nobody’s doing it like neil josten because yeah he’s a weird guy but his love interest isn’t a manic pixie dream girl. no, his love interest is instead a depressive monster nightmare boy. and they’re also both jocks somehow

if i look back, i am lost

tannertan36
d e v o n
$LAYYYTER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
we're not kids anymore.
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almost home
taylor price

pixel skylines
Cosmic Funnies

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Love Begins
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Noah Kahan

#extradirty
ojovivo

izzy's playlists!

JVL
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@crimiineli
nobody’s doing it like neil josten because yeah he’s a weird guy but his love interest isn’t a manic pixie dream girl. no, his love interest is instead a depressive monster nightmare boy. and they’re also both jocks somehow
Galadriel: "And exploit it?"
"No.
Give them a means of mastering it. So that you can master them."
prev | next
Bonus "no":
Sometimes I remember that "I'm so fucking normal right now" is a line from disco elysium. like that's such a sentence from a tumblr post to me but no. harry du bois said that. out loud. he would do numbers on here
harry dubois does do numbers on here. i see him on my dash like several times a day
You know what?
My ancestors would have wanted pasteurization, vaccines, antibiotics, disinfectants, birth control, psychiatric medications, pain management, anesthesia. My ancestors would have wanted to be able to keep their loved ones around longer, and not lose them too early/too soon to childbirths, injuries, bacterial infections, mental illnesses, and diseases that are curable and/or preventable in our modern day life.
Modern medicine saves lives.
do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare
if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.
where the wind goes
has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
Went to an Oedipus Rex adaption today and my friends were debating whether the Oedipus/Jocasta age gap was problematic. Like guys…I think their relationship has bigger issues
vivlos be upon ye
[THALETAS ROMANCE GUIDE]
Hello and welcome to this little guide for the Thaletas romance from Assassin’s Creed Odyssey !
After many request about it, i’m finally doing the Thaletas romance guide ! First of all, i want to say something about this guide. The way i’m telling you to romance Thaletas is the better way i found by redoing seven or height times Delos and Mykonos’s quest. I wrote everything ALL BY MYSELF (*all by myself song in the background*) and without the help of the official guide i bought two days ago because they don’t say anything inside about what i found myself and without help. I used a lot of my time to write everything below, searching and trying every option in the game, etc… There is some details you probably never heard of and it can change the way your romance is showed : Ubisoft paid a real care about everything (or at least, they tried their best). Also, i’m sorry if my english isn’t perfect since it’s not my native language ! //!! Please, if you want to use this guide elsewhere, ASK ME BEFORE ! And if any of you guys find my guide on another website without my credits, send me a message/an ask. Thank you !!//
Here’s a list about things to know before starting the romance.
Sadly, you can’t recruit Thaletas on the Adrestia (your ship).
There is no real “happy ending”.
If you want the “best ending”, Kyra must kill herself.
Make several saves. After the quest “A night to remember”, you won’t be able to see Thaletas ever again.
DON’T DO THE “CALL TO ARMS” QUEST BEFORE “HEARTS OF WAR” : It delete the romance quest with Thaletas (even the quest “The Thaletas Way” and “Paint The Sand Red”) since these quests are here to prepare the “Call To Arms” quest !
Even little choices and details change everything.
If you have any trouble, don’t hesitate and ask me here.
GOOD TO KNOW: there is FOUR endings and only TWO of them are “good”. ONLY ONE has the best ending of all.
BAD ENDING 1: Kyra lives. When Thaletas starts to talk about your meeting on the beach earlier, you choose the first answer and she’ll say you and Thaletas “had your time of fun”. Thaletas stays with Kyra on Mykonos (and break up with you by doing that).
BAD ENDING 2: Kyra lives. When Thaletas starts to talk about your meeting on the beach earlier, you choose the last answer and she’ll say you and Thaletas “had your time of fun”. Thaletas stays with Kyra on Mykonos (and break up with you by doing that).
SAD BUT GOOD ENDING: Kyra kill herself. You go back to Thaletas and when he ask you where’s Kyra, tell him the truth : she took her life. He’ll scream [his reaction will change depending on what you choose to do during “M for Murder” [choosing to say to everyone about Kyra’s father or choosing to say privately to Kyra that Podarkes is her father]]. Then he’ll reject you, saying he wants to drink alone.
BEST ENDING: Kyra kill herself. You go back to Thaletas and when he ask you where’s Kyra, lie to him : Alexios will tell to Thaletas that Kyra will come later and will lie : he will say “She said to celebrate without her”. Thaletas will answer “Celebrate without her ? Hah ! Impossible !” and then… He’ll add “But let’s try !” and you’ll share a drink “to victor
Now that you know everything, you only have to follow the guide ! Knowing the different endings, i’ll guide you during all the quests who will change the end of your romance.
Are we ready now ? Yes ?! Let’s begin then !
You’ll receive the quest “Trouble In Paradise” after “Perikles’s Symposium”. Even if you’re lvl 18/20, you can do the quest (i did it when i was lvl 18) but it requires a lot of skills tbh (or if you play in easy mod, a lot of focus and patience). If you want to do the Thaletas romance without pain and try hard, i suggest you to begin when you’re lvl 25.
When you’ll arrive at Mykonos, you’ll have a little chat with Barnabas. Feel free to speak to him as you like since your choices aren’t important for the romance yet. Then, you’ll be able to choose who visit first between Kyra and Thaletas. THIS CHOICE CHANGE A LOT THE VIEW OF THE STORYTELLING.
Let me explain the difference :
SEEING THALETAS FIRST: If you’re going to see Thaletas first, he’s going to be jealous/possessive of you because you’re speaking about Kyra. It’s obviously a perfect scenario if you want to romance Kyra, but in this context, we want Thaletas… So, nope ! You’re going to wait before seeying the babe !
SEEING KYRA FIRST: If you’re going to see Kyra first, you’ll follow her to Thaletas’s camp and help them both with the Athenian attack. After that, you’ll have a little chat with both and there’s some kind of connection between you and Thaletas : your Aexios (or Kassandra) and him are going to stare at each other significantly and then… Kyra is going to be jealous/possessive ! For a scenario where you’re going to romance Thaletas, it makes much muuuch more sense than the other way of introduction (where Thaletas is jealous). Plus, the romance is more natural and doesn’t feel forced at all that way (love at first sight is so romantic !), in contrary of seeing Thaletas first.
So, after helping both of them, you’ll be able to chat.
I WAS SPARTAN: Since i think it is better to tell the truth on this one, choose that option. Thaletas is Spartan and obviously he’s patriotic, so, you’ll got points for that answer.
(lie) I’M NOT SPARTAN: I didn’t tried this option because it’s obviously the thing you don’t want to say. He’s Spartan, you’re Spartan, everyone is happy, yay.
Then, you’ll have a second choice to make.
EVERYONE DIES: Obviously, it’s not very nice from you to say to Thaletas “come on dude don’t cry you’re a pussy”, so don’t use this answer.
WAR AFFECTS US ALL: Thaletas has heart and he’s very sensitive behind his Spartan shield even if he don’t like to show it, so this is the best answer. When you choose this one, he’ll smile of agreement and he’ll turn around to stare you - your Alexios is going to stares at him too and then Kyra will do her little crisis of possessiveness - you’re on the right path if it happen : even herself can see the connection between Alexios and Thaletas ! The romance is more natural and doesn’t feel forced at all that way, as i said earlier.
Next, Thaletas will ask you if you want to join them now or later - your choice isn’t important at all. But in order to save time, you can follow them to the hideout right away. Fine, you’re in the hideout now ! You’ll have to make a strategic choice : this one is really important for the romance.
KYRA IS RIGHT: Choosing Kyra’s strategy will destroy your chances about the romantic relationship with Thaletas.
THALETAS IS RIGHT: Choosing Thaletas’s strategy is the right thing to do if you want to romance him. Plus, don’t worry, if you want to do Kyra’s quests, you’ll be able to do so : but later, and without destroying all the chances about the romantic relationship with our favorite Spartan bae.
Now, Thaletas is waiting for us. Let’s join his camp BUT DON’T SPEAK TO HIM YET. Why ? We have something more important to do… In order to make him a very special surprise !
For now, we’re going to find Thaletas’ tent. When it’s done, loot his letter on the table, inside the tent.
The letter says Thaletas loose the helmet of his grandfather. You know what to do now ! But maybe you’re asking why i’m telling you to find it before speaking to Thaletas, right ? Let me explain.
IF YOU LOOT THALETAS’ HELMET BEFORE SPEAKING TO HIM: Speaking with him when you have already found his helmet gives you another reaction than usual from him. You can choose to give it to him at the moment or lying to him by saying you’ll check out when you’ll can. Giving it now makes him look very surprised and very happy : his face and even his voiced line is different (ho and it’s funny because there’s a little bug btw : Thaletas keep his helmet in his hand until the end of the discussion. Kinda cute haha) ! It is, in my opinion, the best way to do his romance (since even ubisoft voice lined differently his reaction).
IF YOU LOOT THALETAS’ HELMET AFTER SPEAKING TO HIM: He seems less surprised and happy. It loose the “surprise surprise” side (and that’s so important to makes him more happy and surprise ! Just his reaction is “cuteness overload” !).
To find Thaletas’s helmet, you have to find the Ajax’s shipwreck. It’s on the north of Mykonos, above the fortress.
When you’ll find it, go back to the Spartan camp and speak to Thaletas (finally) !
♥ WHAT ORDERS WOULD YOU GIVE ME ? : Choosing this answer is the right thing to do and will lead you to another choice.
LET’S PLAN OUR NEXT MOVE: Don’t choose that of course !
Choosing the romance line, you’ll be able to pick between three answers:
I NEVER HOLD BACK: It’s a valid answer, but it’s not the best one to pick. Thaletas’ reaction is “i’m tempted, but…” and it’s saying he’s thinking only of sex.
SO YOU LIKE THINGS ROUGH: This is the best answer. When you pick this one, Thaletas says his heart is “beating faster”. It’s more romantic and not only about sex when you compare to the answer above (in my opinion).
HARD SHELL, SOFT CENTER: Don’t choose that. It ruins everything. I tried and he was not seduced at all. Thaletas, we need a fucking guide to romance you because of your complexity, ya know that love ? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Then, our hard work to find Thaletas’s helmet will finally pay off ! He tells you his strategy and then ask you to find his granfather’s helmet. Two choices face you now:
I ALREADY HAVE YOUR HELMET: The best answer and the best way to give him his helmet. Why ? When you don’t find the helmet first, your Alexios says to Thaletas “I can’t promise you to find it” = you reject him. Here, when you find the helmet first, you can give it to him without saying “i can’t promise you to find it” : you already have it ! So he’s very, very happy and you don’t reject him in the same process : perfect !
(lie) WE’LL SEE: You want to pick this choice knowing the subject of this guide ? Are you evil ? >:(
Now you’ve flirted with Thaletas, it’s time to work again… Sadness !
When you destroy Athenian ships, be sure to do MORE THAN THALETAS ASKED FOR : To be sure you destroyed enough Athenian ships, be sure to see the line quest “the Athenian army has been weakened” ! If you didn’t destroyed enough ships yet, the line quest will show “destroy additional Athenian ships to help Spartan reinforcements” ! By weakening the Athenian army, you’ll got MORE ROMANCE POINTS WITH THALETAS !
Now, let’s talk to Thaletas again.
WE’RE NOT DONE YET: Formal and not cute at all. Don’t pick this one, Thaletas didn’t liked it when i tried this answer. :’(
YOU HAVE HEART: The choice’s tittle speak by himself. It’s this one you have to pick. You sneaky sneak compliments and have a little chit chat about Thaletas’ soldiers : he even approves you !
For this quest, you only have to follow Thaletas’s orders. Kill the three Athenian and then return to him.
♥ I’LL REMEMBER THAT: Obviously the answer you have to choose if you still want to romance him !
FORGET IT: DON’T CHOOSE IT >:(
After picking up the romance line, you’ll be able to choose three new one.
I WANT YOU TONIGHT: It’s valid, but still not the best answer to choose. Like another answer earlier, it’s based on the willing of sex only.
I WANT YOU FOREVER: This is the best answer. Following your will of romantic immersion and not the i-want-sex-with-everyone™ one, choose it ! He’ll smile and kiss you, then he’ll hesitate about what to say. Enjoy the end of the cinematic.
I WANT YOU AND KYRA: Well, since this guide is about Thaletas’ romance only… Again, don’t do that !
You have the love quest, finally ! It’s the best quest you have with Thaletas since it’s A FREAKIN’ DATE ! YAAAY ! (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧
Go find him on the beach. When you realize he’s not here, you’ll have to follow the flower trail to find him (he’s so romantic, why he’s so perfect ???). By doing that, speak to him and enjoy the cinematic. Then, it’s choosing time.
♥ THE FLOWERS ARE A NICE TOUCH: OF COURSE IT’S A NICE TOUCH, ALEXIOS, HE DID A FLOWER TRAIL JUST FOR Y O U ! Choose this.
THE FLOWERS ARE A BIT MUCH: Are you kidding ? Get out of my guide !
Then, he’ll speak to you about your day of meeting during the Athenian VS Spartan fight on the beach.
♥ I COULDN’T RESIST YOU: WHO THE HELL CAN RESIST TO THALETAS GOD DAMN IT ? *koff koff* Choose this answer.
I COULDN’T RESIT A GOOD FIGHT: AAAARGH, I SAID GET OUT (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
After these two choices, he’ll take you to his favorite place (look at that cutie).
IT’S BEAUTIFUL: Obviously, don’t choose that.
♥ YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL: Of course you are, love ! Pick this answer.
Finally, Thaletas will ask you to fight him (I WAS JOKING WHEN I WAS TALKING ABOUT THAT “BRUISED, BLOODY OR BROKEN” THING GASP). You don’t have to follow a specific way to win : reduce his health bar and then talk to him.
♥ I THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER ASK: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I’M NOT INTERESTED:, said no one.
Now you can enjoy the cinematic (as much as Thaletas enjoyed his time with Alexios ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) and then you’ll have a final choice to make.
I WANT TO FORGET MY TROUBLED PAST: Obviously the best answer you can pick right now.
I WANT TO FORGET YOU: Ubisoft, you’re pure evil. Don’t choose that OF COURSE.
This quest will end with a beautiful kiss and an amazing sunset joining Alexios and Thaletas during their romantic moment.
Now that we have a romantic relationship with Thaletas, it’s time to protect your babe. Find Sokrates and speak with him : then, you’ll have to free a prisoner. By doing so, you’ll have a little discussion with this one and you’ll discover he’s crazy. But don’t let him take you by pity : if you let him live, Thaletas WILL DIE. The prisoner will put poison into Thaletas’s cup during the quest named “A Night To Remember”. You don’t have choice : kill him directly. By doing that, you’ll save Thaletas from dying.
Even if this quest is about Kyra, the final choice you’ll make during this one will influence the end of the quest named “A Night To Remember”.
Let’s do everything you need to do and then, when you find Kyra’s wooden doll, go speak to her in the hideout.
I SHOULD TELL YOU IN PRIVATE: By doing so, Thaletas will never finds out about Kyra’s secret. When Kyra kills herself and if you decide to tell him where Kyra is, he will blame the islands and its people (which makes no sense i think).
EVERYONE SHOULD HEAR THIS: If you choose this option (which i did and is, for me, the best one), Thaletas will know about Kyra’s secret. When she kills herself and if you decide to tell him where Kyra is, Thaletas will blame his father (which is, in fact, the true reason of her suicide + her mother’s death, so it’s very canon and makes more sense), saying if he wasn’t dead, he would have killed him himself.
Beyond that, there’s no real changes about the ending you can unlock.
As you might have noticed, i didn’t mentioned the other quests since they don’t change anything in the possible endings and since the guide is chronologically sorted. As long as you follow my instructions above FIRST, you can do the other quests as you like (Kyra’s quests will be automatically deleted if you romance Thaletas/or if you kill Pordakes first).
The big day is here ! Put your favorite clothes and be ready to assist to the most dramatic night of your life !
Let’s talk to Barnabas. You’ll chat with him and have the possibilities to choose what you think about Podarkes’ funeral ceremony. Your choice doesn’t affect the ending, so do whatever you want to do about it. Then, go find Thaletas first (trough it doesn’t change anything to choose Thaletas or Kyra first but it makes more sense to pick Thaletas as a priority since you can’t directly tells him about Kyra’s suicide if you see her first). He’ll propose you to come with him to Sparta, opening his heart to you.
I WISH I COULD: This is the best answer you can actually have. You’re saying to Thaletas how much you want to leave with him but you can’t, not right now : you have your family and so much more things to do first (”his destiny to accomplish” to be true to Alexios’ words). Thaletas will confess you something you can’t hear with the choices below : “When i first came to these islands, i was expecting nothing but death… Then i found you. Who knows, maybe the fates will bring us back together one day ?”. So, yes, this is the best choice to make. Look at all the love Thaletas have for Alexios (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧
OR… YOU JOIN MY CREW: This answer is A TRAP. You can’t recruit Thaletas (nor Kyra) : and the worst of all is when you pick this answer, Alexios act like an asshole with Thaletas. Thaletas is hurt and leave, as cold as ice.
Never going to happen: Really, don’t pick that. I never felt so bad to pick a choice in my whole life in a game. Thaletas broke my heart with this horrible choice. He says he was excepting nothing but death when he came to these islands, and then… You came and broke his heart, he “never think he could felt so much pain”.
Wait until the end of the cinematic (and try not to cry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to be honest i was disgusted by the impossibility to have Thaletas by my side, i wanted both of my bois sailing trough the Ancient Greece, gayer than ever, happy an’ all (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ AT LEAST, A MEETING WHEN YOU GOES TO SPARTA, SHIT !), then go see Kyra.
She will talk to you about how bad she feels about her father (who was a perfect asshole). Then, here comes the time to choose what to say.
THIS PART OF THE GUIDE IS IMPORTANT : You’ll know which answer will leads Kyra to her suicide (or not) and so which answer will leads you to the good and best ending (even if it’s sad to see her die, but canonically, as Ubisoft said, “you can’t break a couple without consequences”).
HE’S DEAD, MOVE ON: By saying that, Kyra will yell at you “You killed my father !” (urgh i hate this character, even if she knew about him, she wanted him dead and now she blames you ? wtf). Picking that answer will lead you to the last choice where she can possibly kill herself. I did picked that answer.
I FELT THE SAME WAY ONCE: If you choose this answer, you’ll be nice to her and she will yell as much as above. Picking that answer will lead you to the last choice where she can possibly kill herself.
FIND A NEW PURPOSE: If you want to save Kyra, pick this one. She’ll return at the party safe and sound.
If you choose the answer where she lives, then you can skip the rest of the guide and return at the begining of it where all the endings are listed to see what to do next. If you started the path of Kyra’s suicide, then you’ll have one last choice to make.
FORGET THE GODS: Last chance to save Kyra ! If you want to save Kyra, pick this one. She’ll return at the party safe and sound.
THEN OFFER A SACRIFICE: It would be stupid to think by saying that Kyra will be okay. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ She will took her life if you pick this one.
YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL: I picked this one. By choosing that, Alexios will say the truth : she’s yelling at everyone and in particular the gods (AND Alexios after everything he did for her !) and don’t see how much people trusted her : even Alexios risked his like (he’s actually saying all of this, even the part where he risked his life for her) for her and she doesn’t care at all. If you choose this answer, Kyra will took her life.
After the tragedy of Kyra’s death, you can go back to the party in order to see Thaletas one last time. When you’ll speak with him, you’ll be able to make two last choices.
Thaletas will speak about the end of the war and his new military rank : (a.k.a his promotion) to general : he has been called back to Sparta. He’ll say you deserved it much more than him.
I DO DESERVE IT: Mmmmhwell, Alexios, how about shut the fuck up ? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Don’t choose that if you want to be nice to Thaletas. I don’t know what it does if you choose that but it’s obviously not the happiest option you have right now.
YOU DESERVE TO BE GENERAL: The right thing to answer. Thaletas will tell you “too true !”.
After that, Thaletas will say “Even if we can’t be together, i will sail to Sparta with you in my heart”, leading your Alexios to the saddest smile in the world (but the smile at the beach was as sad as this one i have to admit). Finally, he’ll ask you were’s Kyra (because he needs to speak to her before leaving).
CAUTION : Here’s the choice who makes the difference between the “good but sad ending” and the “best ending”.
(lie) KYRA WILL BE HERE… LATER: Okay, i know, it’s not cool to lie. Telling the truth is better, but this option will leads you to the happiest ending (and this is the one i choose everytime) : Alexios will tell to Thaletas that Kyra will come later and will lie : he will say “She said to celebrate without her”. Thaletas will answer “Celebrate without her ? Hah ! Impossible !” and then… He’ll add “But let’s try !” and you’ll share a drink “to victory”, sharing your last moment together in an happy and peaceful way.
KYRA’S DEAD: Telling the truth is always the best thing to do, and if you choose to do so, you’ll unlock the “good but sad” ending : Thaletas will scream [his reaction will change depending on what you choose to do during “M for Murder” [choosing to say to everyone about Kyra’s father or choosing to say privately to Kyra that Podarkes is her father]]. Then he’ll reject you, saying he wants to drink alone. Sad end for a sad night : Kyra’s dead, Thaletas won’t speak to you before leaving… It’s not that good after all, isn’t it ?
Finish your last conversation with Thaletas and you’ll be able to make a speech when you’ll go find Barnabas again. Whatever you’ll choose to say at this point, it doesn’t chance anything : you already had your ending. GOOD TO KNOW: If you let the anarchist prisoner live during the quest named “The Sokratic Method”, Thaletas will die right at this moment - during the toast in the honor of Alexios. You’ll have to run after the killer and then you can choose between killing him or setting him free.
And here we are at the end of this romance guide ! I hope you’ll find everything you needed here, and if you have any question, feel free ton contact me as i said it at the beginning of this post ! Again, sorry for my english, it’s not my native language. As you can see, the Thaletas’ romance is really sad. You can’t take him with you, you don’t have any romance option to leave with him or see him when you’ll go to Spartan (come on Ubisoft… just one little tiny quest ?) and it’s tragic to see Kyra’s suicide in order to have the “best” ending you can have. As you may know if you follow me since the beginning of my Thalexios content, i’m an arist and I WILL DRAW A COMIC about what i imagined for a continuation of this romance. In this comic, my Alexios saw Kyra’s suicide and lied to Thaletas. They’ll meet again in Sparta and, well… I let you imagine what could happen next ! So, don’t hesitate to follow me to have more Thalexios content (gif, screenshot, art and much more) ! OH, AND don’t forget to like and share/reblog this guide if i was helpful !
Thank you all, and have a good time playing Assassin’s Creed Odyssey !
“The Foxhole Court was the only home he needed”
Trying to get that early 2000’s vibe to these has made me start taking a colour grading course and I think I know less now than I did before I started it
Viewport render below
love that andrew minyard has been in multiple life-threatening scenarios and yet i thoroughly believe that the only time his life has ever flashed before his eyes was when neil said "why does roland think you're tying me up"
This part-
They ruined me forever
I still haven't finished the third book but I needed to draw that scene
Work’s finally chilled out a bit!
POV: Nicky is taking pictures of the team arriving for another match 🤭
Eren
I’m very happy to introduce you my new button badges collection ! 🎉 They will be available in my shop very soon !! It was so good to draw everyone safe, happy and reunited ! 🥰☀️
Once again in a mood to draw something soft and gentle. 😴