hihihi my name is crowe (literally just pronounced "crow" but I added an e for extra whimsy)
they/them pronouns and bisexual with an awesome sauce girlfriend
I am a minor so pls remember that !!!
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
main fandoms:
toilet bound hanako-kun
tadc
demon slayer
lotr/the hobbit
deltarune/undertale
saiki k
dandy's world
doctor nowhere
mha
pjsk (new addition!)
etc, etc....
(previously in the pressure fandom but left for obvious reasons)
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
I occasionally post art here, usually I just reblog stuff or write random things while I'm half conscious and severely sleep deprived (which is pretty much all the time)
technically a yumeshipper, I'm real chill with it and obviously I share (hitoshi shinso)
usually I don't interact with people but feel free to say hi or ask questions, I don't mind
currently fighting severe depression, anxiety, and ulcerative colitis so BEAR WITH ME. also got recently diagnosed with some high blood pressure problems so yeah 💔
I also have a second presence in my head named Lucien (he/him pronouns - and he's gay). a lot of my art will be of him and all of it is canon to his story and who he is, since he gives me mental images and I draw them :)
[ID: A looping gif of the brushbuddy from Witch Hat Atelier patting its paws repeatedly, edited to have a PNG of a toy xylophone (the same one from the "Neil banging out the tunes" photo) beside it so it looks like the brushbuddy is playing it. End ID]
What sickens me the most about qifrey and olruggio is that the girls are a reflection of everything qifrey loves about olruggio. Every aspect of olruggio that he has relied on or admired is something that greets him in the girls.
Richeh has that stubborn drive to prove the impossible and a stubborn steadfast acceptance of those changed by magic. She holds euini as a beast. The same one that drove olruggio to pester qifrey relentlessly as children despite rumors and unpopularity.
Agott knows the ambition and the shame that drives talent and skill. In her is his precision and respect for the craft. One that barters with a love of wonder. One that steps aside for care and growth. Forgiveness as well.
Tetia knows the desire to help and to comfort. That friendly social ability and a habit for helping at the first opportunity. All those free favors he does for towns, inventing endless ways to make people's lives easier.
Coco knows selflessness and loyalty. She stands alongside those who would be cast away for the magic in their bodies to advocate for their needs. She runs through fire to help someone who has lost faith in her.
Qifrey couldn't keep Olruggio as close as he wanted so he gathered these four pieces of him and held them tighter than anything. Those are their children.
I HATE my chronic illness. for one, it's a chronic illness. I'm never going to be able to go back to a life before I had it, and I do miss that life, even if I don't remember it much anymore. two...
well, actually there's a lot more issues than two. it makes it hard for me to even eat food. if any of my friends have noticed how I primarily just eat snacks or very small portions of food, I swear it's not an eating disorder. my chronic illness just puts a lot of stress on my digestive system, which makes it very hard for me to simply eat a normal amount (however, I can sometimes eat a normal amount if I get insanely hungry... but that doesn't happen much). I just made myself a nice bowl of noodles, which was filled halfway. I was only able to eat about half of it. oof.
my chronic illness relates to my new blood pressure and blood clotting issues - known as Factor 5! Factor 5, in all simplicity, is an issue with the blood where the blood can't scab properly, or will scab too much. it generally isn't that bad, but it can react badly to some medication. but since my chronic illness makes me bleed sometimes... it's even harder for my body to heal with Factor 5. and my blood pressure is insanely high for my age, and it's getting worse by the day. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest at most moments, even as I write this (and I'm just laying down!). it sucks and can actually be painful, especially in the morning.
my chronic illness reacts badly to stress. in fact, that's actually one of the reasons why it can pop up! and... well, I'm stressed out a lot. and nothing fixes it (even though my therapist insists those breathing exercises do...). ugh.
generally, my chronic illness is harmless. it can hurt sometimes, of course, but it doesn't usually do anything too crazy. but if it gets bad enough... it turns into what's called Toxic Megacolon. and, in all simplicity, its fatal. it's very rare and it's hard to even get to that stage, but it's something I've been afraid of. I don't have it (it would be super obvious if I did), and I likely never will (my doctor has gone over all of this with me recently), but it's still something that I think about sometimes. I don't want to imagine a world where I have that. I don't want to have that at all.
I wish people didn't overlook ulcerative colitis so much. it's an invisible disability (I have a 504 because of that), and yet people just... don't think about it. don't talk about it because it's "gross" or "weird" to talk about intestines (it can be, don't get me wrong, but it's not that bad). a lot of people don't even know about ulcerative colitis! they know about IBD and crohn's disease, but nobody ever seems to talk about ulcerative colitis despite the fact that it's literally a type of IBD.
Qifrey is Such A Character because I'm like twenty chapters in to witch hat atelier and pretty much the only things he's done has been have whimsical little cottagecore picnics, be nice to children, and have category 9 domestic events with the whole adult man who lives in his attic. And somehow he does all of this whilst projecting an aura of horrible, tangible sadness. Mans is frolicking in meadows and giving the general impression of a haunted victorian orphan. He's cooking sweet potatoes and I fully expected him to tell the reader he was waterboarded as a child. He's entrancing.
had the craziest dream last night. I don't remember much of it but it was honestly really weird...
(tw for mentions of organs and death)
I remember I'd been doing something in my dream- I think I'd been running around a lot with other people. I've always had a hard time breathing during/after physical activity, but this was clearly worse in the dream. I blacked out and then woke up in a hospital bed. I was still kind of disoriented, but I heard a nurse tell me that I had a, quote, "rotten lung". YEAH. and I was just kinda like... what? how though!? and then the nurse also said that they weren't able to take it out during the surgery because of... something (I think she said there was a risk of the other lung being damaged?). so yeah. I healed up and got to go out of the hospital, but I couldn't do much physical activity because of that. whenever I breathed deeply or heavily, I felt so much pressure in my chest on the side with the "rotten lung" (I think it was my left side). I think a few months passed in the dream. whenever I had done too much physical activity, that rotten-ness literally started spreading from my chest (now visible on my skin btw) to the rest of my body. it was slow but real. and it just kept happening until I had been jogging (for some reason), collapsed, and died because the rotten-ness spread so far. I then proceeded to wake up
