Cruddy Crow

Welcome to the Cruddy Crow, where the writing is mediocre but the owner does their best.

[cruddy-crow]

Snow Day

Six of Crows x Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: When snow falls over Ketterdam, you find out that Inej has never had a real snow day. The crows band together to have some fun on their day off.

Warnings: Slight use of Y/N, some non-canon things (Kaz is the owner of the slat, he touches the reader's hair), mentions of guns and knives. fluff, more fluff. Please let me know if I forgot anything.

Word Count: 3K words.

I sat up in my bed, startled, as a squeal rang out from the downstairs of the slat. I quickly grabbed a sweater hanging on the back of my desk chair and my pistol before making my way down the stairs. As I got to the last step, my heartbeat began to calm. I took in the sight of Nina leaning against the windowsill, admiring the white snowflakes that fell to the ground. 

“Matthias, do you see it?” Nina said, grabbing his arm. 

“Yes, I do,” Matthias said, looking at Nina with love. 

“So that’s what you were screaming about,” I said, placing my pistol on the side table and walking over to stand next to Nina. 

“Y/N! Look at all of it! It’s been so long since we’ve gotten snow!” Nina smiled, eyes not straying from the sight. 

“It has been a while, I kind of missed it,” I said softly, admiring how the snow covers the ground and the trees. 

“What is with all the noise?” a sharp voice came from behind us.

We all turned to see none other than Kaz Brekker, dressed in his usual slacks and waistcoat, leaning against his cane with an annoyed look. 

“It’s snowing!” Nina exclaimed before turning back to the view, not bothered by Kaz’s sour mood. 

I continued looking at Kaz, suddenly aware that I was still in my sleep clothes. We held eye contact until he gave me a once-over, the tips of his ears turning slightly red as he met my eyes again. I averted my eyes from my sock-adorned feet to my pistol on the side table before grabbing it. 

“I’m going to go change,” I mumbled. 

If Nina and Matthias heard me, they did not make a point of acknowledging it. Kaz, however, met my eyes again; his face held a softer look than it did before. He gave me a small nod, and I slipped around him to head up the stairs. 

I quickly made my way into my room, blushing in embarrassment at Kaz seeing me in my sleep clothes. I changed into a pair of slacks, tucking my long-sleeve shirt into them. I then put on my boots, cuffing the slacks at the ankle so I did not step on them. I placed my dagger and holster onto the side of my leg, as well as put on my arm bracers, which hold two smaller knives. I styled my hair, grabbing a coat on the way out of my room. 

Though the slat has gone through major upgrades within the time that Kaz has taken it over, getting heat to all rooms in the building seems impossible. The only rooms that ever seem to hold a lot of warmth are the common area, the kitchen and Kaz’s room. All of which hold a fireplace. The bastard chose the room with the fireplace, not only because he is the owner of the slat, but because it is the largest room. It doubles as both his office and his room, though a wall separates the two; you can only catch glimpses of what's on the other side. 

I was broken out of my thoughts by Jesper, “Y/N!” he exclaimed from the couch.

I walked over to the back of the couch that he and Wylan were sitting on, “Jes!” I said back in an attempt to mimic his excitement.

“Did you see the snow? Do you think we will have to go out on a job still?” Jesper asked, leaning his elbow on the back of the couch to further face me. 

I scrunched up my face in confusion, “Yes, I saw the snow, but how should I know if Kaz will still send us on the job or not?” 

Jesper groaned dramatically, and Wylan rolled his eyes in return. “Because! You know everything when it comes to Kaz. He always lets you in on all of his secrets. Meanwhile, we are left in the dark until the last second!” 

“Unfortunately, Jes, I don’t think it's everybody. I think it may just be you.” I said, smirking at him. 

Jesper's mouth fell open with shock, “That is so mean.” 

Wylan giggled, “She’s not wrong, though.” 

Jesper immediately turned to Wylan with disbelief, “Not you, too!” 

Wylan continued to giggle as Jesper poked at him, trying to get close enough to tickle Wylan. I smiled and stepped away before they tried to get me involved. I turned to the bookshelf in the corner of the common room and grabbed my current read. I spared a look back at Nina and Matthias, who were now sitting beside the window and eating their breakfast. 

I made my way into the kitchen, pouring myself a cup of coffee. Just as I was putting the kettle back, I heard a small creak behind me. 

“Would you like some, Inej?” I said softly.

“Yes, please.” She said, coming up to the counter beside me. 

I turned and grabbed another mug from the cupboard, pouring some coffee into it. I then slid the sugar over to her, knowing she liked her coffee sweeter than bitter. I took a seat at the small table near the window, setting both my coffee and my book in front of me. Inej sat down at the seat across from me after a few moments. She looked outside, admiring the snowfall as she sipped her coffee. 

Inej met my eyes, setting her cup onto the table, “Do you like the snow?” 

I turned my head towards the window, mulling it over for a moment before responding, “I do.” 

Silence fell over us for a moment more, silently sipping on our coffee. 

“Do you like the snow?” I asked quietly, giving her a small smile.

She giggled lightly before turning her attention back to the window, “I don’t know. I’ve never really had the time to enjoy it.” 

My eyebrows furrowed in thought, “So, you’ve never gone sledding? Built a snowman? Had a snowball fight?” 

Inej’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Do what?” 

I smiled before looking out the window, “I have an idea.”

“Oh no. You’re doing your scheming face.” Inej said, smiling up at me. 

“Sure am. We are going to have a snow day.” I stated, sitting up straighter in my seat. 

“A what?” Inej said, confused but excited.

“A snow day! A day out in the snow!” I exclaimed, drinking up the rest of my coffee before taking the mug to the sink. 

Inej followed behind me, placing her mug into the sink as well. She trailed behind me as I walked into the common area.

“How do you guys feel about having a snow day?” I asked, my eyebrow raised at the four crows. 

“A snow day?” Matthias questioned from the window. 

“A snow day!” Nina exclaimed, already standing from her seat.

“What’s a snow day?” asked Jesper.

I sighed, “A snow day! A day out in the snow! Inej has never built a snowman or had a snowball fight! We’ve got to show her!” I said, smiling at the small group. 

In silent agreement, everyone quickly began to bundle up in the warmest clothes they had. Wylan insisting jesper at least take his scarf, and Nina takes one of Matthias’s heavy coats. I helped bundle Inej up in one of my sweaters, as well as a pair of gloves. 

Eventually, we all made our way out the back door into the small courtyard that was located behind the slat. It was one of the very few patches of grass left in Ketterdam, and it was just big enough for some snow day activities. 

“What do you want to do first, Inej?” I asked her.

“I’m not sure. What are my options again?” She asked, smiling at the snow falling around her. 

“I don’t think we can go sledding here, since there are no hills and hardly enough space. What about building a snowman?” I said.

She looked at me, a twinkle shining in her eye, “Let’s do that!” 

Somehow, Jesper took the lead. He instructed Matthias to build the bottom of the snowman, since it needed to be the biggest part. He instructed Nina to gather decorating supplies. Then instructed Inej and me to start building the middle of the snowman while he and Wylan worked on the head. 

We both got down on our knees in the snow. Inej dug her hands into it and held it up, “How do we do this?”

“I normally take a handful of snow, make it into a ball, and then start rolling it around in the snow until it’s big enough.” I shrugged, making a snowball in my hands. 

Inej let out a giggle before following my lead. Once we both had decently sized snowballs, I gestured for Inej to come closer. 

“Now we have to combine them, and then push it around to gather more snow.’ I instructed her before bringing the two snow clumps together. 

Inej smiled as she took the large snowball and began rolling it around. I took a step back, admiring all the crows at work. Nina was now laughing at Matthias’s large ball of snow, Jesper and Wylan seemed to be doing more flirting than focusing on their task, and Inej looked to be having the time of her life playing in the snow. 

I couldn’t help but let my mind drift to a certain crow that has yet to join in on the fun. I turned towards the window that led to his room, feeling the snowflakes fall lightly against my face. I turned away from the window, knowing that I likely wouldn’t see Kaz until the evening, when everyone has settled down. 

“Do you think this is big enough?” Inej says from beside me.

I turned towards her, taking in the ball of snow that reached to her knees. 

“Saints, Inej! Matthias better hope he can lift that!” I said, giggling, before rolling the ball over to where everyone stood in a circle with their materials. 

“Matthias, would you mind assembling our dear snowman?” Jesper said with a smile, gesturing to the three large pieces of snow. 

Matthias nodded and began to place each of the pieces on top of another, the largest on the bottom and the smallest one on top. 

Nina held out the rocks she gathered to Inej, “Do the honours?” 

Inej took the rocks from Nina. “What do I do with these?” 

“They’re his eyes!” Nina said, pointing to the head of the snowman. 

Inej made a noise of realisation and stepped up to push the two rocks into the snow. 

Jesper and Wylan took the sticks from Nina, placing them onto either side of the Snowman to create his arms. 

“Now what?” Inej asked, looking around at everyone. 

“I think he needs a scarf!” Jesper said, taking off his scarf and wrapping it around the ‘neck’ of the snowman. 

“And some gloves!” I said, taking off my gloves and placing them over the ends of the sticks. 

“Hm. I feel like there’s something else we are missing.” Jesper said, resting his hand on his fist in thought. 

“A hat,” said a voice from behind us. 

We all turned to see Kaz making his way up to us. He headed straight to the snowman, taking off his black hat to place it on top of its head. He then backed up, finding a place beside me. I smiled at the snowman, even though it was way too large and slightly disproportionate. I then looked over at Kaz, finding him already looking at me.

“Do we name him?” Inej asked, looking at me.

I turned to her and shrugged, looking around at the rest of the crows before looking at Inej, “I suppose we could.”

“My vote is for Fredrick,” Jesper said with a finger in the air. 

“We are not naming him Fredrick,” Wylan said, giving Jesper a look of disgust. 

“What about Douglass?” Nina said, raising an eyebrow at all of us. 

“Absolutely not,” I laughed. 

“Can we not just call it snow-man?” Matthias asked, eyebrows furrowed. 

“That is the worst one yet,” Nina said, looking at Matthias with mock disappointment. 

“What about Jack?” Inej said quietly, looking around for reactions to the name. 

The group seemed to stop, all looking at the snowman in the middle. 

“Jack,” Wylan said, nodding.

“I like it!” Nina smiled, looking at Inej.

“Jack is nice,” I said, nodding in agreement. 

“Fine, Jack Fredrick it is!” Jesper said, standing straighter with a grin on his face. 

The group quickly fell into chaos, with Inej shaking her head and laughing, Wylan shouting no at Jesper and hitting him on the arm. Nina also shouted no at Jesper, putting her head in her hands. Matthias simply laughed and wrapped his arm around Nina. 

I couldn’t help but laugh before looking back at our snowy creation. The sight of Kaz’s black hat sitting crooked on the head of the snowman reminded me of the way Kaz wears his hat. As I was admiring the snowman, I began to rub my hands together for warmth. 

“You shouldn’t have given up your gloves for a snowman,” Kaz said from beside me. 

I look over at him, taking in the raise of his eyebrows and the dark brown of his irises, “It wouldn’t look right without them.” 

Kaz let out a light scoff, the smallest smile on the corner of his lips, and looked away from me to another area in the yard. I turned back to the snowman, hearing the conversation of the group but not really listening. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kaz reach into his pocket and hold something out to me. I turned back to him, finding a black pair of gloves sitting in his hands. It looked to be the old ones that he ended up retiring for the new pair I got for him. 

I couldn’t help the smile that came to my face as I carefully took the gloves from him, “Thank you.”

Kaz held eye contact with me, “You need those hands to help pick locks and fight. Can’t have you losing them to the cold now, can I?” 

I raised my eyebrow in amusement before sliding the gloves onto my hands. The leather was warm from where they had been resting against Kaz’s body. They were also slightly big. I smiled and held my now gloved hands against my chest, but underneath my neck, resting my chin on top of them. I could feel a light blush dusting my cheeks, hoping that if anyone noticed, they would attribute it to the cold. 

Just as I began to turn to Kaz to say thank you again, a snowball hit me on the side. I gasped as my head shot to where it came from, realising that Wylan had thrown a snowball at me. I then noticed the full-on snowball war taking place just behind Wylan. I giggled before leaning down and making my own ammunition, before beginning to chase Wylan. 

Nina and Matthias had built a small snow wall that they were hiding behind while throwing snowballs. Inej was dodging every snowball thrown her way while tossing the others that she was holding at Jesper. I quickly made a few snowballs and ran up behind Matthias and Nina, throwing a snowball at each of their backs. 

I heard a loud gasp from Nina and a hearty laugh from Matthias before running away, knowing that being hit with a snowball from Matthias would likely hurt. Wylan and I met again in the middle of the yard. He gave me a small smirk before launching a snowball my way. I threw my last one at him in return before feeling the snow land on top of my head. I scrunched my face up from the cold feeling and laughed. 

I could hear Wylan's giggles before he ran away, likely to go throw more at Jesper. I smiled, catching my breath from all the running and stepping away from the snowball fight and back towards the safe zone by the snowman. 

I heard the crunch of snow from behind me, and I looked over my shoulder to find Kaz approaching me. He leaned on his cane silently, an amused look on his face at the scene happening before him. 

“I can’t believe this is what you all decided to do with your day off,” Kaz said. 

I looked over at him with a smile, “You all? You’re out here with us last time I checked.” 

He gave me a small smirk, “I have to be out here to make sure you don’t kill each other in a snow war.” 

I giggled, “Right. Are you sure it's not because you secretly like being in on all the fun?” 

Kaz continued to smirk, furrowing his brows, “Definitely not.” 

I smiled at him before looking up at the sky, taking in the view of the birds flying from branch to branch. I began absentmindedly rubbing my hands over the top of my head, still feeling the snow from earlier stuck in my hair. 

Kaz had turned his body towards me, leaning only one hand on his cane instead of both. “You have some still, just there,” He pointed. 

I turned towards him as well, “Do I?” I began to run my fingers over the spot he was pointing to that I couldn’t see. 

Kaz raised his hand, “Here, let me.” 

He raised his gloved hands up to my hair slowly. I could see a slight shake to them before they left my line of sight. I couldn’t help but look up at Kaz, admiring the way his skin seemed to have a certain glow because of the brightness of the snow around him. I felt his gloves reach a piece of my hair, seeming to catch some snow between his fingertips and slide it out of my hair. He then moved to another piece, doing the same to that one. 

Then, his eyes moved down to meet mine, which were already staring up at him. I felt heat rush to my cheeks at being caught staring, but I couldn’t get myself to look away. Not breaking eye contact, he moved his fingertips through one last piece of hair, bringing it down all the way to the ends of it. He didn’t let go once he got to the end, however. He held the tendril of hair between his fingers and seemed to fiddle with it for a second. He slowly dropped his hand, bringing it to rest at his side. We still stood, staring at each other for a few moments. 

We were broken out of our trance by the sound of the group coming up. All of them were covered in snow and had red faces. 

Nina was leaning against Matthias as they walked, “I need some waffles.” 

“I think I need a nap,” Jesper said, holding Wylan’s hand as they walked up as well. 

“I had fun!” Inej exclaimed, a big smile on her face. 

I smiled at the group, “Would you all like some hot chocolate?” 

“Yes!” Nina said, exasperated.

“That sounds so good right now,” Wylan stated, leaning his head back in bliss at the thought of the chocolatey drink. 

“I could go for some hot chocolate,” Jesper shrugged, smirking. 

I smiled before turning to follow the group inside, feeling Kaz fall into step beside me. 

“Would you like some, Kaz?” I asked, looking over at him. 

Kaz seemed to come back from wherever his mind had wandered to, “No, thank you. I have work to do.” 

I let out a small huff of amusement, “Your work is never done, is it, Brekker?” 

He gave me a mischievous eyebrow, “Never.”

Once we all got through the door to the slat, boots were kicked off, coats were left on the floor, mittens and scarves were left beside the coats, and snow covered the floor. Kaz stepped over the items carefully, heading towards the stairs as the rest of the crows began to drape themselves over the sofas and chairs. The heat of the fire welcomed after the harshness of the cold. 

I watched as Kaz disappeared up the stairs, before looking around at the crows. I spotted Inej, who was sitting in a chair by the fire, knees tucked up against her and a small content smile on her face as she watched the flames. 

I felt a warmth in my heart as a smile overtook my face. I stepped into the kitchen to start on the waffles and hot chocolate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you all enjoyed! I got this idea over the duration of the winter storm that has since passed. I was thinking about making a part two to this story if it does well.

Take care of yourselves and talk soon.

-CC 🖤

[cruddy-crow]

Thank you!

Just wanted to hop on real fast and say thank you for all the love on my Kaz Brekker fic. I never expected it to reach anyone, so the fact that you all are reading it and interacting with it means so much.

That being said, I do have a few things in the works. I am currently writing the third chapter of a Kaz Brekker x Reader series. I am hoping to have at least five chapters written and edited before posting them.

I am also working on ideas for a few Michael Afton x Reader fics, as well as some Stranger Things fics. I'm not sure when any of this will be posted, but trust that they are all in the works.

Talk soon.

-CC 🖤

[shizurek-deactivated20260520]

the worst siblings ever 💜

[missmemorielle]

when i saw this shot i also immediately knew i had to draw this scene as well! <3 (it's a big drawing so zoom in for details <: )

[frozenfrogz]

He got her the thing she wanted most in life even though that ment they would be apart.

[celestialwrites]

not so subtle "i love you" romance dialogue + prompts

@celestialwrites for more!!

♡ "your favourite colour is blue. not a bright blue, but a light one, a blue like the ocean waves just off the shore of your favourite beach."

♡ character waking up early every single morning so they can get coffee from their “friend's” favourite coffee shop for them.

♡ "how did you know that?" "you mentioned it once." "and you remembered?"

♡ when character A's ex dumps them, their favourite flowers show up the next day, freshly picked and without a note. character B hides the cuts the flower's thorns gave them.

♡ "i'll drive you home, you're on my way." "i thought you lived across the city...you know, in the opposite direction?"

♡ writing down all the little details their s/o mentions so they will never forget what makes them smile.

♡ "you speak (character A’s native language)?" "a little, i just learned."

♡ "i waited." "for what?" "you."

♡ character A, who cannot stand anyone, made a special ring tone for character B so they'd never miss a call.

♡ "if you were mine, i would never make you feel unwanted, not even for a second."

♡ character A gave character B a nickname years ago, and just recently character B realizes that character A has a tattoo that is symbolic of that nickname.

♡ “some people are not meant to be just friends.”

♡ “he hates me!” “he has spent the last two years going out of his way to get under your skin, to get your attention.”

REBLOG TO SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL WRITERS!!<3

apologies for the accidental hiatus<3

[irlplasticlamb]

the son and heir of nothing in particular.

prints + merch + c0mm1ss1on info pinned to profile :D

[erwi-tv]

Me when learning how to draw an oil rig

[fishybone]

Guys, I love Still Wakes The Deep. I finished playing it yesterday and hopefully I can make some drawings out of it. For now, have this little thing I made

[frozenfrogz]

Dare I say the best casting Netflix has ever done.

[cruddy-crow]

I miss them dearly.

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

He cant lose her again

[cruddy-crow]

Jealousy? Jealousy.

Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: Reader and Jesper are having some troubles with jealousy. Wylan and Jesper talk and find peace. But will reader and Kaz do the same?

warnings: Some use of Y/N, some non-canon Kaz (He lets reader hold his hand with some forehead touching), Angst, fluff, drinking, some swearing, hurt/comfort. Please let me know if I forgot anything.

Word Count: 4k words (I got carried away).

Gif not mine! Credit to @mrsbrekkers!

It was a typical night at the Crow Club. Drunken people everywhere, a local band playing overly loud music, people gambling at every corner, and Jesper was being his usual self. 

“I am just saying! I think that it is interesting that Wylan’s “friend” is showing up now, of all times!” Jesper exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, leaning back in his seat, looking exasperated. 

I frowned at him from across the table, arms crossed. “Jesper, I think you are just jealous,” I said to him. “Wylan hasn’t even done anything except talk to him and look over here at you. It is clear that you are the only one for him!” 

“Oh, bullshit!” Jesper spat, leaning even further down in his seat. “He’s just making sure I am still here, still trailing after him like a lost dog.” 

I sighed, “Jesper, you might as well be with how dejected you’re looking at him.” 

Jesper sighed and continued to very obviously observe Wylan and his friend at the bar. I took this opportunity to scan the club. As usual, the night was lively. People are drunk, dancing, laughing. I took a deep breath, knowing who I was looking for wouldn’t show his face until later in the evening. The night was still young for the bastard of the barrel to make an appearance.

I was ripped out of my search by a nagging voice, “Now who looks like a lost dog?” Jesper said. 

I turned my head to him quickly, my eyebrows furrowing, “Shut up, Jesper!” 

“Hey! I am just saying. Wipe that face off, it’s obvious that you’re looking for him.” Jesper smirked, straightening in his seat.

“And it’s obvious that you are just looking for a distraction because your boyfriend is making you jealous,” I replied, raising my eyebrow at Jesper from across the table.

“Fine! I think you should be a good friend and let me use you and your terrible taste in men as a distraction!” He said, smiling from across the table. 

“Terrible? You cannot be serious right now.” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. 

The table was silent for a beat before Jesper spoke up once again, “Listen, love. Boss is definitely not the worst choice, but he’s definitely not the best. I just don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Jesper said, leaning his arms on the table and talking lower than before. 

I gave Jesper a small smile before looking down at my lap. “Thanks, Jes. But I can take care of myself.” 

“I know you can, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still look out for you.” He said, raising both of his eyebrows and smiling. 

I smiled at him before taking another look around the crowded club, looking across the aisle and seeing that Wylan and his friend were no longer at the bar. 

Jesper must have seen the confusion on my face, because he then turned in his seat to look at the place where his boyfriend and his friend once sat. 

“No. Fucking. Way.” Jesper spoke. Anger is beginning to take over his face. 

“Wait! Maybe they are just playing at one of the tables somewhere, or maybe they’re dancing!” I said, quickly trying to calm the sharpshooter down. 

“Dancing? That is supposed to make me feel better? Knowing that my boyfriend and his brand new best friend are out on the floor, dancing?” He said, looking at me from across the table in annoyance. 

“Okay, never mind. Maybe that isn’t better.” I said, giving Jesper a small, strained smile.

“I am going to find that boyfriend stealing cow and show him what kind of sharpshooter I really am,” Jesper said, downing the rest of his drink and getting up.

“Wait, Jesper, maybe that isn’t such a good idea-” I said, putting my hands on the table and calling after him as he stalks away. 

“He’s going to kill him,” I say quietly, looking into the crowd that Jesper stormed into.

Just then, I hear a sharp voice behind me, “Kill who, exactly?” 

I couldn’t help but straighten my posture at the sound of it, “Wylan’s friend from today. Jesper thinks they are flirting with each other. He’s jealous.” I say, not looking back. 

“If he does decide to kill him, he'd better make sure it’s not on the wooden floors.” He says before coming to stand beside where I am sitting. 

“I’m not sure he cares about anything at the moment,” I said honestly, finally turning my head to look up at the owner of the voice. 

As I turned my head, there stood none other than Kaz Brekker. Owner of the Crow Club, leader of a small gang of misfits, and bastard of the barrel himself. He stood tall, wearing all black except for his decorated waistcoat and silver chain; his hair was slicked back as usual. He was sans his usual black coat and leaned against his cane. His expression was neutral as he stared out into the crowd. 

Before I could admire him more, he looked down at me. Our eyes met, and I could feel the shiver make its way up my spine, but I refused to show it. His eyes softened, making their way around my being. It felt like a once-over, making sure everything was as it was supposed to be.  

His eyes met mine again, and he took a breath as if he was about to say something when someone began to call for him.

“Boss! Boss!” Roddy, one of the bartenders, called as he walked over to the table quickly. “There’s a lady here, says’ she’s got business with ya!” He explains, giving me a nod of acknowledgement. 

I couldn’t help the pang of my own jealousy hitting me somewhere between my ribs. I turned my head to look at Kaz, feeling like I was watching the cogs turn in his head. 

Kaz let out a small breath, “Right, thank you, Roddy.” 

Roddy nods, turning away to go back to the bar. Kaz stood up straighter, turning towards me once again. 

“Will you come by my office tonight before you go?” he asks, eyes searching mine once again. 

I blink a moment before answering, “Of course, what for?”

He goes to answer, but once again he is cut off, this time by a woman. A beautiful woman. 

As she walked over, it felt as though I was seeing something out of a book I’d read once. Her hair was long and blonde, curled tightly as it rested along her waist. She was wearing a long, full skirt that was a dusty pink and was decorated with black ribbons. She was wearing black gloves under her dainty silver bracelets. 

“Mr. Brekker! I told that bartender I was searching for you. Seems he didn’t get the message out.” She spoke, smiling up at him.

Kaz raised his eyebrows in response, taking a deep breath before seemingly steeling himself. “Hello, Ms. Clairemont.” He said to her, giving a slight nod of his head. 

I didn’t say anything, could only stare at this lady who looked like she was molded by the saints themselves, and Kaz, who looked like he was molded by saints, then deemed too perfect and was banished to Ketterdam. 

Ms. Clairemont stepped closer, leaning in slightly towards Kaz. “I know you’re a busy man, Mr. Brekker, but surely you know that you shouldn’t keep a lady waiting.” 

Kaz, once again, raised his eyebrows with a polite, barely there smile as a response, “My apologies, Ms. Clairemont.” 

I continued to look between the two from my seat at the booth, wishing nothing more than for Jesper to come back and save me. I dragged my eyes away and took a swig from my drink, which alerted Ms. Clairemont that there was indeed someone sitting next to this conversation. 

“Oh! Who’s this? A future barmaid?” She smiled, looking at me, then to Kaz with a quirked eyebrow. 

I furrowed my eyebrows slightly, looking up at her with a polite smile. “Something like that.”

I looked to Kaz, who hadn’t looked away from Ms. Clairemont after she spoke. He looked slightly annoyed, but professional. 

“Ms. Clairemont, perhaps we should attend to the business you are here to discuss in my office?” Kaz spoke sternly. 

Ms. Clairemont's smile didn’t waver, “Oh, of course! Please lead the way!” 

As the two of them began to walk away, she looked back at me, “Good luck on that barmaid job! Maybe I’ll see you around here soon!” She smiled and kept following behind Kaz. 

I stared after the two of them, making their way up the stairs, placing both hands on my drink to steady it. Once they were both out of sight, I took a deep breath and slammed my drink back.

I then decided that I could feel sorry for myself on a different night, and that I needed to find Jesper. As I dragged myself out of the booth, I made my way past the bar where I had originally seen him disappear to. I scanned the crowd while simultaneously dodging dancing drunks, perking up when I saw a flash of light from a corner of the club. I quickly began to make my way through the crowd. 

Finally, as I get to a corner of the club near the open floor for dancing, I see Jesper. A very angry-looking Jesper, speaking to a very concerned-looking Wylan. I notice that Wylan’s friend is no longer with them, so I began to look around for him, seeing as I was not confident in breaking up the spat between Jes and Wylan. 

I spot the guy leaning against the wall, watching the performance of the band on stage. He doesn’t look too scared, which is a good sign that Jesper hadn’t fully threatened him. 

As I am observing him, Wylan passes me and starts heading towards his friend again. 

“Where the hell have you been?” I hear Jesper say behind me. 

I turn to him, “What? How is this my fault?” I say, looking up at him in frustration. 

“You were supposed to follow me, maybe keep me from threatening him and saving me from making Wylan mad!” He exclaims, putting his hands on his hips. 

“It is not my job, nor my responsibility, to keep you from both threatening someone and making your boyfriend mad. I think those are both problems you’re supposed to deal with.” I say, slightly smiling up at the sharpshooter. 

Jesper quirks his eyebrow at me, “Fine, I guess. It doesn’t matter anyway because Wylan agreed to say goodbye to that sorry excuse for a man and spend the rest of the night with me!” He smiles. 

I couldn’t help but shake my head and sigh, “Jesper, you really need to learn how to control your jealousy.” 

“He really does,” said a voice from over my shoulder. 

Wylan then comes around to stand beside me, hands in his coat pockets, and gives Jesper a look of amusement.

Jesper’s mouth falls open in mock disbelief, “Not both of you! You guys are unbelievably mean to me.” 

I smirked at him, looking at Wylan before saying, “I think we need to be meaner if anything.”

Jesper gasped, and Wylan laughed, “I agree!” He then smiled up at Jesper, eyes twinkling in the low light of the Crow Club. 

I smiled as I admired the love that the two boys have for each other. Hoping that one day, maybe I could achieve the same. Suddenly, Jesper's brows furrow. 

“Who is that?” He asks with a look of pure confusion. 

I look at him, confused, before turning to see what he is staring at. Across the way stands Ms. Clairemont, talking animatedly and standing directly beside Kaz. She’s standing close, closer than Kaz would let any normal person stand to him. 

My face melted into something more sorrowful before I caught it and slipped back on a neutral look. I watched Kaz turn his body more towards her before saying something with a small raise of his brow, the same look he’d given me a dozen times. 

I turned back to Jesper and Wylan, only to find them already staring at me. They both looked at me with pity. I took a breath before answering Jesper’s original question from earlier, “Her name is Ms. Clairemont. I have no clue why she is here or what she does. I do know that she thinks Kaz was trying to recruit me as a barmaid.” I tell them bitterly. 

Wylan, of course, opened his mouth in shock. Jesper looked angry again as he stared past me and at Ms. Clairemont and Kaz. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway, nothing was going to come from Kaz and me anyway,” I say, looking down at my shoes for a second before looking back up. 

“You said it yourself, Jes. It’s not worth the hurt.” I say, shrugging my shoulders. 

“Hey,” he says softly, placing a hand on my shoulder, “Just because he isn’t my number one choice doesn’t mean you should give up on the thing entirely. Everyone sees the way he looks at you, the way he treats you differently compared to the rest of us. He’s just not great at doing the whole affection thing.” Jesper says, giving me an honest look. 

“I hate to say it, but I agree with Jesper. It’s clear he likes you, even if it is just a little bit. You should just take it slow and see where it goes! We all know Kaz isn’t one for grand gestures.” Wylan says to me with a smile. 

I let their words sink in and smile. “I guess. But what about Ms. Clairemont? He’s never let anyone else stand that close except us.” I say, glancing back at the railing where they stood. 

As I glanced back at them. Kaz was already staring at me. Still wearing a neutral look on his face, but his eyebrows were furrowed. His eyes drifted away from me and scanned across Wylan and Jesper. I followed his eyes until they eventually landed back on me, his face softening ever so slightly. 

Just then, Ms. Clairemont placed her hand on Kaz’s arm, tilting her head back with a laugh. I watched as an uncomfortable expression appeared on Kaz’s face as he discreetly pulled his arm away and turned towards the woman. If it were any other person, they’d be dead. I had seen enough, turning back towards Jesper and Wylan, realizing they had seen the same thing as me. 

“There is no way she just did that,” Wylan said, deadpan. 

“How is she not dead?” Jesper said, looking between Wylan and I. 

“Maybe he likes her,” I said, not really phrasing it as a question, but as a statement. 

“Y/N-” Jesper started, but I cut him off.

“Jes! Look at her. I mean, come on, really look at her. She’s gorgeous! She belongs in paintings and book pages. Why would anyone choose me over her?” I said, looking at him with complete seriousness. I continue, “It doesn’t matter anyway, I’m just here to do my job and get paid.”

I don’t stick around to hear what Jesper and Wylan say. I turn around, sparing a glance over at Kaz and Ms. Clairemont. She looks as though her spirits were toned down, but still hopeful. She has her hands resting in front of her, looking at Kaz through her eyelashes. Kaz towers above her, but I can’t see his expression. I don’t seem to care anyway. I pry my eyes away from the scene, making my way back up to the bar area. I make a beeline straight for the doors, yearning for the smoggy Ketterdam air. 

I push through the doors and the groups of people making their way in and out of the bar. Heading towards the alleyway beside the club. I stand at the corner, close enough that I can still see the door, but I am hidden in the shadows of the alleyway. I lean my head back against the bricks, taking a deep breath before thinking about how I got in this situation anyway. 

I hear a carriage pull up to the front of the club. I can see that it is an expensive black looking one with white horses to pull it along as I peek around the corner. I’m studying the details of it when I hear the rushed tap of a cane hitting the brick ground. I spot Kaz, making his way to the door of the carriage and opening it hastily. 

“Mr. Brekker, I really didn’t mean any harm. I just-” Ms. Clairemont says, still standing a few paces away from the carriage and Kaz. 

“Just what, Ms. Clairemont? You just wanted to see how close you could get to me to learn my plans? So you could go tell Pekka Rollins?” Kaz said, anger evident in his face and tone. 

“No! I mean, yes! But I swear, I do actually think you’re very handsome; I meant that part!” Ms. Clairemont said, brows furrowing in worry. 

“Do you think I was actually interested in you? Unfortunately for you, Ms. Clairemont, I already have that part covered by someone much more competent. Now, please, get into your carriage and never come back to my club.” Kaz said, still holding the door open. 

Ms. Clairemont didn’t say anything, just sniffled and got into her carriage. Kaz slammed the door shut, stepping back to watch it barrel down the streets. I couldn’t help but feel bad for the girl, knowing I would end up like her, seeing as Kaz already has someone filling that spot in his life. I leaned back against the brick wall before anyone spotted me, especially Kaz. 

“Saints, boss. I think you broke that girl's heart!” I hear Jesper say. 

“Jesper!” I hear Wylan hiss at him.

“I’m just saying! She was really into you!” Jesper spoke.

“Shut it, Jesper! I am not in the mood.” Kaz said sharply. I hear his cane tapping as he gets closer to the doors of the bar. I listen closely as he speaks again, this time a little quieter than before, “Where is she?” 

“I don’t know, she walked out after spotting Ms. Clairemont’s little show,” Jesper said, obviously being snarky towards Kaz. 

“Is it possible she went back to the slat?” I hear Wylan ask.

“Perhaps. She and I were supposed to have a meeting tonight before she left.” Kaz said. “Have someone check the slat, make sure she’s safe wherever she is.” Kaz demanded before adding, “Tell her that I would still like to have that meeting.” I hear his cane tap as he makes his way through the doors of the bar. 

“Saints, Ms. Clairemont really soured his mood.” Jesper joked. 

“Yeah, I don’t think she made Y/N’s night any better either,” Wylan said. 

“We should go check the slat, see if we can at least locate her,” Jesper said. 

I decided I should reveal myself, just so that they don’t have to go all the way to the slat to find me. 

“You don’t have to go to the slat,” I said, rounding the corner of the building. 

Wylan jumped and held a hand to his chest, and Jesper’s brows shot up.

“Love! We were just looking for you!” Jesper exclaimed.

“I know. I heard.” I said, looking around at the people lining the streets. 

“Y/N, I know you don’t want to, but I think you should go see Kaz. Not only because he wants that meeting done, but he seemed worried about you.” Wylan said softly, coming closer to rest his hand against my arm caringly. 

“I think you’re right, Wylan, I’m going to head up now,” I said, giving him a small smile.

“Do you want us to wait for you before heading back to the slat?” Jesper asked.

I hesitated, taking a deep breath before telling him, “No, you guys go ahead, I’ll catch up.” 

“Aye Aye, Captain!” Said Jesper with a salute. He then patted my arm before grabbing Wylan’s hand and making their way through town. 

I watched them disappear before heading back into the club. I took in my surroundings as I walked through the door before heading towards the stairs that led to Kaz’s office. I tried to calm myself down as I made my way up the steps, telling myself that this would be like any other business meeting we’ve had. We’d go over plans for a new heist, he would ask my opinion on what should be changed, he’d ask me my thoughts on who should do what, and then we’d be done. 

I should’ve known that wouldn’t be the case. 

I made my way to Kaz’s door, knocking once. A signal all the crows use to communicate. 

“Enter.” I hear Kaz say angrily. 

I pushed the door open and stood quietly in the entrance as it closed behind me. 

Kaz didn’t look up from the paper he was studying on his desk as he asked, “Did you locate her?” 

“I’d sure hope so, seeing as I am her.” I joked quietly. 

Caught off guard, Kaz’s head shot up to look at me, still standing by the door. He set the paper down that he was looking at and looked me over. Nodding once at the space across from his desk. I walked over quietly, standing directly in front of his desk, looking down at the papers littered all over. 

“Where did you go?” Kaz asked, quiet yet stern. 

“Just outside the bar, I saw the show with Ms. Clairemont if that’s what you are wondering,” I said to him with a small smile. 

Kaz looked at me seriously, no trace of amusement or joking. “She was a rat.” He said. 

“She was in love with you,” I stated simply. I gave him a small quirk of my eyebrow. 

“Too bad I don’t find anything about her attractive. Plus, that spot is already taken.” Kaz said sharply. Still looking at me, leaning on the desk. 

“Is it?” I asked quietly, dragging my eyes away from him, pretending to be interested in a nearby paper. 

“Y/N.” Kaz spoke.

“Hm?” I hummed, still not reaching his eyes.

“Look at me.” He ordered. 

I felt my heartbeat pick up in my chest, swallowing as I forced myself to meet his eyes.

“It’s you,” He pauses. “Always has been.” 

Kaz’s eyes soften before he limps around the desk, standing before me on the other side.

He looks down at the ground before meeting my eyes. 

“I- I know that I am not the best choice. I have issues, plenty of them. I am a broken, dirty bastard that can’t handle the thought of touch,” he said, staring at me from above. 

“But, I can’t let the thought of you go. You’re all I think about. Day and Night. I get nothing done because of you. And the thought of you being hurt because of Ms. Clairemont was jarring.” He said softly. 

He looked down as he brought his gloved hand up to mine, which was resting at my side. He reached softly for me, and I let him. I kept my hand delicately placed inside his gloved one. Bringing it up to rest between us. 

“Kaz. I don’t know what to say.” I spoke, staring up at him.

“Just say that you feel the same. That you want this with me.” Kaz whispered. 

“I do. I want this. I want you, Kaz.” I said, bringing my other hand up to join our hands. 

Kaz let out a breath before cradling both of my hands between his. He leaned down to rest his forehead on them before leaning back up. 

“It won’t be easy. And if you decide you don’t want this, me, anymore. That’s okay. I understand.” Kaz said, brows furrowing. 

“I won’t,” I said sternly. Lightly squeezing his hand. “We’re in this together.” 

[celestialwrites]

jealousy dialogue + prompts<3

@celestialwrites for more!!

♡ “who is he?” “just an old friend.” “friend? does he know that?”

♡ “are you jealous?” “jealousy is an egregious and shallow emotion for weak minded individuals.” “oh, you are jealous!"

♡ “jealous does not begin to describe the gravity of my emotions.”

♡ character A running up to an old friend and pulling them into a hug, while the colour drains from character B’s face.

♡ “jealousy doesn’t suit you, (nickname)” “have you seen me? everything suits me.”

♡ “i have nothing to envy, you looked completely disinterested with her, no spark in your eyes as you looked at her.” “how would you know what that looks like?” “because you used to look at me like that.”

♡ character A dances with character B’s nemesis unknowingly.

or

♡ character A purposefully dances with character B’s nemesis to get a reaction from character B’s sullen and stoic self.

♡ “it should not take seeing me with another man to realize you want me.” “i have always wanted you. but it has never mattered what i wanted, it is what you want. what do you want?"

♡ “you look rough.” a perfect description of the character who just watched the love of their life go on a date with someone else.

♡ “the two of you looked cute, you're always welcome to find me when you realize you’re not one for settling.”

♡ “so you don’t love him?” “no, i love him because he is my friend but i’m not in love with him.” “i don’t follow.”

REBLOG TO SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL WRITERS!!<3

[seaphine]

funny how you can lose everything and still be expected to show up like nothing’s missing.

[silent-insanities]

I just want to hear your voice.

[cruddy-crow]

New Blog

New blog! Happy to say that my old one IS still active, and I do plan to use it. However, this one will be used more for what Tumblr was intended.

I am incredibly ready to reblog, create, and follow as much as I humanly can. So prepare yourselves.

Oh, also, at some point, I would love to take requests for fics.

-CC 🐦‍⬛

[nevergraciee]

kaz being unable to fathom fathers disliking their children is so funny to me. this man has literally ended people’s lives, but his father was good, jesper’s father is good, inej’s father is good, and even pekka rollins is a good father, so surely wylan was being dramatic? kaz was so sure fathers had to love their kids that he bet on it (and lost! because jan van eck truly did despise wylan, and kaz was blown away)

[raincitygirl76]

Yes! In Kaz’s experience up until meeting the Van Eck family, sometimes fathers die or get kidnapped when their kids are young. But they don’t despise their kids and throw them away. Not in Kaz’s experience or that of the rest of the Crows.

Kaz and the other Crows have absolutely been victimized by adult men when they were children, but they were always unrelated adult men. And even Pekka Rollins, who is an absolutely dangerous mob boss who would happily kill all the Crows, adores his own child. Kaz uses Pekka’s weakness for his son to triumph over him. Because Kaz realizes that kid is the only thing in the world Pekka is sentimental about.

And then finally Kaz meets Wylan Van Eck and his piece of shit father Jan. And Kaz realizes that he, the ultimate cynic, wasn’t cynical enough. Because Jan not only isn’t sentimental about his only child, he actively loathes Wylan.

Wylan’s severe dyslexia makes Jan contemptuous of him, because it suggests that he, Jan, managed to father a child who is imperfect. And Jan’s rage at his son’s flaws means he can’t see how brilliant Wylan is. All the ways he compensates for his dyslexia in order to function in a world that isn’t built for people who can’t read.

Wylan is a goddamn highly efficient demolitions expert (who still has all his fingers) because he memorized all the chemistry textbooks his tutors read out to him as a child. Jan can’t see past Wylan’s disability, and it enrages him that Wylan exists in his imperfect state.

Wylan is a living reminder to Jan that something flawed was produced by his own body. Even though Wylan has a fearsome intellect. And frankly, it’s just as well he is dyslexic. If he didn’t have some stumbling block, he’d very likely have conquered the entire world before the age of 20. But Jan can’t see it.

Kaz’s mind is blown by the realization that fathers can be shitty to their kids on purpose! Not just by dying young or getting kidnapped by people smugglers. They can actually just plain not like their kids and even put them in harm’s way.

It’s actually kind of amazing that Kaz made it to his big age without realizing before that some fathers don’t love their kids. But he’d never met Jan Van Eck before.