having many thoughts about david and asherās friendship and how itās evolved over the years
so far in their stories, we know more about david than we do asher. hell, we donāt even have asherās last name, nor do we know if heās got parents, family, anyone else besides the pack members that arenāt his bio family.
in asherās video after the first solstice party, he says that heās scared to let his relationship with david change, but what if he was afraid of it feeling set in stone? he says that he needs to step up more and take his role seriously but what if heās completely ignoring and discrediting himself?
davidās an observant guy. heās always had to be, and just is by nature. gabe always joked that if his head could swivel a full 360, heād start calling him an owl. but when gabe dies, he doesnāt notice much anymore.
asher takes over the solstice parties; the planning, catering, decorating, budgeting for the supplies all falls on him. he doesnāt take any credit for it, just lets the pack members that have the space for it take it instead. he visits david almost everyday, whether itās to bring a meal if he knows he doesnāt want to cook or to ātalkā but really heās doing dishes or cleaning something when davidās not looking. itās intuition for him, to know david even if he wonāt say whatās wrong.
itās asher thatās followed up pack meetings with emails listing summaries of the points, and scheduled secret ones in advance. itās him thatās dealt with pack issues that couldāve gone to david, but he knows that his best friendās barely floating right now and the last he wants is to bother him.
itās not until after the inversion, when asherās dropping off some paperwork for some behind-the-scenes training for miguel, that david sees the darkness under his eyes. he notices the worry thatās seemed to permanently under paint asherās expressions. his postureās tight and thereās a heaviness that wasnāt on his shoulders before. or was it? asher doesnāt seem bothered by it. in fact, he seems, used to it. the normal lightheartedness isnāt radiating from him anymore. the joke he made about david taking forever to answer the door seems strained at best. asherās legs and fingers donāt seem to ever stop moving when heās sitting on davidās couch: like he might break if he stops. the stillness has become his enemy and davidās finally noticed how asher seems to resemble atlas in that moment. it comes out clumsy and unsure, his question to asher if heās alright and he sees the dam crack a bit more. he shakes his head, his curls bouncing slightly and his smile seems too wide. too tight. his whole body is on edge, like a rubber band about to snap.
he pushes a bit more, testing the boundary. asher insists heās okay, heās just a bit worried about a couple matters that were brought up, but regret immediately washes over his face, like he spilled a secret he was entrusted not to say.
david asks what problems and asher replies with oh you know, the usual little things that you donāt have to bother with. and he pushes again. because what things shouldnāt i bother with? this is my job.
asherās fists curl into themselves a bit as he waves it off, the laugh a half note too high for his best friend and davidās alarms are going off. this isnāt asher. this isnāt the happy-go-lucky beta he grew up with. this is a different man and davidās not sure when he changed.
davidās tone softens when he sits next to him and asks him to be honest.
the dam breaks and asherās vomiting the past four years and how he planned the solstice parties and made sure he was fed, and the apartment was clean and angel was being taken care of after their own breakdown and taking them to therapy and getting their meds and working so much that his own mate has to force him to hand off three/four events a week so heāll take a day off once in a while.
the entire time asherās speaking, his throat is on fire and he emphasizes how much he does not blame david for not being able to function normally because hell, he hasnāt been able to function ānormallyā in so long and the talk he had with him was a genuine concern.
davidās finally realized how much heās missed and he apologizes for unintentionally pushing that much responsibility onto him and asherās laughing through his tears saying that itās so him to think he did something wrong but david iām your best friend and your beta. i know what you can handle, and all that time, you couldnāt do it alone, like you thought you could. and how he doesnāt ever want him to blame him.
he finally sees how much ash has grown and matured. and while he may be more serious when the time calls for it, his best friend will always be the same free-spirited, slightly childish man.
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