FUDGE

[musicforadarkenedtheatre-deacti]

[idk--------s-deactivated2025070]

Environmental storytelling is my favorite

[armorabs]

we know plankton and krabs have been playing poker together for 15 years

we also know this episode aired before the episode where pearl turned 16

while the non-continuity & non-chronological order of the series means that assuming that pearl was 15 in welcome to the chum bucket is a fool’s gamble - it’s reasonable enough that if there is an episode about her turning 16, her character was likely conceptualized as being 15 years old prior to that point. but either she was 15 or she was 16 in welcome to the chum bucket … and either way, that’s about as long as pearl’s been alive.

we also know that pearl is krabs’ biological daughter … through a combination of facts … and were given reason to believe that something happened to the mother of his child shortly after pearl’s birth that made him depressed. she’s not around anymore and no longer apart of their lives in any way shape or form.

we also know plankton and krabs were childhood best friends, going on to have an on-again-off-again friendship for years prior to spongebob getting a job at the krusty krab … and the two are shown to occasionally have moments where they truly, genuinely care about each other deep down, despite the rivalry …

conclusion: plankton might have started playing poker with krabs to cheer him up after the death of his wife

[getetteroo]

oh thank god i thought you were going to say plankton was pearls mom

[btheleaf]

Me doing any of my favorite activities:

[brucebocchi]

absolute fucking king weird al encouraging proper means of watching his new biopic

[krwzprtt]

I'M SORRY YOU CAN'T WATCH IT, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET

[valtsv]

guy who says "this is the worst day of my life" and then pulls out a spreadsheet ranking every day of their life so far to prove it

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[existennialmemes]

United Healthcare getting sued by its investors, because it didn't warn them that the CEO getting murdered (by the tendrils of their unmitigated greed) was going to lead to them approving more claims (for covered services that they had no right to deny) is a cartoonish example of exactly why their CEO got murdered.

Their argument is essentially "You promised us a specific profit margin that is not possible to achieve under this increased public scrutiny of your unethical practices. We only agreed to invest because of those unethical practices. So we demand compensation because you didn't warn us that you'd be behaving more ethically"

And idk. Satire isn't just dead. We've pissed on its corpse and now it's dissolving in lye.

[kuromi-hoemie]

this is one of those little details that jumped out and stuck with me since hearing about this.

crazy to take a business to court because they need to take “aggressive, anti-consumer” tactics. like right, making life increasingly harder and worse for everyone in the pursuit of short term profits is very intentional, and sometimes someone will just come right out and say it.

[naamahdarling]

Can we also talk about how batshit fucked up it is to refer to patients as health care "consumers"? Like we have a choice in needing care?

Truly optional shit already isn't covered.

THEY feed on US.

[crabapplepectin]

ppl in the age of cell phones: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of books: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of textile art: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of picking lice: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of cooking: fucking up their necks

[crabapplepectin]

in the age of keyboards: carpel tunnel

in the age of writing by hand: carpel tunnel

in the age of squeezing water out of wet clothes after cleaning them by hand: carpel tunnel

in the age of using hand-sized stone tools: carpel tunnel

[notyourplayground]

#besties i am starting to think the human skeletal system might just be trash (via @cicerfics)

you are not wrong bestie

[puraiuddo]

in the Pleistocene age when humankind first began to walk upright: knee problems

[pesky-plumbers]

[graffyn-guy]

The funniest part of this, to me, is that they didn’t use the “G” in Super Mario Galaxy? 

[pesky-plumbers]

[treaclethetortoise]

There is no war in Ba Sing Se

The Moon landing was faked

Major words in Mario games have never used a G

[pesky-plumbers]

please stop bringing attention to my mistakes i already feel terrible

[graffyn-guy]

What about the H in Super Mario Sunshine? @pesky-plumbers

[pesky-plumbers]

[final-justice]

@pesky-plumbers what about the F from Mario Golf?

[pesky-plumbers]

[tremendouslysizzlingsandwich-de]

y in mario party

[pesky-plumbers]

this one is actually justified so kiss my fucking ass ok the Y is from Mario Teaches Typing

your ass tryina 1-up me like everyone else but you failed uwu

[grawly]

there was a g in this one too tho

[pesky-plumbers]

[kuromi-hoemie]

me when i see an animal that is known for being in my area

[mousegirlheart]

[gayvampyr]

stop that’s so funny

[spiralstaircased]

and i know people mean well when they give employment advice but god damn some of them its like "did you try submitting your resume to a place that is hiring" fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck no kidding. shit. ive just been printing them out and eating them. yeah thanks i'll try that

[creepycrag]

i love when a villain is like "ahhh what a ROTTEN day" but they mean that it's good and they're just saying it like that because they arbitrarily like when things are bad

[grickle14]

Feel the breeze this summer.

[toxifoxx]

i hate when you google a word and some fucking company comes up instead. Do you think you are more important than the english dictionary you piece of shit corporation

[natalieironside]

My boyfriend was showing me his cat and I leaned over to kiss the cat on his soft little baby head and he went "meow" and scrambled away because I'd been wearing my headphones and I accidentally jabbed him with the microphone.

And I said "Damn, this is exactly like in the Iliad"

[rebels-cairn]

#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous