fight me, helen.

sex worker, woc

[sexhaver]

US Civil War 2 Speedrun (Any%)

[loveridden1999]

reblog if you're a sick individual who's attracted to women over 30

[juney-blues]

source: Remy Boydell

[catchymemes]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

on my way home last night I stopped to buy gas and realized that my fuel door was almost completely covered in ice and frozen shut so I did the logical thing and crouched down and lifted my shirt and pressed my naked belly against it until it melted

[behold-my-squees]

Naked belly is most logical! Your body will always divert heat to keep it warm, whereas hands are an extremity that may be neglected. And your ass has way more fat and way less circulation and it will just get. SO COLD. and take forever to get warm even when you’re back in your toasty car. So you can take pride in using your brood patch!

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

yeah but given my height and the position required it did sort of look like I was fucking my car, is the thing

[rimonoroni]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

What’s not to get? You never seen a guy with a brood patch before?

[rimonoroni]

y. you’re deactivated. how are you posting from the grave

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I have unfinished business here

[ampervadasz]

Deal

[were--ralph]

i too would trade my child for seven corn kernels

[zangoonse]

[vonkarn]

kitten, stop fucking around and tell daddy where you hid his prozac or daddy's gonna add another 'hey there delilah' to the sex playlist

[vonkarn]

why do you guys only like my bad posts

[tanagran]

me when i throw away an apple core: too bad i haven't any hogs. i could have put this in their trough.

[caats]

[aletheyass]

when the blind man shows frankenstein’s creature the pleasures of life he shows him cigarette and music. notice how he doesn’t show him linkedin and email

[catchymemes]

[byjove]

the masculine urge to ride your horse into the middle of town and dramatically fall off of it revealing the serious gunshot wound in your side

[byjove]

masculine urge to be laid out on someone’s kitchen table while they call for a doctor, narrowly survive surgery, recover slowly from a festering gunshot wound and go after the son of a bitch that gave it to me

[byjove]

hell yeah

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[catchymemes]

[yrakenveitbluther-deactivated20]

this is gonna enter my vocabulary for sure

[leghorn]

[leghorn]

unironically got put on a blocklist for this post. this is the funniest website on earth

[leghorn]

i am now being accused of being an inc*st shipper becos i thought a misspelling of the word insect is funny. i should have to pay to get this kind of entertainment. who is adrien. why is this person saying i blocked them when i have literally never heard of them in my life. whats a proshipper. 

[charlesoberonn]

I’m really into internet discourse but only pointless and stupid internet discourse like how many holes there are in a straw (it’s 2)

[charlesoberonn]

This is exactly what I’m talking about.

[evilscientist3]

I’m sorry but mathematically speaking this question has a single objectively correct answer, which is 1 hole. This can be very simply proven; a straw and a torus are homotopic, and a torus has one hole.

[thyrell]

i odnt think thats true one of my friends is a taurus and hes fine with gay people