I'm never going to get better my life is already wasted and I'm just a burden
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@cryptidsandchamomile
I'm never going to get better my life is already wasted and I'm just a burden
I'm just so tired and I ache for a better life that I know I don't deserve or will get
I just want help I can't keep waiting I can't keep doing this with no way out anywhere in sight
He should've just pulled the trigger like he yelled he would I feel like I'm dead anyway
I think the part that's most upsetting is that I would give everyone from my past another chance. I wouldn't have led them on and given them hope and then shut it down once it came down to it.
I think I was just calling it forgiveness and seeing the best in people, but in reality I've just led people trample over me because I was convinced it's all I ever deserved or that it was the closest I could get to real friendship.
I'm grateful I have two people who've shown me it doesn't have to be that way. I just wish that in all my years of living it would've been more than just two at this point.
I'm sitting with it, redirecting my thoughts, stepping back and seeing what's the real source of my pain and sadness
If I was even able to do this before I wouldn't have been able to recognize it and realize that I'm doing what must be done. This is the way through and I'll be okay with time
I now understand what they mean with the body holding onto trauma because I'm shaking and hurting all over as if it's slowly being released after getting some closure
I need to give myself grace for finally going through the process of healing. It's not fast or glamorous or how I want it to be, but it's needed so that I can grow as a person. I cannot stay stuck how I was, and I am making progress even if I can't see it for myself
I'm grateful for the three people in my life who haven't given up on me. I want to have hope for the future, I want to be happy again some day
I reached out to someone from my past and they said they would rather not meet up again and another one has ignored me completely. It hurts and it sucks, cause I am literally all alone, but perhaps it's for the best. I've been holding on to the past for no reason, while knowing deep down I couldnt go back anyway.
Id rather be dead than live through this for 3 more years I'm so tired
I didn't want this I didn't ask for this I just needed help and I'm still not getting it
It was a choice between killing myself in the US or moving back in with my childhood abuser in my home country to receive mental health care
I think I've made the wrong choice
Don't know how much longer I can just bare it
Got told the voices I hear are trauma related but that nothing can be done about it until I can get therapy (which is still months, if not a year away) so I just have to ignore it for now and go about my day
She told me this isn't weird or uncommon and I shouldn't feel ashamed about it but I just don't know what to do now, I don't want it to get to a point again where I don't feel in control of my own body anymore
Nothing worse than a mother who hates you and yet won't even admit that to herself
I really hope my next life will be kinder to me I'm so exhausted and I just don't see it getting better anytime soon