I want to start this with the simple statement: I love living in Lynchburg. Â The rich community I am submersed in here blesses me every single week, and the friendships that I have here create in my soul a desire to push evermore into the heart of Christ with a new sense of abandon. Â That being said, some days it is very difficult to live in Lynchburg. Â Sometimes I find myself reading something one of the students have posted on Facebook, or catching snippets of conversations being had in coffee shops, or listening as someone avidly discusses something at church or a gathering with friends, and I just wonder if we arenât all missing it. Â
I watched a video earlier this week, it was about a child who has an incredibly rare skin disease, and he spends his entire life in pain. Â Waking, sleeping, dreaming, all of it contains some level of pain. Â His skin is so thin and sensitive that simply touching it causes it to break. Â Chewing and swallowing create sores and blisters in his mouth and throat. Â There is nothing about this life that is simple or easy for him. Â Never once in this video was Christ mentioned, it wasnât an emotional cry for people to know that God is good in spite of hardship. Â It was just a little boy who wanted people to understand what he overcomes every single day. Â The video included people reaching out and making dreams come true for him and simply acknowledging that his life isnât fair and coming alongside him as compassionate humans. Â I wept. Â I wept openly because for just a second I had an honest moment with the Lord, a moment where eternity met my right now and the space seemed a little smaller and His presence was a little heavier. Â âWhere are you in this? Â How do you receive glory in this? Â How is this you being good?â Â All of those questions went through my head and the Lord simply went, âBecause of this do you not see my heart a little bit more clearly? When you watch people step in and love abundantly, outside of themselves and for no benefit to themselves, do you not see my hands and my heart? Â In the moments of pain and trial do you not feel my arms and hear my voice a little more clearly?â Â
And here is where my heart broke. Â We miss it, every single day, we miss it. Â I wake up and go to work and I get to walk faithfully in relative ease. Â Every single moment that I have breath should be about His glory. Â Every single time I get to speak, smile, laugh, cry, merely exist, is for the furthering and the promoting of the glory of His great and holy name. Â And man if we donât lose sight of that. Inundated with Facebook posts, and tweets, and offhanded comments about rigid morality and what is right and what is wrong, we fail to get it. Â We fail to realize that if we are one hundred percent honest Christ doesnât give a single second to worrying about whether or not the yoga pants I like so much are modest, or if my tattoos are too much of this world, or where I land on a scale from Luther to TULIP. Â I fear we spend way too much time worried about earning passage into a Holy of Holies that no longer exists and totally lose sight of the fact that the curtain was torn. Â
Hear me here because I want to be clear.  I am in no way saying that the Lord doesnât care about our sin habits.  He absolutely does, because He makes it very clear in scripture that He is jealous for us.  He ruthlessly pursues our hearts, wholly and not by half, and our sin habits separate us from Him.  HOWEVER when we focus on a list of rules and regulations and try and white knuckle our way into being acceptable in His presence then we just arenât getting it. If I somehow attain a list of âI did this right this weekâ by clenching my fists and focusing on a list of rules, I have by no means achieved the call on my life, or even the call on my week.  The call on my day to day is to find what stirs my heart and my affection towards the Lord and to pour myself into that with abandon.  Perhaps we have placed the wrong question in front of ourselves for way too long.  Maybe instead of âIs this right?â  Or âIs this wrong?â  We should be asking âDoes this make me love Him more?  Does this create moments where the space seems to become smaller and I can feel His presence?â Or âDoes this drive me away from who He is due to shame, guilt, or preoccupation?â Â
In my head I have this picture.  It isnât pretty, but I fear it is accurate.  I just see so many off us dragging ourselves, broken and defeated, into the tabernacle and scraping our way into an empty and dusty Holy of Holies only to lay on the floor and wonder why God is so quiet and feels so far. Itâs hot and we are tired and the room smells of dirt and our own sweat, and that closeness, that assurance of His presence that we just knew would greet us once we had fought our way into the innermost parts of the tabernacle by sacrifice and rigid devotion to the law, is even less tangible here than it was outside.  And the entire time we are fighting and struggling to earn our way into this now deserted room we are completely missing that the veil was torn. The presence of God is no longer held solely in this space that we have held for too long as consecrated and utmost, and the air has grown stale as we sit and wonder where He is and why He feels so far.  When all we can see is a list of what to and what not to do then we miss the beauty of a scandalous grace and the freedom of justification through faith.  We miss the fact that He meets us where we are exactly as we are, and that a long time ago our sacrifices were made unnecessary. There is nothing that we can bring to Him to lay on altar that He desires outside of our hearts, wholly and not by halves. Â
Wanting to pursue Him with abandon is admirable, wanting to do that through a dedication to a long conquered set of laws is dangerous. Â The law beckons but it never brings life â life abundant is available now. Â So stop dragging yourself in to an empty and dusty room that holds no significance any longer, stand up, look up, and push into what sets your heart on fire for who He is. Â
There are moments in life when the space between here and eternity seems to be smaller, when His voice is made clearer, and His heart displayed well, and I can tell you without hesitation that none of that happens on the floor of the tabernacle, where the air is stagnate and the law still rules, it is grace that brings fresh air and fire. Â