an overdue reflection on the lavenoor situation
Sorry for reviving the tags after we had such a long period of peace and quiet, but i just can't feel great about the latest post in the tag just being a pity party that's not even directly related to Noor.
There is absolutely no way we can just let it end like that.
What do you mean Melocherie gets to leave, as if she was some exiled hero who's been wronged by the masses? No. No way.
Considering we're celebrating a whole month of her finally leaving this godforsaken tag alone, let me share with everyone some insights on the person who's been hating on Noor more than even the actual victim of grooming, and don't worry, we'll also talk about Star themselves later.
i need to emphasise the fact that i do believe that Noor is a groomer and i am very much glad that she decided to erase her presence from the internet. This is not an invitation to discredit Star as a victim of grooming, nor do i believe in 'perfect victims'. However, victim's shouldn't be exempt from criticism. If you act like a jerk towards other's, both actively and passively, you should be called out for it; no amount of abuse can justify the abuse of others.
We will start with the petty and generally milder grievances, before getting to the serious ones.
My last point will be the synthesis of this long essay that will touch on everything that has been stated in the other points, but if you wish for an even shorter TL;DR there's one at the very bottom.
NOTE: Now i know that not everyone is on the server, which started after the whole Noor situation came out, so i've decided to add some compiled snapshots, since tumblrs image limit would make it impossible for me to showcase the true extend of what went on in the server. The names of the server members are censored, with the exception of Meloche and Star themselves, because they're the subject of this whole post.
You may have to excuse me for some of the shoddier looking image compilations, but this is due to tumblrs image limit, and the fact that i didnt want to spam the tag with several posts that talked about the same thing.
Starting with the truly petty stuff: for someone who seemingly cares a lot about readability by making sure to double space between every word, she doesn't seem to think about dark mode user's at all, as you can see here.
Jokes aside, i do have actual points to make.
Yes, IAPTBAP is a pretty mediocre piece of fiction that deserved to be criticised, i know, we all know. Was there any reason to keep criticising it for this long after Noor has already gone though?
i understand the initial wave of criticism that came after she left, however with how long this has dragged on, was it really worth it? Wasting our time being outraged at a person who doesn't care for any of this.
For all we know, she could be happily skipping along in her life, graduation certificate in hand. Meanwhile we were still seething at her shadow that has already long since faded.
i think it's fair to say that people think that Meloche's posts against Noor were made due to the fact that she's friends with Star, the person that Noor groomed. However, i think that it's also fair to say that she's doing this due to a personal grudge against Noor, that she's been holding onto for quite some time now.
Some important context: Melocherie's fanfic "Heroine's Guide To Witch Hunting." was asked to be modified by Noor when Meloche was 17 (or 16? She contradicts herself with her age, despite feeling strongly about it), to which she decided to delete the story out of her own volition. This wouldn't be the last time she would delete it, as it has happened 3 times by now. One would wonder how she's ever going to reach the second tale of the story, considering all 3 deletions took place before the first one even finished.
As for how it relates to the current point, Meloche has made the most posts against Noor, as everyone can see in the tags, even more than Star themselves. As time went on though, making posts about Noor just wasn't enough for her anymore, as she just started to criticize other people who still liked Noor's stories, and authors on Quotev who were inspired by IAPTBAP. These people don't even support Noor, they just liked some of the stories that she wrote.
It's not like this is a JK Rowling type of situation either, Noor wasn't going to profit from someone continuing to read IAPTBAP or someone writing a story that was inspired by it, so treating people who still had attachments to the story as part of the problem is beyond counterproductive.
The most recent example would be the fact that she made a post where she mentioned her "extreme anxiety" in the tags and how she's bad at confrontation. Contrarily, she wrote an entire call-out post right afterwards. That's not everything though, as she kept badgering the subject of the callout in her Quotev activity, AFTER the author had already blocked her. For someone who claims to hate confrontation, she sure loves to seek it.
And again, keep in mind the fact that ever since the original Noor callout was posted, Meloche has been THE most vocal person in the lavenoor/iaptbap tag.
Another instance of hypocrisy actually bleeds into the next point, because a lot of her unsavoury side was more prominent in the server rather than on her tumblr blog, but let me write the thesis statement here: I honestly don't think Meloche cares that much about other victims of abuse, she only ever cared about Star's status as one, while being dismissive/surface level "caring" about anyone else.
To continue from my last point, although Meloche often speaks out about victims of abuse, she interestingly enough, never really tried interacting with the OTHER person on the server, who was almost groomed by Noor. Not to mention the fact that she also used Star's status as a victim of childhood abuse to undermine someone, who turned out to ALSO be a victim of childhood abuse.
This doesn't even mention the other people who suffered fromabuse that are on the server, who aren't vocal about their experiences. Someone shouldn't have to bring up their own abuse to defend themselves against a person that uses ANOTHER PERSONS abuse as a way to instigate a fight with them.
And as already stated, the most glaring thing in that situation was the fact that it wasn't even Star who brought up being a victim of abuse, it was Meloche. Star could've brought it up themselves if they wanted to, so why did Meloche feel the need to mention it instead?
Maybe it's because Meloche wanted an excuse to vent out her anger and used Star as an excuse to do it in a "righteous" way. This isn't even limited to this situation, since that's what she's been doing the whole time since Noor left.
Here, I've compiled some of the instances of Meloche bringing Noor up, months after the she already left and up until Meloche herself left the server, alongside Star, on October 11th. Keep in mind, these aren't even ALL of the moments when she would rant about how bad Noor was, but if I had to compile all of those messages, you probably wouldn't be able to read it due to how many I'd have to cram into one canvas
And here is one of the moments that showcase Meloche's more unsavoury side, specifically during the time when she and Star tried getting Millie/Bloomstruck to publically denounce Noor. Something to note: Millie at that point was
recovering from CANCER and the multiple surgeries caused by said illness
dealing with the loss of a close family member
So yeah, Meloche's not nearly as "caring" as she's made herself out to be, to say the least.
Now this is the main point of this entire essay, because I don't think anyone outside of the server knows what exactly caused Meloche to leave, and her post (that she's taken down since, not like it matters since i've already showed it earlier.) about it was rather vague.
So let me break it down for everyone:
Meloche left because people pointed out how odd her behaviour over Star was.
How was her behaviour 'odd' you might ask?
Because it seemed like Meloche was acting like a white knight while constantly risking to retraumatize Star. This wouldn't be the first time, that Meloche is getting accused of being Star's white knight, which she vehemently defends in the screenshot below, but man, it's kinda tragic that the signs where all there, but we still tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.
They're such flimsy excuses in hindsight too. Be fucking honest, this isn't about "defending a victim of abuse", you're the one constantly talking instead of Star. Have you ever considered how many conflicts could've been avoided if it was Star who spoke up in the first place instead of that one random friend of theirs? You've seen it yourself have you not? Getting blocked by the author you made a callout against, but would you look at that, someone who spoke kindly and concisely linked Stars post about it in the comments of the author and they removed it in a short amount of time.
But no, you insisted on making yourself Stars mouthpiece, look, you even left the server together. i really can't understand how someone would just be okay with that, it's one thing to let your friends talk for you in minor situations like ordering food or whatnot, but this is about someone's experience of GETTING ABUSED. And let's be real here, between
1) A person who decided to take their own story down because they felt intimidated by a vaguely popular woman
2) A person who who was GROOMED since they were TWELVE
i think it's pretty easy to see who's had it worse, and who has more weight in this conversation. "oh but we share the same opinions/oh but Star gave their blessing before every post/oh but we've been friends for more than a year" okay, then why couldn't Star have just posted all of that themselves? "Oh, but Stars mental health!!" i mean, if you got Stars blessing before every post about the Noor situation, you're still indirectly exposing them to it, no? And also, most of the people who spoke up against Star were... gonna be real with everyone, almost cartoonishly "evil" in their arguments. We could've just laughed them off the platform honestly. Not to mention that those people were in the extreme minority compared to the Noor hatetrain that started after the callout.
Though I'm starting to think, maybe Meloche just likes playing the "unsung hero who defended their poor friend who couldn't help themselves" and maybe.... Star just enjoyed being centre stage as the victim in all of this.
Let me start off with what they allegedly have a diagnosis for: Autism, ADHD, Anxiety.
Keep this in mind, because the disorder which they mentioned the most, was not even one of their official ones. Here is a compilation of Star claiming to have NPD
Now you might have noticed the fact that the person in these screenshots so far doesn't have any of Star's known aliases in the doc, nor is it from an actual account but a bot?
Get this: Star claims that they have DID.
Why do I say "claim"? because it's clear as day that they're just faking it.
Of course they have an alter who's mean to others, because they can't bring themselves to take responsibility for being an asshole, can they? "No, it wasn't me, it was my alter!" Jekyll and Hyde type of bullcrap, oh come *on.*
Of course they can date several of their other... Fifteen alters in "headspace", which isn't a clinically recognised term, just so everyone knows.
Honestly, it just sounds like a case of intense maladaptive daydreaming and mistaking the symptoms of their already established mental disorders with DID, but instead of recognising that, Xia wants to force others to believe in their delusions too. It's just roleplaying with a side of Jared Leto level method acting, honestly.
The most telling part of it is that they use a bot made by an ABLEIST. Pluralkit's creator believes in endo systems, that means DID without trauma. Here's a fun tidbit: DID cannot develop without trauma, as that is the root cause of it. It is also a NIGHTMARE to moderate, I'm sure I missed a lot of Xia's messages that I could've screenshot, simply because the proxies are set up in a way where discord doesn't really know how to distinguish between them and ends up leaving out a lot of the messages that should be showing up if you look for messages from one proxy.
But i'm not done yet. Did you guys know that several of the accounts under the lavenoor tag were actually Star's "alters?"
Those arent's all of her blogs though, take a look at these
And if you wanna see another reason why I'm doing all this, have a small compilation of Xia pityfishing and derailing conversations in the server to make it all about them.
Maybe that's why Meloche and Xia were made for each other, one likes the attention and the other likes being needed. i can't understand it at all, you're so codependent on each other, but from what I can see, if Meloche left Xia, she would be just fine on her own or with the girlfriend that she mentioned like one time, but for Xia, there won't be anyone to filter their online experience for them. One would be definitely be worse off if the other left, were they to part ways one day.
5. The Way History Repeated Itself
Now that i've laid out all of their behaviour, i need you to walk with me for a bit:
Doesn't Meloche's behaviour remind you of a certain someone?
Even though they try and pretend to be humble to hide their nastier attitudes,
to preach ceaselessly to others about what's good and what's bad while they themselves are hypocrites,
to claim that they care about the well-being of abuse victims when they either couldn't be bothered or only half-assedly care about a single one,
the underlying meaning of "my morals are better than yours, therefore i am better than you." still shines through.
And let's not forget, the same weirdly controlling behaviour they have towards Xia. It's kinda tragic that they finally escaped their abuser, only to fall into another unhealthy relationship with someone again afterwards.
In the end, i guess we never really moved on from Noor after all, because most of us still managed to put faith in what was essentially her second, more "woke", coming. How much would you bet that if Meloche was born just a few years earlier, the differences between her and Noor would've been almost indistinguishable?
In the same vein, it's rather funny in hindsight, how much Meloche bashed Noor. Guess it's pretty easy go punch down on someone for making the mistakes that you could've made, but managed to avoid thanks to their unintentional sacrifice.
Meloche seems to still be hung up about being told to change her story by Noor, to the point that she acts angrier than Xia themselves about the whole situation.
She's basically a lesser version of Noor, and actively micromanaging Xia. It's kind of a parallel between Xia and Noor's past relationship with each other.
She also enables Star's mental illnesses, which include self-diagnosed NPD and DID.
Both of them don't seem to have cared about any of the other server members, who also suffered abuse but weren't as vocal about it as Xia.
That would be all from my side.
Happy anniversary.
