Can I request a drabble? Say reader is feeling a little insecure about her body, how would Sy help her forget those feelings and just feel good.. and I’m not talking a bout them having a conversation if you know what I mean 😏
Okay I've had this just sitting around unfinished forever because the ending isn't done, but I'm just gonna post it because I've got to start somewhere. This is sort of as a part of the Surprise series and I'll link it as that eventually....and then I'll eventually also finish it in a positive way! (warning: it's not positive yet)
(tags for slight postpartum depression)
In front of the bathroom mirror, you stare at yourself, and it’s not so much disgust that you feel as it is disdain. Even though you’d given birth three months ago, you’re not where you thought you’d be by now–like, body-wise–and you’re nowhere close to being how you were before getting pregnant.
You don’t talk about it. Other people wouldn’t want to hear it, or they just wouldn’t understand. Plus, you don’t even feel like you have the right to feel this way at all; you’re able to fit into most of your regular clothes again.
Dressed, no one can tell. It’s what’s under your shirt that’s the problem. It's best to just accept what you see at face-value, squeeze your way into shape-wear, and then go about your day. You know this.
But sometimes it’s just not that easy.
“Checkin’ yourself out?” Sy jokes when he re-enters the room after finally getting your daughter to sleep. You tightly smile at his reflection in the mirror before turning away and stepping into the bedroom.
That isn’t at all what you were doing.
“Is she alright in there?” you ask Sy, trying not to worry that while you’ve been scrutinizing your stretchmarks, Sy’s been taking over putting the baby to sleep. "Went down okay?"
“Yeah," he hums while starting to pull back the covers on the bed. "Got her layin’ on her stomach with some stuffed animals 'round her face…Covered her with that big blanket your momma knitted."
Sharply, you look at him.
“Jokin’,” he immediately says, and you quickly approach the monitor on your nightstand to see your daughter laying on her back fast asleep, wearing only the warm onesie you’d dressed her in after her bath.
Good. She should be fine for the next few hours. Until your boobs get full and begin to prickle again.
Breastfeeding your daughter multiple times in the middle of the night…it’s a time you truly cherish, really. You do. It's just…it's different. It's made your body different.
Many parts of your body are different. Your hips, your breasts, your stomach. For the past few months, you've felt like a ball of dough.
Watching you stare at the monitor and zone out, Sy asks, “What’s on your mind?”
A lot.
You shrug before climbing into bed. “Wonder how long she’s gonna sleep.”
"She's been doin' four-hour stretches here lately."
"Yeah," you acknowledge. "But everything I've been readin' says there's this thing called sleep regression that I should expect soon."
"That we should expect soon," Sy corrects.
You glance over at him apologetically. "That's what I meant," you murmur.
You know this is a partnership. Obviously. You and Sy are soon to be married. You just… He's gotten promoted recently. He's going overseas again any time now. You're honestly surprised you've gotten him all to yourself for as long as you have, actually. That he'd been present for the birth of your first baby. That he’s been just as active a parent as you have.
But there’s just some things he wouldn’t possibly understand. After staring at the ceiling for a minute, you push all the covers off your body.
“I think I’m gonna take a bath,” you mutter somewhat randomly, getting up and starting for the bathroom again.
Without saying anything, Sy follows you into the room, and he digs around in the cabinet for your bubble bath container. You start the water and just stand there, not wanting to undress until he leaves.
All that does is cause him to raise an eyebrow at you. He steps in closer and puts a hand on the small of your back. "You sure you're feelin' alright, babe?"
You nod and sort of chuckle at yourself. “Just sleep-deprived,” you say. “I'll be okay.”
After Sy nods at you dubiously, he closes the door and leaves you alone. That just means you're in front of the mirror, though. Again.
You need a makeover. You need to start actually going to the gym again. You need to get a long-overdue haircut. You need to get new fucking clothes. You need to just…look different.
You just–Ugh. You don't feel right in your own skin at all.
Soon, it doesn’t even matter that you’re taking off your clothes in front of a mirror; your eyes start filling with hot tears, and the film from the liquid distorts all you see.
And that just makes you want to cry even harder because–seriously. You're being so selfish. You just had a baby a few months ago. You brought life into the world. You have a partner who helps out with everything. And he cooks for you and makes sure you're comfortable and…You're blessed. You know you are. But here you are, crying in the bathtub.
After soaking in the old tub feeling guilty about feeling ugly, you sigh and head back into the bedroom, finding Sy relaxing on the bed with his eyes half-lidded in a light nap.
You redress in your pajamas underneath the towel that's wrapped around you before dropping it, then fiddle around with stuff in your closet to busy yourself with feeling productive. Trying to, at least. You take the towel back to the bathroom, put some lotion on, some cream on your face… and sigh in front of the mirror again.
Eventually, you make your way to the bed, but you roll over on your side and don't get close to Sy. He gets close to you, though. Inadvertently, you stiffen.
Sy pauses at your reaction to him. “Okay, what’s goin’ on?” he sits up and asks.
You frown. “Nothin’.”
“You’re pullin’ away from me,” Sy comments.
“Nothin’s wrong,” you repeat, almost moodily. “I just– I'm tired and I just don’t wanna be touched right now.”
"Okay..." Sy mutters quietly. “Did I do somethin’?”
You're being unreasonable. Rolling over, you soften your eyes. “Sorry. No. Of course not. I didn’t mean to…Sorry,” you repeat. “I just don’t really feel like myself right now, I guess.”
Sy observes your face. "Maybe you're gettin' that shit that's goin' around," he brings up.
"Yeah, maybe," you reply, rolling back over and letting Sy match his chest to your back. "Hope she doesn't get it."
Sy grunts. “Doesn't your breastmilk keep her from gettin’ sick or somethin’?” he asks, and you chuckle because that's not necessarily how it works.
Then you frown again. His comment has just served to remind you that all you are is a milk-factory. Your boobs are already hurting and her last feeding was an hour ago.
With tears sitting your eyes on fire, you stare at the monitor ahead of you and wait until your baby cries again. Somewhere in the middle of waiting, you're able to let exhaustion take over.
Does the rooster warm up to reader at all when she moves in with Sy? Or maybe they get a baby goat who keeps charging at him, but curls up with her like a little love bug. Something about the idea of the animals ganging up on Sy makes me giggle.
in my head, the rooster has beef with Sy for no reason all the time, forever. Even when there are kids running around, the rooster charges at Sy as a way to protect Sy's own children from him. It does get to the point where they have a mutual understanding and keep their respective distances from one another, though. The rooster in his old age gives up on attacking him 😁
But to actually answer your question, yes, the rooster warms up to literally everyone but Sy. If they got animals like a goat or something I could totally see what you're describing, too! Mainly because goats bite and are like that. Sy is an animal whisperer with dogs and cows and horses, though. Just....the ones on his property care for Y/N and the children more.
Ok, so... I was reading again some ETS parts, as one does, and I had this thought: do they ever come up with a safeword? I know Sy is always so in tune with her, asking if she's alright through it all... But would they ever use this safeword system for their sexy times? And if yes, how would Sy act if it came to a point where she felt the need to use her word? And what if *he* was the one not feeling it, and asked to stop... I just caught myself thinking about that and thought "why not ask the author?" haha
xoxo
ooh!
sooo
i dont see it happening to be honest. If anything, Sy would suggest they use the stoplight system, but otherwise, he'd just encourage her to literally just communicate outright, would check in with her a lot, etc.
But if it was something they were doing that Y/N was like sure let's try it and then ended up not being into it at all, Sy would constantly check in and would stop straightway, no hard feelings, then discuss everything. Roses and Thorns, he calls it---Roses = good stuff and Thorns = what could change for next time.
And if it were something that Sy needed to stop, then same thing. At first Y/N would take things personally, but with time it would naturally be a lot easier because they're so comfortable with one another by then. ☺️
I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.
I can't believe it's about to be mid-year soon, the years are going by so fast, I recently got the Tumblr birthday msg for my account and it's only 3 years old but I really made my account to follow you so it's got me thinking...3 years and I have yet to find a better comfort fic for myself. Unless if I ever end up finishing my stuff but that could take decades. So just a reminder that I love you and your writing and i hope life's going better for you! Things are just crazy everywhere this year it seems, esp the US. And I get so easily overstimulated when I'm online, but at least there's fanfiction to enjoy thanks to writers like you.
Anyway, like I said, hope you are well and just remember you are very much appreciated. I'm so glad I found your blog, its one of those things where my life would have been extremely different if I hadn't, the way I think and I write (rarely) has been affected a lot.
Much love! 💕⚗️
YOU'RE TOO KIND!!!
It might take me decades, too, so I'm right there with you. (But not really--hopefully not decades lol). I'm so glad that you enjoy it so much, seriously. I write to self-express and all that, but it's so so rewarding when other people get something out of it.
I know I've been weird and distant and negative, but I'm slowly coming out of my cage and doing kinda fine now. (Except the Avs should've made it to the Final with the season they've had but now they're eliminated so that's my most recent despair)
Man, I'm so happy that I've had some sort of positive impact!! It's motivating me to get more active! I may not write more than the end of ETS, but at least I can hopefully do that and be more present in the community that I can honestly say has been so supportive and encouraging and positive--you especially!!
This is what I love about photojournalism. It is just a history of moments where human beings have gone “I know I should really be hauling ass out of here but I have to get a picture of this”
went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning
It is so human and so not romance novel that after Elizabeth Bennet in Pride & Prejudice reads Mr. Darcy's letter and accepts that Wickham was the real villain and not him, her reaction is not, "Oh no, I loved and lost him!" it's "Oh shit, I fucked up! I hope I never see that man again in my entire life."
Croissants Are Everything @croissantsareeverything - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
stormborns
izzy806
snowghoul
areudirty
