Blackbird Chesspiece

♜ Rook//Nonbinary//Lokean //Feminist//Witch ~~~TESTIMONIALS~~~ "10/10 would snog in a graveyard." ~Crowley @clover-system "Sharp as nails, bright as a full moon, fuzzy as a corgi's ass" ~@thehawethornekaleidoscope

[crow-cathedral-blog]

Hey, it’s been a while

I just thought Id make an official announcement that I moved blogs a long time ago. Probably at least a year ago. I’m in a very different place, im a different person, and while I like this up for archive, I’m not really going to be here anymore. I also don’t really wanna give out my new URL because I’d just like to leave the past behind me.  But I want people to know that I’m doing well! I’m in a new state, with my lovely nesting partner, with a part-time job and therapy and medication and health insurance and hormones, Im on my way to top surgery now, and we’re working to get our own apartment now that my partner has a new job,. things are going so much better for me and I just hope no one worried too much and thought to let people know in case they did.  I’m doin good, and I just wanna move on. Thanks friends and followers. o/ It’s been good.

[ultrabeast69]

[5thdivinebeast]

Calm ur tit Just one tit Leave the other one crazy and out of control That ur party tit

[angelsfilth]

[shoutloaf]

if i didnt have depression no one could fucking stop me. i only have depression because otherwise im too powerful

[lorileadfoot-deactivated2020072]

god nerfed me 

[smolsoftkarkat]

What is a Favorite Person in the BPD community?

Intro.

So I’ve tried looking up a definition for what a Favorite Person is, specifically in the BPD community, but I can’t find anything that’s a straight out explanation hardly. I see lots of examples of people talking about their FP, but hardly any explanations to what it is, especially in words suited to those new to BPD/without BPD.

So here is my take on defining what a Favorite Person in terms of BPD. I’m very new on the subject of BPD though, so please add to this if you have more experience and think I missed something! Or send me an ask~

So what is a Favorite Person?

For those with BPD, it’s like a common thing to have Favorite Person(s). It doesn’t mean they like or care about other people less (though that can be true for some, it’s case by case), it just means they have this one person (or sometimes persons) who they seek validation from the most and want to spend time with the most; it’s naturally very important to them. Often the Favorite Person is someone a person with BPD is dating or it’s one of their best friends. Sometimes even a parent. It’s not bizarre for someone they just met to become their FP either I think, depending.  Some people even hate their Favorite Person. It’s likely thanks to splitting, which is a common thing in BPD as well. (wiki info on splitting here)

What is Splitting? And why can’t non-BPD folks use the term Favorite Person?

Idealizing and devaluing basically; which can come out like “I know this person has flaws, but like even their flaws aren’t that big a deal <3 it’s just part of them” (idealizing) to “wow their flaws are such a big deal, i can’t deal with this right now, i’ve made a mistake” (devaluing).

Splitting is likely the cause of having a Favorite Person to begin with, and that’s why many folks with BPD are greatly uncomfortable with non-BPD folks using the term Favorite Person to describe best friends or lovers. A Favorite Person is not the same as just someone you really like, no matter how intensely. (and no the term doesn’t always have to be capitalized, I’m just doing that for emphasis)

To those with BPD, a Favorite Person is someone who they feel a need to be with, an urge they may not even understand or be aware of. I’ve had plenty of FPs myself and only recently realized that’s what they were. It’s different from simply having a person you care about deeply, because this is a very intense and innate urge for BPD folks whether they feel any romantic or sexual feelings about the person. It’s very similar to wanting to share things with people you like, it’s just a hell of a lot more intense if they’re your Favorite Person, and only those with BPD or similar mental illnesses feel that intensity with it.

Like I said, you don’t even have to like someone for them to be your FP. The thing is you have this innate urge to seek them out for attention and validation or comfort above all others. It often gives those of us with BPD a sense of peace and “all is right in the world” when we get the attention we desire from our Favorite Person.

So yeah, I think that covers the basics. If this helped any, please reblog to share!

(Post made on Nov. 24th 2015, updated Nov. 27th 2015)

Update/Edit:

Imprinting is also usually the significant difference between a person you really like and a borderline person’s Favorite Person(s).

I do not personally feel that “favorite person” is off-limits as a term to others without BPD, but in the context of BPD it is important that people understand the meaning and significance. Reblogging BPD posts without understanding and potentially invalidating the poster’s illness and feelings is something to be mindful of.

There are also folks with BPD who do not yet know that’s what they have, and they relate to Favorite Person posts, so please don’t tell people they can’t relate to this unless they’re “BPD-qualified”. It’s a tricky disorder, very tricky, and isolating the BPD community from others to fight stigma is counterproductive imo. This is not at all meant to invalidate the intensity of BPD for those who have it, just a kind reminder not to dismiss the feelings of others.

Be helpful (educate), be patient, and be kind, to others and yourself!

[annieelainey]

[Text, “No More Craptions” followed by an image of the Closed Caption logo in the shape of the “Pile of Poo” emoji, crossed by the red symbol for “No”. Annie with lavender hair and a button up denim shirt]

#NoMoreCraptions is a campaign by Rikki Poynter for Deaf Awareness Month in her continuous effort to make YouTube equally accessible to all users, as well as to highlight the injustice of the lack of captions and inaccurate captions (or “craptions”) that mock the need for access.

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[autisticarchive-deactivated2019]

“Ableist feminism is talking about rape culture without ever mentioning that disabled women are raped and sexually abused to an even higher degree than most women and that they’re often completely unable to escape the situation due to being dependent on abusive caregivers.”

“Ableist activism/feminism is women trying to convince men they’re equal by saying they’re emotionally stable, not crazy, intelligent, have a high IQ, can work/provide for themselves etc.“

“Ableist feminism is abuse resource sites acting like all abused children can leave at age 18, and if you experience abuse after that, it must be your sexual partner. It’s legal codes that don’t even recognize dependent young adults exist.”  

“Ableist feminism is talking about how #yesallwomen experience sexual harassment without ever acknowledging the dehumanizing desexualization of disabled people.”

“Ableist feminism often uses the fact that most able women can take care of themselves and are therefore as capable as most able men to argue that men and women are equal. Disabled women and nonbinary people who cannot do certain things on their own are as equal to able men as able women are.

“Ableist feminism is claiming to be socially aware and intersectional while making fun of men who live with their parents, don’t have a job, can’t do their laundry, have trouble with personal hygiene, are socially awkward or have other traits that are heavily related to disability and mental illness.”

“Ableist feminism is calling men who harass, attack or abuse women “crazy”, “psycho”, “delusional” and “autistic.” 

“Ableist feminism is talking about how wrong it is that a woman makes 0.77 to a mans dollar without mentioning how it’s legal to pay disabled people far below the minimum wage.”

Let’s talk about ableism in mainstream feminism - submit your examples of ableist feminism here. 

[sovietmontage]

[tearosewright-deactivated201703]

Today is R U OK day, a day about mental health awareness. Ask your friends, family and loved ones how they are, this conversation could change a life.

[illness-adnauseum]

Reblog if your illness does define you

Reblog if your illness has shaped your outlook on life and the world.

Reblog if your illness has warped your perceptions of people and social situations.

Reblog if your illness has altered some of the most fundamental aspects of your personality.

Reblog if your illness has impacted all of your relationships, and even been the reason for the beginning or end of some.

Reblog if your illness is often the cause of your moods and emotions, and affects nearly all of your moods and emotions in regard to other things.

Reblog if your illness has changed the strength of your virtues, from compassion and tolerance, to perseverance and determination, to gratitude and generosity.

Reblog if your illness has been a part of your life for so long that you honestly can’t differentiate the parts of your identity that are influenced by your illness from the parts that aren’t influenced by your illness.

Most importantly, please reblog this if you’re okay with your illness being on the incredibly long list of things that define you. Reblog if you don’t feel like your identity has to be completely undefined by your illness in order be valid. Reblog if you don’t necessarily like the parts of yourself that come from your illness, but don’t think that makes them any less you.

[crohnsbae]

When my parents used to tell me that I didn’t have to let my illness become such a huge part of my life, I told them that I didn’t have a choice in that. It’s not something I’m proud of, but this is my life now. And that means that I get to talk about it.

[thezebrapatient-deactivated2018]

Or when parents or older relatives try to correct me by saying that there is nothing “wrong” with me. DUH, I’m not six years old. I know there isn’t something fundamentally wrong with myself as a person, but there is something, actually many things, wrong with me medically. These affect my cognition, and should be addressed and not ignored. 

Ignoring disabilities causes more harm than good. All it is doing is making you, the able-bodied person, feel more comfortable.

[eskarrina]

As someone with EDS, my illness affects all of me. When I hear “Don’t let it define you” I just want to laugh. My DNA literally defines me as a human being, specifically THIS human being. So, yeah. My disability is part of the genetic code that defines me.

[blackshuckofficial-deactivated2]

“have you tried weed to fix your mental illness” is just the libertarian version of “have you tried yoga”

[iskariotrising]

[butch-king-frankenstein]

Visit Original Link

[spitblaze]

[no-corners-deactivated20160918]

on target

the notion that target is somehow inclusive of trans folks is corporate propaganda. i worked at one of the largest targets in the country for a year in 2015-2016 and it was horrible.

the target in question had their liquor license through the pharmacy and was allowed therefore to sell full-strength alcohol (a rarity for supermarkets in colorado), 

some sort of corporate dispute led to them changing the company providing pharmaceutical services, and they abolished my department to make room for a liquor store 

obvs, this was all kept secret from us, even as they failed to fix/replace our broken and unsafe equipment (nonworking refrigerators, moldy food, there was a FLOOD and MILDEW) in the middle of the holiday season

despite rumors that the department would be shutting down, they continued to promise new hires? our department basically ran on a skeleton crew (1-2 ppl per shift) for the entire holiday season

(this department properly staffed would have had 2-4 people per shift)

all of our requests for transfers or complaints of dangerous working conditions were repeatedly ignored by management and administration

when the rumors that our department was on the way out were finally proven true- none of us were even allowed to apply for jobs at the new liquor section. 

instead, we were all split up into different departments and had our hours cut, some by half

i basically walked late january of this year, as did most of my fellow crew members

i remember i applied for a job at target in the first place because I heard their health plan was good? it’s not. 

my manager was transphobic af. 

it wasn’t until after i came out that i started to be consistently harassed for being 5-10 minutes late even once over the course of weeks. 

i was once late 7 minutes and my manager literally threatened to fire me

target is disgusting. don’t fall for their lies. sorry folks. 

[no-corners-deactivated20160918]

PLEASE feel free to boost this

target spends a LOT of money on being seen as “transgender-friendly”

folks should probably know how terrible this company is

[nasagal]

(not so) Breaking News: I’m sad again and everyone’s tired of hearing about it

[sleepbby]

be sure to understand ur s/o’s way of showing affection and make them aware of yours.. some ppl show affection by buying u things and some ppl will say I love u a million times and some will make u breakfast some will leave u the last ice cream, but it’s really important to know about these things bc u could not notice them and feel unloved while your s/o feels taken for granted and it’s just all a big misunderstanding so please talk about these things

[xxcookiecrumbsxx]

Hi these are called love languages and there are five of them and you can take a quiz to find out which one is yours and like your secondary one and so can your partner and they’re really useful

[asarlaithe-deactivated20220528]

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ tag urself i’m words of affirmation