The one and only blog of the Eltingville Society of the Paranormal and Unexplained(ESPU; est. 1995), a group dedicated to tracking any and all paranormal activity occuring in the South Shore area, as well as a separate investigation that will not be elaborated on. If you have anything to report, please notify me via ask.
MEMBERS:
Howard J. Lewis - Founder and President of the Society
Wilson - Vice President, Treasurer, and official Medium of the Society
Spencer Graff - member. on thin ice.
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Applications are open to everyone who has smoked at least 5 cigarettes and drank 10 alcoholic beverages and can name the president who was in office in 1976.
Applications NOT open to anyone who calls it the 'Cryptidville Club'. We are very aware of the Eltingville Club's existence and we are in NO WAY associated with them. We are a SOCIETY. NOT A CLUB.
Rules + Info!!
- The oc 'running' the blog is named Howard/Howie. He is 21 and has poor hygeine and lives with his mother. Please tell him to take a shower or go outside during the day.
- is a dual blog!! Normal posts will be tagged with cryptidville(which takes place early 2000s for the blog's sake) and when interacting with the heltingville blogs posts will be tagged with heltingville au(set in 1997).
- howie is set up to get with someone, so no ships
- Please no nsfw asks. I'm a minor.
- main is @somniphobiainc and blog i treat as my main is @malsaysstuff
[an: i've been toiling away at this since december of last year, hell i've graduated high school and enrolled in college since i started writing this. i figured that the people outside of the admin gc who are invested in my au would want a sneak peek or simply confirmation that i havent forgotten about the au. For those of you new to my little pet project, heltingville is a significantly darker rewrite of the original eltingville club comic set in 1997 where the club is actively trying to avoid being murdered by Jerry's evil capitalist/religious fanatic serial killer father while simultaneously dealing with the myriad of other issues life throws their way directly because of Jerry's dad. There will be many characters, some of which you'll know if you've followed along with the rp blogs and some you've yet to meet. The fanfic will also be long, it's slated for like 38 chapters and each one's going to likely wind up being 10k words each. And did I mention that it gets significantly darker from past ch1? Angst enjoyers everywhere rejoice. I hope everyone enjoys it :)co owners of the au/other writers are my goats @stitchyysmain, @heftyj4m, @icingsugar-arii, @rxccoonboo2 and @nose-spider3 !!]
The basement was comfortable, as comfortable as a poorly insulated, water-damaged basement can be in mid-to-late June anyways. Posters tacked and nailed and stapled to the stained walls, collectibles in mostly good condition placed carefully, almost lovingly on endless rows of shelves like rows of colorful soldiers standing at attention with their stoically molded and painted faces, boxes of neatly sorted comics stacked on the floor and whatever free surface their owner could find. It would be an almost tranquil scene if not for the cacophony occurring at the folding table by the stairs.
“It’s not fair! That wasn’t fair!” cried one of the boys, a ratty looking creature with bent glasses perched upon his nose and crooked, yellowed teeth and sporting an equally ratty orange flannel. “It’s Josh’s fault that I died in the first place! He practically killed me! I should be resurrected!”
“I can’t do that, Bill,” his friend, a blonde with mismatched eyes and a worn, monochromatically striped green sweater, replied, sounding apologetic and annoyed at the same time, like the way a retail worker would sound whilst explaining that something was out of stock. “Yeah, and don’t pin YOUR utter incompetence on me!” Josh, a curly haired boy with much straighter glasses and a brown windowpaned blazer–which is rather odd for a 17 year old boy in this day and age and of his socioeconomic standing to be wearing regularly, but for the sake of the story one would ask you to go along with it–spat in agreeance. “MY utter incompetence?” Bill scoffed, crossing his arms. “I’m not the total retard who managed to fuck up his saving throws THAT badly!” Josh rolled his eyes at this. “Oh please, I would’ve actually been able to concentrate if not for that masterclass in dicking around and complaining that you decided to display to all of motherfucking creation tonight!” he snapped, slamming his hands onto the flimsy folding table as he rose from his seat. “Would both of you cut it the hell out?!” the fourth of them, a greasy, pockmarked thing with eyes from a possession flick and dressed like if every other wannabe mall goth had discovered Agent Orange and Amebix, chastised. “Ain’t no fuckin’ need for none o’ that. Besides, Jerry can resurrect all of us.”
“No, actually, Pete,” Jerry snapped, looking right at him without looking him in the eye. “I”m not resurrecting anybody. The campaign sucked dick anyways.” Clearly this struck a nerve with the rest of the club. “Probably sucked your dad’s dick like everyone else in this shithole does!” Bill seethed as he reached over the table and grabbed Jerry by the sweater, basically yanking him over to him. Jerry shoved Bill, and this set off a chain reaction of hands and limbs and words getting thrown around loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
The fighting was abruptly cut off by the sound of banging against the basement door. “All of you shut the fuck up, I’m trying to go to bed!!” a high pitched voice screeched from the other side. Bill glared over at Josh for a split second before turning his attention to the stairwell, his grip on Jerry’s sweater loosening a bit. “Okay, goodnight, Jane!” he shouted in response before turning to his friends. “Say goodnight to my sister,” he demanded, more fearing for the safety of his peers than caring for any courtesy to be extended to the womb tenant who was evicted post him, despite what his tone may convey. The other 3 piped up with some variation of ‘goodnight, Jane’ and waited until they couldn’t hear her footsteps outside of the basement before continuing their tryst.
“Nice goin’, Josh. Way to piss the kid off,” Bill spat, glaring at him. “Oh please, you started it,” Josh retorted, his arms crossed. “Hey, lay off it, he just saved your damn life back there,” Pete interjected. “Wasn’t for him Jane’d probably fuckin’ castrated you.”
This was followed by silence. Long, awkward silence, which was broken by a sigh from Bill. “Look at us, first actual meeting in, what, 6, 7-” “9 and a half months, give or take,” Jerry corrected somberly. Bill scoffed. “Yeah, 9 and a half fucking months since we’ve actually had the time to have a meeting and all we’ve done is bitch and moan at one another for half the night. This is bullshit.”
“I mean, meeting hasn’t really started yet,” Josh points out. “All we’ve really done is play D&D and bitch at each other.” Bill sighs at this, running a hand through his greasy hair. “Right, uhm- wait, fuck, what time is it?” he asked, suddenly remembering something. “Uhh, if I had to take a guess,” Josh started, trying to wrack his brain and silently damning Bill for not having a clock in his basement. “8:00? 8:30? I dunno.” At this response, Bill darts off upstairs, returning back a few minutes later as though he had just saved Gotham City. “Okay, took my meds, crisis averted,” he mumbled mostly to himself as he grabbed the plastic model of Mjolnir that constituted a gavel for them and walked back over to the folding table, where everyone had already situated themselves at their respective seats. “Alright, I now call this meeting of the Eltingville Comic Book, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror and Role-Playing Club officially to order,” Bill declared with a smack of the plastic hammer against the table. “We’ll start with you, Jer.”
“Bee-dee bee-dee bee-dee, okay Buck!” Jerry responded, pulling a large binder up from the floor and flicking through it. “So, first thing, after a very close call last Wednesday, I have decided to start hiding the binder under the floorboards in my closet.” This was met with nods of understanding. “Second, I’ve finally gathered all 300 letters we wrote under assumed names to Paramount to make a Captain Sulu show. All we need now is the $99 postage and we’ll show them Trek fans mean business!” This was met with a degree of excitement. “Good work, Jer,” Bill praised. “Pete?”
Pete sat up a little in his chair upon the proverbial spotlight being turned on him. “Well, I ain’t done no important shit like Jerry, but I did manage to get this copy of Jackie Chan’s City Hunter from this dude selling tapes down by the deli for, like, $25,” he began to recount. “The picture’s kinda grainy an’ jumpy an’ all, an’ I can’t read the subtitles for shit, but c’mon, it was $25! I’d be insane to pass that kinda deal up!” The other 3 concurred. “Oh, and that bootleg Thing With Two Heads resin kit I ordered in, like, December finally came in the other day. I built it up last night while I was bingin’ said copy of Jackie Chan’s City Hunter, an’ I think I did a real good job on Rosey Grier’s head, but I kinda fucked up Ray Milland’s head and he just looks like a potato or a yam or somethin’.”
“Alright then.. Joshenstein?” Bill prompted, looking to his right. “I told you to quit saying shit like that, Bill,” Josh chided, glaring back at him. “I’ll stop callin’ you that when the fat whore you call a mother stops calling ME at 3 in the morning. What’ve you got?” Josh sighed. “Well, I found out that my cousin’s working at the Blockbuster, so I bet if we ask real nice we can probably get her to let us rent stuff out for free,” he shared. “You talkin’ about the fag?” Pete asks, raising an eyebrow. “No- well, I actually don’t know. We don’t really talk a lot anymore. Still worth a shot.” Just then, Josh’s memory struck and he pulled out a tape from his blazer pocket. “But check this out!” he exclaimed, holding the little box up. “I finally got this tape in the mail last week. It’s a little fan-made number called Sexy Sirens of Sci-Fi and Horror: Revealed!” The boy giggled a little in excitement. “It’s supposed to be Volume 10. We’re talkin’ 2 hours of film clips featuring scream queens, b-movie starlets, and even some REAL actresses in movies where they’re topless. Or worse!” The other three leaned in, trying to get a good look at the tape holding what was probably close to the Holy Grail for them. “No fuckin’ way,” Jerry mumbled in disbelief. “You better believe it, Jerry!” Josh beamed “The back says It’s got Callisto, Tasha Yar, and half the cast of Twin Peaks!” Disbelief turned into boyish wonder amongst the other 3 at these words. “Tasha Yar? Naked?!” Pete exclaimed, staring at the tape in amazement. “Oh man, that's gotta be against the Prime Directive. Let’s watch it!”
“Hold on, I haven’t gone yet!” Bill exclaimed, slamming the plastic hammer against the table and bringing the club’s attention back to him. “I have a few things,” he started, putting his hands behind his back. “First, I changed the locks again, so we should be good in that department for a little while.” This was met with some nodding. “Second, I ended up selling some shit on ebay for a good chunk of money, so I bought cable. Then-” “Bill you can’t watch softcore,” Pete cut him off. “I’m sorry but I’ve seen where this goes firsthand. First you get cable, and next thing you know you’ve got your dick out over a piece of ass you can’t even see. No friend of mine’s gonna be doin’ that shit.” Josh and Jerry nodded in agreement. “Fair, but last thing; My latest attempt to make contact with Gene Roddenberry’s spirit has met with failure.” And with a bang of Mjolnir’s plastic against the plastic of the table, the meeting was concluded. “Now let’s go watch that video!”
ch1 coming soon!!
taglist: @stitchyysmain @heftyj4m @nose-spider3 @b1ockbust3r @spacekrook @icingsugar-arii @rxccoonboo2 @trentreznorsthirdtesticle @cobezzramblezz + lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist!!
RP howie and heltingville howie are separate guys with separate lore, just operating under the same blog. All heltingville posts will be tagged accordingly.
Doing a hard reset of rp heltingville. Just a clean slate. Posts are staying up but nothing before tonighy should be regarded as canon to the rp anymore.
Yeah, yeah.. I brought those cookies that she likes. Just incase.
She crawled inside, hopping on one foot until stabilizing herself.
Oh, by the way! I'm gonna have this epic scar. She then moved her hair out of her face to show the medical eyepatch. See?? Cool, huh. Maybe it'll help differentiate me from the cryptids!
She flopped into the designated beanbag chair that she practically owned. It was beaten up, and STINKY!!!!!
Well, I got off my shift at my stupid job, and was caught in the back alley and got slashed. I think it was probably something to do with the stupid case.
.... It may have also been because I was shit talking the big bad Stokes guy. Not the kid, but y'know.
At least I don't have him right up my asscrack asking me 'Howie, can i come over? Howie, can i touch your notes because i just NEED to get my grimy little fingers on your hours of research? Howie, can I actually just crawl up and move into your asscrack since i'm always in there all the time like a FUCKING parasite?!'
his mom then shouts at him to shut the fuck up from the other room
Yeah, yeah.. I brought those cookies that she likes. Just incase.
She crawled inside, hopping on one foot until stabilizing herself.
Oh, by the way! I'm gonna have this epic scar. She then moved her hair out of her face to show the medical eyepatch. See?? Cool, huh. Maybe it'll help differentiate me from the cryptids!
She flopped into the designated beanbag chair that she practically owned. It was beaten up, and STINKY!!!!!
Well, I got off my shift at my stupid job, and was caught in the back alley and got slashed. I think it was probably something to do with the stupid case.
.... It may have also been because I was shit talking the big bad Stokes guy. Not the kid, but y'know.
At least I don't have him right up my asscrack asking me 'Howie, can i come over? Howie, can i touch your notes because i just NEED to get my grimy little fingers on your hours of research? Howie, can I actually just crawl up and move into your asscrack since i'm always in there all the time like a FUCKING parasite?!'
his mom then shouts at him to shut the fuck up from the other room
Eltingville Society of the Paranormal &Unexplained @cryptidville-club - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
