au where Damian’s on ok-enough terms with his mother’s side of the family that they keep in contact, and on a phone call with Ra’s he finds out about Tim having lost his spleen; a fact which Tim did NOT alert the rest of the bats to due to a mixture of him not remembering that it might be relevant and him not wanting to deal with all the questions/shock of it all. luckily for Tim, Damian grew up in the league and has dealt with/seen so much shit in his life that he too does not really think Tim being spleenless is that important, and doesn’t think to bring it up.
unfortunately, Damian is also the youngest brother and is, in essence, a little fucking shit. so a couple months later when Red Robin has to meet up with Batman, Nightwing, and Robin to discuss the ring of illegal organ harvesters that Robin and Nightwing have just infiltrated, Damian hands over a gift bag with a clearly bitten-back grin and falsely-innocent expression.
Tim opens the back and genuinely bluescreens.
“I- I uh,” Damian chokes back a giggle. “I heard you needed one of these.”
Tim’s face is so uncomprehending that Dick snatches the bag away and moves to open it, complaining about how Damian had made them stop at a craft store on the way over to buy the bag and he still doesn’t fucking know why-
he looks in the bag and screams.
“WHY DID YOU TAKE- WHAT EVEN IS THAT?”
Tim stares forward blankly, in pure awe at the levels of comedy his little brother is bringing to the table. “It’s a spleen. He’s given me a spleen.”
Damian collapses into a fit of laughter to the point of crying while Dick, horrified, tries not to throw up over the mangled rotting organ Damian had stolen from the illegal-transplant ring. he doesn’t stop laughing for the better part of an hour and Bruce has to talk to Damian about the dangers of messing with case evidence, especially when that evidence is actual human remains.
obviously the question of why Damian thought it would be funny to gift Tim a spleen of all things brings about the knowledge that Tim does not have his original, which Tim is not happy about. the worst part is Tim can’t even be mad at Damian for it because that’s genuinely the funniest fucking joke he’s ever heard of in his life and he’s only pissed off that Damian of all people thought of it before he did.
