California Dreamin’ by The Mamas & The Papas except it’s playing from a box radio while you sit on the porch of a Yosemite Ranger Station in the very early morning. It’s summer. It’s 1979. And you love your job.

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@cryptidhelsing
California Dreamin’ by The Mamas & The Papas except it’s playing from a box radio while you sit on the porch of a Yosemite Ranger Station in the very early morning. It’s summer. It’s 1979. And you love your job.
i roll up to the club and everyone’s giger counter starts going wild
imagine being a ghost hunter in the 19th century. running around freezing cold spooky old mansions in tight pants and a puffy-sleeved white shirt, cloak streaming out behind you like enormous bat wings, knee-high boots clacking on the cracked marble floors and rotting hardwood staircases, candelabra in hand, high out of your mind because they just loved to put cocaine in absolutely everything, did those victorians. the dream.
Ryan: …you were high on DayQuil and sleep deprived and running on coffee. Shane: I was. I was having a blast. Ryan: You were out of your mind.
im full of rage and dangerously stupid but god is holding me back by the scruff of my neck like a kitten
The idea of ‘Feral Scientist’ is just so Fucking Funny to me, like ‘i just found this dude on the side of the road muttering about quantum physics is it rabid’ like thats just any scientist
The alphabetized files at my ranger station lead to some interesting mental pictures
Can someone calculate for me the volume of loch ness in liters so I can figure out how many humans you’d need to drink it
Ok I had to search a bit, but it’s apparently 7,448,160,000,000 liters? this is a problem, the upper limit of the average human stomach is just four liters, and even then that’s a very uncomfortable amount of water to have in there. Which means there aren’t enough humans on this planet to drink all of loch ness
what if they drank their fill and then peed it out somewhere where the liquid wouldn’t just run back into loch ness? Then they could go back and drink more the next morning. How many days would that take? Would we end up with a new loch made entirely of pee? Loch piss?
possibly, but thats not taking rainfall into account and the amount of water fed into it every day by the River Oich
The upper limit for the human stomach is about 4 liters. It takes the human body about 45 to 60 minutes to absorb/expel 1 liter of water (for the sake of this math problem just go with 60 (1 hour). An average person sleeps 8 hours. An average person spends about 3 hours eating (1 hour for each meal of the day) A day is 24 hours.
1 person alone: 572 billion days or all 7.3 billion people just 78.5 days, roughly. Assuming no one died of e coli or something.
this is good, but again, this doesn’t take rainfall or the river oich into account. It would have to be done during a dryer season in scottland and the river would need to be dammed.
There is no dryer season in Scotland though. It hasn’t stopped raining since Roman times.
You might need a second team of people to hold umbrellas over the drinking people.
the rain would still drip off the umbrellas and into the loch, this is gonna be a problem… someone calculate the annual rainfall over Scotland, can 7 billion people outdrink it?
The western Highlands, where Loch Ness is located, is one of the rainiest places in Europe, with a yearly average rainfall of 4,577 millimeters (12.54 millimeters a day). Loch Ness’ surface area is 56 square kilometers. If it rains 12.54 millimeters every day, then Loch Ness will gain 702,240 cubic meters (over 700 million liters) of water per day. Everyone will have to drink 0.1 extra liters of water to keep up.
that sounds doable! our goal is now clear
ok but why tho?
if you can think of a better way to find Nessie I’d love to hear it
this is so wild
*Zac’s serious, epic narrator voice*
We find no evidence of paranormal activity inside this mine, but we do find an absolutely adorable kittykitty
IM DEAD BECAUSE THIS WOULD FUCKING BE ME ON AN INVESTIGATION
i went to the dentist today and my dentist honest to god said “can i ask you a question…….what the hell is in your mouth”
it was in awe lmao
then the hygienist and assistant all came over to look too and they were like “wooooow” and my ass was sitting there like
oh my god i posted this and then went to work, and
story time
okay so to preface this, my hometown where i’m originally from is a really fucking weird place. like from the outside it seems like a normal suburban town, but once you’re there for awhile you get the feeling that’s something’s not…quite all together. a lot of people are really fucking weird there — so much so that that was a running joke in school growing up, that people in the town were just like that. everyone knew not to go out to the farm lands surrounding the town especially at night, we called it “the cuts” and people used to disappear out there all the time or get shot at by the especially weird people that would live out there. the news was and still is truly a thing of horror. every time i come back i’m regaled with even more stories of crazy shit that has happened there.
to put it in perspective we generally never had “normal crime” like robbery or anything like that when i lived there, though that did happen sometimes. the news stories were always like, “a kid was kidnapped by local residents and tortured in a house around the corner,” “a random person was chased down and shot for sport in a really nice neighborhood,” “someone was gored to death by a bull while out car shopping,” etc. (these are all real, btw). everyone does drugs and the whole town is located really close to a government site where they test nuclear weapons and chemicals and shit. this is how i grew up, in this bizarre environment.
i need to preface it this way so that you get that it’s weird. it’s a fucking weird place. i used to listen to the welcome to night vale podcast and make comparisons from it to my hometown, that’s how weird it is.
i only say this so you know that this town is where i got my orthodontics from.
all the kids in my town went to this one particular orthodontist. i also used to go to a dentist in town that a lot of people went to as well. i had a permanent retainer put on my bottom teeth after braces and no one had ever said anything to me about the model of retainer itself or it being weird type of retainer at all. i saw a ton of other people (mostly other kids that were my age at the time) that had the same type of retainer as me too so i never thought about it.
so i kept my retainer in — it’s never caused me problems and it keeps my teeth straight, why not?
however i went to a dentist for the first time in a metropolitan area now, and when he saw it in my mouth his literal first reaction was to say “uh can i ask you a question….what the hell is that”
LITERALLY the words that he said
which in hindsight makes almost too much sense. of course my town of all towns would put these weird unnecessary contraptions in kids’ mouths, and of course it happened so much that everyone just thought it was normal. that sounds exactly, to a T, like my hometown.
my permanent bottom retainer is apparently this prototype that is so rare that he’s literally never seen it before in his life, not in dental school, nowhere. it’s not that it’s an outdated type, it’s just rare as fuck. they were still staring at pictures of it on my chart in wonder when i left the office.
so just know somewhere out there, in a weird ass suburban town where they test nuclear weapons and a good portion of the residents go fucking nuts, there’s probably hundreds of people still walking around with this same contraption in their mouth that exists nowhere else in the world thinking, “yeah, that’s cool. that makes sense. let me go drink the definitely not-contaminated water now and never move away from here.”
This sounds like an X-files episode
“Someone left a phone with a busted screen in a road-stop toilet stall. I’d pulled in while driving home after making a delivery and i needed coffee. This photo was the only thing on it.”
I only trust one man
And that man is mothman