Cryptobotanist

🍃Down to earth and far out flora🍃 🌱 All photographs are taken by me unless otherwise stated. Use of these photos without credit is prohibited.

[crypto-botanist]

hi there! if I were to use any of the photos you post here on your blog, how would you like me to go about crediting you? Should I use a name or do I just need to link back to your blog/ the post where i got the image from. thanks in advance :)

Hello! Thanks for asking, I really appreciate it. Linking back to my blog would be just fine 🌿

[crypto-botanist]

Eva Gold English Heather (Erica x darleyensis ‘Eva gold’)

🌸 Just a little taste of spring 🌸

[crypto-botanist]

Gymnocalycium

Update!! Blossoms have finally opened 😍

[crypto-botanist]

Reblogging because it’s rad

[crypto-botanist]

Licorice fern (polypodium glycyrrhiza)

This little fern doesn’t mind the winters here in the PNW. In fact, it takes this time to grow, when most other plants are dormant. 🌿

[crypto-botanist]

American Chestnut (castanea dentata)

I love the way this chestnut leaf is camouflaged against these wood chips 🍂

[crypto-botanist]

So this is going to sound weird but u seem nice and I'm desperate. Please don't hate me.

How would you solve sex pollen?

If you don't know, sex pollen is a common trope. The name is self explanatory: character gets hit by sex pollen, gets horny, and must have sex with someone or they die. Well, that the most common form of the trope but that's not what we're here for. What I want to know is how would people like say the government get rid of these plants safely? Consider them dangerous and probably toxic species.

I tried searching up air pollution and pollen, but nothing really seems to be what I'm after, which are standard protocols for dealing with this shit.

Um...what?

[crypto-botanist]

Silver-dollar fern (adiantum peruvianum)

I am very drawn to the geometric anatomy of this plant. It calls to the square in me! ⬜️🌿◽️🌿▫️

[crypto-botanist]

Still so pretty!

[crypto-botanist]

You are so cool!

🌿😎🌿😎 Thanks! So are you for saying this

[crypto-botanist]

I do remember finding cacti as part of the plantings in a Southeast Michigan yard. But at the time, I figured it was because they probably went to Arizona often, as that is pretty common. You'll find the odd sheltered palm tree here as well from Michiganders that are fond of traveling to Florida. It didn't occur to me there might be native cacti.

That's a great point! People do tend to do that in Michigan.

[crypto-botanist]

I recognize almost all of the plants you’ve shot from the gardens and you’ve done a beautiful job showcasing them!! Thank you so much for sharing, and I see you do graphic design. Did you go to kendall? I went there for illustration! it’s fun to run into fellow Grand Rapidians on here! 😊

Hey! I did go to Kendall for graphic design. I graduated in 2016. Thanks for all the kind words! I also have a minor in printmaking, I wonder if we have ever run into each other?

[crypto-botanist]

This blog is amazing!!!! It really made me feel better after a very long day. It also inspired me and someday I'm getting a peacock fern!

Aww!! That's so sweet, you're wonderful. 💚I'm really glad that it cheered you up💚

[crypto-botanist]

😐😐😐

Great, now I have to kink shame the garden center…..

[i-am-moonknight]

hmmm…i dont know bro…

[disgustingplants]

It’s almost that time of year again :(

[captain-cargoshorts]

Isn’t Sugar Daddy Snap the thing that happened in Infinity Was?

[crypto-botanist]

Eastern prickly pear (opuntia humifusa)

Even after reading about these being native to Michigan, I still didn’t believe it. And as I was staring down at huge clumps of these cacti sticking out of piles of oak leaves and tufts of grass…..I still couldn’t believe my eyes! 🌵💚🌵

[fatehbaz]

Are there prickly-pear, probably of this same species, also present in the Carolinian forest/woodland ecoregion of far-southern Ontario, along Lake Erie between Toronto and Windsor? (That ecoregion also harbors the narrow northernmost distribution of other sensitive and emblematic temperate prairie and woodland species like fox snakes and massasauga rattlesnakes).

A distribution map for Opuntia humifusa [source]:

(I’m no botanist and I’m honestly not sure how accurate this distribution map is, or how current the county records are.)

-

Speaking of far-northern distribution range limits of prickly-pear, I’ve found prickly-pear in both British Columbia’s Okanogan region and southern Alberta; it was exciting.

[crypto-botanist]

Thanks so much for the input! While I'm not sure about the distribution in the area near Toronto, I would not be surprised at all if they have been found there as the environment is very similar to where I found these ones. It's always exciting to find unexpected plants in strange locations!

[crypto-botanist]

Nepenthes bicalcarata x ampullaria Some of these pitchers are soooo small that a housefly wouldn't even be able to squeeze inside 🔎🔎🔎

[crypto-botanist]

Northern pitcher plant (sarracenia purpurea) & Large cranberry (vaccinium macrocarpon) Just in time for the holidays! A big helping of pitchers with a side of cranberries 😋

[crypto-botanist]

😐😐😐

Great, now I have to kink shame the garden center…..

[i-am-moonknight]

hmmm…i dont know bro…

[crypto-botanist]

these photos are all so amazing! is this a job or a hobby? do you travel a lot?

Hey! This is just a hobby of mine and I do lots of research and reading for fun. I wish this could be my job. I'm actually a graphic designer but I've always loved plants and nature. I also wish I could travel more. It might seem surprising, but almost all of these photos were taken in Michigan! Most are from hiking trips or just little plants I find day to day. The majority of the tropical plant photos were taken at Frederick Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park, which has multiple amazing greenhouses!