Life of a Prison GF...

Just my feelings and expressions from myself. Things I find funny, cute, want, love, etc.

[fuckiminmy20s]

[jesuisunexado]

[the-disney-posts]

Love Disney?

[cupcake-lette9]

Day I saw my Panda Bear <3 #cute #outfit #pink #me #visitation #happy #excited #love

[slayerage-deactivated20121006]

[cupcake-lette9]

freaking love her in this movie!

[zodiacsociety]

The Young Virgo

[zodiacsociety]

Virgo Zodiac Facts

[baddiediih-deactivated20141010]

[cupcake-lette9]

baddiediih:

[lolthatsme]

[dracoharrys]

[cupcake-lette9]

Just an adorable panda eating some bread that my Panda drew for me :) #panda #bread #49ers #SF #cute

[cupcake-lette9]

Margarita time with my Mommy :) #TGIF #Margarita

[cupcake-lette9]

My stop smoking aids...sunflower seeds and my e-cig :) #Blu #e-cig #sunflowerseeds #quitting #smoke-free

[cupcake-lette9]

[cupcake-lette9]

Reminders

So I’m sitting here at my ex-husband’s gf’s house, thinking about thousand different things…why am I here? My man got transferred over to the prison where I'm at now and am going to visit him. And because I needed a place to crash to even be able to have a full visit. My ex and I are friends and him and his girl offered to have me stay. Which, of course, I’m truly grateful for because I’m definitely not made out of money and can really afford to stay 2 nights at the more decent hotels around the area. They know that as well. I mean hell about a month ago…I really only called him up to ask around about those hotels…I never actually asked to be here. But because I am it really brings me back to the memories that lead me to here. Him and I went back and forth for a long time between being friends and not. For me, being here, around him and his girl gives me closure. Beyond what I expected. About at least a year ago…this would never happen…but I’m so glad I made the choice to put my past (mostly bad) behind me and truly show that I have changed for the better. I am also happy for him and for the fact that I had the relationship I did have with him. On another note…I also got to watch one of my ultimate favorite movies of all time, Girl Interrupted. So brought me back to the dark days of my past that still sometimes looms and haunts me. My depression, the fact the I tried to kill myself, and feeling like I was crazy and nothing. I definitely have my control over it all but I still feel that there is only so much I can do about it. I feel that I need the extra professional help just so I can face my demons and ultimately feel like I’ve conquered my depression and no longer have to worry about it. Its unnerving to me to know that any given time…I could crack and just go off the deep end. The only things that have stopped me before is the family and friends that care. But I want to be in more control of my own and be more independent about it without having that “crutch”, or at least not as often. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am strong so far and I have a good percent of control I just…need and want more. And here next month I actually will start making that a true statement. I just hope I’m ready for it…

[cupcake-lette9]

Love is all I need. #love #heart #bar #pretty

[bettybonesco]

[sophiesse-deactivated20130904]