Spent all of class coming up with this instead of taking notes. Enjoy
Edit: part 2 in the notes
(Transcribed under the cut)
gravity falls human bill AU where bill comes back as a human except instead of dropping in at the mystery shack, he appears outside of mabel and dipper’s house in piedmont
dipper and mabel have So Much explaining to do
their parents want to call the cops but mabel and dipper are like NO. DONT.
we canNOT let anyone know he’s here and alive. actually we might have to kill him.
parents, hearing their thirteen year olds casually discuss murder: WHAT
theyre like “we have to call the grunkles” and the parents are ?? plural? grunkleS?
then they have to back up nd explain ford
and all of that
this whole time bill is tied to a kitchen chair all gagged and blindfolded and yelling in annoyance
mabel and dipper are ignoring him and the parents are Very Much Not Ignoring Him
they call the grunkles and explain the situation and the parents hear a twin WHAT followed by a lot of yelling and swearing and crashing and then stan says “okay we’ll be there by tomorrow love you kids STAY SAFE BYE”
dipper: wait. if they’re getting here tomorrow then… what do we do with Bill in the meantime?
mabel, behind him holding a frying pan: i have an idea
parents: NO
they ungag him and it’s like. dipper and mabel armed with grappling hook + baseball bat plus their parents standing behind them trying to figure out if a) their kids are having a mental break and b) if they just kidnapped some random dude
these concerns are quickly allayed when bill starts threatening to kill everyone really loudly and graphically
then suddenly dipper is like. wait. if you could kill us by ripping our skin off our bones limb by limb…. why haven’t you don’t that already
Edit: feel free to write fic, draw art, make memes, whatever, based on this! Here is blanket permission to go wild, just tag me so I can see it!
Transcript:
They have an emergency family meeting in the living room that’s basically mabel and dipper going “WE HAVE THIS TOTALLY UNDER CONTROL” and their parents going “WHAT IS HAPPENING”
dipper and mabel sit their parents down like. okay so. we weren’t planning on explaining this to you at all ever but that was before the demon we killed this summer came back
parents: the WHAT you DID WHAT TO WHEN
dipper and mabel: triangle demon we killed this summer but he’s human now
everyone looks at bill collapsed unconscious in the chair in the kitchen
dipper, very nervously: he was definitely dead. grunkle ford said so when he shot grunkle stan
Dad pines: WHO is grunkle ford and WHY was he shooting uncle stan
dipper and mabel: *look at each other*
they call the Stans again
ford picks up the phone first and before anyone can get a word out he’s like IF BILL ESCAPED JUST KILL HIM TO DEATH AND WE CAN DEAL WITH THE BODY LATER. ITS MORE IMPORTANT THAT YOU’RE SAFE THAN WE UNDERSTAND HOW HE CAME BACK
mabel: awww grunkle ford you’ve grown as a person!!
mom pines: WHO ARE YOU
dipper: we’re fine!! mabel got him with a frying pan
grunkle stan: awww kiddo i am so proud of you
dad pines: UNCLE STAN WHO IS THE OTHER PERSON WITH YOU
then they have to take a step back and the twins realize the Stans assumed they would tell their parents everything that happened that summer
they. did not. their parents, as has been established, have No Fucking Clue what’s going on
so they give the sparknotes “grunkle stan is actually grunkle stanley, who is not dead, but he stole grunkle ford, who is actually grunkle stanford,’s identity for uhh complicated reasons involving an interdimensional portal”
dad pines has his head in his hands. mom pines is still staring at the unconscious dude in her kitchen.
This idea has no plot it’s literally just “what if Mom and Dad Pines learned what Dipper and Mabel got up to this summer in the worst possible way (the kids trying to kill the random guy who showed up outside their house while yelling about triangle demons and Hell and other dimensions)
@bunbunshark ooo I haven't really thought of a name for this AU yet! honestly, Bill isn't the main focus of this AU (sorry bill), it's more about the Mystery Twins and the Stan Twins having to explain, in as little detail as possible (so nobody gets, yk, arrested, or grounded For Forever), all the absolute bullshit they went through that summer. Except every time they explain one thing, they have to explain another thing, and everything they say just makes everything else sound SO much worse. Also Bill is there and threatening to kill everybody while tied to a chair. So I would call it something like the "Explain Yourselves AU"? You know what, that works. This is the Explain Yourselves AU, everybody.
cTommy has a cow plushie (yes, it’s name is Henry) that Techno gave him that he always carried around since he was little and likes to pet it because he likes the feel of it’s fur and it helps calm him down even now. Sometimes you can still spot him walking around with the plushie in his hand or sleeping with it. No one says anything about it to his face.
Techno accidentally tore it once and Tommy threw a fit and cursed him out so much it almost brought Techno to the verge of tears and he sewed it back to make him stop.
Techno also held onto Henry after Doomsday and tore it up out of spite, but carefully fixed it again to place on Tommy’s grave as reconciliation. Post-revival, Tommy gave Henry back to Techno to keep as a sign of forgiveness the two.
Hello my friends, I am Ayman from Gaza. I have 6 children and my young child has an eye injury and needs an urgent operation. I hope to get your help to save my child in obtaining treatment. We have been displaced 7 times, and now we live in a tent and life is very difficult. I hope everyone will help me. In treating my son and saving my children, we deserve to live a decent and safe life. Please do not stop posting about us and helping us.
Mohammed struggled with his eye sight before the war and since the war has started, he has been struggling even more, he needs surgery. The photo on the left shows Mohammed before the war started and then after. His vision got worse.
Hello my friend, please I need your help in donating or sharing my link. My son was injured in Gaza
Hello,
My name is Heyam Sharif and I am writing to inform you abou… Heyam Sharif needs your support for Please Help Mohammed Save
Ayman’s gfm fundraiser is the one linked in the vetted spreadsheet, his old account seems to have been deleted by tumblr so this is his new blog. Please don’t hesitate to donate and share
Mohammed is only 6 years old and requires vision to stabilize his deteriorated vision. Please help to evacuate him alongside his parents, 4 sisters, and 1 brother.
i see y’all with your “steven goes to work at the mystery shack” headcanons and i’ve just gotta say… he would absolutely be the sketchiest person in gravity falls
the 2nd gravity falls summer (bc you know there would be more than one) the mystery is ‘what the fuck is wrong with this traumatized pink teenager’ instead of ‘who is the author of the journals’
steven: oh yeah I hate it when your friends try to kill you, but you just gotta wait it out and be patient with them and they’ll come around to you eventually
dipper: what. the fuck.
the kids repainting the sign when mabel drops her paintbrush to the ground by accident, cue steven being like ‘np i’ll get it’ and walking straight off the edge of the roof
mabel: i hate that picture of me, 4th grade’s the worst
steven: haha yeah…grades…those exist… i definitely didn’t look exactly the same from ages 8 to 14 for complicated shapeshifting reasons
“our grunkle stan is kind of a sketchy guy” “oh no way most of my family are war criminals”
steven: *breaks a cup* aw shit *licks it and it seals back together*
dipper: *furiously taking notes*
theres no possible way that steven “haven’t you noticed I’m a star” universe doesn’t come over to mabel’s slumber parties w/ candy and grenda and casually mention his girlfriend who a. is literally a knight in shining armor, b. has taken down multiple genocidal dictators thousands of times her size, not to mention c. mastering the art of swordfighting when she was twelve and d. saving his life and the lives of all the beach city residents on a regular basis
dipper: *trying to reach something on a high shelf*
steven: oh here you go *shapeshifts his arm to grab it and bring it down*
dipper: ??????thanks??
playing w/ waddles and nonchalantly saying something about missing his own large, pink pet, a magical lion that can teleport and that he has ridden into battle multiple times
(at suzy’s diner) steven: don’t worry, i’ll get the bill
it’s honestly the funniest fucking thing to imagine steven outright not even PRETENDING to hide any of the unusual parts of himself, but dipper still acting as if it’s all some giant conspiracy he’s going to crack by the end of summer.
mabel: “dipper, stop being such a dummy-dumb, he literally TOLD us that he’s half gem on his mother’s side!”
dipper, chewing furiously on his pen: “yeah, but what does that MEAN???”
ellievsbear
izzy806
janainaart
blakekathryn
