Critical_Minge @critical-misunderstaning - Tumblr Blog

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artist-rat

sorry bout the shit video quality but WTHAT THE HELL. did you all just.. just know abt this or..?????

artist-rat

rift mage Rogue real

dndspellgifs

A Warforged Path of Wild Magic Barbarian, who’s learning that his life essence came from a Sor-Lock aeons ago. He values loyalty above all else, and loves cuddly critters.

He’s looking to find out something, ANYTHING about the soul that became his life. He wants to connect with the past, and resolve his former life’s issues.

First, the focus of the reading:

The Ghost, member of the High Deck. That which you seek is about to be found, whether you wish or no, for a specter of the Past extends its pale arms to touch the fabric of the Present.

The Raven, another member of the High Deck. Something you have already learned in your adventures, perhaps a hidden source of information, uncovered with luck or cunning, will lead you to what you desire. The cards see great opportunity.

Five of Stars - The Elementalist. The soul within you is the source of your primal might. Years ago, it swam in roiling seas of arcane power, and a memory of that is remembered in your wrath. Does this connection bring you comfort, or does it shackle you to the past?

One of Stars - The Transmuter. Your unstable nature will crack open a door to the unknown. A path unforseen will be laid at your feet, and you will know not where it leads. Will you have the faith to walk it? For on the other side...

Two of Stars - The Diviner. On the other side, all will be revealed, and you will come face to face with the Ghost of your past. Yes, truth may bring peace, but just as often it only delivers despair. Which one will it be this time? The cards do not tell. But what they do say is that, at the end of that road, you will know what you have been Destined to become.

The Suit of Stars is strong with your fate, so on this road, you will be offered great power. It is up to you to decide whether it is a temptation to lead you astray, or a mantle justly rewarded to a deserving hero.

regal-bones

Swords swords swords! A big collection of some commissioned swords from the past few months.

If you're an avid blade fan yourself, DM me! I offer fully animated magic items for just £40!

Or, for that same price, you could subscribe to my Patreon for over three whole years!

orym-blossoms

Raise your hand if you would watch 2.5 hours of Matthew Mercer sitting around and spilling all of the lore and "personal headcanons" he has for Essek? 🙋‍♀️

mvaljean525

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

—-

The Call of Cthulhu - 1926

H.P. Lovecraft 1890–1937

—-

Graphic - Andrée Wallin

piipstachio

TUMBLR PLEASE I WAS TRYING TO SHOW THIS

all-pacas

god the way people talk to their pets

like i’m calling myself out here but i just uttered the words “you did the stretch and now the rare and powerful double pets” (two hands at once!!) to my cat without a trace of irony

like i do not believe my cat understands a word of what i am saying but he absolutely knows my voice and i think also my tone? but also all day i’m just randomly looking over at him like “good boy!” or “are you fluffy?” or singing little songs about his current fluff levels. to an animal. a wonderful animal but a creature who absolutely does not speak english and probably only vaguely is like “this creature is communicating with me” when the strange noises come from the person’s mouth

like i just think about this sometimes

i never wanted to baby talk this cat, i dislike the whole “i am a cat mom and this is my baby” thing, he is a cat, i am a person, and yet i just spend all day talking at him. while typing this he rolled over to show off his tummy and i had to restrain myself from saying “you got a tummy?” aloud. and then i did it anyway

(he is indeed in possession of a tummy)

vaiyamagic

probablygoodrpgideas

The “Necromancy is evil“ we see in most fantasy worlds stems from a christian view of having to honor the body after death in a certain way to ensure the soul’s safety in the afterlife. And while I encourage you to explore societies that don’t see necromancy as evil, I also encourage you to explore societies that see necromancy as evil for different reasons.

Drow might believe that after death, your body belongs to Lolth and must be fed to spiders. Reanimating a body means stealing from Lolth and must therefore be punished.

A Zoroastrian inspired society might believe that with death, evil starts infesting the body, so dead bodies must be kept away from the community, and reanimating them keeps them in the community and is therefore bad.

pomrania

Ooh, sounds fun! Let me come up with some more.

necromancy is associated with the culture’s traditional enemies, and is the same level of frowned-upon as using certain symbology or weapons or languages etc which are also linked to those enemies

once someone has died, it is severely disrespectful to look upon their corpse, so anything which is VISIBLE as being an undead is Very Bad, because it means you can see that person’s dead body

the reanimated dead have historically been used to spread plague and do other biological warfare type stuff; if you create something like that, a) gross b) unsanitary c) this is interpreted as the intent to commit war crimes

135weirdos-deactivated20250128

A society of druids that uses the dead to grow sacred gardens, and reanimation deprives the dead of their part in the cycle

A society where each plot in the cemetery is used to grow vegetables/herbs for community use, to ensure that everyone is fed and the dead are visited/remembered. Necromancy deprives the community of the food that person would have grown and disconnects the dead person from their community

A society obsessed with history/recordskeeping/memory, and necromancy prevents the dead from being properly catalogued

A totalitarian society wherein the citizens are property of the state and necromancy is stealing

Death is nirvana and reanimation deprives the dead of this experience

The dead are ritually eaten by friends/family to allow them to live on, and reanimation ends their time prematurely

The finest jewelry is made of the bones of the dead, so there’s a lucrative trade in grave robbing, and the bone jewelry lobby has convinced the public that necromancy is worse than the expensive jewelry made from the bones

pomrania

when someone dies, their death is considered a “sacrifice” to the deity who presides over their cause of death; how exactly you deal with the body, that doesn’t matter so much, but USING the body to your OWN benefit, that’s an insult to the god of warfare / disease / ocean / etc. Like stealing the offerings from a shrine.

eclipseyeger

~~a culture that recognizes the effort and emotional strain their people go through in life, and when someone dies they throw a huge wake and celebrate their break from life before joining their god/reincarnating/guarding something/etc. Reanimating someone or trying to bring them back to life is seen as a huge taboo because it’s like asking someone who constantly works and finally gets a time of rest to go straight back to work before they’ve recovered. Except it’s the hardest job/adventure ever. For the same reason, motherhood, illness, leadership, recreation, personal growth, and winter are all highly venerated concepts/times in the culture, as times of rest or things in need of a period of rest eventually. To honor these times as sabbats is commanded by one of their gods after a great catastrophe. The whole community is involved with these things, and so too are is the whole community involved with death and picking up the physical or emotional slack of the person who died. If permission is given from the person who is being reanimated, then maybe maaaaaybe it’s ok, but that’s only happened once when a guardian was once needed, and it’s pretty hard to verify if it really was the person.

pomrania

reanimation is seen as asserting “ownership” over that being; so while it’s okay to have an undead animal (so long as it wasn’t someone ELSE’S animal, as that would be theft), reanimating a HUMAN counts as “slavery”

necromancy is considered “lazy”; like, dude, do the work yourself, or pay/convince someone else to do it, what kind of loser has to resort to CORPSES

only the divine can raise the dead; reanimating the dead is a poor mockery of the gods’ ability, and you are liable to be punished for your hubris, and that kind of punishment tends to have a lot of collateral damage so it’s best for mortals to solve the problem before the gods take notice

dailycharacteroption

This is a good follow up to the post about necromancy and enchantment a few days ago.

crim-bat

Bringing the dead back to fight for you acts as several war crimes at once according to the fantasy Geneva convention:

1. Unwilling compulsion

2. Psychological warfare

3. Disrespecting the dead

And as such is not seen as following the rules of engagement.

zetrystan

Technically true.

zetrystan

He got the job.

zetrystan

He takes his job seriously.

afeelgoodblog

The kid will cherish this for their whole life. If they remember it.

theroseandthebeast

tanoraqui

cannot stop thinking about some Solstryce Academy freshman in 10-20 years being like, “…and for Transmutation 101 I have Widogast. He seems kinda dry, lecture-wise, but there was a cat on his desk the whole time so, like, pretty good?”

“Oh hell yeah!” says the other student in the cafeteria. “You got Widogast? I’m so jealous. I heard he nearly gets fired or even arrested like every other year for treasonous rhetoric.”

“What.”

“Yeah! Also, the cat. He has like three I think.”

tanoraqui

A third student leans across the table to speak in an undertone. “I heard he used to be a Volstrucker.”

“Volstruckers aren’t real,” scoffs Student B. “What’s real is he - ” They lean in and lower their voice even more. “He and Archmage Beck used to be a thing.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s true!”

“It’s true.” An older student, eavesdropping, leans over from the adjacent table. “I was there when she came and arrested him personally two years ago. They had tension, man. When she handcuffed him…”

“I wish Archmage Beck would handcuff me,” Student C says wistfully.

tanoraqui

Halfway through class one day, he stops abruptly in the middle of a sentence, hand with chalk frozen at the board. Then he says, “Do not worry, Jester, I’ll be there as soon as possible. Save your spell slots; I’ll contact the others. Care for Fjord, delay if possible.” Then he puts the chalk down and looks back to the students, as he starts gathering books off his desk. “Class is dismissed - I have a family emergency to attend to. Read Chapter 15 and prepare to discuss it next week - and extra credit to the first person who can find me Expositor Lionett of the Cobalt Soul or her wife, and ask them to come immediately. Tell her Fjord’s old snake friend may be waking up at last.”

He strides out of the room without waiting for a response, books under one arm, drawing bright sigils in the air to cast a wizard’s Sending as he walks. “Old friend, do you have Teleport today, or a circle? Our captain needs urgent help, all of us. I’ll gather the ladies - can you Caduceus?”

blair-the-bold

The classroom was silent as the professor walked in. Professor Widogast looked much like he always did, though perhaps his hair a little singed, a few bandages placed haphazardly across his arms and one on his neck. He looked at his wide eyed classroom before putting his texts on his desk and sighing; he’d get no teaching done today.

“Alright, questions one at a time please,” he murmured.

Immediately every hand shot up. He pointed to a shorter student near the back, her balance shifting from side to side.

“Sorry, professor, but is it true you actually exploded a ship into a giant sea serpent like everyone’s been on about?”

It was going to be a long day.

megan-renee

Your vibe is oddly bitter and reeks of insecurity

sounds like someone needs to go in the water

dapperboar

curiositykilledthecas

Reblogging again because the art is spectacular. 10/10.