CRUELTY.

or    𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦    you    don't    have    𝐚𝐧𝐲    𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚.    [    .    .    .    ]    could    that    be    𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲  ?    could    a    person    be    𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝    𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔  ?

[crueltaesa]

monty has moved to @crueltaes bryce has moved to @theirguilt

I WANT TO KEEP ALL THREADS, SO PLEASE CONTINUE REPLYING

[crueltaesa]

me, any time i write anything as monty: i fuckin hate this guy who let him say that

[crueltaesa]

Montys not academic smart but you gotta admit he's pretty smart/cunning when it comes to other things

[crueltaesa]

i have been encouraged,,,,, an actual proper monty blog will come ur way soon

[crueltaesa]

i am fighting the urge to give monty his own proper full blog

[valtsv]

[crueltaesa]

Montys face when clay asks if its bryces blood on the baton thing,,,, actually broke my heart

[idontusethisblogthanks-deactiva]

You‘re annoying

I’m hot as fuck so it doesn’t even matter

[crueltaesa]

“𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟?”

@reliaeble / something’s wrong prompts.

despite the experience he has,   monty never tends to think through EXCUSES for the injuries he gets.   people just assume he got into a fight,   a reasonable assumption considering how often he does get into fights.   questions being asked is never ideal,   searching for a way out of the situation always first instinct.   but that’s not so EASY when it’s someone on the team.   not so easy when he can’t just avoid scott until he forgets about it.    ❛  dude,   you’ve seen me drunk.  ❜   said with a scoff,   as if that explains everything.   as if they’re the kind of bruises you get while drunkenly stumbling around.

[crueltaesa]

“𝐘𝐞𝐩, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐇𝐨𝐰’𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?”

@reliaeble / somethings wrong sentence starters.

injuries are nothing new,   the boy long trapped in a life of misery & pain.   life at home had never been simple,   but a broken bone was the next level,   was something he hadn’t dealt with in a long time.   every movement is paired with a grunt of PAIN,   though there’s an attempt to hide it.   sure,   he could trust scott,   but that didn’t change the intense desire to hide his pain.   bryce is the only person who really knows the extent of his home life,   & even that was only by chance.   opening up,   admitting to things,   that wasn’t something monty did.   VULNERABILITY,   even with the people he cares about most,   was near impossible.   a broken arm is entirely the last thing he needed;   beyond having to come up with an excuse,   there was the issue of baseball.   he can’t play with a broken arm,   can’t be a useful member of the team like this.   his entire future hangs in the balance,   anything he can get from sports being his only shot at college,   & so quickly it’s all come tumbling down.   perhaps worse is that monty knows he’s going to have to deal with the consequences when he next goes home.   his father’s the one that broke his arm,   his father’s the reason he can’t play sports,   HIS FATHER is the one to blame for all of this,   & yet he’d lash out the moment monty got home.   as if it was monty’s fault,   as if his entire future had been put at risk because of his own actions & not because of a shitty parent.   shrug is given,   quickly followed by a groan of pain.    ❛  ’s NOTHING,   you know how it is.  ❜   a shitty response,   considering scott clearly has no idea.   there’s a slight sniffle,   hand of non-broken arm raising to wipe at his face.   vulnerability is monty’s worst enemy,   but it seems he’s got no escape from it.    ❛  you— you really think it’s BROKEN?  ❜   there’s a slight quiver in his voice,   the slightest sign of fear.   he hates it,   more than anything,   & if it was anyone other than scott he’d let the fear come out as anger.   but he can’t do that to scott.   the team is his family,   & scott’s a part of that.

[crueltaesa]

Monty finding out that bryce is dead through the loudspeaker at school is actually really sad

[needsmorememes]

‘Something's Wrong’ Sentence Starters

Something’s Wrong With My Muse

“Oh, God, you’re bleeding. You’re bleeding a lot.”

“Stop squirming, I’m trying to help.”

“Hang on, I got you.”

“Just lean on me, I’ll help you walk.”

“We should get that looked at.”

“Don’t tilt your head back, you’ll make your nosebleed worse!”

“Just sit up and breathe, ok?”

“Eh, you’ll be fine. I think. Maybe.”

“Whatever you do, don’t go to sleep. Stay awake.”

“Oooooo. That looks painful.”

“Oh, thank God! Don’t scare me like that!”

“How the hell did you do this to yourself?”

“Hey, hey, stay with me, ok?”

“You stopped breathing.”

“Oh look, it’s alive.”

“Take deep breaths, you’ll be fine.”

“Arms shouldn’t move like that…”

“What happened to your leg?!”

“Yep, that’s broken alright. How’d you manage that?”

“Here’s some ice for that.”

“You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Yeesh, you look like shit.”

“Wait, you were mugged?!”

“Is that a stab/gunshot wound?”

“Ok, ew. I’m not cleaning that up.”

“Easy, easy! Just lay down, you hit your head.”

“You probably have a concussion, so I wouldn’t be moving around too much if I were you.”

“I thought you were dead!”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does it hurt?”

“Can you walk on your own?”

“You’re getting blood on my clothes!”

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

Something’s Wrong With Your Muse

“Is that three fingers you’re holding up?”

“I’m so sorry for getting blood on your clothes!”

“I’m not sure I can walk on my own.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, my pain’s at least an 8.”

“You thought I was dead?”

“Do you think I have a concussion?”

“I hit my head; now I don’t feel so good.”

“I’m so sorry. Do you mind cleaning up?”

“I think I’ve been stabbed/shot.”

“I just got mugged!”

“Do I look as bad as I feel?”

“Could I maybe get an ice pack for this?”

“Thank you, by the way.”

“I think my leg is broken.”

“I can’t feel my arm.”

“I’m going to need more than deep breathing to calm me down.”

“I’m not dead yet!”

“Oh, God, I’m bleeding. I’m bleeding a lot.”

“Are you really trying to help?”

“Please help me.”

“Can I lean on you? I don’t think I can walk.”

“I think I need to get this looked at.”

“I can’t get my nose to stop bleeding!”

“I can’t seem to catch my breath.”

“I’ll be fine. I think. Maybe.”

“Please help me stay awake.”

“This hurts just as much as it looks like it does.”

“Sorry - did I scare you?”

“I don’t know how I managed to do this to myself.”

“I don’t know if I can stay awake.”

“I stopped breathing?”

Note: Revamp of an older sentence starter post found here.

[crueltaesa]

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐀.

𝐇𝐈𝐒          𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄          𝐈𝐒          𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆          ;          turning          mind          into          vapor          of          darkness          mixed          with          terror.          bird          in          his          head          always          in          flight          ,          starring          out          the          window          of          own          cortex          facing          thunder          pouring          down          porcelain          skin.          hands          trembling          ,          gathering          all          the          rage          growing          up          his          spine          [          𝐌𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐄          𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒          𝐀𝐑𝐄          𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓          ].          ❛          look          ,          𝖎’𝖒          𝖘𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖞          ,          okay          ?          ɪ’ᴍ          sᴏʀʀʏ          for          what          we          did          but          ━     ─           but          you          were          already          dead          &          ❜          his          voice          ,          a          never          ending          song          playing          on          repeat.          muscles          heating          ,          heart          sinks          ,          head          lost          in          the          sky          wrapped          in          𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗          of          the          ground          adorned          by          storming          fear          turning          from          paranoia          to          complete          insanity.          HE          ━      ─          A          CLOSED          BOOK          /          FLAWED          CODE          allowing          fear          to          take          whatever’s          left          of          beating          heart.         ❛          i          don’t          know          what          else          you          want.          so          please          ,          leave          me          the          fuck          alone.          ❜                      

𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐃          𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐒          𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇          𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘          𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒          ;          anger          more          manageable          in          death          but          certainly          not          entirely          erased.          there          would          be          no          violence          ,          no          action          ,          but          feelings          would          still          bubble          below          the          surface.          never          connecting          ,          never          released.          just          unresolved.          ❛          you’re          sorry.          ❜          it’s          surprising          to          hear          the          admission          ,          but          that          doesn’t          stop          the          scoff          that          escapes          alongside          words.          it          was          easy          for          him          to          be          sorry          after          the          fact          ,          sorry          now          that          he’s          [          LITERALLY          ]          haunted          by          it.          sorry          didn’t          change          things          ,          sorry          fixed          nothing.          ❛          you          don’t          know          what          i          want          ?          ❜          it          seems          obvious          through          monty’s          eyes          ,          but          all          things          considered          it          seemed          pretty          clear          that          clay          wasn’t          entirely          there          in          the          head.          ❛          tell          me          ,          clay.          if          you          had          died          &.          then          your          best          friend          -          let’s          say          𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑨𝑯  ━          ❜          a          low          blow          ,          but          that’s          what          he          does.          montgomery          de          la          cruz          has          never          fought          fair.          ❛          if          her          murder          was          pinned          on          you          &.          𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮          𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙙          𝙞𝙩          [          your          parents          ,          your          friends          ,          your          brand          new          brother          ]          ,          if          they          all          believed          that          you          𝙱𝙴𝙰𝚃          𝙷𝙴𝚁          𝚃𝙾          𝙰          𝙿𝚄𝙻𝙿          &.          left          her          to          drown          ,          what          do          you          think          you’d          𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙          ?          ❜

[crueltaesa]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄.

CLOSET  CASES  WERE  NOTHING  NEW,    not  for  winston  at  least.      sure,   he’d  tried  to  find  out  kids   so  he  didn’t   have  to  put  himself   through  this  again.      but  part  of  him  enjoyed  the  chase,    though   he’d  never  admit  it.      winston   was  the  first  to  admit  that  his  judge  of  character  was   anything  but  good.      but  he  couldn’t  help  how  he  was  beginning  to  feel  around  monty.           IT  WAS  DIFFERENT.      &    he’s   beginning  to  wonder  just  how  far  this  will  go.      monty  never  seems  like  the  feeling  type  to  winston.      not  when  they’re   together.       but  that  was  starting  to  change    &   winston  doesn’t  know  how  long   it’ll  last.      how  long  before  something  else  comes  along.      how  long  before  something  else   or  someone  else  gets  in  their   way    &   all  that  progress  is  ripped  back  away.       winsotn  has  seen  it  before.      experienced   it  first   hand.       but   he  cares   about  monty.     cares  about  what  happens  to  him.       ❛     are  you,    though  ?      you  can  talk  to  me,   you  know.    ❜        winston’s   good   at  keeping  secrets.    he’d  kept  plenty  of  his  own  over  the    years.          &   he  hadn’t   told   anyone  about  them   thus far,   either.        ❛     it  wasn’t  ?                 jesus.      where  ?    ❜        the  bruise   looks  painful,   despite  seeming  to  have  healed  a  bit.      &   winston’s  mind   considers  the  possibilities,     but  he’d  rather  monty  tell  him.

VULNERABILITY  IS  UNCOMFORTABLE.       he’s  not  used  to  this,   not  used  to  actually  being  honest  and  open.       it’s  terrifying.       harsh  exterior  had  always  been  strong,   had  always  been  the  best  defence  he  had,   but  it  was  dropping  more    &   more  with  every  day  they  spent  together.       with  winston,   monty’s  learning  that  he  can  be  more  open           at  least  in  certain  environments.       he  stands  by  the  idea  that  he  can’t  be  whoever  he  wants  to  be,   knows  there  are  harsh  consequences  to  that,   but  when  he’s  with  winston  he  can  at  least  pretend  that  he  can.       when  it’s  just  the  two  of  them    &   no  one  else  he  can  realise  that  he’s  not  who  he  thought  he  was,   almost  feeling  safe  enough  to  try  to  come  to  terms  with  it.       but  there’s  the  lingering  presence  of  his  fathers  anger,   heavy  on  his  shoulders  all  the  time.       fear  of  who  he  is,   fear  of  what  that  means.       maybe  one  day  he  could  accept  it,   but  not  while  under  his  fathers  roof.       not  when  this  was  the  life  he  had  to  live.        ❛     IT’S  NOTHING.    ❜        brushing  things  off,   especially  this,   was  natural.       he’d  faced  worse  than  a  bruise,   had  dealt  with  things  that  made  this  feel  like  nothing,      &   yet  there  was  a  tension  at  the  thought  of  telling  the  truth.       if  winston  were  to  truly  understand  why  monty  was  the  way  he  was  then  there  were  things  he  needed  to  know,   but  monty  didn’t  particularly  want  to  have  the  vulnerability  that  came  with  saying  it.       bryce  was  the  only  one  who  really  knew,    &   he  only  knew  because  he  was  close  enough  to  work  it  out  himself.       winston  would  never  get  close  enough  for  that,   monty  couldn’t  let  that  happen.        &   if  he  couldn’t  figure  it  out  on  his  own,  there  was  really  only  one  way  that  he  could  figure  it  out.        ❛     i  just...       i  pissed  off  my  dad.    ❜

[crueltaesa]

𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐘𝐒.

he’s sort of used to it by now,  the spiteful banter between brothers — a reason used to allow everything to slide & if this had been a conversation two years ago he might have snapped back with some malicious rejoinder to BRUISE monty’s ego & in return the other boy would attempt to fight until bryce or one of the bigger jocks in their inner circle would eventually step in to break it off.  justin wasn’t monty’s biggest fan in & out the field,  at parties they barley had words to exchange,  except when in competition over who could be the biggest dick but he always suspected that they were in a similar predicament.  as members of a team who by instinct fell in line,  he just never questioned anything or even gave it a second thought but now with the tables turned – the SIGNS were so much in his face & while he’d never make a direct claim,  throwing in the breadcrumbs ever now & then felt like guilt slowly being ripped away from his subconscious.   a scoff escapes his tongue,    ❛  look around dude,   we all got shit that isn’t handled.  ❜   fucking bryce made sure of that,  his former best friend did try & take the pain away with his own measures but it wasn’t the kind of remedy he needed & he knew that now. ❛ i know we don’t see eye-to-eye,   or don’t even have a reason to look at each other when we’re on the field but – i’d want to know what’s going on.  ❜    he tries to find words that aren’t so sentimental,  so quick to show an indication of empathy because he has none but it also wouldn’t be out of his way to show concern for a fellow teammate.  ❛ i’d want you to be okay,  monty. ❜

truth be told,  things would always be bad.  maybe one day he could escape his father,  but he wouldn’t do it without estela,  & he even if he managed to get away from him there was always the painful truth:  he can’t get away from himself.  monty’s not a total idiot,  despite popular belief.  he knows he’s done fucked up things,  it took no more than a look at tyler down to prove it.  but monty wasn’t gonna admit that,  not really,  not even to HIMSELF.  everything in his life had been violence,  it was his natural instinct.  & maybe he went too far there,  but with friends like bryce it wasn’t as if anyone would call him out on that.    ❛  my shit’s handled just fine.  ❜    oh,  that’s such bullshit.  it’s beyond obvious that he isn’t handling shit fine,  beyond obvious that his life’s a mess.  the team has ideas,  scott & bryce knew more than anyone,  but neither of them are around anymore.  no one within the halls of liberty high has any idea,  or if they have ideas they don’t know for sure,  & it was better that way.  sure,  it had been nice to have someone who knew a thing or two,  had been nice to know that there was someone that’d have his back & let him hide out when things got bad,  but could he ever believe that JUSTIN would want to be that?  he’s right,  they don’t see eye-to-eye,  they’re very different people,  & the last thing monty wants is pity.    ❛  it’s a few fuckin’ bruises,  man,  it’s not a big deal.  ❜    but still there’s something in the words that hit.  justin would want him to be okay.  it almost conjures some vulnerability,  but monty’s not one for being soft.  so even if his next words technically act as an admission,  he treats them as if it’s just a witty comeback.  as if the claims weren’t serious.    ❛  my dad’s an asshole,  ain’t like that’s news.  ❜

[crueltaesa]

𝐉𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐃.

ᴀsᴋ :    ‘ don’t look back, never look back ’,   @crueltaes / @theirguilt,  ᴍᴏɴᴛɢᴏᴍᴇʀʏ ᴅᴇ ʟᴀ ᴄʀᴜᴢ. 

fuck it.   that’s been his motto his entire life.    practically FROLIC through life as if he didn’t have a care in the world.   his answer a few years ago wouldn’t have needed this much pondering,   it’d be swift & confident that radiated with the WALKER NAME. & for a while that was enough,   the lavish excess,   the fucking parties & the ability to take who and what he wanted without facing real repercussions for all his misdeeds.  if bryce was to be truly honest with himself —  he didn’t think that he’d be so cautious now,  so afraid to tippy toe around everyone like they were BROKEN GLASS slowly rebuilding all their missing parts.  he was aware of feelings now,   how they were truly more than just getting wasted at some party with some careless thought in mind about who he was gonna screw over intentionally & physically.   he fucking hated it.     ❛  with the life i’ve led,  it’s kinda hard to see things that way. ❜    he’s not even startled by his own admission,   the words come out so carelessly,   to fucking monty of all people.  they were not the kind of people to express their philosophical point of views.   had no one so he’d take what he could get.

monty doesn’t have a lot in this life.    he has his team,  he has his sister,  he has bryce.    THAT’S ALL.    nothing else seems to work out for him.    his father’s an asshole,  his mother hasn’t done anything about it,  & he’d been basically flunking every class he had.    success was not something he’d ever truly tasted,  was not something he’d ever get the chance to taste.    the closest he got was bryce,  the lavish life he so easily lived.    monty had no idea why bryce had been so open to him,  had kept him around & helped him out despite everything.    as far as monty was concerned,  he was long past a LOST CAUSE.    but bryce didn’t see him like that,  or if he did,  he really didn’t act like it.     ❛  moping over that shit isn’t gonna help anything now.  ❜    monty knew first hand what it was like to do something bad without much consequence.    sure,  bryce had the trial,  hillcrest & his probation,  but that was hardly a consequence for what he’d done.    & really,  as far as monty was concerned,  it was all more punishment than he deserved.    his judgement,  though,  was undoubtedly CLOUDED.     ❛  looking back on shit is just gonna fuck with your head.  ❜

[yaradelacruz]

Yes, I’m sorry.