hengry

he/him | 29 | 🏳️‍🌈 | 🏳️‍⚧️ my butt has perplexed many

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

[roaldamundsen]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[roaldamundsen]

?

[roaldamundsen]

can people stop saying insane things on this post

[cuntergathererr]

Getting my life together and dammit! My shambles, dude!!

[unification]

we yucky slammingg

[feldfrog]

Some people can rotate a cube in their mind. I can rotate multiple cubes. In my stomach. I swallowed some dice

[homophobla]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[kosmogrl]

god knew I’d be too powerful if I could read social cues

[fipindustries]

well, what i was getting at was really more like you should get out of the house more, socialize, meet people, these are all proven ways to deal with depression, try to distract yourself with fun activities, i get this is what you work as but there is a difference between performing and watching someone else perform, my point is, surely there are other clowns in town mr pagliacci

[asksloyxp]

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

[shinyrock6498]

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

[asksloyxp]

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

[infertilityidol]

giggled at something and my coworker comes out of the break room and goes "I just heard like, a haunted child laugh... so weird." and I'm like okay so it was a normal regular alive adult laugh actually

[loveridden1999]

having crush as an adult is so humiliating like you might as well shoot me

[vedurnan]

today at work i rung up a customer and the total was 12.30 and i said “12:30, reminds me of a clock :)” and they kind of smiled at me with confusion and i was like “like the time on a clock, just reminds me of it… 12:30” and they said “i have no idea what you’re talking about…” with an expression of supreme pity and gentleness. after that was finished i turned to my coworker next to me and said “i just bombed so hard with this clock comment” and then realized the customer hadn’t moved and was still standing right next to me. if my fate continues down this path, the customer will probably read this tumblr post as well

[probuccalfat]

why are you a cunt

to honour my mother before me and her mother before her and so on and so forth

[dizzyghoast]

i think its funny how if you imagine something scary enough your brain starts treating it like its real and out to get you. its really cool and not annoying at all

[dizzyghoast]

someone: i made up a guy called the Scary Getter! He's real spooky when he tries to getter you!

me: wow thats scary.....the Scary Getter.....what if hes real....what if he getters me???

[dizzyghoast]

gonna start reblogging this every time i start worrying about about the Scary Getter

[beetlegarden]

we are not born to die!! what are you talking about!! do you think a book begins just to finish? do you think a song opens with a beautiful chord just for it to end? you don’t read the book to finish it, you read the book to eat up the excitement and the emotions it evokes!! to learn and to digest and to fall in love and be heartbroken!! you listen to the song to dance and dance and sing your throat raw!!! to cry and smile and swell with the harmonies!! yes, we are born with the inevitable fate of death, we are mortal after all, but that is merely the finale of the play!! the final act, the closing of the curtains - we are not born to take a bow and exit stage left!! we are born to love and be joyous and yell and move and learn and cry and feelfeelfeel!!!  we are not born to die, silly, we’re born to live!!!

[astronomical-bagel]

This is so violently hopeful and uplifting everyone needs to see it

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning tutorial

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning walkthrough

[skatinginfinitelywithyourmom]

how to get up in the morning tips and tricks