Crime-Is-Fun

Thief. Ask me questions, and remember the most important rule: Crime is fun!

[crimeisfun]

Rules!

Do:

Send asks! About the crew, our jobs, marks, processes, etc. Or you could ask my favorite cereal! It's all good.

This is Parker Leverage, if you have inquiries about the civilian running the blog, they can be reached at @95wonder.

Have fun and do crimes!

Be patient if you see posts that don't belong. I sometimes hit reblog and forget to check where I'm reblogging to. I'll get better at that over time.

Don't:

Take it too seriously. There will be flanderization. There will be inconsistency. It’s for fun.

Ask me for advice on how to commit real life crimes. First rule of crime is have fun, but the second rule of crime is have good opsec.

(The format and a bullet point *is* stolen. I'm sure Nate (@functioning-god-complex) will understand)

[watchmebecomeher]

My lawyer (@lawhound57) has advised me to make a statement.

[lawhound57]

For the record, the rest of the team was not in Paris, either.

[mr-punchy]

don't we.... we have a leverage international team in Paris.

@cgi-yoda-hater hey. have you heard from the voleur team lately?

[cgi-yoda-hater]

I can neither confirm nor deny the presence of the voleur team at the Louvre yesterday.

However, I can say that I know @crimeisfun would have trained them better than to drop a piece during the getaway.

[fuckyeahspiritsruse]

if I dropped a piece like that she'd have me hang upside down until I got better

speaking of which, has anyone heard from Tara recently? @thebestlieisthetruth

of course I'm sure she was not in Paris either

[crimeisfun]

Hardison is right. None of our teams would be that sloppy. Or if they did somehow get in over their head like that, they'd reach out and I haven't heard anything.

[nessa007]

who says romance is dead

[cgi-yoda-hater]

@crimeisfun

[crimeisfun]

first, 300th. any date is good, really. Got anywhere in mind?

[armthearmour]

A remarkable Dagger with a copper blade and Soapstone hilt carved in the form of a serpent,

OaL: 11.8 in/30 cm

Iran, ca. 2600-2400 BC, housed at the Musée du Louvre.

[lapsangsouchong52]

Fairly sure Parker would love to steal this for Eliot (if she hasn't already, and replaced it with a copy 😉). Care to comment, @crimeisfun?

[crimeisfun]

@mr-punchy, any interest?

[mr-punchy]

Hmm. i don't have one like that in my collection. it'd be cool to have. weights prob'ly not any good anymore, so it'd be just for show.

but unlike you and Soph I don't really steal just to steal.

...

If it ends up in your possession I won't ask where you got it from.

[crimeisfun]

Go ahead and check your collection.

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

[armthearmour]

A remarkable Dagger with a copper blade and Soapstone hilt carved in the form of a serpent,

OaL: 11.8 in/30 cm

Iran, ca. 2600-2400 BC, housed at the Musée du Louvre.

[lapsangsouchong52]

Fairly sure Parker would love to steal this for Eliot (if she hasn't already, and replaced it with a copy 😉). Care to comment, @crimeisfun?

[crimeisfun]

@mr-punchy, any interest?

[lawhound57]

so what DID happen at mardi gras?

- @fuckyeahspiritsruse (Breanna)

Well, I don't know if you can relate to this at all, but before Leverage came along, I didn't exactly have very many chances to exercise the more frivolous side of my personality. There's a lot of pressure involved in corporate law. Up and coming evil lawyers sometimes adopt a sort of "work hard, play hard," strategy to deal with it. Not me so much, but some of the people that I knew. And if you're going to party hard in NOLA, Mardi Gras is the time to do it. I used to go down to the big parade every year with a pack of other law students, dress up, have a bit too much to drink, compete to see who could fit the largest collection of beads around our necks, be loud and young and silly and generally let off some steam.

Anyway, one year I brought an open bottle of tequila to the parade by smuggling it down in a...sensitive position in my shorts...and I woke up the next day with nothing but said shorts and the hazy memory of kissing several handsome young men in masquerade masks and glitter.

[fuckyeahspiritsruse]

aw, baby evil lawyer's bi awakening!

...I bet I could find embarrassing pictures

[lawhound57]

Haha, I don't see how you could possibly do that, I mean, it was a long time ago! Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost faith in your abilities, but...and you already have them pulled up.

Wow, I was young back then. And those shorts are a little bit shorter than what I remembered!

Do you see the person standing next to me, in the one where I'm getting my whole head dunked in the fountain? He was one of my classmates. He works for Baron Oil now...

[fuckyeahspiritsruse]

Wow. Do all evil lawyers wear short shorts? Is it like a rite of passage?

[lawhound57]

In my defense, my classmate talked me into it. You know, I think in retrospect I was a little bit smitten with him, too. He was the one who suggested that we all wear matching gold shorts, bought them for the whole group, so of course I was going to wear them. It didn't go anywhere, though, because shortly after that picture was taken, he tried to feed a whole pineapple to the horse of one of the NOPD mounted units and got belligerent and disorderly with an officer.

Actually, it's a funny story. I ran into him again a few years ago, after I was already married to Grace. Remember how I said he works for Baron Oil? Well, I was brought in on a case involving a dagger and insurance fraud. The client claimed that he had been set up, but the prosecution had an air-tight case against him and an expert witness willing to verify that the dagger was a fake...anyway, we reconnected, and he said that it was such a hopeless case, that if we won it, he'd divorce his second wife and marry me. But we lost. So. That didn't happen, obviously.

[fuckyeahspiritsruse]

He did. He did what now??

@crimeisfun are you hearing this shit

Do we need to recruit your very gay ex-classmate so he too can have a chance at redemption and embracing his true self?

[crimeisfun]

Maybe this could be a chance for @lawhound57 to get a little experience on the other side of the recruitment drive. We already have an ex-evil lawyer. If this guy really wants redemption then Harry can get through to him on his own.

[just-call-me-zinnia]

"I teach every kid I meet how to do crime. Crime is fun."

I love you Parker.

[crimeisfun]

Yay!

[crimeisfun]

What’s your favorite safe?

- @fuckyeahspiritsruse (Breanna)

Hi Breanna! I think it's still that picture frame safe I got from the train-heist. That thing is a once in a lifetime encounter, a beauty in conception, design, implementation. I still practice on it sometimes. Just for fun.

[crimeisfun]

Bucket list heist/crime that you have yet to pull off?

Safecracking in space. @cgi-yoda-hater got to go do hacking in space. I should get to do safecracking in space.

[crimeisfun]

Is there any "normal childhood" stuff you wish you did experience? Just trying to figure out if we should find a way to send you to horse camp or something. Wait, no, bad example, sorry. I just meant -- I just meant anything you'd like to do that you, you know, might have missed out on. - @functioning-god-complex

Almost all the normal people stuff is either boring or it sucks.

And I don't really know too much about it either. Horse camp sounds *shudder* really really bad.

[crimeisfun]

What's the name of your stuffed bunny? The one you blew up that house for?

Bunny, of course. I still keep Bunny in one of my safehouses.

[crimeisfun]

So, we already got you a jump from the second-tallest building in the world. What do you say we take a field trip to the first tallest? - @functioning-god-complex

YESSSS!!!!!!

What's worth stealing there anyways?

@functioning-god-complex

[crimeisfun]

Hey, Parker! Is there particular reason why my toothbrush ended up at Leverage HQ? - Harry (@lawhound57)

Yes. A very obvious reason if you think about it.

[crimeisfun]

29: favorite pasta noodle?

Spaghetti

[crimeisfun]

Did you know that today (24th August) is national knife day?

I do now!

🗡️🗡️🗡️

[crimeisfun]

what is the most fun crime?

Grand larceny!