hello

[badkidsjokes]

what does NASA stand for.

not another spaceship aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[yuripink]

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

[aesopquarriman]

the care bears always make fun of bedtime bear bc hes tired all the time and accidentally falls asleep but its only bc he stays up all night to make sure that everyone else sleeps well and to banish nightmares and protect people

[lifeofcynch]

i’ve seen a lot of random things on this site, but i never thought i’d see carebears discourse

[alexander]

[alexander]

[hustlerose]

you know what they say….. a btich can never have too much fruit 

[homodotus]

[gothicprep]

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

[farmfreshmemes]

[cungadero]

18th century villager: i wish there were an easier way to ward vampires away from my happy homestead

garlic farmer about to make some serious ass bank: oh you havent heard?

[daisyjazzridley]

*male celebrities worrying about getting their career ruined*

all of us:

[faggymcfly]

the reason things like zack and cody and waverly place worked is because they were simple concepts that you could do a lot with. two twins live in a hotel. the same twins live on a cruise ship. wizards and other fantasy creatures exist in an urban setting. Nowadays Disney and Nickelodean sitcoms are all like ‘this family has a dog that can eat metal’ and they expect five seasons out of that.

[winterhalters]

3 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

8 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

16 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

[meanmediummode]

That’s depression babe!

[cleothegoldfish]

[revolutions-moved-deactivated20]

me at 9 pm: got a big day tomorrow. better hit the hay 

me at 2 am: 

[yearofthesnitch]

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

[ree-duh]

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

[hashtagloveloses]

it’s this legendary horror post

[comesitbymyfire]

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

[kuromilesbian-deactivated202205]

Me after a long day of being a stupid bitch

[zatannazatarstiel]

*cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*

[unfollowfriday]

what I imagine heterosexual marriage to be like

brad: hey hon, whats for dinner

susan: vegetable soup

brad: 

susan: what

brad: its just that I had a really long day at work and I was hoping for a little more than….vegetable soup

susan: im fucking your brother

[unfollowfriday]

this post was very controversial within the heterosexual community