I want to go out more. and I want to take pictures of myself. I want to be with my friends. and I want to hold hands. and spin around barefoot. on fresh grass. and we are laughing so much I need you to show me I’m real. you try to take your hands away from mine. I need you to tell me I’m real. and I’m clutching. and I’m shaking. and I’m begging. and you’re not laughing anymore. why aren’t we laughing anymore? but I never was. everything is blurry and my cheeks are wet. I am praying that I exist.















