crimsonmdzs🌙

Hi, I'm Jasi! | she/her | 21 | This is for danmei. I write, draw, and have minidolls. 🔞 no minors please! ao3/twitter: crimsonmdzs https://crimsonmdzs.carrd.co/

[crimsonmdzs]

An Ode (Apology) To My Baobei

Pairing: Mo Ran/Chu Wanning

Rating: E

Chapters: 13/13

Word Count: 45.5k

Detective, I hope it is you who is reading this. If it is, I’m guessing you found out it was me again. What a smart boy. Chu Wanning internally gags at this comment but continues to read. For doing such a good job, I’ll give you a treat. I’ll give you a name you can call me. - Taxian-jun, I hope we can meet soon.

A modern AU where Chu Wanning is investigating a serial homicide. As he digs into this case, more things come to light, and his morals are questioned. What happens when he meets his new neighbor during this time? Is that sweet smile the truth, or does it hold many secrets? What does this neighbor have to do with the case?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/81817241

[i-will-write]

how i sleep knowing i write shitty fiction but at least don’t use chatgpt

[crimsonmdzs]

You Made Me Feel Human

Character designs for my hualian omegaverse fic

🔗 ⬇️

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[ellipsus-writes]

[crimsonmdzs]

i will protect my beautiful em-dash

[pantserspen]

How to Write a Character’s Breaking Point (+Sensory Details Cheat Sheet)

1. Strip Away Their Last Defense

A breakdown only lands if the character has nothing left to protect themselves with. Take away the coping mechanism they’ve relied on — their pride, their control, their relationships, their denial, or their hope.

The breakdown isn’t caused by pain. It’s caused by the loss of what kept them standing in that pain.

2. Make the Trigger Small but Devastating

The moment that breaks them should often be quiet, personal, and specific, not just the biggest explosion. A single line of dialogue, a realization, or a tiny betrayal can hurt more than the obvious disaster.

3. Let Them Resist the Fall

Don’t drop them instantly into collapse. Let them try to hold it together first. That resistance creates tension and makes the fall feel earned and painful.

4. Show the Internal Shatter Before the External One

Start with the internal fracture — the belief that dies, the truth they can’t ignore, the hope that finally gives out — then let the external breakdown follow.

5. Let the Breakdown Change Them

A real breaking point permanently alters the character. After this moment, they don’t return to who they were before — even if they heal.

✦ Sensory Cheat Sheet for Writing Breakdowns

Use 2–3 of these at most so the scene stays sharp and not overloaded.

Physical Sensations

Chest feels tight, hollow, or painfully heavy

Hands shaking, numb, or clenched too hard

Throat burning, closing, or unable to form words

Sudden weakness in knees or limbs

Feeling too hot or too cold all at once

Emotional Sensations

Sudden exhaustion rather than loud sadness

A sense of “what’s the point anymore?”

Feeling disconnected from their body or surroundings

A sharp wave of shame, guilt, or self-loathing

Emotional numbness replacing intensity

Mental Experience

Thoughts looping uncontrollably

A single devastating realization repeating in their mind

Trouble focusing on anything except the pain

Feeling like time has slowed or stopped

A sense of being very small, trapped, or exposed

Behavioral Tells

Going silent instead of crying

Laughing at the wrong moment

Snapping at someone who doesn’t deserve it

Making a reckless or self-destructive choice

Withdrawing completely from others

Environmental Mirroring (Optional but powerful)

A room that feels too quiet, too loud, or too small

Harsh lighting or deep shadows

Weather that contrasts their emotion (sunny during despair, storm during numbness)

A comforting object that now feels meaningless

✦ Final Tip

A breakdown isn’t about how dramatic the moment is — it’s about how personally devastating it is for that specific character. The more tailored the pain is to their fears, flaws, and desires, the harder it hits the reader.

DIVE INTO YOUR WORLDBUILDING! SHOP!

[underwhelmingalchemist]

Pros of writing: nobody else can write your story for you

Cons of writing: nobody else can write your story for you

[crimsonmdzs]

You Made Me Feel Human

My Hualian fic is more than halfway through. 7/12 chapters are done. It's about to get crazy :) This is my treat to you! Go check it out if you like dark themes.

[crimsonmdzs]

Happy New Year🎉

[drwcn]

How To Name Your Chinese Characters: 

1) LAST NAMES: 

I’ve pasted the Top 100 common last names in alphabetical order, and bolded the ones that appear in CQL:   

B: 白 Bai C: 蔡 Cai ; 曹 Cao ;  常 Chang ; 曾 Ceng ;  陈 Chen ;  程 Cheng ;  崔 Cui ; D: 戴 Dai ; 邓 Deng ; 丁 Ding ; 董 Dong ; 杜 Du ; F: 范 Fan ; 方 Fang ; 冯 Feng ; 付 Fu ; G: 高 Gao ;  葛 Ge  ; 龚 Gong ; 顾 Gu ; 郭 Guo ; H: 韩 Han ; 何 He ; 贺 He 洪 Hong ; 侯 Hou ; 黄 Hua ; 胡 Hu ; J: 贾 Jia ; 蒋 Jiang ; 姜 Jiang ; 江 Jiang ; 金 Jin ; K: 康 Kang ; L:  赖 Lai ; 李 Li ;  黎 Li ; 廖 Liao ; 梁 Liang ; 林 Lin ; 刘 Liu ; 陆 Lu ; 卢 Lu ; 路 Lu ; 吕 Lü ; 罗 Luo ; M: 马 Ma ; 麦 Mai ; 毛 Mao ; 孟 Meng ; N:  倪 Ni  ;  牛 Niu ; P: 潘 Pan ; 彭 Peng ; Q: 钱 Qian ; 秦 Qin ; 邱 Qiu ; R:任 Ren ; S: 邵 Shao ; 沈 Sheng ; 史 Shi ; 石 Shi ; 施 Shi ; 宋 Song ; 苏 Su ; 孙 Sun ; T: 陶 Tao ; 谭 Tan ; 唐 Tang ; 田 Tian ; W: 万 Wan ; 王 Wang ;  汪 Wang ; 魏 Wei ; 吴 Wu ; X: 邢 Xing ; 夏 Xia ;  蕭 Xiao ; 谢 Xie ; 徐 Xu ; 许 Xu ; 薛 Xue ; Y: 阎 Yan ; 严 Yan ; 杨 Yang ; 姚 Yao ; 叶 Ye ;  余 Yu ; 于 Yu ; 袁 Yuan ; Z: 张 Zhang ;  赵 Zhao ; 郑 Zheng ; 钟 Zhong ; 周 Zhou ;  朱 Zhu ;  庄 Zhuang ;  邹 Zou ;

Above are all single character last names, but there are some double character Chinese last names, seen below (list not exhaustive): 

独孤 Du’Gu ;  公孙 Gong’Sun ; 南宫 Nan’Gong    欧阳 Ou’Yang ;  司马 Si’Ma ; 上官 Shang’Guan ; 宇文 Yu’Wen ; 长孙 Zhang’Sun ; 诸葛 Zhu’GE ; 

2) GIVEN NAMES/COURTESY NAMES

《Elements》: 

Light*： 光 (guāng) - light，  亮 liàng - bright / shine， 明 (míng) - bright， 曦 (xī) - early dawn， 昀 (yún) - daylight， 昭 (zhāo) - light, clear，照 (zhào) - to shine upon，

Fire: 焰 (yàn) - flames， 烟 (yān) - smoke，炎 (yán) - heat/burn， 烨 (yè) - dazzling light，  

Water: also see “weather” OR “bodies of water” under nature; note the words below while are related to water have meanings that mean some kind of virtue: 清 (qīng) - clarity / purity， 澄 (chéng) - clarity/quiet， 澈 (chè) - clear/penetrating， 涟 (lián) - ripple， 漪 (yī) - ripple， 泓 (hóng) - vast water， 湛 (zhàn) - clear/crystal， 露 (lù) - dew， 泠 (líng) - cool, cold, 涛 (tāo) - big wave，泽 (zé)，浩 hào - grand/vast (water)，涵 (han) - deep submergence / tolerance / educated

Weather: 雨 (yǔ) - rain， 霖 (lín) - downpouring rain， 冰 (bīng) - ice， 雪 (xuě) - snow，  霜 (shuāng) - frost 

Wind: 风 (fēng) - wind

* some “Light” words overlap in meaning with words that mean “sun/day”

《Nature》:

Season: 春 (chūn) - spring， 夏 (xià) - summer， 秋 (qíu) - aumtum， 冬 (dōng) - winter

Time of Day: 朝 (zhāo) - early morning / toward， 晨 (chén) - morning / dawn， 晓 (xiǎo) - morning， 旭 (xù) - dawn/rising sun，昼 (zhòu) - day，皖 (wǎn) - late evening，夜 (yè) - night 

Star/Sky/Space: 云 (yún) - cloud，天 (tiān) - sky/ heaven，霞 (xiá) - afterglow of a rising or setting sun，月 (yuè) - moon，日 (ri) - day / sun，阳 (yáng) - sun，宇 (yǔ) - space，星 (xīng) - star

Birds: 燕 (yàn) - sparrow， 雁 (yàn) - loon， 莺 (yīng) - oriole， 鸢 (yuān) - kite bird (family Accipitridae)，羽 (yǔ) - feather

Creatures: 龙 (lóng) - dragon/imperial

Plants/Flowers:* 兰 (lán) - orchids，  竹 (zhú) - bamboo， 筠 (yún) - tough exterior of bamboos， 萱 (xuān) - day-lily， 松 (sōng) - pine， 叶 (yè) - leaf， 枫 (fēng) - maple， 柏 bó/bǎi - cedar/cypress， 梅 (méi) - plum， 丹 (dān) - peony

Mountains: 山 (shān)， 峰 (fēng) - summit， 峥 (zhēng)，

Bodies of water: 江 (jiāng) - large river/straits， 河 (hé) - river， 湖 (hú) - lake， 海 (hǎi) - sea， 溪 (xī) - stream， 池 (chí) - pond， 潭 (tán) - larger pond， 洋 (yáng) - ocean

* I didn’t include a lot of flower names because it’s very easy to name a character with flowers that heavily implies she’s a prostitute. 

《Virtues》: 

Astuteness: 睿 ruì - astute / foresight， 智 (zhi)， 慧 (hui)， 哲 (zhé) - wise/philosophy, 

Educated:  博 (bó) - extensively educated， 墨 (mo) - ink， 诗 (shi) - poetry / literature， 文 (wén) - language / gentle / literary， 学 (xue) - study， 彦 (yàn) - accomplished / knowledgeable, 知 (zhi) - to know， 斌 (bīn) - refined， 赋 (fù) - to be endowed with knowledge

Loyalty: 忠 (zhōng) - loyal， 真 (zhēn) - true 

Bravery: 勇 (yǒng) - brave， 杰 (jié) - outstanding, hero

Determination/Perseverance: 毅 (yì) - resolute / brave， 恒 (héng) - everlasting， 衡 (héng) - across, to judge/evaluate，成 (chéng) - to succeed， 志 (zhì) - aspiration / the will

Goodness/Kindness: 嘉 (jiā) - excellent / auspicious，磊 (lěi) - rock / open & honest， 正 (zhèng) - straight / upright / principle，

Elegance: 雅 (yǎ) - elegant， 庄 (zhuāng) - respectful/formal/solemn， 彬 (bīn) - refined / polite， 

Handsome: 俊 jùn - handsome/talented 

Peace: 宁 (níng) - quietness/to pacify, 安 （ān) - peace, safety

Grandness/Excellence：宏 (hóng) - grand，豪 (háo) - grand, heroic，昊 (hào) - limitless / the vast sky，华 (huá) - magnificent， 赫 (hè) - red/famous/great， 隆 (lóng) - magnificent， 伟 (wěi) - greatness / large，轩 (xuān) - pavilion with a view/high，卓 (zhuó) - outstanding

Female Descriptor/Virtues/Beauty: 婉 (wǎn)，惠 (huì)， 妮 (nī)， 娇 (jiāo)， 娥 (é)， 婵 (chán) (I didn’t include specific translations for these because they’re all adjectives for women meaning beauty or virtue) 

《Descriptors》:

Adverbs: 如 (rú) - as，若 (ruò) - as, alike，宛 (wǎn) - like / as though，

Verbs: 飞 (fēi) - to fly，  顾 （gù) - to think/consider， 怀 (huái) - to miss, to possess， 落(luò) - to fall, to leave behind，梦 (mèng) - to dream， 思 (sī) - to consider / to miss (someone)，忆 (yì) - memory， 希 (xī) - yearn / admire

Colours: 红 (hóng) - red， 赤 (chì) - crimson， 黄 (huàng) - yellow， 碧 (bì) - green，青(qīng) - azure，蓝 (lán) - blue， 紫 (zǐ) - violet ，玄 (xuán) - black， 白 (baí) - white

Number：一 (yī), 二 (er) - two, 三 (san) - three,  四 (si) - four,  五 (wu) - five, 六 (liu) - six, 七(qi) - seven, 八 (ba) - eight,  九 (jiu) - nine, 十 (shi) - ten

Direction: 东 (dōng) - east， 西 (xi) - west， 南 (nan) - south， 北 (bei) - north，

Other: 子 (zǐ) - child, 然 (rán) - correct / thusly

《Jade》: *there are SO MANY words that generally mean some kind of jade, bc when ppl put jade in their children’s name they don’t literally mean the rock, it’s used to symbolize purity, goodness, kindness, beauty, virtue etc*  琛 (chen), 瑶 (yao),  玥 (yue),  琪 (qi),  琳 (lin)

《Spirituality》

凡 (fan) - mortality 

色 (se) - colour, beauty. In buddhism, “se” symbolizes everything secular

了 (liao) - finished, done, letting go 

尘 (chen) - dust, I’m not… versed in buddhism enough to explain “chen”, it’s similar to “se”

悟 (wu) - knowing? Cognition? To understand a higher meaning

无 (wu) - nothing, the void, also part of like “letting go” 

戒 (jie) - to “quit”, but not in a bad way. In buddhism, monks are supposed to “quit” their earthly desires.

极 (ji) - greatness, also related to the state of nirvana (? I think?) 

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[crimsonmdzs]

ah my favorite part! i love making my characters suffer.

[formerlyluckymanticore]

Reblog if you will never. Ever. Use AI in your writing.

[crimsonmdzs]

my little festive boys

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

two things that can and should coexist: writing fanfiction for yourself as a form of self-care slash comfort and appreciating kind comments given by your readers, as well as using these encouraging comments as a source of motivation to write more fics

[charbroiledchicken-deactivated2]

"you're the writer, you control how the story goes" no not really. i wrote the first sentence and then my characters said "WE WILL TAKE IT FROM HERE" and promptly swerved into an electrical fence.

[crimsonmdzs]

You Made Me Feel Human

Pairing: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/12

Word Count: 5.1k

“They use you.” “Use you?” “For their desires. They use us like we're dolls...

Taking place in an omegaverse, where everyone is a different type of hybrid, alphas of all different hybrids want to have an omega bunny hybrid. In this type of society, Xie Lian learns the dark reality of being a bunny hybrid. He believed he would never escape this hellish life of being used, but maybe that isn't true?

⚠️ This fic contains many dark themes. Please read with caution.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[crimsonmdzs]

Happy Halloween🎃

From the babies and me

[crimsonmdzs]

It's October 1st!