skyway. As the saying goes, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Genre: mystery, fantasy teaser ˖ chapter i ˖ chapter ii ˖ chapter iii ˖ chapter iv ˖ chapter v chapter vi ˖ chapter vii ˖ chapter viii ˖ twilight ˖ daylight ˖ chapter x chapter xi ˖ chapter xii ˖ chapter xiii

[maximura]

[hwaslayer]

vivrant thing (jwy) | two.

—SPOTIFY PLAYLIST / SERIES MASTERLIST

—SUMMARY: after getting into a little accident, wooyoung decides to do his sister a favor by pretending to be your date at the company summer party. as soon as the night ends, wooyoung would go back to his usual routine of hanging out with his boys, keeping his distance from committed relationships and being a typical brother to jiwoo. except, the favor comes with more than what wooyoung expects and he finds you occupying his mind more than usual. 

—PAIRING: jung wooyoung x f. reader

—GENRE: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriend’s brother au | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—WORD COUNT: 8.8k

—CHAPTER WARNINGS: cussing/mature language, ponytail wooyoung !!!, alcohol consumption / intoxication, party at the winery!, dancing, sweet affectionate moments, songs mentioned are in the playlist, wooyoung is very sweet and will take care of his date 10/10 recommend 🥰

"Wait, wait, wait." San shakes his head in disbelief. "You're going to your sister's company summer party? With Y/N?"

"Mhm." Wooyoung responds nonchalantly.

"I thought her car was already getting fixed at the shop though, what does that have to do with you?"

"You think my sister is gonna leave it at that?" Wooyoung cocks a brow before putting down the navy button-up shirt back on the rack. "I'm just doing her the favor so she can let me be. I know she'll continue to hang it over my head if I don't."

"Wow, you're strong."

"I only agreed cause it's one night. And cause of the whole thing with my sis. Believe it or not, I don't always want her finding reasons to nag at me."

"Wouldn't that be weird, though?"

"What?"

"Being Y/N's date."

"Sure, but it's whatever."

"What're you even gonna talk about all night?"

"I don't know? Am I supposed to have a list ready and check it off as I go?" He gives San a weird look. "I'll figure it out. Who knows, it might not even be that bad."

"I'm not gonna lie, she did look pretty cute at your parents' bbq."

"She's always been cute. She's just shy as hell."

"Mm, yeah." San starts to eye the sweaters on the rack, pulling out a few and hanging it against his chest to see how they'd look on him. "So, what are you guys wearing?"

"I'm not sure." San's forehead crinkles when he turns to look at Wooyoung.

"Aren't you supposed to be sure? You're going together. You have to match."

"Well, we don't really have to. We're not dating, we're just going to a party together as friends."

"Acquaintances."

"Yeah, okay Merriam-Webster." Wooyoung scoffs and pulls out a black button-up shirt that he probably already has in his closet— but it wouldn't hit the same as buying a new one for a summer party. "Stop trying to make it seem like it's super complicated when it's not."

"I'm not. I'm just having a hard time imagining it."

"Then, don't. She's really not that bad."

"Wish she wasn't so shy." Wooyoung turns to San.

"Or.. what?"

"Maybe I would've tried getting to know her more."

"Fuck outta here, Choi San. You're only saying that shit because I'm taking her out to a party." Wooyoung points towards the front of the shop. "Wait. You see that right there?"

"What?" San leans over to try and get a good look at what Wooyoung is pointing at.

"Look closely." He ushers him to get closer. "If you look straight ahead, you'll see the front door. You can take your exit there."

"Fuck you."

"Shut up then. Don't start saying that stuff about Y/N." Wooyoung rolls his eyes as he continues to flip through the racks, trying to spot more clothes to buy and fill his closet with. He's not really sure why he feels the sudden need to be protective of you, especially with San. Hearing him say things like that rubs Wooyoung the wrong way and he's not sure if it's because he's known you for years, or because of something else that he doesn't really wanna think about right now. In the end, Wooyoung doesn't deal with feelings. They're too complicated, and they tie him down. 

"Oh my god! Those dresses are so cute, you'll definitely find one here!" Wooyoung overhears from nearby.

"Whoever that is, sounds exactly like my sister." Woo does a slight head tilt and pretends to shiver. "Can't escape—"

"Because it is your little sister, dummy." San nods his head towards your direction, the both of them watching as you, Jiwoo and Hongjoong walk into the same store. It's almost like the sibling radar goes off for Jiwoo because it doesn't take long before her eyes meet his.

"Why are you here?" She asks, slowly approaching them.

"Waiting for security to take your ass out." Wooyoung looks at the security guard and pretends to call him over. "Excuse me. The nuisance is right here, sir. Please escort her out." Jiwoo rolls her eyes and walks closer to him, giving Hongjoong the opportunity to greet him and San. "Whattup!"

"Taking these girls shopping for the party." Hongjoong responds.

"Me too!" Wooyoung points at San, causing him to click his teeth in response. "Hey Y/N." He smiles down at you and pulls you into a hug before San does the same. 

"Are you wearing black to the party?" Jiwoo holds out the shirt Wooyoung has in his hand.

"And if I am?"

"It's a summer party."

"Black goes with everything?" Jiwoo gives him a look that he reciprocates. "You know, now that you're here Y/N, maybe we can shop for our outfits together."

"Sure, okay—" You respond softly, about to step closer to him when Jiwoo holds your hand and tugs you back.

"I'm shopping with her."

"I have better taste than you."

"I think not." She looks down at the shirt again before looking back up at her brother. "Anyway, we'll be off to find our dresses." She links her arm with yours as you quietly continue to shift your attention between Jiwoo and her brother. "Byeeeee!" She swings you around and drags you towards the dresses in the back corner of the store. Hongjoong lingers around the boys for a little longer, shopping for new shirts himself. The boys talk about their upcoming plans before the summer party, also throwing in some guesses about how the summer party is going to turn out.

Meanwhile, when you and Jiwoo head to the dresses, your eyes automatically land on a strapless corset midi dress— it has a simple black and gold abstract print on it, the fabric mainly mesh. It'll be a little tighter than you'd like, the side slit a little higher than you'd like, but you thought it'd go with the vibe best. There are a few other dresses that caught your eye, and Jiwoo encouraged you to try them on in order to decide which one worked best. 

You could like the way one looks, but it could be completely different when you put it on.

But, your decision remains the same; the abstract dress fits you well, and you can't lie, you feel the sexiest in it. The corset bodice, along with the bodycon fit, provides enough support and shape to hug you in all the right places. Jiwoo squeals when she sees you in the dress, completely agreeing with your decision [she would've any other way]. She jokes that her brother better keep his hands to himself with how good you look and all you can do is shyly shake your head with a tiny giggle before heading back into the room to slip it off.

"Did you find your dresses?" Hongjoong comes, eyeing the dress Jiwoo has in her hands.

"Mhm! Is my pain in the ass brother still here?" Hongjoong shakes his head.

"Him and San just left."

"Good. The dress Y/N has is to be kept a secret until the party. She's gonna look so good, I might have to tell Wooyoung to keep his hands to himself." You come out of the dressing room with the dress tucked closely to your chest, hanging the rest on the go-back rack.

"Hongjoong, please tell her she doesn't have to do all of that." You look at him and he chuckles. "Remember? You're the one who put your brother up to all of this just so I could go to the party. I'm quite positive it's just a favor and nothing else." You all walk towards the register to pay for your items. 

"Still, okay? You're gonna look amazing. I gotta give him a little warning and make sure he doesn't get super handsy with you." She shivers, making you playfully roll your eyes in response.

"Jiwoo, are you gonna help me with hair and makeup? Cause I literally won't know what to do that'll go well with this dress."

"Of course, bae! We'll make it pop, but keep it simple. Trust me on this." She squeezes your wrist just before handing her card over to the cashier. Once her and Hongjoong finish paying, you follow them down to the food court, ordering some friend chicken to munch on before sharing a huge bowl of bingsu with the two. You catch San and Wooyoung passing through the food court, now accompanied by two other girls. They don't look familiar, at least you don't think. In any case, it doesn't make you feel any better knowing Wooyoung simply agreed to go to the party with you as a favor to his sister.

The harsh reality settles that this meant nothing more, nothing less.

You were just a favor.

The day of the party comes quicker than expected. Work had been so busy that the days had flown by, bringing you to your present:

Which is, Jiwoo helping you pop in some hazel colored contacts before doing your makeup and hair.

"Keep your eye open!"

"Ugh, I hate contacts. Jiwoo, you know I hate the feeling!" 

"I know, but I promise it'll be over quick! Just keep it open and don't blink. The more you resist, the longer it'll bother you!" You groan again, gaining the last bit of courage to keep your eye open for Jiwoo as she aligns the contact and gently places it in. "Close and blink for me?" She watches and claps. "Perfect, now do the same for the other eye."

"Jiwoo." You whine.

"I know you can't do it yourself!"

"I can go without them!"

"But, the colored contacts give you a pop and it's cute!"

"I'm literally crying." You point at the tear strolling down your cheek.

"Beauty is pain, my dear! Just for one night! Now, keep still—" She pauses, the both of you holding your breaths while she pops in the last contact into your left eye. You flinch the moment it settles, dabbing at the tears that stream down your cheeks.

"Never again. Wooyoung is literally not gonna care."

"Who said this is about Wooyoung? It's your first summer party, forget my brother. You're gonna be the hottest thing to walk that winery." You shake your head, letting Jiwoo dab some powder onto your cheeks. "You look good, girly! Look at you!" She shoves the mirror in your face. Jiwoo did some loose curls on your hair, and a very natural look for your makeup. Fake lashes, a shade of blush that pops on your cheeks, clear gloss, natural eyeshadow— just enough razzle dazzle, but nothing too extra, as Jiwoo says.

You don't really recognize yourself, though. But, in a good way. You like the change. You normally don't wear makeup, you don't do your hair. You like to think you're simple, maybe too simple, but you don't mind it one bit. That was you, and you've come to embrace it. The change, though? It was nice to see on you once in awhile.

"Thank you." You smile at her and she squeals before checking her phone.

"Okay, my brother should be here in a bit. We're gonna take off and meet you there?"

"Why are you going so early?! You're not gonna leave at the same time as me and Wooyoung?!"

"Nope. We gotta get parking and get first dibs on the wine." She snorts before flashing her phone, screen signaling a call from Hongjoong. "You'll be fine, okay? Granted, as long as Wooyoung doesn't fucking text and drive again but I'm sure he won't with you in the car." 

"Jiwoo!"

"I'll see you in a bit! I love you, mwah!" She says, grabbing her things and rushing out of your studio; heels click-clacking away on the pavement before she squeals even louder seeing her boyfriend. You shake your head, dabbing a bit more highlighter across your collarbone just like Jiwoo taught you.

Within the next 25 minutes or so, you munch on some apple slices you already had in the fridge, somewhat satisfying both your hunger and sweet tooth. Just as you're re-applying lip gloss, Wooyoung's call comes through on your phone, startling you and causing you to drop the wand onto the floor.

"Oh shoot." You grab the wand and blow it off, submerging it back into the tube. "Hello?"

"Yo— everything okay?" He laughs a bit hearing the rustling in the back. "I'm downstairs."

"Sorry, just dropped my lip gloss." You whine a bit away from the phone. "I'll be down in a second."

"Ah, hate when that happens. See you in a bit!" You hang up the call and spray on another spritz of perfume before grabbing your purse, shutting off your lights and closing up your studio. You slowly climb down the steps, Wooyoung probably questioning why you're taking each step 2 miles per hour and sideways. 

You make it down in one piece. Slowly, carefully.

You shyly slip into the passenger's seat, and you almost pause mid-way when you glance at Wooyoung in the driver's seat. As promised, he's in a simple black-on-black fit— a crisp black button up with the sleeves rolled up ever so slightly, black dress pants and black boots. His hair is tucked back in a ponytail with a few strands framing his face. The car smells like his cologne, and he's chewing away at some gum while waiting. You've seen Wooyoung formally dressed before for special occasions, but there hasn't been one time you found yourself ogling at him the way you are right now.

You've never seen him like this, or maybe you just never paid attention? You didn't really have a reason to until tonight. Well, you didn't really have a reason because he was your bestfriend's brother.

"Hi." He says, setting his phone down in the middle console. Thank god he didn't catch you staring at him the way you were. But now, he's doing the same and you're not sure why he's staring. Do you look weird? Is something on your face?

"Hi." He softly smiles, eyes still exploring your body from head to toe and you feel the heat rising to your cheeks.  "What? Is it cause my eyes are kinda red?" You pout, immediately looking through the passenger mirror. "I swear I'm not like, high or anything. Jiwoo helped me put the contacts in earlier—"

"She, what?" He chuckles before shaking his head. "No, nothing. I just— you look beautiful, Y/N. Was taking it in, that's all." 

"O-oh." You tuck a strand behind your ear before settling back into your seat. "Thank you, Wooyoung."

"Of course. You ready?" He glances at your seatbelt and you give him a nod to drive off. "Alright, lehgo." He says, shifting the gear and turning up his music a bit. The familiar voices of Blaque comes through on the speakers, Wooyoung softly singing along to JC Chasez's part in Bring It All To Me. You knew Wooyoung could sing, but it still blows your mind every time you hear his voice. He has one hand gripping tightly onto the wheel, the other resting on the gear. "Do you know if my sister and Hongjoong left already?"

"Yeah, they did about 30 minutes ago."

"She's deadass gonna be the first person there." 

"She said she wanted dibs on parking and the wine."

"Gonna be the first person there and drunk. Free entertainment." You chuckle. "Your dress." He points at your dress before shifting his attention back to the road. "It's pretty. It looks good on you." You smile.

"I picked it."

"I figured. You've always had better taste than Jiwoo."

"Stop." You chuckle. "She did my hair and makeup."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He nods in approval, bottom lip poking out. He really does think you look incredibly pretty— he's always thought you were cute, beautiful. But tonight, he can't take his eyes off of you and that'll be bad news for him as the evening continues. First and foremost though, his goal is to keep you comfortable and happy tonight. His goal is to make sure you have fun, and that's what he'll do with your pretty little self.

"Okay, I'll give her that. But, that stays between us." You snort. 

"Sure, Woo." He chuckles.

"Warm enough? Music too loud?"

"No, it's all fine. I'm good. Promise."

"Okay, cause we still have about another 30 minutes to go before we get to the winery."

"I'm fine." You reassure him with the prettiest smile before returning your attention outside the window.

"So, does Yeosang know you're going?"

"No."

"Mm, okay. Definitely not prepared for him to beat my ass tonight. I did wear my good socks though, so.. he can try it if he wants." He shrugs.

"He's not like that." You respond softly with a giggle. "Besides, it's my fault. I withheld it from him intentionally."

"Well, what's the deal? If you don't mind me asking." You sigh. "My sister said it'd be weird for you two to go to the party together so I'm suspecting it's a one-sided thing."

"I just.. don't see him that way."

"Why don't you just tell him?"

"I don't know. I'm not really good at these things. I don't know how to say it and I don't wanna hurt his feelings."

"You'll hurt him more by letting it slide like this, you know?" Wooyoung shrugs. "It's okay if you don't feel the same. No one can ever force you to feel a certain way and he'll understand that. But, it'll make it easier on everyone if you're just honest from the get."

"Mmyeah."

"I promise. It'll be tough to get it out, but he'll appreciate it."

"I know, I know."

"In the meantime, are we avoiding him tonight? Lemme know the plan." You shrug.

"If he comes up to me, I'll just explain. Then.. go from there. Wherever that is." You pout a bit.

"Hm." Wooyoung hums when he sees the worried look on your face. "Don't worry about it too much, okay? We'll have fun tonight."

"I feel bad that you're here."

"Ouch, why? Don't want me here?"

"It's not that. You were basically forced to be here so Jiwoo wouldn't get on you for her car."

"Eh, well. Her car is fixed. She can't always force me into things. Besides, it's free entrance to a winery with unlimited wine. Why would I say no to that?" You chuckle.

"You say that now."

"We'll enjoy it together, yeah?" He looks at you and you meet his eyes, nodding quietly in agreement. You hope you'll be able to enjoy with Wooyoung, but as of right now, you're a bit anxious and scared for what the night will bring.

When Wooyoung pulls up into the main lot of the winery, the parking attendant signals for him to follow the rest of the cars into the extended lot. He jokes under his breath that maybe, he should've followed his sister's lead with this one and left earlier. But, it doesn't last long when he's able to snag a spot right by the back entrance near the winery's lawn area— aka, where the party would mostly take place.

"Alright. If we ever need to dine and dash, just say the word. We'll leave." He says, hopping out of the car while you laugh to yourself. He swings your door open and holds out his hand for you to take, shutting it close after he's gotten you out of the car. He looks at you up and down once again, causing the heat to rise to your cheeks— this time, at a new intensity. "Yeeeesh, I gotta say, you look fine, 'lil mama." He smirks. Cause yes, that dress falls along your curves, your body, so beautifully. That dress pushes up your tits so nicely. 

And that dress hugs the curves of your ass so, so perfectly.

"Wooyoung." You whine a bit before playfully [and very softly] punching his bicep.

"Ah—" He laughs, holding out his arm for you to take. "I'm just being honest as your date." 

"You're making me shy."

"Am I?" He looks down at you with another shit-eating smirk. "What else can I do in the next few hours?" You squeeze his bicep as you enter through the back door, greeting familiar faces. To your surprise [or not], Wooyoung immediately introduces himself as your date and Jiwoo's brother, causing your colleagues and everyone around you to hype you both up as a good-looking couple. You don't even know how to respond besides a 'thank you,' letting Wooyoung take on most of the work with his 'yeah, i know we do's' or 'i know, she's just a little shy about it though's.'

"Shoulda left 30 minutes earlier." Jiwoo says, pulling you into a hug before Hongjoong follows suit. "The baddie herself has finally arrived!"

"Shoulda left on time 30 minutes later." Wooyoung retorts, still properly hugging his sister and greeting Hongjoong. 

"Time to catch up!" Jiwoo raises her glass and taps it. "The wine is pretty good, can't complain."

"Coming from the person who likes Svedka Vodka." 

"Hey! It's cheap and does the job quick!"

"That's why my bar closed a long time ago for you." Wooyoung winces before turning to you. "Wanna go find the right wine for you to sip on?"

"Charcuterie board was just replenished, too!" Jiwoo yells, just as she watches her brother hold your hand and lead you into the winery. "It's so weird to see him doing all that with her."

"Well, he is her date." Hongjoong says with a laugh, sipping on his wine while he holds her by the waist. "He's taking good care of her. Let 'em enjoy it tonight, hm? Just like we will." He hums as she giggles, placing a kiss on her temple before whisking her away to the other finger foods that were just set out. 

As you approach the table with endless different wine bottles set on the surface, you keep yourself close to Wooyoung especially with how packed the room has gotten. Wooyoung sets himself in between a red wine, a white wine and a bottle filled with some sort of pink-ish liquid, his hands grabbing two wine glasses and setting them down on the edge of the table.

"There's so much wine."

"Yup. It's nice that you don't have to pay for a dime. These things get costly."

"Which one is good?"

"Hm, let me check. I've heard of this winery but I've never tasted their wine before." He says as you continue to keep close behind him, looking over his shoulder. He picks up the bottle of red wine and takes it to his nose. "This smells hella bitter." Wooyoung says, smelling the red wine. "You probably won't like this one." He sets it back down and picks up the bottle of white wine. "Chardonnay might not be too bad." He pours a bit in his glass and hands it to you. "Taste it." You take the white wine into your mouth and make a face. "No?"

"Kinda bitter still."

"That's okay." He laughs and points to the pink bottle. "That might be good! Can never go wrong with Rosé. Wanna try it?"

"Can you taste it first?" Wooyoung nods, pouring himself some rosé— enough for a little sip. He nods in approval, shifting his attention back to you.

"It's good! You'll like it. I'll pour you a bit again and you can let me know if you want more or not." You nod. He hands you the glass, watching intently as you take a sip and nod in approval.

"Oh, this is good!"

"Yeah? Glad you like it." He pours some more in your glass, a little more heavy-handed than you like but you'll go along with it for tonight.

"What're you gonna drink?"

"I'm just gonna take some of this Cabernet and babysit it for the night." He reaches over to grab another bottle of red wine a couple of buckets away. He pours himself about half a glass before he's sipping it and humming in approval himself. "Yeah, that's pretty good." He sets his glass out, giving you the opportunity to taste his wine of choice. You take a little sip, shaking your head after giving him his glass back.

"Yeah, no." He laughs.

"It's okay. Red wine is tough to work with. At least we found you some good rosé, though. You gotta take those drinks for the both of us."

"Just one glass will do."

"Mm, a couple sounds better, though." He teases, lacing his hand back with yours as you both walk towards Jiwoo and Hongjoong, sharing a table with your other coworker and.. Yeosang.

"Y/N?" Yeosang looks up at you in confusion, and it almost breaks your heart the way he looks at you. You catch his eyes dart from you to your hand that's currently intertwined with Wooyoung's. "Wooyoung."

"What's up." Is all Wooyoung says as he looks at him over the edge of his glass, taking another sip.

"It's nice to see you—" Yeosang pauses and looks at you; you can't help but give him a pursed smile in return. "Together?"

"Mmyeah—"

"I see you went with the rosé! Nice choice!" Jiwoo cuts in, giving you a look to go along with it. "It's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. We tried the others, wasn't a fan of them."

"They can get kinda strong." She says, downing the rest of the Chardonnay in her glass. "Welp, it's a good thing we have refills right at the table! Seems like we're gonna need it." She pours herself more Chardonnay before pouring you a bit more rosé.

"Jiwoo! I haven't even finished the first glass yet!"

"It was getting warm, you needed the refill." She smirks. You squint your eyes at her before briefly scanning the table, Yeosang now occupied with your coworker. He doesn't seem to want to make eye contact with you any time soon, and that particular unsettling feeling hits you in the gut. You're scared you've already ruined your friendship for pulling this stunt, for not being honest in the first place. You're scared you might've lost your other bestfriend because you were too busy hiding.

"Good?" Wooyoung leans forward to look at you, his soft eyes trailing over your features. He can already sense the shift in your mood and he doesn't want you to start overthinking and getting in your head, especially tonight.

"I think so." 

"You sure? Got my good socks on." He points down to his boots. You smile at his reminder and it instantly eases him. 

"I'm sure." He nods, slipping his arm behind you to rest on the back of your chair. Luckily, the CEO kicks off the dinner portion of the evening. He starts off his speech that lasts about a good minute, thanking everyone for their hardwork and dedication this point in the year. Once finished, he calls on a table to begin lining up for dinner. You, Wooyoung, Jiwoo, Hongjoong, Yeosang and your other coworker patiently fall in line for the buffet-style catering. Wooyoung makes sure to slip in behind you, creating a barrier between you and Yeosang even if there's no obvious hostility. It does help knowing he's creating some distance and you appreciate him for it. You fill your plate with a good scoop of food before settling back down in your seat.

The table enjoys dinner; thankfully, everyone is in good spirits and is cracking jokes despite the awkward moment that fell between you and Yeosang earlier. Even if he was upset, he'd never show you [or anyone] how he was truly feeling, and that could very well become an issue, too.

When it's time for the dance portion, Jiwoo fills your glass along with hers. Even though you had eaten a good amount of food, the alcohol was quick to seep back into your system and loosen you up. But, even with the liquid courage, you couldn't help but still feel shy around her brother.

He just looked so good tonight, you were afraid of looking like a damn fool in front of him. 

In your favor, all Wooyoung cares about is making sure you have a good time. He can see how much you're trying to hold back, even when Jiwoo drunkly throws her arm around you and starts vibing to the music. At some point, the crowd splits you and Wooyoung from Hongjoong and Jiwoo, leaving you to your date to enjoy you all to himself. The DJ starts spinning familiar songs from the 90s, bringing a huge smile on Wooyoung's face.

"Come here." He says, pulling you closer to him as you dance around with him. "It's just me. Don't worry about anything or anyone else." He gives you a reassuring look, his hands loosely laced with yours. You start to feel more comfortable with his reassurance, singing and dancing along with Wooyoung. You find yourself laughing and playfully teasing Wooyoung when he shows off his dance moves and pulls you along into his shenanigans. Your worries seem to be a distant thought at this point, no longer being concerned about every little thing, every little detail.

You're having tons of fun with Wooyoung. You're no longer trying to control what can't be controlled, letting the night take care of the rest on its own.

In between, Jiwoo ends up finding you in the crowd, shoving more rosé your way to get you at a good drunk. And sure as hell, the trick works. Wooyoung finds himself smiling in pure adoration over you, letting you lazily wrap your arms around his neck while singing along to the songs and keeping you close—

Until there's a shift in the air and you feel the liquid courage finally kicking in the way it should.

Wooyoung takes your hand and turns you around, a hand resting on your hip as you dance against him. You don't even care that you've backed yourself up against him and are dancing on him the way you are, thoroughly enjoying how he grips your hips and pulls you flush against him.

It's a little much for someone like you, but you find that it gets you going. Almost has your brain going on overdrive, fixating on the fact that Wooyoung has you like this— wants you like this.

You continue to dance against him, loving the way he holds you and keeps up with your rhythm perfectly. It goes on for a few more songs, Wooyoung shifting to the side to get a good look and hype you up. He's had his fair share of dancing with women at clubs, but he can say hands down, he has never had as much fun as he did tonight. You didn't dance like you were out to prove yourself or something to anyone, to forcefully catch his attention or be someone you're not for all the wrong reasons— you just danced to have fun with him, trusted him to take care of you and help you loosen up. It was all genuine fun and good vibes; he's at the point of wishing the night would never end just so he could stay right here with you.

There is literally no care in the world; just you and Wooyoung, enjoying each other's company at this summer party you didn't even wanna go to. In the end, you're glad you ended up here with Wooyoung because it truly was one of the best nights you've had in such a long time.

"Woo." You turn, tired from all the dancing you've been doing with your handsome date. 

"Yeah, babygirl?"

"I gotta pee." He snorts.

"You should definitely break the seal if you wanna start sobering up."

"I should, huh?" He laughs and nods. 

"I'll wait out here for you, okay?"

"Mmkay." You part from him and it almost aches you to leave him for a second to relieve yourself. The need to pee becomes urgent, your feet rushing you along to the bathroom for a release. Good thing there isn't a line, and that the bathrooms are practically empty— you can sigh away in peace before washing your hands and freshening up a bit. You're excited to get back to Wooyoung, and it shows with the way you giddily pace out of the bathroom and down the hall—

Only to be stopped in the process by none other than your other bestfriend, Kang Yeosang.

You turn and find him there, a small smile plastered on his lips. Your heart immediately drops seeing him, and the guilt comes rushing back. You can't help but frown a bit, pursing your lips together before responding properly.

"Yeo, hi." You look at him with doe-eyes and he isn't sure if he should be more upset over the situation or sad. Maybe sad, because it's clear where you stand with him. And it sucks, but what is he to do? If you're happier elsewhere, who is he to prevent you from having that happiness?

"Hey you." He says softly. "I've barely seen you all night."

"Yeah, just been on the dance floor. My feet kinda hurt now that I think about it." He chuckles a bit.

"Sounds like you're having a good time."

"Um, yeah. Yeah." You repeat. "It's been good. Hope you're having a good night?"

"Can't complain, I guess?" There's a pause before you break the silence.

"Yeo, I'm sorry. It all happened last minute, I really wasn't trying to go but Jiwoo asked her brother and—"

"It's okay, seriously. It's fine. You don't have to explain." He says waving it off, probably trying to make it seem like it's not a big deal when yeah, maybe it isn't. But, you know he's still hurt. You know he still feels a hint of betrayal by the way this all went down— for saying no, for turning down the party, for not telling him you were all of a sudden gonna be here with Jiwoo's brother. For brushing his feelings under the rug.

"Is it?" You ask, still pretty drunk. If this were any other circumstance, you'd probably run away and hide. 

"Uh, yeah, it will be." Yeosang shrugs, unsure of what to say because he is sad about it, now that he truly thinks about it and lets the situation settle in his head.

"I'm sorry." Is all you say as a small frown builds on your lips. Just as you're about to turn to get back to Wooyoung, Yeosang catches your wrist and gently tugs you back. You look up at him, eyes full of curiosity as to why he's holding you back. You're scared for what's to come next, but you give him the opportunity to tell you whatever it is anyway.

"Maybe we can talk about this over dinner? Just me and you?" And as much as you should stand your ground and say no, you can't help but feel like you owe it to him. Maybe this would be it— the doorway to being honest, to telling him the truth. Maybe you two could have a good, friendly dinner and get past this without ruining what's already there; as friends. 

As for Wooyoung, he sees the whole thing with Yeosang. He can't help but watch, either. His eyes were scanning the crowd tough, a little too eager to have you back in his arms on the dance floor. When he finally caught your figure, your dress, standing in the main hall talking to Yeosang, he felt his heart drop. He's not sure what's going on, can't really make sense of what's being exchanged between the two of you. Yeosang still hasn't let go of your wrist, but Wooyoung catches you nodding before he does. Whatever it was, he's hoping you aren't hurt or anything along those lines.

"Hi." You smile toothlessly at him and he has the sudden urge to cup your cheeks, to pull you into his arms and hold onto you. At least you're smiling at him, that's all he could ask for.

"Hey." He smiles back. "I almost thought the toilet swallowed you." You laugh and shake your head.

"What if it did?"

"Then I'd have to go in there and save you, right? Who would I be if I didn't?" He holds out his hand as the next song plays, a little bit of that Jon B. with his They Don't Know. "Mm, I really like this song. Can we head back to the dance floor? I mean, if you don't wanna it's fine but please don't make me slow dance by myself." You giggle, taking his hand and letting him lead you back to the dance floor. He gently wraps his arms around you while you wrap your arms around his neck, his hands firmly keeping you pressed close to him. 

"Wooyoung."

"Mhm?" He maintains eye contact with you as you sway to the song, following along to the beat. 

"Thank you. For tonight. I've had a lot of fun."

"I'm glad. That's all I wanted." He smirks. "Assuming I'll get a free ride to next year's party, too?" You laugh.

"We'll see."

"No seriously though, I'm glad you had fun."

"I did. I really did." You tilt your head ever so slightly and the lighting from the string lights, the moon, hits you perfectly in this angle that Wooyoung feels his heart skip. The highlighter on your collarbone provides an extra layer of glow to everything about you and he honestly doesn't know how to act right now. You feel his hand gently rub at your lower back, his eyes moving from your nose, down to your lips. You catch his Adam's apple bob in an attempt to swallow this sudden nervousness down.

And you could be wrong, you don't really know what's going on in his head and vice versa. But, the moment his face starts edging towards yours, you can't help but follow his motions. In a sudden turn of events, you find yourself wanting, even needing to kiss him; you really hope to—

"If I didn't know any better, it actually looks like you two like each other a lot annnnd iono about all that." Jiwoo says, carrying the rosé bottle in her hand while Hongjoong tries to tug her away. Wooyoung rolls his eyes and tries to move you two away in tiny steps, fighting the annoyance within him when his sister [of course] butted in at a very pivotal moment. Cause yeah, he would've kissed you, and he would've genuinely enjoyed it. He wanted this, too. "Babe, I got the bottle. Open up—"

"Baby." Hongjoong says. "Stop, put it down. Let's go! Leave them alone!"

"Jiwoo, the hell. Are you trying to poison her?! She's good." Wooyoung says lowly with his brows furrowed, subtly brushing his sister off.

"Ew, fun police!" She looks at both Wooyoung and Hongjoong.

"Can you like, get yourself together? What's fun about drowning my date in rosé?"

"All of a sudden he cares." She snorts.

"Baby—sorry, sorry." Hongjoong has a sympathetic expression on his face while looking at you two. "I got this." Hongjoong whisks her away and grabs the bottle, successfully placing it down on another table before bringing her to get water.

"Jiwoo." You laugh, resting your head against Wooyoung's cheek, his grip on you only tightening as you softly sway back and forth to the music.

"Literally couldn't have been the worst time." 

"It's okay. Hongjoong's got her now."

"Sorry." He says, placing a gentle, feathery kiss to your cheek. "Just know that was not how I wanted that to play out." He rubs at your sides as you giggle, continuing to slow dance with Wooyoung under the starlit sky.

When the event officially concludes, the CEO and leadership team come back to the stage to thank everyone for the successful event, wishing everyone safe travels back home. Jiwoo runs to you and hugs you, asking if you had fun tonight. You tell her that you did and that you owe it to her and her brother for all of it. She laughs, happy everything turned out well and that her brother took good care of you.

"Take care of her." Jiwoo glares at Wooyoung while Hongjoong chuckles to the side and shakes his head.

"Okay, go."

"I mean it."

"I do, too!"

"Babe, text me when this big head brings you home. I might not answer though cause I'll be at Joong's but still—" You nod, completely ignoring what she's insinuating.

"Ew, no one fucking asked Jiwoo. Just go." Wooyoung mumbles under his breath, giving her a look. Your eyes widen when you feel Wooyoung slip his hand into yours and grip it tightly, leading you through the crowd of people building around the back of the winery saying their goodbye's. You both head into the car with ease, giving Wooyoung the opportunity to catch a minute before driving off.

"Hm, how do you feel right now?" Wooyoung spreads in his seat, scrolling through his phone.

"I'm fine."

"Not too tired?"

"Not really."

"Still kinda tipsy?"

"Still kinda tipsy." You reaffirm and he chuckles.

"Wanna get some food and hang out somewhere? No pressure. Can take you home if that's what you prefer."

"Um, yeah sure! Let's go."

"Yeah?" He smiles and buckles up, shifting the gear to drive. "Sick. I know just the place to get you some good snacks."

Said place ends up being a convenience store nearby that has the best egg sandwiches, spicy tuna onigiri, and Wooyoung's favorite grab n' go corndogs.

You enjoy the experience nonetheless. Wooyoung parks his car right at the front of the store, helping you hop out of the car before slipping his hand in yours. It almost feels way too natural for two people who were merely attending a party together as acquaintances, [per Choi San] but Wooyoung likes the way your hand feels in his. The way it fits perfectly, and how you seem to put all your trust in him this way. He shuffles towards the back and tosses a few things into the basket you're holding with your other arm, giggling when he debates between a regular corndog or a flaming hot cheeto corndog.

"I don't want my ass to be on fire though, so." He says out loud in the very empty convenience store.

"Wooyoung!" You whisper, more embarrassed on his behalf than himself. 

"I'm just saying Y/N, sometimes that shit is outta my control. I don't want it to be one of those nights." You laugh as he looks into the basket. "Is that all you want? A corndog?"

"Mhm. I'm still pretty full."

"Okay then." He takes the items to the register and quickly pays for it, giving you zero chance to slide in some cash. He smirks when he grabs the bag and heads back to the car, letting you know that he'd never let you pay anyway.

The drive to Wooyoung's endpoint is about 20 minutes away from the store, and up a dark hill. If it had been any other situation, it would've looked incredibly scary and suspicious. But since it's Wooyoung, you trust him wholeheartedly to bring you somewhere you'd enjoy.

"It gets better, okay. I know what you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?" You squeak.

"You're probably wondering why my punkass is taking you up a dark hill. I promise the view up there is worth it. You trust me, yeah?"

"I do. Don't disappoint me, Jung Wooyoung."

"Nah, never that." He takes you further up the curvy road, finally pulling into a small lot off to the side. There aren't any other cars parked besides Wooyoung's, so it makes it easy for him to back into the spot. He leaves enough space to pop open the trunk freely, allowing you two to sit and enjoy the sideview of the city. "Careful." He says, bringing you to the trunk and making sure you're seated comfortably before grabbing the snacks. He plops into the space next to you and hands you your corndog, the both of you indulging in your snacks in pure silence.

"There's a path down there. You get a better view of the city." He covers his mouth while chewing on his corndog.

"Hm." You hum, looking up at the sky. "The stars are so bright tonight."

"I know, I don't remember the last time I've seen so many stars." Wooyoung points to the right. "Look! There's the big dipper." You chomp on your corndog as you look up to where he's pointing at.

"No, it's not?"

"Y/N. Please. That's the big dipper."

"I'm looking! I don't see it." He scoots closer and points again. At this point, Wooyoung is only inches away from your face. If you were to turn at the wrong time, you'd land a kiss on his lips unintentionally. 

"There!" He says. Lo and behold, Wooyoung's right. You finally see the shape of the big dipper up ahead, even if you're slightly distracted with Wooyoung's face being in such close proximity again. 

"Okay, you're right. I see it, I'll give that to you." You respond with a tiny smile.

"Haven't seen one in a long time." He smiles proudly before digging into his other snacks and powering through them. Wooyoung doesn't even move away from you after showing you the big dipper, but you aren't complaining. You've come to learn that you enjoy having him near, close. "You're done eating?" You nod, tossing your trash into the bag.

"Mhm." You hum contently. "Wooyoung." He looks at you with a brow cocked up, shoving the last bit of the onigiri in his mouth. He shouldn't like the way you say his name so softly, so delicately, but he does. Especially after tonight, he really, really does.

"Yeah?"

"I wanna walk down the path and look at the view." You stand and start walking towards the path, where it'll take you to a beautiful view of the city.

"Wait, hold up!" He says, grabbing his jacket and locking up his car. "Why does she walk so fast? Miss Quicksilver." He mumbles to himself. When he catches up to you, you feel him drape his jacket over your shoulders before coming to your side. "It's getting kinda chilly out." You look up at him with a small smile on your face, hugging the jacket closely around your frame.

"Thank you."

"Course." He holds out his hand. "It's dark, let me lead the way? You've got your pretty heels on and everything. You sure you wanna do this?"

"Yeah, please?" Wooyoung almost buckles at the knees when he hears you plead the way you do, instantly locking hands while he walks in front to lead the way. You stay close to him, especially when the path has lower visibility than you expected. He tightens the grip on your hand, carefully navigating around the bushes along the way. When he finally reaches the end and brings you to the view, you take a few steps forward toward the edge of the overlook. There's a small board off to the side that outlines the history of the city ahead and when the overlook was created. You let go of Wooyoung's hand completely to rest on the edge, taking in the city lights. The crisp night air. The sound of the stream nearby. You rest your elbows on the stone, chin resting on the palms of your hands. Wooyoung smiles to himself as he admires you from behind, coming right by your side to enjoy the view. "It's so pretty."

"Yeah, it is."

"The crickets are loud. Kinda soothing to listen to, though."

"Louder than Jiwoo, that's for sure." You laugh, continuing to look at the view. 

"How'd you know about this spot, Woo? Do you take girls here on dates?"

"God, no. I just come here to chill when I need to get my mind together. I don't really share this spot with anyone." He rests his chin on your head and you don't budge, appreciating the extra body heat from behind.

"You shared it with me."

"That's cause I genuinely wanted to take you here. I know you'd appreciate it."

"Can I start coming here, too?" You look up at him with a smile.

"Only if you let me tag along." Wooyoung teases. "I am heavily equipped with the exact location details and everything."

"Mmkay, fair enough." You let out a content sigh. "I wonder what everyone's doing in the city. What their stories are like and what's happening in their lives right now. Do you ever think about stuff like that?"

"I do."

"It's crazy to think about, isn't it? Being in one place at the same time with all these people, filled with millions of different stories."

"It is." You look at the view with a small pout and Wooyoung feels his knees getting weaker over that damn pout. "Anyway." You turn to look at Wooyoung, who is very much still staring down at you in adoration. "What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?" 

"What, can I not? You're just really cute, shit, sue me." You roll your eyes playfully before a yawn comes out, and Wooyoung frowns a bit.

"Yikes." You say just as you shake off the yawn.

"Tired?"

"Mm, it's hitting me now."

"The post-drunk crash." He sighs, cupping your cheeks and looking into your eyes. "Come on, let's get you home." 

"What if—" You cover another yawn again. "I don't wanna?" He drops his hands back down before grabbing your hand, slowly trailing back to the car.

"Then babygirl, I dunno. I definitely do not recommend sleeping out here, though." He jokes. He could technically take you back home and do all the things he would normally do if this were any other circumstance, any other person. He could have you right where he wants you and have you stay the night.

But, he won't. 

He won't do that to you because that's not what you are to him. You aren't just a body, and you aren't a temporary thing. On top of that, he probably should sort through his feelings, his emotions because he's not sure what the fuck he's been feeling all night; he just knows it's kinda different and kinda alarming for someone like him. 

Feels serious, too vulnerable.

"Yeah, I agree." You say sleepily, clinging onto Wooyoung's arm as you walk back to the car.

The ride home is quiet, and exhaustion almost completely consumes your body that you barely realize Wooyoung's thumb gently caressing the surface of your hand. You shouldn't get used to the feeling so much, knowing this is might all be for show especially over a summer party. It hurts to think about, but it's not like Wooyoung willingly wanted to be here. Maybe a small part of him did, but at the end of the day, this was purely a favor for his sister. You didn't think he'd catch feelings over one night, no. It wasn't in his nature to. You didn't expect that whatsoever, either. But, you also couldn't help but feel things after the way he treated you tonight. After the way he took care of you so, so well. 

Was it wrong to feel infatuated? Was it wrong to feel happy, giddy, after the time you shared? Being in close proximity all evening, sharing little subtle affectionate moments together?

The voice in your head tells you yes, and that you should know better than to think it'd last past this night. 

You are you, and Wooyoung is Wooyoung. 

"Y/N?" Wooyoung softly taps your thigh. You turn to face him, recognizing the awfully familiar neighborhood behind him. You had been deep in your thoughts, along with the mix of exhaustion, that you didn't know you've already made it home. "Thought you fell asleep. We're here."

"Already?" You give him a tiny, soft smile that he reciprocates before running to your side and helping you out of the car.

"You don't have to walk me."

"Y/N, please. Don't start spitting out nonsense." He says, unbuckling his seatbelt and running over to your door. He tucks a hand into his pocket while waiting for you to step out, shutting it gently behind you. He walks you up the steps to your studio, silently trailing behind even as you fiddle with your keys to open your door. Once you get it open, you turn to him with that angelic smile he's mesmerized by, causing him to smile in return.

"Hope you had a good time tonight."

"I did. I really, really did. Thank you for.. you know? Accompanying me and what not. Everything, really."

"It was fun." He pulls you into a hug, squeezing you gently. When he pulls away, he keeps an arm wrapped around your neck, planting a kiss on your temple. It lights a fire within you, the heat rising to your cheeks when he pulls back and looks down at you. "Get some sleep, okay?"

"You too. Drive safely." You feel the need to reciprocate the kiss somehow, and it doesn't help that Wooyoung lingers around for a second— mainly to make sure you make it inside your studio. With all your thoughts, you still find yourself reasoning with the giddiness you're feeling. You find the courage to tippy-toe and place a chaste kiss on his cheek, rushing into your studio with a soft: "Goodnight!" before shutting the door. Wooyoung silently laughs to himself as he digs his hands into his pocket, nibbling on his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling too big at the action.

But, his heart is damn near beating out of his chest, another thing that feels pretty unfamiliar but familiar at the same time. The only thing he knows for certain is that it probably can't be good for him—

To feel this way. Forcing himself to walk away from your studio after spending a good evening together. To want to call you even though he's just in his car downstairs. To keep you company until the next morning.

After all, you were starting to feel more than just a favor to him.

Those feelings can't be good for him.

—TAGLIST: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @heyitsmetonid @ldysmfrst @intaksfav

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | one.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 4.2k

—warnings: cussing/mature language, this is gonna start off kinda slow but i promise it'll get spicier lol, say hello to the rest of the professors in this fic ouweeee 🤪, some general bioengineering research terms, very vague mentions of mice research work, more of a glimpse into the yunho x san x iseul dynamic

—a/n: i'm also working on wooyoung's mini series so pls check it out! the next update will prob go up soon! ily <33

"Did you figure out your rotation for this quarter?" You walk alongside Jiung as you head to the Harvey Center, where Professor Choi's lab is located. Both you and Jiung had just finished up walking around campus to get your steps in, but to also check out the classrooms for all your upcoming classes this quarter and pick up books at the bookstore. Most of your classes were in familiar buildings, while two were entirely new. 

"Yeah, I gotta meet with one more professor then I think I can send off my final decision." You nod. Jiung is holding his bag of books and yours, not wanting you to haul them around campus with how heavy they can get.

"That's good."

"Yeah, hope so." He repeats. "Are you meeting with the other professors this week just to see if you wanna rotate in any of them instead?"

"Mhm. All in one week. I guess it makes it easier on me since I don't have to wait on anyone. I can decide by end of the week."

"Are you seeing them in person?"

"Just Professor Choi and Professor Kim. Everyone else said Zoom." Jiung nods.

"Wow, Professor Kim in person?"

"I heard he really values in person meetings." You chuckle. "Which is nice? Maybe it's cause he's the department chair."

"That, too. He just seems like that kinda person, though. He's super active in all the events."

"Truth." 

"Did you like rotating in Professor Bahng's lab last quarter?"

"I did. He was really cool. People in his lab are cool, too. I just.. I don't know? I didn't have a specific project I could focus on. Felt like I'd have trouble fitting myself in there and finding something to work off of. Everyone was great though, don't get me wrong. Just didn't click for me." 

"Makes sense. You wanna be happy and feel like you can thrive somewhere."

"Yeah, exactly. Plus, after talking to Sunwoo and Belle, I think my interests lie more in Professor Choi's lab." You look down at the bags before looking at the Harvey Center ahead of you. "You know you don't have to wait for me, Jiung. You can go to the apartment if you want."

"Nah, I'll wait. I don't have shit to do anyway." You swing the front doors open and Jiung instantly plops down on a free chair near the lobby doors. "I'll be here."

"Shit, I just realized I think his office is downstairs in the basement. I don't know if I have access."

"Where's Sunwoo or Belle?" You quickly pull out your phone and try to dial Sunwoo or Belle to help you. Unlucky for you though, none of them answer.

"I guess they aren't here for the day yet. They didn't pick up." You sigh. "Why didn't I think about this early on?!"

"Relax. It's fine! Poke your head around, I'm sure someone is there to let you in." You pucker your lips in dismay, hoping it doesn't cause any issues and make you late for your meeting. You should've asked for assistance in the first place, but it kinda blew over your head when Professor Choi responded quicker than you expected.

"Welp. Let's hope I don't fuck this up already." Jiung pats your head.

"You won't." You wave to him before heading into the elevators, down to the basement level of the building. It's quiet, and you don't see many people walking around despite it being close to 10am. As you approach the door to the basement, you peek into the window to try and catch a glimpse of anyone passing by in the visible hallway. To your luck, the hallway is dead and there doesn't seem to be any moving heads in any of the nearby lab rooms. You let out a sigh and take out your phone, wondering if you should just email Professor Choi to ask for assistance.

No, maybe someone will pass by in the next 5 minutes.

Give it 5 more minutes, then panic and email.

You tippytoe and peek through the window once more, muttering small curses to yourself for being so unprepared with your meeting. Now, he's probably going to think you can't—

"Y/N?" You turn to see Professor Choi behind you with a soft smile on his face. He's dressed in a grey turtleneck, black slacks and boots— large silver square-shaped frames sitting on the bridge of his nose. He has his hands in his pockets, a heavy leather bag slung on his shoulder. You're surprised he even knows it's you; then again, who else would be peeking into the basement at this time?

"Oh my god, hi—sorry." You pause, slightly embarrassed having Professor Choi catch you looking through the door's window the way you were. "I just realized I didn't have basement access so I was trying to see if anyone was around before bothering you."

"All good. Perfect timing, hm?" He taps his badge against the reader and swings the door open. "After you." You give him a curt bow as a thank you, slowly walking into the basement hallway. San trails behind you, and he takes note of the way you're dressed. You're in some wide-leg white jeans, a cream colored vest and some black platform loafers. It's cute, really. He gives you another toothless smile when you stop in your tracks and wait for him to lead the way. Hopefully, he didn't catch your eyes when you quickly skimmed his outfit again— he was tall and he was well-built, it was very obvious with that turtleneck he had on. He smells of a woody cologne, mixed with notes of jasmine and patchouli. It's not overbearing, but it definitely makes its presence known next to you. "How's your day been?" He asks and you just nod.

"It's been alright. I just went to pick up my books at the book store, explored around campus to make sure I knew where my classes were at. There's a few buildings I haven't had class in."

"That's good. Getting prepared for the quarter well I see." 

"Trying to, at least." He chuckles as he does an abrupt turn to the right and swings a door open. You follow him into another office space, where desks are lined up amongst each other. You find a few people sitting around, typing away on their desktops. It's too bad Sunwoo or Belle wasn't around. You'd probably feel a bit less nervous seeing their faces before the meeting.

"What's up, Professor Choi!" One of his lab members calls out. San does a quick nod and throws up a wave just as he unlocks his office door and steps inside. 

"Come in." He holds the door open for you once again. "Sorry it's a bit messy. I'm all over the place with these progress reports and finalizing class details."

"No worries! Honestly doesn't look messy to me." You look around seeing a stack of papers on his desk. Otherwise, everything is neat. He's got all his awards framed up and lined along the back wall. Books on shelves near his desk. A couch off to the side wall with two small pillows. A small coffee table. A mini fridge. Two chairs for guests at his desk. It's roomy, but not super roomy.

It smells like his cologne.

"Have a seat." He pulls out one of the two chairs directly in front of his desk. You sit and place your bag down on the ground, fixing yourself as Professor Choi sets his bag down and sits at his computer chair. "Gotta apologize again, it's my first meeting of the day so I don't have everything out and ready."

"No need to apologize, I get it." You chuckle and he smiles. 

"Your CV was really impressive." He says as he's pulling up said CV. He's looked at it enough times to have a photographic memory of it, which is the first for him. Right away, he can tell you'd work well in his lab. You have a good head on your shoulders, smart. Can contribute a lot. He just knows sometimes.

"Thank you." You smile and it makes San's smile grow bigger. 

"So, why do you wanna explore those areas? Tell me a little bit more about your experience with everything. Computational analysis, mice, 2P and opto-stim-neural circuit work. All that good stuff." He sits back a bit, his full attention now on you instead of your CV on the screen. You feel your hands get a 'lil clammy the more his eyes focus on you, your lips feeling a 'lil more dry than usual. Shit, he is attractive.

"Sure!" You quickly shake off the nerves and begin to tell him about your experience and interest in bioengineering. It all started when the field was briefly introduced to you in high school, and your curiosity grew to enormous levels when you found a few schools that had the specific undergrad program available. You've talked to a few seniors about their experiences, like Sunwoo, before solidifying your decision to move forward with the major. You tell him how you took a break after graduation to get some more hands-on experiences through two internships and a full-time job, working on in-vitro mice work, computational analysis and building and maintaining 2P microscopes. Then, you realized you really wanted to get back on track and pursue your graduate studies. You tell him about your rotation in Professor Bahng's lab last quarter and how you enjoyed it, but you were having trouble figuring out how you'd fit in the lab. When you talked to Sunwoo a little more about what he's been up to in Professor Choi's lab, your interest in opto-stim peeked, having been Professor Choi's niche. 

It's a nice, easy conversation. You find that Professor Choi isn't as intimidating as you thought. He chimes in with questions every now and then, making it a smooth two-way convo.

"Ah, Professor Bahng? That's my guy right there. Learned lots from him." You chuckle.

"He's brilliant."

"He is, he really, really is." He nods. "But I totally get it, it's good to experience things in order for you to understand what you really want or how to spend your time wisely."

"Exactly." You tilt your head and look at him. "That's pretty much it for me, though. Your work is great. I'm really interested in learning more and diving deep into opto-stim. I know the basics, but haven't gotten a chance to work with it. Sunwoo's project seems to encompass a lot of that, along with the other aspects I've worked with." 

"That's right. His project has been on a roll, same thing with Belle's. I can see you working between the both of them, most of your time with Sunwoo, though. I think you'll fit the best with his, and I can see a lot of potential avenues coming out of it. He's been asking for some help, too." He chuckles. "Why don't you talk to Sunwoo and Belle a little more? Then all four of us can meet in the next couple of days to finalize project ideas and details. Should be good to start the rotation afterwards if it all goes smoothly." Your eyes light up.

"Really? I-I mean, yes. I'll do that."

"Mhm. Let me know when you're ready? Just send me an another email."

"Thank you, Professor Choi." He smiles at you.

"You're very welcome. Do you have any other questions?" You look at him, head tilting out of curiosity.

"Um, not for the project. It's something more personal, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Go for it." He leans back again and rests his clasped hands on his lap.

"Why did you pursue this field?" San is having to pause because out of all the times he's met with students, people [besides formal interviews], no one has asked him that question. No one has asked him directly— people like to assume they know him because his name is out there, but not once has anyone asked about his experience.

"Hm." He hums. "It's probably gonna sound a little cliché and everything, so don't judge me." You giggle and shake your head. "It just felt like my calling? Kinda like you." When he smiles, you find yourself captivated by his dimples. They make everything about his smile so captivating and so, so charming. "I think you might know this already, but my dad was a biology professor. He always told me to challenge myself and think outside the box, and I think the early exposure to his career definitely shaped my path. He'd share his knowledge with me and try to ask me tricky questions. Make me think about what's around me, how things can be improved. Better understood. Then, I learned about bioengineering and tried to better understand it. Open new avenues for things that haven't been studied well yet. Just took lots of risks and tried things out. Failed lots of times before getting the hang of things."

"That's amazing. Your parents must be really proud."

"I hope so." He laughs. "Thanks for asking."

"Oh, no. Thank you. I wasn't sure if I overstepped with that question."

"What? No way. You're actually the first to ask and I appreciate that."

"Oh?" Is all you manage to get out, confused as to why he would say that. Has no tried to ask about him or get to know him a little better? Maybe it was just you, but you definitely thought building good, personal connections would bring more advantages than not— first and foremost, bringing comfort and ease, especially to any new environment. Who would wanna work in an awkward, tense setting?

"I mean it." San laughs. "I appreciate it. It's nice when people take a second to view me as a human and not a robot who is constantly churning work." 

"Course." The both of you maintain eye contact for a bit and it makes you feel so, so nervous that he's just looking at you. And he kinda is just looking at you. Observing you. He finds himself admiring your look once more; the hair, your smile, your nails. Cute. He knows he shouldn't, but truthfully, he can't really help himself when a beautiful woman is in front of him in general. He is a man, and a man who enjoys eye candy. "Anyway, I know you're probably booked and busy today, so let me get going."

"You're okay. I don't have anything until the next 30 mins, don't feel the need to rush."

"No, it's okay. I should totally let you be." You stand and smile at him as you sling the strap on your shoulder and tuck your bag close. "Thank you again, Professor Choi. I'm excited for what's to come."

"Me too. It'll be great, I know it." He stands, hands in his pockets as he follows you towards the door.

"Thanks." You turn to look at him, and he's not too far from you. "See you soon.. over Zoom?" You assume that since the basics and introductions are out of the way, it'll probably be more convenient for Professor Choi to do a Zoom meeting. Lo and behold, he surprises you with a: 

"In person would be nice." He smirks a bit. He does enjoy his in person meetings; they're more productive that way.

"Are you sure? I don't wanna waste your time."

"Never." He shrugs a bit. "I mean it. It's always better to talk in person, anyway." 

"I agree." You smile at him once more, hand on his door handle. "See you soon."

"Have a good one, Y/N. Feel free to email me if anything comes up."

"Appreciate it." You give him one last look before you swing the door open and find Sunwoo just about to settle down at his desk.

"Y/N! Professor Choi! Assuming it went well and I'll get the help I've been begging for?" San laughs.

"Yeah. I asked Y/N to talk to you and Belle about potential projects and to email me once she's ready so we can all meet and finalize details."

"Good with me." 

"Good with me, too." San gives you both a small, toothless smile before walking back into his office. "So, how'd it really go?"

"Good." You approach Sunwoo's desk. "He's not as intimidating as I thought. Kinda. Really laid back, though."

"Yeah, he's super chill and easy going. Super supportive. You'll enjoy it here." He waves his phone. "Sorry I missed your call earlier."

"I forgot I didn't have access into the basement."

"How'd you get in?"

"Professor Choi saw me peeking through the basement door window." Sunwoo snorts.

"Amazing first impression." You playfully pinch his bicep.

"Hate you." You pout. "I'm nervous."

"For what, dude?" He laughs. "I promise you, it's not that bad at all. As long as you put in the work and do what you need to do, everything will play out fine."

"What if I don't get into the lab post-rotation?"

"Don't say that." Sunwoo smiles. "You'll be good. Promise. You're smart and hardworking."

"We'll see. Maybe you'll realize how much of a pain in the ass I am when we work together."

"True." You glare at him and he laughs. "Kidding. Ready for classes to start soon?"

"No."

"That's the spirit." You chuckle. "Anyway, let me know when you're free this week. We can walk around the lab while we talk about projects. Belle is usually here around the same time I am so I'm sure we can grab her whenever." You nod. At this point, Chris and Yeosang walk into the room, the two in good spirits and engaging in lively conversation right before knocking on San's door. 

"Okay. I'll text you later, then. I gotta get back to Jiung, I left him upstairs."

"I saw." He chuckles and salutes just as he diverts his attention to the data on his desktop computer.

"Hi Professor Bahng, Professor Kang." You smile at them in passing and they nod in response.

"Hey Y/N! Nice to see you around these parts." Professor Bahng says with that usual happy tone of his. Professor Kang is a little more shy, but never fails to acknowledge you with a smile or soft 'hello.' Chris presses his ear to the door before laughing and swinging the door open, greeting San as casually as they can before the door shuts.

"Whattup!" Chris plops onto San's couch while Yeosang takes the other end.

"Nothing much. Just finished my meeting with the rotation student. You know her, actually."

"Oh, Y/N? Yeah! She's crazy smart. Think she'll do some good work in your lab." San nods.

"So, what's the plan you wanted to talk about?"

"I need to start planning the symposium for one of the grants. It needs to happen within the next month. Was hoping you can help us, give us a few tips? Maybe do a talk?"

"Where are you planning to do it?"

"Right next door at the Acacia Center, was hoping one of the huge conference rooms would be open."

"Probably the best place to do it because they can cater for the event, too."

"Who else can we recruit to do a talk, though?" Yeosang sits back and lets out a sigh. "Jongho?"

"Try seeing if Namjoon is free, that'll definitely draw some people." They all laugh in unison knowing Namjoon's power. "And make sure you do the whole email blast with flyers everywhere. Let people pass it along."

"Yeah, okay. But, also, don't hate me." Christopher looks at San with an awkward smile. San knows though, he knows very well what he's hinting at.

"We've already talked about this. I don't care."

"I know, but still. You're one of my good friends and I'd hate to put you in an uncomfortable position."

"Well, Yunho is always gonna be there and I don't expect things to change. We're always gonna have to work together despite what happened."

"I don't know how you do it, I'm sorry." Yeosang says, slightly shaking his head as he sinks into the couch a little more. 

"I agree. You're strong, man."

"I have no choice." San laughs. "Besides, I stopped letting that consume me a long time ago. It's none of my concern anymore. As long as I can get my shit done without issues and minimal contact, I couldn't care less."

"That's real, honestly." Chris lets out a breath. "Well, I'm gonna ask him to do a talk."

"Go for it. Will probably be good for the grant, too." San sighs. He meant it when he said he stopped letting the entire thing consume him a long time ago. And he does have to interact with Yunho whether he likes it or not; it's not like he's gonna give everything up just because he can't stand some petty drama from the past. Besides, he promised Namjoon he was okay. He promised he wouldn't cause issues even though Namjoon didn't expect any. But, it did hurt. He's not gonna lie— there are days when he still questions everything and he wonders why things unfolded the way it did. 

He just knows better now, and can actually brush it off without it affecting his mood, his surroundings.

"I gotta keep going through my list of people."

"I can ask around, too." San says. "Do you want me to see if the big conference room is free?"

"Yeah, please?" Chris laughs. "They give you everything."

"No, they don't." San rolls his eyes with a chuckle. 

"Damn near." Yeosang adds.

"Any of your lab members wanna do a poster presentation?"

"Uh." San shuts his eyes in thought for a second. "Let me ask, I think Yoon might have some good data to present."

"Okay, let me know." San nods. "You guys free for lunch later?"

"12:30, maybe?" Yeosang stands and looks at his watch. "I gotta get to my next round of meetings 'till then."

"Same. Text me where to meet?" Chris stands and nods before throwing up the peace sign.

"Will do. Thanks for the tips and for looking into the room."

"I'll let you know what they say." Both Christopher and Yeosang nod just as they walk out of his office and leave him to his peace. He makes a note to send an email after his next meeting about the room and catering, knowing how hard it can be to reserve a room within a month's time frame at this campus. He'll do what he can to help Chris, though— that's one of his good friends and somebody who didn't turn their back on him after everything that's happened. Even Yeosang, Mingi, Jongho. Namjoon. Of course, everyone works great together. Everyone is civil when they need to be. But San knows if he ever needed them, they'd be there for him in a heartbeat. 

They'd be the people he could turn to without question.

When it comes time for lunch, San is barely getting out of his meeting at 12:30pm. He finds Chris, Yeosang and Mingi at the café right across the way from the Harvey Center, falling in line with them just as it grows during the lunch hour rush. They grab their food and plop down at a shaded table off to the side, greeting a few familiar faces and passing students.

"What's up?" Yunho passes, nodding at the table and giving Chris' shoulder a quick massage. Iseul follows behind, not paying the group any mind. Yeosang, Mingi and Chris share their own 'hello's,' while Yunho and San continue to play the silent treatment with each other. Yes, San will work with Yunho if he needs to. He'll be civil, he'll act like nothing ever happened. He'll act like their relationship wasn't severed after everything that went down. But, if he's out here minding his business, eating lunch with friends— he'd rather not bump into Yunho and Iseul and make any small talk. Simply just cause. He's done a lot of work to get past that and he doesn't want anything to do it with anymore.

"Anyway." Mingi says, making Chris snort.

"Anyway. Ya'll trying to hit the gym sometime tomorrow?"

"I'm down." San says, scrolling through his phone. He'll scratch some time out of his evening to hit the gym since it's been a few days  since his last gym session. At least, he plans to finalize his class schedule before end of the day today— he'll have a little more breathing room once he submits that to the department.

"No way, you're not serious!" Your voice echoes as you exit the café, laughing along with Jiung and Felix over Felix's random encounter that he was giving you details about. San diverts his attention to your group, recognizing the outfit, the voice. He sips on his drink and continues to watch the smile on your face build, the animated hand gestures you use, the way you so attentively listen to every word your friends are telling you. Oddly enough, he finds that seeing you is a good distraction. He feels a little more relaxed post-5 second Yunho and Iseul encounter, a small subtle smile creeping up on his lips when he sees you throw your head back in laughter. It's soothing.

That's probably the moment he realizes you are enticing.

And to be honest, he's not understanding why he feels a certain pull to you; it's so uncommon and so, so foreign, to him. He doesn't even think he felt this way when he first started dating Iseul. Don't get him wrong— he did love her, he did feel the usual giddiness, the honeymoon phase, all of the above. Everything progressed as naturally as it could with that time. 

But with you, he's finding a certain itch. He's not sure how to relieve himself, especially when he knows he shouldn't. He can't. 

It'll be trouble having you around, he's very aware of that. It'll be a test for him, the boundaries he creates to make sure you both don't cross that line.

He can't.

Still doesn't mean he won't.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom

[hwaslayer]

vivrant thing (jwy) | one.

—SPOTIFY PLAYLIST / SERIES MASTERLIST

—SUMMARY: after getting into a little accident, wooyoung decides to do his sister a favor by pretending to be your date at the company summer party. as soon as the night ends, wooyoung would go back to his usual routine of hanging out with his boys, keeping his distance from committed relationships and being a typical brother to jiwoo. except, the favor comes with more than what wooyoung expects and he finds you occupying his mind more than usual. 

—PAIRING: jung wooyoung x f. reader

—GENRE: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriend’s brother au | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—WORD COUNT: 6.7k

—CHAPTER WARNINGS: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, mentions of a small car accident due to texting & driving (pls do not ever do this), lots of sibling bickering (i promise they love each other ok), alcohol consumption and intoxication, mentions of toxic relationships (not oc), mentions of sickness and death in immediate family

"Are you actually fucking kidding me?!" Jiwoo yells as she heads outside to meet her brother. "Wooyoung, you had one job!"

"And I got the job done, didn't I?" Wooyoung holds the grocery bag up. "Just got into a little accident, that's all." He points to the dent on the front of her car. 

"A little?! It's a huge dent! What did you do?! Mom!" Jiwoo yells as she heads back into the house. "I told you I didn't want Wooyoung driving my car!"

"Your car was already out in the driveway." Wooyoung adds, rolling his eyes as he leaves the grocery bag on the counter.

"Yeah, so ask me to move next time!"

"Stop yelling, your voice is giving me a headache. It's annoying."

"Mom! Dad!"

"Jiwoo, stop yelling." Their mom comes from out of the room, followed by their father. "You don't need to yell—"

"I do, because Wooyoung took my car and dented it!"

"What happened?" Their father asks, his hands on his hips.

"It was an accident—"

"You haven't even said sorry!"

"And I won't if you keep cutting me off and yelling." Wooyoung glares at her. "Yeah, fucking keep it up—"

"Hey!" Their father chimes in, cutting Wooyoung off. "The both of you, be quiet! I'm not going to ask again. What happened to your sister's car?"

"It was an accident." Jiwoo crosses her arms as Wooyoung repeats. "I just didn't brake in time so I gave the car in front of me a 'lil love tap."

"You were texting and driving, weren't you?"

"For the record, I responded to one text."

"Ugh." Jiwoo groans loudly. "I literally just got the car, Wooyoung!"

"Say sorry to your sister."

"Now, is that necessary? Cause I'll—"

"Jung Wooyoung." Their mother sternly calls for him, making Wooyoung let out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry." He looks at Jiwoo.

"You make sure that car gets fixed, Wooyoung. And take care of the costs. Your sister needs her car."

"What am I supposed to drive in the meantime?! Wooyoung's car?" Jiwoo smirks at him.

"Hell no!" Wooyoung spits. "You'll probably try and crash it into a tree the first chance you get."

"You can drive our SUV until it gets fixed."

"No!" Jiwoo looks at Wooyoung. "Wooyoung can just drive me around."

"I have shit to do that isn't on your time. Take the SUV." Jiwoo groans and rolls her eyes, brushing past her brother to get ready for the party.

"You're unbelievable. Seriously, what kind of brother are you?"

"Enough! Can we finally get ready for the bbq, please? People are going to be over soon. Can't get one moment of peace in this house when you two are home." Their mom checks the time, walking off to the kitchen with a loud sigh. "I hope you got everything from the list, Wooyoung." She yells just as she's about to dig into the bag.

"Wooyoung."

"What?"

"Be a little nicer to your sister."

"She's the one always jumping to conclusions and getting all mad. I didn't purposely try to get her car wrecked. At least I'm fine and not hurt, right?" Wooyoung rolls his eyes.

"I know, and yes, thank god. But, still. All you two do is butt heads, jeez. Can't you both try and get along sometimes?" 

"Whatever." Wooyoung heads up to his room, already annoyed by the fact that he has to be here with his family all up on his case about the accident. He can admit, maybe he should've paid better attention on the road. But, it's the way none of them even asked if he was okay— Jiwoo constantly whining and yelling at him, his parents getting on his ass and backing her up. His little sister was definitely the favorite, being the top student and all. Golden child. Was in band and the church choir, never really rebelled. While Wooyoung skipped a class [or the whole day], talked back to his parents, stayed out late and just.. enjoyed having fun. He had his good days, but he also had his bad days. He wasn't necessarily cold, but he wasn't going to sugarcoat shit either.

He's a stark contrast to his little sister.

So, he shouldn't be surprised that his parents are taking her side. He shouldn't be surprised they'd come to her rescue first. He shouldn't be surprised at all. He can't wait to get the fuck up outta here when the bbq is over. He'll be out as soon as the morning hits, before any of them can wake up and pester him about anything else.

You gather your hair back and secure it with a claw clip, running your cherry-flavored chapstick across your lips before pressing them together to spread it out. You check yourself in the mirror once more, not entirely crazy about your outfit for Jiwoo's family bbq today.

But, it'll do.

You had known Jiwoo since middle school, meeting her in the 2nd grade when you sat for lunch alone and the boisterous girl joined you. She was the new girl, but she surely didn't act like it and you admired that about her. Since then, she never left your side despite your shy nature— not engaging in much in the conversation, only humming a few words or sounds in response when she ran through list of never-ending questions. 

Even though her and Wooyoung were 2 years apart and very different, you felt like they were alike in many ways [which they'd deny until the very end].

That's how Jiwoo became your bestfriend. Because throughout all of life's changes, through your losses, she was your constant. She stayed, never wavered. Was your biggest support system alongside of your grandpa. Without her, you're not sure where you'd be. You owe alot of the push you've done in life to her.

yeosang: i'm downstairs!

you: cooooool, be down in a sec

*yeosang liked your message*

You check your outfit in the mirror once more, smoothing down the fabric before spraying a bit of perfume on your wrists. You press them together and rub it down your neck, down your clothes— a simple yellow floral tube top, white distressed jeans and your tore up chucks. It seemed fitting for a summer bbq; not one to wear dresses, shorts or mini skirts like that.

"Yo." Yeosang quickly scans your outfit just as you plop into the passenger seat and greet him. "You look nice."

"Thank you." You smile. "And thanks for picking me up." He reciprocates the smile, waiting for you to buckle up before driving off to Jiwoo's parents' house. From your tiny studio, it's about 25 minutes of a drive. Yeosang doesn't have to take the highway or anything, but he does have to navigate through the busy streets of the city before reaching their neighborhood. Jiwoo's parents celebrate their birthdays a day apart from each other, but it fell during the work week this year. So, they decided to throw a bbq with family and close friends on the weekend in order to be with everyone.

"What'd you do today?"

"I just went to get some groceries and bought a little gift for Jiwoo's parents. What about you?"

"Uh yeah, I just got their gift right before I picked you up." Yeosang chuckles. "Otherwise, I slept in a bit too much and by the time I knew it, half of my day was gone." You laugh.

"Yeo." You laugh. "You should really try waking up early. It's nice to get the most out of your day."

"It is, but you know what's also nice? Being under my covers." You laugh and shake your head, eyes fixed on the view through your window. The rest of the ride is comfortably silent with Yeosang's music playing in the background, especially since it isn't much of a drive. He does chime in here and there when he's reminded of random things he has to do or thinks about. Besides that, Yeosang is good at leaving you to your peace. When he pulls up to the street, he's having to park across from the house— Jiwoo's family and their close family friends already filling the spaces nearby.

"Oh! Y/N, Yeosang!" Jiwoo's mom sees you first, pulling you both into a hug before gesturing towards the kitchen. "Jiwoo is in here!" You both greet her happy birthday before following her into the chaotic scene that is the kitchen, Wooyoung quickly brushing past with a huge bowl of marinated beef in his hands and almost bumping into Jiwoo as she holds a huge pitcher filled with juice in her own.

"Wooyoung, move!" Jiwoo nudges him away and he glares at her.

"Stop! You'll make me drop this."

"What about me, butterfingers?"

"What about me, butterfingers?" He mocks her with a look before rolling his eyes and heading out to the backyard to meet his dad by the grill.

"I swear to God." She groans, before finally shifting her attention to you and Yeosang.

"Hi." You smile at her and you expect her mood to be lifted, but she continues to pout.

"Y/N, Yeo. Finally. Get me out of here. Please, let's just slip through the front door, no one will notice."

"Where's Joong? He has to come on our escape plan, too." You playfully go along with it.

"He's not here yet." She sighs.

"What's wrong?" Yeosang asks with a small chuckle. You look at Jiwoo with a slight head tilt, reading into the frustration in her eyes.

"Today is just so messy." She whines a bit, setting the pitcher down onto the main dining table. "Wooyoung's dumbass used my car and got into a little accident earlier."

"Oh, is he okay?"

"Yeah, look at him! He's the fucking same. But, you know what isn't? My car! The bumper is all dented and everything. You didn't see it walking into the house?" She lets out another frustrated groan and shakes her head. "Whatever, anyway, he's gonna make sure it gets fixed. He better."

"Was it his fault?"

"Yes." She sighs. "Texting and driving. Like an idiot."

"It'll be fine, Jiwoo. It's unfortunate, but I'm glad he's okay. I'm sure your brother will make sure it gets fixed in time." You add.

"He's so frustrating sometimes. Can't trust him with anything." You both follow her out to the backyard that is already filled with familiar faces. 

"It's okay, it'll get fixed." You give her a small smile and squeeze her arm. "Let's just enjoy today, okay?" She gives you a small smile and throws her arm around you, bringing you over to one of the free couches near the back corner of the yard. Some of her family members are playing badminton on the other side of the backyard, while another cousin is playing music and has Wooyoung and his friends hovering around, conveniently close to the grill.

"Oh, Y/N. I wish I could be like you, sometimes. So much patience and grace. Things I need to be successfully related to Wooyoung."

"You have it. Just.. needs more practice." Yeosang responds, making you chuckle. You finally find her dad and greet him happy birthday before greeting the rest of her family members. You, Jiwoo and Yeosang hang around the backyard for a bit, talking about work and the upcoming summer party. You don't chime in much, nor do you want to being that it'll be your third year not attending. Luckily, at this point, Jiwoo's boyfriend, Hongjoong, walks into the backyard and starts greeting everyone before he plops himself right next to Jiwoo.

"Yo! Sorry I'm a little late." He looks at you and Yeosang. "Friends! I missed you, guys. It's nice to see your faces." You laugh.

"Hi Joong."

"Where were you? I was texting and calling you!" She pouts. "We had an escape plan ready."

"Escape plan?" Joong cocks a brow up.

"Yes, so I can get away from this mess named Wooyoung and cry to myself in peace." 

"Baby, I'm sorry. I was caught up with my dad, he needed help with a few errands. The car will get fixed, okay? Glad no one was badly hurt." You smile to yourself as he kisses her on the temple. Hongjoong is a really good guy. He's perfect for Jiwoo and has a lot of patience for her. He cares for her a lot, and it's so clear you wouldn't ever second guess his feelings for her. He's selfless and would do anything for his lady without question.

You wonder what it'd be like to experience genuine true love like that. You've been in a relationship before but you couldn't exactly say it was love. Not a genuine, raw form of love, not a deep connection. Just a relationship where you learned about your partner and they learned about you, but that was far as it went. You don't remember feeling like the relationship was special, or like it was meant for you. It was more so another experience, another lesson in your book.

How does it feel to be completely, utterly, disgustingly in love and smitten with someone?

"I'll be back, I'm gonna get a drink." You mutter mid-conversation, getting up from the seat to head back into the kitchen. To your surprise, Wooyoung is there, sorting through some of the drinks set out.

"Oh, hey." Wooyoung gives you a small smile while you silently wait for him to move away from the counter where all the drinks are sitting— soda, juice and hard alcohol bottles spread across the surface. "Want me to make you something to drink?"

"Um." You softly respond. "It's alright, I was just gonna grab some juice." You point at the pitcher.

"You sure? You aren't driving anyway, right?" He points to Yeosang who is now talking to one of their cousins near the wading pool. 

"Mmyeah, I came here with Yeo."

"Alright then." He smirks. "I'll make it pretty light, hm?"

"Okay." You smile sweetly at him. You've always had the sweetest smile and Wooyoung does enjoy seeing it, he won't lie. "Thank you, Wooyoung."

"Course." You twiddle with your fingers as you watch Wooyoung make a pretty concoction in a cocktail shaker, pouring in peach schnapps and cranberry juice with a dash of vodka. He transfers the drink into a fresh cup, handing it over with a smile on his face. "Wanna taste it before you go?" You sip on the drink, eyes lighting up at how good it tasted. You weren't exactly a fan of cocktails [or alcohol in general], though you wouldn't turn down a drink or two on some occasions.

"Mm, it's good!" He chuckles.

"Yeah? Kinda pulled the measurements out of my ass but I didn't put too much vodka."

"What're you doing?" Jiwoo walks into the kitchen.

"Listening to Y/N tell me how good my drink is." She looks at you with a brow cocked up.

"You don't have to lie to him." You giggle.

"It's actually good." You hand her your cup to taste the drink. She takes a good sip and nods in approval, shifting her attention to her brother.

"She wouldn't lie to me." Wooyoung winks at you.

"Can you make me one?"

"Nah. Bar's closed now. See what all that doubting does?" Wooyoung puts the lid back onto the vodka bottle before turning on his heel to walk away.

"You're a dick."

"Love you too." He says as he walks outside and returns to his bestfriend, San.

"You okay?" You ask her as she pours some juice into her cup.

"Yeah, I just came in here wondering why it was taking you so long to get juice." You laugh as you follow her back out into the backyard and to Yeosang and Hongjoong.

"Caught your bartending brother before he closed."

"Bartending brother?" Yeosang and Hongjoong both ask.

"Mm, Wooyoung made Y/N a drink and didn't even make me one." They laugh.

"Of course."

"Anyway, do you guys wanna sit at the wading pool? Dip our feet in and watch my family act a fool?"

"Sure. That sounds fun." Yeosang shrugs.

Throughout the rest of the bbq, you, Jiwoo, Hongjoong and Yeosang engage in a few other activities with her cousins besides hanging around the wading pool with her baby cousins— karaoke, some rounds of badminton, watching Jiwoo go head to head with her brother and older cousins in beer pong. From time to time, you catch Wooyoung looking over at you, giving off tiny smiles to be friendly. It isn't entirely uncommon, Wooyoung was always nice to you despite the distance. You don't talk much, but he doesn't necessarily treat you like a stranger especially after all these years.

It's a nice thing about him, their family— they're there for you.

They're there for you so much that Jiwoo comes up with the most incredible [in her terms] idea while she catches you cheering for Wooyoung during the very last round of beer pong against their cousins. It gets rowdier and rowdier, Wooyoung and his cousins yelling back and forth; their voices echoing into the sky. You try to sink behind Yeosang, jumping at the sudden cheers and random banging.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just a little loud." You scrunch your nose, Yeosang throwing his arm around you to provide some kind of comfort during the round. When evening officially hits, the partying doesn't stop. If anything, it gets a little more rowdy with alcohol running through everyone's system. 

"Oh, fuck!" Wooyoung says, the beer tipping out of his cup when his cousin rams into him and spilling onto your jeans. 

"Jung Wooyoung!" You hear his mom yell while his dad laughs alongside of her, nudging her to let it go.

"Oh shit, Y/N. I'm so sorry." He looks at you before glaring at his cousin. "You dipshit, look at what you did!"

"Wooyoung!" Jiwoo yells, dabbing a napkin to the wet spot on your jeans.

"It's okay, Jiwoo—" You try to chime in, but your response gets drowned within the ruckus.

"It's Sebeom's fault, not mine! Why is everyone calling my name!"

"You both are idiots!" She groans, taking another napkin to your leg.

"The hell is the napkin gonna do, Jiwoo?" Wooyoung sets his cup down before gently grabbing your wrist. "Let's go dab some water on that." You silently follow behind, letting Wooyoung politely drag you into the kitchen. He's clearly drunk, fighting with the paper towel roll before he successfully peels off a few sheets and runs it under the water.

"Wooyoung, it's okay. I can always throw it in the wash."

"Still, it'll get sticky and smell like beer in the meantime." He says, crouching down and dabbing the wet towel to the spilled beer on your jeans. "I'm sorry, Y/N. You know how my family gets."

"It's alright." You watch as he pinches the edge of your jeans and tugs it outwards, widening the surface area as he continues to wipe away. 

"It might look worse at first, but the water will help." He clicks his teeth. "Did it get anywhere else on you?" 

"Just my left arm but it's fine—" He stands, albeit a bit wobbly at first, taking another end of the napkin to dab away at the small wet spots on your arm.

"Okay." He says, tossing the tissue away. "Better." He gives you a toothless smile. "Won't do it again."

"Thank you, Wooyoung. It's fine, it's not a big deal. Really."

"As long as I did a better job than Jiwoo." He says, leading you back out to the backyard.

"You made it worse!" Jiwoo yells.

"It gets worse before it gets better! Plus, the beer smell won't be lingering." Wooyoung scoffs. "At least Y/N is grateful for it." As soon as you've settled next to your friends, everyone begins to sing happy birthday to Wooyoung and Jiwoo's parents before digging in for more food and sharing the ginormous cake Jiwoo ordered from a mutual friend. Wooyoung brushes Jiwoo off to the side, determining that he has the best cake-cutting skills between the both of them.

"Here, Y/N. For you." Wooyoung hands you a hefty slice of cake, eyes still glazed over from the alcohol he had been drinking. You watch as he licks the icing from his thumb, shaking his head in ironic approval. "The cake is so good. Thank god Jiwoo got it right for once—"

"Wooyoung, shut up!" 

"Don't start again!" Their mom yells from the other end of the table, yet the two continue to bicker. You, Hongjoong and Yeosang stay out of it and eat away at the cake, continuing to mingle with their family members for the rest of the night until Yeosang feels his social battery dying.

"You ready? We could stay if you want, though." You shake your head.

"I'm good. Let's go say bye to Jiwoo and her parents." He nods. You find Jiwoo first, talking to one of her aunts off to the side. You squeeze her wrist as a signal that you and Yeo are getting ready to leave, her eyes widening. Bottom lip poking out. Whines ready to leave her lips.

"Nooo, you're leaving me? Please take me with you." You laugh and rub her back as you pull away from the hug.

"You'll see me tomorrow. I'll be expecting you to come over."

"First thing in the morning. Leave some room in your bed." Yeosang shakes his head and turns to Hongjoong to bid him farewell.

"Make sure you bring her girlfriend home safely." Hongjoong says seriously, patting Yeosang on the back. 

"Will do." He nods. You follow Yeosang out towards the front door, clinging onto his sleeve as you navigate the busy house. You almost slip out successfully until Wooyoung pauses in his steps, doing a double-take when he catches you on his way back to the backyard.

"You're leaving?" You nod, chuckling to yourself when you see him drunk-whining just like his sister. "It's early!" He whines a bit. "Were you not gonna say bye to me? I thought we were cool, Y/N."

"Bye Wooyoung." You wrap your arms around his waist as he pulls you into a rough, but tight bear hug. "Bye San." You wave at San, in which he responds with a tiny smile and wave.

"Drive safely!" He calls out before leaving. You finally get out of the house, Yeosang waiting for you by the front door. You're not even gonna lie, you are pretty exhausted already, and you're excited to get washed up to lay in bed and pick up your current read. Jiwoo's family was always fun, so lively and full of energy. They fit so well together, like they were all perfectly molded and crafted as one. They've become like your second family, and you wished you had your own you could be the same with. But, that also goes to say, their parties always leave you exhausted.

When Yeosang gets you home, you thank him for the ride and give him a hug once he's dropped you off at the door. You slowly waddle into the studio, a smile on your face when you see your bed, your nightlight— the smell of incense still lingering in the room. You quickly hop in the shower and get ready for bed, looking at the big, bright 10:27pm in white on your nightstand clock. You slip into bed, getting cozy under your sheets before grabbing your book. Jiwoo is texting you and Yeosang pictures from today, including ones of her cousins getting crazy during beer pong.

Today was fun. It's over, and it was fun.

Today is not over for Jiwoo, though.

A few of their family members linger around while Jiwoo and her mom continue to clean around the house. She orders her lazy ass brother to haul out the bags of trash to the garbage can and to clean up the remaining mess from the beer pong game out in the backyard. Once all of the cleaning as finished, Jiwoo rushes to the bathroom to beat her brother for a shower. She feels like she can finally relax, finally settle down, finally set her plan in motion—

"I need you to do me a favor." Jiwoo leans against the doorframe of Wooyoung's old room as he folds his clothes neatly into his duffle bag, grabbing a new pair of clothes to change into once he's showered.

"Depends." He mutters, not taking his eyes off of his bag.

"No, you at least owe me this." He scoffs.

"Nevermind, I need to shower. Come back to me in 3-5 business days—"

"You didn't even make me a drink earlier!

"Not my fault you doubted my bartending skills." He furrows his brows. "Plus, I already told you I was getting your car fixed."

"Great, then you can do one more favor for me." Wooyoung sighs as he turns to look at her.

"What, Jiwoo?"

"Can you be Y/N's date to our company's summer party?"

"What?" Wooyoung furrows his brows and lets out a pathetic chuckle. "You're kidding, right?"

"What's that supposed to mean? She's my bestfriend."

"Yeah, clearly. Why can't she find someone else to go with her? Like that guy you two are close with, Yeosang?"

"Um, that's weird." She furrows her brows. "That won't do. If she wanted to go with him, she would've done it a long time ago. You know her. She hasn't gone the past two years, I'm not gonna let her pass up on this one."

"So then go ask your man if he has a friend he can spare?"

"She's not gonna wanna go with any of his friends!"

"Too damn bad."

"You cleaned up her jeans like a saint earlier!" 

"Because it was the right thing to do! What does that even have to do with this?!"

"Wooyoung." She whines, almost stomping her foot. Wooyoung pauses to look back up at her.

"Even if I agreed, you do know how awkward this might be, right? Not only for me, but for her, too." Wooyoung shrugs. "I know she's been your bestfriend for years but we aren't exactly close like that. We're two very different people. We can't exactly spend a whole evening together. Alone."

"I'll be there with Hongjoong."

"That's what I said. We'd be alone." Jiwoo groans.

"She'd definitely be more comfortable with you than someone else!"

"Doubt that. She's quiet and shy. Very much the opposite of me?"

"Yeah, big ass mouth."

"That can be useful." He smirks, making Jiwoo wince in disgust.

"You're so disgusting, Wooyoung. Maybe I should take this back."

"You really think she'd play along with this?"

"Yes!" Wooyoung squints his eyes.

"You didn't even tell her about this plan, did you?"

"She'll go along with it. Please. I just want her to go and have fun for once."

"Hm." He hums, deep in thought. "Nah."

"Just one night!" Wooyoung sighs.

"No."

"Wooyoung!" She pouts.

"Jiwoo, seriously. Quit."

"You owe me! I've had your back so many times, and I've never asked you for anything else out of the ordinary." He looks at Jiwoo and he actually feels a bit bad about the car situation. And it's true, even though they don't always get along, Jiwoo has always had his back and covered for him when she didn't entirely need to. She's always had his back even when he didn't really deserve it. He subtly nibbles on the inside of his cheek, letting out a deep sigh before shaking his head.

"Whatever. Tell me the details." She squeals and he quickly turns. "And by the way, this is your idea. Not mine. I'm only doing you a favor so you can stop hounding me about the car. It's one night and that's it. If she gets mad, that's all on you."

"Fine. Consider your debt paid." She gives him a small smile. "Thank you."

"What are you talking about, Jiwoo?"

"I want you to go to the party and have fun." She pouts a bit, brushing your hair away from your face. You furrow your brows at her, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

"But, parties aren't really my thing." You shrug. "And besides, I don't really have anyone to go with. I hate to say it, but I don't wanna show up alone. Everyone has dates they can bring. You have Hongjoong." You look over Jiwoo's shoulder and catch Yeosang talking to his team members at the far end of the room. He catches you looking over, flashing you a small smile before returning his attention to his coworker.

Yeosang was great, no lie. He was a good guy, everyone could see that from miles away. He was smart, diligent, kind, and the biggest team player. He started at the same time as your cohort of new hires, Jiwoo starting a couple of months beforehand. When you saw him in person, you did find him attractive. He was at a good height and well-built, black flowy hair framing his chiseled face. At first, you thought Yeosang was just being nice to you. But, slowly, he'd accompany you to the break room for coffee breaks. Bring you coffee and pastries from another shop on random mornings. Occasional outings to lunch. Until finally, he'd accompany you to casual dinners where it felt a little too serious to be considered casual— you just didn't wanna dwell on it. Too shy to say anything or bring it up because your brain goes on overdrive and makes you think you're reading into this more than you should.

He was just your friend, being your friend. So you'd like to think.

You weren't really sure what you wanted out of this, but at this moment in time, you felt like Yeosang was good enough as that. If people found out you weren't entirely into him, they'd probably think you're crazy. And you probably are, but as much as you appreciate Yeosang's company and his kindness, you fear you'd be forcing yourself into something with him.

That's not what you think Yeosang deserves.

If anything were to develop, you'd like it to develop naturally. It hasn't yet, so maybe this was a sign that you two were actually better off as friends? You're not good at this whole dating thing, reading into signs and signals.

"I know you don't really wanna go with him either."

"It's not that. I just feel like it'd be awkward and I'd ruin our friendship. It'd feel way too forced for me."

"Y/N, you're gonna have to tell him sooner or later." You shake your head. "Then?"

"Then, I don't know. I just don't know about him. That's why I'm perfectly fine staying home and being away from all of that."

"What if my brother goes with you?" Your eyes widen.

"W-Wooyoung?" She nods. "No, Jiwoo. Is this what this is all about?"

"Look, don't get mad, okay? Just hear me out." You cross your arms as she lets out a breath. "I asked my brother to accompany you to the party and he agreed to go."

"What?!" You say a bit louder than expected. "Is it because he feels bad for me?"

"No! Shh!" Jiwoo furrows her brows at you. "I mean, he also owes me, but—" 

"Jiwoo, I'm not a charity case!" You harshly whisper.

"I know, I know! You aren't. I just really want you to go." Truthfully, if this were any other person or circumstance, you'd probably feel a little hurt [even with good intentions]. You'd certainly feel like a charity case, and you'd feel sorry for yourself; especially for having to be set up in this way.

But, you're surprisingly not all that hurt by it.

Again, you know Jiwoo has good intentions and she would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. She does have a point— you haven't really gone to any of the big summer parties. You didn't mind it, but now that you think about it, you feel like you can't hide forever. The feeling of missing out settles in the pit of your stomach, and it's awful.

You're probably the only person who ducks out on these things. You're the one to blame for choosing not to be involved and for shielding yourself away from people, any inconvenience, etc. Shielding yourself away from fun, happiness. Life doing its thing.

"Mm yeah." You look at her. "I'm not close to your bother like that, though." It's true despite how he can be in person. Although you and Jiwoo were glued to the hip growing up, Wooyoung had his own group of friends and didn't pay much attention to you and his little sister. You both knew the basics about each other, have gone on trips together, tagged along with Wooyoung when he was the only means of transportation for you and Jiwoo. Why would he be worried about you, anyway? You two were busy fangirling over B2K, young Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You and Sean Patrick Thomas in Save the Last Dance, screaming at the top of your lungs whenever your favorite songs came on and shopping for hours at the same mall almost every weekend.

Not exactly Wooyoung's cup of tea.

Wooyoung was always rough-housing with his friends or going on casual 'dates' with different girls, blasting his 90s music in his room [like Vivrant Thing by Q-Tip, it's his fave] that'd shake Jiwoo's walls and drive her crazy. He had a few relationships that always ended up crazy toxic and you've seen the girls crying over him on their doorstep or throwing shit at his window to grab his attention after days of no communication. Despite that, he's not entirely a bad brother. He did his best to support Jiwoo throughout all her milestones in life, never missing an important event or being there for her when she needed her brother more than anyone else. They bicker and fight. A lot. But, they'd be there for each other in a heartbeat if needed. No question.

"You do! You know he's full of himself and gross." You give her a look.

"Okay, really? That's supposed to make this better?"

"Sorry, kidding. Just my defense mechanism as his sister." She crosses her arms and sighs. "But, Wooyoung isn't exactly a stranger. And knowing my brother, he'd lead the entire time. Just let him accompany you to the party and call it a night! At least you'll be there with me and we can have fun together."

"You're gonna be busy with Hongjoong." You slowly walk back to your desk.

"I'm not. At least not entirely." 

"Jiwoo." You look at her.

"I won't be too busy with him! I promise." Jiwoo looks at the date on your computer. "It's up to you, Wooyoung already agreed. But, today's the last day to RSVP."

"I feel bad, I told Yeosang I wasn't going."

"This isn't entirely how I'd go about things but hey, he'll see you with my brother. Maybe that'll initiate a talk, and you can tell him you don't want to ruin your friendship."

"Mm." You hum and pull up the email with the RSVP button, not really trying to think about the whole thing too deeply. "I don't have anything to wear."

"It's fine, we'll go shopping soon! We have some time before the party." She softly squeals as she watches you type away and send off your RSVP.

"Jiwoo, I don't know how to get ready for these things. I can't even do my hair and makeup properly."

"Babe. I will help you get this sorted out. Don't even worry. We're gonna have fun! It'll be good. I'm just happy you're finally coming." You give her a small smile.

"I hope it'll be good." Your bottom lip slightly pokes out. "Am I supposed to text your brother and thank him?"

"No. Don't worry about him."

"He's accompanying me to the party, of course—"

"Seriously, don't. It'll be fine. I promise."

"Papa?" You gently open the door and walk in, setting your shoes aside.

"Is that my girl?" Your grandfather comes from around the kitchen, holding two small bowls of rice in his hand. "You made it in time for dinner!"

"I can never miss dinner with you." You giggle, stepping out of your shoes and placing your things down before taking your place at the table. "How was your day today, papa?"

"Good." He sits in front of you with a smile.

"Did you exercise like you promised?"

"Yes." He gives you a look, making you chuckle. Your grandfather was 77 years old and still active, still healthy as can be. When you moved out, you made him promise he'd continue his exercise regimen and that he'd continue to keep himself healthy with wholesome foods. Reading. Going out and exploring the town. After all these years, he's the only one who has taken care of you well— having lost your mom and dad at an early age due to illnesses, same thing with your grandma. Despite the adversity, your grandpa made sure to put you first even if he was hurting, if he was tired, if he was stressed. He never took that out on you. He never made you feel like you were a burden, or like there was love lacking under his roof.

It was time for you to do the same.

"Good." 

"How was the bbq?"

"Good! It was fun. Loud. Chaotic. Per usual at the Jung household." He laughs.

"Sounds like you had a good time." You nod. "How about work?"

"It was okay. It was pretty busy at first, but eventually settled." You avoid contact, digging into your rice when you grab a piece of samgyeopsal sitting in front of you. He watches you closely, seeing how you've gotten quieter in the last few minutes, signaling you were hiding something.

"Did else happen today that's making you watch the rice in your bowl?" You give off a tiny laugh and shake your head.

"Mm, well. Jiwoo convinced me to go to the summer party."

"You're going?" He smiles from ear to ear, happy to hear that you're finally going to enjoy yourself at the summer party you always avoided. He never forced you to do things outside of your comfort zone, but he did wish you'd go and enjoy yourself from time to time. Be happy. Have fun. "Good, I'm happy you're going! Is Jiwoo going with Hongjoong?"

"Mhm!"

"Then.." Papa looks at you with a small smirk. "Are you going with Yeosang?" You shake your head.

"N-no."

"No?" He looks at you, surprised. You've definitely talked to your grandfather about Yeosang and how you were feeling about everything. Even then, he was still surprised you weren't going together as friends.

"I'm going with Wooyoung."

"Jiwoo's brother?" You nod.

"Papa, it's kinda stupid. The way everything happened and how I ended up going." You

"Nothing is stupid. Try me. How did you end up with Wooyoung as your date?"

"Well, now I'm gonna sound like a charity case."

"You are not." You give your grandpa a look before stuffing your face with more rice and pork.

"Wooyoung got into a little accident while using Jiwoo's car."

"Is he alright?" You nod.

"Yes, he's okay. Jiwoo is having him cover the car.. but also slipped in another favor." You shyly look up as you continue to nibble on your food, and your grandpa laughs.

"Ah, and that favor is the party, I'm assuming."

"Yeah. It's silly."

"It's not. She's coming from a good place and just wants you there. The whole car thing is unfortunate but for her, seems to be the right stroke of luck to get her bestfriend at the summer party." You giggle.

"I guess you could say that." You sigh. "I'm just worried about Yeosang. I told him I wasn't going and I'm not sure I will."

"You'll just show up with Wooyoung?" You shrug.

"I don't know how to do these things, Papa. I don't wanna hurt him, but I really can't see myself being his date or take this further. I don't know what to say or how to say it yet."

"Eventually, you're gonna have to, you know that, right? For the sake of your friendship. He seems like a great guy, and I'm sure he'll understand whatever the case is, Y/N."

"I know." You shake your head. "I will. But, not now." Papa nods quietly before eating another spoonful.

"It'll turn out fine, okay? Don't worry about it too much."

"Thank you." You softly smile.

"Anyways, back to Wooyoung—" He pauses to eat some more. "It's not the most common way to find a date. But, weirdly, I'm glad it happened this way. I want you to go and have fun." You silently look at him. "Life doesn't slow down, you don't get any younger. Take the opportunities no matter how silly it may sound at first. Make more memories."

"I know. I'm just.. I feel awful that Wooyoung even has to go with me. He's probably going to have the worst time."

"Don't say that. He's going with you and the both of you will have fun. Let yourself have fun. Plus, it's Wooyoung. You know him. I'm sure he'll do what he can to make sure you are comfortable."

"I guess so."

"Enjoy, and have fun. Don't worry about anything, promise me that?"

"I'll try."

"That's all I can ask for." Because all he wanted was to see you happy. Genuinely happy in your own skin. Enjoying yourself. Having fun. 

All he wanted was to see you smile over life again.

—PERMANENT TAGLIST: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @heyitsmetonid

[atxxzist]

spring in our hearts | c.s

summary: the spring where you finally fall in love and experience everything that comes with it; the good and the bad

pairing: choi san x f!reader

genre: angst, slice of life, slowburn, romance, fluff?

word count: 21.4k

pink.

everything outside is turning pink. the petals fallen from the cherry blossom trees sweeping the streets as the wind carries it away with the cold chill, making the arrival of spring feel so much realer.

pink has always reminded you of love though your best friend tells you to not think about it often. he believes you're horrible at it and has a shallow view on it.

you wouldn't say you're horrible if you don't exactly have the experience for it, your only romantic relationship ever was freshman year of college with a boy from english who found you cute but broke it off after only 3 months because he thought you weren't interested.

yeosang still brings it up occasionally because only texting a boy when they texted you and telling them you could only hang out once a week isn't the way to show someone you do like them.

you thought it was quite the statement coming from yeosang because he wasn't much of a prize either before his current relationship that finally managed to last longer than 6 months.

but he think he has finally found the one. he's sure of it. and maybe he's right about you being horrible to some extent because you wouldn't understand or know the feeling of when someone is just right.

you still don't get how your uncle was willing to move halfway across the country for the 'love of his life', leaving everything he knew behind in hope of making it work, or how your mother married your father against her parents wishes although you know him to be a great man.

even the compromises both yeosang and grace have to make can be hard to wrap your head around, but yeosang always says every time that once you meet that person, you will understand.

"this seat taken?"

your thoughts are broken and your neck snaps away from the window and its petal shower to the voice beside that takes your breath away momentarily because though he's just standing there in his morning hair, grey hoodie, and sweatpants, he looks absolutely out of place in this small cafe.

you shake your head, a knot forming in your throat the longer you stare at this stranger.

"i'll take it, if that's okay with you."

"go ahead," you assure, no idea why you're so captivated by this stranger you've known for less than a minute, eyes unable to leave as he removes his backpack to place in the seat next to him and finally takes the seat across from you.

you clear your throat, scanning the surrounding and just noticing how packed it has gotten within the few minutes you were out before looking back down to the half finished sketch on the table.

"you go there?"

the question pulls your head back up, meeting eyes once again with this stranger who has now comfortably seated himself, confused as to what he's talking about until he points with his chin to the sweater you're wearing that has your school logo plastered all over it.

you let another second of silence slip through before answering in your most friendliest tone because you don't usually get people trying to start conversations often, or at all.

"oh, yes," you say. "it was a shirt my friend didn't want."

you regret the words as soon as they leave, feeling like you wanna smack ur head onto the table because you don't know why you needed him to know that.

you really are not big on school spirits or whatever, but yeosang had offered it to you after he bought a size too small.

and this stranger is probably able to sense your nervousness just now that he attempts to giggle it off, dimples emerging from his cheeks all of a sudden that you can't keep your eyes off of.

you've seen a fair share of good looking guys in your lifetime, but this dude might just be at the very top and you're thinking the only obvious reason he'd even wanna sit with you is because all the other seats were taken.

"well that's nice of them," he says with a warm smile. "it's a well designed shirt."

you nod slowly at that.

"i guess so."

"i just transferred the beginning of this year so i just thought it was cool to run into someone alike."

"oh?" your pitch piques with a unique kind of interest. "y-you also go there?"

"yes. junior, going onto senior next semester. you?"

"same..." you answer, fighting the tiniest smile that wants to break out because what were the chances the two of you are the exact same age, and it's not like you plan on seeing him after this, but to hear how big the possibilites are is a little crazy.

he chuckles, one hand running over his disheveled hair as you're sure the same thing is also going through his mind.

"and then what?" yeosang asks, after you finish the retelling of your encounter with the incredibly cute and kind boy from the cafe.

"what?" you repeat, one eyebrow raised.

"what happened after?" he states, as if asking the obvious while spinning around in the computer chair that belongs to his girlfriend.

"i had to go to class," you answer, unfazed and oblivious much to yeosang's frustration which is why he wanna facepalm right then and there.

"you didn't even ask for his number?"

you shake your head. "no."

"i bet you don't even know his name," he says only sarcastically but he would be right.

"i don't."

you watch in bafflement as yeosang continues to sigh and complain before grace comes bursting through the door with the two boxes of pizza.

"you won't believe what your girl just told me," yeosang opens his big mouth and tells on you the second he can, prompting grace to hum in curioisity because she's just as equally nosy.

"what happened?" she says, placing the boxes on the stand next to the door.

"little miss over here had a cute boy actually talk to her and didn't even ask for his number nor his name," yeosang spews, accusation in his tone like you just committed a crime. "and worst of all, she lost the pen i got her for christmas."

grace gasps in response and plops down next to you as her weight makes the bed sink.

you roll your eyes, dismissing the last comment but going on to defend your name, "okay. you're being dramatic. it's not like i want him to be my boyfriend. i just happened to meet someone pleasant and i'm okay with the idea that nothing more will come from it."

your best friend shakes his head in disapproval and mutters, "you anti-romantic."

"and where did you meet this boy again?" grace asks.

"the cafe i usually go to."

"maybe you'll run into him again." she shrugs.

"maybe," you utter lowly. "but it's ok. like i said, i just thought it was a nice encounter and had to tell yeosang about it but if i knew he was gonna make a big ass deal, i would've just told you."

"excuse you," yeosang chimes in, "i was just looking out for you. you need to get yourself a boyfriend or at least a friend of your own so you won't be cockblocking all the time."

"first of all, i did get myself a friend," you say, your voice a type of snarky, "but you had to go and make her your girlfriend."

yeosang scoffs, the topic making rounds once again and proceeds to stop spinning himself to churn out another comment to annoy you.

"well maybe she became your friend because she was always meant to be my girlfriend."

you met grace as soon as you stepped foot onto campus given she was your literal roommate, and it only took a couple days to become comfortable with each other because the girl was so friendly and welcoming unlike anyone you've ever met before.

it wasn't until a week later that you considered the two of you actual friends, taking in the fact she was someone you saw yourself sticking by even in the far future.

but it only took another month for yeosang to see what you saw in her and snatched her away, recalling how fast their relationship went from friendly to romantic, you were so annoyed with yeosang because if anything went awry, it would've costed you the first friend you've made besides him.

but here's to them going on 2 years and a half so you really hope yeosang doesn't fuck it up because you think with his track records, you're in the right to have some doubts.

ignoring his response, you go on, "and second of all, your bitch ass invited me so how am i cockblocking?"

grace lets out half a chuckle and stands up to head for the boxes earlier, turning to the both of you.

"you both are hangry. pizza?" she offers.

yeosang takes a slice while you shake your head, telling her you're not hungry right now.

"my point is," yeosang continues, "it was the perfect chance and you completely missed it, but it's whatever now. i summoned you today because i've only seen your hermit ass like three times ever since the start of the term."

"well, yes. i wanted to focus on my studies."

"you need to learn how to relax once in a while," he says, with actual sympathy this time, "which is why i think you're gonna love what i have to say next."

but it just mellows out into an almost sarcastic-like tone, as if he knows you're gonna hate the idea but he's still persistent to go through with it.

"what?" you say, unamused.

he adjusts himself in the chair and puts the barely bitten pizza on standby as grace stares in anticipation because you're sure she already knows exactly what he's gonna say.

"so like, remember yunho?" he squeaks.

it takes a raised brow and maybe two seconds, but you manage to remember, blurting, "jeong yunho?"

"yes!" he nods way too excitedly.

all you really know about jeong yunho was that you've met him probably only twice and had less than a conversation when you did, though not failing to recall how soft-spoken and kind he also was.

"it's his birthday... well, technically his birthday already passed, but he's gonna be holding a late party to celebrate it and i might've maybe told him you're gonna come," yeosang announces, ending the ment with a stupid goofy smile like that's gonna lessen the impact.

"what the fuck, yeosang?"

you scowl, and grace jumps in, "i told him not to but he didn't wanna listen."

"it's a great opportunity!" he cowers back, high-pitched and all as he tries standing his ground.

"you know how much i hate parties!" you yell back just as loud.

"you've been to one!"

"one too much!"

"oh come on, y/n!" he slumps back in the chair staring at you like a disappointed parent. "you only have a year left after this semester. do you really not even wanna have some fun?"

"no. i really don't," you deadpan, much to an eyeroll and sigh from him while grace just sits by idly watching.

"it's not gonna be one of those crazy weird frat parties, i promise. just a house party with close friends, yunho said. plus, there's gonna be plenty of cute guys there."

"good for you. maybe you can find someone there," you say unseriously much to a giggle from grace but to an unamused yeosang because he seriously mean it.

he wants you out of your comfort zone at least just once and go and talk to people you might potentially like, having stayed in your own bubble for so long.

"please?"

the desperation makes you fight the urge to give in but you're losing, only huffing in annoyance.

"what happened to 'you're horrible at this romantic shit'?" you cite him word for word, throwing it back in his face.

"that's cause you really are. plus, you were being annoying at the time. but still doesn't mean i don't want you to try."

you think you're gonna regret. you know you're gonna regret it, but a part of you want to do it just for your best friend so you cave.

"i'll go. but if someone pukes on me again, i'm making you clean that shit with your own mouth."

the party starts at 7 p.m. sharp but yeosang's late birthday gift run leaves you guys almost an hour late, lightly knocking on yunho's door at 7:54 p.m. expecting for the house to be flooded with even more people you don't know but you're surprise to see a couple familiar faces in the background when the door comes apart.

"hey!" the tall birthday boy greets all of you, a lady by her side and arm wrapped around his who you can only assume to be his girlfriend sends a friendly smile the same time.

"come in, come in," he ushers, the three of you stepping inside to the much humble and comforting interior, nothing alike a stereotypical party setting and it's already managed to be the better party you've attended.

it's homey, a bit classy, and you should've expected it because the house is also in a relatively safe part of the neighborhood.

"you guys made it!" yunho welcomes again, his voice loud and excited, eyes traveling between your friends before it eventually stops on you.

"y/n, right?" he says, your name almost foreign sounding coming from him.

you nod in response and the taller boy smiles in relief, not typical of him to forget names but also not wanting to mess up and offend you.

"glad you could make it. i was afraid you couldn't because yeosang went on and on about how much parties scares you."

you narrow your eyes at your best friend and his habit of oversharing before a loose chuckle escapes.

"did he now?"

"he did," yunho says, also a small giggle out of him as if trying to ease the mood and make you comfortable. "but don't worry about it. it's not gonna be crazy, i'm sure of that."

"i appreciate it," you thank him, touched by the kind gesture of assurance although the man barely knows you. "i'll try to enjoy myself."

again, you've only seen yunho on two occasions before this and you can barely even recall the second one, only seeing him in passing along with others currently at the party when you'd go seek out yeosang inbetween classes.

yeosang smirks from beside you, happy and impressed from how you're already easing yourself into the situation, clearing his throat and deciding it's his turn.

"this is for you, birthday boy," yeosang says, presenting the gift in his hand proudly as if he didn't panic just almost 2 hours ago when you brought up if he was gonna get yunho something.

"appreciate it, man. i'm gonna put it with all the other gifts to open later."

he takes it into his hold, attention shortly pulled away by another knock at the door.

"i'm gonna get that. you guys make yourself at home," yunho says, excusing himself with his lady still at armrest.

"see, that wasn't so bad," yeosang takes the first chance he gets as soon as yunho's out of earshot, nudging you by the shoulder much to an eyeroll in return.

"don't speak so fast, we haven't even made it past 10 minutes."

"it's gonna be awesome," he states, convinced of his own words. "you, grace, and all the other girlies can hang out or something while i'm gonna go chat it up with the boys."

a visible annoyance paints grace's expression as she huffs, "if that's the case, i'm coming with. you seem to get stupider with every party."

a couple minutes later and a banter between the lovebirds about how reckless yeosang gets when he's drunk, you wind up in the downstairs bathroom of yunho's house, regretting that you didn't take grace's advice of peeing before coming.

at least the bathroom's nice but you don't wanna have to go out of your way and look for your friends in midst of all staring eyes. you already had enough of those making your way here.

the two had said they wouldn't leave you and it's best you guys stick together, but when you finally spot yeosang, he's already chatting it up with someone new when he was talking to wooyoung before--someone you also don't know well except the fact he's loud and extroverted the last time you met him.

grace is nowhere to be found and you're thinking whether you should just go look for her or insert yourself into the conversation yeosang and this stranger who's only visible from the back of his head, is having.

you don't get to make a choice because yeosang is quick to make it for you, sneaking over this person's shoulder and locking eyes with yours, one hand in the air motioning you to come as if you're his pet while his other is now occupied with a red cup.

you can hear him spewing from a distant as you make your way there, telling the person before him, "oh right, san, this is--"

"--strawberry peach?" the voice not belonging to yeosang says, so strange but familiar and recent at the same time, it stops you dead in track once you meet his eyes.

"strawberry peach lemonade?"

you pick your head up at what sounds like a question, following his gaze to your drink on the table, answering a mere, "yes."

"you came to a cafe to get lemonade?" he tease, delivery a type of amused that would've offended you if not for the smile on his lips.

"what's wrong with that?"

he snickers lowly and shakes his head before going back to his book and muttering, "nothing."

"oh?" yeosang is as confused as the both of you. "you two know each other?" because very rarely do you ever know anyone before he does.

"we met the other day," san tells your friend, your lips tight and body too in shock to answer properly. "at a cafe. she got the strawberry peach lemonade."

"oh. oh!" yeosang's volume turns an octave, a realization hitting him and making the corners of his lips go up because this is the guy you were going on about who was so cute and left such an impression you had to tell him when he knows you to not even look twice a guy's direction.

"thank god," you friend says. "i was afraid she went by some alias on the internet i wasn't aware of."

the comment makes both you and san freeze in place before a chuckle comes hurling out of him though he was fighting to bite it back.

you don't blame him because why would you when your best friend just implied he thought it was your possible camgirl name.

"you're fucking stupid," you hiss, a mix between laughing it off and feeling extremely embarrassed in front of the sole person you didn't think you'd ever meet again and this is how you're officially reintroduced.

"well," yeosang exhales, quick to brush off the remark because he has other things in mind, "i'm gonna go look for grace."

you knew it was coming and that he was gonna try to get the two of you alone but you didn't think it'd come this fast, your palms already starting to sweat and your feet feels like it's gonna make a run for it.

"i'll catch you guys later. you two have fun," yeosang bids goodbye as san returns one while you're just standing and thinking of all the ways to get back at him if this doesn't go well.

"a bit crazy, isn't it?"

that soft, melodic tone pulls you away from yeosang's walking figure and to his eyes that could almost melt you on the spot, that strange sensation settling in the pit of your stomach from his lingering gaze.

"definitely a bit crazy," you manage to say after composing yourself, because you do wanna talk to him and not scare him away, but you're feeling a lot more self-conscious than usual.

but whereas you cave easily under stressful situations, san treads through them with confidence, breaking the ice by asking a question.

"that guy, yeosang, you guys together?"

and if you were in the middle of drinking something, you would've spat it right out at such question.

"definitely not," you deny passionately, though it wouldn't be the first; you and yeosang getting the accusation from time to time because you two happen to be of opposite sex and are actually just friends.

"i'd rather lose an arm before picking to settle with him," you add.

you love your best friend, you do. he's always there for you when needed and has been with you through everything, but he's also messy, lazy, and probably the most disgusting person you know.

grace is a soldier for putting up with it for almost three years now and you don't know how she does it.

san chuckles at the response and the pure offense on your face.

"why not? sounds like an overall decent dude."

"i've known him since middle school. he's more a friend than anything and sometimes like a brother. plus, he has a girlfriend, grace."

"ah," san coos, "so you're the friend. he did say he came with his girlfriend and a friend but he thought his friend was trying to hide."

you shouldn't have expected any better from yeosang but you still wanna kick when you do see him, opting to calmly explain yourself, "was just taking a while in the restroom, that's all."

though you're not sure if it was necessary to address that, your cheeks burning a light pink after that san takes notice to.

he giggles it off and you're glad it made him smile at least.

"if i knew i was gonna meet you here, i'd bring your pen, but i don't think neither of us were expecting such coincidence."

your eyes swell a kind of surprise, almost stuttering when you finally speak, "you got my pen?"

you had quickly packed all your things, afraid you were gonna be late for the next class and you were so sure you got everything. it wasn't until you got back to the dorms that you noticed the stylo sketch pen yeosang got you for christmas was missing.

it didn't take long for it to be considered lost forever because there wasn't much hope of finding it even if you went back, but you didn't think it'd wind up in the hands of the boy you met that day.

"yeah, sorry if you came back looking for it. i had noticed you left it and thought it was rude if i didn't do anything. maybe that's why fate sent me here today," he says, snickering at the last comment, though at this point blaming it on fate doesn't seem so crazy.

"thank you," you tell him quietly, moved by the consideration but volume falling behind the progressing loud music though he can still make out your lips.

"no problem." he smiles.

and you don't know how it's possible but he looks even better than last time, the black attire and slicked back hair a contrast to the other day but when you speak to him, it all still feels the same... the slightly mischievous but easygoing personality turning away your initial worries and nervousness until you can't even remember why you had them.

the only thing left to weigh heavy is his usage of 'fate', the impression that you two meeting today was because of destiny and something already set in stone, but you might be overthinking.

"do you wanna go outside?" he asks, practically shouting at this point because the music has completely drowned out his voice.

he can tell you didn't hear him by how you confusingly squint your brows and unintentionally lean closer, to which he returns, whispering into your ear that shouldn't have sparked whatever it did.

you pull away to nod hesitantly and follow him out the backdoor, your throat clogged and body almost frozen if you weren't walking, glad he isn't looking because never in your life has a man smell that good before.

it's probably not the best idea to be away from your friends with someone you barely know, but you also don't have any reasons not to trust san... for now.

the spring air hugs your skin and you shiver slightly, only a thin cardigan to protect from the cold that makes san second guess coming out here.

"if it's too cold, we can go back inside. i just thought maybe you'd prefer somewhere where we could actually hear each other."

you shake your head but throw in a small smile to show you appreciate the consideration.

"it's okay. it is definitely way too loud inside there."

"yeah," he agrees, "and whoever's phone is connected to the bluetooth has a horrible taste in music." the now muffled audio a rock song you cannot make out the lyrics to even back at the house.

you laugh at the remark, the both of you staring into nothingness but yunho's backyard fences, yet it feels nice. safe. comfortable.

"i bet it's yeosang. he puts on the shittiest songs," you talk bad behind your friend's back, getting a giggle from san that makes it worth it.

"by the way, what did yeosang say your name was again?" he asks, turning to you with his full attention after realizing this whole time he doesn't even know your name.

"y/n," you tell him, locking eyes and ignoring the sensation in your stomach again from being this close and alone to someone who looks like that.

"y/n." you listen to him repeat your name under his breath. "you definitely look like a y/n."

the comment makes the corners of your lips turn, telling him he sounds so silly.

"it's san, right?" it's your turn to ask, sure you got it correct because yeosang's voice is loud, annoying, and hard to miss.

"yes," he confirms. "san choi, or choi san."

"choi san," you mumble, "it definitely has a beat to it."

and you're both laughing together the next, it doesn't feel real how easy being with him is. how, you were so hesitant about showing up and not being able to talk to anybody and now you're actually enjoying yourself, the state of your friends completely forgotten.

you don't usually wanna know many people but you wanna know more about san, every expressions he makes and any words he says paid attention and listened to carefully, you hope you won't scare him off just yet.

the conversation taking place after feels never-ending from him telling you about the transfer process to sharing majors and learning he specializes in math, you don't even realize you've both been standing in the cold for a while until a voice calls out to you.

"y/n!"

you look over your shoulder to find grace standing there, only half her body out the door and moving her eyes from you to san, the slight surprise when she sees you're with someone.

"there you are," she says. "i thought you had left without telling us."

you're now fully facing her with san following, watching from the side as you two carry on.

"what happened?" you ask.

she sighs before telling you it's yeosang, not to anyone's surprise.

"he's stupid drunk already and picking fights," she adds, getting second embarrassment again just thinking about how mad her boyfriend had got when he found out wooyoung had gotten yunho the same gift.

it wasn't anyone's fault; yeosang just loses half his braincells when he's under the influence.

you shake your head unamused and swipe san a glare, apologizing and telling him you have to go.

"wait," san stops you before you could completely leave him standing alone in the cold. "your pen. can i still give it back to you?"

you're standing there almost starstrucked-like and nodding your head, stuttering at the fact he wants to see you again.

"y-yes."

"perfect." he smiles. "how about the cafe again? we're both familiar with the place."

"that'll work," you say. "this monday?"

"this monday."

"cool. i'll see you then, san."

"what? no way!" grace yells, after you finish telling her about san and how crazy the coincidence is.

"yeah... i didn't really think i'd see him again," you say softly while settling down on the edge of your bed with grace across in hers, your heart doing a turn just thinking about the exchange between you and san again.

"you're blushing," grace snaps you out, meeting her gaze and batting your lashes.

"what? i'm not," you deny, adjusting yourself in the seat like that's gonna make her less suspicious.

"no. you are." she giggles. "you like him."

the bold statement makes your eyes go wide, shaking your head and denying the accusation on the spot because you can't possibly like someone you just met.

"i don't even know the guy," you tell her, trying to convince her as much as you are to yourself, hoping she won't catch how tense you're sounding at just the mere topic of this guy.

"so?" she shrugs, leaning back with her hands to the sheet. "you can't know a person within one night. finding out about the person is all part of the journey to eventually, a relationship."

you just learned the guy's name and now she's already bringing up the possibility of a relationship.

"believe me, y/n." she sits back up, intensely locking eyes with you and voice stern as if schooling a child. "the almost 3 years i've known you, i've never seen you look at anyone like that."

"you're being dramatic," you say, but the girl is still persistent, repeating herself and assuring you san is special.

"you're meeting him monday, right?"

"yes." you nod, a part of you still nervous but also excited to be seeing him again.

"tell me how it goes!"

when monday rolls around, you don't wanna think grace is right, but from how your heart is pitter pattering in your chest and you even glanced an extra time at the mirror before coming, you're afraid she just might be.

you don't have class till noon, and though he didn't specify the time, you just assumed it was around the same as last time, making yourself comfortable and occupied by scrolling through your social feeds.

the opening of the cafe door is missed and you don't fully comprehend he's here until a small 'hi' pulls you from the screen, looking up as he smiles down at you and you're reminded of why it's so hard to look away from this man.

"hey," you greet as calm as your nerves allows you to.

he takes the seat across and settles his backpack the same as he did before, the smile on him never having left his face the entire time.

"no drinks or what?" he says, the slightly teasing tone lightening up the atmosphere.

"i wanted to wait till you get here," you tell him. "i thought it would be rude if i ordered ahead of time."

he chuckles and shakes his head.

"no worries. i would've understand, but i appreciate the consideration." there's a split second of silence before he continues, "tell me what you want, i can go order."

you hum and think as if you don't get the same thing everytime; san jumping in when you can't seem to make a choice.

"strawberry peach, right?" he asks, an eyebrow raised.

"strawberry peach," you confirm, reaching for your bag to give him the change. "here's--"

but he kindly interrupts you, waving it off and assuring he got it

"are you sure?" you ask, a kind of worry in your voice because you feel slightly bad he has to pay for your $3 drink.

"of course. i'll be back."

and he goes off with a smile; you catching the dimple poking out of his cheek before he left and you think it just might be your favorite thing about him... not that you're keeping track of others.

you thank him quietly when he returns, mind suddenly empty when it comes to topic although you two were just talking a few days ago like you were never gonna run out of things to talk about--then you remember.

"right... so my pen," you bring up, hoping it's not too straightforward but you really wanted to say something.

his face lights up, the realization hitting him as well.

"oh, right right. give me a sec," he says, pulling his backpack and digging through it before pulling out the sketch pen yeosang got you almost two christmas ago. "your pen."

he hands it to you and you accept it with the sincerest 'thank you' you could let out, playing with it in your hand because you did think the old thing was lost for good.

"don't forget it this time," he teases; your head picking up to let out a snicker.

"i won't."

he nods, staring at the pen you've still yet to put away and thinking back to what you were doing the last time you were here.

"you're an artist?" he asks, the question casting your eyes with a twinge of shyness at such wording.

you've never considered yourself an artist. if you did, you think it'd be an insult to actual artists.

"i draw and major in arts but i'm not an artist," you tell him with a shake of your head and a dry snicker this time.

"then you're an artist," he says, shrugging with the most nonchalant expression painting him.

you chuckle, continuing to deny such bold claim.

"just because someone cooks that also doesn't make them a chef."

"that's fair," he agrees, thinking the logic makes total sense. "but i'm sure your arts are amazing."

here's to sitting with probably the cutest guy you've ever met, and he's telling you you're amazing at the one thing you're passionate about and you're not sure how to feel about that.

"you haven't even seen my work," you say, the mischievous tone in this back and forth feeling more like a banter at this point.

"no. but i saw a glimpse," he defends, really set on the fact he thinks you are totally good at what you do even if you are correct about him not having seen the whole thing, "and i'm sure the actual work is amazing."

you reframe from rolling your eyes and bite at your lips instead so the smile doesn't slip, moving the discussion along because you're more interested about him than your unsatisfactory artist journey.

"so what do you do with you know... math?" you ask, trying to not sound ignorant on the topic but that's exactly how it came off.

thankfully, he finds it cute and laughs it off.

"i went into it because the people around me said i was good at it," he says, a bit unfazed and dull. "that's pretty much it, i guess." and ending it with a smile when he catches your gaze again.

"but do you enjoy it?"

there's a quick silence and san tilts his head slightly, quirking his lips to the side before answering.

"it's not bad. if anything, it's been easy, so i'm glad for that at least."

you nod, smiling in return.

"that's good. only one more year and we'll be done."

"yeah," he says, letting out a loose chuckle after. "i can't wait. there's something i want to do after, but for now, we'll have to see what happens."

and you wanna ask him more about it; what is it that he wants to do after and just more about him in general, but you have taken notice of the clock sitting behind him and the fact you only have 20 minutes to get to campus.

you kindly thank him again for returning the pen as well as the drink, and in the midst of all turmoil and conflicted feelings because you don't know how to ask if you're gonna see him again, he's the one who fortunately suggests you guys exchange numbers.

you leave the shop with one last wave to him and his handsome smile ingrained in your head for the rest of the day.

but you're still not sure you like him just yet. not until summer.

after almost six hours, a few rest stops, and long stretches of desert roads, the heat of the much southern california is felt along with the sight of palm trees spread out everywhere.

"we've arrived, ladies," yeosang announces, finally parked into the hotel's parking lot after missing at least two turns before he found the place.

as soon as you step out, the summer air is annoying and you wish you hadn't wore long sleeves. but you like summer because it always marked the end of a semester and then the beginning of a new one--the fact you're so close to almost graduating.

you were planning to not do anything all summer, just eager for some rest and break away from the stress that came with school and your part-time job, but yeosang was quick to scrap all plans and make some of his own.

said his friends were gonna go down south and out of town for a whole week and invited him, and he wanted you and grace to come along since it would be the last summer break you all would share before graduating.

you told him you would come as long as he would be driving and he didn't have any problems. he thinks you and grace are terrible drivers though you would say otherwise.

"and who are these friends of yours again?" you ask, taking your luggage out of the trunk and staring up into the hotel you guys would be staying at, amazed at the amount of floors the building holds.

"you know," yeosang replies, shutting the trunk after he's made sure nothing's left behind, "yunho, wooyoung, and some others at the party."

you hum at the vagueness of the answer, following both your friends to the hotel's lobby that has a mix of modernness but also slight tropical and beach vibes, the color scheme a combination of white, woodsy brown, and green.

after being given your room keys, you don't wanna do anything but lay down and rest for a bit though yeosang should be more tired than you, he still has enough energy to roam the rest of the hotel when grace asked.

your room is a single queen bed and has almost the perfect view to beach if not for the huge palm tree that happens to sit in front.

yeosang and grace had initially wanted just one room together to save on cost but you didn't wanna be that person, and especially the third wheel to everything, so you cut your losses.

it's gonna be hefty on your wallet but it's only for a week, and plus, you get your own privacy and space away from the eyes of your friends.

the late preparations and long drive left almost no free time, so instead, the night is spent on the rooftop restaurant of the hotel where grace wanted to eat at, and after finishing your meal, you excuse yourself to go shower and sleep first because you want to wake up early for breakfast.

--

you wind up in the dining room alone at 7:30 in the morning because both your friends moaned and groaned about it being too early.

your breakfast consists of two pancakes, scrambled eggs, a banana, and a cup of coffee; choosing to settle on a table in the far corner.

you watch the many guests go in and out of the dining room, also keeping yourself occupied with your phone while eating hoping to finish fast enough so you'll be able to go back upstairs to do your makeups and pick out an outfit since your friends want to go sightseeing later.

and you were doing pretty good keeping your eyes to the entrance of the dining room, but you must've missed their arrival, because as you go to shove a piece of pancake down your throat, the slight tap on your shoulder makes your head turn.

"san..." you say his name so naturally, it just instinctly rolling off your tongue.

you haven't seen him in a while, but now he's standing in front of you although you're almost 6 hours away from home.

"hey, y/n," he greets, the smile you also haven't seen in a while making all of that strange sensation come back as he takes the seat across from you.

"hey," you say, your shock now morphing into actual joy at the fact he's here. "what are you doing here?"

"wooyoung invited me," he answers, nodding off in a direction that your eyes shoot to, seeing wooyoung, yunho, and a couple others from the party just as yeosang said, huddled around an area of the room you can't believe you missed.

"oh," you mumble, as if all of this should've been expected and it's no surprise san is here too.

"and where are your friends? what are they doing to be leaving you alone like this?" his voice a mix of teasing but also concern, it's hard to tell which one is louder.

but you laugh, telling him your friends stayed up way too late last night and didn't wanna get up this early.

"i see." he nods. "well, good thing i found you." he smiles again, every single time making your heart strangely tight.

you didn't see san much after the cafe meeting, or at all. the both of you busy with either school, work, or other responsibilities, most of the interactions were limited to texting, and even then, it was hardly a daily occurence.

though you guys did exchange instagrams and he poked fun of you because your profile picture was a digital painting you did of yourself and you had 3 posts only--all of them also of art works, he at least complimented you.

said you have an amazing gift and all that even if you're still trying to believe it yourself, you appreciate the kindness.

"yeah," you say. "kind of crazy we were going on the same trip and didn't even know it."

the realization makes the both of you giggle in sync, the conversation and atmosphere so easy flowing, it's hard to believe you haven't talked to him face to face for a few months now.

"but again, we were kind of occupied with our own thing and all that," he tries reasoning. "but i'm glad you're here. it will be fun, you know. wooyoung they're all a little loud but i'm sure you got a friend to match the energy."

you nod, a smile on your lips almost the whole time and your food going cold because san just said he's glad you're here.

"oh for sure. we will fit just right in with yeosang."

it was a night where you and san texted for much longer than usual when he told you how him and wooyoung became friends. the boy younger than him by a few months but so much more extroverted and chaotic in every other way.

nonetheless, he said wooyoung is a great friend to have and he's grateful for the wonderful people he's met through him.

you were mostly focus on the initial surprise and shock of seeing san here, you didn't even realize he's sat down with you the entire time before he's even got anything to eat.

"you should probably go grab something," you tell him, your tone sweet and concern even if you've yet to really become close to this man.

he briefly checks over his shoulder to find his friends still occupied and not seated, shaking his head.

"i'll wait for them. besides, if i go, i'm afraid you're gonna try to run away."

you can't help the squint that takes over one of your eyebrows, the line between teasing, being friendly, and flirting blurring into one and you feel you're giving yourself too much credits for even thinking of the possibility of the last one.

but before you can say anything, a rather familiar and nice-sounding voice beats you to it.

"hey, y/n!"

it's yunho, face and body language as kind and welcoming as ever, and with his girlfriend wrapped around his arm who you've also learned from san, prefers her korean name, jiwon, over her american given one.

"hey!" you try to be enthusiatic as much as you allowed yourself to without the help of yeosang. this is usually his field of expertise.

they ask about your friends whereabouts the same as san, and you give the same response as they hum and nod in understanding.

"well it's perfect we ran into you here then," yunho beams. "we're thinking of hitting the pool this evening, you guys care to join?"

you're probably the worst person to ask out of your group, swimming not really being your thing and all, but you give yunho your words that you'll ask yeosang and grace first, guaranteeing the fact the two are gonna say yes.

they eventually excuse themselves and bid you goodbye, the process catching some of the other guys attention as they take notice to you and give out small waves before disppearing to get breakfast.

"awesome. i guess i'll see you then."

san snaps you back, meeting his gaze and throwing a smile that could melt you on the spot.

"we'll see," you mumble.

"i should probably leave you to finish your food then. you leaving soon?" he looks down at your plate and you follow, feeling almost embarrassed at the mess that you've only half ate.

"yeah. i think i'm good for breakfast." you chuckle lightly.

he pretends to pout, quirking one side of his lips.

"aww i'm sorry for distracting you. yeah i really should get going."

"oh no you're good. i'll just be on my way."

"alright. i'll see you later?"

"yeah, i'll see you later."

and with that, after watching him walk away as he bids one last farewell, you clear your table and head back upstairs; the encounter heavy on your mind as you start rummaging your luggage for an outfit.

"no no. you don't understand. you need the perfect swimsuit!"

grace's voice ring throughout the tiny store at the beachfront and you're regretting telling her san's gonna be there at all. because now, she's dead set on impressing san and making sure you wow him tonight.

currently, she's trying to convince you to give in to a black two piece that has the bottom hiked so high up your waist with barely any coverage for the buttocks, you think your father would disown you if he sees you in it.

yeosang distracts himself by the glass and hat sections, leaving you girls to talk amongst yourselves, though he doesn't shy away from passing snide remarks because he knows you even better than grace and that you're shopping way out of your comfort zone.

"girl, i'm looking for clothes to swim in, not to seduce him," you say annoyingly when she won't give up.

"you don't know that!" she squeaks, giving the two piece another once over. "you're gonna look totally hot in it!"

"then buy it for yourself." you cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at her. "i'm not wearing that in front of like what? 8 or something guys."

she frowns before dropping a loud, "fine!" placing the piece back on its rack and turning to you to mimick your posture. "you are such a pick me."

the comment makes you scoff, rolling your eyes at your best friend's antics.

"excuse you. just because i'm a lot more reserved and hesitant doesn't mean i want to be different or whatever society wants to paint us more shy girlies."

"yeah yeah," she brushes you off, waving in the air. the topic one you two already had one too many times. "but i won't need it for myself because i already brought a cute swimsuit from home."

"well that's great. then maybe we can just head back to the hotel," you say, delivery a type of sarcastic to play along but she clearly isnt very amused, pouting and scoffing at you the entire walk back.

"i don't wanna be the only one in a swimsuit!" she yells at you in the comfort of your hotel room, having came down a few minutes ago because she wanted to know what you're gonna wear.

but you dismiss and excuse her complaints with a roll of your eyes. "you'll be fine, grace. and even if, more power and attention to you."

little did you know you'd end up being the odd one out, finally showing up to the pool with your friends and seeing everyone in appropriate attire while you're out with a pair of gym shorts and a black t-shirt, having told your friends you're probably not gonna swim.

"hey guys!"

the voice just now belonging to hongjoong, who you recognize and remember the few occasions you happened to see him with yeosang. he's a year older and already graduated but is definitely the backbone of the group, yeosang said.

everyone already there greets all three of you, friendly smiles and welcoming body languages, the amount of people is quite overwhelming but you try your best to hide it, returning the gestures with a smile of your own.

some's sprawled on the lounge chairs, some already in the pool, and some sitting idly in the hot tub.

but you don't see him anywhere.

you didn't come for him in particular (if you did, you would've bought the two piece your friend so hard tried pushing). you came for your friends and the kindness of his other friend group, but your eyes do naturally search for him and you notice his absence immediately.

but you don't wanna ask. it just doesn't feel right to.

"well don't just stand there! get your butts in the pool!" wooyoung splashes the three of you as you flinch and instinctly try to protect the sketchbook you broughtly along in case your friends get pulled away by their extroverted activities and you don't have anything better to do.

"jung wooyoung! i'm gonna get you for that!" yeosang shouts, the boy's teasing doing exactly what he wanted as your friend jumps in the pool and chases after a giggly wooyoung.

grace chuckles beside you, pulling you by the wrist. "come on, let's go." but you're quick to stop and tell her you're gonna sit for a bit first.

she sighs but lets it go, threatening to get you wet and soak the sketchbook if you don't get in after a while.

you watch your friends and even if you're not the one having all the fun, the fact they look like they are makes you happy enough, shaking your head and giggling when you see grace and yeosang attempt to do a breath-holding contest or tries submerging the other's head into the water.

you made sure to choose the chair furthest from the pool because you don't want yeosang pulling anything funny.

a couple doodles and swimming competition between wooyoung and yeosang for the 4th time, the sudden voice in your ear makes the hair on your skin raise, flinching slightly to turn and meet his gaze.

he goes from expressionless to a smile that you almost want to poke his dimples for having the guts to show up this close.

and when he pulls away, asking what you're doing, you barely register his words because you're too busy trying to not drool over this man being shirtless and looking like the best art you've ever seen, making anything you've ever created pale in comparison.

but fortunately (or unfortunately), you don't get to dissect him for too long because you're more curious who the lady standing beside him is and why you haven't seen her before.

she's in a ruffle yellow swimsuit with sunglasses and a sunhat that goes perfectly with whatever aesthetic she was going for. and you think she looks like what grace probably had in vision for you when she wanted you to wow san.

"san! ashley! get over here!" you all snap to the call of hongjoong as he waves in the air from the pool, the water stopping at his armpit.

ashley.

"you coming with us?" san asks, his tone welcoming and inviting, but you're gonna sit this one out.

"i'm good," you answer with a small smile, and he quirks his lips to the side at that, dropping his shoulders at the answer before nodding.

"alright," he says. "but you can always join us whenever. if not, i hope you'll have fun," he refers to the sketchbook in your hands and you feel it sinking deep into your chest, a bit embarrassed by the fact but he just laughs it off.

"i'll see you," he bids, making his way to the others and guiding the new girl (to you) by the small of her back.

and you really try to focus on the sketch, your inspirations drawn from people, places, and things around you. the current sunset absolutely beautiful in its orange hue, but you can't miss the laughters and fun san is sharing with the new girl, and you don't miss how the more you're with this man, the more a type of longing blossoms.

how, everytime he's in sight, your eyes just naturally follows him. settles on him. like you just wanna look at him all day.

you shake the thoughts off, which becomes quite easy once yeosang and grace along with a couple others decides they're done for good, and seonghwa, the oldest of you all, suggests to end the night by sharing dinner together.

it's on him and hongjoong, he said.

the rooftop restaurant feels different this time in the company of others. you stick close to your friends and observe everyone else like a lost little puppy when you have nothing better to do.

it's loud and chaotic and you're struggling to keep up with everyone and everything, but you manage to catch the smile of san when grace starts going off about something embarrassing you did in freshmen year as revenge for not getting in the pool.

you shout and defend your name and dignity but it doesn't help much with yeosang jumping in, leading to a long night of teasing and bullying from your friends in the face of everyone as they laugh at the 'endearing' friendships you guys share.

and by the end of the night, you almost forgot about san or the fact you guys barely interacted. not until you're fresh out the shower and recovering your social battery that you get the first text from him in a while.

san: it's true the story your friend told?

you can't even help the chuckle that escapes, catching yourself and going on to reply.

y/n: 😭 i hate grace lmfao

san: it's okay😅 we all just casually poop our pants in the middle of the night

y/n: 🙄

san: kidding 😁

san: hey. i was thinking if you'd like to get breakfast together tomorrow?

san: im sorry we didn't get to talk a lot today. you looked so uncomfortable during dinner 😅

the comment flusters you, thinking about the fact san was watching and saw how out of place you really looked.

y/n: just not used to big crowds lol

san: i can see that

san: but it's okay. it'll just be us tmr 🙂

y/n: won't your friends be there?

san: nope. they dont like the food lol

san: how about urs? will they be coming?

y/n: most likely not. those two don't wake until almost noon

san: perfect lol. i'll see you then?

y/n: maybee 😀

and he probably didn't push too hard because it's almost like he knew you're gonna be there; waking up before it's even 7 and sitting at the same table from before, watching guests go in and out of the room hoping to catch the boy that sent you the text last night.

his face lights up the same as you when he enters, waving in the air and heading your direction, you really shouldn't feel so nervous but excited at the sight of him walking.

"hey!" he greets cheerfully, sliding into the seat across with a smile.

"good morning," you return, hands curled in your lap and happy he can't see them because you wonder what he'd think.

"how you'd sleep?" he ask the same time he combs over his morning hair, never in your life has someone looked so good doing so, you didn't even think it was possible.

"good," you manage to answer with composure. "and you?"

"alright." he shrugs. "wooyoung was just mostly drunk and annoying from last night's dinner."

a small giggle also laced with empathy escapes from you. "well i'm sorry to hear. i hope today will be better."

he nods. "hopefully." then realizing you haven't even gotten your food, talking in a concerned tone, "don't tell me you were waiting for me."

"i was," you say. "don't worry about it. i'm not that hungry. the dinner last night kept me filled plenty."

"if you say so..." he lingers a bit before continuing, "should we go now?"

"sure."

you also get close to the same thing you got last time, with the exception that they've switched out pancakes for waffles, getting a question from san after sitting down about your food choices.

"well, i really only eat korean foods," you tell him. "i'm not too fond of anything else besides what's on my plate right now."

"ahh. so you're a picky eater?"

"somewhat. that's why yeosang hates going out to eat with me."

san lets out a quiet snicker, something more mischievous bubbling in his eyes that you don't read into.

"you talk about yeosang a lot... does yours and his relationship ever bothers your other friend?" he asks, the question stopping you from sipping your coffee.

the friendly and harmless tone still in the air but you can't hide the fact the question flusters you a little.

"well, me and yeosang have known each other for a while... even before grace, so she understands that we don't see each other like that at all."

san quirks his lips and nods, taking your words for it.

"why?" you speak again. "do we give out that kind of vibe?" you ask worriedly, because you would never want to unintentionally (or intentionally) hurt grace in any ways. on your life you have never seen yeosang for more than the annoying middle schooler you couldn't get rid of.

but as san shakes his head, you feel a sense of relief, watching as a light smirk creep up on his face.

"just wondering," he says, so calmly but eerie at the same time, you can't quite grasp the intention. but then something else comes over, and you forget all about deciphering san's answer; not really wanting to but letting the intrusive thoughts win.

"and that girl you were with yesterday? you guys together?" you ask, no menance in your voice; just a natural curioisity because you wanna know... not for any reasons deeper.

"she's a friend," he answers fast and casual. "i know her from my previous school because we were under the same program and have similar interests and whatnot."

"i see," you mumble, a light smile anyone would've missed because you don't wanna admit to anyone why the fact brings you a sense of comfort.

but it doesn't cut it with grace.

"that's what they always say!" she cries dramatically, after storming into your room when she was finally done sleeping past noon and the events of yesterday hit her.

but you don't have any reasons to doubt san, even if you love your best friend and wanna take her words for it, you don't think it's fair to assume someone you barely know is trying to take your man that isn't really your man.

"for all you know, they could be fucking behind doors."

"grace!" you yell your friend's name at such accusation, your ears turning red at even the thought of it.

"sorry," she mutters, but barely meaning it, only shrugging off what needed to be said.

"i just don't want you to be hurt in the end," she says, voice a kind of sympathy you didn't even know you need.

because yes, you think san is handsome. he is kind and unusually attentive to you for whatever reasons, and seeing someone else by his side made your stomach queasy all for the wrong reasons... but you don't feel justified in feeling a certain way just because your friend says you should.

you're not with him and you still don't even know if you wanna be with him.

“trust me, grace,” you assure her, a confident smile settling on your lips that she only frowns to. “i’ll be fine.”

and as much as she wants to believe it, it’s hard not to doubt knowing the way you are.

how, though you’ve navigated through life barely getting romantically involved with boys, it wouldn’t be difficult for someone like san to get you wrapped around his fingers if he wants to.

the guy way too charming; how he just casually checks all criteria from looks to personality, the girl herself rooting for you and him initially, but quickly rethinking the choice after last night.

yet, you don't let what your friend says get to you. or at least you try not to, but it's loud and it bothers you through the day... if someone as likeable as san would be able to hurt you.

if he could lie and deceive you and not even feel bad about it.

but when he pops by your side at night; yours and his friend group having the want to go clubbing, and he stays with you almost entirely, neglecting the girl grace said you should be worried about, you can't even remember why you doubted him in the first place.

not when he'd ask questions about you all night long as if he really wants to know you, so interested in the arts and work you do and accompanying you when everyone else is busy enjoying themselves.

and especially when he'd get breakfast with you every morning until the trip is over, a part of you glad but another saddened by the fact because you know you won't get to see him everyday anymore.

you'll have to go back to the old routine of working and assignments, no more butterflies or feelings of tightness in your chest and stomach, uncertain when you're gonna even get to see or talk to him again.

but one thing you know for sure, is that by the end of summer, you're positive you like choi san.

you're positive you like san, because every time your phone rings with a notification, you can't help but wish it's him--replying to a meme you've sent a few hours ago, or asking how your day has been.

that when grace commented on how your art style has changed, as if they've been pulled and inspired by someone or something, she wasn't just trying to tease you.

grace also being the same person to explain the feelings in your chest and stomach, and why your breath is taken away each time whenever you see him.

even if she was skeptical a few months ago and yelling in your face he's gonna hurt you, seeing the way he is around you has calmed her mind to some extent.

the way he actually treats you with interests and and respect, listening and nodding when you talk and asking you about everything, managing to convince your friend somewhat he might take a liking to you and that you won't come out of this wounded.

he's even become closer with yeosang; the craziness of just how different but also alike these two are, able to carry a conversation on for hours and making grace and you feel forgotten.

"so you guys are coming, right?" san asks the three of you in a corner of the library, quick to associate the spot with you and your friends after asking about your whereabouts one day.

"uh--"

"of course!" yeosang beats you to it, both you and grace narrowing your eyes at the boy in the middle. "we wouldn't wanna miss it."

grace sneers and throws yeosang another look.

"right, because the other two parties where you made a clown show of yourself wasn't enough." she shakes her head and lowers it back to her notebook, mumbling under her breath, "i'm not babysitting."

yeosang pouts immediately, putting on an act and a voice to go with it that makes you wanna throw a punch his way.

"babe, please..."

"no."

"it'd be the last college party before we graduate."

"no."

then he turns to you and hopes you'll take pity.

"y/n?"

you fume under your nose and follow grace as you start scribbling so he gets the hint, because you also don't wanna go to this party. even if wooyoung's the one throwing it and you're all gonna be graduating soon.

you'd rather just end your college career in peace.

"san's going so you're already automatically going anyway," yeosang says, losing his patience and throwing you under the bus to be petty, receiving a kick to his ankle from under the table in return.

"you really should think about coming," san brings it up one more time on the walk to your next class, after leaving the lovebirds in the library to talk it out between them.

you come to a stop when you've both reached the building, standing before him with your textbook curled in your arms and quirking your lips to the side.

"i'll think about it, but if grace don't wanna come, yeosang probably won't."

"why not come by yourself?" he suggests, like it's the easiest thing in the world. but he knows you well at this point, adding, "i know it's probably scary going without your friends, but trust me, you won't be alone. i'll be there so you won't ever have to worry about it." he smiles.

and his words. his body language. his smile. they all come off so sincere and genuine, you just wanna believe him and everything he says.

that he won't ever hurt you. make you feel inadequate and question everything about yourself, because liking someone isn't supposed to feel painful and it isn't supposed to make your heart ache.

but when you show up to the party without your friends, the people you recognize doesn't do anything to ease your anxiety, especially when the number pales in comparison to people you don't recognize.

and by now, you're more than sure you like san because despite his efforts to make you feel welcomed and comfortable amongst the sea of strangers he knows scares you, it doesn't matter when the girl beside him makes you feel uneasy all night.

when butterflies and a beating heart are replaced by the wish to run, liking someone is no longer fun.

"what! you are such a liar!" ashley squeaks with a giggle, pushing san's shoulder lightly in a friendly banter. the kind that makes you feel like you're intruding and disrupting something confidential by following san all night like a lost puppy.

"no! i'm forreal," san defends himself from the girl's teasing, his cheeks flushing pink even in the bad kitchen lighting.

"you were messing with her!"

he chuckles and you're wondering why you're still even here--or how the conversation of san and another girl not you or ashley even started.

"i promise, we were just friends," he says.

ashley shakes her head, smirking the same time she drinks from the cup in her hand, and when she looks san in the eye, she isn't just the girl san's friend with anymore.

because if grace were to yell in your face again about this girl and all the reasons you should be worried, you would agree with her.

even if you still don't feel justified... you like san now, and you can't help but think she's a threat.

"cute, isn't he?" she turns to you, her gaze burning and making you feel small on the spot. her confidence something she walks with proudly and with an aura you hate yourself for even admiring, "but unfortunately a hard one to tie down."

her words and tone cryptic, you can only blink as you try to digest what she said just now and if it was meant to be a dig at you.

you clear your throat, not feeling any bigger with the volume but excusing yourself either way to use the restroom.

just sit in there and think of any excuses in order to get out of here, regretting not staying with yeosang and grace to watch alice in borderland for the 5th time while eating wingstop.

because if you did, you wouldn't be feeling this way. out of place and with the boy you like slipping right by the palm of your hand.

your phone buzzing in your lap takes the moment away, looking down to see the one person you wanna hear from, even if he's also responsible for the doubts in your head.

san: hey. you good?

san: im outside the bathroom. i don't wanna knock though bc im scared it might not be you in there lol

you don't respond, instead going to open the door even if you should be contemplating about a valid reason to go home, chest and face nearly knocking into him, you can only gulp.

"hey." he smiles.

"hey," you mumble, wondering if he can even hear especially with the amount of bodies littering the hallway, but he does judging by the reaction.

"you okay?" he asks, voice concerned the way it always is.

"yeah..." you answer, your stance so awkward. "just needed some space." you try laughing it off, to which he returns one much to your relief.

"i see. well, should we go somewhere quieter? with less people?"

"actually..." your volume simmers, afraid he's gonna take it the wrong way. "i was thinking of going home."

he stares at you a second too long before responding with a simple "oh." the wheels going off in his head until an idea comes over. "that's fine. i can take you home."

"no, you're good. yeosang said he'd pick me up when i'm ready."

"no, let me. i want to. plus, i invited you so it's only fair."

and you weren't gonna argue with him; not when he was already pulling out his keys and telling you to follow him out the house and into his car.

"aren't you a little drunk?" you tease, after watching him pull at the seatbelt.

"a little." he smirks, turning to you. "but i'm good for the most part. i didn't drink that much."

right. because he was mostly engaged and immersed in conversations and banters that you weren't a part of, with the girl you're still wondering what happened to.

"where did your friend go?" you ask, as casually as possible.

"ashley? she got pulled away by some pool table game wooyoung they wanted to play."

you just nod, though the many unanswered questions about this friend bothers you, moving to look ahead and admire the size of wooyoung's house the same time san starts the engine. and that's when you realize, this might be the first time you and san are actually alone.

without hotel guests, nosy friends, partygoers, or people that frequents the cafe, but more importantly--without being behind the screens of your phones.

"the university's dorms, correct?"

"correct."

as he drives you back to the place, he can't stop asking questions.

"how'd you like it there?"

"pretty good. i have all i need, and the best part is i get to room with grace, so."

he sends a small smile your way in midst of driving, and you think he looks so attractive doing so. his hands on the wheel and his relaxed stance as he listens attentively like the boyfriend you never had.

"that's great," he says, coming to a stop at a red light, looking your way immediately. "that's a nice outfit by the way. i can't believe i didn't tell you earlier."

and you really wanna blush and grow shy at the fact he pays you this much attention, but you really just giggle instead.

"well thanks. you look pretty great yourself."

he steps on the gas at the green and scoffs but the corner of his lips pulling into a small smile.

"you're just saying that to say it."

you wanna tell him he don't even know how much you mean it. how unbelievable it is-- the fact he just walks around looking like that all the time.

but you chuckle it off and you're sure he's just playing with you, the drive weaving through the fall weather and city lights as an air of fresh and relief come over, you can't believe you were so apprehensive not even 40 minutes ago back at wooyoung's party.

"here we are," he says, pulling into the dorm's parking lot you had to help him find.

"thanks," you tell him. "i appreciate it."

"no problem," he replies, a silence lingering after and an expression on his face that something's clearly bothering him. "hey..."

"yeah?"

"i'm sorry about tonight... if anything made you uncomfortable."

you only smile, though the reminder makes your heart heavy with today's events, you're happy he noticed and care.

it seems to just be how he is; eyes and ears always attentive and sometimes a little too curious.

"it's okay," you assure. because even if you are upset, it doesn't feel like you have the rights to. as if you're just making all of this up in your head to ruin the night. "i think it was mostly because yeosang and grace wasn't there," you lie.

"i understand. would've been a lot better if they had made it."

"yeah, but it's okay. you going back after dropping me off?"

he nods. "i have to, unfortunately. wooyoung would want me to."

you hum lowly in acknowledgment, your legs closed together and your throat tight all of a sudden.

"well i hope you'll have fun the rest of the night. i'm sorry i couldn't stay longer."

"i'll try to," he says, a quiet giggle leaving. "won't be the same without you but probably should've picked a better place, you know."

"it's all good," you say with a smile, head whipping around to the darkly lit dorm building and its entrance. "i should probably get going."

"should i walk with you?"

you look at him while unbuckling your seatbelt, shaking your head. "i got it. i'd rather you get back to your friends."

he opens his mouth to say something but quickly takes it back, trying again.

"hey," he says so softly, you can almost melt into the look in his eyes, staring at you with blinking lashes.

"yeah?"

"so i thought this was really nice, you know... the car ride and all." he stops for a second to find his words. "i was wondering if you'd like to do it again? i think the cafe's nice, but this is a good change of scenery."

and you wonder if san can hear the beating of your heart especially in the quiet of his car, but you quickly pick yourself up to answer, "i'd love to do this again." you smile, and san returns one.

"perfect. i'll text you."

"i look forward."

which is why even if you didn't have the greatest of time; most of the night spent in self-doubts and regrets, you also don't beat yourself up for what he could be doing after he dropped you off.

what he's doing at the party or who he's having fun with, because afterall, he asked you out.

said it with a sweet look in his eyes and a tone to match, you'd rather look forward to what went right than what didn't; sleeping under your sheet in the dark of the night, sacrificing any uncertainty for restful sleep.

"these fries are way too salty."

you listen to san complains, his posture relaxed but face scowling at the fast food he just shoved down his throat a few seconds ago.

a laugh bubbles out of you and you shake your head, munching on the fries you protested on getting, but san way too stubborn to convince otherwise.

"you're right. maybe we should've gotten burgers," he says, looking at you and placing the food back in the bag. "never again."

"maybe," you mutter with a quiet giggle.

san had texted you exactly two days after the party, the reminder cracking the biggest smile on your face that grace took notice to and immediately wanted to know the cause of.

"it's totally a date!" your friend says, squealing after you tell her of why you wanna blush just now.

"it's not a date."

she sighs and rolls her eyes, prying your phone right from your hand that gets you up from the bed to fight her.

"he even put a smiling emoji. what else would that mean!?" she continues squeaking and dodging your attempts, until you manage to snatch it back.

"i think he's just being nice."

he picked you up, asked for suggestions on what to eat (and didn't listen), and paid for everything before pulling into the parking lot of a store opened 24 hours.

"so..." he starts speaking, hands cleared of salt from the fries and now looking at you through his car's lighting. "excited to graduate soon?"

you nod. "of course. and you?"

"for sure," he answers, attention pulled away to the front merely before meeting your eyes again. "any plans yet?"

"not much luck. kind of figure i'll think about that after," you answer with a dry chuckle. your bleak future not something to laugh about, but it's a way of coping. "you?"

and you asked out of pure curiosity and interest, but at the way his face falls, you would've thought you insulted him. watching his eyes go dark and almost nervous, the atmosphere shifting when he just sits in silence for too long.

"sorry," you mumble apologetically, bringing light to his eyes once more when he just shakes his head.

"no, you're good. i'm sorry. i was just thinking."

"it's okay," you assure, "if it's still something you're thinking of."

"yeah." he smiles, the act almost forced, but you try to not linger on the thought. why he tends to shut down when you ask too many questions and want to know too much... the same he does to you.

"hey," he attempts to revive the atmosphere he was responsible for killing. "can i ask you something?"

you tilt your head slightly at that, placing the empty bag of fries back where it came from and nodding in response.

"we talked about this briefly, but i really wanna know how you felt about the party. you didn't look like you enjoyed it at all." and it wasn't because yeosang nor grace were there.

you swallow, unprepared for the topic to make it back around, but answering with honesty to the best of your ability; just slightly leaving out what really shattered your confidence that night.

"it's just hard for me in general to really enjoy myself in that kind of setting." though you tried and was having some fun, until you weren't.

"i understand, and i appreciate you for trying. i just still feel bad for pulling you along when it was clearly out of your comfort zone, so i have to make sure."

it's the way he speaks and acts, always asking about you and caring about your wellbeing more than he should--that makes it hard to want to be upset when he doesn't want you to do the same in return.

when he closes himself off, always with the invisible barrier you shouldn't cross because he doesn't wanna tell you more than what you should know.

"it's just more so i also didn't really know anyone there. everyone else were occupied, and you were uh... talking to your friend," you say, mumbling the last part because you think you might be pushing it, but san doesn't seem fazed. he just shifts in his spot.

"yeah," he answers coolly, "hard to get her to stop talking once she starts." a light smile curls up at his lips and you try to not let it bother you.

but it's like he can read your thoughts; knows exactly the concerns running through your head and the apprehension overtaking your face when he spits the next sentence, "there's nothing going on between us, if that's what you're wondering. when i said she's a friend, i mean it."

and you don't know whether to be relieved or embarrassed he knows you a little too well.

"though she did like me at one point, that's the past," he adds, searching you for any signs of a reaction, and he gets one he also knows too well.

when your lips goes into a pout and your eyes swell with a type of curioisity in them, eager to poke your nose where it doesn't belong.

"and did you... like her back?" you ask timidly, knowing it isn't your ground but unable to help it.

san's snicker leaves you in confusion, and even more when he just shrugs.

"we're better off as friends. that's what matters."

the answer doesn't lessen the knot in your stomach nor does it bring you any form of relief, even if san doesn't particularly owe you any.

"what's with the face?" his voice snaps you out of your thought and to puppy eyes and blinking lashes staring right back almost mocking you as if he knows exactly what's making you so upset right now.

"nothing," you say, faking a smile. "just thinking."

but there's a shift in atmosphere again, whether you and san wanna acknowledge it or not. something tense that makes you a little on edge, but in a way different from before--the food and drinks and being parked in a public space forgotten at this point.

"have you ever been in a relationship before?" he asks abruptly, the question making you swallow the tension as you try your best to keep the composure.

"i've been in one," you answer, not disappointing him when you return the question, "how about you?"

he smirks, one eyebrow raising when he simply says, "two."

"two?" you repeat, voice raising like you don't believe it. "you look like you'd have a lot more experience."

the comment makes him laugh, his body falling and head thumping against the car seat while his gaze never leaves you.

"what makes you think that?" he says, the smirk once again creeping to his lips as he stares at you in amusement, the scene and tension having switched up so fast, you don't even remember when it ever felt like this in the presence of san.

when all friendliness and formality were gone and replaced by something else that makes you wanna be bolder and get closer to him.

you shrug lightly. "guess it's the way you carry yourself." that makes it so hard to believe.

"either way, if i'm gonna get into a relationship with someone, i have to know them well first and i'd have to be sure it's something i want."

you nod in agreement, though san never particularly striked you as the type to think so much about these kind of things... but again, you feel he's also just barely letting you into a certain part of him he haven't ever.

"that's fair. i would agree," you say, only to a chuckle from him that makes you squint in confusion. "what?"

both his hands are now behind his head and he's looking so entertained for whatever reason.

"you just seem more like the kind to go out of your way to avoid any romantic interactions," he says, giggling after with dimples you can't even admire because you're more flustered by the comment.

"it's more like... i find those things hard unless i'm attracted to someone," you clarify even if you know he's right to an extent, "and it's not often i am attracted to someone, so."

and how funny that when you finally are, he's sitting right across from you with a smirk and unaware of how he's making you feel just being in the same perimeter--or so you think.

"the first guy i was with, i always found intimacy difficult... especially kissing," you add, unsure if you're stepping over the line but you and san are old enough for this.

you're sure he even enjoys it, if the mirth in his eyes and the widest smile on his face says anything.

"maybe you didn't like him that much?" he suggests, tone thrilled like it's some form of fun guessing game. "or he was probably just a sloppy kisser."

"no, like... he was good but i was the one who couldn't kiss for shit," you defend your ex's name, feeling like you have to because he wasn't a bad guy.

"i see," he mumbles, the smirk settling into a soft smile. "at least it was enjoyable for you."

"yeah," you answer, the conversation getting so much more awkward for you. "how was your first kiss like?"

"it was okay." he was anticipating such response by how fast he replied. "it was both of our first time and i did it at the time because i really thought she was the one, but funny to think about it now."

there's a quick silence after as you just stare, the next question already at the tip of your tongue.

"and did you also thought the same for your second relationship?"

he nods to it, gaze now locking yours right back and the even longer silence makes you think he's gonna kiss you. with only the two of you in the car and the moon high in the sky, it's the perfect setup.

but instead, he takes you back to the dorms after moving on and forgetting about the whole conversation and drops you off with a sweet and friendly smile.

he doesn't kiss you. not this time or any others when he could've.

even if it would've been nice if he did. if he was sure it was something he wanted, and that you were the one. but it's okay, because you've convinced yourself that being with him is enough.

happy and content he still sends good morning texts, and still wants to hang out once in a while. that he still comments under your instagram posts that happens once in a blue moon, and he still sends you stupid memes.

because you're just the slightest afraid that if you try pushing your feelings onto him, he might not wanna do any of those things anymore.

so you keep him close; even if not in the way you really want, he's still beside you. that's what matters.

"he likes you, y/n!" grace preaches while pacing back and forth.

you were just enjoying your day off and with a book in your hand when your roommate and best friend came back from a date--with the first thing on her mind somehow being you and san.

"he doesn't," you answer, annoyed at this point and already having put down the book after losing your place at least three times due to her.

"no." she pouts and plops down on her bed facing you. "i've seen the way he looks and act around you. my instinct has a 90% accuracy."

seen how san's eyes would always linger on you whenever you're in the room, and having caught the smiles that would usually decorate his lips when you do something clumsy or endearing.

going above and beyond to do and say things that if yeosang was to do and say to another girl, she'd drag him by the ear and make him sleep outside.

but the statement's only met with an eyeroll from you.

"your instinct said san and ashley were fucking and they weren't, so?"

"that was the other 10%," your friend yaps, calming one second after. "i want you to just trust me on this one. if he doesn't like you, he wouldn't do what he does for you."

but you just can't help but to grow more irritated even if it's done out of good intentions. you're already frustrated and confused and grace isn't helping.

"maybe because he's just a nice person in general," you tell her, never having witnessed san be rude and unkind to anyone ever.

your friend sighs, her shoulders dropping but still wanting to encourage and give you some form of hopes, because she knows how much you like san. how much you wish he'd ask you out.

"he might be just as scared of rejection or messing up the friendship," she says, then pauses because it's gonna be out of your comfort zone but you have to try. "why don't you ask him out?"

your eyes go wide and you cringe at even the thought of it, telling your friend she's crazy for even thinking of it.

san doesn't like you and you're sure of that.

if he did, he probably would've told you by now, and he would've kissed you all those times when he had the chance. when it was just you and him in his car, in your dorm room, and back at the restaurant.

so you didn't plan on telling him, because you didn't think you could like san even more than you already did.

like him so much to the point that keeping it in was actually painful; when it felt like the only form of relief was to tell him.

at least not until spring again.

"what are you doing?" san's voice pulls your eyes from the sketch and to his face as he stares at you amusingly, your posture incredibly funny to him since you're trying to hide what you're working on.

feet planted on the cushion of the cafe's chair and elbows on your knees with your sketchbook just below your eyes, gawking and peeking at him for the last hour or so.

"i'm making art," you tell him, a giggle bubbling out after that san shakes his head to.

spring has returned. the petals once again fallen from the cherry blossom trees with the wind carrying it away in the streets as the cold chill from winter quiets down even if you still shiver and need a sweater.

you and san are seated at the same table in the corner and he's currently watching the spring show, his eyes following lone petals when they're still attached to the root until they become nothing but scatters on the streets.

his grey hoodie and sharp features a sight to see, especially when it's next to a big glass window with a view to match, though you think san is more beautiful. more than any spring blossoms or art.

feelings of butterflies and a fast heartbeat now replaced by something else--not that you still don't get them once in a while, but everything feels more natural. comfortable.

you find yourself caring for him in ways you usually didn't before. whether he ate, slept, or is genuinely feeling okay--you wanna know and hear all about it.

when he's happy, you're happy with him. but when he's sad or dejected, you also can't help but to feel the same. the last couple of months a ride of events that really tested just how strong the bond and friendship between you and san really is; never would you have predicted you'd grow to care so much about anyone else besides yeosang and grace.

"you shouldn't really be doodling. instead, use the time wisely to really think about what you wanna submit for the exhibition," he says, arms now crossed and eyes away from the window.

"don't worry. i already got an idea," you assure, a playful smile on your lips.

among other things san has helped you with, he was the biggest advocator in you entering the student art exhibition that will be taking place shortly just after the end of the semester.

you've always felt self conscious putting your work out, always choosing and picking carefully even when it came to posting on social media. and even then, your account is privated so only those close to you could see.

art is the only thing you've ever felt truly good at, letting your creations define you more than necessarry, and you're so afraid you'll be told one day that what you do and love isn't good enough.

"i want to but i'm also really not sure," you say, in the peace of the library with san across; the distress and conflict on your face as clear as day.

"why not?" san frowns. "i've seen your work. they're good enough to go in a museum, y/n."

the compliment makes you roll your eyes the same time you let out a scoff. "you're just saying that."

he shakes his head. "i'm so forreal. you're the best artist i know."

"i'm the only artist you know."

"that's not true. i also know uh... leonardo da vinci."

you laugh at that. "but i don't have an artwork worth at least 800 million, so unfortunately i am not better."

"i really don't think the mona lisa's all that great. any of your work would blow it out of the water easy."

there's a second of silence before you start laughing again, prompting san to giggle in return, but he starts, "i'm serious. you should really do it. plus, you'll be graduating soon. i think it's a great opportunity."

"when is it again?" he ask.

"june the 18th," you say, placing your sketchbook and pen down. "you'll be there, right?"

he nods at first, a simple smile settling on him. "of course," he answers, "i'll be there. i promise."

and as the day goes on, sitting in the comfort of the cafe with san as you continue the sketch you started and he occasionally switches between sipping his coffee and the assignment on his laptop, it gets harder to ignore the even stranger feeling that encloses you almost completely.

when the blooming of flowers and trees are fresh, along with the soft, gentle breeze of spring--you think you might be in love with san.

it seemed like it was just yesterday that you were talking graduation with yeosang and grace, but not even a year later, it's become a reality with your cap and gown sitting on your bed and the graduation ceremony merely a week away.

you think, even if with barely any plans after but to move back with your father and see where life takes you, you're still excited.

excited for the next step and for what's to come.

but san on the other hand, never seems too thrilled whenever you bring it up.

you know him to be an open person, always willing to talk about anything and everything; not a single mean bone in this man, except when it comes to talking about himself.

who he really is and who he wants to be after... he never wants to talk about it, so you try to not push it. be understanding and figure that maybe he isn't ready, yet.

that when he wants to tell you and wants you to know, he will.

but it's been a year since you've known him, and with each passing day, what you feel for him only grows gradually; so much that being friends just doesn't cut it anymore.

the feeling of love both exciting but also suffocating, you didn't even know.

you don't mind being friends with him, but staying that way means stopping what could be, and for some reason, the confidence that san feels the same also grows with every moment spent with him.

you didn't use to think so. dismissed grace's "instinct" and all that, chalking it up to san's natural personality to be kind and treat everyone with respect. but you started to see what she was talking about a while ago. you'd like to believe it.

how he's been a lot more touchy and sentimental these past few days; a look always in his eyes like apprehension that you can't quite read into but know something's on his mind. like he wanna say and tell you about it but can't.

then when he texts you the day just before graduation, asking if you two can talk later on in the evening, you certainly feel like this is it.

that he didn't do all of those things for you just to be nice or to be a friend. why else would he had asked to talk if it isn't something significant that he couldn't annouce through text?

you enter san's car that evening with a beating heart and a tight stomach, feeling so nervous and sick, you feel the food you ate just an hour ago coming back up.

and though it's a scene you're all too familiar with--you and san in the parking lot of the university's dorm building, there's an air in tonight's meeting you can't quite gauge.

something tense that makes the both of you sit in silence for a few seconds too long, nervousness gnawing at you once more while you start to doubt if the same is what's causing the current discomfort on san's face.

"hey," you start, trying to lighten the atmosphere that has gotten so awkward already, and you haven't even confessed. "how has your day been?"

he finally lifts his head up to look at you, his hands off the steering wheel and settling on his lap as he try to smile forcefully, you can tell.

"it was good, yeah..." he answers, tone dull and tired, you wonder if maybe he didn't get enough sleep. "you?" he asks in return but it doesn't sound like any other times.

like he didn't ask because he's genuinely interested, but because he has to.

"it was also good. yeah..."

you swallow down the knot in your throat, another long silence engulfing the car as you and san listen to footsteps and chitters of students having just arrived.

"i have something to tell you," you both say and turn to each other at the same time, the scary coincidence of the timing has both your eyes wide as echoes of giggles let loose temporarily.

despite the unpredictability of the other person and the possible turmoil after, you both can laugh for now.

"you go first," he says, nodding his chin your direction and sitting with a beating heart just a tad lower than yours that to you, fills your ears and the entire car.

you take a deep breath, your fingers naturally finding each other in moments of distress and finally uttering the words you've been wanting to tell him for a few months now.

"san, w-we've known each other for about a year now and i know this might be dramatic of me, b-but you're probably the best thing to happen to me," you speak so fast, another habit of yours when under pressure, barely looking him in the eyes to even notice the look in them, "and, and... i think what i wanna say is i like you. i really really like you and i wanna tell you that."

and when you finally level his eyes again, so relieved it's out now, but when you only see the cold, indifferent reaction, nothing like you predicted, you fear the worst.

and when san breaks your heart for the first time, you know you messed up majorly.

"i'm sorry," he mumbles, almost murmuring and keeps his head down as if ashamed to say such thing, "really really sorry."

messed up by letting feelings get in the way of a wonderful friendship with a wonderful person, and let his act of kindness get to your head because how could san ever possibly feel the same?

"no. i'm sorry," you say, volume barely above a whisper and voice between crying and staying strong in front of him. "i-i shouldn't have said that."

"no. it's okay. don't feel bad," he tries assuring in his usual calm and collected tone, but even he knows you don't believe him. but he means it, because he has way more to feel bad and be sorry for. "it's just..."

he can hardly look you in the eyes, your expression of heartbreak and guilt something he should be going through instead.

"i'm gonna be leaving in two days."

it suddenly feels like the world stopped at the drop of those words. your chest constricting and your breath hard to catch, the rejection nothing compared to the realization.

the hard reality that you're gonna be losing san. one moment as if he's right in front of you, you could almost grab him, and the next he's slipping right out of your grasp. just like that.

loving someone is such a horrible, awful feeling.

"w-where to?" you ask, the crack in your voice makes san wince and he can't wait for the night to be over with. for him, and for you.

"seoul, south korea," he answers lowly, pausing before adding, "that's what i wanted to tell you tonight."

and suddenly, everything makes sense. like having found pieces of puzzles you couldn't ever; it all hits you at once.

the first time you met him.

“i went into it because the people around me said i was good at it,” he says, a bit unfazed and dull. “that’s pretty much it, i guess.” and ending it with a smile when he catches your gaze again.

“but do you enjoy it?”

there’s a quick silence and san tilts his head slightly, quirking his lips to the side before answering.

“it’s not bad. if anything, it’s been easy, so i’m glad for that at least.”

you nod, smiling in return.

“that’s good. only one more year and we’ll be done.”

"yeah," he says, letting out a loose chuckle after. "i can't wait. there's something i want to do after, but for now, we'll have to see what happens."

the party.

“cute, isn’t he?” she turns to you, her gaze burning and making you feel small on the spot. her confidence something she walks with proudly and with an aura you hate yourself for even admiring. “but unfortunately a hard one to tie down.”

and all those times he'd dodge your questions and never want to answer anything concerning what it is he actually wants to do, or even how he grew up.

simply because san never planned to stay.

he was always meant to go after... even if he got to know you. he never wanted to be anything more with you.

you can't help the sense of betrayal that blooms from deep within, never wanting to have any ill feelings toward san but the hurt is so strong, you don't remember a time in your life you've ever felt this way before.

being mislead for so long and kept hidden in the dark. but even then, you can't seem to bring yourself to hate him.

a tear pricks your eye and you attempt to wipe it away, voice hoarse when you speak again, "that's what you always wanted to do, right?"

san just nods, unable to see him clearly through the tears multiplying and his gaze that has turned away.

"hey," you say, a soft call that san responds to, his fox eyes staring back that you're gonna miss. "i hope it goes well." you smile, a mixture of bitter and sweet.

"i know it will," you say once more, swallowing the knot dying in your throat and searching san for any reactions.

maybe you don't know who he was before or who he's gonna be after, but you know him right now. the boy you met a year ago and made you feel so many things; butterflies down to heartbreak--who, you're still so madly in love with, you don't even have it in you to wish him anything but well.

why would you wanna keep him in the small palms of your hands when there's a world out there much bigger waiting for him. a world that could make him so much happier and content.

you would never be upset about that.

when it looks like san isn't gonna say anything, his mind continuously in thought but lips unable replicate, you're the one to break the tension yet again, figuring he just needs time.

even if he's had time... to prepare all of this and for what he was gonna say, yet he's drawing nothing but blanks in the actual presence of you.

"i should uh, i should probably go," you announce when the silence sits for too long. "graduation is tomorrow and grace wants to wake up early in preparation."

he nods just as he's done cowardly before.

"i'll see you there?" your voice squeaks slightly for the first time tonight; some kind of hope and excitement in them.

you don't know whether he nods or hum, or if he even answers. just a vagueness to his expression that you take for a yes, because why wouldn't he be.

but if you knew at the time, that when you go to search for the familiar head of black in the crowd during the ceremony and you wouldn't find him, you would have said more

if you knew that even during the celebration after; a restaurant across the streets your friends wanted to go to, that he still isn't gonna come, you would've stayed longer last night.

tell him everything and wish him all the good in the world... if you knew that was the last time you would see him.

act like you're not constantly checking the door of the restaurant in hope he'd show up even for one last time so you won't feel so dejected and have all of yeosang, grace, and wooyoung look at you with pity.

say you're just tired and continue acting like your heart didn't do a flip at the drop of his name when yunho asks about his whereabouts and wooyoung tells the group he's busy packing up for tomorrow morning.

none of them seem to be aware he was leaving, besides wooyoung and your friends (for obvious reasons).

hold back your tears and attempt to not crack when you finally get wooyoung to yourself, telling him if he could give something to san.

something you've been planning to for a while but wanted to wait till it was finished, and when it was, you kind of forgot about it. until suddenly.

assure wooyoung it's okay when he tells you he's told san on plenty of occasions he needed to let you know.

and finally, when you get back to the dorms, you allow yourself to cry in grace's arms but also assuring her you're gonna be okay and she doesn't need to stay up with you

when it's past midnight, hugging your knees on edge of your bed in the dark watching as the trees sways outside the window, you wonder if this was how your uncle and mother felt.

why your uncle decided to move halfway across the country and leave everything he knew behind just for love, and why your mother still married your father despite everything against them.

a part of you finally starting to understand all the sacrifices and compromises yeosang and grace makes.

love is so strange.

you give into the events of today and curl up in bed, pulling the blanket over and closing your eyes.

before the blooming of flowers and trees, and the soft, gentle breeze of spring could even pass, san leaves you.

a month later

"don't be so nervous. you look great."

grace turns you by the shoulders to the mirror and you can hardly recognize yourself. the short black satin dress hugging your body and skin adorned in jewelries that doesn't even belong to you, nor are the heels on your feet.

you really didn't even think you'd be going, let alone have your work accepted for the exhibition among hundreds of other submissions.

have your work out in the open and on display for people other than your friends to see and judge. it's nerve-racking, but grace think you should at least dress for the occasion.

"yeosang said he'll be here in 15," she tells you.

you're nervous just sitting around, and even more so on the way to the gallery, the awful music yeosang has blasting not helping a bit.

"cookie points to whoever finds y/n's art first," grace says from the front, her lips turning upward as she challenges her boyfriend.

"that's easy. we can probably see the watercolor and blue from a mile away," he teases, prompting grace to smack him lightly by the arm; his comment making a scoff leave your mouth.

they don't know what you submitted. you didn't want them to, saying you wanted to really surprise them and get an honest opinion as it was the piece you probably took the longest on and put the most thoughts to.

the arrival doesn't make you feel any better, more cars than you predicted lined up at the front and in the parking lot, you have to take a deep breath.

"hey," yeosang says, his head peeking over the car seat with a small smile, "tonight's gonna be great. you go in there and get familiar with everyone and we'll meet you soon?"

you nod, unbuckling your seatbelt and undoing the wrinkles on your dress, ready to head out.

"good luck!" grace squeals just before you're out the car, waving to your friends as they grow further away to find parking.

you've been here a couple times before but never for your own work, of course. making way inside and glad that the first face you see is one of your professors from a class you had, his smile welcoming and you keep yourself close until it's time for the showcase, your natural tendency to stick close to people you know.

you finally spot your friends halfway into it, the two shamelessly standing in front of your work and shooting you looks they know is gonna make you flush in embarrassment.

the night goes on and that feeling of nervousness and anxiety easing the more other students also talk to you and compliments your work with you doing the same in return because everyone here is truly talented.

each and every artwork telling a different story and probably held closely by the artists themselves.

"see! that wasn't so bad," grace says, having ran to you the second you're free from the circle of students and professors, pushing you playfully by the shoulder and getting a giggle in response.

"i guess so."

"by the way, love the art!" she squeaks, so much happier and excited than you.

"and it definitely wasn't because your name was written on top that we knew, but your style is just too distinct," yeosang adds, "only thing different this time is it's pink."

you smile, the process of having to come up with something you'll be okay with everyone else seeing all coming back. how, it took a while, but once you knew, you wanted it to be as perfect as possible.

the pink cherry blossom tree next to a body of lake and the field next to it decorated in countless dandelions, all painted in the style you're best at--the watercolor really bringing life to the picture.

it's not often you can say you're proud of your own creations, but you can say you really like this one.

"well thanks, guys," you tell them, a laugh bubbling out at the end. "really appreciate you two coming out tonight."

"well, duh." grace rolls her eyes dramatically, her lips turning to a smile after. "we know this means a lot to you."

"for sure," yeosang says, checking the surrounding briefly before continuing, "you should probably finish up things here with everyone else first. me and grace are gonna head out to a shop nearby and we'll come pick you up when you're ready?"

"yeah. i probably should." because seeing the rest of the students and professors stuck in conversations, it doesn't seem right to just up and leave. you need a proper farewell at least. "i'll let you guys know."

you spend the next couple of minutes out of courtesy attempting to talk to anyone you could until the place mostly start clearing of visitors.

saying one last farewell to the professor you're most familiar with, you turn a corner to head out with the plan to call yeosang when you're stopped in your track by a figure suddenly emerging from the walls and now in your way.

when you meet his gaze and take in the fact he's dressed for the occasion, the suit he's wearing clad onto his body too perfectly (though when does he not look good in anything), you almost want to be angry it looks like he planned to come here tonight.

"san..." his name falls off your lips. a name you haven't said since a month ago and didn't plan to any time sooner.

"hey," he greets, awkwardly and quietly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his suit pants that shows off his legs you didn't even realize were so long.

but you're mostly just thinking and wondering why he's here. he isn't supposed to be here. he left a month ago to go chase his dreams, so why is he all of sudden standing in front of you in such a small gallery.

"w-what are you doing here?" you ask, no anger or pain in your voice though he thinks there should be; only curiosity the way you always sound.

"i promise i'd come, remember?"

“when is it again?” he ask.

“june the 18th,” you say, placing your sketchbook and pen down. “you’ll be there, right?”

he nods at first, a simple smile settling on him. “of course,” he answers, “i’ll be there. i promise.”

he did. but he also left.

you feel you might be going crazy, like this is all a dream and he's only a figment of your imagination because he wouldn't come back just for this. not for you.

"san," you say, a knot on the horizon, "you left. you left a month ago." like you have to remind him of the fact as if speaking to a ghost.

"i know i did..." he hangs his head in shame and you can only stare, the situation so unreal, you wanna try slapping yourself to see if you'll actually wake up. "and i want to apologize for doing so."

such words bringing upon a web of emotions, both you and san still standing smack in the middle of the public gallery and you're trying to keep your composure.

heck, you're still trying to process the fact he's really here.

"can we talk about this outside?" you say, voice soft and timid, alluding to the current scene that san takes a hint to. the walk out the most quiet and awkward as you both try finding some form of seating, settling on a bench not too far from from the entrance.

a couple seconds that feels like an entire minute passes before you start again, san's heartbeat loud and hammering from beside you.

"you don't have to apologize. you went after your heart, why would i be mad about that?" you mumble, but the volume still loud in the quiet night, the air of spring about to be summer soon.

san exhales in preparation, his chest rising and falling to what he knew you were already gonna say because that's just how you are. all of what makes you so likeable and easy to fall for. though right now, he doesn't need forgiveness or even an ounce of your kindness.

he doesn't deserve any of it.

"because i lied to you," he breaks it, straight and clear, and the reminder throwing you back to the month before that you wanted to forget so bad.

you don't wanna cry and you didn't plan to cry tonight but the tears you're currently trying to blink away says otherwise.

"you didn't lie... you just kept things from me," you try justifying, part of it to console your own self. because you'd like to think that though san omitted details, he never said anything that wasn't true.

"and that makes it any better?"

there's a quick, uncomfortable silence before you speak, eyes down on your lap. "i'd like to think so."

it would be a lie if you say you don't think back to that night often. the conversation and then the awful realization in the car that gave you one of the most most awful case of a heartbreak. nothing in comparison to your mother's death, but a different kind for a different lesson.

how, you've tried so hard to not linger because the longer you did, the more sick it made you, creating doubts in your head that you were certain could never be answered because san left.

but you do think about it. if san simply struck up a friendship with you and did everything he did knowing you were exactly the kind he could never develop romantic feelings for.

that the reason he never seemed to really want any of that, or even gave into advances from other girls was only because he was leaving. but if he wasn't, would he have given any of them a chance? would he have given ashley a chance?

but you don't really wanna ask him any of that.

"so, are you visiting, or? what really brings you here?" because you don't believe that he came back just for this. just for you.

he told you leaving was what he always wanted to do, and now he's suddenly back here, and you can't think of any good enough reasons to do so only after a month of being gone.

he takes a deep breath and for the first time after sitting down, you turn and look at him, even if he's avoiding your gaze to look ahead into nothingness.

"you know, i probably moved more in the span of 4 years than you have in your lifetime," he speaks, face in eternal concentration, you just wanna listen. "i don't know. it's complicated i guess... but it was difficult to really feel like i belonged anywhere." he shrugs, the same time the bittersweet smile at the corner of his lips is visible.

"wasn't ever that close to my family members and i try to not stick with the same people for too long. ashley and especially wooyoung were just more persistent than your average person." he pauses, then continues almost hesistantly, "because i knew if i did, i'd end up hurting them."

and how funny and hypocritical of him because you're the person he ended up hurting the most. the one he completely shut out and gave no closure to, because he didn't think he'd grow so attached to you in the matter of just a year.

"but that's just how it works, right? there are things you have to sacrifice in order to find happiness," you say, at this point still trying to excuse his actions although you still remember feeling hurt and betrayed not that long ago.

"but i wasn't happy over there." he squeezes his eyes shut and his lips curl together in frustration, as if trying to get through you because you're failing to understand the point. "i came back because i was the happiest while i was here. i came back for you."

he knows it's selfish. how beyond hurt you must've felt when he left, and now all of a sudden showing up asking for a chance, the turmoil of mixed emotions you're probably going through at the confession.

just a month ago, he literally ghosted you. and just a few months before that, he made you think he was gonna kiss you... when it was not kissing you that he had a hard time with.

he wanted it be as quick and painless as possible, and kissing you was only gonna do the complete opposite. if he kissed you, he would've wanted to stay. but given how everything turned out, he should've just not pushed the friendship at all.

should've never texted you, never invited you out, and he especially should've never talked to you to start with. but again, he's a bit selfish by nature and couldn't help but to be intrigued by you when he shouldn't have.

but he especially shouldn't have opened the door to wooyoung that night of the graduation, still able to recall the exact outfit he was wearing as the boy glared at him with a certain look of disapproval before he could even say a word.

"y/n asked me to give you this," wooyoung says, sounding tired from the day or maybe he's still just mad at san and doesn't really wanna talk.

san sighs and hesistantly takes the pink envelope, wooyoung's gaze burning into his before the boy says his final farewell.

"you know, you're really an asshole."

and it was almost like wooyoung showed up at 1 in the morning after a long day just to give it to san out of spite in hope he'll feel guilty, and it worked.

because the content in it played a big part in san ultimately deciding to come back, the sketch of him that day in the cafe with his grey hoodie watching the petal shower along with a short note attached to it haunting him day and night.

Because of you, I had one of the best years of my life. I hope things are better in Seoul, and thank you truly for being the greatest inspiration - y/n

so he came back for you, and he means it... though you don't look like you believe it the slightest and he doesn't blame you. he's done nothing but fed you doubts.

he hears a hard swallow from you that he finally turns to, your eyes glossy and lashes fluttering to hide it.

"san, you shouldn't be saying things like that. you know how i feel about you," you say, sniffing due to a clogged nose because you're not doing very good at not crying.

san's scooted next to you, his leg brushing yours and hands on your jaw as you look up at him, never this close or intimate before, butterflies in your stomach that you wish wasn't there.

"it's true. i mean every word of it. i've liked you for so long, you have no idea."

he's not sure when he started liking you, his guess is probably during the summer trip. but he remembers looking forward to your texts and thinking how pretty you are and how he wanted to get closer to you, even if he shouldn't have.

"then why did you leave?" you ask, your eyes vulnerable and lips pouting that he wanna kiss and soothe.

you understand him chasing his dreams, but if he liked you; if he came back afterall, why did he leave in the first place?

"because i'm not used to staying in one place for too long." his thumbs drawing circles and tending to your cheeks. "i want to travel. i want to see the rest of the world... find a purpose in life and see what else is out there waiting for me."

you open your mouth to say something but it's like he already knew, cutting you off before you could even start doubting again, "i don't see it as having to make sacrifices in order to find happiness, more so just putting it off for the time being. the rest of the world can wait because right now, i want to be happy with you."

he can still be happy with you and achieve his other dreams when the time is right. he don't wanna have to choose one or the other when he can make both work with efforts.

"so you don't have to think about it now, but when you do, i just want you to know i like you. really really like you, and i'd love to give it a shot if you're willing. only when you're ready, of course."

and yes, the man quite literally ghosted you and broke your heart in such a short amount of notice, you could barely process it at the time. but you also can't deny the way he makes you feel.

how, whenever he's near, your stomach still feels funny and your heart wanna do flips. and with him this close, you definitely still wanna kiss him.

it's not possible to get over such a man in just a month, but you were healing slowly and ready to accept the fact you won't ever see him again. and then he comes back and is inches away from your face, telling you everything you've ever wanted to hear.

the sudden sound of your phone going off at a notification makes the both of you jump as san pulls away and clears his throat.

you quickly search your purse for your phone and see a text from yeosang on the screen.

yeosang: u ready?

"it's yeosang,'' you tell san, locking eyes with him briefly and awkwardly. "he wanted to know if i'm ready to be picked up."

san nods, the air going quiet until an idea comes over. "i can take you." and when you don't answer, he tries testing if he can lighten the atmosphere even if just a bit. "i am renting the car so just don't make a mess."

but when the silence drags on and san can't read your expression, he thinks you don't want anything to do with him at this point, and rightfully so.

"yes," you say, the response picking san's head up to see a small smile you're trying to fight, "yes we can give it a try, and yes, you can give me a ride."

there's something shy but also daring in your tone, san sees the blush raising to your cheeks that brings out the widest smile from him, jumping in your arms to give you the biggest hug.

when he finally pulls away, the look of surprise on your face has him apologizing but you only shake your head with a smile.

"thank you," he whispers, "for giving me the chance. i promise i'll make it up to you."

you nod to his words, the smile still on your lips but unable to say anything due to the overwhelming (good) feelings.

then he goes to scratch the back of his head, a look of awkward and hesitant crossing him before finally saying it, "can i uh, can i kiss you?"

"yes," you actually answer, a giggle that cannot be contained leaving shortly.

and when he does kiss you, his lips just as soft and gentle as you imagined, the kiss even better than you had in your head, you're glad that your friend's instinct was right.

that san does indeed like you and everything he did wasn't just out of kindness and respect.

when you're both pulling away and indulging in a fit of laughter after and shaking your heads at the turn of events, you know he kissed you because it was something he wanted. because he thinks you might be the one.

when the blooming of flowers and trees are fading, along with the soft, gentle breeze of spring that finally passes, you're still in love with san, and you're sure he feels the same way.

a/n: ty 2 anyone who made it to the end. truly didn't think it was gonna b this long. but anyway, miss sabrina's new album just altered my brain chemistry. how r y'all doing lmfaoo

[lxvemaze]

hii !! i love all your works sm ◡̈ could i possibly request any texts with san ? you can do whatever you feel like !!

ofc!! so sorry this took so long, i was starting to feel a bit burnt out, and didn't want to overdo it :( i hope you like this!!

san with a long distance!s/o

pairing' san x reader

genre' fluff, smau

warnings' reader is living in nondescript foreign country, one suggestive slide

a/n' i felt so silly goofy writing this it was so fun

[hwaslayer]

vivrant thing (jwy) | mini series masterlist

inspired by the song: ‘vivrant thing’ by q-tip ;

—summary: after getting into a little accident, wooyoung decides to do his sister a favor by pretending to be your date at the company summer party. as soon as the night ends, wooyoung would go back to his usual routine of hanging out with his boys, keeping his distance from committed relationships and being a typical brother to jiwoo. except, the favor comes with more than what wooyoung expects and he finds you occupying his mind more than usual.

—pairing: jung wooyoung x f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriend's brother au | fluff, angst, smut

—general warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, wooyoung is 2 years older, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption - additional warnings will be posted for each chapter.

—release: soon .. 👀

—spotify playlist

01.

[cowboydk]

WOOYOUNG SERIES BY HWASLAYER ?!?!

it's like nikki knew i was deep in the wooyoung trenches... oh boy oh boy i'm so excited we're eating so well!!!

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | intro.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 2.0k

—warnings: nothing much; cussing, very general description of research topics/neuroscience experiments including mentions of mice research (no details)!, mentions of infidelity (not oc or san)

—a/n: ty for being patient with me <33 here's the lil intro to professor choi 🤪 i think i'll keep the same update schedule i've had (every other weekend) but ofc will let everyone know if i cant update for whatever reason!! enjoyyyy this rideeee 🖤

Clunk.

San throws his glasses onto his desk before leaning back in his chair, hands coming up behind his head for a stretch. He had been working on his progress report for one of his grants since this morning, and he was starting to feel the migraine come on.

"Fuck." He mutters, pinching at the bridge of his nose before he gets up to grab another cup of coffee from his Nespresso machine— popping in a pod with a level 9 intensity into the slot and pressing start. It's around dinner time, but quite frankly, San isn't too hungry. He'll eat something small. He's just tired, especially because of this progress report. But, it's due next week and he needs to finalize his class schedule for the upcoming quarter at the same time. He won't have as much time to get through the technicalities if he waits any longer.

He's pretty immune to the different intensities of coffee at this point; having eaten it for breakfast, lunch and dinner during his postdoc years. It won't do much for long, but it'll at least keep him going for the next couple of hours before he calls it a day and lays in bed. 

When his coffee is done, he pours some creamer into his mug and gives it a good stir before settling back into his office. His house is too big for one person, but he enjoys the stillness. The quiet. He used to hate it. He used to hate when every corner reminded him of his ex-wife. Now, he's gotten used to it. He's learned how to live alone, how to enjoy his peace. He lets out a small sigh, taking a sip of his hot coffee as he resumes to look at the computer screen to his side. Suddenly, his phone goes off and he's quick to shift his attention to it because it's slightly odd for this time of day. People don't normally call him unless he's settled on a phone call meeting ahead of time, and he doesn't remember booking any calls tonight.

"Hey." San picks up when he realizes it's Jongho. Okay, so he maybe he lied. He does take a few calls from close friends, most who are also professors at the same university. "What's up?"

"How's your T15 report going?"

"Long. It's terrible."

"Well." Jongho laughs. "Perks of being you, I guess." San rolls his eyes. 

"Yeah, thanks. Very enlightening."

"Anyways, I wanted to call really quickly. I figured you hadn't seen it yet, but wanted to put it on your radar. I looped you into an email for a possible collaboration. We're trying to meet this week if you're free. Might be good to see what it's worth, could get us more funding. Open more collaboration opportunities in the future." San presses the phone against his ear, holding it with his shoulder as he navigates to his inbox on his computer. He has a bunch of unread emails that he'll eventually respond to, paying a tad more attention to the pressing ones when he has a moment. He's not gonna lie, he does ignore a few if it's not of interest to him, or something he doesn't feel like he can contribute much to. He'll typically respond with a 'so sorry, no can do' if people get pushy and constantly follow up, but for the most part, he does his best to keep up and respond where it's warranted.

San sees the email Jongho is speaking of, but right underneath it, he sees another email from a student inquiring about rotating in his lab for the upcoming quarter. He's always interested when students reach out to rotate in his lab, but he can't accommodate all, especially when he doesn't feel like his research aligns with their goals. He usually takes 1 per quarter if it fits, otherwise, he doesn't have any at all. 

Out of curiosity, he clicks on the email since it has been awhile since anyone rotated in his lab. 

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Dear Professor Choi, I hope this email finds you well. My name is Y/N, and I'm currently a bioengineering grad student who is interested in rotating in your lab for the upcoming quarter. I have been thinking about diving deeper into computational analysis, mice behavior, 2-photon excitation and opto-stim work. I've spoken to your postdocs, Sunwoo and Belle, about their current projects and potentially collaborating since they seem to be touching up on all these aspects. I was hoping we can find a time to meet and chat a bit to see if it would be a good fit. The deadline to submit my rotation selections is coming up, so I'd like to make sure we meet beforehand. Let me know, happy to work with your schedule! Best, Y/N Y/L/N

The thing about San is that he's pretty good at picking up on a student's vibe through their emails. It's the tone, the professionalism, the way they write and carry themselves. He can tell when some people are a little more egotistical and ignorant, and he doesn't want people like that in his rather small, but mighty lab. His current grad students and postdocs all get along well, and they're bright people who are very passionate about their work and studies. He doesn't need people thinking they're above the others. In addition to that, he can also tell when students are just trying to get their name on a published paper doing work in his lab, or when they're just trying to wing their way through grad school. It's a shame, but he definitely has come across a few students in his inbox. They do exist.

You, though? He's intrigued. You seem bright. Genuinely passionate about the specific areas you're interested in diving into. Poised. He appreciates that. He quickly scans over your CV and the little blurb at the bottom that highlights the work you've done in your undergrad years and internships. Your work history. He sees that you've already dipped your toes in a few of the different areas you've mentioned. Worked with a few professors he knows. You've volunteered at a couple of places.

An all-rounder.

"Did you see it?" He almost forgets he's on the phone with Jongho.

"Mm, yeah. I'll respond in a bit, I think I can meet on Thursday. Sorry, I just got a little distracted. Saw another email about a potential rotation student."

"Gonna take one on this quarter?"

"Maybe. If it fits. She seems to be interested in a lot of the work we do. She knows Sunwoo and Belle."

"Oh, nice. That'll be cool."

"What about you? Taking on a rotation student?" Jongho is an assistant professor in the electrical engineering department, and he is often bombarded with inquiries himself. He usually always has a rotation student, and they almost always choose his lab to work in after their rotation program is up. San doesn't blame them— Jongho is brilliant, and his work creates a lot of different pathways for students to navigate and try. San's can be a hit or miss; it's quite niched, and students often find that it genuinely is tough to play around in his field.

"Yeah. Think so." 

"Alright. Thanks for giving me a heads up. I'll check my calendar and respond in a bit for sure." San eyes the email. "It does sound like a good collaboration."

"Figured you'd say that. Thanks, my guy! Take it easy and good luck on your progress report."

"Appreciate it." San gives off a toothless smile even though Jongho can't see him. He slides his phone off to the side and checks his calendar, upholding his promise to Jongho about responding to the email ASAP. He keeps his email short, letting the group know he can make the meeting at the desired time on Thursday to talk about the potential collaboration across labs.

Then, he pulls up your email and checks his calendar once more.

From: [email protected] To: y/[email protected] Hi Y/N, Thanks for your email - for sure! I think there's a lot of possibilities we could visit, especially with Belle and/or Sunwoo's projects. Can you pop into my office on Tuesday morning? 10am good? We can chat then. — San

"Oh shit." You slow your chewing when you see the email notification pop up on your screen during dinner.

"What?" Felix asks, turning his attention towards you and causing Jiung and Eunchae to do the same.

"Professor Choi answered my email."

"That was quick." Jiung takes forkful of food into his mouth.

"Professor Choi as in San or Jongho? Cause they're both hotties." Eunchae swoons and twirls her hair, making Felix scrunch his nose.

"San." 

"I'd kill to be a rotation student in their labs." Eunchae giggles. "What'd he say?"

"To meet him at his office on Tuesday to chat more."

"Well, that's good! Which other labs were you looking at?"

"I'm not sure. Song Mingi, Kang Yeosang, Jeong Yunho. Kim Namjoon—"

"Isn't Professor Choi's ex-wife with Professor Jeong now?" Jiung looks up with a squint.

"Yeah, apparently when it all went down, it was a mess." Felix chimes in, and you continue to type away at your phone. "Imagine your wife having an affair with your bestfriend."

"Harsh." Jiung does a head tilt.

"I guess they don't interact much anymore, do they? Seems to be water under the bridge."

"I don't think so, but Professor Lee works in the Chemical Engineering department so they might have to from time to time if students in her lab wanna be co-advised or collaborate with him. Professor Jeong, though."

"Awkward. At least they can keep it civil." Felix shrugs at Eunchae's response.

"They lowkey have no choice." Felix looks up in thought before shrugging. "Still sucks to know your bestfriend was involved."

"Seriously." You add.

"Either way, those are good labs to possibly rotate in. It'd be cool if you could get into Namjoon's lab. Heard he's cool as fuck even though he's the department chair." Felix tosses his napkin into his empty paper bowl.

"Yeah, same. I'll keep you guys updated." You send off your response to Professor Choi with a small sigh. "There. Hopefully my rotation will be settled for the quarter."

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Hi Professor Choi, Yes, I can meet you at 10am on Tuesday. Thank you, and see you then! Best, Y/N

"Maybe you'll get more out of the rotation, especially with Professor Choi." Eunchae nudges your side and you let out a small yelp before you playfully pinch her bicep.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jiung snorts.

"I'm just saying, he's successful. A hottie. Young. Single—"

"Here she goes." Felix lets out a breath.

"Bro. Calm down." Jiung laughs. "He's still a professor."

"What if you two get close during rotation and he falls in love with you?" She looks at you ever so seriously. 

"Relax." Felix laughs. "What kinda movie did we fall into?"

"Eunchae, please." You poke her cheek. "You know we rarely ever see the professors in lab. We get like.. five minute meetings with them and that's about as much of a personal interaction we'll get. They're busy people. Sorry to burst your bubble, bae." She shrugs.

"It was fun to think about." She giggles. "But no, that'll be a good experience for you if you get to join his lab for rotation. The others are great, too. Is he your first choice for a dissertation advisor, though?"

"As of now, yeah. But, we'll see how it all goes."

"Keep us updated." Jiung sips some water. "I think I need to reach out to one more professor for this quarter. Needa figure out my shit before classes start."

"Same." 

Meanwhile, San sees the notification from your email pop up in the corner of his screen and he immediately presses on it. He smiles a bit when he realizes how easy scheduling that meeting was— most of the time, people say they'll work with his schedule but end up pushing back. He slots you into his calendar before he can forget and switches his attention back to the progress report he's close to finishing up. 

San thinks it'll be nice to host a rotation student again, as the experience has always been useful, eventful, productive. He thinks it'll be like any other time; the experience being useful, eventful. Productive. He trusts in his group, the students, to come up with great ideas and be able to execute from start to finish.

So, he doesn't think much of it. He thinks he can hand you off and trust you with Belle and Sunwoo.

Little does he know that's where he gets it all wrong.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @lynnsqueendom

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—general warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, forbidden love kinda thing, age gap (oc is 25 & san is 32), other members in the fic are also aged up, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, party scenes - additional warnings will be posted for each chapter.

—release: 8/16/24

—table of contents | spotify playlist ;

intro: professor choi

one: tbd

[hwaslayer]

YUHHHHH 🤪 hope you enjoy this one bae!!!! 🫶🏼

[cowboydk]

#should i release the intro early 🤠

UMMM YES you know i will never say no to being spoiled via your lovely writing!!

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—general warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, forbidden love kinda thing, age gap (oc is 25 & san is 32), other members in the fic are also aged up, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, party scenes - additional warnings will be posted for each chapter.

—release: 8/16/24

—table of contents | spotify playlist ;

intro: professor choi

one: tbd

[cherryredcheol]

"baby"

tldr: all the way seungcheol uses your nickname a/n: this has been written and waiting to be posted forEVER but i'm finally ready (i am down horrific for this man)

seungcheol x reader fluff wc: 1k

reprimands: to make sure you know he's yours

“baby.” his tone is firm, controlling. he thought it would be a good idea to invite you to his shoot today, thinking you'd like to see him in the expensive clothes he was always put in for cover shoots. what he didn’t account for was you pouting over the friendly makeup artist assigned to him for the day. 

“don’t pout. you know i only have eyes for you.” he was trying to reason with you but his patience was wearing thin. you were being difficult on purpose and he couldn’t really do anything about it given the need to protect his image and act as professional as possible. you just huffed, frown settling deeper on your face. 

“you’re being a little unreasonable,” based on the look you gave him that was the completely wrong thing to say to you. he turned when he heard them call for him from set. it was time to shine. he walked over to where you sat, bending down to meet your eyes, “if you’re good for the rest of the day i’ll reward you when we get home, baby.” 

whines: when he doesn’t have your attention

“baby,” he could hear the pathetic tone in his voice but he just couldn’t help it. he’d had a long day of meetings and listening to presentations, the only thing keeping him going was knowing that you would be waiting at home for him when it was all over. you’d look at him with your soft eyes and dote on him all weekend, just how he liked. now here he was, waiting to be coddled and you were too busy giggling at your phone to spare him a glance. 

“what could be so entertaining on the phone that you can’t spend time with me?” he was laying it on thick but he was desperate at this point, especially when his question was only answered by another tittering laugh that was still not directed at him. at this point, he was fed up. he craned his neck to see what had you all giggly. 

“oh my god. you’re kidding me!” he couldn’t believe his eyes. playing on your phone was an edit of him from the most recent gose episode. the clip wasn’t even his best moment in the episode, but he did look quite handsome that day so he can’t blame you for watching. he still really wanted to be fussed over, “seriously, put your phone down. i’m much cuter in person, baby.” 

cat-calls: as you walk by in his favorite dress

“baby!” he called out to you, dragging out the ‘y’ sound. you paused, stopping in the middle of the bedroom as you crossed from the closet to the ensuite bathroom. he was seated on the bed, tying his shoelaces when he caught sight of you in the soft pink sundress he loved so much. you looked at him with big, curious eyes, wondering why he had stopped you in the middle of getting ready for your date in the park. 

“spin for me.” he got up from the bed and reached for your hand. he held it up, above your head and twirled you in a circle, eyes taking in every inch of you. he was excited to have a picnic with you but now he was considering scrapping the whole thing to stay behind. seeing you in a sundress always did something to him. 

“you’re so beautiful,” he was full of compliments, making sure you knew exactly how beautiful he thought you were. he considered himself a lucky man every day he got to spend with you. he supposed his desire for you could wait a few hours. he should spoil you rotten with a date in the park, before spoiling you in bed. “sure you really want to go out, baby?”

admires: because he’s proud of you

“baby,” his voice is soft, eyes even softer as he cups your face. he’d just gotten home from his schedule and you’d greeted him at the door, immediately sharing the news of your promotion with him. it was a small, mostly lateral move, with a tiny raise but you were still excited to share the news with him. he kisses you deeply, trying to convey his pride to you wordlessly. 

“i should tell my mom. she’s going to be so happy for you.” this made you blush. you knew he’d be proud but you didn’t really expect him to be so happy that he’d want to tell everyone. it wasn’t even a big deal. you begged him not to call his mom right that moment and instead conceded to a spontaneous celebratory dinner at your favorite restaurant. 

“i’m so proud of you,” this was now the sixth time he told you this since you shared the news with him, the second on the car ride to the restaurant. you blushed every time he said it, and had asked him to stop, to which he refused. in fact, he had doubled down. he threatened to have a cake brought to the table at dinner if you tried to silence him again. at a red light, he fished his phone out of his pocket, handing it over to you, “call my mom, for real. i want us to share the news with her. she’s going to be so proud, baby.”

barks: on accident

“baby!” the name came out harsh, frustrated. you’d never heard it that way before; this time, it wasn’t even directed at you. the dressing room fell silent and you watched the blush creep up his neck. the boys were never going to let him live this down. he turned from you, the conversation you were having before he went on stage now gone from his mind. 

“sorry, i meant to say ‘seungkwan’”. he was trying to save the situation but it was awkward. not only had he tried to reprimand his members but he’s accidentally used your name to do it, embarrassing himself in front of his members, staff, and you. what was once a bustling hub of movement and concert preparation came to a screeching, uncomfortable halt at his faux pas. 

“we know you like seungkwan, but we didn't know you liked him that much, hyung.” jeonghan broke the tension saving his leader and ushering in some polite laughter. the commotion slowly began again and he turned back to you. his face looked normal, probably due to the makeup, but his neck was bright red. he was flustered, “they’re never going to let this go, baby.”

[hwaslayer]

flowers on the floor (kys) | part two. (final)

(part one)

—summary: when yeosang decided he was going to take a month-long vacation, he was mainly hoping to get away from his mundane routine and the stress of work. he certainly wasn’t expecting to meet you and build a connection unlike he’s ever known. when the end of his vacation nears, promises are made to keep the relationship alive, to keep it blossoming. but eventually, as the reality settles in and the distance continues to put a wedge into your relationship, you drop your end of the promise without any trace. despite the heartbreak, all yeosang can do is think about you— hoping the universe will lead you to each other again.

—pairing: kang yeosang x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 25k | playlist

—content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, details about a toxic relationship (mentions of gaslighting, manipulation, infidelity), a lil more details about oc’s family dynamics, alcohol consumption and intoxication/yacking, party scenes, crying, lots of overthinking, insecurities, negative talk, lots of lil flashback scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f. receiving), making out, sprinkle of breast play, sorry if i missed anything - i tried to edit this quick af lol

—a/n: ty for waiting for me <33 see you soon for professor choi's debut 🤪

Yeosang can remember the last time he had a good night sleep, and it was when he was with you.

Now, he calls your dead number hoping you’ll miraculously pick up— just to be met by that automated message that reminds him that you really aren’t around and he has no idea where to find you.

It’s a shame he doesn’t even have your friends saved on his phone. He always relied on you, communicated through you. He could easily pull them up on Instagram, but he feels the need to just go to town in case you’re still hiding out in any of its corners, hiding out in its deepest crevices. 

He doesn’t think he’ll find sleep any time soon, so he gets up and gets himself ready as it hits 6am. He takes a taxi down to the train station, making it just in time to catch the 6:45am train to town. He’s got a new podcast he listens to, one that he wishes he could share with you and tell you all the details about. He misses the nights when you’d share your true crime findings and he’d talk about his current podcast obsession for hours on end. He misses hearing your voice, misses hearing how enthusiastic you get. He misses when you used to call him babe or baby; whining over the phone for his attention. 

He misses everything about you.

He’s not even sure why he’s impulsively heading to town, now that he really thinks about it. He’s truly holding onto hope that maybe you’re just hiding out and taking time away, even though his gut is telling him otherwise.

He gets into town a bit close to 11am, and he takes a taxi straight to the restaurant. Everything feels like a distant, far memory. Waves of emotions wash over him as he watches the surroundings brush past, remembering his first times here. All of his memories with you.

It feels like a fever dream.

“Yeosang!” Mingi yells with a smile on his face. He wraps his arms around him in a big hug, patting him on the back. He knows what he’s here for and he’s already sorry he can’t be of more help to him, especially when he sees that Yeosang arrived alone and without you. He wishes he can, but he can’t. He’s just as lost as he is. “Missed you, my guy.”

“Aye! Look who it is!” Keeho and Jungkook come out from the back to greet Yeosang with soft smiles and daps.

“Hey. How’s it going?” Yeosang digs his hands into his pockets. “Where’s Mina?”

“She’s at work. The dentist is open on Saturdays and she’s the office manager.” Yeosang nods as Mingi responds. “Keeho, can you take them?” He nods towards the customers that just walked in and sat down.

“Bruh, why me? What do you even do here? Act like decoration?” Jungkook snorts.

“It was good seeing you.” Jungkook smiles. “Let us know if you want anything, on the house.” He turns to finish cooking in the kitchen.

“No seriously, we missed you, dude. Stay for a bit or something. Get comfortable.” Yeosang shakes his head and smiles at Keeho.

“Thanks, I’m good. Promise.”

“You okay?” Mingi looks at him as Keeho and Jungkook busy themselves. 

“I— yeah, I don’t know.” Mingi sits and lets out a breath.

“I see Y/N isn’t with you.” Mingi says it out of worry; there’s no tension, no bad blood, no anger behind it. He’s not teasing and pushing Yeosang’s buttons. He is just worried.

“And I see she isn’t with you, either.” Yeosang purses his lips— the hope he had slowly dwindling and lowering on the gauge. 

“Yeo, I’m not sure what to tell you. She was here, then she was gone.”

“Did she—“ Yeosang slightly shakes his head. “Did she tell you where?”

“I’m sorry, dude. I really wish I could tell you, but I don’t know anything. She didn’t say anything to anyone. Just.. left. When she was supposed to be back at work after visiting you, we hadn’t heard from her or seen her all day. We went to her studio and the landlord said she packed up and left, never came back.” Yeosang sighs and it breaks Mingi’s heart a bit. “I tried to reach out to her and check up on her but her old number doesn’t even go through anymore.”

“Yeah.” Is all Yeosang says.

“I’m sorry.” Mingi looks at him. “So, she never came to see you that week?”

“No. I-I waited for her when she was supposed to come. For almost an hour. She never showed. Her number was dead by then.” Mingi shakes his head.

“It doesn’t make sense.” Mingi mutters, but he’s mostly thinking outloud, saying it to himself.

“It doesn’t. I don’t really know what to do.”

“I’m sorry.” Is all Mingi can say, because what else can he do? He doesn’t know anything. None of them do. “We’re gonna continue keeping an eye out for her. Any sign of her. You’ll be the first to know.” He hands Yeosang his phone. “I realized we all never got your number.” Yeosang chuckles a bit.

“I was eventually going to ask, but yeah. I got comfortable with Y/N being around and sending messages on my behalf.” He plugs in his number and hands the phone back to Mingi. Mingi sends him a message and gives him a tiny, pursed smile before tucking his phone in his pocket.

“That’s me. I sent you Keeho’s, Jungkook’s and Mina’s, too.”

“Thanks.”

“It probably sounds dumb with the circumstances, but give her some time. I think she’ll come around.”

“Mm.” Yeosang hums. “I just hope she’s okay.” There’s a slight pause between the two before Mingi speaks up again.

“Want anything for the road?” Yeosang shakes his head.

“I’m good. I’ll see you guys again soon. Maybe?” Mingi brings him in for a hug and nods.

“Soon.” Yeosang waves to Keeho and Jungkook before stepping out of the restaurant, taking in the smell of the ocean nearby. 

“Shouldn’t we file a missing person’s report or something? Like.. she’s deadass missing. Is no one getting that?” Keeho asks.

“No.” Jungkook shakes his head. “Keep your voice down.”

“What do you mean no, Kook? We have no idea where she’s at, even Yeosang. She could be hurt.”

“No, I know she’s not. I know she’s out there somewhere, okay. Just give her some time. Let’s not make it any bigger than it should be right now, she probably has a reason and needs to be by herself. Let’s trust her, alright?” Keeho and Mingi let out deep sighs before nodding. Jungkook isn’t sure where he’s pulling this from— honestly, he does feel it within him, instinctual if you may, that you’re fine and that you’ve managed to find a safe place.

“Fine. But if it gets too long, I’m serious.” Keeho tosses the rag onto the counter and continues to tend to the customers sitting around.

Yeosang takes a small stroll along the beach, kicking along at the rocks and listening to the waves crash against the surface. It hurts a little to be here without you, because everything about this town is you. He swallows the lump in his throat when he feels the dull pain in his chest, doing his best to push it aside and breathe through it. He walks deeper into town, waving and conversing with a few people he had met from his visit. They’re all happy to see him, and they all question where you’ve been since they hadn’t seen you around. All he can do is shrug in return and tell them that he hasn’t seen you either.

It’s all a big game. 

They sympathize with him, maybe some even pity him, but they send him off with warm smiles and big hugs— telling him they hope to see him again for longer soon. He hopes so, too. But next time, he hopes to be with you. Happy again.

Whenever that is. 

He’ll tell himself it’s soon, even though he knows he’ll have to go through a long ass maze before he gets to the end.

Jeongin looks at you as you sort through your two luggages and fix your clothes into the three drawers on the side of your bed frame and in your tiny closet. He doesn’t even know what to say— quite frankly, he’s still trying to process the fact that you’re in front of him. In the flesh. Organizing your clothes because.. you’re back home and staying?

“So.. what? You just upped and left everyone? Your other friends? You didn’t tell anyone anything?”

“Nope.”

“You even got a new number. How are they supposed to contact you?”

“They don’t. For now.”

“Even that visitor guy you were seeing?” You stay quiet. It breaks your heart when Yeosang’s face flashes in your head. You miss him, you miss everything about him. And you wish it was easier to explain yourself, to tell him why you felt the need to run.

You just don’t think you deserve him. How could you be the person he deserved? What if you failed miserably and disappointed him, too? You couldn’t live with it. Not another disappointment.

“What if they file a missing person’s report, hm?” Jeongin tilts his head and you pause, looking at him dead in the eye. Jeongin realizes he doesn’t even know any of your friends from town by name. You’ve talked about this visitor guy so often, yet you’ve never said his name. He knows him as the visitor, that’s it. He’ll never understand why you tried to keep the two parts separate, but he guesses it’s making sense now— because of times like these, when you just need to be away and alone where no one can find you. But, why? What is the reason this time?

“They won’t, okay? I’m going to call them soon. Just.. let me get my things together.”

“No one else knows you’re here? Ryujin, Bin and Sannie?”

“Nope. I’m gonna see Ryujin tomorrow.”

“Your parents—”

“Not one word to them, Yang Jeongin.” You look at him. “Not yet. I’ll talk to them when I’m ready.”

“Okay, but my parents are gonna wonder why I keep leaving the house Y/N. Did you not think about any of this?” You sigh.

“No. I’m sorry. But, don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll get to them before your parents question anything.”

“What’re you planning to do here then?” The questions continue to spill out of Jeongin’s mouth because he sure as hell wasn’t expecting you to call him in the middle of the day, asking for you to meet him at some random house. He finds you’ve rented a tiny in-law, using the savings you’ve accumulated over time, but that’s not really the issue. He’s happy you’re back home [in a sense], but you look frazzled. All over the place. Sad. Hurt. And Jeongin isn’t sure why you’re hiding from everyone and why you’ve decided to do this without letting anyone know. But, he can’t say he’s surprised because you did leave after graduation without saying much. He can’t say he’s surprised because you tend to run, and you run often.

“I don’t know, Innie. I just don’t know how to explain it. I wanna get myself together and get a job at the vet or aquarium, start working my way up so people start finally realizing I do have a purpose.” You pathetically chuckle. You just want to feel worthy. Like you have something to be proud of. Like you can finally genuinely be proud of yourself. For things you wanna do.

“Okay, cool. I’m all for it. But.. did something happen? Did he hurt you?” You remain quiet, tears threatening to spill. “Y/N, did he hurt—”

“No.” You sniffle. “He could never. It was me.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t deserve him. What if I disappoint him, too? What if I can’t be the person he needs? What if he realizes I’m not shit?”

“Don’t say stuff like that.” He furrows his brows. “Why didn’t you give him a chance? It sounded like he cared about you, so why did you just let it go?” 

“I can’t explain it. I just don’t wanna be another disappointment to someone, especially him.”

“Y/N.”

“Jeongin, please. Okay? I’m tired. I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to explain it to you. Please be on my team right now, that’s all I need.” He sees the tears slowly falling, staining your cheeks as you continue to unpack and keep quiet. He lets out a small sigh, shifting in his position on the hardwood floor to embrace you in a warm, tight hug.

“I am, I am. I’m sorry. I just wanted to be sure you were okay and not hurt.”

“I am.” It’s another lie, but it’ll help hold over until Jeongin becomes more curious.

“Can you do one thing for me, though?”

“Hm?” You hum.

“Can you promise me you’ll call your friends from town? They’re going to worry about you.”

“I will.” He nods and wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans before standing.

“Should we go out and buy you some more furniture?” He looks around the incredibly empty and sad room. “Maybe some decor? I don’t know. Give your space some life?”

“If you buy me dinner, intern.” He rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” You chuckle, wiping away the stragglers running down your cheeks before hugging him tightly. Closely. You really missed your cousin, and he’s the comfort you need right now. Jeongin wraps his arms around you before squeezing lightly and pulling away. 

“Let’s go.”

Jeongin takes you to a small furniture and decor store nearby, one that isn’t typically crowded or sought out. It does have cute furniture in stock, and you manage to grab a few necessities and prints to hang around your room. You don’t grab much, though. It’s enough to fit in Jeongin’s car [barely]. As promised, he takes you out to dinner while you sort through your employment plans with him. At the same time, he manages to update you about how his internship is going, how he’s trying his hardest to work hard and make sure he’s keeping up. You can only imagine how tough it can get for him, but he’s a smart and bright kid— you know he’ll succeed either way. You stay for about 2.5 hours before the sun finally sets and you’re heading back to your place under the twinkling stars, the bright moonlight.

While you’re fixing up your place with Jeongin that night, Yeosang finds himself getting wasted just a ways away. He doesn’t know you’re so close; yet, in his mind you’re so far and distant. So gone and lost. And that’s what kills him every time he thinks about it because he just doesn’t know where you are. It kills him because he still holds so much love for you, and he all he wants to do is hold you. Tell you everything will be okay. Console you. Be the man you need.

You won’t let him, though. Why?

“Yeo, that’s enough.” Chaerin pouts as she shoves the soju bottle away. “Let’s go.” 

“One more.” He says, struggling to bring the shot glass to his lips. Wooyoung takes the glass from his hand and takes the shot on his behalf, no longer wanting Yeosang to drown in all this alcohol tonight.

“Let’s go.” Wooyoung repeats, standing to his feet while Jongho helps Yeosang up.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Jongho struggles to hold up a drunk, stumbling Yeosang. He’s got an arm over his shoulder but he keeps slumping over, making it harder for Jongho to take proper steps.

“You okay?” Jongho asks even though he’s clearly not. But, he needs to know if they should stop and sit. If he’s gonna yack.

“Will I ever be?!” Yeosang drunkly responds with a pathetic laugh. “She fucking left and I have no idea where the hell she is! I’m so stupid— this is all so fuuuuucking stupid!” His tone raises, causing a few passerbyers to look their way.

“Yeo, come on.” Woo says, handing him some water. “Stop.”

“I just wish she knew how fucked up this is.” Yeosang laughs again. “Isn’t so fucked up how much I love her and she doesn’t even feel the same?”

“I don’t mean to play devil’s advocate right now, but you don’t know that. You don’t know what happened.”

“She left, that’s what happened! If she felt the same, she wouldn’t have done that! You d-don’t do that to people w-who—” He hiccups as he struggles to get his thought out.

“Okay, okay.” Chaerin diffuses the situation. “Let’s just go home and get you in bed.” She looks at Jongho and Wooyoung, both having the same, concerned expression on their faces. They finally make it to the car and shove Yeosang’s drunk ass in the back seat, with Chaerin holding a plastic bag in hand just in case. 

Luckily though, Yeosang falls asleep for the short ride home. It becomes a mess all over again when Wooyoung steps out of the car to let him out— Yeosang stumbling over himself and damn near falling before leaning onto the side of his apartment and yacking his brains out. Chaerin stays with him until he’s good, all 3 helping him into his apartment and into bed. Chaerin gives him one last look as she sets the water bottle and trash can near his bed, a small frown forming on her lips as she leaves and shuts his door behind her. Wooyoung decides to stay behind and plops onto Yeosang’s couch, making himself comfortable for the rest of the night. He scrolls through his phone, pulling up IG in hopes of finding any possible way to get into contact with you. He knows it’s a reach, but he just feels like as Yeosang’s bestfriend, he needs to try.

He tries your name, but of course, nothing comes up. He looks up the restaurant Yeosang told him about, and he sees the restaurant’s IG page. He’s not sure what he can do with it, though. Even if you’re in the photos, it doesn’t give him anything. Yeosang has already traveled back to town to get more info from your friends, but apparently, they aren’t aware of your whereabouts either.

Where the fuck were you?

He’s already feeling frustrated with the fact that he has no other leads; he can only imagine what Yeosang’s going through right now. He wished he knew, but he’s at a loss. Wooyoung’s just hoping Yeo will at least get a sign soon. He doesn’t think you’ll hide out for long, there’s no way. Even with all this shit, he truly believes you’ll still find Yeosang and talk this out. He’s holding out hope, especially if his bestfriend can’t right now. It’s hard to tell if it’s a good or bad thing at this moment, but he can at least be a pillar of strength for Yeosang if it all falls through. Or, a pillar of strength to push him forward because he knows how much he cares about you.

All these thoughts swirling in his head put him to sleep pretty quickly, and Wooyoung falls into a deep sleep— better than one that he expected. However, that next morning is rough for Yeosang, to say the least. He wakes up and has an awful, pounding headache. He forces himself to get up anyway; hops in a quick, hot shower and heads out to find Wooyoung lying down on his couch, now stirring himself awake.

“You good?”

“Define good.” Yeosang plops on the floor by him.

“Guess not.” He snorts. “Do you remember last night?”

“Surprisingly, yeah. I do.” Yeosang sighs. “Sorry. I gotta call Chaerin and Jongho to apologize.”

“It’s all good. We know it’s tough right now.”

“Still.”

“So, what now?”

“I don’t know. I’ll keep looking, I guess. I—“ He pauses. “I don’t wanna give up on her even though she already has. I just can’t find it in me to let it go.”

“I mean, I get it. But, you do know, there is gonna come a point where you’ll have to if she hasn’t reciprocated or tried reaching out. I’m only saying this because you’re my bestfriend. I want you to find her and I want you two to work through this and be happy. But, I also need you to realize the other side of this in case it falls through.”

“I know. Thanks. I appreciate it.” He lays his head back against the edge of the couch and shuts his eyes.

“Wanna get breakfast? Just gotta drive me home so I can wash up and change.”

“Sure.”

“I’ll treat your ‘lil sad ass out.”

“Fuck you.” Wooyoung laughs as they both get up and get ready for their day— a day where Wooyoung can at least try to help his bestfriend stop thinking about you, stop thinking about everything going on for a bit. Maybe, he can at least have somewhat of a normal day.

For you, it’s not necessarily an ordinary day either. You’ve been standing in front of your mirror, trying to get yourself together before heading to Ryujin’s house after these years. You know San and Changbin are probably there, and you’re not really sure if you’ll ever be ready to see your friends after dipping and dashing.

How to explain yourself now? Why were you back? 

Why were you running again?

You’re honestly not planning to call ahead of time, you’re just hoping she’ll be home at the time you come. You feel entirely unprepared, nervous, scared even, that she’d judge you for being who you are. For getting too into your thoughts, for thinking the way you do, for running. But, she proves you time and time again that she is your bestfriend for a reason. Your bestfriend that you can count on and feel safe with regardless of distance, time.

“Y/N?” Ryujin opens the door slowly, a small pout forming on her lips. You don’t say anything in response before you find yourself crying and throwing your arms around her tightly. Every emotion, every bit of sadness, hurt, confusion, fear, you had been feeling finally swept to the surface and made itself known. She cries, too. But, you think Ryujin is mainly crying because she hasn’t seen you physically in years. Part of it could also be that she hates seeing you cry, and she’s most definitely aware that something is going on for you to be crying on her doorstep. She’ll wait until you’re ready to share, though. For now, she’ll take the fact that she has you here, and possibly for good again.

“Is she crying?” San asks from the living room, where him and Changbin are currently sprawled out on the floor.

“Over our food getting delivered?” Changbin sits up. “Is she getting her period?” He looks at his phone.

“I don’t know, isn’t it more towards the end of the month? That’s when she gets hella—” Changbin looks up and immediately stands, approaching you as you stand in the hallway next to Ryujin.

“Y/N? No way!” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a big hug. “Is that actually you?” 

“Yes it’s me, you dummy.” You mumble against his chest before he pulls away and gives San a chance to hug you.

“What the hell, why didn’t you tell us you were coming?” Changbin asks, but he suddenly shifts his tone when he notices how red your eyes are. The bags underneath. How tired and stressed you seem to be. “Wait, what’s wrong?” The question is enough to trigger more crying from you, causing you to dig your face into your hands before you even get a chance to sit.

“Here, let’s go sit so we can all talk.” San ushers you to the living room couch, sitting alongside you with Ryujin on your free side. Changbin opts for sitting on the ground, looking up at you with concern. You tell them everything, and you mean everything: running away because of all the pressure from your family, the hurt you felt from your ex. Your need to start new somehow, to feel worthy, to feel loved and appreciated in one form or another. You still don’t give them any names, but you do tell them you’ve made really good friends down there that you think they’d enjoy. 

Then, with a brief pause, you tell them about Yeosang. Un-named, of course. But, you tell them like it’s the greatest love you’ve ever experienced in such a short amount of time. It is. Kang Yeosang was the biggest blessing you’ve been granted in such a long time, you’re not even sure how you’d ever move on or what you’re even doing right now. Changbin rests a hand on your knee when he sees you struggling to speak in between your sobs, choked up from all the crying you’ve been doing. Quite frankly, he has seen you cry like this. He hated it because back then, you cried because you were hurt. You were hurt and as your bestfriend, he was angry. You were treated terribly, you were treated in a way that you absolutely did not deserve. And for the longest time, he wondered when you’d stop crying over your ex, when you’d finally get past that point of being so down and out about someone who didn’t recognize your worth. Now, he finds you’re crying because you’re so deeply in love. You’re crying because you’ve been so afraid to hurt the only good thing that’s ever come into your life. You’re crying because you gave up the one thing that brought you pure happiness out of all the fear built within you from your past. He hates it now because he’s sad for you. All that mess from the past made you leave the one thing you truly deserved— a chance at pure, genuine happiness. 

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Ryujin continues to hold you and rub your arm. “I’m sorry.” She repeats. “What can we do? Should we go back to town? Why keep hiding if you know you feel the same way for him?”

“I’m just scared. I’m scared I’ll treat him badly and I won’t make him happy. I just can’t—”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.” San taps your leg, reassuring you and not wanting to overwhelm yourself. “You’re an amazing person though, Y/N. I’m sure he loved you for you and would’ve been willing to do this ride with you. Nothing is ever perfect.”

“Look, we’ll be here to support you no matter what, okay? You know that. Just tell us what you’ll need and we’ll help you. But, I need you to know that you’re never going to be alone. You won’t be. No matter what it is, you can always talk to us, Y/N.” Bin chimes in. “You don’t have to go through all of this by yourself just because you think no one wants to listen to you or help you get through it. You’re not being a burden, I don’t care what anyone else says.”

“I’m sure the same goes for your friends from town and.. him. Whatever your ex did, doesn’t define who you are. Same thing with the fights you had with your parents. None of that is you.” You sigh, lazily wiping away at your tears as you nod. Maybe it was time to finally come face to face with your demons. Maybe it was time to finally learn how to make peace with it and stop letting it determine your surroundings, your environment, your present.

Because it isn’t your past.

“I really missed you guys.” 

“We missed you, too.” 

“You’re staying?” San asks.

“I am.”

“Good. Then, we’ll take it one step at a time.” Ryujin wipes her own tears before shaking it off and smiling at you. “How about we order a bunch of food and drink like the old days, hm? Why don’t you stay over tonight?” You nod, knowing you can just borrow some of Ryujin’s clothes until tomorrow. Ryujin whips up a quick and easy snack for everyone to indulge in before San and Changbin decide to go head to head in Mortal Kombat, while you and Ryujin hang out in her room. It brings you back to the old days, the days when you didn’t have many worries, too much bullshit flooding your head, when the world didn’t feel like it was gonna swallow you whole. The both of you could comfortably sit or lie down in a comfortable silence, each doing your own thing within the same space. Right now, she’s definitely scrolling through aesthetic Youtube shorts next to you, watching people pack their lunches or their night-time routines in a quick second reel.

You, though?

You lie in Ryujin’s bed, constantly typing in Yeosang’s number and deleting it. You pull up his IG and look through his posts, surprised he still has pictures of you posted on there despite the mess you’ve buried him in. Your heart aches when you catch his caption from the most recent post, suddenly the need and want to be in Yeosang’s arms stronger than ever. It’s a picture of you tucked in between his legs while you both sat on the sand, overlooking the ocean. He holds you close, his chest pressed against your back as his arms hang over your shoulders. You remember that day so well— Mingi was out paddleboarding while Keeho and Jungkook were working at the restaurant. You’re laughing [probably at Mingi], while Yeosang is looking down at you with the biggest, brightest smile you’ve ever seen. He’s smiling but his lips are pressed right against the side of your head.

Caption: you.

It’s so simple, yet it says so much about Yeosang and what this means to him. You feel the guilt, the sadness, bubbling in your gut; forcing you to swallow the lump in your throat to somehow help bury the feelings—

“Y/N?”

“Hm?” You turn to Ryujin on her bed while the boys have moved ontoo another game in the living room, immediately closing out the instagram app on your phone.

“What was he like?” She smiles softly. “You know, your man from town.” You chuckle, knowing Ryujin hasn’t yet experienced a deep love but isn’t really in a rush to find it. You admire her, truly. She knows not to go looking in the wrong places and to just let it come when it comes. 

“He’s the most beautiful person I’ve met. He’s handsome. Charming. Always took care of me and put me first. He settled into town quick, people adored him. He was always helping out where he could. We kinda just.. fell in one piece together.”

“Was it good?”

“Ryu!”

“I’m just wondering!” You don’t respond and she immediately laughs. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Most importantly." You give her a look and she giggles. "He was always showing me how he felt. He wanted to make this work, and he was willing. He wanted to do everything for me and I just didn’t let him because I was scared.” Your voice tapers off.

❊ FLASHBACK

“Wouldn’t it be nice to see the stars up close? I wonder what it’s like to be in space.”

“I imagine it’s beautiful.” Yeosang says as he looks up at the sky with you as you both sit on the rooftop of your apartment complex.

“Yeosang.”

“Yeah?” His eyes are doe-eyed as he looks down at you with curiosity, wondering where your thoughts are right now. 

“I wish I could touch a star. Hold one in the palm of my hands.”

“I dunno if that’s possible, pretty girl.” He does a slight head tilt. “Can’t bag it ‘till we try it, right?” You look at him when he starts raising his hand to the sky, pretending to pluck away at the tiny dots in the night sky.

“What’re you doing?” You smile as you lay your head on his shoulder.

“I’m trying to grab you as many stars as possible.”

“Sangie.” You giggle as you watch him continue to pretend and pluck the stars from the sky, setting it aside next to you.

“You asked for the stars, so I’m delivering.”

“You’re the best.” You plant a kiss on his shoulder before resting your chin on his shoulder. He can’t help but smile at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before moving down to the tip of your nose.

“Only for you.” 

❊ END

“I don’t think you have to be, love. He sounds like a genuinely good person.”

“It’s just me.” She brushes your hair back and gives you a small smile.

“He’s here, yeah?” You nod. “When you’re ready, go find him and talk to him. I’m sure he’s out there looking for you and it doesn’t sound like he’s the type to give up.”

“I will.”

“Can I see a picture of him? I won’t do anything, promise.” You pull up a photo of Yeosang on your phone, one of him posing by the beach; the other, him holding you from behind while he presses a kiss to your temple. Ryujin’s eyes light up when she sees how genuinely happy you are in the photo, how much you glow. “He’s gorgeous, Y/N! What the fuck! Does he have friends?!”

“Yeah, he does. I just haven’t met them yet.”

“You two are perfect.” She chuckles as she looks at the picture once more before returning the phone to you. “Hey. Have you talked to your parents?”

“Nope. They don’t even know I’m here.”

“Will you?”

“When I’m ready.”

“What do you plan to do in the meantime?”

“I’ve applied to a couple of vets, the aquarium. Hopefully, I snag a job at the aquarium somehow. It’d be so fun.”

“I hope so, too.”

“I’m proud of you.” Your bestfriend says. “It hasn’t been easy, but look at you. Still going strong. Doing your thing. You’re doing your best.” She pinches your arm playfully. “But, I just want you to be happy. Stop running from the people that bring you happiness, okay? You deserve it. No matter what was said or done in the past.”

“Thank you.” You pull her into a hug and cling onto her for a good minute, taking in the comfort Ryujin brings to you.

The rest of the day goes as it usually does with San, Changbin and Ryujin. Despite the time away, being apart, everything felt completely normal; as if you picked up right where you left off. You take more time to catch up with them over some good eats before walking around the neighborhood and getting some air. You grab some groceries for tonight’s dinner, inviting Jeongin over after he runs some errands with his parents. You like the fact that your friends treat Jeongin like their own sibling, taking care of him well while you were away. He easily blends in as soon as he arrives, stepping into the kitchen to help prep for dinner. You all take the food out to Ryujin’s little porch, setting a fire for the boys to grill some meat. It’s a relaxing night; the weather isn’t too cold, but you definitely can still spot your breath in the air. Ryujin’s neighbors probably hate it when all of you are together because the moment the alcohol kicks in, you all start singing your favorite songs at the top of your lungs. Changbin suddenly flips the switch and wants to tell everyone scary stories he claims are true and some he even witnessed firsthand— not necessarily lessening the noise on the porch because of the back and forth bickering that occurs in between. You’re not really a fan of scary shit, obviously; hence, those movie nights with your friends from town, digging your face into Yeosang’s chest to avoid any contact with the movie. You pull out your phone and start pressing Yeosang’s number into the phone app to try and distract you, but you don’t press call. You just delete, and re-type. It almost feels like your safety blanket at this point.

You could call if you wanted to.

Initially, you had opted for blocking him, but eventually, you knew it’d catch up to you through your friends— Jungkook, Mina, Mingi, Keeho. So, you end up scrapping the plan to get a new phone, a new number entirely. Get rid of IG, any trace of social media. That way, they couldn’t find you. It’s kinda ironic, almost symbolic, how quick and painless it happens at first; almost like a sign that you were meant to start fresh and bring out a clean slate.

Innie, Ryujin and Jungkook’s numbers are the only other ones you memorize by heart. Innie and Ryujin because they’re the closest ones you’ve had throughout all these years, Jungkook because you can count on the times you’ve mustered up the courage to play hooky and call in sick. Or, to pick up his call when you were running late and he was wondering where you were at. That number came up on your screen way too often, but now, you’re kinda glad it turned out that way.

“I’ll be back. I need to make a call.” You tell your friends as you slip away and back into Ryujin’s living room. You dial the number and press the phone to your ear, only waiting 2 rings until Jungkook picks up along with the restaurant’s background noise.

“Hello?”

“Jungkook.”

“Y/N?” There’s a slight pause as you think about your response. “Y/N? Hello?” He repeats.

“Hey.” 

“Y/N, what the fuck.” Jungkook leaves the restaurant and heads to the back area where it’s a little quiet. “We’ve been worried about you. Where are you?”

“I’m fine, okay. I’m sorry. I.. broke my phone and needed to get a new one, so this is my new number.” You lie. You lie and you lie, hoping it’ll mask the pain somehow. Hoping people won’t question your decisions and the way you’ve been acting. Why you’ve been running, why you can’t just stay put and let yourself be happy.

“Why didn’t you call someone right away or text us before you left? What the hell is going on?”

“I just have to take care of some stuff at home. I’m sorry.” You repeat, and he sighs heavily. You can’t even see him, but you know he’s running his hand through his black hair. Placing that hand on his hip. Ready to scold you, but doesn’t because he knows you don’t need it right now. He can easily sense how stressed you are, how scared and sad you feel. He hopes you’re truly okay and hanging in there.

“Y/N, you know we would’ve helped you.” He pauses. “And Yeosang—”

“Jungkook, I need you to promise me you aren’t gonna tell anybody anything right now. Let Mingi, Mina and Keeho know I’m okay and that everything’s fine. I’ll talk to them soon, but please. Please don’t say anything else, and please don’t tell Yeosang.” You beg and he sighs.

“Why are you doing this? He came by not too long ago and it’s heartbreaking, dude. I’ve never seen anyone so defeated over something.”

“I’ll— I’ll talk to him soon, Jeon Jungkook, promise me. For real. If we’re friends, you’ll—”

“Okay, okay. I’ll only promise if you promise to talk to him soon, too. Or else, I can’t guarantee I’ll keep this from him forever. He just wants to see you and talk to you, Y/N. He cares about you, and he misses you like crazy. Don’t let him slip away.” 

“I know.”

“I’m glad you called.” Jungkook adds. “We miss you.”

“I miss you guys, too.” You bite onto your bottom lip to prevent your tears from flowing. “Thank you, Kook.”

“Course. You sure you’re okay? You’re safe, got a place and everything?”

“I am. I promise you.”

“Alright. Call me if you need me. For anything.”

“I will. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. Stay safe.” Jungkook ends the call and looks at his phone in some sort of disbelief. He’s relieved he finally heard from you, he knew he would. It was just a matter of time, and it didn’t help that Keeho was constantly on his ass about finding out where you were. He tucks his phone into his pocket just as he walks back into the restaurant, only to be greeted by Keeho himself.

“Where’d you go? Some impatient ass people were asking about their food—” Keeho furrows his brows while taking a better look at him. “What’s wrong, why do you look like that?”

“Like what?”

“Iono, like you saw a fucking ghost or something.” Keeho licks his lips. “Is it Y/N?” Jungkook doesn’t say anything as he continues to wash his hands and finish setting up the plates for said table [who is complaining]. “Yo, Jungkook. What is it? Is she okay? If she’s hurt—”

“She’s not.” Jungkook looks at him and slides over the plates. “She’s fine. She just called me to tell me she was okay.”

“Okay, so why didn’t you call me and Mingi over? We wanna talk to her, too.”

“It’s not that, Keeho. I’m sorry, I know you guys want to, but I don’t think she’s ready yet. I truthfully don’t even think she was ready to call me either.” Jungkook looks at him. “She said she’ll talk to you guys soon but she’s safe and she’s fine.” Keeho lets out a heavy sigh before shaking his head and taking the plates.

“Alright, fine. I’m glad she’s okay.”

“Yeah, I am, too.”

“Assuming she hasn’t talked to Yeosang?”

“No, but don’t say anything to him. Let her handle this.” Keeho shrugs.

“Alright, alright.” Jungkook sighs. At the end of the call, all you can do is stare at your phone for a bit before you toss it aside and start crying into your hands. You missed your friends. Your life back in town. You missed Yeosang so, so much. But so much of your insecurities took over, you felt like you didn’t have a choice but to run from them.

What if you would never be good enough for him? How did you deserve someone like Kang Yeosang?

“So, yeah. It’s next week already.” You hear Jeongin say as you finally gather yourself and walk back outside, patting away at your face with the sleeve of your sweater. Jeongin looks over at and senses how your mood has changed. He can see you quickly patting away and wiping at your face while you tuck your phone into your pocket. You sit and tuck your knees close to your chest, and it’s so obvious you had just been crying. He won’t point it out, though. Tonight has already been going well and he’d hate to ruin that.

“Do you have a date or something?” San asks.

“No? I’m just going to go!”

“You’re not seeing anyone?” Jeongin shakes his head shyly.

“No.”

“Aw, baby bread is shy. You like someone at work, don’t you?”

“I don’t! I’ve barely been there for a month!” You giggle, watching as he roasts a marshmallow over the fire to make himself some smores.

“You sure?” You gently nudge him and he smiles.

“I just think there’s someone really pretty, but she’s probably already taken.”

“You never know.” You look at him. “Can I see a picture?”

“I have like.. a group photo we took at the company. We needed to take a new one for the website and I guess.. social media purposes.” He pulls up his phone and shows you the photo. He zooms into her face and lets you take a good look, biting onto his bottom lip when he hears you giggle a little louder.

“She’s very cute. You don’t have her instagram or anything yet?”

“Not yet. We’re not that close yet. But, planning to slowly get to know her more.”

“The party will be a good way to do so.” You zoom out of the picture, eyes quickly scanning the company photo when they land on a very, very familiar face.

In that group photo is Kang Yeosang.

Suddenly, you feel nervous. Sick, all over again. Almost like your cousin can read your thoughts as they quickly pan through your head right at this moment. You don’t know if it’s a good thing that Jeongin works at the same place as him; but, at the same time, you probably should’ve known there was a chance this could’ve happened.

“What? Are you eyeing the guys at the company?”

“No.” You shake your head and give him a tiny smile. “Was just looking at how big the group is. Enjoy yourself at the party, okay? It’ll be fun.”

“Thanks.” Jeongin says, taking his phone back. The crazy thing about Jeongin is that he can already tell there was more to it than you just ‘looking at how big the group is.’ He caught how fast your smile faded and how you shifted in your seat, body suddenly more tense than it was earlier. He looks at the photo one more time when you aren’t looking to see if anything seemed off, but he can’t tell. He just knows someone caught your eye and you won’t be willing to share that information soon.

What if someone in there was the visitor? Chances were low but never zero, right? 

As the hours go on, Jeongin heads home a little closer to midnight, while San and Changbin wash the dishes in the kitchen before sleeping on the couch or floor. You and Ryujin lay in her bed again, talking about different things that have come up for her over the years. You’re surprised not much has changed, but Ryujin’s the type to go with the flow— take life as it comes. She falls asleep quickly after she listens to you tell her more stories from town, the people you’ve grown close to, the little things you’d do spending your days off. When she falls asleep, you find yourself pulling up all your pictures and videos again. You turn to your side and face the wall, finding a few tears streaming down your cheek when you revisit old memories.

❊ FLASHBACK

“Y/N!” You continue to run until you feel Yeosang’s arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back against him. You let out a loud squeal when he holds you tightly, refusing to let go. “Can’t go anywhere now, hm?”

“Oh, no.” You pretend to be scared. “Guess not.” You turn in his grip and face him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“You’re such a brat.” You laugh, Yeosang’s warm hand coming up your sweater and rubbing against your bare back.

“But you love this brat, don’t you?” He lets out a small chuckle but doesn’t verbally respond. Instead, he dips forward to kiss you on the lips, keeping his movements slow and steady— hoping it’s enough to show you that he does love you. He hadn’t said it out loud at this point, but he does. Yeosang loves you. His hands roam up your sides, gently squeezing as they slowly continue to climb up your sweater. You smile against the kiss, your fingers getting tangled in the ends of his hair.

“Ya’ll please, get a room.” Keeho yells from behind. You break the kiss with a tiny laugh, flipping Keeho off from behind. 

❊ END

You feel your bottom lip trembling, more tears threatening to spill when you replay those memories in your head like a film strip. You pull up the phone app again, fingers wanting to dial Yeosang’s number just like they’ve been trying to these past days.

Because you wanna hear his voice.

Tell him you’re sorry.

But, you prevent yourself from doing anything further. Not until you know you’re fully ready to see him and explain everything. Tonight, you’ll continue to stick with your memories, stigck with Yeosang’s voice in your head because this seems to be the safest place.

This is where things are good. This is where things aren’t ruined.

For now.

Time seems to be moving equally slow and quick.

Yeosang isn’t really sure what’s worse, but all he knows is that it’s been a couple of weeks since you two were supposed to meet. Now,  it’s time for the work party and he’s having to face it alone. It’s one that he wanted you to be his date for. One that he’s not even in the mood to participate in but his friends are all going and so should he.

So yeah, maybe not alone; But, it sure as hell feels like it when you’re not with him.

He lets out a sigh when he finally goes into the store and tries to find a new pair of slacks and a button up shirt to wear tonight. He’s not even sure what color he’s going for— maybe an all-black fit? He’d typically ask for your opinion by now if you hadn’t already told him what colors you wanted to wear. He hates this, truly hates this.

He walks [mopes] around the store, lazily picking up a grey button up shirt and a black button up. He’s not sure which one he’ll go with yet, and he’s not in the mood to try them on. He carries them around as he continues to walk around the store, looking at other items he could possibly buy. He likes the moment of peace he has right now shopping alone, though he wishes he had specific company. He tries to bury the idea in the back of his head so he can get through today in one piece, but he already feels the struggle piling within him.

It’ll be a long, long day.

After an hour or so, Yeosang finally steps out of the store with a bag in hand after taking his time with the retail therapy. He bought some new outfits— one, of course, for the party that’s happening tonight, and the other, still with you in mind; hoping one day he could wear them and impress you all over again. He sighs to himself as he looks down at his phone, seeing a few notifications from his group chat. He tucks his phone into his pocket and looks out at the busy sidewalk, doing a double-take to his right when he feels like he’s caught a glimpse of the back of your head. 

It can’t be you, can it?

Is the universe finally on his side for once?

Yeosang feels his heart drop to the pit of his stomach as he rushes through the crowd, quietly spitting out small apologies and ‘excuse me’s’ while weaving through the waves of people. 

“Y/N.” He feels like he loses you for a quick moment until he lands sight of you again. He reaches the end of the sidewalk and catches up. The moment his hand falls on the shoulder, he feels like he has finally reached the end of this maze, the final boss of this game. He has hope, a sense of victory, and he can’t wait to see your face—

“Excuse me?” 

It’s not you. It’s definitely not you. He could’ve sworn it was, though. And his heart shatters all over again. He’s not sure how much more of a beating it can take; repeatedly trying to piece his heart back together just to have it shatter to pieces.

Being repeatedly stomped on over, and over, and over again.

“I-I’m sorry.” Yeosang says, ripping his hand away from her shoulder. She gives him a confused look before she puts her headphones back in and walks across the street, creating the most distance between herself and him. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, licking his lips as he turns down the street and heads back towards his car. 

“Fuck.” You mutter to yourself as you power down a random alley just to get away from the crowd, away from Yeosang—

“Oh my god, where did you even come from?” San asks when you run into his chest as he and Changbin are coming out of another store. “Where’s Ryujin?”

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Changbin looks at you when he sees you trying to catch your breath, eyes incredibly alert of your surroundings.

“Babe, I lost you for a second! Why did you run off like that?!” Ryujin says, bags in hand as she approaches the group. “What happened?”

“Nothing, I just— I’m sorry.” You look at her and shake her head. “I thought I saw someone.”

“Him?” She brushes the hair away from your face when she gets closer, her tiny acts of affection enough to calm you down.

“Mhm.” You barely respond above a whisper. “I’m— I can’t run into him like this.”

“That’s alright.” San looks around. “It’s clear now, right? Let’s go get something to eat up this way.” You nod, letting Changbin and San lead the way while Ryujin continues to stick by your side. She rubs at your arm to try and keep you calm, reassuring you that Yeosang is probably long gone and down the other street.

Which, he is. Doesn’t mean he has stopped thinking about the run-in, though. Yeosang knows that it was you. He knows everything about you, every inch of your body, the way you walk— he knows you probably better than you know yourself. He wishes he caught you sooner because he knows his eyes aren’t deceiving him. He knows, he knows, he knows.

And it’ll be his fucking downfall for the rest of the day. There goes his mood for the party.

“Yeah?” Yeosang picks up Wooyoung’s call through the car’s bluetooth.

“Where are you?”

“Heading back home from running some errands.”

“Can I slide through? Jongho and Chaerin said they were just gonna meet us at the party tonight.”

“Yeah. I’ll be home in about 10 minutes.”

“Alright.” With that, Yeosang ends the call. He has music softly playing in the background just to fill the white noise, but quite frankly, the ride feels a lot quieter than it actually is. Yeosang doesn’t even wanna go tonight, not anymore. He just feels like laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, processing the feeling of having you in his hands just to slip away. Again.

When Yeosang gets home, he lets the front door shut louder than usual— the impact rattling his cabinets, shaking his walls. He sets his things aside, kicks his shoes off to the side and plops onto the couch. He lets his head hang back, shutting his eyes as he lets out a heavy sigh. The peace lasts for all of 2 seconds before Wooyoung comes barreling in, creating his own kind of chaos to make his presence known in the apartment.

“Yoohoo!” He whistles as he drops his things on top of Yeosang’s coffee table. “Did you just buy an outfit for tonight?” Wooyoung digs through Yeosang’s shopping bags.

“Maybe.”

“Biggest fucking procrastinator.” Wooyoung furrows his brows.

“I told you I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go.” Yeosang throws a ‘lil attitude in his response, mainly just irked at how his day went. 

“Okay, sorry. Just jokes. What’s wrong?” 

“I thought I saw her.” Yeosang opens his eyes and shakes his head, eyes still fixed on the ceiling above him. “Pretty sure it was her, but—” He looks flustered and Wooyoung isn’t even sure how to help him right now. All he can do is just stand and wait for Yeosang to continue. “Nevermind. I just thought I saw her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s good. Maybe this shit isn’t really meant to be, huh?” Yeosang sits up and looks at him, but Wooyoung just shrugs in response.

“I can’t say. I don’t wanna say no, but I don’t wanna say yes either because time keeps going on and she’s still not giving you anything. There aren’t any signs for you to work with and I’m not sure what else I can do or say to help. Maybe it’s time you put it to rest and let the world handle everything else. Stop controlling the shit you can’t control.”

“I guess.”

“Listen.” Wooyoung stands. “The party is tonight. I know you don’t wanna go, but our friends are gonna be there. It’ll be one night where you can let everything go and just enjoy yourself. That’s all I ask from you.” Yeosang turns to look at him and gives him a slow, tiny nod before getting up.

“Yeah, alright.”

“Good. Now, show me what you bought.” Wooyoung stands with his hands on his hips, waiting for Yeosang to try on the items he bought for tonight in particular. In the end, Yeosang ends up going with a simple all-black fit with a button-up halfway done. He has a silver watch on his wrist, silver chain sitting nicely around his neck. Him and Wooyoung take a few shots of some nasty ass whiskey that Wooyoung left at his place months ago before heading out to the venue. It’s deep downtown, a huge convention center with a couple of different rooms to accommodate all sorts of events. The music is already booming, and the place is filled with familiar faces. Yeosang does appreciate it because it’s the one time people can let loose and be a little more casual outside of the work setting. 

He just wishes you were here with him.

Wooyoung is quick to socialize and drag Yeosang around to more shots, more champagne, more of everything that Yeo typically doesn’t really enjoy. But, he’ll indulge because what else does he have to lose tonight? The alcohol surely helps loosen him up, and it does help him get his mind off of things temporarily. It’s a nice feeling, and it almost feels foreign with how much his thoughts have been consumed by you these past weeks.

Jongho and Chaerin finally make it to the venue and casually join along to Wooyoung’s shenanigans, and the room feels 10x hotter than it was earlier with more people piling in with their plus one’s and other guests. There’s a little speech prepared by the CEO and leadership team, a congratulatory celebration per say for the goals already achieved at this point in the year. Jeongin is off to the corner with his friends, also feeling somewhat suffocated with how crowded the room feels after being here for just about an hour and a half. But, he tries to remember there’s a first for everything and tonight, he’ll enjoy himself. Get to know the cutie he’s been eyeing and see where it takes him. It’s a good start to the night all around. Both of them won’t complain. Yeosang will step out for a second though because it does get to be a little much when the music becomes more aggressive, the crowd is jumping around— people are drunk-drunk. As with all good nights, they also call for a break.

When he steps outside, he situates himself by the railing and looks out at the view of the city, the river ahead. It feels peaceful, especially with the way the wind is hitting him and providing temporary relief. 

“It’s so pretty tonight.” Chaerin surprises him when she comes to his side and rests her hands on the rail.

“Yeah, it is.”

“You okay?”

“Mm, yeah. Crowd was just getting to be a little much. Had to step away for a second.”

“I feel you. Wooyoung is starting a mosh pit in the middle of the floor.” Yeosang rolls his eyes.

“Course.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“What makes you ask?”

“I dunno. Everything going on.” She fiddles with her thumbs before looking back out at the view.

“I guess. Trying to be, at least.”

“Still haven’t heard from her?”

“Nah.” Yeosang shakes his head and his smile drops a bit. “I’m not sure if I will at this point. I just— I don’t know. I don’t know where she’s at or why she's hiding from me. I don’t know where things went wrong.” Yeosang sighs, leaning over against the rail as Chaerin stands next to him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to go on.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry it’s been hard.”

“Don’t be. I’ll figure it out like I’ve always done.” He playfully pinches her cheeks and she giggles.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Hard to feel that way, really.” He lets out a pathetic chuckle as they both continue to look at the view.

“Well, for what it’s worth, she’s missing out. She doesn’t know how good she has it with you.” Yeosang looks at Chaerin, locking eyes with her as she gives him a small smile before subtly licking her lips. The look holds a lot more than she lets on, but Yeosang doesn’t break away from it. He’s caught off guard by what she does next and it doesn’t register for him right away when it happens. She tippy-toes and presses her lips against his, and Yeo indulges in the kiss for a good couple of seconds before abruptly breaking away and finally creating distance. He looks at Chaerin, and all she can do is shy away— placing her hand over her mouth as she avoids eye contact.

“Chaerin, I’m sorry, I—” He sighs. “We can’t—I can’t.”

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles and Yeosang feels his heart break for her because he can’t reciprocate. His heart lies with someone else, despite the bullshit that’s been happening. It’ll always be you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you any mixed signals.”

“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have. Sorry.” She repeats before she’s rushing off back into the main room of the party.

“Chaerin!” Yeosang calls for her before releasing a groan. “Fuck.” He runs his hand through his hair before walking back inside, trying to keep his composure. He runs into Jongho first, and he can’t help but try and read his body language to see if he knows anything already. But, he doesn’t. Thank god for that.

“Have you seen Chae?”

“No, why? Wasn’t she with you?” Yeosang sighs. “What’s wrong, dude?”

“I— we kissed. I just need to talk to her.”

“You did what?!”

“It was an accident.” Yeosang looks at Jongho before he sees Chaerin leave the women’s bathroom from over his shoulder. “There she is.” He says before brushing past Jongho quickly, catching up to Chaerin just as she tries to dip out of the main room and down the steps to the lobby.

“Wait, wait.” Yeosang chases after her and gently tugs on her wrist. “Chae, let’s talk.”

“Yeo, it’s fine. We don’t need to talk about anything.”

“Yes, we do. You’re still one of my bestfriends, I don’t want this to ruin our relationship—”

“It won’t, it’s fine.” She says, even though deep down, Yeosang knows it’s not. But, what can he say? What can he do? He literally can’t move on from you and that’s unfair to her.

“Chaerin.” He looks at her as they stay paused on the steps, people passing back and forth going from outside back into the party and vice versa.

“Yeosang. I’m serious. It’s fine. I don’t know what go into me, it’s my mistake. We can just act like this never happened. I get it, all is fine.” She repeats.

“I’m sorry.” He’s not sure what he’s sorry for. Maybe for giving her false hope? He didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, he thinks. He’s certainly not sorry about you despite the rough circumstances. It will always be you.

God, today was so fucked up.

“Me too.” Is all she says. He knows this will definitely change things from here on out, but he’s hoping over time, they can continue to be the way they used to be. She lays a reassuring hand on his arm before giving it a gentle squeeze, wanting to move past this just for tonight. Chaerin’s already embarrassed by her actions enough, she doesn’t wanna dwell on it any further. Fuck.

“Excuse me—” Jeongin says, absentmindedly brushing past Yeosang and Chaerin on the steps since he’s more concerned about getting past the crowd in one piece.

“Sorry.” Yeosang steps aside and grabs Chaerin’s hand. “Come on, come back inside with me, please?” She nods, following Yeosang’s lead back into the main room. They find Wooyoung and Jongho at the bar, and Jongho gives him a look that asks if everything is okay. Yeosang simply gives him a tiny, toothless smile, allowing Wooyoung to order more drinks for them to keep the night alive.

Another drink turns into a couple. Yeosang always finds himself drinking more than usual around Wooyoung and Jongho, trying to keep up with their antics. Most of the time, he can. Tonight though, he knows he’s overdoing it and should’ve stopped a whole three drinks ago. He’s dancing away on the dance floor with his friends, Chaerin in and out of the group to hang out with her other friends from another department; most likely her way of trying to distract herself and distance herself from Yeosang tonight. He can’t help but look for her in the crowd every now and then, hoping she’s okay. Other times, he finds himself dancing along with other people from the company, mixing along with the crowd as it continues to mesh into one huge crowd the more people pile into the room. Yeosang eventually has to find the guys again, finding that they’ve separated into different corners of the room. He finds Wooyoung first, bobbing and weaving through people in order to get to his bestfriend when he realizes it’s time for another break. Bathroom break, especially.

“Yo, I’m gonna head to the bathroom.” Yeo lets Wooyoung know before struggling to move past the rest of the crowd and into the bathroom. Thankfully, he makes it in time to break the seal and splash a little water on his face— cheeks flushed, palms sweaty. He’s drunk, and for a minute, he was enjoying himself. Now, he’s drunk and he’s missing you. He splashes a bit more water on his face before he’s dabbing a paper towel across it and tossing the crumpled napkin into the trash. He takes a detour and heads down the steps to get some fresh air, feeling slightly suffocated from the packed room, the loud ass music. His thoughts of you. 

The cold air feels amazing against his skin, and it’s helping him feel a little more grounded than he felt a few moments ago. He pulls out his phone and sees a missed call from an unknown number, and for some reason, he feels like he’s gotten punched in the gut. And truthfully, you didn’t mean to press call. You did not mean for that call to go through whatsoever. Your phone had slipped and almost hit you in the face while you laid on your bed, thumbs pressing all sorts of shit just to keep it stable in your hands again. Next thing you knew, the call was going through. You ended the call as quickly as possible, but you knew it was too late. Yeo would’ve seen it by that point. He knows, he knows, he knows.

The first thing Yeo does is press the number and call you back. You gasp when you see his number appear on your screen, heart damn near beating out of your chest when you hit accept— pressing the phone to your ear even though you say nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“Y/N?” You hear Yeosang’s voice on the other line. You place a hand over your mouth when you feel the tears already building on your bottom lid, unsure of why you even picked up in the first place when you knew it’d lead you right where you’re at now. “Y/N, I know it’s you.” He sighs. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but I need you to talk to me at some point. I’m still waiting for you.” Silence. Yeosang is drunk, and his emotions are getting the best of him, especially when he follows up with: “Y/N, baby.” You quickly end the call and sit up, your cries completely washing over your entire body. You cry and cry into your hands, cursing yourself for letting this shit happen. Why did you have to make it so complicated? Why couldn’t you just tell him you missed him right then and there? Why couldn’t you just say anything?

Yeosang pulls the phone away and looks at the home screen, navigating back to your new number on his call log. He presses the phone to his ear as he paces near the venue entrance, hoping you’ll pick up again. It rings before the call is denied and sent to voicemail. He calls again, and it goes to voicemail. Again, then voicemail.

“Y/N.” He groans under his breath. “Fuck.” Now, all Yeo wants to do is go home. All he’s set on is going home. Fuck this. Fuck the party, fuck everything that happened tonight. He can’t even come home to you, and that’s what’s fucking him up completely.

“About time?! What happened to you, did you yack?” Wooyoung looks at Yeo in the eyes, trying to find any signs of an apparent struggle. Yeo shakes his head to confirm it wasn’t that, nor does he explain himself further.

“I’m about to head home.”

“Already?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me come with—” Wooyoung can tell something isn’t right, and he wants to be there for his bestfriend.

“No. Just stay. Promise I’m all good, it’s really not that big of a deal. I’m just tired.”

“Uh, alright then. Text me when you get home. Don’t forget.”

“Got you.” Yeosang gives him the usual dap before he’s saying his goodbye to Jongho. He tries to search the room for Chaerin, but can’t find her— ultimately opting to see her next week at work and give her space tonight. He darts back down the steps and hops into the next taxi that becomes available on the street.

Thank god it isn’t a far drive, or else, he’d hate to sit in this akward taxi drive in complete silence. Just him and his loud ass thoughts, actually. He contemplates on dialing your number again, but with the three attempts and no return calls coming his way, it’s obvious you mistakenly called him. The call didn’t mean anything, he didn’t mean anything. You wanted nothing to do with him and who is he to fight that? Who is he to force you to feel a certain way?

Oh, if he only knew what truly went on in your head.

Yeosang thanks the driver and gives him a hefty tip in cash, specifically for letting him take a quiet ride home— giving him the opportunity to ponder on what his next move with you is going to be. That entire time, he comes up with nothing. He will absolutely do nothing. He will do nothing because now that he’s tried to tell you where he was at in all of this, now that he’s reminded you that he’s still here— he needs to know if you’re still here, too. He needs to know if you still need to talk to him, still want him, still want to kiss and hold him like he does. He needs to know, and the only way he’ll get the proper answer is by letting you make the next move. Letting you take initiative. He shouldn’t have to. He wasn’t the one that ran away.

He still hates everything, though. It’s easy to stay mad and be mad that you don’t even realize how much energy is draining from you thinking about the current situation and all its different avenues, it feels frustrating. It’s annoyingly frustrating, and so far, it feels like none of the avenues lead him back to you. 

So, he needs to know. From you directly. 

He takes a quick shower and hops into bed, still staring at his call log. He doesn’t do anything besides stare at it because any other way doesn’t feel safe enough for him. He hopes after this, the universe can send him another sign that’ll show him the way to you, how to get back with you, things to fix on himself before he comes and tries to sweep you off your feet again. He’s still determined to be that guy for you, if you’d let him. He’s just not sure what this means for you, and it makes him sad. 

He needs you to let him know. Soon.

You stare at the three missed calls on your phone from Yeosang. The last one has a voicemail he probably didn’t intend to leave because you hear him groan your name in frustration before it cuts off. You replay the message once more before you toss your phone to the side and start getting ready to take a small walk around the neighborhood, grab some coffee and a pastry from a nearby café. The fresh air will do you good, and it will help put you in the right place mentally before your interviews coming up. You were able to lock in three interviews; one at a small, private vet, one at a bigger veterinary hospital downtown and one at the aquarium. Either way, you were excited to finally get started on your dream, your own path. You’d take whatever route life paved for you because at the end of it, it’ll only lead you to more doors, more opportunities. 

While sitting at the café, you snap a few pictures of the interior and how pretty it is. You also snap a few pictures of the alleyway and a few passerbyers, wondering what each person’s story is like. If Yeosang were here, you’re sure he’d make you pose in the middle of the alley, or snap random photos of you while sitting in front of him. The thought makes you smile a bit, causing you to shift in your seat. You rest your chin on the palm of your hand, wondering how you could break the ice and finally talk to Yeosang about everything because it’s something that’s constantly on your mind despite all the running and the empty calls. Each day that passes makes you more and more ready to face him, to tell him the truth. It has taken baby steps, but you know you’ll make it to the end. You know you’ll face him regardless of how hard it’ll get, you know you’ll apologize and tell him how much you still love him regardless of how he takes it. And then after all is said and done, maybe that’ll be it for the two of you. You hope not, but what if? 

What if that’s where the story ends?

You end up walking into a few stores after sitting in the café, treating yourself to a few new pieces of clothes you could wear to the interview. It feels nice to do a little more retail therapy, your me-time turning into something you desperately needed without even realizing. You head home with a smile on your face, satisfied with the purchases you’ve made. You try on different outfits when you get home, tossing your clothes all over the place once you’re satisfied with some of the combinations you’ve tried on.

“Ayo! Got you some food.” Jeongin yells while walking into your place. 

“Oh, shoot! Time already?” You look at the clock before shooting him a smile. “Thanks, Innie.” You watch him pop off his shoes before rearranging your clothes in your closet. “I’ll be there in a second, just cleaning and getting my stuff together.” Jeongin puts the bag of food down on the table, taking a seat while he patiently waits. He texts his friends back before looking around on the table, eyeing the random papers and pictures sitting off to the side. He grabs at the photos out of curiosity, flipping through them and not thinking much of it. “Ugh, where is it!” He hears you suddenly groan as you continue to sort through your stuff, head deep in your closet this time.

“What is it?”

“My license and passport.”

“Where did you last put it?” He asks as he goes through the fun, candid pictures of you and your friends from town. 

“In my other purse, but it’s not here.” A small smile is painted on his face as he sees how happy you are with everyone. But then, he finds himself stopping when he sees pictures of you and the visitor. His forehead crinkles because he knows this man. He’s seen—  “I found it!” You say with a squeal, tucking your ID and passport into your usual day-to-day bag. You don’t hear anything from Jeongin, so you turn to face him and realize he’s going through the pictures you left on the table. You slowly approach him and notice the photo he’s fixed on, your first instinct to snatch them out of his hands and store it back into the nightstand drawer. “Oops, sorry. I didn’t mean to leave these here.”

“Oh, no biggie.” He watches as you continue to fix the photos and papers back into your nightstand drawer, avoiding eye contact with him. “A-are those your friends, Y/N?” You hear him ask as you stop on one of the pictures of you and Yeosang.

“Yeah.” You nod, throat feeling like it’s closing in on you. “Those are my friends.”

“Is that him?” Silence. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” You shut the drawer before letting out a breath and keeping your composure. “Anyway, what’d you bring?” You smile at him and sit in front of him. “I wanna hear all about the dance.” Jeongin looks at you with concern when you quickly change the subject, unpacking the bag and laying out the food on the surface of the table. “Yum! Bulgogi!”

“Uh, it was good!” He manages to spit out, trying to keep up with the conversation even though his mind is stuck on that picture. You grab a few small plates and utensils, placing it in front of Jeongin and your own seat at the table. 

“Did you get to dance with her?”

“Oh my god.” Jeongin says, shaking his head as he begins to pick at the side dishes first. “That definitely wasn’t the vibe last night.”

“What do you mean, it was a party, no?”

“It was. There was an open bar and appetizers. There was a dance floor and everything, but like, you know. Everyone kept it PG and professional even though it was crowded as hell. Music was good, too!”

“I mean, you can dance with her professionally and stuff.” You smirk.

“We did, with our other coworkers.”

“Did you get to talk and get to know her a bit more?” He nods.

“I did. She’s really cute.” He lets out a small laugh.

“Aw, yay!”

“I had fun. It was cool for a work party.”

“What time did you get home?”

“Hm, a bit past 2am. It ended at 11, then we all went out to eat. Karaoke. Then, that was about it.”

“That sounds fun, Innie. Glad you enjoyed yourself.”

“What’d you do last night and earlier today?”

“I hung out with Ryu. She actually came over and we watched movies over some ice cream. Earlier, I just took a walk and sat at a café for a bit before doing some shopping. Tried to get myself into a good space for the interviews coming up.”

“Oh, yeah! When is that? Next week?” You nod.

“Yup.”

“You got this! You’ll get all of them, no doubt. Just a matter of what you’ll wanna do in the end.”

“Thanks, Innie.”

“Have you talked to your friends from town?” He suddenly asks and you shrug.

“I talked to one of them, but I haven’t talked to the others yet. I will, once I’ve gotten these interviews done with.”

“Hm.” He hums. “That’s good, at least you talked to one of them. I just didn’t want them to worry about you.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m going to talk to the rest of them, don’t worry.”

“Mmkay.” Jeongin forces himself to stop asking questions, especially about the other pictures. He can tell you’re getting affected with the way you’re slowly shutting down and avoiding contact again. Sentences are cut short. You’re almost mumbling your words.

He’ll take it as a sign to stop pressing further, especially because he wants you to be okay for your interviews coming up.

The rest of the late lunch goes by without more digging from Jeongin’s end. He decides to talk more about the party and about his coworkers. He tells you how he gets along with his team members, and how patient his seniors are with him. He appreciates it and he hopes he can be offered a permanent position there. If not, he hopes he can find another company with similar vibes: great values, easy going and patient team members, yet incredibly smart and good at what they do. He’s been learning a lot and it’s easy to tell that Jeongin has been enjoying his time there. Then, he touches up on the topic of his parents and how they had been questioning why he had been going out so much lately. You reassure him and tell him that you plan to talk to your parents, assuming all goes well with your interviews. This time though, you plan to work through it slowly, keep your distance if they aren’t being receptive. Just for your own sake. They’re your parents and you know one day you’ll be able to fully forgive them for the things they’ve said and done— but since they’re your parents, you know you’ll always love them even if it has to be from afar.

This time, you plan to keep doing things for you.

After spending a good couple of hours together, Jeongin calls it a day and leaves to rest for the remainder of the day. He tugs his hood over his head and clings onto his shoulder bag, making his way back home from your place. He’s confused, and he’s honestly in a bit of shock still. Jeongin can’t get the picture out of his head. It’s mindblowing how pieces to the puzzle just fall onto his lap, and now, he feels like he can be of better help to you. Even though you were quick to snatch the photo away, Innie was able to get a good look at it. He knows who that guy is. He knows exactly where he’s seen him, and it’s crazy that the answer has been right in front of him this entire time.

❊ FLASHBACK

The first day Yeosang steps back into the office, he’s greeted by a couple of people that are happy to have him back. Everyone compliments on the glow he’s sporting and how happy and refreshed he seems to be. He can’t help but shyly laugh about it, a red tint coloring his cheeks when he tells them he’s had a good time and that he might’ve met someone really special there. He sets his things down onto his desk, fixing up a few things before he heads towards the kitchen with his mug in hand. There are a few interns sitting in one of the main conference rooms, and Yeosang is able to get a good look at them on his way to the kitchen. They all look fairly young, as if they had just graduated. One sits at the far corner in a loose grey button up shirt tucked into his slacks, black frames sitting on his face. He gives Yeosang a tight-lipped smile when they accidentally make contact, making Yeosang give him a curt nod in response. 

“Hella interns.” Wooyoung throws his arm around Yeosang as they continue to walk to the kitchen. 

“Do we have one?”

“No. I think most of them are in R&D. Operations. A select few in marketing and media.”

❊ END

When Jeongin wakes up on Monday morning, he makes it a goal to get to work a little earlier so he can prepare and step in to be some kind of hero— how he’s gonna pull it off, he’s not sure. He fixes a few things at his cubicle before he heads back upstairs to the main kitchen, where the coffee maker is always stocked and running. To his surprise, Yeosang is already there, waiting for his cup to be filled. Jeongin slowly treads into the kitchen, the feeling in his gut about Yeosang being confirmed when he sees his phone face down on the counter next to the coffee machine.

Sitting on the back is a polaroid of you, smiling happily and posing near the water.

“Uh, hi.” Jeongin steps a little closer, nervously swallowing the lump in his throat. It’s just the fact that Yeosang was his senior that he already felt intimidated but he knew he needed to speak up before it was too late. 

“Goodmorning?” Yeosang cocks a brow up. He’s familiar with the intern, and he doesn’t mean to come off as rude or anything. He’s just not sure what he needs from him. Can’t wait to get his coffee? Unsure how to work the coffee machine? They end up in an awkward staring competition until Jeongin clears his throat.

“Sorry. I’m Jeongin.” He holds out his hand for Yeosang to shake, and he takes it.

“Yeosang.” 

“I— this might sound really weird, but I know the girl on your phone.” He pauses. “She’s my cousin. I dunno if she ever told you my name, but we’ve spoken on the phone a few times while you were there. She calls me Innie.” Yeosang furrows his brows as he slowly removes his cup from the coffee machine and grabs his phone, eyes glued onto Jeongin. He can tell Jeongin feels bad for him, almost like he pities him. He feels like everyone pities him at this point. Shit is sad. But, before he can deny anything about you, Jeongin follows up with a: “I know where she is and I wanna help.” Yeosang almost drops his cup of coffee. This can’t be real.

“I appreciate it, but it’s pretty clear your cousin doesn’t want anything to do with me.” Jeongin shakes his head.

“It’s not that, it’s—” He sighs. “It’s just that she’s been through alot and she’s scared. I can explain. I know it probably doesn’t hold much weight coming from me and not her directly, but at least it’s a start.” Jeongin looks at him. “I just wanna help. I know she’s been waiting for the right moment to talk to you, but I’ve also caught her crying one too many times over this. I think it’s about time.” Yeosang turns to him, cup of coffee still in his hand. It’s crazy how much Jeongin reminds him of you already, he should’ve known there was something about him when he first saw him.— that something being you.

“What time do you usually take lunch?” Jeongin shrugs.

“Whenever.”

“Wanna meet me in the cafeteria at 12:30? We can talk more about it then.” Yeosang says just as he hears Wooyoung, Jongho and Chaerin making their way to the kitchen.

“Okay. See you later.”

“You’re alive, you piece of shit. I told you to text me when you got home and you didn’t even try to text me all weekend.” Wooyoung scolds Yeosang before shifting his attention to Jeongin. “Hello intern!”

“Hi.” Jeongin gives them all a small smile and a curt nod before grabbing his own cup of coffee and rushing out of the room.

“I forgot, sorry.” Yeo responds to Woo. “I was out of it.”

“Tell me about it.”

“What were you and the intern talking about?” Jongho asks, popping his mug under the coffee machine. “Did he not know how to work the coffee machine?”

“Uh, no.” Yeosang traces the rim of his cup while his friends rummage around the kitchen. “That was Y/N’s cousin.” Wooyoung chokes on his americano.

“The fuck did you just say?”

“That was her cousin.” Yeosang repeats.

“So, what happened?”

“He said he knew where she was.” Yeosang shrugs. “I’m gonna talk to him at lunch.”

“Bro, you’ll finally find her!” Jongho smiles, but all he can do is shake his head in response.

“Doesn’t mean she wants to see me.”

“Why wouldn’t she? I’m sure she wants to explain everything.” 

“Why hasn’t she then?” 

“Let him help. He might be able to push you two back together, and she may just need that.”

“Yeah.” Is all Yeosang says. He turns to Chaerin, who is quietly stirring the sugar and cream in her coffee. She hasn’t said one word to him, nor has she even looked at him since she stepped into the room. Yeosang gently nudges her and gives her a smile, but she can still barely hold contact with him. “Goodmorning. You okay?”

“Yup!” Is all she says. “Glad Y/N’s cousin was able to find you and talk to you a bit. Hope it works out.” She gives him the tiniest toothless smile she’s ever given anybody, and Yeo knows she’s really only doing it to brush him off and get him off of her case. “Anyway, I have a ton of work to catch up on. See you guys later?” She rushes out.

“I thought you two were okay.”

“I thought we were, too.”

“Why is she being weird around you?” Wooyoung cocks a brow up. “Did you guys kiss or something?” Jongho sips his coffee while Yeosang diverts his attention to his watch.

“I gotta get started on those emails—”

“I was literally just joking. Hurry, someone tell me it’s a joke.”

“Let’s go.” Jongho squeezes his shoulder and pushes Wooyoung out of the kitchen. “Stories for other days.”

“You two fucking kissed?!”

“Shut up.” Yeosang says through gritted teeth as he looks behind him and glares at Wooyoung. “This is why I can’t tell you shit sometimes.”

“Oh my god, when?! At the party?”

“I’m not doing this right now. It was an accident.” Yeosang mumbles as he sets himself down at his desk and begins to pull up his emails.

“The hell it was.” Wooyoung snorts. 

“Leave it alone.” Jongho laughs, pushing Wooyoung aside. “He’s got enough to deal with.”

“So? He’s also a grown ass man who can handle it. Right, boss?” Wooyoung leans over to Yeosang and winks. “I expect a full page report by end of the day.”

“Fuck off.” He shoves Wooyoung out of the way and begins to focus on his work. Though, it’s pretty hard when he’s constantly checking the clock and waiting for 12:30pm to come around. He manages to pull through and surprisingly multitask— trying to figure out the questions he has for Jeongin, while also trying to collect his thoughts about this whole thing. There’s no doubt the conversation will be awkward, but the last thing Yeosang wants is for Jeongin to feel like he’s attacking you and angry.

He is angry, but he’s trying to find ways to suppress the feeling and instead, be understanding. Open-minded. Patient.

When 12:30pm hits, Yeosang bids farewell to his friends that head across the street to grab lunch at the restaurant in front of the building. He grabs some soup and a side of salad, setting his stuff down at a table near the far corner of the cafeteria. Jeongin is equally nervous as he is scared because he’s not sure how this whole thing is gonna go down. He hopes the plan won’t backfire and Yeosang doesn’t blow up at him in front of everybody here. He grabs his helping of food before he pauses in his steps and searches the room for a familiar face. He sees Yeosang sitting at a table, only to be met with a small wave when Yeosang meets his eyes.

“Thanks for meeting me.”

“Shouldn’t I be thanking you?” Yeosang looks at him before letting out a small chuckle. 

“Nah. It’s no big deal.” Jeongin sips on his water before laying his phone out. Yeosang sees his wallpaper and it’s you two with other family members, posing during Christmas time. He assumes it was years ago when you were still around for family parties. You both have on matching pajamas and silly Christmas hats or glasses. “Had I known it was you she was talking about, I would’ve reached out sooner.”

“How’d you find out?”

“I went to her place the other day and saw some pictures of you two scattered across her table. I flipped through most before she took them and hid them in her drawer.”

“Glad to know she at least still has the pictures.”

“She does. She’s not gonna toss those.” Jeongin takes a bite of his food. “I didn’t mean to be nosy earlier, by the way. I was already questioning myself until I saw the photo on your phone. Kinda helped.”

“It’s all good.” Yeosang sips his soup. “Is she safe?”

“She is. She’s here.” Yeosang pauses before he sets his spoon down completely. So, he wasn’t hallucinating when he ran into you that one day. It was you. “She has her own place and everything. She’s been here for about a few weeks.”

“How many weeks exactly?”

“I dunno, 4? A month, I guess?”

“We were supposed to meet at the end of last month.” Jeongin cocks a brow up.

“She never showed up?”

“No.” 

“Hm.” Jeongin hums. “Pretty sure she was already here by then.”

“I don’t know if that makes it any better for me knowing she was.”

“I’m sorry.” Jeongin slightly pouts. “She’s.. she’s been through a lot. I know it’s not an excuse, especially one I can say on her behalf, but she does this. I’m trying really hard to help her so she doesn’t keep running from her problems and everything. I just think she’s gotten so used to doing it that it has become the safest option for her.”

“I understand. Do you mind telling me more about it?”

“She was engaged. She gave her ex everything, and I mean everything. She isolated us just to keep him happy, did everything for him, always stood by his side even though he gaslighted and manipulated her. He really wasn’t good for her.” Jeongin rolls his eyes, still angry at your ex for the way he treated you. “They fought more after they got engaged and he pretty much took everything back. Found out he was having an affair behind her back for months. It was his dumb way of saying their relationship ran its course and that he didn’t wanna do this with her anymore.” Yeosang feels his hand balling into a fist hearing about how incredibly disrespectful your ex was and how fucked up the whole thing turned out to be. Still, it doesn’t excuse the behavior and he wishes you didn’t look at him as someone who would hurt you, too. He would never. He genuinely loves you and would take care of you properly— should you let him. That’s all he wants. “And then on top of that, her parents were pretty harsh on her. All they kept doing was pushing her to be something she wasn’t. The more she refused, the more they treated her like shit. Her dad kept saying she was useless and that he didn’t think he’d have to deal with a daughter who didn’t have purpose.” Yeosang shakes his head. “It all happened around the same time. She wouldn’t stop crying and crying.” Jeongin shakes his head and pokes at his food. “She was so destroyed. She felt like all the people she loved were constantly telling her and showing her that she wasn’t good enough or that she wasn’t worth it. That she didn’t have a purpose. No one wanted to be with her or stick by her side because she was nothing.”

“Not to me.” Yeosang mutters. 

“I know.” Jeongin looks at him. “I know you wouldn’t hurt her.”

“How, though? We barely met a few hours ago.” Yeosang smiles a bit.

“I just do. She’s kept all your pictures, I know she keeps checking her phone even though she got a new number and everything. She thinks about you a lot, and it’s obvious. I’ve seen her cry because she was hurt, but now I see her cry because she misses you and she’s not sure how to explain herself to you.” Jeongin tilts his head. “Do you still wanna be with her? I’ll keep this between us. I know time has passed and the way everything happened was so abrupt.”

“Of course I do. There’s nothing more that I want than to be with her. I’ve just been trying to be patient. I’ve been trying to wait and give her the space she needs because I respect her and care about her more than anyone knows. But, I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” The moment the statement slips from Yeosang’s lips, his heart falls to his stomach. He’s tired of waiting, and even though he doesn’t want this to end, he’s not sure what he’s waiting for anymore. Especially after the call. He just needs to see you. “She accidentally called me the other night during the party. I called her back and she picked up but she didn’t say anything on the other line. I told her she didn’t have to respond, but I needed her to know I was still here for her. Then, she just hung up.” Jeongin sighs.

“Can you meet her tonight? I’m sorry if that’s soon. I think it’s time.”

“How is that even gonna work? If she knows I’m there, she won’t see me.”

“She will. She doesn’t have to know. I can tell her I’m coming by for dinner and you can be there instead of me. Like, 6pm?” Yeosang nods. Jeongin grabs his phone and starts pulling up your text thread, immediately typing away.

“Wait, are you sure about this?”

“Mhm.” Is all he says as he sends the text. He shoves the phone towards Yeosang’s way, letting him see your response as it comes up on the screen.

[jeongin]: dinner tonight?

[you]: sure!

[jeongin]: i’ll swing by after i’m off. probably 6ish.

“She’s gonna be pissed at you.” Yeosang says and Jeongin shrugs.

“She won’t. It’ll be all good. Trust me on this. You two really need to talk.”

“Thanks. For this.” 

“No need to thank me, seriously. I hope it helps. I just—“ Jeongin sighs. “I want her to be happy. I need her to know she deserves this happiness, too.”

“I want her to be happy, too. Whether that’s with me or not.”

“You know, when she used to call me back while she was in town, she used to sound so giddy and happy. Found out it was because of you being around. It made me happy hearing her talk the way she was talking. Always so excited to get on with her day and see you.” Yeosang gives him a tiny smile before doing a slight head tilt.

“Wait, so. She never told you my name or anything?”

“Nope. I don’t even know the names of her friends. Well, I guess, your friends now, too.” Jeongin looks up as if deep in thought before shaking it off and continuing to eat. “I don’t think she was trying to hide you or anything. I think she wanted to keep her two lives separate. I’m not sure why.”

“It’s alright.” Yeosang hopes he’ll hear the explanation from you directly, no matter how long it takes. He won’t push you to say it, but he hopes— he hopes you’ll take the initiative to tell him why.

“I’ll send you her address and the door code.” Jeongin slides his phone back over to Yeosang for him to put his number in. As soon as Yeosang hands it back, Jeongin sends him the address as promised. When Yeosang reads the preview on his phone, he almost lets out a hefty audible sigh at how close your new place is to his.

“She lives near me.” Yeosang says with a pathetic chuckle. He isn’t directing it to Jeongin, more so voicing his disappointment at how close you were. Yet, he wasn’t able to catch you once. Yet, you felt so incredibly distant, as if miles and miles were in between. “She’s been around this entire time and I didn’t even know she was that close.”

“I’m sorry. I really hope this fixes things. Or, is at least the start.”

“I appreciate it. A lot.”

“Well, you can always text or call me for anything now that you have my number. I’m here to help as much as I can.” Yeosang nods, watching as Jeongin finishes his food and sips the last of his water. “I gotta head back into the lab. Thanks again for taking your lunch with me.”

“Same to you.” Jeongin waves just as he stands to throw away his trash and heads back to his work. Yeosang, however, takes a moment to sit and sort through his thoughts; navigating through every scenario he can think of for tonight’s encounter. He wasn’t planning on doing this so soon, but he’s glad he has the opportunity to. He just wants to see you, even though he knows this will hurt. Even though he knows this won’t start off easy. He turns when he hears rain starting to pound against the window, wondering if the sudden downpour has some sort of hidden meaning, some kind of symbolism he should pay attention to behind everything happening.

He watches the rain and wonders if you’re okay. If you’re safe and dry. If you wore a jacket even though you despise wearing one so much because it ‘ruins your outfit.’

Time moves painfully slow, especially during the last few minutes of the workday. Yeosang has tried to keep himself busy as much as possible, even offering to take some tasks off of his coworker’s plate just to continue distracting himself. As soon as it’s time for Yeo to clock out, he bids farewell to his friends and speeds out of the building. The rain is still steadily pouring and he hates that he has to drive in this because it means there’s more traffic on the road that he’ll have to sit through. For once, he wishes he was wrong, because now, not only does he have to sit in traffic, but he has to sit in traffic alone with his thoughts. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing, though; the more he sits with his thoughts, the more he’s able to accept that whatever happens tonight is meant to happen.

Damn.

When he finally hops off the congested highway and exits onto a familiar street, he navigates through the roads before pulling into a small alley. It’s literally about ten minutes on the opposite end from where he lives, and if he wanted to, he could make this walk on a good day. The street you live on is quite narrow that he’s having to park behind a few cars up and walk down to the gate that leads to the entrance of the main house. He plugs in the code Jeongin sent him and steps in, following his direction of walking towards the side of the house to a door near the back corner. He can hear your soft music playing through the window and he has to swallow the lump that forms in his throat because it’s unreal he’s about to face you again after all this time.

Knock, knock, knock.

“It’s about time, I—” You tilt your head in confusion, suddenly feeling queasy when you don’t see Jeongin at your door and instead, you find Yeosang. Your heart drops to your stomach when you see his face. The damp hair strands sticking to his forehead from the rain. His damp button-up, raindrops painting a pattern across his shoulders. His deep brown eyes, long lashes. He’s the only true definition of love you’ve ever known, and he’s standing in front of you again after weeks have gone by. “Yeosang. W-what are you doing here?”

“Your cousin.” He places his hand on the door, hoping you won’t shut it close on his face. He really needs this right now— you both really need this right now. “I think we need to talk.” You’re not able to form any responses, so all you can do is quietly step aside to let him in. He steps out of his shoes and looks around your in-law. It’s awfully similar to your place back in town, and a wave of nostalgia hits him even though he’s here with you. Things just don’t feel the same though, and he hates it.

“How do you know my cousin?”

“We work together.” He looks at you when you finally come to his side and tuck your arms close to your chest.

“Oh.” Is all you manage to say. “You can leave your jacket on the chair. Do you need water—”

“Y/N.” He calls you firmly. “Stop.” 

“Yeosang, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” It’s the best thing you can come up with because you truly weren’t prepared for Yeosang to show up on your doorstep. It should be easy because it’s him. But at the same time, it’s difficult because it’s him.

“Why don’t you start by telling me why?”

“I’m sorry—”

“I waited for you. You told me you’d be there and you weren’t. You were here the whole time and you didn’t even try to come see me?”

“You won’t understand.”

“Try me.” He says, stepping closer. “How am I supposed to understand when you won’t even explain what’s going on?”

“I was scared.”

“Scared about what?” He has this look on his face and it screams every fear you’ve had, especially about your relationship. You know this is fully your own thoughts trying to ruin you, to become your downfall— but, still, you hate the way he looks at you and all you’re itching to do is run. “Y/N, I’m trying to understand. Tell me.” His voice is soft, calming. He can pick up on the feelings your exuding, the fear, the anxiety, and that’s not what he came here for. He came here to see you, to understand you, to listen.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“I was afraid you’d realize this wasn’t what you wanted. I mean, I’m all sorts of messed up. Full of baggage and insecurities. You’ll get tired and you’ll realize I’m not worth—”

“Woah, stop.” Yeosang shakes his head. “I’m gonna have to stop you right there. When have I ever showed you this is how I felt about you? Because it’s the complete opposite. I don’t care about all that because I wanna work through it with you. Not once did I ever think any of this wasn’t worth it, even until now.”

“You say that now!”

“I say that now and I’ll say it later, too!” Yeosang matches your tone. “Why would I do all of this if I wasn’t serious about you? I’d go through all of this with you—”

“I didn’t wanna put you through it because you deserve better—”

“You don’t get to decide that for me, Y/N!” Yeosang’s tone rises, and you almost flinch at how [understandably] angry he is right now. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, swallowing the lump in his throat causing his jaw to tick. “Why would you assume that about me? About us? Because you’ve been fucked up and damaged in the past? Aren’t we all fucking jaded in one way or another? Why would you compare me to him?”

“I’m sorry.” Your response falls to a whisper as you break into a sob. Yeosang is having to look away with his jaw clenched because he’s angry. He’s livid. But, he hates seeing you cry and he can’t stand it. “I got scared. I didn’t know if I’d be good enough for you.”

“You are always going to be more than enough.” He lets out a sigh. “I’m so sorry, I don’t think I should apologize for your ex’s shitty actions as much as I want to. I know he hurt you and that was fucked up of him to do. I’m sorry it still hurts you. But, I’m not him, Y/N. I will never be. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to make you feel like I would hurt you or make you feel like you were temporary to me. That’s hurtful. Everything you pulled—” His jaw ticks as he pauses and paces around the room, hand placed on his hip. “You have no fucking idea how hard it was. Not even just for me, but for your friends, too. Why? Why would you just leave? Why would you just leave me?”

❊ FLASHBACK

Yeosang lets out a deep sigh as soon as he parks his car. His body feels incredibly heavy, and he feels like his heart has been ripped out of his chest. He’s sad, and it’s an indescribable type of sadness. He’s never been here before, and quite frankly, he doesn’t know how to navigate this.

He plops onto his couch, feeling incredibly defeated after waiting, and waiting. And waiting. His anxiety is through the roof when he calls your number over and over again, even though he knows where it’ll lead him— an automated bot telling him the number’s no longer in service. He’s tried everything and he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know if he should leave and search all over town for you, he doesn’t know if he should sleep this off and hope he’ll see a message from you in the morning.

He doesn’t know.

He grabs a coaster from his coffee table and tosses it against the wall out of frustration, digging his head into his hands when he can’t help but cry. He should’ve known this would happen. He should’ve known there was a chance you’d leave.

But he didn’t, and now he’s fucking hurt because he doesn’t know what to do. He loves you, and god, is it the most painful thing to dwell on right now.

He just doesn’t know.

❊ END

“All I ever wanted to do was take care of you and love you the way you deserved to be loved. If you didn’t wanna do this, you could’ve just said so.” Yeosang says softly. “We both didn’t have to go through this if you had just been honest.”

“Yeosang, it’s not that, I just—” But, you’re sorry because you didn’t mean to fuck this up entirely. You’re sorry because you probably lost the one person who genuinely cared and loved you for you. You’re sorry because you wish you knew better and you wish you had a better explanation. “I’m so sorry.”

“I think we both just need more time right now. More space. Maybe it’ll help you figure out what you really want.” He says softly, thumb coming to your cheek to wipe your tears away. As much as he hates leaving you like this, the both of you know it’s the best move. You’ll continue to cry and apologize, and Yeosang will succumb to everything. He’ll always be there for you, but at this point, he is no longer in control of the situation and needs you to come to him when you’re ready. You will need to realize on your own that he is with you, not against you. You will need to realize he is someone you can trust, someone who loves you more than words can explain. He’ll wait— he always has and he will.

“Don’t leave.” It’s so selfish of you to ask when you’ve done the complete opposite to him, but you can’t help it now that he’s in front of you. You wrap your arms around him and he holds you close, lips pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head to try and calm you down.

“I’m not. But, I can’t do this alone, Y/N.” Is all he says and it’s enough to show you just how much this means to Yeosang— how much you mean to him and what he needs from you. Because he’s right, he can’t do this alone. It isn’t a one-way street. As much as Yeosang is willing to be there for you, he’s not the one who has to make the change— you are.

He holds you for a good, long minute before he’s the first to break. He tilts your chin up gently, giving you a soft, sympathetic look because he hopes you understand him. Just as he does with you. He places another kiss on your forehead before he quietly steps into his shoes and leaves. The next thing you know, you’ve fallen to the ground, unable to control the sobs that come next. Even though he reassured you he wasn’t leaving, the entire thing felt completely unsalvageable. Like you lost a part of you, like this couldn’t be fixed.

“I can explain.” Jeongin immediately says when he picks up the phone, but he’s only greeted by your sobs and uncontrollable breathing.

“Please come, Innie.”

“On my way.” He quickly ends the call and leaves the shop he had been lingering around in. He knew he needed to stay alert tonight, and he knew he needed to stay close in case of whatever happened. Although you had been crying, he really hopes something good at 

least came out of this— whether that meant starting over or giving each other time to breathe. He hopes it wasn’t too bad, but he has full faith in Yeosang. He would have only done what was best.

When Jeongin gets to your place, the door is still unlocked and you haven’t moved from your position on the floor near your tiny couch. You’ve got your knees tucked to your chest, head resting down on your knees; small cries muffled from the way you’re positioned. He doesn’t say anything when he throws his arms around you and keeps you close, letting you cry onto him until you’ve released everything you needed to release. 

“What happened?”

“He left. He said we needed time.”

“I think you two do. You need to be honest about what you want, Y/N.”

“I just want him.”

“Then, why did you leave in the first place? Why did you try so hard to keep your two lives separate?” Jeongin asks.

“Because, it felt safer that way.” You retort. “Going to town was my escape from this reality. This reality where everything hurt me— my parents, him. I didn’t wanna mesh the two because I need something, some place, that could be my escape. My peace.”

“You didn’t need to, though. Nothing would have changed because we care about you. We would never let anything or anyone hurt you. I get that you wanted to keep things on the low or keep it separate, but if you had asked for help, we would’ve been there. If you needed a push to get over everything, some reassurance, we all would have been there. We care enough to not let you get stuck in one place.” Jeongin sighs. “Maybe it’s time you stop running from everything, or thinking that everyone is out to hurt you. Because look— I’m here because I care. Your friends here care. Your friends over there worried about you.” He pauses. “Yeosang.”

“I know. I hurt him.” You cry and Jeongin holds you close, slowly rocking you back and forth. “I hurt him so badly. He won’t ever forgive me. He won’t come back, he won’t forgive me.” You go on and on and Jeongin has to shush you to get you to stop, to get you to force those thoughts away. Yeosang wouldn’t.

He wouldn’t. He knows where he lies and that’s with you, no matter how long it takes.

“He will.” Jeongin continues to hold you. “Stop running away, okay? This is enough.”

❊ 6 MONTHS LATER ..

“Longest journey ever.” Wooyoung says, stepping off of the train. “And look who decided to finally fucking show up? Our driver!”

“Not your fucking driver.” Yeosang rolls his eyes after parking the car by the curb and helping his friends.

“The weather’s perfect here.” Jongho snaps some photos while Yeosang throws their bags into the trunk of Jungkook’s car. 

“Assuming Chae didn’t wanna come?”

“Yeah. And guess whose fault that is, heartbreaker?” 

“Jongho, let’s go. I’m leaving his ass here so he can get back on the train—” Wooyoung yells as he hops in the passenger seat and laughs.

“I’m sorry! I’m kidding! She has some family stuff going on, but she said hi and told us she’d text you to relay her birthday message to Y/N.” Yeosang nods. He’s a bit sad knowing one of his bestfriends wouldn’t be here, but he understood. At least, tried to. Things never recovered well after the night of the work party. They tried to be as normal as possible, but there was always some sort of weird, awkward tension between the two that they were never able to move past. It’s sad seeing it go from how close they were to how distant they are now. But, Yeosang will always consider her as one of his good friends, and he’ll always be there for her should she need him for anything. That doesn’t change a thing for him. “Speaking of Y/N, where is she?”

“Probably already drunk at the restaurant because you two decided arriving fashionably late was the best way to go.”

“I had to get a haircut, you dick. I’m not coming here looking like a hot mess.” Wooyoung snaps.

“Ah, on her best birthday behavior, though. Atta girl.” Jongho chuckles. “Did Innie, Ryu, Bin and San get here already?” Wooyoung asks as if he’s known them for years. But, when your friends and Yeosang’s friends finally met, they clicked and got along easily. It didn’t take long for them to mesh together, and you were happy it turned out that way. There was some tension between you and Chaerin, but unintentionally. Yeosang had told you about the night of the party, and it didn’t bother you as much as it did Chaerin. You tried to talk to her and reassure her that things were okay and that you weren’t mad, yet you also tried to give her space knowing how she felt about Yeosang. It was difficult, and she came around less; but, you respected her and her space. You weren’t gonna force her if she didn’t feel comfortable being around you, Yeosang, or the both of you together.

“Yeah, last night. Been a full house.”

“Fun! Can’t wait.” Wooyoung smirks, causing Yeosang to give him a look and Jongho to smack him on the side of the head from behind the passenger seat.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“What! We’re here to have fun, aren’t we?”

“Fun like birthday party yoohoo let’s toss confetti and dance around kind of fun. Not tussle in the sheets and break headboards with the entire house listening kind of fun.” Jongho laughs.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Wooyoung smiles.

“Please don’t.”

“Can’t promise!” He laughs, making Yeosang let out a loud sigh as he drives off to the Jungkook’s uncle’s house that he so graciously offered for everyone to stay at while he was away traveling. Yeo is happy to be back in town with everyone he loves to celebrate you— his baby, his everything.

When Yeosang gets to the house, he gives Wooyoung and Jongho some time to get settled and change into better clothes for the beach party. Everyone is already gathered at the restaurant and on the beach, the DJ all set up with food ready to go. By the time he brings Jongho and Wooyoung over, people from town have already piled in; the loud music and talking echoing into the night sky. Jungkook is the first to greet them, followed by Keeho, Mingi, Mina, Ryujin, Bin and San. Innie is accompanying you on the karaoke machine, causing Yeosang to laugh seeing you two already tipsy and singing loudly together. Everything is loud, somewhat chaotic. It reminds Yeosang of the bonfire and movie night, and how he didn’t know how to act when you initially invited him.

He’s sure as hell glad he just went.

❊ FLASHBACK 

“Gonna stop by the restaurant again tonight? There’s gonna be a bonfire and movie night event. We’ll be serving beer and all that good stuff.”

“Tonight?”

“The flyers are everywhere, silly.” You point at a flyer posted on the pole behind him. “Come, it’ll be fun.”

“Mm, I’ll think about it.” You cock your head to the side and slightly pout. “Sorry, it’s just not my thing. I..” Yeosang lets out a breath as he scratches at the back of his neck. “I probably sound really lame. But, lots of people. Noise. Gets kinda overwhelming.” He shrugs.

“I understand.” You give him a tiny toothless smile. “That’s okay! I promise it won’t be too crazy, and it’s pretty chill. But, totally up to you.”

“Thanks for extending the invite.” You nod. “Any more water to carry in?” You laugh.

“Nope! Thank you again. See you around?” Yeosang nods, watching as you step into the restaurant and start helping the middle-aged lady inside despite her playful efforts of shoo’ing you away. Yeosang shifts his gaze to his two feet, kicking at the rocks beneath them before walking down the path to the grocery store. He’s kinda cursing himself for sounding so fucking lame in front of you. Lots of people? Noise? What was he thinking? It wasn’t necessarily a lie, though— he actually doesn’t like to be in crowded places for long, doesn’t really like to party or do bonfires, socialize for long periods of time with people he doesn’t know well. Is the type of person to join a team dinner for the free food but will be gone in the next hour or so. Will join a work party because he feels obligated to show face for at least an hour before rushing home to get in bed. But, he’s cursing himself because he is on vacation, exploring new territory and breathing in new scenery. He should have some fun. He should’ve tried a little harder to sound a bit more interested.

“Jesus, Kang Yeosang.” He mutters to himself before shaking his head and heading off to the grocery store to grab some necessities for the studio.

❊ END

“My man!” You squeal loudly just as the 100% score comes up on the screen for you and Jeongin, jumping onto Yeosang and clinging onto him like a koala. He laughs and rubs your back, gently setting you back down on your feet. “Where’s—” You scream when you see Wooyoung and Jongho emerge from behind after greeting your friends. You run past Yeosang and throw your arms around Wooyoung and Jongho, your voice and Wooyoung’s voice loud enough to overpower the entire crowd gathered around the restaurant.

“Cheers, my guy.” Mingi and Jeongin hand him a shot filled to the brim, tapping their glasses against his before they take it to the neck.

“She’s drunk already.”

“Good, as she should be.” Yeosang squints and makes a face when the shot settles and travels down his chest.

“Who is with me on the karaoke machine?!” Changbin yells, pulling Mina from the side and forcing her to sing along with him.

“Let’s go dance!” You drag Yeosang to the sand where others are dancing, including Jungkook, Ryujin, San and Keeho. Mingi, Jeongin, Wooyoung and Jongho follow along after catching up with a few shots, a cocktail in hand to wash off the icky tequila aftertaste. You, Yeosang and your friends sing along to the songs playing, in between dancing with each other and keeping the party hyped. From time to time, Yeosang will pull you away to get his one-on-one time with you— always hugging you close, even when he’s just playfully dancing with you or letting you work your ass on him.

It’s a good night, a fun one; just exactly how you imagined your birthday to turn out. 

After all the dancing and drinking, you silently sneak away to pick at the finger foods and fill your tummy so that you can be at a good balance tonight. You pop a few more pieces of the sushi bake Keeho made before sipping on water and stepping off to the side of the beach, observing the waves from where the rocks sit high and scatter among the sand. Although it wasn’t too congested at the party, it felt nice to step away and take a breather on your own.

“Come here often?” You hear Yeosang from behind you, his hands tucked behind his back as he shyly watches you turn to face him.

“I do, do you? Heard the breakfast is good here.” He chuckles before wrapping his arms around you from behind, placing a kiss to your head.

“What’re you thinking about?”

“Just watching the ocean like we used to. Can’t believe we’re back here with everyone.”

“Back where everything started.”

“Mmyeah. Exactly.” You giggle, leaning back into his chest.

“Happy birthday, my baby.” He says softly near your ear before smothering your cheek with tiny, repeated kisses. “I wanted to give you your present.” You feel his hands come around you, draping the silver necklace around your neck. It’s a small heart, with an infinity sign intertwined in the middle. You gasp when he finally secures it around your neck, earning a small chuckle from your boyfriend.

“Wait, this is the necklace I’ve been secretly eyeing! How’d you know?!” You pout, tears forming on your bottom lids.

“You don’t have to cry, princess.” Yeosang laughs. “I just do. You think I don’t catch you going back to visit the necklace at that shop every opportunity you get?” You laugh.

“I love it.” You smile at him. “You’re the best.” You tippytoe to kiss him on the lips.

“I know.” You roll your eyes and shake your head, admiring the necklace in silence a little more.

“Sangie?” You break the silence and fully turn to face him, hands resting on the nape of his neck.

“Mhm?”

“Thank you.” 

“For what?” He taps the tip of your nose, causing you to let out a small giggle.

“I just wanna say thank you for everything that you do for me.” He doesn’t respond. Instead, he dips forward to lock you in a kiss; his hands coming to squeeze at your sides. This, too, hadn’t been easy nor perfect, but he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

❊ FLASHBACK

“Hey!” You smile through facetime, watching as Keeho, Mingi and Jungkook pile behind Mina in the shot. It had been about another month since your interviews wrapped up and you were offered the job at the aquarium [just as you had hoped]. A month since the encounter with Yeosang. A month since you finally left the past where it belonged in order to move forward.

“Okay, so she’s glowing!” Keeho laughs. “Whattup bae! How’s everything?”

“Good! I’ve been busy already starting my job at the aquarium.”

“Busy being our ‘lil aquarium worker.” Mingi laughs. “Congrats Y/N!”

“Knew your ass would get it!” Jungkook chimes in.

“Stop it.” You laugh, happy to see your friends all together at the restaurant. “Thank you, though.”

“We miss you.” Mina pouts. “I’m glad you called. It’s been different without you.”

“I’ll be back soon!” You reassure her. “I’ll visit, okay?”

“You swear?”

“Swear.”

“How’s everything been back home, though?” Jungkook asks.

“Mm, well. I finally talked to my parents after awhile. I think we’re okay for now. Definitely have things to work on because of how things have gone down between us in the past, but we’re okay.” You had just come from your parents house, and although you had expected the visit to be rough, it wasn’t as bad as you thought. There are still a lot of things you and your parents need to work on together, but today was a start. Your parents had told you how much they missed you and how much they worried about you, your mom being the first to apologize about everything that had happened in the past. You did tell them about starting a job at the aquarium, and they congratulated you. Your dad was still awkward about the entire thing, but you saw a side of him that you hadn’t seen in a long time today. He was softer. Happy to see you doing well and healthy. Genuinely congratulated you for taking those steps. A lot of his beliefs and values are still deeply rooted within him, but you think this might have served as a good learning lesson for him and something he could look back on. They were happy to have you back, happy to have you nearby. They were happy, and you were, too. It wasn’t gonna be an easy journey, and it wasn’t perfect, but you’ll take what you can work with and lift some weight off of your shoulders.

“What about Yeo?” You bite onto your botton lip.

“I’m gonna try and see him in a bit.”

“Gonna go get your man back?” You shyly nod, making everyone ‘aw’ in unison.

“Good. He’s good for you, and you deserve to be happy. Both of you.”

“I’ll let you guys know how it goes. I just wanted to call you and say hi.”

“You look good, Y/N. You look happy. Don’t lose that.” You giggle and nod.

“I’ll be back soon, yeah? I expect a whole ass party and a big group hug as soon as I step into that restaurant.” Keeho snorts.

“With what money?” You laugh.

“I’ll call you guys later.”

“Okay, be safe!” Jungkook says as they all wave. “Love youuuuuu!” They all say in their own sing-song ways before cutting the call. You send Jeongin a few texts to let him know how the whole thing with your parents went before letting him know you were on your way to try and see Yeosang. Although some time had passed, you were hoping he’d still be open to seeing you and talking to you about everything. The time surely helped, and you were willing to accept how things turned out— whether that meant starting over with Yeosang or being friends.

“Hi.” 

“Hey.” Yeosang licks his lips, letting out a small huff after pausing his quick workout. He’s relieved to hear from you, and to be frank, he missed hearing your voice. He had been waiting for this moment, and even though the wait was excruciating, everything about you was worth it. He missed you.

“Can I come over so we can talk?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll send you my address. It’s close to you.” 

“Okay. I’ll be there in about 10 minutes or so?”

“Do you want me to come get you?”

“It’s okay. I’m already out, I’ll take a taxi over.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay. See you soon, pretty.” You smile to yourself hearing the term of endearment from Yeosang even after all this time. His love pure, genuine— not ever coming short.

Your nerves are slightly getting to the best of you as you sit and wait for the pastries you ordered to be packed up by the staff member assisting you. When she hands over the boxes, you thank her with a smile and immediately call a taxi to head over to Yeosang’s place. You twiddle your thumbs and constantly smooth down the material of your clothes, nervous about how everything will turn out. The both of you have shared small texts here and there just to check in, but it was clear the two of you were trying to keep a good distance until things felt more settled. He wanted to give you time to work on yourself and figure things out on your own, even though he was fighting everything within him to do so. The amount of times he wanted to just call you, come to your house, kiss you and make love to you— tell you to forget everything that’s happened and to start over right then and there.

He always wanted to do right by you, even if that meant letting you go for a bit.

He tidies up his place even though there isn’t much mess to clean. He’s a simple guy, has little things here and there. Your photos, your shell sitting on his nightstand. He lights some incense and sets it at the corner of his living room to liven up his space. He’s in a simple fit after running to the grocery store, still clad in his black pants and charcoal-colored tshirt. 

Should he have made something for you?

“Shit.” He says, trying to rummage through his fridge. But, he realizes it’s too late when he hears the bell go off and he’s having to buzz you into the building. Sooner or later, soft knocks come to the door and Yeosang is shaking off his nerves, letting out a breath. “Hey.” It comes off a lot smoother, more collected, than he expected. Goodjob, Kang Yeosang. Pat on the fucking back.

“Hi.” You give him that cute smile of yours just as you walk in and step out of your shoes, curious eyes exploring his place. “Wow, your place is so.. you.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nice. Perfect.” You chuckle. “Don’t worry.” You show him the small box in your hand. “I bring some pastries.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.” 

“Are you sharing with me?” You nod and he smiles, setting it onto the coffee table as he plops down and sits next to you. His eyes quickly scan your outfit and how beautiful you look today. You don’t even have to try and it makes Yeosang’s heart soar. You're so fucking pretty.

God, he is so in love with you. 

“What’d you do today?” He looks at you with the utmost attention and it gives you butterflies.

“Hm, I just ran a few errands and talked to my parents. Talked to everyone back in town.” His eyes widen.

“You talked to your parents? How’d that go?”

“Better than I expected. It’s not perfect, things still feel kinda awkward but it was good. We’re okay and I think we’ll be able to work through things over time. They congratulated me when I told them about the aquarium.”

“That’s good! I’m happy to hear that. You deserve it. Hope Keeho and them are doing well, too.”

“Thank you.” You smile at him for a little longer before you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “Yeah, they are. What did you do today?”

“Grab groceries.” He scratches at his temple. “I—uh, I’m sorry I didn’t prepare anything beforehand. I didn’t think about it until it was too late.”

“It’s okay.” You giggle. 

“So, have you been okay otherwise?” You shrug.

“I think? I’m doing better than before.”

“Good.” 

“You?”

“I’ve seen better days.” You slightly pout.

“Sangie.” His heart does flips when you say his nickname that way, when you look at him the way you do. You scoot closer to him on the couch and he welcomes it, resting his arm against the back edge so you can slot yourself right in the opening. “Sangie, I’m so, so sorry.” You cup his cheeks and caress the surface. “I just got scared, and I’m so sorry for leaving.” You watch as he leans into your touch a little more. “I know I should’ve known better and I shouldn’t have ran in the first place, but it was the only safe thing I knew. I was so used to doing it that I didn’t even think about how it’d affect you or anybody else in the long run. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He lets out a breath, his hand coming up to hold your wrist.

“You know I’m here with you, not against you, right? I would never do anything to hurt you. I don’t care about what happened in the past, I don’t care what people have said about you. All that matters to me is that you’re taken care of and happy. That’s all I wanna do, and that’s all I wanna do with you.” He cups your cheeks and lifts your head slightly so that he can look at you, fully look at you, and take you in. “You’re everything to me and nothing about that will change, Y/N. No matter what.”

“I know, I know that.” You repeat. “I love you, and I’m sorry. I wanna do this with you, and I don’t want anything else. Only you.” 

“We can take our time with this.” He places a gentle kiss against the palm of your hand. “We can take it slow.”

“Okay.” Your voice falls to a whisper. 

“Me and you, yeah?” He asks for some kind of reassurance. You nod, crawling onto his lap to sit comfortably on him.

“Just me and you.” He gives you a small smile before gripping your chin gently and bringing you down for a kiss. It starts off strong, as if all the desire he had been holding in could finally be released. 

“Missed you.” He whispers in between kisses, hands resting on your hips while his tongue slowly prods your mouth. “Missed you so fucking much.”

“Missed you too, love.” The kiss gets sloppier and sloppier; teeth clicking in a fit of need, tongues fighting over dominance. 

“Need to move this to the room. Now.” Yeosang hisses. He swoops you into his arms in one swift motion, causing you to squeal as you hold him tightly around the neck. He tugs off your shirt and tosses it across the living room while making his way to the bedroom. You follow the same urgency, tugging on Yeosang’s shirt just as he places you down on the edge of the bed. He sheds it off and lets it fall to the floor, his hands now working on your pants to get you completely bare for him. He places kisses on every inch of your body that he possibly can— moving from your throat, down to the base of your neck, your collarbone. Chest. He leaves feathery kisses down your valley of breasts, hand coming up to massage your tit before working his lips, his tongue, around your perked nipples. You let out an audible gasp, back arching off of the bed as he finally pulls your pants down and lets them join his shirt on the floor. He tugs your panties down and doesn’t waste a moment to leave a trail of kisses along your inner thighs. 

“Wanna take care of you.” He says deeply just as he lowers himself in between your thighs and kisses your folds, your aching nub. His tongue slowly laps in between your folds, teasing your entrance before kissing his way back up to your clit and focusing his efforts on getting you off. You let out a loud moan when you feel the tip of his tongue nudge at your clit a couple of times, spreading your slick and his saliva all over your pussy. 

He kisses you, touches you, like he’s been starved for years.

Your grip on his head tightens, hips grinding against his mouth to relieve the friction you are so desperately chasing, needing.

“Oh, fuck— Yeosang—” You cry, overwhelmed by the sudden orgasm that comes crashing down on you. Your thighs close in on him as he continues to suck on your clit, keeping himself there until he feels your body settle in his grip; until he feels your hands loosen around his head. He bites onto his bottom lip as he gets himself out of his own pants, stroking himself while his eyes glaze over your entire body.

“So perfect for me.”

“Need you, Sangie.” You mewl, his dick feeling painfully hard in his own hand. He slots himself in between your legs, free hand making sure to keep your legs cocked open for him. He takes his cock and taps it onto your sensitive heat a few times, taking the tip in between your folds and nudging it against your clit. He lets out a loud groan when he feels how wet you are against him, no longer able to contain himself. “Please, babe.” You beg, feeling him run his dick down your slick once more before breaching your entrance; taking his time to fill you up until he bottoms out. 

Everything feels like it’s happening at the speed of light, unable to relish in every second. But, you need Yeosang. You need him just as badly as he needs you.

You feel tingles run down your spine as Yeosang finds a steady pace, hands placed on your inner thighs so he can watch his cock slip in and out of you with ease. His moans are mixed with yours, bouncing off the walls of his room along with the sounds of skin slapping against skin. Him pounding into you like there’s no tomorrow, like he needs to make up for lost time and show you just how desperate he is to have you.

“Ugh, fuck.” He lets out just as he lowers his body and hovers over you; his pace fast, quick. “Does it feel good, baby?” He’s right by your ear, teeth gently nibbling at your ear lobe.

“Yes—s-so good.” You can barely respond. Your hands thread into the ends of his hair as he continues to position himself right at the crook of your neck, keeping him close. “Keep going, just like that.” 

“My special girl.” He groans, nibbling at the surface of your neck. “Gonna give you everything.” He pants while pounding into you. “Shit— Y/N, baby—” He moans. “Where do you want me? Mm’gonna cum.”

“Inside. Please, please, please.” You continue to beg, working your own hips against him to relieve the ache you feel, craving every bit of him. The entire moment is so intense; powered with so much passion and need that you feel yourself tipping over the edge, ready to snap all over again. 

“I love you so much.” He says against your lips before his brows knit together, face contorting in pleasure when he releases his seed inside of you. You reach your second high at the same time, back arching against Yeosang while he’s trying to bring himself back down from cloud nine. “That’s it, baby. Give it to me.” He breathes, hearing you whine in his hold— the aftershocks of your orgasm still surging through your veins. 

“I love you.” You respond. It takes a few minutes before you’re able to open your eyes and regulate your breathing, Yeosang cooing you and whispering sweet praises against your skin before kissing your cheek. Lips. Then, he plops onto the mattress next to you, bringing you onto his chest to hold you close. Keep you there right where you belong. With him.

“Stay with me tonight?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” You tease with a giggle, hugging him tightly as you shut your eyes momentarily and take in all of Yeosang beneath you— his soft skin, his touch. His scent. “Sangie.”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I really missed you.”

“I missed you too. You have no idea.” He places a kiss on the top of your head, finger gently tracing shapes on your back to relax you. 

❊ END 

“Aye, birthday girl! We’ve got the cake out!” Keeho shouts from the restaurant. “Bring that ass over so we can sing happy birthday!” 

“Anything for you, hm?” He playfully taps your nose before grabbing your hand and kissing the surface. “Come, let’s go see your cake.” Yeosang smiles down at you and gives you another kiss to the forehead before leading you to the cake table. He had worked with a bakery to get your favorite cake— a simple ½ sheet vanilla cake with strawberry coulis, fresh strawberries and vanilla meringue icing. It was a simple but beautiful cake, with baby pink hues and dried flowers decorating the surface. Jungkook sticks two skinny candles down the middle, apologizing with a giggle for the shortage and for assuming he had more sitting in the restaurant. The crowd cheers and loudly sings happy birthday together before it falls silent when it’s your turn to make a wish. Yeosang admires you from the side, looking at you with pure adoration when your doe-eyes light up and you blow the candles out. Mingi helps snap pictures and polaroids, shaking them in between before laying them near your cake for you to see. Just as you turn to Yeosang for a kiss, he instantly swipes some of the icing down your cheek and laughs— running away from your wrath before surrendering due to your cute [but deadly] pouts and whines.

“I’m sorry, love. I had to.” He laughs, wiping at your cheek with a wet wipe. “You’re so cute.”

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“I am lucky.” He winks, causing you to snort. He puckers his lips for a kiss before helping Jungkook cut the cake and pass the slices along to everyone in attendance. Mingi calls you over to show you the rest of the pictures he took, proud of the work he’s done capturing the best moments from tonight.

“Happy looks good on her. The both of you, actually.” Jeongin says as he steps next to Yeosang, watching as you and Mingi continue to look at the pictures and laugh loudly together. “I’m really happy you two worked it out and never gave up on each other.”

“I am, too. And I don’t ever plan on changing that.” Yeosang continues to admire you.

“Yeah? This is it?” Jeongin smiles.

“She is.”

"Thank you for taking care of her." Yeosang returns the smile before diverting his attention to you as soon he hears you calling him over.

"Baby! Come look at these pictures!" You wave them up in the air happily. Now, you can add a few more polaroids to your collection— ones that have all your loved ones in one place. Ones of you and Yeosang. He can continue to add a few more sea shells to his night stand, ones picked by yours truly. And as far as he knows, he can continue to watch the waves crash against the shore with you. He can continue to grab the stars and place them in your hold just so you know what it feels like.

He can continue to shower you with love, give you all the flowers. This time, they won’t reach the floor. Because he has you, will always have you;

You— the purest, most raw, genuine definition of love, a flower he’ll continue to water and grow. 

Blossom.

❊ taglist: @frzzenfrxg @syubseokie @asjkdk @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr

[hwaslayer]

flowers on the floor (kys) | part one.

—summary: when yeosang decided he was going to take a month-long vacation, he was mainly hoping to get away from his mundane routine and the stress of work. he certainly wasn’t expecting to meet you and build a connection unlike he’s ever known. when the end of his vacation nears, promises are made to keep the relationship alive, to keep it blossoming. but eventually, as the reality settles in and the distance continues to put a wedge into your relationship, you drop your end of the promise without any trace. despite the heartbreak, all yeosang can do is think about you— hoping the universe will lead you to each other again.

—pairing: kang yeosang x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 30k | playlist

—content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, somewhat of a love at first sight/soulmate kinda thing?, mentions of a broken family relationship, family pressures and high expectations, mentions of past hookups/flings, hints at a toxic relationship/ex, alcohol consumption and intoxication, lots of making out and kissing lol, little acts of affection, bar scenes, dancing, unprotected sex, slight choking, subtle marking, fingering/clit play, mentions of oral, mentions of phone sex, handjob, multiple orgasms, aftercare, ANGST ooof, crying, overthinking and insecurities (lots of it), sorry if i missed anything!!

Kang Yeosang is typically okay with routine. 

He wakes up at 6am on the dot every day and gets himself ready for work. He grabs a banana or some boiled eggs for a quick breakfast, waiting until he arrives at the office at 8am to grab his hot cup of black coffee. He’s usually the first to be in the kitchen, helping himself to the fresh pot before Jongho, Chaerin and Wooyoung [in that order] walk in for their own servings. They gather around and chat for a bit before they head to their desks and get to work. They all work on the finance team as finance managers, preparing monthly reports and acting as liaisons between the company’s departments and outside vendors/customers. It’s a pretty flexible job, as long as they get what they need to get done and meet deadlines and attend required meetings. Most people are nice and hardworking, his boss is fairly understanding with most circumstances. Yeosang gets paid well, too. In the end, he can’t really complain. After his work day ends at 5pm, he heads straight to the gym for a good, long workout before he’s grabbing dinner to go or heading home to whip something up. He showers, gets comfortable, then hops on for a game of League before he’s laying in bed and watching useless Youtube videos. 

Then, the routine starts all over again.

Lately though, the routine’s been frustrating. Annoying to deal with. Overwhelming. People had been leaving [either permanently or taking days off after days off], dumping all the work on him to take over. He’s been taking it without complaint, but for someone who hasn’t really taken time off in the past year, his patience was running thin. Body burning out. Everything suddenly felt so mundane. Monotonous. Maybe, he finally needed a break to do something different. Maybe, he just needed a break period. That’s why he’s taking a leave of absence for a month, that’s why Wooyoung’s sitting in the driver’s seat— his bestfriend of 10 years shooting him a weird look while he makes his way to the train station with Yeosang chillin’ in the front seat.

“Wow, you’re really doing this shit.”

“No, I just submitted my leave request for shits and giggles.” Yeosang looks at Wooyoung.

“What’re you even gonna do there for a month?”

“Be away from you and Jongho, and finally be at peace.”

“You’ll be missing us as soon as you hop off that train.” 

“Right.”

“Seriously, what’re you gonna do there? I hope you find a fuckbuddy to keep you sane.”

“You know, we’re not all like you. Needing a new starting five every damn week.”

“Eh, and where’s the fun in that?” Woo teases with a small laugh. “Kidding. But also not. Really do hope you get laid while you’re on vacation.” Yeosang shakes his head and continues to look out the window, watching as the surroundings quickly pass him by. He’s honestly not sure what he’ll do over the month. He picked the town that seemed to match his vibe lately. Lowkey. Peaceful. Near the water. Convenience. Slow paced. He could spend his days at the beach and be completely content. Or, even sitting all day in the in-law he’s renting near the beach just listening to the water crash against the sand. Hell, beats another day sitting at his desk plugging in numbers and making graphs before answering passive aggressive emails from the operations department. Anywhere but here.

“You better be a good fucking friend and call me while you’re out there.” Wooyoung finally makes it to the train station and pulls up to the passenger drop-off to help Yeosang gather his things from the trunk.

“I will.”

“I’ll miss you.” Woo pouts as he pulls him into a hug.

“I’ll be back.” Yeo laughs. “Take care of Jongho and Chaerin while I’m gone.”

“Damn, Chaerin’s probably gonna cry while you’re away.”

“Stop that. She’ll be fine.” Yeo rolls his eyes at Woo’s teasing attempt. Everyone knew Chaerin had feelings for Yeo. Unfortunately, he just didn’t see her that way since he’s always considered her a good friend since they met. He didn’t wanna ruin things, didn’t wanna force something to be there when there wasn’t. He especially didn’t wanna hurt her.

“Have fun. Be safe. Enjoy yourself. Meet new people. Get some—”

“Okay, bye!” Yeosang cuts him off and drags his luggage and backpack to the entrance of the train station, waving his last goodbye to Wooyoung.

It’s 30 minutes before the train arrives, and Yeosang was able to grab some coffee and some snacks at the small store near the platform before hopping on, storing his luggage safely and settling into his seat. It’ll be a 4 hour train ride, and he made sure to bring the book he’s been needing to finish, while also downloading new episodes of a few podcasts he follows. It’ll be enough in between his tiny naps. He doesn’t mind the trek, truthfully. He might later when he hops off and finally stretches it out, but overall, the train ride is soothing.

When he finally steps foot off of the train, he does feel a little awkward and out of place since he hadn’t really treated himself to travels in awhile. But, he is excited to finally be away from work. Excited to be alone. He gives Wooyoung a quick call to tell him he’s made it and that he’s on his way to the in-law he’s renting. He makes it a point to tell him that it already feels different than being in the city, and he feels like he can breathe. Maybe then, Wooyoung wouldn’t keep pressing him about being gone for so long in a little town. Wooyoung surprisingly lets him be and is relieved to hear he’s made it safely, making Yeo promise to send him pictures knowing full well Yeo hates pictures of any sort. He agrees though, just to get him off his case and end the call on a light note.

He arrives at the in-law and the owners who live in the house above greet him with a warm smile. They give him the code to punch in at the door before sharing their number in case of any emergencies. Yeosang likes that it’s on the opposite end of the beach because of the quiet residential area. Plus, he still gets a good view being that the beach is basically at their doorstep. It’s soothing, really, really soothing. He takes his time washing up and unpacking, making himself feel at home away from home. By the time he’s settled and given himself time to rest, it’s about to be dinner. He checks for food around the area and finds a restaurant with raving reviews— people mainly boasting about the attractive staff working there, along with the delicious food and fun atmosphere. Despite that, it’s about a 15 minute walk down the road, and Yeosang can actually see it from where he’s at. It sounds worse than it actually is, though. There are no inclines or hills he has to conquer for dinner. For his first night, that seems to be a good option.

“Ayo! What can I get started for you?” Yeosang walks in and is immediately greeted by a tall, young man. He’s probably an inch or so taller than him. Sharp features. Short black hair. Piercing eyes.

“Uh, a beer sounds good. Any. Plus, popcorn chicken?.” Yeosang plops onto a high chair while a menu is slipped his way.

“That’s all?”

“Yeah, not too hungry.”

“Sounds good. It’ll be over shortly.” He gives Yeosang a tiny, toothless smile before he’s calling for someone about his food and meeting another tall male at the corner of the shop behind the registers. The other is standing at about 6’0, Yeosang thinks. He’s got a good build, deep voice that echoes throughout the shop—

“Hi!” You greet him warmly with a smile, putting a napkin down followed by a cold glass and his beer. “Hm, I feel like I haven’t seen you around here. Are you visiting?”

“Uh, yeah.” Yeosang gives you a very tiny, almost subtle toothless smile. He’s just a little surprised from you after being pulled out of his thoughts. His people-watching.

“I’m Y/N.” His eyes dart to your nametag before meeting your eyes again. 

“Yeosang.” You look at Yeosang’s features, taking note of the beautiful birthmark near his eye, his sharp jawline, his brown hair softly framing his face. He must’ve caught on because his eyes are awkwardly drifting from you, around the room— back to you. 

“Nice to meet you, Yeosang.” You giggle. “Let me know if you need anything then, happy to show you around the town, too!” You respond cheerfully and Yeosang is almost puzzled at the energy you’re giving towards a stranger like himself. A reserved, awkward stranger at that.

“Sounds good. Thanks.” 

“I’ll be back with your food.” He nods. This time, it’s Yeosang’s turn to watch as you sway your hips and walk away from the table— greeting everyone along the way with that same smile, that same energy. Everything about you seems contagious, your laugh loud enough to bounce off the walls even with the music blasting through the speakers. But, it’s cute. It’s warm and oddly comforting to hear your laugh. It just reminds him that it’s the little things; that he’s here getting his time away from home to be in his own peace. Away from the familiar, from the hustle and bustle of the city life.

“Who is that guy? I feel like I’ve never seen him before.” Jungkook pushes the basket of popcorn chicken your way. 

“Mm. A visitor.” You shrug.

“We don’t get a lot of those nowadays.” He laughs. “Looks like you were tryna get friendly on the dude?”

“Hush, I just want him to feel welcomed.” Jungkook smirks.

“Okay. You do that.” He leans over the counter. “Aye! Make sure that chicken actually makes it to him, too. You little thief.” You look over your shoulder and flip him off with a laugh.

“Bro, can one of you change the music?” You shout over to Keeho and Mingi standing off to the side, not working per usual.

“What’s wrong with the song?” Mingi furrows his brows at the Spotify playlist.

“It’s too slow. Give me Bad Bunny or something?”

“Girl, we are not at a club. There are elderly people here. Calm down.” Keeho looks through the playlist. “Let’s just put on Jungkook’s covers.” Him and Mingi laugh.

“Hey!” Jungkook yells from the kitchen. “I knew I should’ve never sent you guys my covers. Assholes.” He points the spatula their way. Eventually, they decide to stick with some 90s music, throwing on Bring It All To Me by Blaque and Nsync to kick off the playlist. You give the boys a thumbs up as you bob your head and dance to the beat, making your way over to Yeosang with his basket of popcorn chicken.

“Here you go.” You smile at him and he gives you a tiny one in response.

“Thank you.” He pokes at one with the toothpick, popping it into his mouth.

“How long are you here for?” You move around the table to be directly in his view.

“A month.” Your eyes widen.

“A month?! In this ‘lil town?”

“Well..” Yeosang looks at you, brows furrowed. “I’m from the city so it’s different. It’s just..” He pauses, not sure why he’s explaining himself to a complete stranger. You get it, though. You’ve been there. “It’s new scenery.”

“Are you visiting someone, or do you have specific plans?” Yeosang looks at you before shrugging.

“Not really. Am I supposed to?”

“Just wondering what’d you do out here for a whole month.” You give him a small smile.

“I plan to do nothing but enjoy myself. Didn’t really think that would be an issue.” He looks at you and you chuckle.

“No, of course not. That sounds like a good time. I hope you do enjoy yourself.” You pull out a pen from the apron’s pocket and scribble out your number on a napkin. “If you ever need some recommendations, text me. I’ll be happy to help.” You pass it along to him and he simply looks down at it. He doesn’t wanna be rude, but he is also grateful you offered. Though, the whole point of him coming out here was to be alone and be in his own peace. The last thing he wants to do is get wrapped up in something, someone, else when he doesn’t plan on staying or making this a frequent vacation destination.

“Cool, thanks.”

“Where are you staying?” 

“An in-law studio down the street, opposite end of the beach.”

“Oh, cute.” You smile at him cutely again. “Well, enjoy your little vacation, Yeosang. It was nice meeting you. Is there anything else I can get you?”

“I’m all good.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I should head out. I’m pretty exhausted from the trek over.”

“Okay then. You can call me when you’re ready to pay or pay upfront with Keeho.” You give him a little, innocent wink and Yeosang can’t help but think your attitude is cute. Enticing, even. But, he brushes it off quickly because he really doesn’t think he can afford to cling onto someone, rely on someone.

He is here for his own peace.

When Yeosang wraps up his dinner, he tidies up as much as possible at the table and grabs the napkin with your number before heading to the register to pay. Keeho quickly rings him up and sends him on his way, telling him to visit again soon. All Yeo can do in return is nod, taking a mint candy on the way out.

“Where’d you go for dinner?” 

“Some restaurant down the street. Had good reviews.” Yeosang plops onto his bed after washing up and getting into his pajamas.

“Did you like it? How are the people there so far?”

“Good, I guess? The restaurant was cool. I just had something small to eat cause I wasn’t too hungry. The people working there were probably around our age. Lots of the reviews talked about the attractive staff.” Wooyoung snorts.

“Did they live up to your expectations?”

“Honestly, I can see why people are talking about it so much. The girl who served me was—”

“—Was a baddie?!”

“Dude, relax.” Yeosang laughs a bit. “She was pretty. Really outgoing.”

“Maybe she thinks you’re hot and wants to fuck.”

“We’re not all like you.” Yeosang repeats.

“Hey, it might be fun, though. You could use some friends while you’re there. Jeez. Ask her to hang out or something. Don’t be lame just cause you’re in a brand new town, that isn’t the point of getaway.” Yeosang doesn’t respond right away. All he can do is hum, letting Wooyoung continue to tell him that having new company will bring new memories, new stories, and he should really make the best out of his time there. For once, Wooyoung’s not entirely wrong. 

The next couple of days, Yeosang sees you around town. Whether you’re helping carry tubs of fresh fish into the market, talking to the elderly at the community center or chopping it up with the barista at the nearby coffee shop. You are everywhere and nowhere all at once, and Yeosang feels like it’ll be hard to dodge you while being here. Not because he’s a careless, cold asshole but because he just finds his independence important. His top priority. His daily reminder of why he’s out here. But needless to say, even if he can’t dodge you, he finds that he isn’t entirely mad about it. When Yeosang sees you next, you’re hauling in heavy ass packs of water into another restaurant. He pauses for a second, watching how you easily lift up the pack and bring it inside, oblivious to his standing figure ahead. He finally pulls himself out of it and rushes over, blocking you from carrying the last pack.

“You shouldn’t be carrying that.” Yeosang says, grabbing the heavy pack of water into the restaurant and setting it down on the counter. “Be careful next time?”

“Thank you.” You smile sweetly at him. “Didn’t mean to put you to work on your vacay.” He chuckles.

“Nah, it’s nothing. I’m not gonna let you just haul that in.” You place your hand on your hip and giggle.

“What have you been up to, Yeosang? How’s town treating you?”

“Uh, good? I’ve just been walking around nearby. Hanging out at the beach.”

“Fun. You should talk to Mingi and Keeho at the restaurant, they love paddle boarding if you’re like.. interested in trying something new.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He tucks his hands into his pockets. “Do you work here, too?” You shake your head.

“Just like being a good neighbor and helping out whenever I can.” He nods.

“That’s sweet of you.”

“Gonna stop by the restaurant again tonight? There’s gonna be a bonfire and movie night event. We’ll be serving beer and all that good stuff.”

“Tonight?”

“The flyers are everywhere, silly.” You point at a flyer posted on the pole behind him. “Come, it’ll be fun.”

“Mm, I’ll think about it.” You cock your head to the side and slightly pout. “Sorry, it’s just not my thing. I..” Yeosang lets out a breath as he scratches at the back of his neck. “I probably sound really lame. But, lots of people. Noise. Gets kinda overwhelming.” He shrugs.

“I understand.” You give him a tiny toothless smile. “That’s okay! I promise it won’t be too crazy, and it’s pretty chill. But, totally up to you.”

“Thanks for extending the invite.” You nod. “Any more water to carry in?” You laugh.

“Nope! Thank you again. See you around?” Yeosang nods, watching as you step into the restaurant and start helping the middle-aged lady inside despite her playful efforts of shoo’ing you away. Yeosang shifts his gaze to his two feet, kicking at the rocks beneath them before walking down the path to the grocery store. He’s kinda cursing himself for sounding so fucking lame in front of you. Lots of people? Noise? What was he thinking? It wasn’t necessarily a lie, though— he actually doesn’t like to be in crowded places for long, doesn’t really like to party or do bonfires, socialize for long periods of time with people he doesn’t know well. Is the type of person to join a team dinner for the free food but will be gone in the next hour or so. Will join a work party because he feels obligated to show face for at least an hour before rushing home to get in bed. But, he’s cursing himself because he is on vacation, exploring new territory and breathing in new scenery. He should have some fun. He should’ve tried a little harder to sound a bit more interested.

“Jesus, Kang Yeosang.” He mutters to himself before shaking his head and heading off to the grocery store to grab some necessities for the studio.

That evening comes quickly, and Yeosang is pacing back and forth in his studio, wondering if he should just say fuck it and join the festivities. He’d say he decided pretty quickly despite the internal battle of what to wear— the stress and overthinking almost causing him to back out.

Sooner or later, he finds himself staring out at the restaurant and beach ahead of him; feet coming to a pause when he tries to scan the crowd from where he stands, suddenly trying to find a familiar figure— you. He slowly walks over, closing in on the crowd that has gathered around the huge bonfire on the beach while the screen is getting blown up on the side to prepare for the movie. He’s pretty late, maybe a good hour and a half since everything started. No one seems to pay him any mind, and it’s almost enough to make Yeosang turn right back around and slip back into his—

“Yeosang!” He hears a familiar voice call his name from behind, allowing his body to relax a bit. “You came!” You smile from ear to ear, placing a basket full of fried squid down for the people lounging nearby.

“Couldn’t hurt to check it out.” You chuckle.

“You’ll enjoy it. Promise. Want me to grab you some beer? Any food?”

“Beer is good. Thank you.” He gives you a tiny, toothless smile. You give him a nod in acknowledgement before you scurry off into the restaurant and grab a beer bottle.

“Hey, he came?” Jungkook comes out from the kitchen, taking a break from all the cooking he’s been doing.

“Yeah.”

“Must like you.”

“Can you give it a break?” You laugh a bit. “He’s exploring a new town for a month.”

“Cute.” He wiggles his eyebrows, following you out onto the front patio that flows onto the beach.

“Here.” You hand Yeosang the bottle. “This is Jungkook, by the way. Our main chef. Jungkook, Yeosang.”

“Nice to meet you. Hope she hasn’t been running you up the wall already.” You nudge him and he lets out a small yelp, hand over his stomach before his free hand reaches for a hand shake. “Kidding—fuck.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Yeosang chuckles.

“Oh, hey. You were at the restaurant a couple of days ago. I rang you up.” Keeho and Mingi come from the side of the restaurant, hauling out a cooler full of more beer and canned cocktails. “Keeho. Mingi.” He points to himself before pointing at Mingi.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Movie’s about to start in the next 15 minutes.” Jungkook pops open one of the cans and drags a chair out to the sand, greeting people along the way before he finds a good spot.

“Gonna stay for the movie?” Mingi asks Yeosang. He can’t help but shift his attention to you for a brief second, hoping you’d have the answer for whatever reason. You look up at him with those cute, doe-eyes, subtly nodding with a small smile creeping up at the corner of your lips.

“Yeah, for a bit.” He returns his attention to Mingi.

“Cool. There’s some bean bags there you can grab to sit on!” Him and Keeho start heading out to sit next to Jungkook and a few other people from town.

“Come.” You call him over towards the bean bags set off to the side. “We can sit over here, give us some distance from people.” You drag a bean bag near the side, still good to see the screen but distant enough so you weren’t mixed within the crowd.

“I— You don’t have to sit here and be away from your friends.” You laugh and plop down onto the bean bag.

“Trust me, it’s nice to be away from them. I see them every day.” Yeosang slowly nods, setting his bean bag next to yours. 

“What movie’s playing?”

“Dune.”

“Interesting.” Yeosang looks around as he settles into the bag comfortably, legs slightly spread while he leans back. “Are people gonna be out here for the entire movie?”

“Mhm. You really don’t have to stay for the entire thing, though.” You point at the restaurant. “Do you wanna share some snacks? Candy? Popcorn?”

“Sure? Anything you grab is good with me.” You give him a tiny smile before heading to the restaurant and scooping a big helping of the candy salad you, Keeho and Mingi made earlier for people to help themselves to. It had some sour worms, gummy bears, other gummies and fruity candy. 

When you get back, the movie is already starting and the chatter from people has died down around you. The night is perfect— the stars are painting the skies, the temperature perfectly warm and still. Yeosang is already paying full attention to the movie, finding interest in it that he didn’t think he’d have initially. You gently nudge him with the bowl, allowing him to snack on a few gummies. At some point, Yeosang accidentally dips his hand into the bowl at the same time as you; grazing your hand slightly and flinching at the contact. He lets out a low ‘sorry,’ shifting in his seat at the awkward encounter. When it finally hits the 2-hr mark, you’re actually getting kinda tired of sitting there and don’t think you can wait until the rest of the 30 mins or so are up. It had been a long day, and as much as you wanna hang out and kick it ‘till the end, you find your body getting hit with exhaustion earlier than expected. You stand to your feet and head back into the restaurant, cleaning up what you can to give the boys less work later on. 

“Need help?” You turn to find Yeosang standing there, hands dug into his pockets as you wash a few dishes and set them on the drying rack.

“No. The boys can handle the rest.” You dry off your hands. “Thank you, though.”

“Are you heading back to the movie?”

“Probably not. I think I’m gonna call it a night, exhaustion hit me out of nowhere.”

“Can I walk you?”

“I’ll be fine. You should catch the rest of it, you looked like you were into it!” You giggle.

“I can always catch it another time.” You stare into his eyes for a brief second before clearing your throat and nodding, tossing the paper towel away before grabbing your things. 

“What, you’re leaving?! That’s new.” Keeho says, coming into the restaurant to place a few more dirty dishes off to the side.

“Exhausted, my dude.” He looks at you up and down before looking at Yeosang, patiently waiting off to the side of the restaurant for you.

“Mhm. Sure.” He says lowly. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Just walking me home.”

“Uh huh, that’s how it all starts.” You snort and punch him on the bicep.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Aye, you’re opening, remember!” Keeho calls out as you meet Yeosang. You wave in acknowledgement before heading out, throwing on your bag strap and letting it hang over your shoulder. The walk is pretty quiet at first, but it isn’t uncomfortable for you. Maybe for Yeosang, but not you. He’s the first to break the silence though, surprising you again with his curiousity.

“Do you work at the restaurant every day?”

“For the most part. Otherwise I’m either around town or helping at the animal shelter.”

“The animal shelter?” You nod.

“One of my favorite things to do.”

“That’s cool.”

“Have you found anything interesting while you’ve been here? Anything you’re planning to do?”

“Mm, not really. To be honest, I just wanted to get away from the city. There wasn’t a huge goal to explore the town or find new hobbies.” He looks at you before looking down at his feet.

“Well, I’m sure either way you’ll find things to enjoy.” You point down the street. “I just live right over there, by the way. You don’t really have to walk me all the way.”

“It’s alright.”

“Did you at least enjoy hanging out a bit?”

“Yeah. T’was nice to see people get together.”

“It’s a small town. We don’t have much to do in the first place.” You laugh. “Everyone’s really chill, though. Soon, you’ll be able to pick out familiar faces, overhear the same names being thrown around, get used to who is working where, what the restaurant specialties are.” 

“I think I’m slowly getting there.” Yeosang looks at you. 

“Besides me, silly.” You continue to keep eye contact with him. “Hey. Do you have any siblings?”

“No.”

“Are your parents from the city?”

“Yeah.” 

“Are you close to them?”

“As can be, I guess?”

“Hm.” You hum. “So, you see them often?”

“I do.” You look down at your feet, and it’s easy for Yeosang to tell that something is on your mind. He won’t pry though, he doesn’t necessarily think he has the right to. Nor is it his place to.

“They were okay with you up and leaving for a month?” He shrugs.

“I mean, I am coming back.” He chuckles a bit. “They understood.”

“That’s nice.” Is all you respond with.

“Soo..” Yeosang kicks at the rocks. “You’re working the early shift tomorrow then..?”

“To the shelter.”

“I see.”

“What do you plan to do?”

“I don’t know. Hang out at the beach some more?”

“When are you gonna stop by the restaurant again?” You giggle, treading up the hill before turning the corner to your building. The building isn’t entirely fancy, nor is it completely run down. It’s cozy enough to house 18 units— your studio one of two on the very first level. Yeosang pauses in his steps when he sees you fishing for your keys in your bag, doing his best to give you space and not wanting to intrude.

“One of these days.”

“You plan to be back?” Yeosang chuckles a bit and nods.

“At some point during my month’s stay I’m gonna have to.”

“Thanks for walking me home. Hope you enjoyed tonight, even though we didn’t finish the movie and stuff.” He gives you a toothless smile.

“Yeah.”

“Goodnight.” You look at him once more before unlocking the lobby door, stepping in to make your way to your safe space.

In the next few days, you run into Yeosang a lot. Even if it’s inevitable with how small the town is, there are people in town that you don’t see for weeks on end. For reasons why, you aren’t sure. Wrong timing, other plans, your own schedule being pretty busy between the restaurant and the shelter. But you’ve been seeing Yeosang every day since he walked you home; whether it be across the street, a glimpse at the convenience store, checking out at the grocery store, at the beach. You’re not gonna lie, Yeosang is attractive, but there’s more to him and you’re curious to find out. You want to know more about him, why he’s here for a month, why he decided he needed a break from the city. Something about him is intriguing to you.

Tonight, you’re wrapping up at the shelter; folding the remaining washed blankets and towels from the dryer before taking out the trash. To your surprise, Yeosang is walking down the street from the nearby gym and sauna, spotting you first before you even have the chance to.

“Y/N?” He stops in his tracks, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. You turn just as you toss the hefty trash bag into the dumpster, safely removing your gloves from each hand before tossing them into the bin as well.

“Oh hey you!” You wave and smile at him, and for some reason, it’s starting to make Yeosang weak. You always show off the beautiful smile and that same energy, it’s no wonder you pull everyone in.

“Is this the shelter?” Yeosang asks, eyeing the building. It’s rather small, and there’s not much of a giveaway that it’s a shelter. Still, Yeosang feels kinda silly for asking.

“Mhm. Come!” You wave him in as you stand at the back door.

“Uh. I’m kinda gross and sweaty from the gym.”

“I really don’t care.” You laugh. “Come. I can show you the babies.” Yeosang doesn’t say anything in response, and instead, walks in while tugging his duffle bag close. “You can leave your bag here. It’s just me and I’ll be closing up soon.” You show him to the laundry room. Yeosang sits his bag on the counter before following you out of the back area and into the shelter itself— dogs in individual rooms, while cats, bunnies and a few other small animals [snakes, birds] are off to two other rooms at the other end. “The wildlife center and vet are in the building next door. I don’t go there much unless they need extra hands, but that’s rare.”

“Woah.” He mutters to himself when he sees the huge, black doberman peacefully sleeping in his room. He slowly walks past and smiles at the tiny maltese next door, looking up at him from the cot; big, brown doe eyes that could easily melt someone’s heart. “How cute.”

“Isn’t she? This is Piper.” You point at the maltese. “That’s Ro.” You point at the doberman. “Piper was found wandering the streets, no one came looking for her.” You pout a bit. “She’s five. Ro was surrendered by his family. His owner had a stroke and is in the hospital, and no one else in the family can take care of him. He’s 8.” 

“That’s sad.” Yeosang responds softly as he stands next to you, your own shoulder only inches away from his chest. “How long have they been here?”

“Piper’s been here for about a month, while Ro has been here for 4.” You show him to the other rooms down the aisle. “Sahara, Thor, Rocky, Storm, Bruce.” You continue to tell him their name, their ages, how long they’ve been here and for what reason. The remaining dogs are a mix of chihuahas, huskies and labrador mixes. Yeosang watches as you gently coo at the dogs when they come to their door, keeping your hand on the glass to provide some sort of comfort from the other end. He smiles a bit to himself when you baby the dogs. It’s incredibly cute and sweet, and it’s obvious just how much you love being here and how much this work means to you.

You continue to take him through the rest of the adoptable animals, earning small chuckles when you tell him some cute, funny stories about your time at the shelter. It’s then that you reveal you’ve always wanted to work with animals and that it’s still eventually your goal to climb up somehow. Maybe work at a more established vet or pet hospital. Aquarium, even. Anything that’ll keep you close to them will do. Yeosang doesn’t really question why you just don’t go for it yet— he’s more of a listener than a talker, and he understands that most people won’t divulge unless they’re ready to or feel comfortable enough to. So, as always, he lets it be. Listens to your soothing voice as you continue around the shelter before you’re doing one last walkthrough and making sure all water bowls are full. You head to the back once you’re done, reuniting Yeosang with his belongings.

“Thanks for showing me around.”

“Course.”

“Can I walk you home again?” You shut off the lights to the laundry room and head out the back door, slipping the key in to lock it up for the night.

“You sure? I still have to grab some dinner.” 

“I don’t mind. I want to.” He says, and it makes you smile. “Besides, the air feels really nice right now. I’m still a bit worked up from the gym session.” You laugh.

“It’s quite chilly tonight.” You shiver at the breeze that comes through. Yeosang digs through his duffle bag and pulls out the zip-up hoodie he wore over, handing it over to you.

“Here.”

“Oh, no. Yeosang, I’m fine, I don’t—” Before you know it, he’s unzipping the jacket and draping it over your shoulders. He avoids eye contact though, it’s easy to tell he doesn’t really do these things or that it’s out of his element. “Thank you.” You say softly, hoping to reassure his actions.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m just gonna grab stuff from the convenience store.” You lead the way and skip along to the convenience store just down the street. “I won’t be long.”

“Take your time.” He follows you into the store anyway, watching as you happily grab some ramen and onigiri off the shelves. A hotdog. String cheese. Chocolate ice cream. 

“Need anything?”

“I’m good. I stocked up on some groceries so I should definitely put them to use and cook some meals.” 

“Share an ice cream with me at least?” You grab another chocolate ice cream from the freezer. 

“Sure.” You laugh as you bring your items to the cashier, helping bag the items before you’re finally out the door and indulging in your ice cream with Yeosang. You look at him again, eyeing the loose muscle tank he has on with his sweats. Ogling a tiny bit at his body through the tank.

“Good on you for keeping up with the gym while you’re away from home.” He chuckles.

“A stress reliever.”

“I bet. Jungkook goes to that gym often, pretty late though since he’s always at the restaurant.”

“Does he own the restaurant?”

“His family does. They pop in from time to time, but Jungkook has taken over for the most part.”

“I see. I’m guessing you’ve known them for awhile?” You smirk.

“Enough for me to be liked and hired.” 

“How long have you known Keeho and Mingi?”

“Mm, I’ve known all of them for a bit over 2 years. Mingi and Keeho were at the restaurant before me, but I just got close to them as I started there.”

“Where were you before that, if you don’t mind me asking?” You smile.

“Yeosang is interested in getting to know me?” He laughs a bit and shakes his head.

“I’m just curious, but you don’t have to share if you don’t wanna.”

“I was in school. Around. Getting my life together— well, still am I guess.”

“Hm.” He hums. “We’re not that far apart. I graduated 3 years ago.”

“What’d you graduate in, and where do you work?”

“Business. I work as a finance manager for a pharmaceutical company.”

“Woah, big shot.” He laughs shyly.

“No, not even.”

“Do you like it?” He shrugs.

“Yeah, I can’t complain. I’ve met my good friends there.”

“That’s always nice, isn’t it?” You look up with a toothless smile before eating more of your chocolate ice cream. “That’s always the best. I’m sure they miss you.”

“Ah, they’re doing alright. They can survive.” You nod.

“Hey, have you gone hiking yet at the falls?” He raises a brow.

“You guys have that here?” You snort.

“You’re funny. You’d have to go back to the outskirts to find the trail.” You start walking backwards to keep your eyes on him. “We should go one day, yeah? Maybe I can show you to other spots further in town.”

“Sure, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t. I haven’t gone hiking in awhile and it’s perfect right now. The water is probably rushing through the cascades, making it all pretty and everything.”

“When are you free?”

“This weekend. I finally have it off after some months.”

“You’d be okay spending your free weekend showing me around?”

“I wouldn’t have offered at the restaurant if I didn’t want to.” You giggle and Yeosang feels his heart do some flips. Familiar with the unfamiliar— he hadn’t felt this in a long, long time. Though, he didn’t expect to feel it with a stranger he had bumped into on his little vacation away from home. Wasn’t even his goal and he didn’t mean to do so, but here he is. Going about every day growing more curious about you.

“Well, just remember this if you ever use it against me.” You laugh loudly and turn to start skipping ahead towards your building.

“I will.” You toss your empty ice cream container into the trash, with Yeosang following suit. “Thanks for walking me home again.” You unzip his jacket and hand it over to him. “I’m only a few steps away from warmth.” He gently takes his jacket back.

“No biggie. These walks help me get my steps in, but thanks for the ice cream? It’s like a reward.”

“Of course.” You give him another sweet smile, eyes locked onto his but it doesn’t make him the least bit uncomfortable. “At least stop by the restaurant tomorrow. Breakfast is good.” He gives you a small, reassuring smile; tugging on his bag strap before shifting his weight from one foot to another.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Goodnight, Yeosang.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He waits until you’ve slipped through the lobby door, turning on his heel with a small smile on his face, finding comfort in your presence that it feels a little difficult to walk away. He does walk away though because he finds himself uninteresting. Even if he stayed to hang out, how could he entertain you and keep you interested?

“Yeosang’s out there.” Jungkook nods towards the street, watching Yeosang finish up a run.

“I told him to come by for breakfast.” He smirks at you before setting the napkins into the holder on the table.

“Oh, you did now?”

“Jeon Jungkook.” You give him a look and he snorts.

“So, remind me again— you were or weren’t trying to get friendly on the dude?”

“It doesn’t hurt to have a friend while he’s around! I offered to show him further into town and take him on the hike.”

“Cute.” He laughs. “Make sure he doesn’t hurt you though, or else I’ll come with my spatula and shit.”

“Or, make sure this girl doesn’t go toying around with his feelings.” Keeho adds, sliding into the main dining area from the back. “Right?” Keeho looks at you and you roll your eyes.

“Not even.”

“What about that one dude that stayed here for a few months? You had a ‘lil fling with him before he ended up leaving cause he hated seeing you around after you rejected him.” Keeho puckers his lips. “Months of tussling in the bed ain’t give him nothing but heartbreak. Sheesh.”

“Okay, I didn’t plan for that to happen! And he was weirdly possessive even while we were messing around. I already told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the time.”

“She did tell him.” Jungkook shrugs. “And I do have to say, he was a little weird. Too clingy and needy. At the restaurant every hour. Couldn’t give Y/N space to breathe for someone who’s a fuckbuddy.”

“What about Keeho’s friend that visited? I forgot his name.” Mingi chimes in, helping himself to a bowl of breakfast.

“Don’t remind me, dude. He still cries about it.”

“So dramatic.” You cross your arms. “My bad for not wanting something serious during those times. You can’t say I didn’t tell them because I did.”

“Mm, but you were pretty harsh about it in the end, too. You blocked him on everything and acted like he didn’t exist. That’s why he still fucking cries about it.” You shake your head.

“What’re you planning with him?” Mingi cuts in as he watches Yeosang’s figure, still on his way towards the restaurant. “He genuinely looks like a good guy.”

“Why do I need to have a plan, Mingi?” You shoot him a look. “He’s cool. Just trying to be a good friend to him while he’s around.”

“Mhm. Won’t be surprised when you start batting those little eyelashes and twirling your hair in front of him. Go ahead then, bae.” Keeho smacks his lips together before walking off to tend to the customers that just walked in. When Yeosang finally arrives, he’s in a windbreaker and pants, his hair still beautifully parted and intact despite the small breeze outside. He looks incredibly ethereal for someone who had just gone on a run, and it almost makes you buckle at the knees the more you stare.

“Hey.” You break your thoughts and smile at him. “You made it!”

“Someone told me I could grab a good breakfast here.” You laugh and show him to a table, letting him get comfortable.

“Whoever it was, was right. How was your run?”

“A good long 3 miles.”

“You’re insane.” You snort. “Gym last night, 3 miles in the morning? You basically ran around town.” He laughs and shakes his head.

“I just needed to get my cardio in. Definitely didn’t enjoy it.”

“Well, do you have anything specific in mind for breakfast or can I surprise you?”

“A surprise sounds nice.”

“Got you.” You gently tap the table before heading to the back, putting in an order for today’s breakfast special. You fill up a glass full of freshly squeezed orange juice and take it to the table before dropping off food to the other customers. 

“Got a plate for your man.” Jungkook slides the breakfast special to you, making you chuckle.

“You’re a piece of shit. Thank you.” You raise the plate before sticking out your tongue and walking off to Yeosang again. “Enjoy.” You look at him with a small smile, watching his eyes light up at the food on the plate. He immediately digs in and nods happily, making you giggle at how cute he looks right now.

“Please tell Jungkook he’s an amazing cook.”

“Never. He’ll never let it go.” You laugh. “But sure, I’ll make sure to relay the message for you. Any other plans today?” He shakes his head.

“Not that I know of yet.” You nod, looking back at new customers that need assistance.

“Well. Let me know if you need help figuring it out.” You slide him a few napkins. “Sorry, I’ll be back to check on you later.” You rush over to the customers and greet them happily, they can’t help but smile and laugh along with you. Yeosang doesn’t mean to let his eyes linger for long, but he finds your energy captivating and he’s got a pull to you.

It doesn’t help that the restaurant gets quite busy during peak breakfast hours and you’re barely checking in on him. He feels a bit lonely, though he knows you’re at work and he shouldn’t expect to converse with you much.

“I’m so sorry, it just got really busy out of nowhere.” You pout a bit when you finally stop by to grab his empty plate. “Can I get you anything else?” He shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, Y/N.” He chuckles. “I’m all good.” You rush over to drop his empty dishes in the dirty pile, grabbing his check to hand over.

“I’ll see you around?” You give him a smile before you run off again, leaving him to take the check to Mingi at the front.

“Enjoy your breakfast?” Yeo nods.

“Yeah, it was great.”

“Any other plans for the day?”

“Nah, not yet. Probably hang out at the beach tonight, figure out the rest later.”

“That’s always a good one. Get Y/N to go with you. She’s usually out there at night from time to time.”

“Oh, really? Doing what?”

“Just to chill. She also tries to collect shells, but I swear, they’re all the same out there. I don’t know what else she wants.” Mingi shakes his head. “Anyway, see you next time, my guy.”

“Sounds good.” Yeosang slips a tip into the tip jar before heading back out to his humble abode. When he gets back, he takes a good shower and plops onto the bed in a new change of clothes. He pulls up the game on his phone to play for a bit before researching a few more things to do in the coming weeks. But, he isn’t sure what’s worth visiting and what’s worth passing on. Then, he falls asleep for a good hour or so [maybe nearing 2] before he gets up and decides to stop being boring. He’ll explore around the other end of town, see what places are around and what scenic views he can take pictures of. Then.. what?

He remembers he still has your number in his jacket, and he’s considering taking up the offer of letting you show him around [or at the very least, guide him to places he should visit]. When he gets back from his trek around the opposite end of town with a few goodies in hand, he realizes it’ll be dinner soon and that he should really decide on what to do tonight. He whips the number out of his jacket pocket and stares at it for a good while, wondering if he should just say fuck it and text you.

Yeah, well. Fuck it. What does he have to lose at this point?

[unknown number]: hey, it’s yeosang 

[you]: hey you ☺️ you’re actually putting my number to use?! lol

[yeosang]: lol yeah sorry, i just don’t really wanna be a bother to anyone

[you]: you aren’t! how can i help? 

[yeosang]: if you’re free.. i was wondering if you’d like to hang out at the beach?

[yeosang]: also don’t feel obligated, i just thought it’d be nice cause the weather .. and i haven’t really had the chance to hang out there 

[yeosang]: plus.. i don’t know any other places just yet..

[yeosang]:i’m rambling lol i'm sorry

[you]: nooooo you’re not! i’d love to join! i can meet you near the paddleboard rentals? i’ll bring some food!

[yeosang]: you don’t have to bring food!

[you]: i want to! i’ll be there in 30 mins.

[yeosang]: sounds good!

Yeosang smiles to himself as he goes through the fridge and kitchen to see if there’s anything he can bring. He does have an unopened soju bottle that he decides on bringing, in case you wanted to have a drink with him while eating good food. Plus, water. Can’t go wrong with water. And he’s glad he did because when he finally sees you near the paddleboard rentals, you’re hauling food on food on food.

“Why’d you bring so much food?” Yeo laughs as he watches you roll out the blanket for you two to sit on. You take the initiative to sit down and pat the space next to you. Yeosang gently places the food down in front of you before sticking the soju bottle into the sand to keep it standing upright.

“I just wanted to make sure we had enough!” You pop open the tupperwares of ramen and side dishes, handing Yeosang a small plate for him to use. “You brought soju! I love this one!”

“Does that give me brownie points?” You laugh.

“Yeah, it does. Mind if I open it?”

“Go for it.” You pop open the soju and pour some for both you and Yeosang in the paper cups you have. “Cheers!” You tap your cup against his before you both take the shots to the next, instantly feeling the warmth run down your throat and into your tummy. “What else did you do today?”

“Nothing besides walk down the opposite end of town.”

“Like actually?”

“I don’t really know where to go, so I was gonna wait for you to show me and tell me.” You playfully gasp.

“Finally using little ol me for more help?!”

“Unless you take it back, then fine whatever.. I’ll get around.” He pretends to act upset.

“Never.” You giggle and pour another shot. “Of course. First, we gotta tackle that hike. I’ll send you some places too over text so you can check them out when you have time.”

“You won’t come along?” You smile at him and hand his cup.

“I wish I could, but you know, work. The shelter. Helping around town.”

“Right..” Yeosang nods, silently tapping his cup against yours before taking the shot. The sun finally rests below the horizon and you and Yeosang are still talking about town and the little things here and there. You find that it’s really easy to talk to him, even if he doesn’t chime in much. He listens, and he can admit your voice is always nice to hear. The both of you indulge in the food in between sipping on the soju and discussing random things you both like and dislike.

At some point, there’s a pause in the conversation, and you’re just looking out at the sea, the night sky.

Yeosang is taking pictures of his surroundings and he turns his camera your way. He decides to ask for permission first before snapping a photo you don’t even wanna be in.

“I’m just taking pictures. Are you okay with that?” You laugh at how cutely awkward the question comes out of his mouth.

“No worries, I don’t mind. Should I pose or act natural? Candid?”

“Just do whatever feels natural.” He says, snapping a photo of you looking out at the view. “I promised my bestfriend I’d take photos even though I usually don’t.”

“Your bestfriend, hm?”

“Yeah. His name is Wooyoung, and he’s a level 10 pain in the ass. He’s definitely gonna ask to see them. If not, maybe my parents.”

“Cute. I agree with Wooyoung. Do it for the memories.” 

“Taking his side already and you haven’t even met him.”

“I just agree, okay.” You laugh before leaving a pause in the conversation again. “It’s nice that you seem close with your parents.” You blurt all of a sudden, making Yeosang turn to you as you continue to look out at the water.

“I mean, we’re okay. We aren’t perfect.” He adds. “Why do you say that? Are you not close to yours?” He realizes he’s never really heard you talk about your family like that, nor has he even tried to ask. To be honest, he just doesn’t want to be in your business and make you uncomfortable. But, you seemed to open up first tonight, so he’ll continue to go with it.

“No.” You let out a tiny, pathetic chuckle before shaking your head. “They keep trying to force their own plans and dreams on me. Trying to make me something I’m not.”

“I’m sorry. When was the last time you talked to them?”

“They still try to text or call from time to time but I don’t respond.”

“I’m assuming they don’t know you’re here.” Yeosang catches on quick. He won’t judge though, he gets it. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to find some peace. Ain’t the easiest decisions, but worth it for that moment of clarity and calmness.

“No, they don’t. They keep trying to figure it out, but over time, they’ve kinda learned to just let me be. We had a really bad fight before I upped and left.”

“Does anyone know you’re here?”

“My cousin. He’s the closest thing I’ve had to a little brother.”

“That’s good, at least. He checks up on you?”

“He does.” You turn to Yeosang and give him a toothless smile.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what were your parents trying to force on you?”

“I come from a strong, scientific and medical family. If they’re not doctors or nurses, they’re working in research with advanced degrees.”

“Oof.” Yeosang audibly says and you giggle. “Your mom and dad?”

“My dad is a neurosurgeon and my mom is a nurse.”

“Okay, well. I see they’d have big fucking expectations.”

“You think?” You laugh.

“And you wanna work with animals, right?” 

“I do. I’ve always wanted take care of animals. Be around them. Maybe work in a vet. Aquarium? Sanctuary? Idk what or where exactly.”

“Makes sense.” He nods, realizing why you’re so passionate about the shelter and the work you do there. “I mean, that’s kinda close, no? Animals are technically considered science or.. related.” Yeosang shrugs.

“Mm, they don’t look at it that way, though. I either have to be a nurse or doctor. Or a professor, or researcher, with a PhD in hand. Or else I got a kiddy job.” You chuckle. “Oh well. Maybe one day they’ll accept that I’m just different from them.”

“They will. I know it’s not really my place to say this but I’m sure they’re realizing and they miss you.”

“Yeah.” Is all you say. “Can I ask you something a little more personal?”

“Uh, sure. I don’t do nudes, though.” You playfully punch him on the bicep.

“No, you idiot.” You laugh. “Are you dating someone? Or well, I guess you would’ve come here with them if you were, right? I dunno. Maybe you needed space from them, too.” You shake off the thoughts to let him answer. Cute, he thinks. 

“No, I’m not.” 

“Interesting.”

“Okay, now why do you say that?”

“I don’t know, you’re good looking as hell?” He laughs.

“Thanks.” You can see him shying away from the compliment, smiling down at the sand and biting his lip from letting it grow too big. “I haven’t dated since college. My ex and I broke up after graduation because we were just busy and living two different lives. No bad blood, though.” You nod.

“You haven’t had any flings or like, hookups? One night stands?”

“No. Well.” He pauses. “I take that back. I have, but they never lasted for long. I— uh, I have a hard time doing that cause I’m someone who likes to be emotionally invested, too. I don’t know how people do it without letting emotions get involved.”

“That’s valid. I won’t argue with that.” You sip on your water. “What about at work?”

“What do you mean at work?”

“You haven’t dated anyone from work?”

“God, no. Do you know how messy that sounds?” You snort.

“My bad. You’re right.”

“I think.. one of my good friends has feelings for me, though.” 

“So, why not go for it?” He looks at you for a second while he thinks about his response, then turns to the sky.

“Honestly, I just don’t see her that way. I tried to see where it’d go, don’t get me wrong. But, we’re good as friends. I don’t wanna ruin that and I especially don’t wanna hurt her.”

“You’re sweet.”

“Am I? I feel terrible because I feel like I’m already hurting her.”

“How so? It’s not like you two decided on anything, right?” He shakes his head.

“No. She doesn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable or force anything. But since it’s not something we’ve talked about, I almost feel like she thinks that window will always be open. Like she’ll have a chance eventually. I just can’t see her like that, though. Really.” He lets out a breath. “Sorry, I probably sound like a broken record?”

“Stop apologizing, Yeosang. You don’t. I like hearing you talk.” You smile. “If it makes you feel better, you’re not an asshole and you’re not hurting her. You won’t. Most guys won’t even take the time to think about things like this. The time will come when you two have to address it, and I know you’ll be honest about it. It’ll probably sting for her, but I’m sure she’ll be grateful and it’ll be more than what she can ask for. Instead of you leading her on and actually making her think she has a chance, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Cut yourself some slack.” You nudge him a bit.

“What about you?”

“Relationships?” He nods. “Uh, well. My ex and I broke up and it was pretty nasty. Other than that, I’ve had the unserious, young love high school relationship.”

“When did you guys break up?”

“Mm. Let’s just say it wasn’t too, too long ago.” You look down at your hands. “Yeah, it was not pretty.” He can tell you’re not willing to open up about this part of your life, and that’s okay. Maybe one day, before he leaves, you’ll confide in him about it. He can only hope you are okay. You wanna say that it was just right after graduation, though. You wanna tell Yeosang that not only did you feel like you were losing your parents, but your relationship, too. You wanna tell him he was a fucking cheater and treated you like shit, too. You ran here because of him and your family. You ran because it was the easiest thing to do to get away from the pain and hurt, the betrayal. But, you keep silent. Yeosang is becoming someone you enjoy. You like his company and you don’t wanna scare him off with your silly problems, and your trust and self-esteem issues. 

“Does it still bother you?” You shake your head.

“Not at all.” You lie. Because yes, it does. It still hurts, and you still don’t understand what you did wrong. The only thing that’s different now is that you’ve managed to put a cap on it and continue on with your life hoping one day, someone will see your worth.

“Good. Whatever happened, hope you know it wasn’t your fault and your ex was a piece of shit.” You laugh loudly and push him teasingly.

“How would you even know it was his fault, hm? What if it was me?!”

“I don’t know if it’s his fault but he still played a part in it, so I stand by what I said.” You giggle.

“You’re funny.”

“Glad you at least think so.” He smiles at you, and lets his eyes linger for a little longer than usual. The moonlight is hitting you perfectly at all angles and Yeosang can’t help but think about how fucking pretty you are. So much for going solo on this trip. He might just be tipsy, but he’s actually looking forward to spending more time with you. A fresh face to get to know and hang out with. Someone equally intriguing and personable. Yeosang knows you’ll be a problem for him and he doesn’t care to look at the consequences right at this moment.

“What?” You look at him and he snorts.

“Nothing.”

“What? Do I have something on my face?!” He laughs.

“No, no. It’s not that.”

“Then, what?! You’re making me shy.” He shakes his head.

“You’re pretty.” He clears his throat. “I mean, t-the moonlight. It looks pretty on you.”

“Well, thanks.” You giggle. “The moonlight looks pretty on you, too.” You lick your lips. “So, the hike this weekend. Wanna meet up at my apartment around 6am?”

“6am?!” Yeosang’s tone raises. “Jesus Christ. Why so early?”

“Unless you wanna hike underneath the afternoon sun and die?!”

“Okay, point taken.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“6am it is, then.”

“Jeez, contain your excitement or something.” You tease, continuing to eat at your plate. “Hey. What’s your last name?”

“Kang. Kang Yeosang.”

“That’s a nice name.”

“And yours?”

“Y/L/N.”

“Pretty.” He mutters. You’re having to break contact first, beginning to clean up the mess around you to distract yourself from Yeosang.

“Anyway, all good?” You finish your food and point at the nearly empty containers of food still sitting around.

“Mhm. Thank you. Can I repay you for the food?”

“No, I offered, silly. It didn’t take me long to make.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. Let me get this cleaned up. I wanna head out to the water before we go.” Yeosang quietly helps you clean up and pack the tupperwares into the bag before rolling up your blanket. You set it aside before stepping closer to the water, Yeosang trailing behind as he watches you crouch down and pick at the sand. 

“What’re you doing, Y/N?” He asks with a small chuckle.

“There’s a crab. He’s trying to get into his new shell.” He watches as you help the hermit crab inhabit a new shell and he thinks it’s the cutest fucking thing he’s ever seen in such a long time. “All good!” You watch as the hermit crab waddles away in its new home before picking up another shell nearby. “Isn’t it pretty?” You show him.

“It is.”

“Thanks for inviting me to hang out.” You walk back to towards your stuff, Yeosang walking alongside of you as you head towards your apartment. “You do know you don’t have to walk me, right?”

“Y/N, I told you it was fine. If you didn’t want me around, you could’ve just said so.” You snort.

“Dramatic.”

“Ouch.” He laughs.

“Here.” You hand him the shell. “Your first souvenir, chosen by yours truly.”

“Thank you.” He takes the shell and sticks it in his pocket. “I’ll make sure to take good care of it.” 

“Good. I trust you.” 

“Working tomorrow, I assume?” You nod.

“You should paddleboard tomorrow. Keeho’s off, he’ll probably be out there.”

“Yeah, might check it out.” The rest of the walk home falls into a comfortable silence, but you don’t mind it one bit. Yeosang does his usual of giving you space when you arrive at the lobby door, fishing for your keys before you say your usual goodnights. He waits until you walk down the hall to your apartment, feeling good enough to walk away and head back to his for the night; already looking forward to spending more time with you on the weekend.

Yeosang meets you at the front of your building at 6am on the dot and he has cups of iced coffee in hand. You thank him as you grab a cup and call for a taxi to bring you to the outskirts of town, you and Yeosang already engaging in a lively conversation for 6am in the morning.

The hike surprisingly isn’t bad. Yeosang keeps close to you, hyping you up when you get tired of climbing those damn hills and needing to take a quick break. In between taking in the scenery, you both snap photos on your phone or your polaroid camera— showing Yeosang the pictures as soon as they develop. You ask him to take a picture with you that turns out cute; the both of you making silly poses before Yeosang takes the camera and shoots solo shots of you. The hike is fun; it’s full of easy conversation, lots of laughs and good vibes with Yeosang. It almost feels like you’ve known Yeosang for years with how quick you two clicked. Might’ve taken a little warming up for Yeo, but he swears there isn’t anyone who has ever pulled him out of his shell this fast [and naturally], too. The hike takes close to 3 hours with all the pauses and stops in between, and by the time you get back down to the starting point, it’s still pretty early in the day. The taxi drops you off at the front if your building and Yeosang lingers behind while you fish for your keys per usual.

“Uh, I’m gross and sweaty. How about I shower, grab some food and come back?” Yeosang asks shyly, hand scratching at the nape of his neck.

“Okay then.” You show him the code box near the lobby door. “You can press Apt #2 and I’ll be able to buzz you in. My apartment is just down that hall.”

“I’ll be back.”

“Hurry up. I hate being alone.” You tease and he blushes before licking his lips and nodding.

“I won’t take long.” You smile before walking in and parting ways with Yeosang. When you get inside your studio, you toss your things aside and step into a piping hot shower to ease your muscles. You take a good, long 30-minute shower, using your favorite coconut scrub and massaging it onto your skin before you wrap up and step out. You lotion up using the same brand as your scrub, throwing on a crewneck and shorts. You tidy up around the house, fluffing up the pillows and folding the extra blankets neatly onto the couch. By the time Yeosang is asking to be buzzed in, it’s about an hour and a half since he initially left you. 

“Hey.” He says, stepping into your studio and immediately kicking off his shoes. His eyes roam around your space, slowly walking into the kitchen to set down the bags in his hands. “Cute. The space is very.. you.”

“Why, thank you.” You do a curt bow before helping him unpack the bags. “What’d you get?”

“Bibimbap. And other snacks.” You fish out some ice cream from the side of the bag and laugh.

“Even ice cream?”

“You like melona bars, right? Please tell me you do.”

“I do. I actually really like this one.” You hold up the honeydew Melona box.

“Yessss.” He says. “More brownie points for Kang Yeosang.” You laugh, helping him carry the food to the table in the living room. You pour some water for the both of you, setting it near your bowls before getting comfortable next to him. You flip through your TV, settling for Warm Bodies that is randomly playing on one of the channels. Yeosang starts to talk about his own zombie apocalypse scenario, laying down his plans and what he’d do to survive.

“You know that game, right? The Last of Us? Like that. I probably would wanna keep it moving instead of staying stationary in one spot.”

“Oh my god.” You roll your eyes and laugh.

“What? Don’t you think about these things?”

“No!”

“You should. What’re you gonna do if you wake up tomorrow morning and the zombies have taken over?”

“I’ll stick with you.”

“What if I don’t want you with me?” You playfully punch him on the bicep and he lets out a small ‘ah’ at the contact.

“You punk, you’re so mean. I’d be useful and you’d be missing out!”

“Okay, so tell me how.”

“I just will be! I know a thing or two about boxing and muay thai! And-and, I can cook. I can make us some good shelter. I can clean weapons.”

“You’ve done boxing and muay thai?” You nod. 

“Back when I was at home, yeah.”

“Hot.”

“You’re an idiot.” You laugh. “So you want me on your team now?!”

“Yeah, just to see your boxing and muay thai moves.”

“Well, I’m not so sure I wanna be on your team anymore.”

“Fine.” Yeosang says, setting his empty plate aside. “Suit yourself.” You giggle as you run into the freezer and grab some of the ice cream for you and Yeo to chomp on.

“Hey.”

“Mm?” You turn to him with your melona bar in hand.

“Do your friends have nicknames for you?”

“They just call me Yeo.”

“Hm.” You hum. “Can I call you Sangie?”

“Sangie?” He looks at you with a slightly disgusted expression.

“Please? I don’t wanna just call you Yeo.” He looks at you and you catch the way his eyes dart from yours, down to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes. His expression softens and he lets out a small sigh before shaking his head in disbelief.

“Fine.” You squeal. “Don’t overdo it though, please. For the love of God.”

“I won’t, Sangie.” You tease and he squints at you.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You try to playfully hit him but he catches your hand in his, not letting go until you use all your power to release it from his death hold. He laughs as you pout and whine, Yeosang pinching your cheeks as a way to test the waters of being more affectionate and closer to you.

Once you finish eating your ice cream, Yeosang helps you clean up before pushing the table aside so that you two can lay comfortably in the living room floor. You find yourself getting sleepy from the hike and all the food Yeosang brought over, that you curl up into your blanket beside him while he continues to watch. He looks down and chuckles to himself, hearing soft snores coming from beneath the blanket. Sooner or later, Yeosang finds his eyes getting heavier, sinking into his position more as he gets sleepier. Yeosang follows suit and ends up falling asleep, laying flat on his back next to you with his hand lazily on his stomach. Over time, you unknowingly get wrapped up in each other’s arms. At one moment, you’re tucked underneath Yeosang’s chin. The next, your back is pressed against him while he has an arm over you. But even when you stir in your sleep and pop your eyes open for a quick second, none of it feels weird to you. You like being close to him.

Unknowingly watching new paths unfold right in front of you. Shit is crazy.

Your phone rings and you’re popping your head up to see who could possibly be calling and waking you up from your nap. Though you move to quickly grab the phone and peek at the caller ID, Yeo doesn’t do much to move away or give you space. Instead, he continues to keep an arm around you. He kinda likes that you haven’t rejected his little acts of affection and that you’ve been reciprocating in one way or another. It makes him feel more comfortable around you, and it makes him feel like he’s not the only one feeling the way that he feels. Hopefully, you see it too.

“Hold on, sorry.” You grab your phone and answer the call, sitting up as Yeosang continues to quietly lay next to you; arm loosely hanging over your legs. “Hey.”

“Yo.” Your cousin, Jeongin, greets you on the other line. “Sorry, I meant to call you earlier but I got busy.”

“All good.” You chuckle. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Guess what?”

“Hm?” You hum, your finger tracing the veins on Yeosang’s arm.

“I got an internship at one of the companies I applied for!” You squeal.

“Oh my god, congrats! I knew you would! When do you start?”

“Probably beginning of next month? I need to get through all of my paperwork and health clearances first. It’s gonna take awhile, but by next month for sure.”

“Yay! That’s awesome, Innie! I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks. I’m proud of me, too.” You snort.

“Okay, champ.”

“Hey, how’s everything down there, by the way?”

“Good.” You pause and Jeongin laughs. 

“Just good? What have you been up to?”

“Working, hanging out.”

“Uh huh.” He laughs. “You were supposed to tell me more about that visitor that came to town?” You look at Yeosang who is now looking up at you with curious eyes.

“Um, I’ll have to tell you another time.”

“Why? Is he with you right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Just.. you two?”

“Mhm.” Yeosang can obviously tell the topic has turned to him, and he can’t help but chuckle a bit at how shy and quiet you’re trying to be. Even though he's literally laying next to you with his arm sprawled across your lap.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” He smiles through the phone. “He better be good to you or else I’ll fight him.”

“Please, I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“Right.” Jeongin smiles. Your cousin was always going to protect you and be there for you, especially after all the shit you’ve been through. All the hurt you’ve experienced. He couldn’t help but feel overprotective over you, and he couldn’t help but worry about you. And yeah, if this ever turned to anything, it would take awhile for Jeongin to trust them. He’s seen people fuck you over time and time again that he no longer just sit back and be too relaxed about people who come into your life. He’s seen you cry way more times than he’d like to count.

“By the way.” He clears his throat. “Your mom said hi. She said she misses you but hopes you’re well.” You swallow the lump in your throat, licking your lips when your mouth suddenly feels dry. Yeosang catches onto the mood switch— watching as your smile drops, your hand now retracting from his arm and curling up against your lap.

“Oh. Uh, tell her I said hi, too.” Jeongin sighs.

“Your parents really miss you, you know?”

“Well.” Is all you can say.

“At least call or text your mom? She worries about you every day.”

“Then maybe she should have backed me up when dad was saying all those things about me. Like oh, you know, how worthless I am.” 

“They should’ve known better, and they shouldn’t have done that. You don’t have to forgive them for it, but give her some peace of mind. She’s still your mom.”

“Oh, Innie. Can never get anything past you.”

“I’m just saying.” He chuckles. “Please? Just text her soon. Doesn’t have to be long.”

“We’ll see.”

“Anyway, I won’t keep you long. Just wanted to check in and tell you the good news. Hope you and your new man are having a good evening together.”

“He—I—” You pause and let out a breath. “That’s not exactly it but okay, yes we are.” Jeongin laughs louder.

“Alright. I’ll talk to you later? Text or call me if anything.”

“I know. You too.”

“Love you!” He says in a sing-song tone.

“Love you, too.” And with that, the call ends. You always hate getting off the phone with your cousin because it makes you miss home more than you’d like to admit. You would go home just to spend time with him like you used to, but the memories, the thoughts of your parents, all seem to be overbearing and make you regret even having the thought in the first place. You do miss him, a lot though. Since graduating, he had been busy trying to get into the workforce just like your family had pressured him into doing; applying for internships left and right to gain some experience before applying to graduate school. So, he hadn’t been able to visit like he planned to. Maybe one day you’ll be able to look past it and come home.

“Sorry.” You look at Yeosang, who is now stretching and sitting up next to you. “My cousin.”

“All good.” He grabs his water from the table and sits back down next to you. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah. I think so.”

“Your parents?” Is all Yeo says, hoping he isn’t poking too far into details and making you uncomfortable.

“Oh yeah.” You pathetically chuckle. “We’ve gotten into a lot of arguments before I left, that’s all. He was telling me my mom missed me and that I should at least try to text her that I’m doing okay.”

“I know it’s not easy but.. you should.” He says softly while turning his attention back to you. You maintain eye contact, catching his eyes quickly shoot down to your lips then back up to your eyes again. It makes you feel butterflies when he looks at you the way that he does, and it makes you wanna crawl back into your shell and hide. You look down and fiddle with your fingers, hoping it could distract you somehow.

“I dunno. I think I’m still having trouble letting go of what happened between us.”

“Mm.” He hums. “Do you miss them, though?”

“Mm, yeah.” You respond, close to a whisper. “It’ll always suck that our relationship isn’t what it used to be.”

“Whenever you’re ready, you should. Take your time with it, though.”

“Thanks.” You look up and give him a small smile. You quickly check the time, noticing dinner is approaching. “If you wanna stay for a little longer, I can whip up some dinner?”

“Sure.” He chuckles. “Can’t turn down a home cooked meal.”

“Of course.” You laugh, getting up from your seat.

“I mean, it’s a bonus that you’re cooking it.”

“Kang Yeosang, please. No need to save yourself.” You go through the stuff in the fridge, figuring out what to whip for dinner. “Are you a picky eater?”

“Nope.” He rests his head back against the edge of the couch.

“Good. You can change the channel, by the way.” You giggle, grabbing the ingredients from the fridge and setting up the pot on the stove. Yeosang flips the channel to the baseball game that’s happening in the city tonight, cheering along whenever they hit a home run. You laugh from the kitchen, asking him what sports he likes to indulge in and if him and his father went to games often. He replies that they have, and that baseball and soccer are more of their thing than anything else. It’s cute, really. Super endearing. It kinda reminds you of the times when you were younger and your dad would bring you to baseball games. It feels like such a distant and far memory. Like it never even happened, almost. That’s how much things have changed over the years. Your relationship with your dad hasn’t felt the same.

Once you’ve finished whipping up the tteokmanduguk, you bring the pot over to the coffee table, along with two small bowls and utensils. Yeosang grabs more water for you two and some beer for himself before settling next to you and indulging in another movie for the night. You tell him that you and your friends are gonna have a movie night soon, and that he should join along. There’s also a party that Jungkook is planning to host at one of the nearby bars. Yeosang agrees simply by telling you he’s down to go wherever you are since, after all, you are his self-proclaimed tour guide. You laugh it off even though deep down, it makes you feel giddy and happy he’d come along.

When dinner comes to an end, Yeosang does a lot to help you clean up around the living room and in the kitchen. He offers to wash your dishes while stacking them onto the dish rack, cleaning around your stove and coffee table to make sure it’s in pristine condition. It’s about that time that he calls it a night, but he truly is hating to do so. Because when he leaves, you feel sad. And he does, too. He’s starting to hate the feeling of going separate ways and he’s not even sure how you were able to make him feel that way so quickly. You walk him to the door and thank him again for his company before Yeosang does the same and tells you how much he really enjoyed spending time with you today. You tippytoe to give him a quick kiss to the cheek, and Yeosang instantly smiles. It gives you butterflies how he responds, but you leave it at that— not too overwhelm him or do too much.

But at the end of his first full week in town, Yeosang finds himself utterly smitten with you, drowning in pure adoration for someone he met on a whim. The hike was what did it for him, watching as you were so carefree and comfortable around him— that being the exact thing that pulled him out of his shell entirely. He hadn’t genuinely enjoyed himself this much in awhile, laughing during most of the hike and feeling excited about exploring town with you. You even understand his humor and Yeosang thinks it’s so, so nice to be comfortable in his own skin and personality around you.

If he had to lay out what his ideal type was, it’d literally be you. Because you check off all the boxes, and it’s so fucking surreal that Yeosang is looking at you right in the face, seeing you in the flesh. It’s so unexpected, but it’s the best thing he’s come across in a long time. Unexpected and quick, but the best.

“Goodnight.” You smile and lean your head against the door frame. “I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe?” You take a few tiny steps back.

“Mhm.” It seems like Yeosang had other plans because he gently grabs you by the wrist and tugs you back; immediately cupping your cheeks and bringing his lips to yours. He holds the kiss there, thumb subtly caressing at your right cheek, before he slightly pulls away and looks at you. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

This is the moment that changed everything for him and he didn’t even realize it at the time. 

And he means everything.

From that moment, your days consisted of spending time with Yeosang in one form or another. Whether it be after your shift at the restaurant, waiting after you were done at the shelter to go shop at the tiny outdoor mall nearby, hanging out at the beach with your friends or being together at each other’s places— Yeosang was there. He’s even become acquainted with more people around town with your help, accompanying a few of the elderly neighbors to their appointments nearby, helping carry loads and loads of heavy packages into restaurants or buckets of fish into the fish market, playing around with the kids running around. Yeosang was there.

If you had come to town and met him, you would’ve never known he was a visitor himself. You loved that he blended in well, though. You loved that he seemed to be happier and more comfortable, and you hope this is everything he had wished for in a peaceful, relaxing vacation. When the month comes to an end, you’re honestly not sure what you’ll do or how you’ll feel. Yeosang has become a part of your days, the town, so easily in such a short amount of time that you already feel empty just thinking about it. But, those are problems for future Y/N. Present Y/N isn’t gonna trip about it right now. Instead, focus on the now. Having him here, seeing him in the flesh and being able to keep him near. 

“So, are we picking up your man?” Mingi hops in the driver’s seat, with Keeho in the passenger's seat. You and your other friend Mina sit in the back, with Mina nudging you in the arm. Jungkook had a few things to close out at the shop, telling the group he’d meet at Mingi and Keeho’s shared place in a few.

“I can’t wait to see him!” She squeals. Mina was another one of your good friends from town, but she too had been away and just got back home. You, Keeho, Mingi and Jungkook kept her up to date as possible, with Mina the most excited to meet Yeosang and see who had been occupying your time these days. 

“Yes, please. He’s ready.” You tell Mingi the address. 

“She’s not even denying the phrase anymore. Must really be her man now.” Keeho adds, making Mina smack him on the neck from behind.

“Mind your business, she’s happy!”

“I never even said it was wrong?! I’m glad you’re happy Y/N, seriously. Shit, Mina.” He turns to her and rolls his eyes.

“You two look like you’ve known each other for years. It is pretty cute.” Mingi adds as he continues to keep his eyes on the road. Over this time, you and Yeosang had gotten quite affectionate with each other. A lot of it behind doors, but still pretty obvious around other people. It was the hand on the small of your back or hips. Hands grazing or pinkies holding onto each other. Whispers in each other’s ears. The flirty smiles and blushing. Yeosang’s arm over your shoulder. The playful hugs. Behind doors, there were a lot of little kisses on the cheek. The lips. Just enough to want more of each other but still afraid to cross those lines and ask for too much. But god, did Yeosang find it hard to keep his composure around you. He wanted you.

When you arrive at the front of Yeosang’s studio, he’s just stepped out of his door. He’s comfortably in matching sweats and a hoodie, a small smile painted on his face when he sees your head hanging out the window. “Hey!” You smile at him and Yeosang almost buckles at the fucking knees.

“Get your big ass head back in the car, Y/N. My neck is cold!” Keeho laughs.

“Fuck you!” 

“Let me put up the window!” Keeho whines.

“Sup.” He says, giving Keeho a dap before waving at Mingi as he approaches the car.

“Oh my god, he’s so fucking handsome.” Mina says behind you, tugging on your shirt. “What the fuck! Where can I find one!”

“Sh!” You shush her while laughing and settling back in your seat. Yeosang slips in next to you and immediately looks at you with a soft expression.

“Hey.” He says before shifting his attention to Mina, who is currently leaning over you to get a better look at him.

“Hi! I’m Mina! We haven’t met yet cause I just got back from vacation.” She holds out her hand and shakes his hand firmly before giggling. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Yeosang.”

“What a catch.” Mina says in your ear, causing the heat to rise to your cheeks.

“Did you eat? Cause these assholes don’t know how to cook.” You look at him and he chuckles.

“Yeah, I did.”

“We have chips and shit! Plus, Kook said he’s gonna bring some chicken or whatever.”

“How was work and the shelter today?” 

“Good, kinda busy. Ro got adopted!”

“That’s great! What else happened?”

“Nothing. The usual.” You shrug and Yeosang nods, his hand coming to rest on your thigh. “What’d you do today?”

“Uh, go to the gym. Checked out those places you sent me the other day.” 

“Oh nice! Did you eat at Mom’s Kitchen?” He nods.

“It’s so good.”

“Isn’t it?!” Mina catches sight of Yeosang’s hand on your thigh and she begins to subtly nudge your arm, in which you nudge back. The ride is somewhat quiet, with the occasional bickering in between you, Mingi, Keeho and Mina. Yeosang laughs next to you, thoroughly enjoying the chemistry between your friends as it reminds him of his own. He does miss his friends, but it’s nice to be around fresh faces. New energy.

“So, what are we putting on first?” Mingi sets the grocery bags down on their kitchen counter, taking the chips and candy out for everyone to help themselves to.

“Girl in the Picture!” Mingi groans when he hears your response and Keeho’s immediate agreement.

“Oh my fucking god, can you please? Let’s watch something else!” Mingi scolds you. “All Y/N and Keeho do is watch true crime shit and talk about it for days on end.” He turns to Yeosang with the complaint, but all Yeosang can do is smile and laugh it off.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Tall and Bland? Sometimes, it’s good to be educated and aware, especially in today’s world.” Keeho shakes his head. “Anyway, back to putting this shit on.” You snort, watching as Keeho puts on Girl in the Picture. At this point, Jungkook walks in and kicks off his shoes, setting a large tray of chicken wings onto the table, along with its included side dishes.

“Here. Eat up.”

“Oh shit.” Mingi says, immediately piling a good amount of chicken onto his paper plate.

“Don’t be stingy!” Jungkook calls to Yeosang. “Yeo, come and get something to eat before these two big-backs take it all.”

“I know you aren’t talking about me cause I’m sitting right here.” Keeho chimes in while scrolling through his phone.

“You don’t wanna eat more?” Yeo shakes his head.

“I’m good, thank you though!” He directs his thank you’s to the boys for providing food. You and Mina grab some chips and candy before you settle back onto your seats— Mina on the floor near the loveseat, Mingi sprawled on the couch, Keeho near one end of the couch on the floor, and you and Yeosang on the opposite end on the floor.

“You guys don’t ever get creeped out by this shit?” Jungkook plops onto the loveseat, letting his left leg dangle off the arm of the couch while he sits in a weird position.

“I do, but it’s also interesting to learn about these cases. Truthfully, I wouldn’t know these even happened without the content we get on them.”

“Okay, I can get with that.” Jungkook adds, still chomping on his m&ms. You snuggle against Yeosang while you two sit closely, his arm draped around your shoulders while he props a leg up. 

“Didn’t know you were into true crime like that.” Yeosang chuckles.

“It’s just interesting.” You look at him with a brow raised. “Are you making fun of me?”

“What, no?” He smiles. “Just mentally adding it my list of all the things you like.”

“You’re keeping track?”

“If I say no?” He teases, making you gently pinch him on the side before returning your attention to the documentary. 

“Mean.”

“Well, for the record. I am.” He says lowly by your ear before pressing a light kiss to the side of your head, causing the heat to rise to your cheeks and a small smile to tug at the corners of your lips. You giggle overhearing Jungkook complain about the many layers this case already has in the first half, while Keeho is having to pause the documentary a few times to explain what’s actually going on. You chime in to back him up, only pressing play when the others have finally gotten on the same page. Yeosang chuckles to himself seeing the chaotic bickering occur again, all while enjoying having you snuggled underneath his arm. When the documentary comes to a close, Mingi suggests putting on Skinamarink as the next movie. 

“Listen, it’s a different horror film! It’s experimental. Two kids wake up and their dad is legit missing outta nowhere. You never see the characters fully in frame, but it’s obvious something is wrong. You just hear things. Like them whispering or the cartoons playing. The trailer was so fucking creepy.”

“Ou, okay. Mangi finally has a good recommendation, I fuck with it.” Keeho pulls up the movie and presses play.

“I’m scared!” Mina squeals and puts her hands over her eyes, making Jungkook playfully tear them away.

“Nah, if we’re watching this, you are too.”

“Then move! Let me sit on the seat and you sit on the floor closer to the TV!” Jungkook laughs and stands to switch with her, plopping onto the floor as the movie kicks off.

“Oh hell no.” You mutter to yourself when the movie starts, immediately terrified from the creepy vibe of the movie. Yeo feels you snuggle up to him even more and he hugs you a little tighter, his arm now completely wrapped around your shoulders.

“This is actually kinda good.” 

“It’s so creepy.” 

“Yeah, it is. That’s what makes it a good horror movie.” He looks down at you. “Scared?”

“Kinda.” You’ve fallen to a whisper with how eerily silent the movie is despite the children talking and the creepy cartoons filling the background noise. Mingi, Jungkook and Keeho take turns yelling out of their asses, scared of what’s to come from the movie.

“How are you scared of this but not true crime, pretty girl?” Yeosang teases, gently pinching at your cheek.

“That’s different.”

“How?” He chuckles.

“I can’t explain it.” You pout, suddenly jumping in his arms when new activities happen in the movie.

“You’re okay.” He laughs, but you continue to pout. “Stop pouting. You’re making it really hard not to kiss you.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“No one said you couldn’t kiss me.” You tease. “It’s not like you haven’t.”

“Shut up.” He leans in to peck you on the lips, fingers gently caressing your chin. You giggle, resting your head on his shoulder as you continue to watch the movie. The both of you chime in with theories as things progress in the movie, with you using Yeosang’s hand to cover your eyes every now and then. He laughs, trying to rip his hand away to force you to watch. But, he stops; letting you cover your eyes when you and Mina start genuinely whining about how spooked you’re feeling from the movie.

“Oh shit.” Jungkook laughs as the boys continue to watch. “This is fucked up. The movie is all about making you feel all weird and unsettled but nothing really happens. It just thrives on that energy. The fear of the unknown.”

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda fucking scared.” Keeho snorts.

“It reminds me of when I was a kid.” Mingi adds. “You guys remember waking up in the middle of the night and being scared to turn around cause it feels like something is there?”

“Yeah.” Yeosang chimes in. “Then you start spiraling into your own thoughts cause you don’t know if something is there or not, and then you start feeling more anxious and scared.”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“I hated that.”

“That’s why I never put my feet out from under the blanket.” Jungkook says, making everyone laugh.

“Oh shit!” They all collectively say when one of the rare jumpscares comes up. You feel Yeosang get startled next to you, causing you to giggle and poke fun at him.

“At least I’m watching!”

“You’re right, sorry.” You say sarcastically, giving him a tiny peck on the jaw. Just as you’re about to pull back and rest your head on his shoulder, he quickly dips in for another kiss on the lips. You scrunch your nose in response and he just about dies at how cute it is, pulling you closer towards him [if there were any possible way to be closer]. Towards the end of the movie, everyone finishes strong despite how spooked they feel. There were a bunch of ‘oh ew’s’ and ‘oh fuck no’s’ from the group while watching the ending scene, with Yeosang even making a face at how terrifying the ending is. 

“Okay, that was a good one.” Jungkook turns to Mingi. “How’d you find out about it?”

“Research.”

“You’re so full of shit.” Keeho glares at him. “What Youtube video were you watching when the ad popped up?” You all laugh.

“Let him have this one, Keeho. Damn.” You add.

“Real.” Jungkook stands and stretches. “Anyway, successful movie night I’d say. Are you guys gonna go to the bar next week? For the party?” He turns to you and Yeosang. “Yeo?”

“Yeah, for sure.” He nods, making Jungkook smile.

“Sick. It’ll be fun.” He grabs his keys and swings it around his finger. “I’m about to dip. Tired as fuck now. You three wanna ride with me so I can take you home?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking scared, though.” Mina laughs.

“Just turn on your lofi playlist.” Mingi says. “That can fix anything.”

“Sleep Soul by Jhene Aiko will fix anything, that’s for damn sure.” 

“I’m about to sleep with my night light on.” Keeho laughs. “Man, fuck you. It was a good recommendation but now I’m scared.”

“It was good, huh?” Mingi asks cockily. “I’ll cover for next movie night.”

“No, hell no. Need a good break.” You stand and stretch, giving Keeho and Mingi a hug after thanking them for hosting movie night. Yeosang follows suit, bidding the two farewells before slipping into his shoes and following you three out of the door.

“I’m about to leave all the lights on at my place, I don’t care. I can handle a few nights of the bill being high.”

“Same.”

“You have Yeosang, though!”

“He doesn’t stay with me!” You fire back with a laugh, even though it does kinda suck that you’re still having to say goodbye to Yeosang at the end of the day. This was progressing into who knows what— you had no idea what you two were at this point. All you know is that you have deep feelings for this man, and you hope he does, too. It’s kinda silly to be falling this deep, but you click with him. It’s a connection you can’t put into words. And that is terrifying.

Jungkook drives Mina to her place before dropping you off, leaving him alone with Yeosang as the last stop. Jungkook asks a few times if you’re both sure that you don’t need to stay at one place or the other, shrugging it off when you both shyly agree that you’ll part ways for the night.

Yeosang wishes he didn’t, because the night he does sleepover brings him to new territories with you and he wished he had explored it sooner.

You had been working at the restaurant for a full shift, and Yeosang had been out on the water with Mingi and a few other people from town. When he finally gets a text from you that you’ve finished your shift and closed up for the night with Jungkook, he’s back at home all freshly showered and patiently waiting for you. He feels his heart skip a beat, and he immediately throws on a windbreaker over his black tank top before dashing through the door with a simple—

[yeosang]: see you soon 😊

[you]: yay!

He chuckles to himself as he begins a light jog over to your place, knowing you’re probably taking your time heading home from work or stopping by to check on a few people. He doesn’t mind, though. He’ll gladly wait for you for as long as you need him to, especially if that means seeing you and spending time with you. 

So, he does just that until he finally catches wind of you approaching the apartment [faster than expected]. Yeosang silently leans back against the wall, watching as you skip towards the house and even do a little twirl. He lets out a soft chuckle to himself at how oblivious you are to his presence, even picking up the phone to call him. He purposely doesn’t pick up to see how long it’ll take you to notice, watching as you pause in your steps and glare at your phone when he doesn’t pick up the call.

“Why isn’t he answering me?” You pout as you tuck your phone away and dig for your keys. “Kang Yeosang. You better have a good excuse—”

“Like.. what? Sorry, I was faster than you and have been waiting?” Your attention shoots up to Yeosang still patiently waiting by the lobby door to the complex, your eyes lighting up as you let out a squeal and instantly throw your arms around him.

“I missed you.” You cutely mumble against him, his hand rubbing up and down your back as he holds you close.

“I missed you too, cutie.” He presses a kiss against the side of your head. “How was your shift?”

“It was okay, pretty busy.”

“Yeah? Least you get to relax now.” 

“Thank god.” You laugh, fiddling with your keys to unlock your door while Yeosang wraps his arms around your shoulders from behind. 

“I’ve been waiting all day.” He says softly against your head.

“I’m here now.”

“What do you wanna do tonight?” You shrug.

“I dunno. Anything! I just need to shower first because I feel kinda gross.” You laugh as you both step out of your shoes and drop your things off to the side, on the kitchen table.

“Cute regardless.” Yeosang smiles and you shake your head.

“Lies, all lies.”

“I would never lie to you.” He gently caresses your chin. “How about I cook something while you go shower and get comfortable?” You gasp.

“Yeosang cooking again?”

“I can whip up a good meal or two when I want, okay.” He rolls his eyes before squeezing your side. “Go.”

“Demanding.” You tease before grabbing your pajamas and heading off to the shower. Yeosang stands in your kitchen area for a good minute, hands placed on his hips as he contemplates on what he can cook. He rummages through your mini pantry and fridge, digging up some of your prepped cucumbers, radishes, boiled eggs and broth to make some naengmyeon. It’s a dish he’s able to whip up quickly, carrying your bowl and his to the living room coffee table. You finish your shower about 10 minutes later, and Yeosang is quietly sitting on the couch flipping through the channels. You run a towel through your damp hair, smiling at the two bowls ready made for you two.

“Aw.” You giggle. “Thank you.” You sit next to him and give him a soft, feathery kiss to the cheek. He turns to catch your lips in another kiss, making you scrunch your nose in response.

“You’re very welcome.” The two of you find a movie to settle on before indulging in your meal. Afterwards, you tidy up and grab some of the ice cream still sitting in your freezer from last time— handing Yeosang a melona bar as you plop back down next to him. He’s cozy, and you snuggle up close to feel more of his warmth. “Fuck, I don’t wanna move.” Yeosang sighs, leaning his head back onto the couch after he’s finished his ice cream. It’s nearing midnight and he truly hates the thought of leaving you at this point.

“You don’t have to.” You softly respond and he pops an eye open to examine your expression, body language. “Stay.”

“You’ll be comfortable with that?”

“Course.” You giggle. “I have a stack of extra toothbrushes, you know, in case the zombie apocalypse happens and we need them for a variety of reasons.” He snorts.

“Ah, touché. Nice to know you’d yield a toothbrush as a weapon. Makes me feel really safe.” You playfully toss a crumpled napkin his way. 

“Come.” You take his hand and lead him into your bathroom so he can get settled however he’d like. You hand him an extra toothbrush that he takes. Takes him a minute to register the item in his hand, that he’s standing in your bathroom getting ready for bed at your place. Which, is incredibly domestic as fuck for him; someone who doesn’t even know what this is or if there’s such a thing with labels nowadays. As much as he feels like he should drop it and forcibly distance himself from this, he can’t. Because he’d be lying to himself. How can he when he’s so incredibly smitten, so fucking in love with you already?

He adores you. He can’t lie that he’s been drawn to you from the start. He could never drop this or distance himself from you. His days don’t mean shit without you now.

Yeosang brushes his teeth and gets himself a little more comfortable while you tidy up in the kitchen and living room. The TV is off, and the only lights illuminating the space are from the kitchen and your Sailor Moon LED lamp on your nightstand. It’s blue, and it casts a pretty shade against the wall. 

“Are you gonna get ready for bed after?”

“Uh huh.” You wipe your hands on the hand towel.

“I can sleep on the couch—”

“No, you don’t have to do that. I don’t mind sharing my bed.” You laugh.

“A-are you sure, Y/N? I don’t wanna invade your space more than I already have.”

“Swear it’s okay. Or else, I wouldn’t have told you to stay and offered an extra toothbrush from my stash.” He chuckles and nods.

“Okay.” He slowly pads over to your bed, throwing the sheets from your neatly-made bed back. He rips off his hoodie and tosses it aside, leaving him in his white tee and sweats. He slips into the side of your bed, resting his hand behind his head with a leg propped up while he scrolls through his phone and waits for you. Within a couple of minutes, you’re shutting off the lights in your bathroom and walking over to the other side of the bed. He watches you go through your phone, soft music now playing through your bluetooth speakers.

“Hope you don’t mind. It actually helps me fall asleep.” You slip in next to him and it suddenly feels so fucking unreal that he’s laying next to you. About to sleepover for the night. Ain’t that some shit?

“It’s okay.” You turn to face him and he does the same, eyeing your features under the blue light. He pushes your hair back before caressing your cheek. 

“Why do you keep staring at me, Kang Yeosang?”

“You’re just.. so pretty, Y/N.” He says close to a whisper. “It almost feels unreal.”

“Stop.” You giggle. 

“I mean it.” He smiles, gently tugging you by the elbow to bring you closer. “Come here.” You scoot closer, resting right near Yeosang’s chin. His thumb glides over the surface of your chin, lifting it ever so slightly so that he can get a better look at your face from his angle. You edge a little closer, your lips grazing his before he dips forward. The kiss immediately starts heated, full of emotions. As you deepen the kiss, Yeosang lets out a small groan while his hand rests on your cheek. You press against him more, and he’s doing everything he can to take it slow, take his time. But, he can’t. Not when you know how to kiss so fucking well. Not when you continue to press against him, rocking yourself against his rock hard dick. Every kiss, every move, turns Yeosang on a ‘lil more than the last and he’s not sure if he’ll be able to hold it in tonight. He’s about to break.

“Fuck.” He lets out a shaky sigh, sucking onto your bottom lip as he tugs back and lets go. You slowly guide his hand down your chest, to your waist; to the lining of your panties. Yeosang’s fingers toy with the material under your shorts, slightly dipping beneath the hemline to test the waters all while kissing you deeply. When he finally gains the courage to explore a little deeper, he toys with your folds before sliding a digit in— trying to get a feel for how tight and wet you are.

“You’re so wet.” He whispers against your lips, but he barely gets the last half out before you’re swallowing his words and taking him in for another kiss. Yeosang slips in another finger, this time, pumping it at a faster pace than the last; a stupid smirk growing on his face when he hears the sounds coming from your pussy. “That’s so fucking hot.”

“Sangie.” You whimper. “More. Please.” He hisses hearing you beg, weak at the doe-eyed, innocent look you give him.

“You’re dripping.” He bites onto his bottom lip, curling his fingers into you. “All this for me?” You let out a choked moan when he hits you right at your spot, your hips getting a mind of their own and slowly riding his fingers. Your hand comes down to palm Yeosang’s hard cock through his sweats.

“Sangie, like that.” You nod to continue egging him on, begging him to let you cum, to push you over the edge. It doesn’t take long after this for you to let out a loud moan, your orgasm washing over your entire body. Yeosang smiles contently as he slowly pumps his fingers into you, thumb grazing your overly-sensitive clit that you’re having to grab at his wrist to stop him from doing so. “Oh shit.” You mewl while Yeosang laughs, pressing feathery kisses to your temple, jaw, corner of your lips. You take the two digits into your mouth and get a taste of yourself, Yeosang hissing when he watches you do. He loves the way your tongue swirls around his fingers, pretty lips wrapped around them while you get a taste.

“Oh my god.” He groans a bit. “You’re gonna kill me.” You look at him, dazed and all over this cloud nine shit, hoping you can satisfy his needs, too. You continue to palm him, feeling how incredibly hard he is through the material and wanting more of him.

“Can I?” He nods, allowing you to pull his length from its confines and slowly pump him. His dick is perfectly thick, sitting at a good length. The thought of him pumping this inside of you makes you drool. Your thumb swipes his tip, spreading his pre-cum across the surface. You work your hand in certain motions, pumping his length at a continuous, steady pace. You feel him buck into your hand a few times, his subtle way of asking you to keep going, to keep up at the pace you’re going.

“Oh—” He mutters. “Fuck, yeah.” He moans. “That’s it, baby.” You melt at the petname he lets out, his sultry tone sending goosebumps throughout your body. He begins to pant, signaling that he’s close. All Yeosang can think of is taking that next step with you and god, does he want you. But, he’ll take his time. He wants to do right by you. “I’m gonna cum— baby—” He chokes out. You pick up the pace and let him buck into your hand a few more times before you’re catching his release into your hand, a small amount landing on his lower tummy. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” You laugh. “Don’t be.”

“Let me help you get cleaned up.” He takes a napkin from your nightstand to clean himself up, then you, your hand. You’ve gotten some of his load on your finger, which you gladly take into your mouth. Yeosang pauses as he watches you, shaking his head in response.

“You’re actually out to kill me. There’s no way.” He glares at you while you giggle, letting him wipe down the rest of your hand. “You okay?”

“I am.” 

“Want me to grab you anything? Water?”

“No. Just hold me.” You say cutely and Yeosang can’t even think about rejecting your request. He pulls you close and places a big kiss on your forehead before coming down to your lips. “Night Sangie.” You say against his chest.

“Goodnight, love.” His heart swells when you snuggle into him, shortly falling asleep within the next few minutes. He takes his time to admire you, eyes trained on your features, your sleeping body, the soft smile on your face. He thinks this is the moment he truly could admit that he had started to really fall in love with you because there’s no other place he’d rather be. If he could choose any moment in time, he’d come back to this. Over and over again. He’d choose you, over and over again.

“Y/N. When are you coming home?” Changbin asks on the other line, with Ryujin and San sitting next to him.

“Yeah, cause. It’s lonely out here. I need you. These two are useless—” Changbin turns his phone away so he’s the only one in view, glaring at Ryujin next to him.

“By the way this is my phone call with Y/N. I don’t remember inviting you two?”

“Why me? I’m just here!” San whines. “She’s my bestfriend, too. Huh, Y/N?”

“She was my bestfriend first, you assholes!” Ryujin shoves San away.

“Anyway.” Bin fixes the phone, making you laugh. “Seriously, when are you coming home? We haven’t seen you in years and you won’t even let us come down to visit wherever you are.”

“Cause I’m busy and exploring.” You vaguely say. “I dunno when I’ll come home.”

“Do you even miss home?”

“I do. I miss you guys. I miss Innie.”

“Then?”

“Then, I don’t know? I’ve been doing okay here.”

“Are you replacing us with your friends there?” San asks.

“No one is replacing anyone.”

“Your parents miss you.” 

“As I’ve heard.” Your heart sinks; all of a sudden, you’re homesick again, and you miss your friends. It had been hard to leave them, too. But, you needed to find yourself, and you needed to work on things for your own self, for your own sake and peace. It was important.

“Look. You don’t have to move back home, but at least visit if you don’t want us coming to you.”

“I know. Maybe soon, yeah?” You smile. “I promise. So? Tell me. What else is new there?”

“Nothing.” Changbin snorts. “Nothing at all.”

“Ryujin and I started learning tennis.” You laugh at San.

“Tennis?!”

“It’s fun!” Ryujin pouts. “I’d usually do this with you, but I have to settle for the boys.” It’s true— Ryujin was your bestfriend, and you used to do everything with her. Whether it was staying up late and exploring, going out to parties, trying all kinds of activities; she was your girl and vice versa. You missed her so, so much. But, she knew how much you needed this break and how much you needed to be away from the past, old memories. She understood you, and even though it hurt to let you go, she just wanted what was best for you.

“I just sit and watch.” Changbin adds. “Fetch the ball a few times.”

“Sounds like you.” You laugh.

“What about you? Anything new down there?”

“No.” You quickly change the subject. “Innie told me he got the internship at one of the companies he applied to!”

“Yeah, we saw him the other day and he told us. Even more of a reason for you to come home to celebrate?” You chuckle.

“Yeah.” You hear the shower cut off in the bathroom. “Anyway, I gotta go. Got some plans for tonight.”

“Okay. Be safe.” Changbin responds before Ryujin and San fit themselves into the tiny frame and wave.

“Miss you. Love you.” Ryujin pouts.

“I miss you and love you guys. Always.” You wave once more before setting the phone down. You set it on the charger as you sit criss-crossed on your bed, resting in Yeosang’s shirt. He steps out of your bathroom in some track pants while unfolding the shirt in his hands. You can’t help but fix on his abs just as he’s about to throw his shirt on, feeling all sorts of butterflies in your tummy after seeing how incredibly ripped he was.

You knew he was built well, but to see this— see it in action and in front of your eyes was different.

“My personality is up here.” Yeosang catches you staring when he gets his shirt on, a smirk plastered on his face as he crawls back onto your bed and gives you a quick peck to the lips.

“I wasn’t doing anything.”

“So.. you weren’t just staring at me?”

“You did that on purpose. You could’ve thrown your shirt on before leaving the bathroom, you demon.”

“You mad about it?” He bites onto his bottom lip, squeezing your thigh.

“No.” You roll your eyes and he laughs.

“Come here. Gimme a kiss.” You quickly oblige and dip forward to kiss him again; this time, deepening the kiss just enough to please him and tease him [for more]. The way he looks at you when you pull away makes your heart do a thousand flips, and you can’t help but let out a tiny giggle when he taps the tip of your nose. “Were you talking to someone while I was in the bathroom?”

“Oh.” You nod. “Mhm. Just friends.”

“Like Jungkook and them?”

“Childhood friends.” You vaguely respond.

“Oh. From home?” You nod.

“People I grew up with. They’re just checking in.” 

“That’s nice. Are they planning to come visit you or something?”

“No. They’re all too busy for that.” You give him a tiny toothless smile before hopping off the bed to get ready. “Anyway, I’m gonna start getting ready for the party.”

“I’ll be here.”

“Must be nice to just throw on your shit and go.” You laugh, digging through your closet for an outfit.

“You know you’d look good in anything.”

“My makeup!”

“You don’t even need it, pretty.” He lays back on your bed, shutting his eyes to rest for a bit. He replays the conversation you just had in his head, wondering why you had been shying away from sharing details with him. He caught onto the way your lips pursed together when you dropped eye contact. He caught onto the way you quietly responded and quickly changed topics. It’s not the first time he’s noticed, but he would never press you, no. On the other hand though, he can’t lie; he wishes you felt more comfortable with him. It all goes back to him wondering what else he can do to gain your trust. What else can he do to feel like a safe space for you? Why was he starting to feel like you were so close, yet so distant?

❊ FLASHBACK

“So, how are you liking town so far?”

“Good. It’s been fun. Nice to get away from the city.”

“That’s cool. I bet it’s nice to get away. Must be a good change from the hustle of the city.” Jungkook chuckles. “I’m sure Y/N has been a good tour guide, too?” He smirks.

“Uh, yeah.” Yeosang shyly laughs. “Yeah..”

“You guys are cute.”

“I don’t really know what this is to tell you honestly.” Jungkook shrugs.

“I know she likes you. A lot.”

“I—” Yeosang lets out a breath. “I like her, too.”

“The hesitation?” Jungkook chuckles and Yeosang shakes his head.

“Oh no. Not like that. I just.. wasn’t expecting it.”

“Isn’t that the best, though? When you least expect it.”

“Yeah.” Yeosang says softly. “Sounds cliché, but she really makes me feel things I haven’t felt before.” Jungkook smiles.

“Cute. So. Do you plan to make this an official thing even with you leaving at the end of the month? Or, do I need to step into my overprotective friend mode?” Yeosang chuckles.

“No. Don’t worry. I’m not like that, I swear. I don’t— I don’t do temporary.” Is all he responds with. “There’s nothing more that I want than to be on a solid page with her. If that’s what she wants.”

“Course. I know she does even if she shies away from it.” Jungkook laughs a bit and does a slight head tilt. “You know, it’s funny. I’ve known that girl for a couple of years and I still feel like I know her but at the same time, I don’t. I just know she’s been through a lot and she moved here from who knows where to start a new chapter for herself.” He turns to Yeo. “Although I do believe you and think you’re genuinely a good guy, please just.. take care of her.” Yeosang nods slowly. He wonders why you haven’t opened up to your friends much, being that they’re people you surround yourself with often. He gets it, though. It took him awhile to really open up to his friends— even now, he doesn’t think there are things he can openly share with Chaerin or Jongho compared to Wooyoung. Still. It makes him feel a little sad that you might feel alone, even in a room full of people. What can he do to be of comfort to you?

“Of course.” Yeosang sits back in his seat, wondering how he could possibly pull this off. Because he does want this, he does. And he’d be willing to make it work, despite the 4 hour distance. He’d come back and forth if he had to, keep up with plans to visit each other and take initiative. It’ll be hard, and it’ll be an adjustment until you two can figure out a better plan. But, he wants you and that’s all that matters to him at this point.

❊ END

Evening comes pretty quickly, especially when you’re distracted by Yeosang through his kisses and his need to be in between your thighs. You eventually finish getting ready post-orgasm, throwing on a cargo skirt, a cropped baby tee and sneakers. Yeosang is in black jeans, a white tee, and combat boots. The two of you start pregaming together until Keeho pulls up to your apartment— Mingi and Mina loudly yelling from their seats from all the excitement. 

The bar is closer to the outskirts of town, and Jungkook chose this bar in particular since the owners had been longtime friends of his family. The bar was also recently remodeled, with more modern and sleek touches, making it easy on the eye. The weather is beautiful tonight, the air crisp and not too cold. The windows are down as Keeho drives down the road along the water, blasting his playlist with everyone singing along. After a good 15 minutes, Keeho pulls into the large lot in front of the bar, carefully navigating into a spot while people are walking across to join the party. The music is muffled, but can be heard booming through the building even from down the road. You lace your fingers with Yeo’s, holding onto his hand tightly as you and your friends walk into the bar. It’s packed already, and you’re having trouble finding Jungkook in the crowd until Mingi spots him in between the bar and DJ.

“He’s over there!” Mingi nods for you all to follow him to the opposite end of the bar. Jungkook is a social butterfly, so he’s got people swarming him left and right. When he finally spots you from over the shoulder of the person he’s talking to, he smiles from ear to ear, raising his glass up.

“About fucking time!”

“Miss Mina needed extra time to get ready.” Keeho laughs. “Who the fuck did you invite?”

“People who invited people who invited more.. people.” Jungkook shrugs. “Yeosang, my guy!” He gives Yeosang a dap, pulling him into a good hug afterwards. “Let’s go take some shots. On me!”

“Oh shit, boss is paying for shots?!” Mingi says excitedly, immediately following him to the bar with Yeosang alongside of him.

“Aye, Y/N. Take my shot for me please. Don’t disappoint me.” You snort at Keeho’s request.

“I got you!” And so with that, everything takes off from here. The three of you participate in taking shots— one turning into three, four? Both you and Yeosang try to pace yourselves though, not wanting to be incredibly drunk and too inebriated to enjoy tonight. But, the shots you’ve taken are enough to get you going; feeling carefree enough to drag Yeosang onto the dance floor and have your alone time with him. It starts incredibly fun and harmless, the two of you genuinely enjoying each other’s company as the different songs blast through the walls of the bar. Your friends join in, the boys rapping along to every song and trying to act cool in front of you, Mina and the other girls surrounding the group. It’s a fun time; you laugh. You joke. You play around. Yeo throws his arm over you from time to time, admires you as you happily dance and sing along. You step out for a few water and bathroom breaks in between, and eventually, you and your friends are separated and spread across the room. Mingi, Keeho and Jungkook are finding themselves a few pretty girls to hang out with, while Mina is flirting away with one of the bartenders. You and Yeosang find yourselves falling deeper into the crowd, now in your own little world where you’re surrounded by strangers, but are focused on each other and each other only. At some point, you get pushed to the corner near the window from how packed the room has gotten over time. You don’t mind it though, because now, the energy between you and Yeosang has flipped to something more intense. More tension. More need. More desire. You’ve been dancing all up on him for the past hour or so, and he’s been enjoying every minute of it. 

He sits on the window sill, hands gripping on the edges with his legs spread— enough to make room for you in between, giving him the best view of you bending over and working your ass against him. He subtly bites onto his bottom lip when you get him at the best angles, his hand slowly snaking up to your hip to help guide you and keep up with the rhythm. You bring yourself up as you continue to dance on him, looking back to see the dazed expression on his face. You giggle a bit just as the song transitions into another, letting Yeosang wrap his arms around you and hold you close.

“Killing me.” He says in your ear, large hands resting on your thighs; if he travels any further, he’ll be right where you need him.

“Are you having fun?” You turn to him, arms wrapped around his neck. 

“Yeah, I am.” He gently squeezes at the back of your thighs, right beneath your ass. “Why, are you?”

“Yeah, but I kinda wanna get outta here.” Your eyes shift from his, down to his lips— back up to his brown orbs. He subtly bites onto his bottom lip and nods, face only inches away from yours. If he wasn’t mistaken, he sees the look in your eyes, and it’s on the same wavelength as his. He just needs to get you home, quick.

“Whatever you wanna do, love.” You giggle, finding the courage to plant a kiss on his lips. He doesn’t pull away though, no. He deepens the kiss, letting out a shaky exhale in between.

He’s having trouble composing himself and he’s afraid he won’t be able to anymore when he gets you alone.

“Let’s go.” You break away from the heated kiss, lips puffy from the contact. You grab his hand and navigate through the crowd, bidding Jungkook, Keeho and Mingi farewell as you two slip out of the party with ease. 

As you work to call a taxi, Yeosang instantly latches onto you— hands gripping at your waist from behind while he plants kisses along your jaw, neck. When the taxi finally comes, you slip in with a giggle, aching from the distance in the back seat of the car. Yeosang can’t take his eyes off of you, bringing a hand to your thigh to keep you close, to let you know how badly he wants you tonight.

Even when you finally arrive at your studio, Yeosang gives you some distance to fiddle through your keys and finally unlock the door. He should be given a gold medal for how cool and composed he’s keeping himself.

That is, until the door shuts.

You let out a squeal when you feel Yeosang tug on your wrist, pulling you against him to kiss you. The kiss is deep, and everything feels like it’s laid out on the table. No holding back, no restraints.

“Need you so badly.” He says in between his strong kisses, holding you closely by the waist while you wrap your arms around his neck. He slowly backs you towards the bed and pushes up against you, feeling how hard he is even through his jeans.

“You have me.”

“Are you sure about this? Do you have a condom?”

“I am.” You nod. “I am. More than sure. I’m on the pill.” You tug at the hem of his shirt. 

Sooner or later, clothes are being ripped off and tossed into every corner of the studio. You find yourself underneath Yeosang, biting onto your bottom lip when he pulls out his pretty cock and pumps himself a few times. He takes the tip and runs it down your folds, edging the tip right at your clit a few times to tease you. You let out a small whimper while Yeosang lets out a breathy moan.

“Sangie.” You beg, pleading through your look, for him to go further. He bites onto his bottom lip this time, smirking as he watches your face contort in pleasure when he slowly sinks himself into you. “Oh my god.” The stretch feels so, so good; Yeosang moving at a steady pace as he keeps your legs cocked open for him. He lets out a breath while rocking into you, shutting his eyes when he sees you beautifully laid out beneath him just to keep his composure for a second. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight. Wrap around me so well—” He barely finishes his sentence before he’s letting out a moan, enjoying the way you feel way too much. His body comes down to hover over yours slightly; just enough to hold his own weight but keep close to you. You moan into his mouth when he picks up the pace, thrusting into you a little rougher than the last time. But every single thrust, move, kiss is full of feeling, emotion. Full of lust. Desire. Passion.

“Oh shit.” Your moans are louder this time, echoing over the walls and surely blending into your neighbor’s. 

“Want you—” Yeosang whispers in your ear as he continues to thrust deep inside of you, letting you feel every inch of his length in all the right places. “Want you to be mine.” He gives off a breathy moan, biting onto your jaw, gently sucking onto your neck.

“I am yours.” You breathe out. 

“Yeah?” He sits back a bit, thumb now coming to your clit to continue pushing you over the edge. “Say it again, baby.”

“I’m yours.” 

“Louder.” He growls.

“I’m yours!” You mewl, hand grabbing at your tit while Yeosang fucks into you roughly; clit aching and coil threatening to snap. 

“That’s it.” He coos. “So good for me.” And it only takes a few more snaps of his hip, thumb still playing with your sensitive nub before you unravel underneath him. You cry in pleasure, body trembling as your orgasm washes over your body. “Can you ride me, princess? Wanna see you ride me.” He hisses, trying to keep himself together as you continue to feel the after-shocks of your orgasm, walls still squeezing him tightly. You oblige, switching positions and instantly sliding down his length. He lets out a loud groan, head falling back against the wall with hooded lids while he adjusts to the feeling. You waste no time finding a good pace, rocking back and forth on his cock— clit still feeling sensitive from your first orgasm. 

“Yeosang, fuck. Feel so full.”

“God damn.” He lets out another breathy moan, hands coming to your hips to guide you. “Just like that.” You pick up your pace, switching between bouncing on his dick to rolling your hips slowly, deeply. “Baby— close—” He pants, unable to compose himself any further. The friction against your clit feels too good that you find your second orgasm bubbling quickly, only taking a few more rolls against Yeosang for you to tip over the edge again. You still in your position while trembling in his grip, and Yeosang fucks up into you to chase his own high shortly afterwards. He releases his load into you, painting your walls white with his seed. You fall forward, lazily kissing him as you both try to bring yourselves back down from cloud nine and regulate your breathing. Yeosang coos you, hands coming up to rub your back and your sides while pressing gentle kisses to your skin. He praises you, telling you how well you did and how perfect you are for him. He gives you one last deep kiss before leading you into the bathroom to get washed up and cleaned up for bed. It’s a quick, sweet shower together; washing off the sweat from tonight’s activities before finishing up your bedtime routine and tossing new sheets onto the bed. 

You’ll get to the laundry tomorrow.

Yeosang pulls you onto your chest and cuddles you to sleep, humming along to the song now playing through your bluetooth speakers. It doesn’t take too long for Yeo to fall asleep after you, the exhaustion from tonight hitting him quickly. When morning comes, it’s a lot earlier than Yeosang expects. He was the last to fall asleep, but the first to wake, and he can thank his hard ass dick for that. He tries to shift in his position without waking you, but it’s no use. You’re tucked under his chin nicely while clinging onto him, pressed up to his body as closely as possible. The events from last night keep replaying in his head like a film strip. Now, he’s just fucking horny.

He squeezes at your hip before pressing kisses to your face, his gentle way of waking you up and showing his need. You begin to stir a bit when Yeosang whispers in your ear and tries to wake you up completely. He still has you wrapped in his arms, tucked underneath his chin. “Baby.” He whispers as he continues to softly kiss you on every place possible.

“Mhm?” Your eyes flutter open, and you catch on quick. Yeosang’s hands are roaming all over your sides, his hard dick pressed up against you to feel any friction. 

“I’m so hard.” He almost whines into your ear and it’s enough to get you going. “Want you right now.”

“You have me.”

“Yeah?” He gently nibbles on your earlobes, hand trailing down under his shirt you’re wearing to toy with your panties. “Is it okay if I do this, then?” He rubs at your clit through the material of your panties, feeling the wet patch already seeping through.

“Mhm.” You hum as Yeosang dips down to kiss you, thumb still caressing at your nub. It’s when the kiss deepens that he roughly tugs your panties off and does the same with his own boxer briefs. He doesn’t waste any time to position you right where he needs you; getting you to slightly lift your leg so he can slip in at the right angle. It happens quick, bearing in mind that you’re already wet and going from the way he had woken you up earlier. 

“God, you always feel too good.” He mutters against your lips. His hand holds up your leg as he continues to rock into you; back and forth. It’s slow and steady before he picks it up, cock hitting you in all the best spots from this position. 

“Shit, Sangie— fuck.” You whimper, hips lightly moving to match his rhythm. He lets out a loud groan when you start to do so, the feeling of your walls squeezing against him making it incredibly hard to last. You kiss him once more, lips lazily grazing over his jaw and neck. He hisses when he feels you messily kiss at the base of his neck and suck on the surface.

“You keep moving like that, I won’t last.” He huffs, beginning to rock into you at a rougher pace. The only sounds filling the room at this point are nothing short of pornographic; skin slapping against skin, loud moans and heavy breathing. “I’m close, baby. Cum with me.” You feel yourself tipping over the edge the more he begins to fuck into you at this position, only taking a few more thrusts before you’re yelling his name and digging your nails into his bicep from how hard it hits you; Yeosang reaching his own climax shortly after. 

“Kang Yeosang.” You breathe out, his lip lazily grazing your forehead.

“Mm, I like it when you call my name like that.”

“Shut up.” You laugh. “Guess no more sleep for us.”

“I mean, we can. We can just repeat the whole process entirely. I’m down for it.”

“You’re so full of shit.” You laugh, dragging him to the bathroom. “Let’s get up.” You drag him to wash up and get ready for the day, throwing on some high waisted shorts and a cropped tank top to match today’s heat. Yeosang’s ass decides to walk around shirtless and in sweats he had brought over, letting them hang on his hips so damn lowly.

“I have to do so much laundry, thanks to you.” Yeo laughs before taking a sip of water, still standing shirtless in your kitchen.

“Baby.” You hum in response as you load your laundry. “Let’s go on that bike ride you’ve been wanting to do after you’re done.”

“Really?” You smile and he nods.

“Mhm. Then we can go out to eat before cozying up tonight.”

“You’re the best.” You get the laundry going before jumping on him and giving him a kiss.

“Wanna go another round?”

“I hate you.” You laugh when Yeo smothers you in kisses, dropping you onto the bed to let him take care of you yet again. He can’t get enough of you.

You finally get to finishing and folding your laundry, all while Yeosang whips up some lunch and sets it on the coffee table for you two to enjoy. After, you take that bike ride with Yeosang down the coast; letting the breeze hit you as you bike down a good 2-3 miles before hopping off and taking pictures together. You take him to a good bbq spot nearby, drinking and feeding each other while enjoying deep conversations together. No topic ever feels dumb or silly around Yeosang, and you’re grateful he happily participates in the conversation regardless of what it is. The both of you laugh loudly and smile the entire time, enjoying each other’s sweet company as you’ve learned to do over these few weeks. It’s easy to admit that Yeosang has become your favorite person, and the best part of your days are now the ones spent with him. You’re positive there’s nothing else that comes close. Nothing. And as much as that makes you happy, it’s the same thing that terrifies you the most.

You hate thinking about it, but your time with Yeosang is coming to an end. He’d have his last few days before he’s heading back to the city, back to the life he’s used to living. Back to life without you? Because let’s face it— even if he wanted to continue your relationship, it wouldn’t feel the same as having him next to you every day. With the time left, you’re torn between making the most of it, or being torn up over it.

“Baby.” Yeosang tugs on your hand as he continues to lock his fingers with yours, trying his best to grab your attention.

“Huh?” He chuckles.

“Can hear you thinking.” You look down and kick at the rocks beneath your feet.

“You already know what it is.” He lets out a breath before he pauses in his steps, pulling you towards him. He brushes your hair back and gently lifts your chin; his touches all soft, tender.

“Hey. I know it’s easier said than done, but I really don’t want you to worry. As long as you’re willing to work with me through it, then we’ll be good.” He gives you a reassuring smile. “Okay? You’re in this with me, right?” You nod.

“But, Sangie—”

“No but’s.” He laughs when you whine about him not letting you finish your sentence. “Okay, okay. What is it?”

“Will you forget me?” Yeosang’s forehead pinches ever so slightly at the question, head tilting to the side as he reads into it. He can tell there’s sadness swirling in those beautiful eyes of yours, a forced smile creeping at the corner of your lips to downplay the sadness behind it. It breaks his heart that you’d even think that way, so he can’t help but cup your cheek and gently caress the surface.

“Why would you think that, baby? I would never.” He responds softly. “You know how much I want this, right? Despite the distance. Nothing about that will change.”

“Okay.” You respond softly. He lets out a small sigh before planting a kiss on your forehead and pulling you in for a tight hug. 

“We’re gonna be okay. As long as you’re with me.”

“I am.” You don’t even realize how pained and choked up you sound when you let the statement fall from your lips; it’s not that you were unsure about Yeosang. You could never be. Yeosang had to be the greatest blessing you have ever been granted with in this fucked up world. An unexpected blessing you weren’t even sure you deserved. How? You were unsure about yourself. How could you be the girl he needs, he deserves, if everyone else deemed you unworthy and useless?

“Then it’ll be fine.” He takes you to the sand and plops down onto the sand, asking for your hand as a way to ask you to join him. You sit next to him, holding onto his arm and resting your head on his shoulder as you look out to the ocean.

“Aren’t you gonna miss it?”

“I will. I’ll miss a lot of things.”

“Like what?” He smirks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You whine a bit and pout, causing Yeosang to subtly bite onto his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling too big.

“Yeosang.” You pout.

“I’ll miss you the most.” He presses a light kiss to the top of your head. “Here. Why don’t we plan something for the next time we see each other?” He shifts in his position to look at you a little better. “Wanna come to me in the city? You can stay at my place and you can meet my friends.” 

“Okay.” You giggle. “I can ask Jungkook for time off in the next 3 weeks or so?”

“Mhm.” He nods. “Just let me know what date works and I’ll clear everything out for you, love.” You smile and lean back onto his arm.

“Okay. And then?”

“Then, the next time, I’ll come down here. We can go back and forth until we figure out a better plan in the long term. Sound good?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“I know it sounds tiring right now, but I hope you know I’m willing to do it for you. No questions asked.” You continue to silently listen to the waves crashing against the sand in front of you. “I’ll do anything for you, Y/N. You made everything about coming here worth it.”

“I hope so.”

“You’re mine, yeah?” He asks and you nod against him before kissing him on the cheek. That night, Keeho, Mingi, Jungkook and Mina join for a tiny bonfire, a last hurrah of some sort for Yeo. You laugh seeing him enjoy one of his last moments with the boys, downing beers and singing along to the songs playing on Keeho’s mini bluetooth speakers. From time to time, Yeosang would dedicate his singing to you, playfully hug you from behind and try to smother your face in kisses. You and Mina took charge of snapping a few photos before taking a walk near the water, leaving the boys to trail behind as they fuck around and continue to loudly sing at the top of their lungs.

“So, what are you gonna do when Yeosang goes back? Did you two plan anything?” You nod as you continue to look at the sand beneath you.

“Yeah. I’m gonna ask Jungkook if I can take some time off to visit him.”

“That’s good.” She playfully nudges you. “He’s so sweet, Y/N. He really adores you, it’s so obvious how much he does. I’m glad his vacation brought you two together.”

“Yeah, unexpected things can be good, huh?” She laughs.

“Do you love him?”

“Is it too early to say so?” She shakes her head.

“Never. I think when two people instantly connect and build a connection like that, there is no such thing as too early.” You shrug.

“I just hope I can keep being good for him, you know? Can’t help but think about it. Our distance. Us being apart.”

“You’re good for each other. I can see it.” You shrug.

“He’s too good for me.”

“Stop it. Don’t start getting into your head, okay? He genuinely cares about you.”

“Yeah, I know.” You look at her with a small smile even though your head is already swirling with a million uncertainties— ones she won’t ever know about. “Gonna miss him a lot.”

“You two will get through this and make it work.” You gently bump arms with hers.

“Hope so.” 

“Baby!” Yeosang yells drunkly, coming to hug you from behind. “Baby.” He repeats against your head, giving you a sweet kiss to the cheek.

“Mhm?”

“I really, really like you.” He says near your ear. “You m-make me so happy. Like.. so fucking happy. I didn’t even expect it and truthfully, I kept telling myself I shouldn’t.” He goes on, making Mina giggle as she slowly steps back and lets you two have your space. “B-but I’m glad I just said fuck it because I—” He dips down to look at you in pure adoration and love. “You’re so pretty. God, you’re so pretty. I feel so fucking lucky.” 

“You’re drunk, Sangie.” You laugh and he hugs you tighter from behind, causing you to pause in your steps and sink into his hug a little more.

“Will not confirm nor deny.” You snort. “But, I still mean everything.”

“You’ve been too good to me. What did I do to deserve it?” You ask softly as you lean into his hug, the question mainly meant to stay in your head. Too late now, though.

“You didn’t have to do anything, love.” He snuggles against your neck and gently places a kiss on the surface. “You’re mine.”

“I am.” You bite onto your bottom lip before kissing his hand, unraveling yourself from his arms to hold his hand and walk alongside of him. Sooner or later, the boys decide they’re crashing from the beer and find it a good point to call it a night. They all give Yeosang a big hug before parting, Mina making sure they all make it home in one piece.

Though Yeosang is drunk, he’s able to walk to your apartment without making too much chaos. You find it incredibly endearing how clingy he seems to get while intoxicated, not able to keep his hands off of you the entire time walk home. Not that you were complaining or anything. It’s crazy because he can pick up on the mood shift, the change in the air, when you walk into the apartment. He can tell there’s something else in your eyes, in your look, your touch. You’re not sad, but you aren’t the happiest either. Quite frankly, you’re not sure how to pinpoint the exact feeling, but you’re finding the need to really make use of your time left with Yeosang. For the rest of the night, you just want to be with him. To kiss every inch, to keep him close. To love on him. You don’t say much as you continue to walk into your studio, quietly grabbing your pajamas before heading to the bathroom and asking Yeosang to join you for a quick shower. His eyes are still glazed over and slightly red, but he joins you anyway— undressing and tossing his clothes aside before stepping into the hot shower. 

Everything about the shower from start to finish is intimate; Yeosang starts off by helping shampoo and condition your hair, long fingers massaging deep into your scalp. You do the same with him, running your hands through his hair as you wash off the product, letting the water cascade down his features. The entire time, Yeosang tightens his grip on your hips, keeping you close even as you wash him off. He doesn’t waste a minute to kiss you, tongue lining your bottom lip as a subtle way to ask for permission— to take this further. As the kiss deepens, you gently tug on the hair resting on the nape of his neck, letting out small moans when you feel Yeosang’s hard length pressed against you. No words are exchanged, but both you and Yeosang transmitted every thought, every feeling, every ounce of pleasure, through your touches, your kisses. He gently backs you to the wall, lifting your leg up and holding it against him— careful not to break the kiss as he finds the perfect angle to tease your slit with his tip and slip himself inside of you. You moan into his mouth when he eases in, the stretch feeling so, so good under the running water.

“God, fuck.” Yeosang moans as he continues to thrust up into you, keeping a slow and steady pace. “So tight for me.”

“Keep going. Please.” You continue to plead for more, and who was Yeosang to deny you of that? He plunges deeper and gets a lil rougher, your back feeling the slight burn from the contact of the cold wall. Your moans are louder this time around, Yeosang continuing to pound into you to bring you to your high.

“I’ll give you everything.” He groans. “Wanna give you the world, baby.” He nibbles onto your earlobe, gently nibbling at your jaw, neck. You tug on the ends of his hair, slowly moving your hips to work with his rhythm. “Cum for me, hm?” He hums, free hand coming down to massage at your sensitive nub. His thumb works in deep, circular motions— at the perfect pace he knows you respond well to. You whine and beg for Yeosang to keep going, spilling out lewd noises as his cock hits you in all the right places, finally pushing you over the edge after a few more thrusts. Your moans echo and bounce off the bathroom walls, whimpering when he chases his own high. His movements become a little sloppy with the force he’s exerting, his own coil snapping within him not too long after you. He coats your walls, muffling his moans against your neck as he gives you every last drop;

Giving you every last bit of him.

“That was nice.” You tease with a giggle before giving him another sweet kiss to the lips.

“It was. We should definitely get cleaned up now.” You nod, letting Yeosang lather you up in some body wash in between kisses before you repeat the same on him. 

When you both finally step out of the shower and finish getting ready for bed, you immediately tuck yourself into Yeosang’s arms, indulging in his warmth and scent. You wish you could pause time and keep it here forever— in the warmest, safest spot you know. And Yeosang feels the same way, too. He wants to repeat the night over and over again, especially when he finds himself yearning for another round just to show you how much you nean to him; laying kisses all over your face, body, before he gets you on all fours and fucks into you like no tomorrow. Especially when you’re so, so good to him, begging and moaning his name like a mantra with every thrust. Especially when you submit to him and give him everything he asks of you. Especially when you tuck yourself into his arms again post-orgasm and cling onto him.

He softly sings a song as he watches you fall into sleep, brushing the hair away from your face to lay a kiss on your forehead. When he looks at you, everything feels right again. When he looks at you, he feels like he’s holding the universe in his arms, has the brightest stars swirling in his orbit. When he looks at you, he sees love. It’s the kind of love he’s never really felt before. One that just feels right, like it’s meant to be. Like he just knows.

“Goodnight, baby.” He whispers against your skin before pulling you closer and shutting his eyes, not wanting to spend a minute away from you.

The last morning comes, and you wish it hadn’t. But the day is here, and you’re forced to face it regardless if you like it or not. You weren’t sure where this would lead you, but now that you’re having to face it. You’re sad, and you’re wanting to hide. Even if Yeosang never had plans to hurt you in the first place. You know he could never hurt a soul; yet, it still didn’t stop you from having those thoughts, from overthinking, from letting your past run your present. The only thing you felt like you were good at at this point was running— running away as far as possible from problems and potential heartbreak.

Luckily, you’re alone this morning and you can cry about it. Yeosang left you alone to go on a run and it’s the perfect time to fucking cry over all of this. You cry about it without Yeosang having to know, you cry about it without any worry that he’d see you. Because you needed to. You needed to cry about it, and you needed to let your feelings out. You were gonna hate this. You were gonna be so sad without him. You might even feel a little regret for having fallen for someone who wasn’t meant to stick around. What if you couldn’t be it for him? What if he realized he couldn’t do this with you? What if he realized you weren’t worth it? What if you just couldn’t be the girl who could take care of him and treat him well in this distance? It all feels so sickening and so, so awful. You should’ve known that maybe, you just weren’t ready to face it. To face this. To be.. this.

You sob into your hands when every negative thought, every overbearing insecurity starts to fill your head— telling you this, telling you that. You weren’t sure what to do from here, and you weren’t sure how things would actually go with Yeosang being gone. It’s not that you didn’t have faith in him. You didn’t have faith in yourself, in your ability to be what Yeosang needed, to provide the love he so absolutely deserved. You didn’t know.

When you’ve cried all that you have left in you, you quickly pad to his bathroom and wash up— making sure to add a little cream to your extra sensitive spots around the eyes to help cover up the fact that you had been crying all morning. You change into the clothes you arrived in last night, cleaning around Yeosang’s studio and making his bed. You whip up a good breakfast, plating the food just as he walks through the door in his loose muscle tank and shorts; face still gleaming with sweat.

“Hey.” He quickly pecks you on the cheek, smiling at the breakfast you made. “Yum.” You giggle. “Let me go shower real quick and I’ll join you, okay? Thank you for the food.” He kisses you on the lips, smiling into the kiss before squeezing your ass and walking off to the bathroom.

Despite the crying, nothing else felt off that morning. At least, Yeosang didn’t pick up on anything, and he certainly couldn’t tell you had been crying while he was out. Though, he does pick up on how much sadder you look, and how much quieter you’ve been today compared to the rest of his time here. It does feel different, but pairing it with the circumstances, it wasn’t entirely unusual. After breakfast, you clean up the dishes and help Yeosang pack up all his things. It’s taking everything in you not to cry again, your heart shattering to pieces at the uncertainty you feel. Yeosang will never know, though. Cause as long as he’s still here, you’ll make sure he spends his time wisely so that he’s returning happy. Rested. Content. Complete. That’s all that matters right now.

You and Yeo take a quick walk to the convenience store to grab him some food for the road, Yeosang saying his goodbyes to the people he’s met and run into. You wish he could stay, maybe it would be easier. But, you’d never be that selfish to make him choose. He shouldn’t have to choose.

“Baby.” Yeosang calls for you, tugging you by the hand and pulling you close.

“Hm?” You hum while he brushes your hair back.

“You okay?” You pout a bit, but you shake your head.

“I will be.” He can see the tears welling in your eyes and he sucks on his teeth before hugging you tightly and pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“We’ll be okay.” He says softly. “Remember? We’re going to visit each other and I’ll come back here as soon as I can. It’s nothing a quick trip into town can’t fix.”

“I know. But, I’m just gonna miss you. A lot.”

“I’ll miss you, too. It’ll come before you know it.” You don’t respond because you’re not sure what else you can say at this point. You’re heartbroken and sad, and there’s nothing that can mask the feelings you’re experiencing at this moment.

Even the ride to the train station is quiet. You’ve opted to look out the window the entire time while holding his hand tightly. Jungkook lets you and Mingi stroll into work a little later today to tend to Yeosang, so Mingi’s in the driver’s seat. He chimes in a few times here and there, but otherwise, he keeps to himself. He does it because the few times he’s looked in the rear view mirror, he can hear you thinking. He can see the internal battle that’s going on, he can see you fighting yourself to stay collected. When on the inside, he knows you’ve already fallen apart.

“You have to come back, alright? We’ll miss you. We’ll wait for you to visit again.” Mingi says, pulling Yeosang into a hug before patting his back a few times and helping him with his luggage. Mingi steps away to give you two your moment, and all you do is throw your arms around Yeosang tightly. He whispers how much you mean to him and how much he’ll miss you against your head, telling you that he’ll wait for you to come to him and that he’ll always choose you. You look up at him and finally give him a few pecks to the lips, taking in every last bit of him before he goes.

“I love you.” He says lowly, and it makes you feel excited and sad at the same time to hear the words come out of his mouth.

“I love you, too.” You stick a few extra polaroids you’ve taken of him, the town, your friends and the both of you together in his jacket pocket before wrapping your arms around him tightly. It’s a hug that feels like the last time, and it shatters your heart into a million pieces knowing you won’t be able to do this tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. He leaves you with one last deep, passionate kiss. 

When his figure disappears into the station, you break down in Mingi’s arms, and he’s having to hold you, console you, for a good couple of minutes. He tries his best to coo you and calm you down, but he knows there’s nothing he can say or do to make this better at the moment. As much as he’d like to block you and save you from your own thoughts, he can’t. But, he holds you and holds you because it’s the best thing he can do as your friend right now.

“You’ll see him soon, things will fall into place again. Let’s get you home.” You quietly oblige, continuing to cry silently in the passenger’s seat once Mingi takes off and brings you home.

Yeosang hates it. He looks out the window of the train, watching the town drift away behind him. He feels his own tears pricking his bottom lids and he can’t help but quickly wipe away at it when the town gets further and further away. Separating from you was the worst thing he’s felt in awhile, even though he’ll see you soon. It’s just hard to have to go about his days without seeing you like he used to. It’ll be a big fucking adjustment.

He texts you during his train ride, checking in on you and making sure you’re okay. You don’t text him too quickly, and he suspects it’s because you’re having a hard time yourself. You do eventually respond though, and it puts a smile on his face that you still seem to be the same despite the circumstances.

“Look who’s back!” Wooyoung, Jongho and Chaerin stand there to welcome him back. He smiles at them, giving them all a big hug. It’s a big source of comfort for him right now.

“So, how was your trip?! Heard you were having a good ass time.” Jongho teases from the back seat, squeezing Yeosang’s shoulders. 

“We missed you.” Chaerin adds.

“I didn’t. I think that was just you.” Wooyoung teases and she flips him off.

“Fuck off Wooyoung.”

“I missed you guys, too. It was fun, though.”

“Tell us about Y/N.” Wooyoung smirks from the driver’s seat. “Do we get to meet her?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Yeosang smiles to himself at the thought of you before diving into the details of everything he’s done in town, all the people he met, Keeho, Mina, Jungkook and Mingi. They all grab dinner at a sushi spot in town, now giving Yeosang updates about what’s been going on at work and in their lives over the past month. Chaerin keeps close to him even though she’s torn about her feelings right now. Of course, she’s happy that Yeosang is happy. It’s all she wants. But, she won’t lie and say she’s okay because she’s not. Right now, she’ll push her feelings aside and welcome him home because she is glad to have him back. She knows he needs his friend more than anything. Overall, it’s a good dinner, and he’s happy to be back with his friends.

Afterwards, Wooyoung takes everyone home, bidding Yeosang farewell and telling him to sleep well before his first day back tomorrow. Yeosang lets out a sigh when he kicks off his shoes and sets his things aside. He immediately gets to showering before unpacking, neatly folding his clothes back into his closet unless he’s tossing them into his hamper. He looks around his empty apartment, grabbing a cold glass of water to drink before shutting off the lights. Settling at home feels.. weird, to say the least. Home is still home, and he finds comfort in that. But, home doesn’t feel as complete without you. 

He pads over to his room and finishes tidying up the last bit of his things before getting his clothes ready for tomorrow. He digs into his jacket hanging on his chair, pulling out the shell you gifted him earlier in the month and the polaroids you stuck into his pocket. He sets them down on the nightstand next to his bed, smiling to himself when he quickly flips through them. It’ll be a nice ‘lil reminder when he needs it the most, so he keeps it there. When he settles in bed, he grabs his phone to read your latest texts. He gets distracted and smiles when he sees your picture as his lockscreen, his numbers finding his way to your contact information and pressing the call button.

“Hey you.” He bites his lip hearing your voice on the other line.

“Hey baby.”

“Finished with your dinner?”

“Mhm. It was nice.”

“You tipsy, huh?” You giggle and it makes him crack an even bigger smile.

“Kinda, yeah. I miss you, pretty.”

“I miss you too, Sangie. I’m glad dinner was good. I’m sure your friends are happy to have you back.”

“Mm, they’re okay. How’s everything there?”

“Good. I just got home not too long ago from the restaurant. Trying to keep myself as busy as possible.” He lets out a breath, throwing his hand behind his head.

“I get that.”

“You ready to head back to work tomorrow?”

“Sheesh, hell no.” He laughs. “But, it was a good month away so I can’t really complain.”

“It’ll be fine, love.” You say softly and Yeosang’s heart soars; he can almost feel his heart ready to burst out of his chest.

“Mmyeah.”

“You should go to sleep.”

“Only if you come with.” You laugh. 

“Well, I am in bed. Can we fall asleep on the phone together?”

“Of course. I’ll probably be up early, though.”

“That’s fine. I know you’ll hang up and leave me for work.”

“Baby.” Yeosang kinda whines and you laugh a little louder.

“Kidding. I know, I know.”

“I can’t wait until I see you already.” Yeosang says sleepily, turning to his side as he plugs his phone into the charger.

“Same.”

“Damn.” Yeosang groans a bit, eyes getting heavy. “Fucking hate sleeping without you.”

“Go to sleep, tipsy.”

“I love you, Y/N.” You pause, swallowing the lump in your throat as you let his words marinate.

“I love you, too.” You respond, barely above a whisper. “Sleep well, Yeosang.”

The first day Yeosang steps back into the office, he’s greeted by a couple of people that are happy to have him back. Everyone compliments on the glow he’s sporting and how happy and refreshed he seems to be. He can’t help but shyly laugh about it, a red tint coloring his cheeks when he tells them he’s had a good time and that he might’ve met someone really special there. He sets his things down onto his desk, fixing up a few things before he heads towards the kitchen with his mug in hand. There are a few interns sitting in one of the main conference rooms, and Yeosang is able to get a good look at them on his way to the kitchen. They all look fairly young, as if they had just graduated. One sits at the far corner in a loose grey button up shirt tucked into his slacks, black frames sitting on his face. He gives Yeosang a tight-lipped smile when they accidentally make contact, making Yeosang give him a curt nod in response. 

“Hella interns.” Wooyoung throws his arm around Yeosang as they continue to walk to the kitchen. 

“Do we have one?”

“No. I think most of them are in R&D. Operations. A select few in marketing and media.”

“Cool.”

“So, when exactly are we going to meet Y/N?”

“She’s gonna come down in a few weeks.” He glares at Woo. “When she does, please don’t be all up in her space.” 

“Why not?” Woo laughs loudly. “I’m sure we’ll get along fine.” He smiles widely at his bestfriend. “Fucking champ, look at you. Not only did you get some, but you also got a girlfriend out of it.” Yeo nudges him in the chest as he grabs a cup of coffee.

“The hell is wrong with you, seriously.”

“She’s cute.” Wooyoung smiles as he picks up Yeosang’s phone resting on the counter. “Is Mina single?” Yeosang snatches the phone out of his grip and rolls his eyes.

As for the rest of the day, it goes by as normally as possible. Yeosang falls back into his routine quickly; the only change now being that he’s carved out time to talk to you on the phone or facetime you. All the things he does in a day, he does it with you in mind— he takes pictures to send to you and vice versa, he thinks of little things he can buy for you and surprise you with later. He cooks himself a good meal or two he imagines you’d like. So despite falling back into his usual routine, it’s more exciting this time around because he has you.

Over the days, weeks, leading up to the day he’d see you again, you were good about answering his calls and his texts. You’d send him pictures of yourself, or with your friends and he’d do the same. Sometimes, you’d send him the nastiest nudes and he wouldn’t know how to act, spending some hours late at night having phone sex with you, yearning for every inch of you. Everything made it easier to cope with the distance; every conversation feeling like the first. 

But as time got closer to the day you’d come down to visit him, you’d gotten busier. He didn’t think much of it, knowing you were always so cooped up at the restaurant or shelter. It did make him sad, especially when it’d be hours on end and he’d barely hear from you, or when you’d tell him you were too tired to talk for long. Still, Yeosang didn’t think anything was wrong. He couldn’t think anything was wrong because there wasn’t any telling sign that could point to a particular problem besides you being tired. He trusted you, though. He remained patient. Now that he thinks about it, maybe he shouldn’t have, maybe he should’ve pressed a little harder to keep your attention. Yeosang wishes he can rewind time— rewind time to when things felt perfect, when things felt so good and so new. So fresh. So beautiful. Especially when the day comes that he gets to see you again. Or so, he thought.

He wakes up to a rather early ‘goodmorning’ text from you, but that’s all there is to it. He sends a quick ‘can’t wait to see you’ in response before scrambling to get up and get ready for work. Despite being a few minutes late, he’s still happily walking around the office. He greets a few people goodmorning, which is a bit out of character for him, but he smiles it off anyway. Grabs his usual cup of coffee while running into a few of the new interns and carries on with his day.

“Is she coming?!” Jongho pops up at Yeosang’s desk while he’s deep into his pile of work, trying to get it all knocked out of the way so he can stroll up out of here sooner than later.

“Mhm! She should be on the way.”

“Dude, fuck work? Get outta here and get ready to see your girl.” Yeosang shakes his head and laughs. “You should’ve called in sick.”

“Yeah, cause they’d definitely let me do that after taking a whole month off.” Yeosang sighs. “All good, I’m almost done here anyway.”

“What’re you gonna do tonight?”

“Take her out for dinner, maybe catch a movie at the theater?”

“Cute. How long is she gonna stay for?”

“A week?”

“Then you’ll go back to see her a few weeks after?” Yeosang nods. “Damn. What about later on in the future? Have you guys discussed that far?” 

“No. But, we will. We’ll figure it out.”

“Let’s plan dinner with her tomorrow or something. Definitely before she leaves.” Yeo nods.

“Yeah, I’ll let her know. She said she really wants to meet you guys.”

“Never seen you this sappy before. Shit is crazy.” Jongho teases before Yeo playfully throws punches his way that he blocks.

Once Yeosang finishes up with work, he waves to his friends and hurries out of the building to make it to the flower shop before it closes.  He grabs a fresh, colorful bouquet, bringing it to his nose before smiling contently— imagining that pretty smile of yours, hearing that cute giggle of yours ringing in the air. 

It had been too long, and Yeosang couldn’t wait to have you back in his arms.

He checks his watch and realizes he’ll be running a few minutes late if he doesn’t hurry and book it to the meeting spot you two had agreed on earlier in the week. He quickly sends you a text to let you know he’s on his way to the spot and shoves his phone into his pocket without giving it a second look. Yeosang picked a spot that wasn’t entirely far from work and right next to a restaurant he made reservations for tonight. At the end of the bridge that joins two streets together, he’d hopefully find you there.

❊ FLASHBACK

“Did you get the link I just sent you?” Yeosang asks on the phone, and you pull up the address to the restaurant he forwarded.

“Mhm! I should go here?”

“Tell the taxi to drop you off across the street, there’s a passenger drop-off area. The restaurant is on the other side of the bridge. I’ll be there.”

“Okay.

“I’m sorry I can’t pick you up at the station, love.” He says defeatedly. “I’m just getting out of work at that time.”

“That’s okay, I can make my way around like a big girl.” You laugh. 

“Can’t wait to kiss you and hold you again.”

“I can’t wait either.”

❊ END

He gets there and he’s half-relieved you haven’t arrived yet, or else he would’ve felt terrible for making you wait. He brushes himself off a bit, holding the bouquet close to his chest while he waits; scanning the surroundings for any sign of you. Everytime he catches sight of a taxi dropping off passengers across the street, he holds his breath; both nervous and excited to see your face after weeks of seeing you solely over the phone. But, nothing.

He looks down at his watch and realizes 15 minutes have passed, and they have been the longest 15 minutes he’s known to ever endure. He’s slightly worried as to why you haven’t arrived yet, dumbing it down to the fact that maybe your train was late. Or, that there was a ton of traffic on the way over [since it is rush hour time]. He waits. And he waits. 

15 minutes turns into 30, and Yeosang finds himself sitting on a bench when it nears 45 minutes. The little light of hope he once had was quickly diminishing; his heart breaking, crumbling to pieces. Those sharp edges cutting into him deep, making him feel sick to his stomach as he sets the bouquet down on the floor when it reaches the hour mark. You weren’t here. You weren’t ever going to be here.

Even though he continues to wait, pulling his phone in and out of his pocket to check if he somehow missed you, missed a call, a text. It’s then that he realizes the text never even went through, that your number was no longer a blue bubble, but green. He feels his hands trembling, lips releasing a shaky breath he had been holding onto; the only thing he’s had left in him. Because he loved you, and he still does, even though tonight showed that maybe, you didn’t feel the same. And what hurts the most for Yeosang is that he’s not sure if you ever did because clearly, you were never his.

❊ taglist: @asjkdk @bintificreads @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[cowboydk]

still working on part two! i unfortunately got very sick after the ateez concert (which seems to have happened to quite a few people from the same show) and am still recovering, but it is a work in progress!!