i just infodumped to my friends about bpd anakin and i have No Regrets snakjdkajfsk
anyway, doth thee have any more bpd anakin (or just anakin in general) headcanons becuase i am living for this
I am So Sorry this took so long, but hopefully the length makes up for it. Thank you so much for sending this to me bc BPD!Anakin is my entire life. I could talk about it all day, every day.
I’d like to thank @apple-grass-and-smiles for helping me organize my Thoughts on all of this, prompting me to focus on certain things and giving me feedback in general too.
Okay, here goes:
Anakin fidgets!! I’m not even sure if this is a headcanon but if it is I will die on this hill. He can’t stay still for the life of him and doubly so when he’s anxious, nervous or Ready To Do Something Already.
We know Anakin can’t hold eye contact to save his life when he’s upset or insecure, but I can also see him having issues with touch when he’s upset, unless it’s from certain people only (Padmé always gets a pass, for example).
Anakin’s quick to let some small stuff go, but larger things people do that hurt him (whether intentionally or not) aren’t really ever forgotten, and he just kind of takes that in and suppresses it, until random moments when it pops up, he remembers, and it just hurts like it’s happening all over again. The people around him often have no idea what fully sets him off, bc to them, his reaction now seems out of nowhere while his mind’s still stuck on this other thing.
- His reactions also seem sometimes like they’re Over The Top, but even just remembering past hurts can feel almost disabling at times. It’s worse when he ends up ruminating on it, because the hurt and feelings of betrayal just keep building up over and over until it almost blots everything else out.
When he’s happy or surrounded by those he loves, everyone kind of can feel it too, bc he’s just fuckoff powerful in the Force and esp other Force sensitives kind of gather around his space and just… his affection and excitement are literally infectious.
This probably runs closer to ADHD than BPD for sure, but get him talking about anything mechanical (robotics, engineering, racing, etc) and he will go from 0 to 100 so fast you’d get whiplash. No one minds though bc, as I said, his excitement is infectious and honestly those around him just adore listening to him go off even though half of it goes over their head.
- Ahsoka may not ever get Gotta Go Fast, but she definitely loves it when he really talks her ear off about all this stuff, bc it makes her excited to learn and she picks up on all of it easily. (There’s a part of her that wants to emulate him and she does def look up to him obviously.)
- We see it with Obi-Wan, but people love to use his love of all things mechanical as a way to distract him from things that upset him. It doesn’t always work but they try.
With Obi-Wan, he ends up on the side of Anakin’s splitting like, all the time. And unfortunately sometimes Obi-Wan can’t tell that Anakin’s lashing out not because of something Obi-Wan’s actually done, but bc Anakin’s young and Obi-Wan’s the figure he can project a lot of his frustrations on.
- It can lead Obi-Wan to being confused and hurt sometimes, bc he doesn’t always understand Anakin’s thought processes when this happens, and it definitely sometimes cuts him to the core. On the reverse side, though Anakin might not always say it to his face, Obi-Wan definitely can overhear him at times when Anakin’s ready to 1v1 anyone who even so much as makes a frowny face about Obi-Wan, which helps Obi-Wan remember that Anakin does love him too, actually.
- It ends up being one of the points of frisson between Anakin and Mace, bc Anakin can’t read body language perfectly, especially when it comes to feelings of abandonment or someone seemingly not loving who Anakin loves to the same degree. Mace has a drier sense of humor at times and defs has a more resting frowny face, and this rankles Anakin at times bc he can’t always tell when Mace is just chilling vs being disappointed, and while Anakin will take it all personally, he ALSO takes any perceived criticism to those he loves personally too.
- Both Mace and Obi-Wan don’t get this bc they have a perfectly fine relationship. Anakin’s just Like That.
- (And super overprotective of people’s perceptions of Obi-Wan. Anakin will go off about Obi-Wan being mean and all that, but fuck you and your entire family tree if you ever even think Obi-Wan’s anything short as the most amazing Jedi to ever Jedi.)
Everybody and their mother can see the pedestal Anakin puts Padmé on, and surprisingly she rarely is on the end of his splitting. When he does, he just internalizes it bc he can’t stand the idea that he’s somehow seen her in a wrong light, or he feels guilty for getting angry with her.
- He also defines a huge chunk of his life around loving her, making her his center for a lot of his decisions and reactions, so when they’re off, his whole world seems backwards. It makes him Really uncomfortable and unsure. He gets panicky and upset and often people have no idea what the cause is so they just end up a lil panicky in return.
- He tends to take it out on others, by doing an exercise or by disappearing to fiddle with something.
- Pads has an easier time recognizing Anakin’s emotional needs, bc in some ways they’re the same as hers. She’s good at reaching out to him, comforting him and reassuring him of her love. And in turn, he like, never fucking shuts up about how much he loves her, and those moments are what make her feel so special around him. Being loved by Anakin makes someone feel important and even get tingly, bubbly happy feelings, because it’s hard to doubt it sometimes.
- There’s a part of her that sometimes worries about how Intense he is, but, like I said, when his positive intense emotions are focused on you, it feels wonderful. And he’s genuinely super sweet and gentle, and she appreciates that, when she tells him to back off about something, he’ll listen to her wishes. (I’m using movie Anakin as my base here bc TCW!Anakin in this regard is just…. bad y’all lmao)
Anakin’s anxious about Ahsoka All The Time. He’s afraid he’s a bad teacher, he’s afraid he’ll mess her up somehow, he’s afraid he’ll hurt her or she’ll get hurt, and that’s why he can’t stand the idea sometimes of her being on her own. It’s not a lack of trust in her abilities, but because he feels responsible for her, and that’s why he’s always ready to put himself between her and literally anything that could potentially hurt her. (Even if it’s not a physical threat.)
- There are times she finds this amusing and times this makes her angry, but mostly she is long suffering. There are times she appreciates it though, bc she’s still a kid and isn’t always sure which way is up, especially when in a war. Anakin is often a cornerstone for her, and though she’d literally NEVER admit it, his overprotectiveness can sometimes be a reassurance. She knows she can handle herself just fine, but when she has an inkling of doubt, she’ll remind herself that Anakin will be there, and then go and take care of the problem herself.
- She doesn’t always get his moments where he’s not always falling over himself to talk Obi-Wan up or go out of his way to sass at him. To her, they have a wonderful relationship and she rarely notices when Obi-Wan might say something that pokes at Anakin wrong, so she often just winds up ???? when Anakin is huffy or annoyed with her grandmaster.
- She sees Anakin’s anger issues a little more easily than others, and she worries about it but always brushes it off or downplays it, bc she always sees why he’s angry, and also always just assumes (like everyone else) that he can Handle It.
- Anakin’s recklessness and impulsivity are some of her favourite things about being his padawan. He’s literally never boring to be around, and Ahsoka needs that sort of excitement to sometimes push aside the knowledge that she’s literally in a warzone. Anakin’s also really good at doing this intentionally; he’s literally always worrying after her, and all he wants to do is take care of those he loves and make them happy, so sometimes he’ll be Extra just to get under her skin or distract her and honestly this is the basis of where their playful competitions always come from.
If Ahsoka is long suffering, Rex is doubly so. Sometimes it’s all he can do to keep up with Anakin and Ahsoka, but he appreciates Anakin “thinking outside the box”. He also appreciates knowing that Anakin is just as loyal to him and his men as he himself is (well… Anakin is until he isn’t lmao)
- Rex, like Pads, is really good at picking up Anakin’s moods and even trains of thought, so he’s always able to work around that, or even see where Anakin’s mind is going when coming up with a plan. They make a really good team bc while Anakin can jump from one idea to another without them seemingly correlated, Rex immediately follows Anakin’s leaps and they just end up in sync.
- That being said, Anakin can be really confusing at times. His moods are often so all over the place, that Rex generally has no idea what tf is going on. He deals with it by learning to be calm when Anakin’s unable to, and just ride out Anakin’s worst moods until they pass by, learning not to let it all phase him. Anakin lowkey hates it when he’s upset, but once the worst of it passes, he really appreciates that Rex will just… not press like Obi-Wan, or balances out the moments Anakin’s mind is so cluttered by instead just keeping a good focus on things.
Probably everyone’s most baffling symptom of Anakin’s is his paranoia. Obi-Wan kind of sees it the most, because Anakin is always testy with the Council and often feels put on the spot, dismissed and looked down upon. To everyone else, they don’t get where Anakin’s ideas come from, bc everything seems chill on their end. His fretting about others’ well-being is straightforward enough, but his instant panic-turned-anger shift when he receives any criticism (especially the perceived type) always gives people whiplash. It’s hard to keep up with, hard to see what it was that got to him so much, and hard to know how to help (particularly when they’re worried that trying to help him will feel like “taking sides”).
- Ahsoka takes Anakin’s POV of the Council pretty easily, at least when it comes to him. This is mostly bc she’s not there when there’s a meeting or tension around them, nor was she there when Anakin first arrived, so she just assumes they must genuinely often have issues with him too. She doesn’t see it to the extent Anakin does though, but she recognizes that sometimes he seems to blow things out of proportion when he’s upset, and figures it’ll just blow over once he’s calmed down.
- Pads, on the other hand, is always kind of aware of Anakin’s fears of losing her. He often not-so-subtly looks for reassurances that she loves him and won’t leave him, that she’s feeling alright or not angry/annoyed with him. She chalks it up to his trauma with his mother (and she’s partially right), so even when sometimes it gets on her nerves that he seems to doubt her so much, she tries to remind herself of that and let it go.
Those closest to him can pick up that Anakin tends to see the negative in things, and is generally really hard on himself. They try to help out by giving praise where it’s due and just overall Being There, but it’s Rough to know they often don’t get through. (Palps, on the other hand, knows how to weaponize this.)
The saddest part is that I don’t think anyone once thought Anakin was Seriously Ill, partly out of ignorance, partly bc they assumed it had to do with his age/upbringing, and partly bc, eventually, everyone was dealing with trauma and even if someone wanted to send Anakin back to the Temple to have a nap or something, they legit couldn’t bc there was a war going on and he also would never have tolerated it at that point in time.
- Obi-Wan’s the one who worries about all of this the most, because he’s always felt such a huge responsibility for Anakin and loves him a lot, he’s just never fully been able to understand how to get on the same wavelength as Anakin.
- Anakin, too, actually never fully figures out that there is something Going On. Everything’s always overwhelming him and even though he prefers doing things at 100mph, sometimes it seems like there is Too Much going on, and even during peace times it just felt like he couldn’t keep up with everything. He hates internal reflection but also can’t stop overthinking about everything, and so he just ruminates and goes in circles and often just ends up going nowhere when it comes to dealing with things. He tries his hardest all the time, he is ALWAYS trying, but doing stupid stunts, fighting droids, making robots and speeding everywhere all the time is truthfully only a bandaid.
- Being surrounded by those he adores and receiving affection from them/seeing them happy boosts his mood a lot but he doesn’t have enough self-awareness to guess at why his happier moods just won’t last.
- Sometimes he can figure out when he’s being irrational and then just takes it out on himself, which only exacerbates his bad episodes.
Palpatine doesn’t help. He’s abusive, manipulates Anakin all the time and is the Worst and definitely makes everything Anakin is struggling with harder and I think we should all just punt him into a sun thank you this isn’t a headcanon I just want everyone to know how much I hate him
squirrelflight's hope is a very bad book but "she deserved to be loved." "she was loved. i loved her." is genuinely one of the greatest most emotionally raw lines in all of the books ever. there is so much in there. she was loved. i loved her. i can't explain to you guys what happens to me when i think about she was loved i loved her
There are sapphic undertones I swearr. Like, Siwon being asked "Have you never been in love" and her being dismissive about it. Hyeryung drawing Siwon. Them practically living together. Siwon's disinterested in Hyeryung's crush on Gitae.
You could never make me hate Kim Nari. She's such a well written complex and smart female character. Her anger was justified. I disliked her in the beginning but ended the show empathetic.
Jibyeok always growing on me. I think jiyeong in particular would be namgyus best opp…to me these two are kind of similar in that intentionally or not they tend to pick fights they cant win
Synopsis: Reader says yo yo homo to him and he is flabbergasted, you accuse him of being in a relationship with baekjin of all people and he decides hes going to dick you down but the tables turn and somehow hes on the bottom getting slapped by you?
hi!! saw your requests were open, so i'd like to request this if possible!
historical au prince!miya atsumu x knight!male reader where reader has been assigned head of his personal guard and stays by his side basically 24/7 as a bodyguard
fluff and one-shot please :)
By Your Side
A prince with a questionable personality and reckless attitude needs protection, and you are the best candidate for the job.
Characters: Atsumu X Male!Reader
Info: Historical AU; Prince!Atsumu and Knight!Reader; Fluff; forbidden love kind of ¿
The Inarizaki kingdom, one of the region's greatest powers, boasts strategic prowess and excellence in combat. But this is because all its soldiers undergo intensive training until they reach perfection and, perhaps one day, are worthy of serving the royal family, the Miya's.
The Miya are one of the most influential bloodlines at the moment, and that's precisely why a direct attack against them could occur at any moment. Many crave their status and influence, so it's understandable that other kingdoms may be plotting to seize the territory for themselves, or even annihilate the entire royal family, until the one responsible seizes the throne for themselves.
So that's why you've been assigned to protect the prince, Atsumu Miya, who will inherit the throne and will eventually become the next king.
This is certainly not an easy task, and you're not talking about the assassins who could come at any moment, but rather because Atsumu is insufferable.
And now, you were ensuring that he himself was the cause of his death.
"Stop playing around! There's a ball going on downstairs. Your presence is required there." You take a deep breath while pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to remain calm even in a situation like this. "It is because of your recklessness that your father appointed me." You watch from a few steps away as Atsumu twirls one of the daggers that was resting on the wooden stand between his fingers.
"Why? Afraid that I might get hurt? How cute." With a swift movement, he throws the dagger, which passes inches from your face and sinks perfectly into the worn target. You don't even flinch at the action that was supposed to intimidate you, instead you just walk towards the target and pull out the stuck blade.
"This is an event made just for you, so what's the point of all this if you're not-"
But before you could finish your sermon, you feel the presence of the blond right behind you, who runs his fingertips over the breastplate of your armor. Your body freezes in an instant, and your breath catches in your throat, something ignites in your heart, something that shouldn't happen.
"What's the point of going somewhere where you won't be with me?" He now rests his chin on her shoulder, and even though it doesn't look at all comfortable, he seems to like the position, or maybe how close your faces are now. "But I'm always by your side."
"You know I didn't mean it that way."
The hand that had been circling the metal now gently cups your chin, the rough fingertips sending shivers down your spine. And in one simple movement, he pulls you into a kiss, as soft as the sound of the violin, muffled by the walls of the room. The kiss ends as quickly as it began, but your lips remain mere inches apart.
"My parents want me to get married soon, so they organized the entire region for this event, trying to find a bride who can stand by my side when I rule the entire kingdom, but..." His palm gently rests on your cheek, which is completely red from the unexpected contact. "...I don't want to be destined to spend my entire life with anyone other than you."
Your expression shows conflict, with the whole situation, and even more so with your feelings, which become increasingly confused. "But... this is wrong, you know it wouldn't work." And even though you utter bitter words, you still return the affectionate gesture, covering his hand with yours, full of scars from your past battles.
"And yet, you never abandoned me." "Because that is my duty." "You had many chances to leave, but you didn't." "Because-" "And yet, you look at me with those eyes."
Now, you had no arguments left to counter the words that were coated in facts. That mouth that always spouted irritating comments captivated you completely, and yet, even though there were ups and downs, you never took these little attacks personally.
God, you loved him.
You change your position, now face to face with the prince, who yearns for closeness and rests his forehead against yours. "But what about your parents? What about your brother? What would they think of this? What would your people think if they saw us like this?" You express your concern, and Atsumu just gives you a somewhat smug smile, as if he doesn't care about the situation. "I can do whatever I want," he whispers in that smug tone of his, and a laugh escapes your lips. "No, you can't."
"Well then, when I become the next king, I can do whatever I want, then nothing will separate me from you."
At the sweet words, you feel your face heat up again, and you look away, where the nearly open window reveals the darkness of the night. And that's when you realize you've been away longer than you should have.
At the large table filled with rich pastries, Osamu takes one and quickly puts it in his mouth, and lets out a sound of satisfaction as he tastes the explosion of flavors, looking around in alert in case someone catches him committing such a dishonorable act. Just as he was about to reach out for another, he felt a squeeze on his shoulder. Even without looking back, he knew it was his brother.
"Be careful not to eat it all, or there won't be any left for our guests." Atsumu's comment is clearly ironic, seeing as he's the next one to get his hands on one of the treats.
"As if you care about that..."
The silence that falls between them is soon filled with the orchestra's melody. The couples present soon join in for a slow dance, the skirts of the dresses spreading across the room as they dance, coloring the entire room.
There was a certain anxiety filling the hearts of all the beautiful women present, praying to the gods that she might be the queen who would rule the kingdom of Inarizaki with the prince, the future king. But little do they know, none of them are deemed worthy of his true feelings.
Osamu looks to the side and sees that his brother is staring at a specific point, or someone.
You.
And so he realizes that there is no one who can steal his brother's heart, after all, it was already conquered a long time ago.
a/n: heeey.... I know it's been a long time since I received this request, and it was only a few days ago that I discovered it....😭😭
Actually, when I announced my return a long time ago I thought I could write, but it turned out I tried to do several things but they weren't turning out the way I wanted, and I felt I could improve. So I gave myself some more time to try to improve my writing, and I think I've improved just a little.
And now I promise that I will be able to write better and I will try to make the content here more consistent! And maybe I'll write more Twisted Wonderland content than Haikyuu, and I hope you guys keep following me even after this change😓😓
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