@ctrlthegarden - Tumblr Blog

I'm in love with the idea of you, of who you once were. Loving, supportive, talkative. He was gone a long time ago. Is he a person that is part of you and you have lost, or is he in the past and a new you will form. Either way I fell in love with him and he fell out of love with me. It was selfish to believe he is still there and expect him to be there when you are here. But now we are nothing. No more no less. And you'll never love me again but I believed you.

I wish I had a friend. Someone to talk to. Someone to share my true feelings and thoughts.

I just want to be myself and say what I want to say and be accepted for that without having to feel like I'm burdening someone. Is that really too much to ask for in this world? I understand why and accept that I can't have that kind of friendship with you. Still I feel saddened by overwhelming loneliness. Everyday I am reminded that I am alone. I am reminded that I cannot share my thoughts. I cannot say what I need to say. I understand that it is not wrong to want or need attention. Simple human interaction is a basic social necessity. Yet I can't have that for myself.

I can't express myself through my social media or else people will think something is wrong with me. Which is true but I don't want people to know that about me. That's why I just want one person who can accept that part of me. But you said it was too much. You said that if I have a problem, talking to you about it was to make it your own problem and you couldn't handle that. I don't need to be someone's main priority. I needed to know that there existed a person that could accept me and my problems. I didn't need my problems to be fixed. I needed them to be heard. Maybe you knew that but still that was too much for you.

Regardless, I accept the reality of the situation which is that you cannot be that friend for me for personal reasons. I accept that what I want I cannot have in you. But then what am I left with?

A tiresome workplace. A classroom full of strangers. A parent that can't speak. A family with bigger problems. A dog. Is this where I find solace?

I've already accepted myself and learned to love myself. I just wanted to see acceptance and love from someone else.

sandandglass

24kblk

touki bouki by djibril diop mambéty, ‘73.

yeoja

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cheese24k

I figured out how to stop my baby from crying. Works 90% of the time.

2-bloom-deactivated20200706

“kiss the eggs”

he loves me

he loves me not

he loves me less

he loves me lots

he loves me now

but soon he will not

outofcontextarthur

agirlnamedally

Buster is a true advocate for confidence and self love

loblawdogblog

storyop1

becausebirds

Penguins: clumsy but adorable.

dreaming-jaybird

i never wanted this to end

ofgeography

oh my god those are ROCKS the penguins are falling on ROCKS are you OKAY PENGUINS do you need WINGPADS OR SOME OTHER KIND OF SHOCK ABSORBING PROTECTIVE BODY GEAR

bighonkinqueeniesbadbadbackstory

Fun fact, due to their flightlessness, penguins have actually extremely sturdy bones for birds. That plus their natural blubbery body makes them their own shock absorbers