BBT’s Like Dump

[crowley-macleod]

reblog sideblog of @bearsbeetstextposts

mostly Hazbin Hotel, Metal Gear, House, Supernatural, Hannibal, Book of Mormon, Grand Theft Auto V + probably a bunch of other stuff I forgot, anyway go check the pinned post of my main for the full list 🫡

[mechanicalrot]

*meeeting a friend for coffee* friend: how's work been?

me: oh you know *mimes putting a gun in my mouth but i moan a little and start sucking the barrel and pushing it deeper

[tiktaalic]

Always thinking about that post that’s like you know a shows fucked when people can name individual writers.

[tiktaalic]

In a complete monotone. Pilot Eric kripke. Episode 2 Eric kripke. Dead in the water sera gamble. Route 666 buckleming. Dead man’s blood sera gamble. Skin sera gamble. Faith sera gamble. Phantom traveler directed by Robert singer. Nightshifter Ben edlund. Heart sera gamble. What is and what should never be sera gamble. It’s a terrible life sera gamble. After school special Andrew dabb. The prisoner andrew dabb dir. tobin. Carry on Andrew dabb dir. Robert singer. Lazarus rising Eric kripke dir. Kim manners.

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[apricustar]

remember in ep. 1 when niall woke up—after having fallen asleep in ruben's arms while he was choking him out—with cum in his pants :)

[apricustar]

what if he cums in his kilt while ruben is beating him what then.

[mcdoogledork]

So I misread the Wikipedia episode summaries of Half Man and thought that Ruben and Niall were actually half-siblings (same dad).

And now I that I've caught up to episode 5, I actually really like that as a theory. What if when Ruben was tripping on LSD and told Niall about his dad having another kid, that Ruben was confusing the timeline of his life and was actually referring to Niall?

I know Niall was 8 when his father died, so definitely old enough to remember the man, but whose to say that his mom didn't cheat (or way worse was raped by Ruben's dad)? What if that's how their moms met, because their sons have the same bio dad?

I just feel like it explains so much of why Ruben got as close with Niall as he did, or why he started looking out for Niall, why Ruben freaked out so much when Niall brought it up the next day, or why Ruben would give Lori money specifically to help out Niall after Niall not lying in court is what landed Ruben in jail.

And how that would be such a perfect last gut punch to Niall for whatever goes down in the barn. For Ruben to confess that last secret, that they are actually brothers. Not a gut punch because Niall would be realizing that he just killed his actual brother, but because Niall would come to realize that the real reason Ruben made himself part of Niall's life wasn't because Ruben saw something in Niall, no it's simply because they were family.

In the end, again, Niall wasn't special.

[plumedpenn]

My prediction (what if?) for the finale:

They end up fighting, surprise surprise I know. Ruben gets Niall in a headlock as he did in the first episode, but this time he doesn’t stop squeezing. Niall is fading and fading quick, their past flying before his eyes, the escalation of it all, he can’t escape no matter how hard he fights, no matter how hard he hits, grabs or claws. The scene cuts out.

Then, a little later, Niall wakes up. Bookended positioning of the first ep, Niall waking up in Ruben’s arms, a fucked up facsimile of an embrace patriarchy can’t condone without revealing its fundamental lies. Everything rushes back. Niall, still afraid, “sneaks” out of the limp hold. Ruben’s arm flops to the floor. His eyes are open, fixed. There’s blood. A lot of it. Niall’s wedding gift knife sticking out, low in his gut. Niall had gotten hold of it in the struggle and stabbed back at him.

Niall is free of him, except for all the ways he isn’t. He wonders if he was truly in mortal danger? Ruben goes for the head stomp when he goes for the kill, not the choke, did Niall misread it? Did he want to misread it? Was the knife just a way to finally assert *his* dominance over Ruben, a phallic penetration after so many years being ‘his bitch’ etc etc? Or is this just Ruben in his head still? Like he was the first time he went to prison? Is Ruben still going to rule his life because Niall won’t let himself let go of all the toxic beliefs Ruben represented?

Yes.

Aaaaand curtains.

[vincentpriceofficial]

I bet Niall’s dick isn’t even objectively anything to write home about it’s just bigger than Ruben’s and on those grounds he’s been seething for decades

[cummandercold]

ok prediction for the half man finale:

i think ruben is going to kill himself in front of niall. i’m up in the air about whether niall will come out alive, but ruben forcing niall to live without him would be the final one-up, the final win

i think that the second niall sees ruben pull up on his motorcycle, when there’s that intense moment of eye contact and ruben’s face goes from what almost looks like nerves, to a smug challenge - i think at that moment, they both know this is the final reckoning

ruben says something in the first episode about “before i lose you forever” but he says that after niall and alby are married, after he essentially gave niall permission to say “i do.” so what else could he mean by that?

and the near-smile on his face when the sheet is pulled off his body in ep 4!! idk i just really think ruben will find a way to win for good

[khrusch-on-art]

just wanted to draw alby

[vavistus]

Half Man (2026)

[eyeamaround]

I hope Ruben rapes Niall again and then Niall fucking STABS him and then KILLS HIMSELF out of shame

[crowthis]

So actually what if ruben kills himself on nialls wedding day

[densitywave]

said this in the tags of another post i made and i’m unfortunately kind of obsessed with the thought of niall losing ruben and being forced to live with a phantom limb that’ll ache and throb for the rest of his life. niall left permanently without his other half.

[jaypentaghast]

you can only pick one for the half man finale

murder-suicide

necrophilia

niall's nose gets bitten off

sex but not regular sex (dry hump on the floor while trying to kill each other)

NONE i am a dull little creature

Voting ended onMay 29

edit: you can only pick one which means the other things are NOT happening

[bambicest]

oh god the idea of an ambiguous ending is so scary like what if we never find out if niall is alive or not in that barn. schrodingers scotsman D:

[crobones]

I swear to GOD if the finale ends with Niall having killed Ruben and his final words are "he groped me" said in the most hollow and empty voice a man can muster after killing the obsession of his life, I WILL projectile vomit