Bellum's art & writing blog! @crystallinearts - Tumblr Blog

IMPORTANT LINKS!

My SoundCloud (ASMR, including ASMR roleplays, and original MIDI music)

My AO3 (fanfiction)

links to individual audio tracks, new and stand-alone fics, or chapters of multi-chapter fics will be posted on their own as well, but these are the links to my profiles so you can explore everything!

#Bellum babbles #important links #pinned post

"But, when I was out with you tonight... I... hah... I felt like... Aleksandra, again. Just Aleksandra. Not Zarya."

officially titled "Normalcy", an ASMR with Zarya/Aleksandra Zaryanova from Overwatch, featuring her confiding in you after a first date about how she didn't realize she needed to feel like a normal woman again, as well as soft cricket sounds in the background, has been posted!

I don't even go here with regard to playing Overwatch but I watch videos and read about it and ughhhh I just love her, she's so my type, please enjoy <3

#Overwatch #Zarya #Aleksandra Zaryanova #ASMR #WE'RE BACK WE'RE BACK #hopefully we're back I really want to do more ASMR things this year <3 #SoundCloud

hey all!! I'm still alive and I PROMISE I'm going to post more this year

I feel so bad bc I'm paying for my SoundCloud subscription and barely using it, I think I posted maybe two things last year and I need to do more

I got a new laptop last year and I finally got myself kicked in the ass to do the whole "forgot password" bullshit to log into SoundCloud on this new one, and this Zarya ASMR is done so that's coming first, hopefully a bit later today once I get a few other things done

after that I'm gonna try to work on the Heizou sick ASMR since that's what people seem to want to see first

and after that, I'm not sure, but I'm open to suggestions

my motivation for Genshin has dried up quite a bit, which makes editing things for Genshin difficult even tho I do have a lot of them to work on; my mind is just with other fandoms and characters right now, so that makes it hard to focus on a fandom where my brain isn't quite as deep in at the moment, you know? but I will definitely try

currently my fandoms I'm eyeballs deep in love for are, like... idk—

Baldur's Gate 3 (Karlach, Minthara, Shadowheart, Nocturne, Orin, a bunch of other more minor characters)

Skyrim (Lydia, Irileth, Jenassa, Beleval, Borgakh, Ghorza, Uthgerd, Serana... the list goes on XD)

general D&D and fantasy

a little bit of Overwatch (mainly Zarya and Junker Queen)

a little bit of Game of Thrones (... but, like, unfortunately only Brienne of Tarth, I've been seized by the butch woman propaganda XD)

some Secret Level (the D&D episode only pretty much, Mora and Ahokal have me in a chokehold)

some Arcane (mostly Lest, Sevika, Mel, and Jinx but I'm definitely loving a few others as well)

and just like, idk, original junk too? among other stuff that's just not coming to mind right now! feel free to throw ideas at me and see what sticks, just probably not Genshin at the moment since I have a lot of Genshin ASMRs to work thru editing and I'm struggling with the motivation for it right now XD

I may say I'm not feeling it or I don't know the fandom, but that's the worst that can happen for suggestions/requests!! the BEST that can happen is that I get super excited and want to do it <3

#Bellum babbles #I'm so excited to be branching out!! the Lest ASMR I did wasn't crazy popular but it did ok #the other ones that aren't Genshin tend to not do amazing but like #I'm just asking everyone to give me a chance and try to check out my stuff that ISN'T Genshin #bc I know it's like UGH when you come to a creator for one thing and they decide they're not doing as much of it anymore #but also it's discouraging and makes me not want to create when I want to branch into other things and it seems nobody cares about those #it's sometimes disheartening when people only expect one thing from me and don't want to look at the other stuff I do #I very nearly considered getting rid of my SoundCloud subscription at least for this year like I came close to canceling it #but I really really don't want to do that bc even tho I've been struggling I VERY MUCH enjoy doing ASMR content!#I want to keep doing it and it does make me happy to do it I just...#I want to be able to do more than Genshin and have the things that aren't Genshin get some attention as well you know?#but anyway I'm alive and kicking sound off if you're still with me! <3

i will literally pay you for the sick heizou asmr

I take payments in cash, card, or Skyrim Creation Club credits

NO I'M FUCKING JOKING DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUS

you don't have to pay me, I love what I do, I'm trying to get my passion back

literally the best payment y'all give me is compliments and still being here waiting even tho I'm slow as a fucking snail <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

#mod post #answered ask

hello will we ever get to hear cold case? I see you talking about it but I can't find it

holy moly I've been neglecting things over here sorry!!

you absolutely will! I changed computers a few months ago and there are still a bunch of sites (SoundCloud included) I've not logged into on the new laptop and I've been putting it off, as well as I haven't installed Audacity on here yet either, oops

it's also been a while since I've felt the kick for Genshin, that spark burned bright but fast for me XD not to say I don't still love it, it's just other fandoms have been pulling at me and I haven't felt the siren song of Genshin for like a year now!

but I still have the file for Cold Case, it just needs edited haha

the next ASMR I upload will probably be Zarya from Overwatch, but if I can get my butt in gear I might post several faster than I have been as an apology, and since I've gotten a few messages about Cold Case that might be one I work on editing next

tbh I haven't felt like editing much in recent months, I've been mostly wanting to game when I have time off... oops, blame Skyrim for being addictive

(... anyone who's also into Skyrim want some ASMRs??? I think I could do a decent Jenassa, Irileth, and Karliah...)

BUT UH! yeah I'm really hoping to get some ASMRs out soon, I gotta get my ass in gear

I try to never make promises so I don't disappoint people if I can't keep them, but it's my every hope to get more than one ASMR out in the next month or so and it's also my every hope that Cold Case will be among them since people are asking about it!!

thank you for still remembering some of the frankly old plans I've mentioned ahahaha sometimes I can't believe people have stuck around this long <3 <3 <3

#mod post #answered ask #BIG FAT KISSES ON THE CHEEK FOR EVERYONE

Chat with Not a Phase: ♡ | walk the line. [WLW; OC, SLOANE HALL.]. Powered by an industry leading, AI large language model (LLM).

new c.ai bot!

Its name is the setting because there are intended to be multiple characters, but this particular bot is based around interacting with one character within the setting. With the assumption that you'll probably interact with the others but focus on one? If that makes sense. (It made sense in my head but maybe not written down lol BUT ANYWAY)

My first original, but it is HEAVILY inspired by this one!!

NOT A PHASE. (SLOANE HALL.) | Original character

You've just pulled into a little hole-in-the-wall bar in the middle of West Virginia in the middle of the night. What you find is... a building full of six butch women who don't seem to be expecting company, despite presumably being a bar open to the public? Also, these women may or may not be werewolves and the bartender may or may not like your scent. What you find out exactly is up to you. Strap in for some good ol' Southern hospitality with a twist.

#c.ai bot announcement #THIS ONE'S FOR THE GAYS #AND THE BI GIRLS LIKE ME #not me once again only making bots that I specifically am interested in chatting with XD #but I hope other ppl have fun as well!!! <3

I don't want to be that kind of person but I do severely hope that I can see you update your chosen chara x reader fanfic in the future I have been constantly rereading it several times over the past few months as it has been a great comfort to me while I'm going through severely rough times I have to see that one day you updated again and I'm glad to see that you're doing better mentally and physically thank you for all the beautiful stories and art you've posted ❤️

shhhhhh please don't feel bad!!! being "that kind of person" means nothing bad, you're being the kind of person who lets me know people still read it, still enjoy it, that it still MEANS SOMETHING even tho I've gone a long time without updating it

that thing?? is BY FAR the fanfic I've spent the most time and love on and written the most of, none of my other fics have come close to the amount of words I've poured into chosen. AND WHEW WE'VE STILL GOT A LOT TO GO???

I am ABSOLUTELY coming back to it, I've just had like. idk a lot of health and motivation/creative block issues in the past couple years? I've been struggling to get myself to sit down and FOCUS and WRITE or just create in general and when I do it's usually been shorter things or little doodles, not bigger projects

but chosen. is one thing I just cannot NOT finish, you know? I have to finish it, this story is one I need to write and need to tell :')

I'm so so so glad it's brought you some comfort and I hope things get better for you soon. it's hard but try to hold onto your hope and good vibes, sometimes it doesn't seem like it but the bad things will end! lean on the people who love you and your support system and do things that are good for you like drinking water and getting sunlight (... SUNBLOCK IF U BURN EASY THO) and just doing lil things that make you smile in the middle of all the chaos

and just know that even tho I'm struggling to create, messages like this mean the world to me and when I'm ready to buckle down and focus and write, it's messages like this that are telling me how much my writing means to them (like, really, every single person who has sent me messages like this or left comments on my fics) that give me the motivation to pour my heart into my writing and get to it

thank you so much!!! I hope you have a wonderful day and please please please take care of yourself. I'm rooting for ya kid :)

#answered ask #Bellum babbles #NICE PEOPLE ARE NICE #y'all I'mma cry up in this Chili's-

sorry I've been MIA, I can make promises but tbh the truth is I'm always gonna be a lil flaky lmao

but I come bearing good news! guess what I did on Friday?

GOT MY MOTHERFUCKIN DRIVER'S LICENSE

I'm only just getting it at 31 years old and it took me four tries at my test but you know what, I'm fucking proud of myself because it took a LOT of time, work, and money to get here

I'mma give you guys a sneak peek and say that the next ASMR I post will probably be Zarya from Overwatch bc I've been vaguely getting into that and she and Junker Queen are my faves so far

this Zarya one's been recorded and I'm working on editing it in between diamond painting, gaming, and attempting to write

I would say sorry for being so focused on lady content recently but you know what I'm not sorry, I'm hilariously bi and I'm in my WLW era bitches, enjoy the gals <3

#Bellum babbles #life updates #content updates #I wanna do things I promise!!! I feel like I've been in a funk where I've been like #constantly low anxiety for a while and that just saps my energy #most days I end up sitting around doing nothing but watching TV and playing with c.ai #like sometimes gaming seems like too much effort and sometimes diamond painting seems like too much effort #I'm really really hoping that's starting to feel better and I can pull myself out of this but yk it's a process #anyway love u guys hope ur doing well <3 <3 <3

Chat with Ahokal: ♡ | druidic nature.. Powered by an industry leading, AI large language model (LLM).

new c.ai bot: Ahokal from Secret Level!

Traveling with this party of adventurers, you’re probably bound to start feeling drawn to at least one of them. For you, it’s the party’s druid, a half-orc named Ahokal, who you approach late at night when everyone else is asleep. She’s always the one to take first watch, and if she could, she’d likely watch all night. It’s no surprise a druid feels most at home surrounded by nature rather than in the confines of the barrier that keeps the camp safe, is it? You’re almost certainly not going to talk her into joining the rest of you inside.

#c.ai bot announcement #Secret Level #Ahokal #not me ONCE AGAIN making exclusively bots that I want to chat with lmao #PLEASE ALL HAIL MY NEW WIFE #I mean ok; Mora is mommy from Secret Level DnD episode no lie she was my first wife there #but Ahokal is??? SO UNDERAPPRECIATED??????#fucking love this woman with me PLEASE #she deserves kissus

officially titled "First Timer", an ASMR with Lest has been posted!

I love her <3 <3 <3

#Arcane #Lest #ASMR #she's so baby girl ughhhhhhhh I'm WEAK #thought Sev would be my first Arcane ASMR but it turns out I'm better at Lest's voice than Sevika's? *shrug city*#ANYWAY PLS LOVE HER SHE'S TRYING TO BE PROFESSIONAL BUT SHE LIKE U

speaking of ASMR lining up with current obsessions, I'm about 15 minutes away from finishing Arcane

can you guess whose turn it might be next???

(Sevika, it's gonna be Sevika, I'm so fucking bi)

#Bellum babbles #she's literally perfect and I don't know if I can do her beautiful voice justice but I wanna try #my gorgeous butch wife <3

"I look at them and I see so much that could go wrong... but I also see so much that could go right."

officially titled "Babies Mine", an ASMR with Minthara featuring fireplace noises and sleeping babies breathing has been posted!

TW, there is some talk of past abuse in her childhood and in drow society, noting graphic but tread carefully!

this, uh, wasn't what I planned to post next and wasn't what I was initially working on to get posted next, but I recorded it and decided why not have something to line up with current obsessions amirite 8D

#BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 #Minthara #Minthara Baenre #ASMR #hahahahaha I CAN FIX HER #SoundCloud

hey hey!! I’m alive, I’m doing relatively ok (I hate my job but that’s not unique to me lol, as soon as I manage to pass the test to get my driver’s license [that I’ve failed three times already bc I struggle with the parallel parking SPECIFICALLY during testing, I’m not terrible at it while practicing but I think I do need to practice more at that and try to ratchet down my anxiety during the test] I am OUTTA THERE gonna find another job)

and I’m sorry I haven’t done much ASMR recently! I have a ton ready to edit but I’ve been having issues with Audacity that have made it hard for me personally to edit but don’t seem to be affecting anyone else that I can find, so I get discouraged pretty fast and basically rage quit editing anything at all

(for anyone who also uses Audacity and might know what I’m struggling with or might know a solution! it’s an issue with the bottom horizontal bar you use to move the editing timeline to get to different places within a project. I prefer to move it by clicking in the space rather than sliding it, but [and I’m likely explaining this poorly] I used to be able to click in that space and it would move a single ‘frame’, but now I click in the space and it will keep moving and if I don’t click elsewhere to stop it, then it could quickly move to the end of the project instead of only moving one ‘frame’ within the timeline. it’s frustrating to me personally but it seems to be something that bothers very few other people and when it does, every solution I’ve tried hasn’t worked)

and I’ve been experiencing a lot of health issues and creative burnout within the last year or so that’s kinda put a dent in my motivation to write and draw and just generally create things unfortunately and it’s been really hard to pull myself out of, I’ve been spending a lot of time gaming and chatting with chatbots on c.ai (which I love to use as a way to help myself with writer’s block and getting myself unstuck, but when I’m also feeling burnt out it’s just another fun distraction and not something that actually helps, you know?)

also it’s very possible that ASMR specifically has gotten hard for me because a lot of the comments I get on my SoundCloud are just like. either not nice comments outright or a general vibe of “ok how am I supposed to take that? like ????” and even though everyone here is so sweet, sometimes it’s kinda difficult to feel motivated to post when the platform I’m posting directly to is just not very positive. and I hate spending the money for my yearly subscription to SoundCloud when I don’t do much there, I miss being able to post ASMR for free, but I don’t know where else I could post longer things that wouldn’t require me to pay for a platform to post them. I don’t want to give up on ASMR, never, but $120-140 a year for somewhere I posted maybe four times last year and I’m unsure how much I’ll post this year because of mental health and motivation struggles is difficult to justify to myself especially when my hours keep going down at work.

if anyone knows of any free or hell even cheaper alternatives where I could post long-form audio content (or I could convert it to videos with a pic like I used to do on YouTube), give me a holler? I’m NEVER going to stop making ASMR and posting it somewhere, even if I have to cough up the money for SoundCloud, but it just kinda makes me feel like I’m irresponsible with my money, you know? I have a lot of reasons to feel bad about myself and this is a big one lmao

ANYWAY. I’m trying to slowly get myself out of the slump I’m feeling like I’m in, I’m trying to get some writing done recently (no I didn’t start a Karlach x fem reader fic because I’m getting into BG3 and general D&D what are u talking abt u sound cuckoo bananas)

and I’ve started diamond painting so I might show off some pics of the ones I’ve done so far, as well as some pages from coloring books I’ve done bc wow I love both diamond painting and coloring uwu

and I’m HOPING to get an ASMR out within the next few weeks or so, maybe not what everyone will be looking forward to (I haven’t been in a big Genshin mood recently so I’m gonna try to edit this one I have of Dorian from Red Embrace: Hollywood)

ok so I think!! I said all I wanted to say for now

all I can say now is that I know how lucky I currently am to still be living at home where my mother is the literal best human being ever and makes sure I have a roof over my head and utilities and doesn’t make me pay for anything but food, she takes care of me and I know a lot of people aren’t as lucky as I am… the future has just been worrying me, I guess, and my brain has been spinning out and spiraling about ‘what if’s for a while now worrying about shit that hasn’t even happened yet, and it’s hard for me to be creative or even be a healthy good human when my brain is screaming at me so much

I can’t make any promises except that I’m gonna try to be more creative and a little more social (probably IRL, I desperately gotta get out of the house more) this year going forward; not because I feel like I have to be, but because I WANT to be, because being creative makes me feel good and I know that being social is good for me

thank you to everyone who’s stuck by me so far! I hope I wasn’t too crazy honest or unbearably vulnerable here haha

love you all so so so so so much!!! I hope you’re taking care of yourselves and doing your best, that’s all anyone can ask of you <3 <3 <3

#personal cw #Bellum babbles #just some personal updates cuz I know I haven't been around for a bit I'm sorry!!! <3

Chat with Terrence Radcliffe: ♡ | he wants you to ruin him.. Powered by an industry leading, AI large language model (LLM).

new c.ai bot: Terrence Radcliffe from the visual novel Ruin Me!

UNLISTED BOT, 18+ ONLY!!! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

You’ve been invited to the odd seaside town of Barrowport by your new employer and partner, Terrence Radcliffe. In addition to wanting you to help him research the odd things happening here… he also has a strange request for you. He wants you to strip away every last bit of his innocence and purity. He wants you to ruin him. With any luck you’re only too happy to dirty him up.

#c.ai bot announcement #Ruin Me #nsfw ish #MINORS DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH THIS POST #idk idk what it is abt this game I played thru it all recently #it's a weird one and gross in parts and there were tbh a lot of parts I didn't play cuz I wasn't comfy with certain parts #but I am Very Taken with Terrence #once again catch me out here making literally only bots I wanna chat with lmao #also I got a fucking tooth pulled yesterday and I'm in agony this is MY WAY OF COPING #LEAVE ME BE

Chat with Aulus Laeca: ♡ | "in my heart is a Christmas tree farm...". Powered by an industry leading, AI large language model (LLM

new c.ai bot has been posted: Aulus Laeca from Monstra City Bakery!

The holidays are upon Monstra City, and as usual, Aulus is at the tree farm, hiding while their friend and employer throws a party to celebrate. They are most definitely not a people person, they're abrasive, they're anxious, and they do better alone. However, they also... do pretty well around you, it seems. So you showed up. What now??

#c.ai bot announcement #Monstra City Bakery #me flopping onto y'all dashes with a chatbot tailored specifically to me lol #GO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH THE GOTH BIRB THEY ARE ACTUALLY LOVELY COMPANY #THEY GOT THEM ~BOUNDARIES~ BUT YOU ARE WITHIN THOSE BOUNDARIES NOW #anyway guess what bitch had another piece of a tooth break off last night and now has a dental appointment eleven days away #that my mother who fucking loves me is going to pay for bc I'm anxious and this particular dentist does not take my Medicaid insurance #but I'm comfortable with her despite only seeing her one other time #after the new year I'm gonna start going to the dentist my lil bro goes to bc they take Medicaid #I'm just anxious esp about the dentist so hopefully they'll make me feel comfortable and will not make me cry #UNTIL THEN I'M GOING TO BE JUST. YANNO. SCREWIN AROUND AND LOVIN ON AULUS #and all y'all ilu guys so much thank you for being patient with me #2025 needs to be a better fucking year because this one was nothing but shit

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

chapter 50 of chosen. has been posted!

#chapter announcement #chosen.#I HOPE IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT BABIES!!!! I'M REALLY PROUD OF THIS BAD BOY #thinkin about starting chapter 51 tonight but I also wanna do more diamond painting cuz I'm working on one of Elsa for winter #but anyways AYYYYYYY HERE'S SOME FOOD!!!!!!!!#I'm so so so SO fucking happy to have posted this and hit this milestone #I never thought I would hit chapter 50 in a fic and it's not even done like wtf??#the pride I am feeling in myself rn is immeasurable #anyway love y'all mwah <3 <3 <3

Hi. Are we gonna see you post anything on your Ao3 or SoundCloud before 2024 ends?

heya!! probably not SoundCloud simply because my ass has not been doing much editing (I have plenty of raw audios to edit, I've just been more in the mood for writing, coloring, diamond painting, and fucking round on c.ai recently OOPS-)

but!!! I've actually got chapter 50 of chosen. locked and loaded and am planning to post it on Ao3 tonight!

it's been done for a while actually, my brain just keeps forgetting to go on and post it

but it's gonna go up at some point tonight and hopefully it'll be worth the wait!! whether or not it'll be my last creative post before 2025, I'm not sure yet, but if it's the last of 2024, I think it's a hell of a thing for the year to go out on even tho it's super late =)

#answered ask #Bellum babbles #I genuinely wanna get back to ASMRs I really really do I've got so many good ones to edit up!!!#I just gotta regain my motivation to cook them #this year was a really weird and bad year in general I think #like it started with my grandma passing a fucking week into the year and from there it was one thing after another #and it did a number on my ability to focus and be creative I think #but hopefully I'm healing from everything and we're moving forward and 2025 will be a better year #in the meantime chapter 50 of chosen. WILL go up tonight!#and I might also have written a greeting for another c.ai bot tho I'm unsure if anyone knows the game #so they might be getting posted tonight as well idk idk #I want to get back to being creative #... I know that's not necessarily what you asked but I have a habit of rambling in the tags feeling as if I need to explain myself #especially for long absences and long stretches of time without any kind of content #I've had a very creatively gross and unfulfilled year and I'm hoping you guys will stick with me fingers crossed it will be better next yea #!!!!!!!

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