colt @cowboywowboy - Tumblr Blog

When you're incurably awkward 1 path to victory is being hot and getting what you want anyway because confidence can't make things any worse than where you started

musicgirlsthings

If you see me being manipulated by a woman don't save me, I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.

sapphling

i hope every introverted hopeless romantic with a secret freak side finds an ANCIENT COIN

jobuddy

segamascott

I need to fight another butch like two rabid dogs going at it, and then at the end we literally lick each other's wounds.

#I ask for very little.#It's a low cost activity also.#In this economy we need to introduce homoerotic fight clubs as a free community oriented third space.

Alright, so I feel like that we can't all be knights and jesters and princesses, right? Someone has to be the evil advisor, whispering in the kings ear, slowly corrupting them, sexy style. Alright, alright, here goes, yes?

(Whispering in your ear) Sire, you should, ehm, take off your clothes. Your kingdom demands a tits-out sort of look.

Oh, dungeon? Dungeon forever you say? Like sexy dungeon? No. Regular ass obliette with the rats. Ah. Well. Consider my tits-out advice. Yes okay, I'm going.

#I was the kid at recess that exclusively played the role no one else wanted to play because 'Someone had to'#No one had to play the stableboy; 10 year old colt.#Ironically I think stableboy would be my role in whatever alternate universe all the knight kink fantasies take place in.#I would be a very good attentive knight but as you know sometimes you just don't get that promotion.#Even in my fantasies I cannot win.#knight kink

I think it is actually quite sexually exhilerating when terrible things happen to me!

#The sexual tension between me and problems!#One can only hope that one day the terrible thing to happen to me will be a buxom princess and not. Like. Economic strife.

I want to rest my chin on someone's knee and wait eagerly for permission to please them while they comb their fingers through my hair. And I also want a motorbicycle with a pair of trucknuts so low that they scrape and bounce against the asphalt and cause sparks and such (very badass), but I am told that they would almost inevitably bounce under my wheels or richochet off the concrete and become a lethal projectile or cause some other disaster. So I guess I just can't have anything.

#Oh I would also like a Sprite!

cowboywowboy

Hair growth on my stomach has resulted in a dynamic shift between my cat and I, who by simple manufacturing error, has a bald pink tummy. I have taken to, delightedly, petting my own tummy fur and turning to him and going "Who do you think took your fuzz?"

cowboywowboy

An important aspect of this is that he enjoys laying on my stomach, so before, if I had my shirt off, it would be bald-to-bald stomach contact. Now there is a barrier to protect me.

#When I was sick I made the mistake of allowing him into my room. He loooooved the way my fever made my stomach warm.#I was sweating terribly and had to banish him. No furry beasts will rest on my feverish belly. It's uncomfortable and bizarre.

Hair growth on my stomach has resulted in a dynamic shift between my cat and I, who by simple manufacturing error, has a bald pink tummy. I have taken to, delightedly, petting my own tummy fur and turning to him and going "Who do you think took your fuzz?"

#I am too easily entertained by my new body hair. I literally see the hair growth on my arm and giggle like a schoolgirl.#It's still very fine and blonde #But damn it. I like my fuzz.#And I like my kitty cat's bald tummy.

dickstolebyanalien

mychart loves to send you eight emails that you need to use 2 factor authentication to view in the webapp that say like "You went to the doctor Today."

They need to invent muscle relaxers that I can use during the daylight and also while operating heavy machinery and also while jacking it nasty.

#This has devolved from a hornyblog to a complaining about cronic pain blog.#Watch me develop and intoxication kink because I need to take my meds at the same time every evening roughly at the same time I get frisky.#But once they kick in I can hardly move so I'm just stucky being sleepy and turned on until I eventually fall asleep.#Weaker muscle relaxers certainly must exist.#Oh the folly of having bones.

I survived being sick.

#It was unpleasant.

I have crawled in bed with a fever. Where is my beguiling physician that will sit at my bedside and take advantage of my vulnerability to do experiments on me? Where is the fair maiden to spoon soup in my mouth while padding the sweat off my forehead? Where is the beautiful priest to hold their hand over my heart while reading scripture over me? Where is the fellow waiting outside my dwelling with a shovel and a wagon, checking his watch, because he's got a deadline to meet.

#My new agenda is to turn every inconvenience of mine into an elaborate fantasy.#Just wait until I discover how to make daily migraines a metaphor for service topping.#Just wait until I figure out how doing my taxes is actually about swapping spit.#Just wait until I figure out how fumbling every convo Ive had with a pretty lady is actually about nailing a conversation with a pretty lady

aggot

reblogging hot cowboy pictures but frowning to show that i acknowledge the complicated and often oppressive but simultaneously diverse and multicultural aspects the profession historically entailed

Knight who can still feel the blood under their fingernails after they wash, completely disenchanted by the supposed "sacred" nature of the work. They contend with the fact that they don't wear the vestiges of a soldier of faith but the apron of a butcher. This isn't sacred--merely political. They aren't a holy warrior--merely a weapon. But they are too much of a craven whelp to do the righteous thing and refuse orders. Not even martrydom would save them from perdition now.

And so they still take orders from their regent. It's the closest to a God they have left. Carnage is the closest they have to prayer. Cowardice is the closest they have to devotion

#knightcore #Should they suffer? Clap if you think they should suffer.

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colt